#like during my period or whatever

[lilgynt]

i’ve been doing skin care and not popping pimples when i get them but i went bat shit today and one of them shot on the mirror lemme tell you crack cocaine normally double the crack when you haven’t popped small ones in a minute

#personal #since i’ve been washing my face like twice a day and doing lotion toner sun screen i’ve been getting smaller ones/smaller break outs #like during my period or whatever #but some reason got like two big ass ones that bother me that won’t fucking pop #just sitting under my skin and big #got one to pop mirror shot ohhhhh my god #the other one i’ve torn apart to my annoyance still there #and since i’m fucking up anyway got the tiny ones that were there #oohhhh

[found--family]

am i the only one who sensed some jilted lover vibes from jensen? 

#burcon #cockles #thoughts #at the start of the panel and through a few particular interactions he seemed very standoffish #he was giving a little bitter and hurt and perhaps even resentful - maybe he only learned of misha's gf #at this con too! maybe it was news to him. on top of not seeing misha for months i can understand #if he was feeling a bit neglected and out of the loop. there's also the matter of misha's gf not being #in a poly thing with jensen and dee like vicki was ie. what she has with misha is seperate so i'm sure #that's another difficult thing to deal with knowing their time together is strictly separate #i've no doubt he wants misha to have a partner and be happy but there's an adjustment period #letting new people into your life and whoever misha's partner is now or in the future is going to #affect jensen on a personal level and moreover his relationship with misha. it's all very intriguing #and while i like what little i've seen and heard about this woman for misha i just think no matter who #she is it's going to take a toll on jensen's relationship w misha. i thought it was plain to see on jensen's face #during their panel: numerous moments where he was giving a poker face that wasn't covering a laugh #but instead like he was trying to smooth out his bitterness. or so my eyes and brain and heart tell me. #just various moments where things looked uncomfortable and jensen making off-colour jokes that didn't land #and which furthermore were barbed and snarky - not in their usual banter way but like he was lashing out #and using the excuse of chaotic panel convo to explain away his comedic pitfalls. but again maybe i'm #looking to much into it? idk. there are some lovely moments! fun and caring moments - but they #mainly came from misha's direction ngl. it seemed like misha was trying hard to keep the peace #while jensen was just running his mouth on comments and jokes that kept not landing - for me #everyone on my dash is loving their dynamic this panel - and i want to feel that love! it is possible that #learning misha has a gf has skewed my perception a little like i'm putting context onto moments #i otherwise wouldn't. but i also think i would've laughed and generally felt better watching their panel #if that was the case. idk. whatever the reason i do think something was OFF between them on stage #and it was coming from jensen from the start. misha picked up on it partway though but things felt #a little strained throughout. like jensen wasn't looking at misha as much as usual or reaching out for him #misha tried to salvage and not react to things. but both their answers to the last Q were passive aggressive af #and when they left the stage together they weren't close or touching or chatting like they usually are...

[wifegideonnav]

tbh when mitski said “you’re my best friend/now i’ve no one to tell/how i lost my best friend”

#my freshman year of college my best friend and I were both a wreck #and on opposite sides of the country #during winter break I made the decision to share certain information with their parents bc I was actively concerned for their safety #they were deeply upset about me betraying their trust like that and asked for a break in our friendship #(a few months later (which happened to be early March 2020. lol) they did shrooms and realized they wanted to talk to me again lmao) #(so we talked and cried and now we’re still best friends almost 4 years later) #and my birthday is in january so it fell right in the middle of the period we weren’t talking #and my friends at school actually put together a really lovely party and it remains to this day the best bday party ive had #(most of my bdays have been sad and shitty lol) #but i just remember being drunk in my friends dorm room with my friends all around me #it was the end of the night people were just kinda chatting in little groups or whatever #and i was lying on my friends bed just miserable bc all I could think about was how my best friend was supposed to be there too #bc my parents were going to fly them out for the weekend as a present #and obviously that just got dropped #and id been talking to my friends about it kind of but all I wanted was my actual best friend #I left them a very embarrassing drunk voicemail that THANK GOD they deleted without listening to #but it’s just. the quiet agony of being angry and sad and hurt because your person doesn’t want to be ur person anymore #and still wanting to talk to them about it. still needing them to comfort you and give you their advice and insights #i don’t want to talk to anyone else about it. they’re not you. #sigh. anyway. ive actually lost several close friends for various reasons ranging from reasonable to bullshit #and it always blindsides me how much I want to talk to THEM about it #so thanks mitski for expressing that so artfully #op

[mariemariemaria]

ive realised that i just?? dont take paracetamol most of the time when im in pain? even though i have the tablets and know its an option?? just suffered through a whole day of cramps and literally only realised that i didnt have to do that? i dont have to suffer?

#it took years of me having period pain before my mother was like 'u know u can take tablets...u dont have to suffer' #and that seemed like a revelation but tbh a lot of the time i just forget #like idk if its about the normalisation of womens pain or whatever. or if i literally just forget that its an option lol #or just dont see it as necessary when i can survive without it #like last night i took one to help me sleep #but during the day im like 'well i can still do my activities so theres no point' ??? as if it wouldnt be way better if i wasnt in pain??

[rin-hanarin]

I don't even search for dirkjohn anymore, but end up seeing people hating on it anyway to a weirdly extreme degree, and it's been like that for over a year. My only conclusion is that HS fandom fucking sucks and is clinically unable to just let people enjoy anything without being obnoxious, I'm really tired of it and no amount of my nostalgia or positive feelings towards the original comic makes it worth it.

#i really hope one day people will stop acting like it's the most vile thing and it killed their crops and ate their newborn or whatever else #hs #it was like that with johndave in 2016 too #i couldn't care less about jake either and his rabid fans who are convinced that it's against him specifically don't make it better #seeing dirk as a separate from his ship with jake character is a herculean task too #just shut the fuck up #i would ignore it but dirkjohn is very very important to me #it helped me during two of the worst periods of my life #so I'm just upset by the vitriol

[camgoloud]

who else up feeling the soul-numbing empty hopelessness for absolutely no reason this friday night

#literally nothing bad even happened to me personally today cannot emphasize this enough #i just read one too many of the Wrong wikipedia articles during the period after the sun went down at fucking 4 pm or whatever and then #my brain just decided it was time to replay the biggest hits of the great 2020-2022 depressive episode for fun i guess #and now i’m having. a series of moments. over a series of ridiculous things #again not even specific things that have actually happened to me just the whole vague existential dread deal i guess #truly i haven’t felt this shitty without some kind of direct cause for a year and half at this point #which is having the semi-beneficial side effect of reminding me to appreciate just how good my mental health has been recently #like. remember how i used to just feel like this all the time for. actually most of my life Until a year and a half ago? damn that’s crazy #i hope i snap out of this lmao i really cannot deal with walking into the holidays as a hollow shell of a person #but i think i’ll be fine tomorrow actually pretty sure i’m just kind of sleep deprived after this week #caseyposting

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

what was the usage for 'death note' back in the 1800s i need to know

#death note #i will be doing more research on this when i'm not trying to get stuff done i just keep getting distracted #well at first i had the thought to check the correlation between the use of the word 'narcissism' and variations to check if it was used #more significantly and negatively post-addition-to-the-dsm or if the dsm (and fucking freud) chose a bad word that stigmatized it further #i wanted to know if the word had a negative connotation before or if the disorder made the word have the connotation it has now #same w psychopath/psychopathy. i was curious #anyways that had nothing to do w my work and i got even more off track bc of death note #i simply must find the reason 'death note' was used back then i'm v curious but alas i am about to fall behind on schoolwork #and like. Ngram measures books/lit so this is in writing somewhere with the exact phrase a significant amount #side note: i have case-insensitive turned off because it combines them and i want to be able to separate Death Note the series from whateve #death note means in past cases #and i have filtered out any cases i see as irrelevant (i.e. DEATH note Death note death NOTE <-real things that showed up) #also i find the resurgence of the phrase 'Death Note' in distinct periods to be interesting #DEATH NOTE was only used really during the manga/show's initial release #anyway i will be back to this at some point when i can do more research (this weekend?) #also i will answer the ship asks later bc i need to put some Thought into my answers. feel free to send as many as u want btw

[sisterdivinium]

There's a lot of stuff I'd love to do but then there's only so much time and only so much external interest regarding such events too.

Some sort of short fic exchange for non-juggernaut WN ships or some funky comment fic place or a capslock community for all your unhinged commentary needs or a WN bingo... I don't know, something.

#don't mind me i am old and i want journal-type fandom back is all #i understand some of you might engage in similar activities on discord or whatever but that's really not what i envision #the short fic exchange could even be a drabble exchange. we leave the big ship out though or else it would overtake the thing #anyway. something something creating community. #speaking of i'll probably be less active here starting apr 25th up to may 15th. that's because 3 weeks for dreamwidth will be on #the drabbles will still be posted here on the fridays during that period but i'm thinking of hanging out there a bit more #maybe i can pull one of you in to hang out with me there. maybe one day we'll have enough numbers for a cosy community lol #that's the point of the event though. see if any fresh meat can be seduced by dw ;) #i have a few hild icons i mean to post and i'd like to finish my 1x02 wn batch as well but that seems unlikely atm #we'll see. thinking of some meta too. and whatever i end up writing for fan_flashworks will stay on dw until the event is over as well #so you might want to keep an eye on there if you're interested! #i have the same username there as here so it's easy to spot me #silly blabbering

[k1rishiki]

going from "i like ayaka but i'm going to pull for her brother instead bc i already have a cryo sword user + i want to replace my barbara w a 5*" to ayaka's biggest wanter and a ride or die barbara stan who doesn't even use ayato. every day i regret my decisions made during 3.5

#he's at level 39 w a dull blade and random artifacts. i originally just threw whatever on them but then harvested them for other characters #also my anti barbara era was soooo pathetic like. i just wanted 5*s for the sake of having 5*s despite the fact that barbara Literally Is A #5* under the 4* label (she was meant to be a limited 5* but then hoyo realized that they never gave us a free healer so they changed #barbara's rarity and gave her out for free. which is the reason why she's the only 4* w a 5* burst animation) #also 'i don't need ayaka when i actually use my kaeya' was dumb too. you Can't be playing genshin w only one functional team it's just not #sustainable + not as much fun. genuinely this was during the period of time when my kaeya was lvl 80 and everyone else was ~lvl 40 or lower #bc i wanted to replace them and i just had kaeya solo everything and wondered why i couldn't complete the rank up quest/do big numbers #n e ways. now that i've forgiven qiqi for the crime of not being scara + fallen in love w layla + still am a kaeya main + actually #understand how genshin team comps/building characters work i've realized that a. cryo sword users have my fave gameplay and b. you can make #a fully rounded genshin team w just them (ayaka is a main dps. kaeya is a sub dps. qiqi is a healer and layla is a shield) and i haven't #seen anyone else use them all together that way and i want to be the first. but first i need ayaka. #+ all their signature weapons bc. c'mon. how much cooler would that be (read: i feel like i'd get more clout for it) #romeo.txt

[jinstronaut]

Ok love what you’re doing to gif jin daily however could we change up the clips you’re posting? I feel like I’ve been watching him apply cream for a week straight 😂💗

hi!!!! so let me just be really frank you with -- i'm doing this for free! and i have two (2!!) days off a week, and i have to make certain content last longer so i HAVE clips to post. for free!!!!! to me, as jin is my ult bias, i don't even care if i watch him put face cream on four days in a row -- i'm just happy to see his face and i love and miss him so so much!!!!!!!

so i'm sorry if sometimes things feel repetitive, however!!! as of right now, i've made over 700 gifs!! and we're only in the 200s out of 543 days!!!! so think about how many MORE gifs i get to make during this process!!!!!!!!!!

so you'll forgive me if i stretch things out sometimes so i don't 1) go insane hunting out a million things to clip, 2) use up my 48 hours of free time making gifs non stop like a machine, and 3) get creative block and stop the series altogether when i really, really don't want to do that!!

i'm a very very nice person and i'm very very kind and i never really say anything, but this message (as kindly intended as it could have been) really just... does not read the way you think it does, nonnie! so please remember that people like me -- content creators -- spend all of our time doing the things we do for FREE! i have to find the content, clip the content, color the content, and upload the content all by myself! and i never, ever complain, so please just think about these things before you complain about 3 gifsets (out of over 200!!!) being from the same sequence :) thank you so much!

#today is not the day and i am not the one !!!! #normally i would just delete something like this but let me tell you #i just got promoted at work my schedule is crazy i am lucky to have a day off to contribute to this series which is something i do for FUN #and because i love jin and i miss jin and i want army to have something to focus on during the long periods where we are missing the boys ! #so i dont see how complaining about free content makes sense :) thank you so much god bless #anon #answered #long post // #maybe ill delete this later idk this just rubbed me the wrong way like #everyone can gif the same photoshoot or music video or whatever but i make 4 sets out of a very long sequence and its an issue??? #anyways if you want specific content make it yourself uwu

[paper--machete]

twenty one pilots save me

#musicposting #so embarrassed that this is the band im connecting with during what is likely the darkest period of my life so far #but its whatever. im glad i like them

[raspberry-gloaming]

Hey, I'm doing some stuff related to an au I'm creating but I'm getting stuck on some ideas, so does anyone have any ideas of what kind of things companions (companions from any dw media really, classic, NuWho and eu) could have in relation to a power or extreme skill.

Extreme can be in both the type of skill or even the skill level of something more everyday and could be both fantasy inspired or not. something that in this au they would have developed considerable proficiency in by age 11.

#this is for my Nevermoor!Au #I have knacks for a couple companions #plus doctor and master #planned out #but for many not so or it's just whether they're gonna be arcane or mundane #I've sorted out a vague Doctor timeline #they need to be ~29 for the equivalent of season 16 #and I've worked out at which points they're actively part of the League of Adventurers as opposed to or as well as Wunsoc #as well as their completely rogue periods #they're gonna be Patron for quite a few characters #Susan #and then the successive teenage girls who One and Two adopted like because they reminded them of Susan or whatever #So Zoe and Vicki and so on #and then timeskip to a good deal later they're Ace's patron #and then even later Bill #and during their Five!Era for 5's gaggle of orphans they're gonna be their Conductor #doctor who #dw #companions #au #alternate universe #powers #Nevermoor

[doublekanble]

with that, my contribution to the wider fandom is completed. now back to regular alastor posting

#/kbtalk #got one fic in the oven but its a lotta actual talking so i have to think for once instead of just typing out whatever is in my head #one fic in the oven but i have 3 ideas #one already got a bit of work in and ther other 2 are just there #really wanted to write one about him actually maiming and eating you and then literally are haunted by your heart (telltale heart typeobeat #in love with classic literatures that i dont have the time to read... #i have an idea for like #exclusively male and very gay reader and alastor who got married in a bard in the middle of the night in 1929 but im so weak #im not going to do all that research (me who have 4 pdf of books about gays in the time period) #i havent stop thinking about alastor ever since the first fucking episode or so and its rlly concerning #i think i can actually write for the others too but if its not about girls i dont have the motivation lol #i might be nb and is extremly queer #... #anyway yippee first fic tjhats not about al #me during it : man i could be working on an alastor fic RIGHT NOW

[todayisafridaynight]

def one of the weirdest details about Y7's models is that- for ikumi at least- you can not only see her cuticles but see how jagged/uneven they are

#snap chats #SORRY i was looking at my own cuticles since my nail polish is old enough to start chipping away #and i was just picking at loose pieces and whatever but then i got reminded #like i dont know if that's how it is for EVERYONE'S hand models #i would be able to argue so if ikumi wasn't a girl and ergo used a different model from 90% of the cast #did anyone else have a period during quarantine where they just watched manicure videos #i blame that for me knowing what cuticles are

[pepprs]

ok hi. not to be stupid about this publicly once again but it’s 5:34 am [update it is now 5:53 am] and i have gotten absolutely HORRIBLE sleep tonight. first bc i was so stressed that i couldn’t fall asleep until 1:30am. then because my sister is sleeping in our room again (long story) which is good for her bc she’s making progress w her ocd but it means that she comes in with h the flashlight on after 2am and has to check the room and she leaves the bedroom door wide open which distorts the white noise from the sojnd machine which is right in front of my bed. and she’s like laughing at stuff on her phone too so all the subtleties of sound and light disrupt me and wake me up and throw me off. and also it’s freakishly hot so i woke up a couple times bc of that. and now im awake at 5:30ish after barely sleeping for 4 hours bc im stressed bc it’s Passover and my moms bday and im leaving work early today and tomorrow for the “””””Seder””””” (which again literally is not a seder it’s just dinner w my grandpa) and barely have time to get anything done at work and haven’t done anything for my mom and have to clean the house for my grandpa to come over and we literally don’t even have a dinner table yet likr idkw aht the fuck we’re going to do.. and also im fucking STARVING. because guess what!!!! we have to stop eating bread!!!! and i usually have 4 slices with avocado / guac on them before i go to sleep but there were only 4 slices left in the whole house so i had 2 so my brother will get to have the other 2 during the day. and my stomach is howling rn. and we have other things to eat like fruit and stuff but nothing that’s not going to throw me off.. like im not about to eat an orange at 5:30am it’s going to set my throat on fire with the acid this early in the morning. and we don’t have any snack foods in this house or like anything that can be made without having to prepare it for a while bc of our diet (lol). and we don’t have any flatbread or tortillas or whatever yet. so im going fucking crazy and feeling resentful abt passover again and wondering what the hell im going to do going into work and not being able to eat bagels for breakfast after not being able to eat my bedtime snack and being this hungry and stressed and miserable for a week on top of everything else. lol

#purrs #food #religion tw #(sorry lol) #delete later #ive had a lot of conversations in the last few days (some of them w other jewe) and everyone’s assuring me it’s fine if i keep eating bread #if it’s for health reasons and im not going to experience kareth for that. esp bc i already do things on the kareth list and also gay sex is #on there too and there’s a lot of stuff on there abt ppl being impure for having their periods too so.. just my two sent’s but i think thats #all ​fucking insane and a clear sign that those rules were not made by god and that they were made by prejudiced human beings. bc i believe #in spinozas god i think. and spinozas god would not punish humans for being humans. and would not want humans to suffer and suppress #themselves out of worship. though im not saying that you shouldn’t suffer or suppress yourself or whatever or find meaning in that if you #want to like im thinking abt Yom Kippur and stuff. but idk. im so conflicted. i stirred up this whole big crisis for myself about being #jewish and it’s very embarrassing and i don’t want to die or doom my future children or go to hell or whatever but apparently that’s already #gonna happen to me for like.. not observing shabbat and almost certainly cutting fruit during Shabbat so. whatever. but continuing to eat #bread during Passover feels like a totally different thing to me. but also i know actual jewish ppl who do not observe passover and i don’t #judge them for that or think they’re doomed to kareth. so idk. it’s all so fucked up. i want to be full and i want to go back to sleep and i #want to stop worrying about religion and constantly being afraid im invoking cosmic consequences for living my life and wanting to make #choices that feel good for me. bc it s already so fucking hard to make choices when im worried abt my moms judgment and trying to not hurt #my family ang more than i already do by existing and feeling my way. bringing god into it too is a whole other level of distress and misery

[fivefeetfangirl]

convention money is crazy. i wish i could make that kind of cash just from taking pics with people and signing my name on shit. lord what misha and jensen made in two days would feed and house me for a decade easy. madness. i bet they got free food all weekend too. fuck my entire life aint worth $250k. i could literally sell everything i own, a kidney and my ass to a dozen dudes and still be 90% short of what misha and jensen made this past weekend.

you and me nonny, you and me 😔

personally im good. i dont need their money. i'll wear my wool sweater and wool socks and keep warm etc etc but it just feels so unrealistic sometimes. like they really do be living such a completely different life than most of their fans. thinking about con prices and such really is crazy. im not gonna come on here and say they should do this and this with their money but i do hope they do feel some resposibility to do something useful with it

#the thing is. im fine. im good. my uni is covered like 99% by the state. i have my student loan which im saving for something else. and i #live with my family during normal uni days (not rn tho). and i get that theyre in like a completely different period in their lives. they #have worked like 30+ years and i know misha comes from a poor family and i do know he often donates to charity which is nice #but like every time i actually sit down and think about the numbers. jeez. like. one picture. i payed 120 euros for ONE picture with misha. #and i get that i dont have it bad. i went to a con. im going to a con. but like. i do that and have to not do something else. yk? i have to #choose. imagine never having to think things through without buying (omg re rob and the watch or whatever) #anyways. idk. feels weird. the world is unfair (i hate saying that). and i doubt they (jenmish) will get cheaper and i doubt cons will stop #so yeah. i suppose it kinda is a it is what it is situation #stuff like this is always so weird. we mock my dad for going on business trips and stuff. but for him thats tiring. so like i get its their #job to do cons and thats tiring. but for me. (us?) an outsider. it sure looks like a really easy job. idk. im just ranting and throwing #thoughts out there. hi! if you bothered reading this far down <3 #funny that my feet are freezing rn. the amount of wool clothes im wearing you guys. crazy. gonna take a hot shower later to warm up