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staysuki · 3 years

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ᴘᴇɴɪs ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ™️ | lee felix fic (i'm sorry)

pairing: famous billionaire that's too good to be true, owner of a very successful company!lee felix x personal assistant!reader

genre: crack, a TINY bit of romance, satire, semi-fifty shades parody (barely)

warnings: this entire fic is one whole dick joke. don't read if you're easily put-off by childish and immature dick jokes. 18+ ??????? (there's no smut though, it's just full-on crack but centered around a penis theme).

word count: 1.5k

synopsis: you find yourself working at the very famous company named "penis heart"— your first mistake? not knowing that fact.

a/n: this is a writing practice joke inspired by a very productive conversation between BS anon and i (see #ash's pp hair tag for more context— and no, not in that way). this is also a testament on how i practice writing fics in my spare time (there's so many random drabbles like this in my secret folder).

networks: @ficscafe (i'm sorry)

"mr. lee will see you now."

your heart sped up in anxiousness as you walked through the refined double doors, a well-kept concierge gently opening the door for your entry revealing a spacious office lined with floor to ceiling glass windows. a single desk perched in front of a lavish white couch occupied by none other than president of the company, lee felix, himself.

most sought out eligible bachelor, award-winning, young and established entrepreneur, lee felix, who had successfully started his own company that had amassed billions of income.

what he does? you don't know. you've actually never heard of this man until earlier today when your friend had hooked you up a job in his company. thank god for ryujin, but also, you were soon about to realize that maybe, perhaps, you should've done your due research before coming in here so you wouldn't have to go through the embarrassment of choking on your coffee when the front desk lady greeted you with "welcome to penis heart enterprise."

nonetheless, you were here for a job interview and you were too afraid to ask what the company is about and why in the world it's called like that. and also as to why the president of the company himself asked to see you personally for an entry-level job.

you see him gesture in the seat in front of him, urging you to sit so you complied, taking in his features up close. despite knowing the fact that he's a young businessman, you didn't expect for him to look this young. probably just the same age as you. he was wearing a crisp fine suit, his blonde hair styled in a formal way, making him look somewhat mature but you can see the boyish glint in his eyes, his adorable pouty lips, and the way freckles adorned his cheeks like stars. the initial nervousness you had seemed to wash away as he offered you a kind smile.

"good day, miss y/n, pleasure to meet you!"

"uh you too," you answered by instinct but immediately corrected the casual tone, "ah, i mean—it's a pleasure to meet you too, sir, i've heard great things."

"ah please, drop the formal tone. you can call me felix!"

you nodded, adhering to his words, though you did find it quite odd that you were being treated in such a manner. as if you were meeting as friends and not as future boss and employee.

"anyways, i suppose i shall start with the interview now, if you don't mind. i like to keep things casual so don't stress about it too much. why don't we start by you asking some questions for me instead?" he said, putting down your files on the coffee table.

"oh," taken aback by the unconventional interview method, you wracked your brain for vague questions but your curiosity got ahead of you. "if you don't mind me asking.... why penis heart? and what even—"

it was his turn to be taken aback by you, perhaps not expecting an applicant to not know what they're getting themselves into, "oh, i assumed you would've known."

you shook your head so he continued.

"well, we make penises." he said with a straight face that you would've assumed was a prank if not for the fact that he seemed deadly serious.

"come again?" you couldn't fully believe it but as you think back on the earlier walk towards his office, you recall the phallic and suggestive decor littered around the place, which checks out.

"penis hearts, we call em."

"so... you make... dildos." you emphasized.

"please, miss y/n, penis hearts."

"dildos."

"penis hearts."

you eyed him dubiously, "you make sex toys."

"..." he bit his lip, a bit stupored but nonetheless, replied once more, "yes."

“but not just that, we make other penis themed items too— like stationary!” he clarified.

you nodded once again. you weren't one to judge, you weren't the one swimming in money for making cocks out of eco-friendly materials (felix specified this bit clearly).

"so why is it called penis heart?"

you can tell that he was now much more delighted to answer this particular question, fully prepared to give you background story on the lore of the company, "well, you see, when i started out this company— or business idea— it wasn't supposed to be... mature. you know? like, my first product ideas weren't sex toys. it was to market phallic objects to inspire the inner child within all of us. like how even at age 32, one would still laugh at a 69 joke or draw penises on random platforms— hence, penis heart. we all have a heart for penises. but of course, we try to be inclusive here so it's not just dicks or whatnot."

"so what was your first product?"

"dick tape."

"come again?"

"you see, it's like duct tape, but dick."

curious, you were so curious. but you didn't feel like asking any further, so you didn't. at this point, you were too afraid to ask for anything more but you continued.

"then why the sex toys?"

"well, with a name like penis heart, it was inevitable to be misunderstood as a sex company so i just went with whatever the consumers demanded. the money is in the dildos."

it has been a few months since you started working for pp heart (as everyone else liked to call it) and honestly, you surprisingly enjoy it. sure, you have bad work days but that's normal. all in all, the whole workplace environment wasn't toxic and even your fellow co-workers seemed "alive" despite working a 9-5 office job. perhaps it was one of the perks of having a young boss that has an odd way of thinking. or at least, perhaps it's that "childlike" innocence that he so adhered to that spread all throughout the building. either way, you were happy to be here.

although you were hired by felix to be his assistant (his previous one got fired because she was divulging company secrets) you weren't positioned within his office. instead you were sharing a room with the other higher ups in different cells, with your own desk moreso perched outside for felix's easier access.

you've gotten to know everyone but so far, the closest one you've gotten to know is seo changbin, the head of the board of directors. an amicable, no bullshit, kinda guy who seems to have a mindset of "here for work and work only." but despite that, you can see that he does his best on whatever is tasked, no matter the ludicrousness.

you two would even share coffee breaks together, alongside felix who insists on hanging out with his employees to boost morale. you would be lying if you say it didn't work especially since the man seemed to be a walking ball of sunshine. with the way he carries himself outside his prim office, you wouldn't think that he owns a conglomerate.

today is one of those days that felix weren't joining you and changbin in the breakroom as you shared a pleasant conversation with each other.

"so.. stocks and whatnot."

"ah yes, we are talking about business numbers and product descriptions."

"yes this is how normal people talk in office jobs."

the conversation carried from productivity to simple day-to-day banter. although you've gotten close, none of you have ever really decided to take a step further into a friendlier relationship (at least promoting "work friends" to "outside of work friends") until today, that changbin had finally decided to brave that next step.

"so... y/n.."

"yeah?" you inquired, sipping on your coffee as you munched on a chocolate muffin.

"you see, i was wondering if you had anything to do today after work.. since it's friday and all."

you pondered on it for a bit, thinking whether you have anything to do but you shook your head, not recalling anything. you can see joy spread in his face as you said so.

"that's great! cuz you see, i was wondering if— oh, you have something over here—" changbin went to reach for your face but was stopped by a hand grabbing his wrist.

you both look up to see a smiling felix, though his eyes held a bit of mischief. "sorry, i wanted to see y/n in my office for a bit." he greeted, placing changbin's hand down on the table. "is that okay? am i disturbing anything."

as you started to stand up , looking curiously at felix, wondering what he needed, your peripheral caught the view of changbin sighing in disappointment as he looked away, "you're the boss." he replied with an unusual snark but felix's smile just grew wider, urging you to follow him.

he closed the door behind the two of you as you entered his office, you hear him mutter saying something about how maybe he should get your desk positioned inside his office instead.

"what was it that you needed from me?" you asked, breaking the silence.

felix just turns, his demeanor now much more serious, intimidating almost as he stepped closely in front of you, making you corner yourself on the door behind you.

he immediately reached for your face, wiping some chocolate from the corner of your lips, licking his finger clean afterwards. the sight probably making you cream your underpants in that instant.

"nothing, i just don't like anyone touching what's mine."

#ficscafe #felix fic #lee felix fic #skz fic #stray kids fic #skz smau #skz crack #felix crack #stray kids crack #lee felix crack #ash's pp hair

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0606-hyuck · 3 years

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a letter to my lover | lee jeno

♡ dear y/n, i’m writing you this letter in the hopes that it gets to you well. our relationship has been tumultuous, that’s for sure, and i thought it was high time i wrote you a letter detailing all the times you said "i love you" that are important to me.

genre: jeno x reader, fluff, mild angst, supernatural!jeno, angel!jeno

warnings: blood and violence, descriptions of injuries

word count: 1.9K

tagging: the lovely @roses-of-the-moon ♡ @mora134340 + @nct-writers

Dear my beloved Y/N,

The first time you said “I love you”, you had already saved my life.

I still remember the day you found me, as clear as the cloudless sky that loomed above us. You were taking a short walk through a hiking trail when we met; the stony path was surrounded by great trees, which you later informed me were pine native to the area. I still remember the look on your face when you found me: beaten, bloodied, and bruised, with my left ankle twisted in between two large roots that protruded from the dirt. You clearly couldn’t believe what you were seeing, if we’re going off of the double take you did - you later told me that you never imagined you would come across a half de-robed young man with feathery wings sticking out of his naked back.

When I realised you had spotted me, a billion thoughts were flying through my mind. Would you help me? Would you call the authorities to report what you’d just witnessed? Would you even believe what your eyes were showing you? From the moment we met, you knew I was not from this world - hell, the wings were a pretty big give away - but only hesitated for a second before you ran off the path to help me, to make sure there were no other walkers travelling the same track. It would be an understatement to claim I was in a wee bit of a predicament. Considering I was an angel who had just been chased from my world into yours, beaten, and left for dead, life wasn’t really going my way at this point. I was the divine being in this situation, but on that day you were the only angel in the forest.

Without batting a single eyelash, you rushed over to examine my wounds. The cuts were deep and painful, but ultimately not life-threatening. You mustered all your strength to pull back the roots that enclasped my broken ankle, and, after you had me leaning against you, you threw your jacket over my shoulders to conceal my wings, arguably the only in-tact part of me at this stage. You led me back down the path, and by some god-given miracle we hobbled to your parked car together without encountering another person on the track. You saved my life that day, no questions asked, and for that, Y/N, I will spend the rest of my life trying to pay you back.

The second time you said “I love you”, I had fallen for you.

The day you found me wounded in the forest, you had taken me back to your apartment where you lived alone. I remember thinking, even in my delirious loss-of-blood state, that your home was so dull and lifeless and there was no way any human could live here and be truly happy.

You spent the next few weeks virtually gaining a nurse’s certificate of practice with the amount of knowledge you were retaining in order to heal me. Taking me to a hospital was out of the question, given the wings, and so you resorted to healing my cuts, bruises, and bones from the comfort of your old single bed. I remember you were worried that you would end up mistreating a festering wound and I would die alone in your apartment while you were at your day job, but you really had nothing to worry about.

After six weeks, my body was completely healed, and the home-made splint you fastened around my leg had straightened the bone right out. Of course, I was left with a barely-noticeable limp, one you would only spot if you already knew I had one, but that was to be expected given how mangled it was when you found me.

The only thing your new-found medical skills were not able to heal was my broken heart. Granted, I didn’t expect you to. Facing the truth that I’d been exiled from the world I had called my home for my whole life by people who believed lies about my past, and having to leave behind friends and family that cared for me was something I was going to have to deal with at some point. It would take years for me to fully accept my new life, although you were there to support me every step of the way.

When I had physically healed, and informed you I had no idea how to get back home, we both realised the only option for us was to become obligatory roommates. I not only had the good luck of running into possibly the only human who unconditionally accepted what I was, but also one who was in dire need of socialisation and company, too.

We spent the next few weeks doing this thing you called ‘online shopping’ together, finding furniture and items to decorate our new, shared space with. After our packages had arrived, we found ourselves with a brighter, cosier place we were soon calling our home. And, for the first time since I’d met you, you seemed truly happy.

The third time you said “I love you”, I was giving up my life for you.

By this stage, three years had passed since you had first saved me. Our meeting in the forest felt like eons ago, and we had only grown closer since then. Our apartment had stayed more or less the same since we first decorated it - the only difference was we got rid of your musty single bed in exchange for a larger, softer queen-sized bed, which we spent many long nights together in. We referred to each other as ‘partners’, and we had shared so many feelings, thoughts, and memories together that I couldn’t ever imagine living in a world without you.

But that was the problem. You were a mere human and I an angel - there would be a time when you would pass and I would find myself alone in a world that was not my own. That’s when I made the decision - I would give up my immortality to live out the rest of my natural life with you. You tried to convince me not to, worried I was giving too much up for our relationship, but my mind was set. And so, my research began.

When I was a young boy in the celestial plane, I heard rumours about ancient beings who had the power to strip angels of their divinity, leaving them as mortal as any typical human, and cast them away into other worlds. If I could find one of these beings, I could ask them to rid me of my divinity too, and send me back to Earth. Well, that was the plan, anyway.

I have to give credit where credit is due, Y/N, once you realised I had made my decision, you did your best to help me find a way back home. The library in your town appeared seconds away from falling down, but contained numerous books about mythical creatures and local legends, and you always fetched the ones I needed when I asked.

I spent months upon months scouring every book and online resource I could find that was even remotely related to angels and the celestial plane. Long nights were consumed by skim reading hundreds of pages of decades old writings, but we eventually found something promising.

Since I was still technically an angel, I retained some of my powers which were vital for me to be able to travel back home. I still remember the last time you held me before I left. You buried your head into my shoulder and left a massive tear stain on my yellow jersey, and you wouldn’t let me go for a solid five minutes. You said you loved me, and I said it back. I had told you I loved you numerous times before this, but this time it was different.

The ritual I was about to perform was dodgy, at best, and even if I did make it to the celestial plane there was no guarantee I would be able to return. When you held me tight, all that was running through my head was the last few years we’d spent together, the happiest years of my whole life. I couldn’t ever imagine living without you, but that was a reality I was facing - for all we knew, this was the last time we would see each other.

The last time you said “I love you” was yesterday.

You were running late, I had cooked dinner and was waiting for you to arrive, so I phoned you to ask when you would be coming home. You said you were stuck in traffic, which was typical for this new, big city we had moved to, and before you ended the call you told me you loved me.

Since I had left to terminate my status as an angel, I had managed to successfully convince the divine beings that I had no use for my immortality, and return home to you. Shifting through the worlds was costly on my mind and body, but when I came home and saw the look of pure relief and tears on your face at my safety, it was all worth it.

Now that I was a regular human and no longer had five-foot long wings sprouting from my back, I could go out in public for the first time in years. The first place you took me was your parents house, where after all these years you could finally introduce me as your boyfriend. Your parents were so lovely, and after we visited them we went to the beach. I’d never seen one before and didn’t know how to swim because we had nothing like this where I was from, but it was one of the best days of my life.

That was almost a year ago now. I didn’t get to tell you I loved you this morning since I had to leave for work so early, but that was common. My new job as a teacher meant we could afford to move out of our one bedroom apartment to the bright lights of the big city, and finally settle down in our new life together. It seems so long ago since you first said “I love you”, and truthfully, it is, but my love for you has only grown with years gone by.

I’m writing this letter for you because I don’t think I can verbally explain how much you mean to me. No part of me doubts the fact I wouldn’t be alive today if it wasn’t for you stumbling across me all those years ago. I’m on my break at work as I’m writing this letter, and I can’t help but feel like my pocket is a little too heavy. I picked out an engagement ring for you last week, and I plan to give it to you right after I give you this letter.

No matter how many times I tell you, my words will not be able to convey just how much I love you - but hopefully this ring will.

Yours, forever and always,

Jeno ♡

#neowritingsnet #cznnet #nct-writers #dreamwritersnet #nct #nct dream #jeno #lee jeno #nct jeno #jeno nct #jeno nct dream #jeno x reader #jeno imagine #jeno scenario #supernatural nct

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yongiefilms · 3 years

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FILM | Together Alone

BASED ON | The NCT secret santa collaboration feature done by bumblebeenct and lucaswithnoshirt studios over @neoculturechristmas headquarters

DEDICATED TO | My own precious secret santa, @sly-merlin! This one is for you my love. I hope I did you justice for the type of fic you requested and I hope you like it! By the way I apologize for getting your present to you late.

STARRING | Huang Renjun and Female Reader

FEATURING | Lee Donghyuck

GENRE | Romance, Drama, Angst, Fluff, Business centred, and Holiday centred

RATING | PG-13

WARNINGS | Thematic elements, suggestive references and implications, crude humor, language, mentions of death, a deceased parent, drinking, alcohol, and other adult themes

PLOT | Everyone knew him. The heir to the multimillion dollar company. Next in line to inherit the top pharmaceutical business in all of China and South Korea. For being only 20 years old he was the most accomplished person of his age. Set to become the CEO at age 21 on his birthday, nearly a few months away, there was nothing that could deter him down the road for further success. They say he’s envied by most, yet loved all the same. If only people knew who Huang Renjun really was without his family’s name plastered against the walls of society that gave him fame and fortune. Only one would have the chance to find out the truth of his reality and sometimes when that comes near the end of a year shutting close, not everything can end pleasant like one hoped. OR Happy endings might not exist in this messed up world.

RUNNING TIME | 6.4k

DIRECTOR’S NOTE | Happy Holidays, my loves! This work is in honor of you all and the amazing year you all gave me with your immense love as well as support. I appreciate every single one of you more than you will ever know so I wish happy days among you this season and new year. I love you and please enjoy! Also, shout out to my lovely proofreader, @dvrlingrenjun, you’re the best.

1, 2, 3 Now Rolling...

“Fuck them all!” Huang Renjun yells out in frustration, leaning back abruptly in his black cushioned chair, his hands clutching tightly at his dark strands of hair.

The younger boy smirks at him, leaning against the pillar by his office. “Wouldn’t you like that?”

A glare was sent in his direction in retaliation. “Shut up, Donghyuck.”

“Sure, big guy,” he dismisses, the jab made at the older visible with the way his words cut through the air. “Still doesn’t render the fact that you have to go to this event like you always do.”

Renjun groans, his right hand going around his left wrist to play with the gold Cartier bracelet that rested there. A gift given to him when he turned the legal age of eighteen a few years ago. A gift given to him by his father, on behalf of his mother or so it was said. One that was a promise of luxury and achievement if he continued down the path they set out for him. His decision then when he was an adult to decide his fate, but that was only a lie. The bracelet was only a bribe for a materialistic life where he could be well off and if he stepped away then he would be stripped of everything that made him who he was.

“I know, okay? We do it every year but that still doesn't take away from the fact that I hate it. I hate all of it.”

Perhaps his father was a part of that.

“Well,” Donghyuck drawls, shrugging his shoulders when he lifts his body off the pillar to take long strides in order to reach the other boy. “At least it’s out of town this year so I’m down...I mean free vacation.” He gives a toothy grin, his eyes sparkling of juvenescence and a thrill for adventure, mystery, excitement. At least one of them still had a childlike soul and a more or less normal life while the other was forced to grow up too fast in the spotlight where eyes were scrutinizing his every move before he could even walk.

They called it maturity, but Renjun calls it loss of youth.

“You’re such a freeloader,” Renjun mutters, his hands stopping from playing with the bracelet to glance up in exasperation.

“Says the boy inheriting an almost billion dollar company without batting an eye,” Donghyuck snorts with an eye roll, picking at his nails that now gained all of his attentiveness.

It was true after all.

Renjun laughs in mockery. “You’re just jealous, so I wouldn’t be talking if I were you.”

Donghyuck sighs loudly for effect. “Cous, I wouldn’t want your life even if I tried. Some horrifying shit.” He shakes his head, obviously disturbed by the notion.

Renjun’s voice becomes small, yet firm. “It isn’t that bad...”

Donghyuck finally stops twiddling with his fingers to give the other the time of day with a look of obvious reluctance. “Uncle is scary, can you blame me?”

“Guess not, that man is my father.”

“Exactly and as much as I would love to continue this conversation,” Donghyuck glances at his crisp navy steel Bulgari watch, seeing the time half past noon. “I got to run, meeting with the boys soon and I just needed to deliver the message before that. Little pit stop if you will.” His hands flair out in a theatrical motion as if he were giving a bow.

“Oh?” Renjun raises an eyebrow, hands reaching out to get started on the stack of papers placed at the edge of his desk by his receptionist before Donghyuck’s surprised arrival. “Say hi to them for me.” He pauses in afterthought, knowing the younger’s antics. “Or not.”

Donghyuck’s boisterous laugh rings. He knew him so well. “Very funny, but oh, wait!”

The increase in his tone attracts the older’s regard who was beginning to read through the proposal. “Yes?”

“Here,” Donghyuck states, reaching into the back pocket of his chinos to pull out a small black velvet box with gold edging. “An early present of sorts. I assumed you might like it.” He slides the box over on the desk where it is caught in the grasp of delicate hands.

“Proposing are we? You know we are related right?” Renjun smiles snidely, running his fingers over the soft velvet in wonder. It was rare to get a gift from Lee Donghyuck himself and with the right intentions at that.

“It would be an honor and privilege to marry me, thank you, but no it’s just...open it when I leave. I’m not into that sappy shit as you know. I have a matching one too, but yeah merry early Christmas and New Years.” His easy grin widens as he winks to take backward steps to the exit of the office. Always one for a dramatic flare.

“Matching...we can’t be a couple either, Hyuck,” Renjun says, shaking his head while he puts the box down on his desk in wait.

Donghyuck flips him off and grits out a reply. “Shut up and be grateful for once.”

Turning his head back to his papers, he mutters, “Oh, I am.”

“Anyways, bye you fucker. Don’t drown in work,” Donghyuck lets out once he turns his back.

“Thank you for caring, delivery boy,” Renjun shouts as his cousin finally opens the door to exit after his much longer than anticipated stay.

Donghyuck’s hands still on the silver knob before he can fully push the door. “When don’t I? If you’re gone then that means I would have to inherit the company and as much as I would love the money, the fame, the attention, maybe even the girls...I don’t want that responsibility. You get me?”

Renjun rolls his eyes, spinning the black ballpoint pen between his index and ring finger. “Just say you’re lazy and go.”

“I am going!” Donghyuck exclaims while he turns his head over his shoulder, shooting the boy sitting at the desk that didn’t quite fit him well, another wink. “Bye for real, Junnie!”

The door at last closes and he is gone in a blur of colors.

Renjun mumbles under his breath. “I told you not to call me that.”

His mother used to call him that and she didn’t have the chance to stay long in this world. Taken too soon is what they say, but maybe she was blessed before everything turned to stone.

With Donghyuck’s departure, Renjun looks over at the lone box that was gifted to him, perhaps not a gift like the others that held no meaning, for this one was an outlier in the equation. Donghyuck never gave without meaning or gain so it had to be special.

He places his pen down and picks up the box, undoing the clasp that held it close. The box opens to a sight he has gotten used to, yet there was a disparity. In between the cushion of the velvet laid a beautiful silver Chopard ring. The band was simple in design, yet intricate with the signature ice cubes filled with small sparkling diamonds across the entire width. Renjun handles the ring with care once it is taken out of the box to inspect every detail. Not only was the brand engraved in stunning cursive on the inside, but Donghyuck had gotten the ring customized with the word family in the same writing on the opposite side of the inner circle.

Renjun runs his fingers over the engraving, the words rough under his calloused hands. He hums in thought as he slips the ring on his middle finger, the radiance seeping in from the windows catching the precious metal. “Family...family...I haven’t had one in a long time.”

The truth is he had, has, but he was too blind to see.

Family is not just those that are immediate, composing of a father and mother or even siblings. Family can also entail the greater extent from cousins to aunts to grandparents. Family can even be those that are not blood related like the friends a person surrounds themselves by.

Renjun has family. If only he could acknowledge them before they too left him utterly alone.

Alone was something Renjun was not for the days to come.

A week later after his cousin delivered the news about the annual holiday vacation and company sponsored events that his family has been hosting since his late teen years, he was flown in a private plane against his will to a remote town near Busan, far off from the heart of Seoul. He would rather spend the holidays in the city where he grew up like all those past seasons ago, but his father decided there was a need for change, a mirror of one forthcoming in virtually three months. Usually those that made the trip came for the designated three days they were given which still involved work communications with scant room for relaxation depending on the schedules of selected individuals. However, if one was a Huang, which Renjun was the only one left along with his father that were at least part of the business, then departure and stay differed. Intermingled was the Huang winter vacation with that of business affairs, a factor that was born when the tradition started. His father always said to kill two birds with one stone when given the chance and this very situation was one he took hold of to morph into a personal gain.

Nothing was ever as it seemed with his father, nor himself. One characteristic they shared among a hundred to a thousand polarities.

Albeit this time around, Renjun had fought against his father’s wants, which was not the first instance, but was one that ended in surprising success. Success he tasted on the daily, even if all was bitter with no room for happiness. However, this success was sweet with contentment, ending with an awfully horrid aftertaste. Convincing his father to fly him out along with the others on the 23rd of December instead of the 20th was a victory no less. At least he didn’t have to spend unwanted days in the presence of his old man longer than necessary.

He arrives in wealth and social standing like he always did for once his black A.Testoni dress shoes hit the white tiled floor of the airport’s general aviation ramp building, everyone within his general vicinity, even those afar, are taking heed to his every need, that as of now are limited.

A slightly older woman who he deems as his assistant, comes into view, her black Prada heels clicking loudly against the tile as she advances with a clipboard and her trusty cell in her hands to the boy. She cheerful speaks into the empty building, her smile unwavering. “Mr. Huang, I am glad you had a safe flight. I printed your itinerary for the next couple of days that I will hand to you once we are in the limo. Considering it is…” She glances at her Apple Watch Series 6 to check the time. “Two forty three as of now, we can drop off your luggage at the Lodge and get you settled into your room before your three fifteen lunch with Mr. Kim and his wife at the Yongsusan Café. You will be with them for an hour before the rest of the afternoon is yours to spend productively. Then at six o’clock the maids and stylists will come by to get you ready for the business meeting at seven thirty, following with a small dinner party with those same individuals, including their wives and children. Sounds good?”

Renjun does not even have time to reply before his assistant speaks again.

“Yes, okay! Let’s get going then.” She turns on her heel abruptly, yet with expertise without room for error and begins taking steps away from the plane to the left. “The limo should be this way, follow me while your luggage gets loaded. The drive should not take more than ten minutes.”

He has no choice but to accompany her as he would not be able to make a run for it, he will be caught within seconds. He tried once and that was only one failure amongst little to none in his book.

His strides are slow and lousy as if he had all the time in the world to do as he pleased, when he in fact did not, far from it in actuality. Even so before he knows it he reaches the limo and is lurched forward in motion towards his destination for the next few days. The place his dad selected oozes with sumptuous intent, being a gorgeous mid-century modern wooden lodge that nearly looked like a manor upon inspection. As the limo pulls up to the front, Renjun is able to see the beauty up close that he is entranced by even if he seems unfazed. New places and people excite him more than he lets on for his life is dull, lacking fulfillment of an unknown tomorrow.

The porter, who is situated in patience by the front doors, strides forward to open the door of the limo, permitting Renjun to step out with the authority and grace bestowed upon him.

When he crosses the threshold into the Lodge he is met with an even better interior that rivaled that on the outside, but he is not allowed to ponder too much on the design before the head manager greets him.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Huang, it is certainly a pleasure for you to stay with us at the Lodge this fine holiday season. I am Gwan Jang-Mi and I will be showing you to your room today along with giving you a small tour of this place in order to familiarize yourself with the setting. If you look here to your left…”

Her speech is drowned out into obscurity as Renjun’s awareness shifts to another woman, one so stunning that he is surprised he did not take notice sooner. When sauntering through the entryway into the resting room that will be cleared out in the next couple of hours, a bar is situated to the left where you stand, arranging countless bottles of liquor to wine on the counter, no doubt for the little party later or for the meeting. Those men were heavy drinkers and needed alcohol to make it through the rest of the evening. Renjun did drink to drown his sorrows, worry, and anxiousness away, but he was not one to throw himself down a spiraling hole of darkness nor chaos that he could not get out of, for those consequences were ones he did not want to reap.

The soft sunlight peaks through the high guarded windows, shining down on your face that enunciates your features. For simply being in a black polo and khaki pants, you made it work and drew all attention to yourself without even knowing the power you held.

The moment of admiration comes to a close when Renjun is ushered away from the ground floor to make way to his room in the upper levels, leaving you behind.

Yet that would not be the last time.

Time goes by slowly when there is no purpose, no meaning to the daily workings of one person in the masses of others. Renjun has experience in that regard, time always goes by slowly for him and exhausts him a great deal like a rotary clock that seeks no end.

He was worn out by the time he got back to the Lodge in the early evening due to the stay with the Kims went longer than necessary and he was called elsewhere upon emergency to discuss future matters. He did not have time for himself like his assistant had plainly made known so there he was, collapsed head first into his silk covers, ten minutes to six.

Instead of taking a long awaited nap he is ushered up and into more formal wear after a cleanse from the bustle of bodies that barge into his room.

No privacy. No sense of normality.

That is the normal.

The next few hours go by in blur from him sitting in front of a mirror to have his hair styled to sitting in front of burly old men that were associates and inventors of the company in a grad meeting room with locked doors and the finest assortment of liquor that money can buy.

He is out of the confines in no time, not even bothering to say one final hurrah before he lurches himself out the door and into the now cleared out resting room. One of the servers comes by then dressed in all black attire that was nothing of the typical black and white uniform, edging towards a usual guest. Renjun snatches a glass of sparkling champagne and gulps it down in one go off their silver platter, discreetly of course, for he has to look composed—sober throughout the entire affair. He always could hold his alcohol without a problem and he felt blessed to have that advantage. One thing he is proud of.

He is whisked away not even moments after by one of the older investors, Mr. Han, to moreover chew over the end of the year budget and his stance on future decisions to be made in the new year. From the corner of his eye while listening to the man talk in a flamboyant manner, he sees his father standing with a glass of white wine happily talking to another investor, a more influential one, the most influential one of them all and his wife along with their daughter who was not even carefully surveying the room in search of someone.

Renjun’s eyes widen in shock, mumbling under his breath, “Shit.”

Mr. Han stops the flow of words out his mouth, his eyebrows rumpling together. He did not hear the swear word the boy uttered, yet he heard something in passing. “Pardon?”

Renjun shakes his head vaguely, bringing his third glass of champagne in the air as a sign of departure. “Ah excuse me, Mr. Han, but it seems I have been beckoned elsewhere.” His eyes shift over to his father who was not making direct eye contact with him, but Mr. Han did not need to know that little detail as he observes Renjun’s line of sight.

Mr. Han chuckles brightly. “I see, well I must not keep you from your father.”

Renjun smiles. “No, you must not, but we shall continue this conversation later, Mr. Han. I am sure you have much more to say and I will happily discuss further with you.”

Mr. Han waves his hand in the air nonchalantly. “We shall. Now off you go.”

Renjun nods his head, his lips still quirked up in a smile, this one more genuine than the last, as he makes a beeline towards his father to make everything seem more believable. Though once he no longer feels the eyes of Mr. Han on his retreating back he switches routes, going to the left rather than straight ahead. He circles around the opposite side, catching a stark mop of washed out red hair amongst the crowd in the process—Donghyuck. His cousin is not alone, however, talking rather freely with a girl he could not quite see in his peripheral vision. The grin on Donghyuck’s face is undeniable even with his back turned and the way Renjun hears the tiny giggles you are emitting, all is too familiar, which is the perfect cause for a disruption.

Renjun does not acknowledge his cousin when he arrives at the bar, the younger boy too immersed in conversation so he signals for the other worker that comes becking to his call.

“A Negroni, on the rocks.”

The girl nods in understanding and turns to prepare the drink while Donghyuck still has not noticed his presence. The younger boy always did focus on what was in front of him rather than on his surroundings, contrary to his cousin that saw the whole picture. Two contrasting people surely with unlike futures ahead of them.

The frosted glass with the reddish-orange liquid and topped with orange shavings is served to him a minute later, placed in front of him on a matching glass coaster.

He clears his throat loudly in an attempt to catch Donghyuck’s attention. “Thank you.”

A method that proves effective since the younger boy finally turns his head to the right to see Renjun sitting on the barstool next to him, sipping casually on his high class Negroni.

His eyes are wide, but he masks his shock with a subtle smirk. “Jun! Well, well, if it isn’t the mini man himself. How long have you been sitting there?”

Renjun snorts into his glass, shaking his head at the dig Donghyuck made at his height, always one out for blood. “Far too long to have noticed your flirting from across the room, Hyuck.” It is now his turn to smirk, but Donghyuck’s own is still unfaltering.

“I take pride in my skills, glad you gave your time of day to notice.” He elevates his glass up then, filled most likely with a Nicolashka, his favorite holiday drink to date, and takes a sip himself, a move Renjun mimics.

Then your voice interrupts. “Sorry to cut in, but I have to get back to work. You’ve been distracting me for the last ten minutes, mister.” Your stern gaze is directed at Donghyuck from the latter statement. Although once your words are uttered, Renjun focuses his eyes on you, scrutinizing your appearance. The very girl he saw earlier today, the girl Donghyuck so happened to have a chance with before him—you.

Donghyuck laughs, the smirk morphing into a shiteating grin. “I told you, call me Hyuck.”

“Well, Hyuck, I have to get back to work...plus I am sure you want to talk to your friend.” Your gaze flickers to Renjun in that instance and lingers there longer than necessary that has him laughing to himself.

Donghyuck’s charm only goes so far.

The younger boy peers at Renjun when you utter out friend, and he smiles small in remorse. “Sadly, but do not let me keep you from your work.”

You turn your back on him, your eyes catching Renjun’s in the process before you look away from the intensity of the dark orbs. “I wasn’t planning on it.”

You leave the bar area then most likely to put on an apron that Renjun noticed you had not worn throughout the entire duration. Donghyuck simply distracted you before the start of your shift and after, not a good trait to inherit.

Donghyuck hums, but let’s the remark go as he fully turns to Renjun to start up that conversation.

He raises an eyebrow. “Must you always keep me from having fun?”

Renjun shrugs his shoulders, swishing the liquid in his glass. “Not always, but I was saving that girl from misery. You should be thankful that I care enough.”

Donghyuck taunts. “Oh wow I feel so special.”

Renjun sternly eyes him, his voice lowering. “You should.”

Donghyuck’s lips open to retort a response, but no words are spoken on his end for his eyes look over the older boy’s shoulders and he catches sight of someone none of them truly like or have liked after the incident. He sees her.

“Well fuck, here comes the devil,” is all he makes out and the phrase enough has Renjun turning his own head hastily to see who he was watching. Such is when he sees his ex-girlfriend, Cha Yeona, prowling straight towards their way.

“I’m going to go...so good luck, mate. You’ll need it.” Donghyuck pats Renjun’s shoulder in departure and his gesture of sympathy, leaving him in the wake of a girl he really did not wish to see or converse with.

Once he leaves the bar in quick speed, you come in at that exact moment, your eyes zoning in on the way Yeona’s dainty hand latches onto Renjun’s forearm in greeting. You turn away from the image, busying yourself with wiping down the glasses.

“Oh! What a lovely surprise,” Yeona voices, letting her hand maneuver down to place on top of Renjun’s hand in which she gives him a faint squeeze thereof. He flinches from the contact, retracting his hand to slip into the pocket of his Burberry blazer while the other rims his glass.

He peers at her intently, a potency that has her giggling nervously. His looks could kill whenever he was serious with a blank face and austere hollows of eyes. “Hello, Yeona.”

She sits down gracefully on the stool next to him, crossing her long unblemished legs over each other, her hands placed in her lap. Her smile is bright and makes him want to pull out his hair. She was always two-faced. “Hi Jun Jun! How have you been?”

He lets the pet name go, but does not glance at her again, looking over her head at the white lights strung outside. “Good.”

Silence engulfs them that has her fidgeting out of discomfort. He evidently did not want to talk. She reaches her hand out to touch him once more that has him leaning away. She sighs in defeat, retreating from the gesture. She would have to reach him some other way. “Well...I—”

He cuts her off from continuing, drowning the last contents of his drink before he pushes the glass away towards the server at the end of the counter. He puts a hand up. “Save it. I have no reason to talk to you again. Leave.”

He arches his eyebrow when he sees she makes no move to leave and he chuckles darkly. “Do I have to tell you again? Or should I have security escort you out?”

She flinches from the tone of his voice and gulps, her throat becoming exceptionally dry. She hurriedly stands up, almost ripping over her heels and departs without a goodbye, not that he wished to get one from her. Her slim body covered in a blood red dress slips into the crowd and Renjun finally releases the breath he was holding.

He tugs at the strands of his gelled back hair. “Fucking bitch,” he mutters, lifting a finger in the air to signal for another drink that the server speedily moves to make.

“A little harsh, don’t you think?”

Renjun lifts his eyes to see you gaping at him, an eyebrow uplifted in fascination as you finally were in your uniform, a white cloth draped over your shoulders. Renjun runs his hand through his hair and scoffs from the remark thereafter. He was sure the stylists would be upset to see him dishevel their mighty work, but he could care less.

He shakes his head, the strands of hair rustling. “No, I think not. She deserves it.”

“Wow. Again, harsh.” You laugh mockingly and grab his drink that was slid over by your coworker to clean the glass again. You place the beverage down on the coaster which he takes with pleasure, muttering a small thank you that you can barely hear amidst the classical music playing in the background. Your hands make contact for a split second that has tingles erupting on your end, in a rather cliche response, yet he made no move of the feeling.

There is quietness again that makes you flustered since you were never one to enjoy the muted scenery, always wanting a sound ringing in your ears. While Renjun enjoyed the still, always wanting a sound that faded in the wind and never made a comeback appearance.

In a desperate attempt to keep conversation while making yourself busy by fixing up the bottles of alcohol, you propose a question that invades his privacy, whilst he never had privacy to begin with, a factor you were left in the dark about.

“So...um...your girlfriend?” You ask, in regards to Yeona that left some minutes ago.

Renjun snorts, placing down his glass and interlocks his hand to rest his chin on, a move to focus solely on you. “Right. She’s my ex-girlfriend actually so you’re not entirely wrong.”

You mumble out a quiet, “Oh.” It was not your business to know his affairs after all, yet there was a voice nagging within that made you curious to find out every part of him.

The tranquility hugs the both of you once more, until he questions you out of the blue.

“You want to get out of here?”

To say you are shocked is an understatement, since you are in fact bamboozled beyond belief. He says the declaration with so much firmness and certainty, it has your heart twisting on the inside.

You lightly laugh to mask the shock and turn around to really look at him, a look that he reciprocates. “I don’t even know you.”

A keen smile is visible on his lips. “Exactly the point. You have nothing to lose.”

You shake your head, leaning against the counter of the bar to stare into his eyes that look so lifeless, yet beautiful. “Maybe, but this is my job. I can’t just bail.”

He leans his head closer to you, an act that allows you to a whiff of the Christian Dior Ambre Nuit cologne he wears and his minty fresh breath. “Of course you can.” His soothing voice turns teasing as he smirks. “Don’t worry I won’t tell.”

You scoff to yourself, surprised by his mannerisms of outforwardness. You look around then to see if anyone is watching the two of you, but all eyes are elsewhere and you let out a sigh of relief. Another girl comes into the bar when you glance to the side, most likely to cover the next shift that was not yours quite yet, be that as it may you did have a break coming up.

Renjun outstretches his hand in patience, his smirk slowly growing, even if it was borderlining a smile that you could see right through. He hums in anticipation and you give in.

“Okay fine, but not for too long,” you say as you rest your hand in his. The cold of your fingers meet his warm ones and you latch on for dear life, afraid to let go.

He grins at you and squeezes your hand. “No promises.”

Then he proceeds to drag you out of the bar, tugging you to who knows where. The tingle of a secret keeps you on your toes and you become giddy, laughing along the halls as he steers you left, right, straight, left, right, up...a never ending cycle of adventure.

“Where exactly are you taking me?” You ask after gaining the courage. He is intimidating in some regards, the thought of how he acted towards his ex-girlfriend as visible as day in your mind.

He shrugs, finally slowing down. “Who knows. Could be outside in the cold or near a fireplace in the warm. You will just have to see.”

“That certainly gives me no direction at all.”

He turns his head to look at you and stops suddenly, having you nearly crash into his back before he tugs you to the other side. He chuckles when he sees your horrified face from almost busting your nose. “That was the point, darling.”

You huff in annoyance when he continues walking, the pressure of his fingers around your own feels heavier as time drags on and your heart has no sense of calm, constricting with the name of endearment that slipped past his slim lips.

“Okay, we are here!” He announces and lets go of your hand, the bareness of his heat leaving you shivering. You take a step back from planting your feet firmly on the floor and glance around the room in which he stopped. It was one of the upper level rooms with strict access only to the most wealthy of the associates and investors. His family must be one of those highly regarded, if only you knew how highly regarded his family is, being the ones with the most status, the most affluent lifestyle. However, you would remain clueless.

“Oh, wow. The view up here is amazing.”

Renjun laughs, placing his hands in the front pocket of his slacks as he strolls around the room, glancing at the glowing fire that was left on and the books that were sealed shut. “Trust me, I am well aware. Why do you think I brought you up here?” He gives you an exasperated stare, peering past at the giant window you stood in front of that showcased the whole town, now covered in sleek white snow. It must have snowed while he was conversing with others at the party for when he arrived at the meeting hours ago, the land was void.

The white flakes are still falling outside, delicately covering everything in one uniform color that leaves you in awe and he is left admiring you, how at peace you are. How free you look, an emotion he never held onto in his entire life.

“So besides admiring this view, what are we doing up here?” You ask, your fingertips grazing the cool frosted glass of the window, seeing beyond to the endless landscape and twinkling stars along with lights of the houses nearby.

Renjun answers bluntly. “Admiring the view.”

You can’t stop the titters from escaping you and you roll your eyes, an action he sees through the reflection.

He steps forward, coming up besides your figure to look more clearly at the breathtaking scenery of a winter wonderland. “No, I’m joking...at least partially.”

You giggle some more, interlocking your hands in front of you. “I didn’t know you had it in you to joke.”

It is now his turn to laugh. “Darling, I have a lot in me that you don’t know.”

You sigh solemnly, taking a step back to turn around, examining the other objects around the room. “Oh, I’m sure.”

He is an enigma waiting to be unraveled, but you would not be the one to solve his case and that alone is an idea that scares you.

Before you can get farther away, his hand wraps around your wrist, preventing you from escape. You peer down at his hand then up to his eyes, your eyebrows scrunching together in perplexity.

He does not speak, only drags you into him to where you are now chest to chest, only an inch of distance between your bodies. The closeness between the two of you leaves you breathless and gasping for air. His thumb carrasses your arm and runs down to the palm of your hand, enveloping his fingers around your skin. Your eyes are trailing the movements and you take a sharp intake of breath, curious as to what can happen next. He hooks his other free index finger under your chin to lift your face up so he can see you in distinct luminosity.

You have gazed at his eyes practically all evening, but nothing has prepared you for seeing him up close. He is even more handsome in full definition from the lines on his soft pink lips to his perfectly tousled hair.

“You’re beautiful,” he mutters, his thumb running along your cupid’s bow. “Absolutely and breathtakingly beautiful.”

You gulp, the words drying up in your throat for what could you say to his compliment?

Then everything happens at once.

His hand moves to wrap around the back of your head and he tugs you closer by the other until you are pressed up against each other. He lightly pushes your head forward and contact is made.

Lips against lips. Moving and moving against each other, taking all your breath away for the second time within a span of a few seconds.

He lets go of holding your hand and wraps his arm around your waist, to pull you closer if such is even possible. To make the contact more tender and desirable.

You suppose desire is that which allows the moment to escalate further. From a mere innocent kiss to a fiery passion of craving for more.

When your lips separate, he does not think twice before grabbing your hand once more and dragging you down the long corridor to arrive at his secluded room around the corner.

He opens the door with haste as you come tumbling in after him, grabbing, pulling, tugging until all that is left is just you and him.

The frantic beats of two hearts.

The heat of skin pressed against skin.

Simply two bodies that became one all due to the desire floating around the room and pushing you to the limit.

You lost yourself in him that night and he in you.

Lost to the pure ecstasy of pleasure during the season of joy and love.

Yet the season could also be one for giving and taking.

You wake to a cold bed the next morning.

Gone is the warmth of a boy who made you feel like you were on top of the world, someone special enough to demand notice and have anything that is asked for.

Gone is the sweet nothings he whispered in your ear, the words of assurance, comfort, and false love that made you feel worth it and simply protected.

Gone is the long lingering touches of his fingers pressing into you and dancing along the lines of your body to explore and learn.

Gone is the feeling of his lips on your skin that was enough to ignite you ablaze and leave you seeing all the colors of the rainbow.

Gone is he—Huang Renjun.

All that remains of the remembrance from the night is the note he left by the oak bedside table, one that crushed the dream of longing and hope within. One that slapped you with the crude reality of who he truly was, is, in a place that you did not belong to and never would.

Thanks for last night, but it’s a one time thing. You can see yourself out. Happy holidays.

He signed the note with his initials, H.R. and his family’s embroidered seal.

Then you realize in that moment, your bare body covered in his silk covers in the large suite he had all to himself, that the holidays are not for everyone.

You can either be together with someone else or alone by yourself.

Never the two.

Always one or the other.

You had hoped to be together yet alone with him in privacy to make your own memories away from prying eyes, but at the end of the day you were by yourself and he was too.

That is how life works in this sick, twisted world.

Men against men. Women against women. Everyone against everyone.

Alone.

Never together.

Like he and you.

146 notes · View notes

whatifyoulivelikethat · 3 years

Text

selfie, m | jjk | 4

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: Is this a rom-com, slice-of-life drama with unsolicited social commentary about gender stereotypes, idol music, and the meaningless meaning of the word, “adult”? Yes. But also, Jeon Jungkook shouldn’t be in love with his hyung’s little sister and he is. Shit.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; mentions of depression, loneliness; so much fluff; loons-to-lovers; smut (dry humping, m-receiving oral, fingering); non-idol!AU - oppa’s bestfriend!Jungkook x SHINee fangirl!reader; Jungkook liked being called ‘oppa’ even though technically he’s not???

–

previous episode.

3. in which jeon jungkook is probably going to die because he touched his hyung’s little sister, even though she touched him first – older brothers don’t care about that.

Silence.

"You're not letting go," Jungkook whispered softly.

You made eye contact with him.

"No."

You leaned in.

"I'm not."

You kissed him.

Jungkook's eyes went even wider. He had soft lips, slightly over-bitten. He tasted a little like banana milk and chocolate. He smelled of fabric softener. Sweet, gentle, just like him. It was a long, but simple kiss.

You backed up, smiling.

Jungkook blinked rapidly, trying to digest what just happened. He looked from you, to the coffee table, to your phone, to the picture of him, then back to you.

"What about Lee Taemin?" he croaked, still in shock.

You burst into a fit of giggles, clapping a hand over your mouth, squinting hard with your shoulders shaking. Jungkook watched with wide eyes as you leaned against the sofa, shaking your head, your laughing fit dying down.

"Let's be honest, Jungkook, I'm never going to date Lee Taemin and he's probably already dating and hiding it from SM Entertainment," you chortled.

"But... what if it happens?"

You placed an elbow in the sofa and rested your head on your hand. "If that happens, I guess I'll just have to go chase my dreams."

Jungkook glared at you. "As if I would ever let you. You can't outrun me."

"I'll use wit. You only have two brain cells anyway."

Jungkook rolled his eyes. A familiar gesture.

"Ah, is that why you want me around?" You scooted up to him and nudged his arm, leaning against his shoulder. "So your two brain cells and my five billion brain cells can work together?"

Jungkook gave you a disapproving look. "Yes, of course, that's the only reason and definitely not because you're hot as hell."

You raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't describe myself as hot. Maybe cute."

He raised an eyebrow back and looked further down. At your skirt and legs. You smacked his head and he didn't move.

"Hello, I have a face."

"Yeah, but your face doesn't make my dick hard."

You snorted and shoved him. His hand shot out and grabbed your aqua sweatshirt, making you squeak and tumble, falling into his lap. Your knee brushed past his crotch, and Jungkook released your sweatshirt immediately, planting a hand on the hardwood floor behind him so he didn't fall over, one shoulder leaning against the couch.

Alarm bells rang immediately. Your face heated and your head sprang up, glaring at him.

"You touched me!" you accused.

"Actually, no, I only grabbed your sweatshirt for leverage. I didn't touch you directly," Jungkook pointed out.

"I-I'm in your lap!"

"You shoved me and lost balance. That's all you."

A vein popped in your forehead.

"Also," Jungkook continued, pointing down. "Were you aiming so I wouldn't be able to have children anymore or what?"

"Maybe," you snapped, hiking your knee up threateningly.

Both of you froze.

Jungkook's eyes were huge. You could see the reflection of your own face in his clear brown orbs. Your eyes were also enormous. It suddenly occurred to both of you that you were pressing your bare thigh into Jungkook's jean-covered cock and balls.

And he definitely wasn't limp.

You suddenly felt your panties soak at your close proximity to Jeon Jungkook.

"... Um."

Both of you uttered it at the same time and both of you shut your mouths.

Was this the plan? What was the plan? Was there a plan? How did this happen? Was this real life? Why are you putting your hands on Jungkook's shoulders and why are your elbows bending and why was his face getting closer? Hello? Brain? Some help?

You pressed your lips to his, kissing him deeply, shivering into his body. Hands trailing down his shoulders, rubbing his upper arms, working his lips with yours, taking his hands, placing them on your waist. He gasped softly, eyes darkening and glazing over.

"Hyung's gonna murder me..." he mumbled.

"Guess you better get at least one fuck in before you die," you breathed back, kissing him again, tongue tracing his lips.

"You're not gonna protect me?" Jungkook chuckled, tone implying that you couldn't anyway, his hands kneading your waist.

"You and I both know oppa is a shrewd man."

You heard Jungkook's breathing sharpen under you as your exhale drifted over his skin. You tilted your head, pressing your thigh into his erection. You could feel it throb even through his black jeans.

"That's a nice way of saying he's wrathful," Jungkook muttered shakily. He was trying to divert your attention from something. You could tell by the shift in his eyes. You stared into them, puzzling your words together in your head to find the one that affected him. Something clicked.

"Oppa."

Jungkook sucked in a tight breath and stared back at you, cock jerking in his jeans, fingers tightening around your waist. You pressed your chest against his, too much fabric between you and him. The world was hot, too hot, but for some reason you wanted to stay in this heat, stroking the flame between you and him. You lowered your eyelashes, not breaking eye contact.

"You're not older than me, Jungkook."

His pupils were so dilated that his eyes seemed black.

"I know that."

A little guilt and a whole lot of desire.

"That's why I like it."

Your lips brushed against his, a soft moan.

"Oppa."

His fingers slid down, underneath the hem of your sweatshirt. “Say it again,” he groaned. “Please say it again.”

You sat down on his thigh and he gasped, your tongue licking his lips lightly. Ground your hips on it, moaning as your soaking clothed core rubbed against the stiff fabric, heating the hard muscle underneath. In between kisses, fingers gripping his blue sweater tightly, his own drumming against your waist, skimming your skin.

“Jungkook-oppa…”

“Fuck…” He grabbed your waist and pulled you, sliding you down his leg to his crotch, his clothed cock against your bare thigh, your panties at the base of his jean-covered one. “It’s so sexy, you know that? So fucking sexy when you say it to me,” he murmured.

You lifted your skirt so it wasn’t in the way as you stimulated yourself against his thigh, rubbing yours against his crotch. “That’s because I’m not supposed to,” you chuckled.

“Just be born after me so it can be valid.”

You tutted. “Mmm-hmm, yes, that’s totally possible.”

Jungkook narrowed his eyes and pulled his hands out of your sweatshirt. You frowned, but then suddenly felt them going up your skirt, squeezing your ass hard. You yelped, trying to move away but Jungkook held you in place, hips rising to meet yours. You bit your lip, eyes wide.

“Stop being a brat,” Jungkook hissed.

“You’re worse than me, you know.”

Jungkook tried to push you down again, but you were faster, yanking his sweater up.

“Ack!”

The sudden action made him lose grip and you slid back on his jeans, leaving a stripe of wetness down his thigh, shoving his blue sweater up, revealing his abs. He had worked out to define them and they certainly were defined. You lowered your head and his breathing hitched in anticipation. You paused right above his bellybutton, eyes flickering up to his.

“… W-What?” Jungkook stuttered.

You wicked you head. “Were you expecting something…” Piercing eye contact. You dropped the severity in your voice, adding a hint of neediness. Just to tease him. “Jungkook-oppa?”

Jungkook’s eyes turned into saucers.

Your warm, wet tongue extended, licking all the way up his abs.

“O-oh, fuck!”

You gripped the hem of his sweater, licking higher, kissing his chest all over, tugging it up and off his head. His black hair was a fluffy mess, and your ran your hands through it, kissing his collarbones and pecs. He still smelled like fabric softener, his skin taut and trembling.

“Oh, fuck… fuck, stop, stop, or this is gonna turn into s-sex, ahh…” Jungkook moaned, trailing off as his eyelids fluttered, pressing his chest into your lips.

“What’s wrong with it turning into sex?” you mused, circling your tongue around his nipple and sucking softly. Jungkook cried out, hands clenching into fists on the hardwood floor. You reached around his sides, holding onto his back as you switched nipples, pushing the hardened nub with the tip of your tongue. His head tipped back onto the sofa, his breath in quick pants, words all a ramble, don’t stop, oh, fuck, gasping as your nails dug into his back, that’s so nice, ugh, you’re so good, kissing him all over before going back to sucking gently, I can’t, fuck, tell me to touch you, I need to fucking touch you, please tell me to touch you, your lips murmuring his name against his skin.

You backed up, Jungkook puffing for breath, eyes slowly opening as you lifted your sweatshirt up and over your head, revealing your pink polka-dotted bra. Jungkook’s eyes went round, the muscles on his chest tensing as he swallowed hard.

“You’re going to be the death of me.”

You lifted yourself close to him, chest right in front of his face. He stared at you, mildly terrified.

“If hyung finds out, I’m actually going to die, for real.”

You shrugged. “Probably.”

One hand behind you, the other reaching around Jungkook’s head. You saw Jungkook’s brain trying to calculate what was going to happen, but then it happened way too fast, you unhooking your bra while at the same time shoving his face into your tits, dropping your hand behind his head to flick the straps off your shoulders, letting the bra fall into his lap and bounce away. Jungkook moaned, hands instantly coming up to knead your breasts, pressing them together to rub your nipples into his cheeks, eyelids fluttering at the sensation.

You bit your lip, nudging his face with your breasts, gasping softly. “Come on… Jungkook-oppa…”

Jungkook was done for, eyes opening hazily, pink tongue sliding out and licking your nipples feverishly. Your hands found his shoulders and you whined as the pleasure soared through you, Jungkook’s soft lips wrapping around your nipples and licking daintily.

“Mmm, Jungkook…”

He detached his lips from you, saliva dripping down.

“Tell what to do for you. I’ll do anything,” he whispered, kissing your breasts in between his words, squeezing them. “Anything you want, I’ll give it to you.”

His lips enclosed around your other nipple, sucking delicately. You chuckled, looking down at him.

“A million won?”

Jungkook grinned around your nipple, nicking you with his teeth. You bit your lower lip, grinning back. Fuck, he looked so sexy smiling like that, black strands curling around his dark eyes.

“Once I make a million won, I’ll give it to you,” he laughed.

“Nice. How long do I have to wait?”

He pressed your breasts together again and slurped from one nipple to the other, making you giggle and shudder at the strange sensation. “A long time, because the electronics store pays shit,” Jungkook muttered. “I deserve a raise, honestly.”

“Sure, you do.”

Jungkook narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Why does it seem like you don’t believe me?”

You smiled foxily. “Let’s get on the sofa.”

“Hmm…”

But he helped you up and pulled you on top of him, half-laying on the sofa. You pushed off him lightly, kissing down once again, hands finding his pants and undoing them, Jungkook gasping above you.

“W-Wait, I was supposed to do something for you…”

“Yeah, help me get this dick in my mouth, that’s what,” you grumbled, struggling with the zipper.

Jungkook batted at your hands, shooing you away. “You’re going to zip my dick off,” he muttered, lowering it himself and lifting his hips up to push his pants down.

“What, you’re that hard or something?” you pestered, watching him scuffle with his own jeans.

Jungkook grunted. “Kind of, your tits are just hanging out, you know?”

Before you could give him your smart remark, Jungkook forced his pants down and his hard cock sprang out, sticking straight up, thick veins standing out, head dark red and leaking pre-cum. In fact, there was a string of liquid that broke as he lowered his underwear, making Jungkook hiss as it snapped back against his hot length.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”

You pointed to it. “Can I put my mouth on it now?”

Jungkook looked exasperated. “Yes, please, go right ahea–oh, fuck!”

You closed your lips around the head, swirling your tongue around and around. It’d been a while since you had blown someone, but you still remembered those moments at drunk high school parties where you acted on your hormones and sober you was much better at head than drunk you. Not that it mattered, because Jungkook was so horny that even only stimulating the head with your lips and tongue had him moaning your name, throwing his head back against the armrest as you lowered your mouth, putting him deeper in your throat. You hadn’t had too much practice though, so you didn’t want to attempt all of it and choke horribly. Instead, you focused on what you had, hollowing out your cheeks and bobbing your head up and down, building a steady speed as you held onto his hips.

“Oh, shit, ahhh…” Jungkook whimpered, gripping the cushions so hard his knuckles were white. “That’s it, yes, please, fuck, your lips feel so fucking good…”

His cock throbbed, rubbing against the roof of your mouth and you furrowed your brow, wiggling your tongue along the length and Jungkook groaned, hips shaking in your hands. A little faster, a little harder, a small whine in your throat due to your efforts to push him to the edge.

“I’m gonna cum, gonna cum in your pretty mouth, fuck!”

Your eyes widened as he shot into your throat, spilling out and pooling onto your tongue, saltiness invading your taste buds. You hurriedly sucked hard, swallowing tightly, and Jungkook’s moan turned into a squeal, cock jolting and spilling out more. You gulped loud, the head squeezed by your throat as you drank it all, trying to not lose any of it. Jungkook shivered and grimaced.

“P-Please… it’s sensitive, be g-gentle…”

You lessened your hold on him and he sighed in relief, moaning again as you softly licked the head, cleaning him up. Lights small licks, finally able to enjoy the residual drips of his orgasm. A few moments later and you released him from your mouth, panting heavily, his taste still on your lips.

“Sorry,” you apologized. “Been a while. Also, that was a lot.”

Jungkook reached up and pushed his sweaty black hair back, exhaling hard. “Y-Yeah, well, you kind of choked it out of him in the middle there.”

You crawled up his chest, laying down on him. He smiled, kissing your forehead.

“So, do you want me to–”

You interrupted him by taking his hand and pulling it to you, down, underneath your skirt. Jungkook looked at you curiously as you shoved down your panties to your knees.

“I could eat you out, you know,” Jungkook finished. “I’m not opposed to doing it.”

“No, I want this hand,” you breathed. Your fingers traced his knuckles. “These fingers. In me.”

Jungkook’s fingers danced on the inside of your thigh. “Oh, in that case, how can I refuse you?” he purred, stroking your pussy with his middle finger, moaning softly. “So wet…”

You tilted your head closer to his lips. “Want you to kiss me while doing it.”

Jungkook smiled. “As you wish.”

And then his lips were on yours, hot and sensual, finger sliding into you easily, oh, fuck, you feel so nice, so tight and wet, tongue dancing with yours, one more, Jungkook, please, him obliging, lips gliding against each other, soft and hard at the same time, Jungkook’s fingers sliding in and out of you, slowly but firmly. You moaned into his mouth and he moaned back, longing and hunger in his tone, increasing the speed as you asked, always kissing you, his other arm curved around your back and holding you close as his fingers thrust into your sopping wet pussy, all the way to his knuckles, so good you were panting his name into his mouth, Jungkook-oppa, you’re making me feel so good, ah, yes, I love you, don’t you know, and he smiled against your lips, kissing you softly, taking your breath away as your name left his lips in a breathless groan.

“I love you too. So much. So very much. Too much, I think…”

Your lashes fluttered, smiling against his smile, kissing him in between his words. “So much you’re willing to risk death.”

Jungkook chuckled. “Yeah, of course.” He nudged you with his nose, changing the angle, making you gasp. “You gonna cum for me? Gonna cum for Jungkook-oppa?” he drawled into your ear. Your pussy clenched around his fingers at his deep voice, whimpering as he pushed you to the edge, closer and closer.

“A-ah, Jungkook… fuck, I’m gonna cum…”

His hand slid up and pushed your head back to his face. Eyes so dark and full of adoration.

“Kiss me.”

And you did, you kissed him and everything felt so good, like slipping into a summer’s night, blanketed by warm breeze and dark stars and pleasure flooding into you as Jungkook scissored his fingers and rubbed your clit with his thumb knuckle, his name a muffled wail from your lips that fell into his own throat as you came all over his hand, your juices gushing down and soaking his palm and wrist, smearing onto his stomach and part of your aqua skirt. You panted into his mouth, grinding onto his hand to extend the pleasure, pecking his lips as you came down, afterglow draping all over you.

You fell back against his shoulder, kissing his jaw, gasping as Jungkook pulled his fingers out. He licked them off slowly, moaning as he did so, savoring your taste.

“Jungkook…?”

“Hm?”

“I think you missed the last bus.”

“… Hah. Probably.”

You nuzzled his neck. “Do you want to sleep in oppa’s room or in my room?”

Jungkook wrapped his arms around you and poked your head with his nose playfully.

“Is that even a question?”

“JEON JUNGKOOK, I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!”

That was your older brother, early next morning.

Well, shit.

fin.

maspterpost

#jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook fanfic #jungkook scenarios #jjk #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you

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sytco · 3 years

Text

common blessings [joochan]

pairing: childhood friend!hong joochan x reader

word count: 3.5k (!)

requested: "toothrotting fluff ft. joochan"

dedicated to @sahiflowers.

a/n: im SO SO sorry this took so long and i hope u like it even a little and that it makes u smile thank u for being so patient ily!! ily!!! reminder im always here for u!!

In which you find that time is meaningless when Joochan is not by your side.

wonderboy.

Sometimes, you speculate whether Joochan has some kind of genius for finding you as soon as the school bell rings, signalling the end of another day.

Today, he surprises you behind the auditorium where you lean against a maple tree, hugging your bag to your chest, because you’ve skipped your last period (Introduction to Psychology) in favor of lying on the grass so you can watch the clouds in peace. And Joochan smiles a fond, fond smile because you have that look on your face again that you only get when you’re lost in thought.

“Missed me?”

You tense from shock before relaxing at the sight of your boyfriend who widens his arms so you can walk right into them.

“How’d you find me?” Your voice is muffled in the fabric of his vest and Joochan reaches up so he can play with the back of your collar.

“Just had a little hunch you might be here.” And this is the answer he always gives, accompanied with the same smug smile each time.

You pout even if Joochan can’t see it. “That doesn’t explain anything.”

“Well now,” he says in an affected voice that sounds like the narrator from that National Geographic documentary on penguins the two of you watched last week, “I can’t afford to have you getting your hands on all my secrets, can I? I’ve got to keep some things to myself so that in ten year's time, you’ll still think I’m the most amazing and magical boy in the universe.”

It’s ridiculous, you think, how it’s nearly winter but the way you can feel the laughter that starts in his chest and electrifies you to your fingertips is more than capable of keeping you warm and making you feel like you’re really alive.

“Doesn’t matter if I find out all your secrets or not,” you mumble, “you’ll always be the most amazing and magical boy in the universe to me.”

From the courtyard around the corner, you can hear Jaehyun shouting a loud “Oi Joochan!”.

Joochan ignores him and instead casually pecks your cheek with a kiss that feels like a blessing. “Always?”

You tilt your head as though unsure. "Well… for at least fifty years, probably.”

“Fifty?!” Joochan echoes in mock outrage, and you playfully poke his side to which he flinches slightly.

“I was lying. I meant for all of time ever.”

And despite him doing his best to hide it, your boyfriend melts instantly, burying his face in the crook of your neck where he’s probably smiling his brilliant smile that feels like the sun against your skin.

Jaehyun’s voice interrupts the peace and quiet once again with a noticeably louder and more panicked tone.

“Hong Joochan! We’re going to be late for soccer practice!”

Joochan groans exaggeratedly and you can’t help but giggle at his theatrics. “Wish I didn’t have to go to stupid practice,” he grumbles.

“You know, I’ll wait for you in the library until you’re done,” you offer and Joochan perks up - if only slightly because your arms still feel like heaven after years of loving you, and two hours of kicking a ball around (while Donghyun and Jibeom brainstorm inventive ways to trip each other up, much to Coach Lee’s chagrin) just can’t compete. He tells you as much in the way his arms tighten around you.

“You’re the best,” Joochan declares suddenly, “I might be the most amazing and magical boy in the universe, but you’re the best.”

You snort. “Go to practice already before Jaehyun starts going spare, wonderboy.”

Joochan kisses your forehead one last time before he detaches himself from you with a dejected sigh and picks up your bag, slinging it over his shoulder despite your protests. “Walk with me to the oval?”

You slip your hand into his hand only to find it a perfect fit and wonder briefly if there is anywhere in this world you would not walk to with Hong Joochan, the boy who has a smile like sunlight and a personality like a billion shooting stars.

“Of course.”

fm.

There is the occasional moment in which you wish that your boyfriend wasn’t so exceedingly talented in nearly every field he tries his hand at, because the various extracurriculars that Joochan (being the naturally energetic and enthusiastic person he is) involves himself with have an awful way of making tremendous demands on his time towards the end of the semester.

Right now is one of those moments when Joochan trudges into your room and dives face first onto your bed without even bothering to shake his coat off. “So what was it today?” you ask in a voice that betrays your concern and Joochan can’t help but smile at it.

“Theatre rehearsal,” he yawns, “then string quartet practice. Also an hour of soccer drills with some of the boys. Even though it’s a Saturday.”

You get up from your chair at the desk so you can sit on the bed where Joochan immediately moves his head onto your lap, lifting your hand and resting it on his hair. You absentmindedly start stroking it, staring out the window at a soft grey sky.

“Did you eat?”

Joochan shakes his head. “No time. My dumb E string broke again so I barely managed to have half an apple before we went straight into a new Mozart piece today. Think we might perform it at the next concert. You’d come, right?” And he asks that in a self-assured tone, because he already knows what your answer is going to be.

You give it to him anyway because there’s no point in hiding your blatant admiration for all that he does. “No matter what.”

“And just to see me, right?”

You fake a pause that has Joochan peering up at you suspiciously.

“You do know I have friends who aren’t you that are participating in the concert, right? Like Jangjun and Sungyoon?”

Joochan scowls. “But none of those hooligans are your boyfriend, who - in case you forgot but I do know you’d never - is me.”

“That’s quite true,” you concede before leaning down to kiss his cheek with a smile that makes Joochan’s stomach fill with butterflies which are probably colored pink and green and blue. It never gets old, he thinks: your talent for turning his world upside down in a look or a word or an action. And you don’t even know you’re doing it most of the time.

“Mean,” he accuses but in a half-hearted manner and your smile only widens because you know that Joochan is supremely happy despite his exhaustion, if the way his brow has smoothed completely and he has started drawing little stars on your knee is anything to go by.

There’s a gentle lull in the conversation while you continue to run your fingers through Joochan’s hair, and especially his fringe. It’s almost as though time has passed you by, leaving you together in your own little reality where things like hazy futures and big concerts and broken violin strings do not dare draw near.

“Wanna order something later on for dinner?” you ask quietly.

“Maybe,” he grins through closed eyes, “but nap first.”

Your radio continues to run, and you drift in and out of listening to the DJ duo while watching the rain finally fall outside.

“It’s been pretty cold recently, hasn’t it?” one of the DJs opens the conversation after a small stream of ads.

“Sure has, pal. And speaking of the cold, apparently our first snow of the season is scheduled for next week Friday!”

“So do you have any plans lined up with a special someone?”

“Just had to remind me of how single I am, didn’t you”- rambunctious peals of laughter crackle from the speakers - “but maybe some of our lovely listeners will send in their plans for next Friday.”

“I sure did - and wow, they’re already pouring in! Do you wanna read one out?”

“Let’s see… Listener ha_miii_ran says: ‘I’m planning on confessing to my crush of two years. I’m pretty nervous about this so I’m hoping the two of you will wish me luck!’ All the best of luck to you, Ha Miran-nim, from the both of us. I don’t know how you’re planning on it, but hopefully the first snow will act as a good luck charm for you!”

“Yeah, good luck Ha Miran-nim!” the other DJ chimes in. “Be sure to update us on how it goes!”

“Well, we’ll be back with some more stories after this excerpt from a famous piano concerto - maybe some of our more classically-inclined audience will recognise its globally renowned composer.”

A beautiful melody begins to play and you’re on the cusp of losing yourself in the music when you are most abruptly interrupted by a sleepy, but decisive, “Gershwin.”

You blink down at Joochan. “What?”

“It’s Gershwin. The composer. Don't you think your boyfriend's clever for knowing that?"

“I thought my boyfriend was asleep, actually,” and you narrow your eyes.

“I was,” Joochan protests, “I only woke up when they were talking about the snow or something. And then they talked about that person who’s confessing to their crush of two years - got me thinking about how I can relate because I vividly remember having a crush on you for at least three before I could muster up the courage to confess. Which ended up working out for the best, you know,” he adds in a thoughtful tone, “but sometimes I’d get so nervous just thinking about it that I couldn’t sleep at all. Anyways, I’m really hungry now, so can we order something soon please?”

Maybe it’s the way he so nonchalantly wears his heart for you on his sleeve, or maybe it’s the way he looks at you as though you have strung the Milky Way itself together and made a gift of it to him. Maybe it’s the way you simply realize that you might not be able to live with yourself if you were to lose your boyfriend, ever. But for whatever reason it is, a thousand smiles bloom in your heart and you lean down to give Joochan a kiss that hopefully tastes like everything you cannot possibly put into words.

“Anything you want,” you whisper, and Joochan draws a heart on your knee in response.

enchanted.

You’re outside the auditorium again but in front of it, this time, and not behind. The post-concert hubbub has died down, mostly owing to the fact that much of the audience has left already whether it’s to a late congratulatory supper or down to the boardwalk where fireworks are scheduled to go off at midnight. The bouquet of lily of the valleys in your hand trembles slightly as you use your other hand to fumble around for your ringing phone.

“Hello?”

“You’re waiting outside, right?” Joochan asks.

“Yeah, I am.”

“See, Donghyun, I told you I was right about - wait. Wait! Don't move!”

And then you have less than two seconds to process exactly what is happening before your boyfriend catches you up in a running embrace that sends the world spinning in a flurry of snow and stars and kisses that Joochan plants all over your cheeks. He remains blissfully unaware that somewhere in the vicinity, Donghyun has started making gagging sounds at your very public display of affection, punctuated by Jaehyun’s giggling. (You pay them no mind.)

“Did you enjoy the concert?” he asks, fond expectation twinkling in his eyes.

You nod too much. “You were incredible,” you tell him honestly, and Joochan beams.

“I was, wasn’t I?” he says in a satisfied voice as he pulls you closer. “Guess all those hours of practice paid off.”

“It’s almost like that’s the whole point of practicing,” you tease.

“It’s lucky you’re cute and I’m hopelessly in love with you,” Joochan crinkles his nose in contrived distaste for your little jab before hugging you again so he can hear you whisper just how proud you are of him, right into his ear.

And the two of you stay like that for a little before you remember the gift you brought with you.

“For me?” And the look in his eyes reminds you of how he looked at you when you first told him that you loved him too - or maybe of every time you’ve told him that you love him too.

“Who else?”

He snaps up the bouquet, pressing it against his nose and inhaling deeply with a smile. "This is a nice surprise."

"They mean 'return to happiness'," you say, gently touching a little white bloom that looks like a star against the backdrop of Joochan's black school blazer. "Thought it was cute. And the florist was sold out of roses anyway."

Joochan laughs with the warmth of a thousand sunbeams and puts your hand in his so he can start gently tugging you away.

“But your violin”- you begin protesting.

“But nothing,” he shushes you as the school gets smaller and smaller behind you in the distance. “I don’t even want to see that thing for a week. Hey, and guess what - I found a secret place for just you and me so we can watch the fireworks without being pressed up against everyone else like sardines in a tin can.”

“You and I are going to watch the fireworks?” you echo, surprise colouring your voice.

Joochan’s exhale turns into a giggle. “Who else?” And you dig an elbow into his side, hiding a smile at his antics.

The two of you stroll down quiet streets and you lean into your boyfriend’s comforting warmth. Most shops are closed with the exception of some fast food chains and convenience stores, but you notice almost none of them now as Joochan picks up the pace, his excitement bleeding into the quiet song he sings that floats up in the air and is lost somewhere in the stars above.

“Here we are,” says Joochan proudly and he helps you up into the little gazebo at the top of the hill you hadn’t realized you were climbing. “Take this,” he adds as he tosses you a torch that brightly illuminates the space you’re in as soon as you switch it on. You turn to the rustling sounds on your left, finally seeing the wooden bench that Joochan is busy spreading a rug over.

“You planned this beforehand?” And there’s a note of wonder in your voice - the same kind that only Joochan ever seems to be able to evoke. “I thought we were going straight home.”

He gestures for you to sit next to him with a charming smile and you do so immediately. “Told you I can’t give up all the secrecy. Not yet.” Or, he thinks privately to himself, not when you look at him like that.

The golden light from the torch casts long shadows over the grass and gives Joochan’s face a nearly ethereal glow that reminds you of summer sunsets despite the cold. You slip into a soft and easy silence - one that comes from memories built upon memories, resulting in a code made up of gazes and touch that only the two of you will ever understand. And so when he squeezes your hand gently, you instantly open your arms for him to sink right into.

There’s only a few minutes left until midnight when you finally speak.

“Joochan,” you murmur.

“Mm?”

“You ever think about where we’ll be this time next year?”

Joochan shifts his posture slightly. “Often, actually. Especially when I go to sleep at night and think about tomorrow - then I’ll wonder if it’ll even remotely go the way I want it to.”

“And how do you usually want it to go?” you ask.

“Someone has a lot of questions today,” Joochan remarks with a droll look on his face that makes you laugh briefly before his expression sobers. “But usually I want it to go safely. You know? Everything in its proper place and things like that. And more importantly, I want to know all the time that I’ll be able to see you.”

You’re silent for a moment, looking out over the view of the city. If you squint, you can just make out the boardwalk by the beach and the crowds of people who have gathered there, young and old alike. “I’m scared sometimes.”

Joochan frowns. “Scared of what? I’ll fight it off for you,” and he waves a threatening fist at nothing in particular.

“The future, I guess. It sounds silly but… sometimes I don’t know if we’ll always be okay. Like this, the way things are right now. Whether it’s tomorrow or next year or even after that.” Your voice fades in volume until it’s nearly lost against the threads of your scarf, and Joochan’s heart breaks a little when he hears it: the genuine uncertainty and timid fear that seeps past the smile you give him in an effort to hide it.

“Why do you think we might not be okay?”

You look down at your feet, almost embarrassed by your own honesty. “Well, people… change, Joo. They move places, and have goals to achieve and dreams to chase down. And we’re not immune to that either.”

It’s Joochan’s turn to be silent for a bit as he mulls over your words before he straightens in your hold, turning his face towards you so he can affectionately bump his nose against yours. “You’re right,” he says in a voice that mirrors your sadness, “and it would be a lie to say I don’t think about the same things you do. But”- and he leans in to give you a quick kiss that’s shaped like a smile - “it’d also be a lie to say that every dream doesn’t feature you in it. Because every dream of mine that I’ve ever had places you centre stage.”

He kisses you again, a little longer - a little more wistfully.

“You see, the real problem here is that you have me perpetually thinking that I can’t do any of this without you,” he says simply. “Whether it’s late night phone calls or early morning messages; or maybe we’ll find ourselves having to book flights for each other, holding bags full of gifts that remind us of us. And maybe it’ll be hard and maybe I’ll wake up some days, knowing I won’t be able to see you. But that doesn’t mean we won’t be okay.”

You swallow and Joochan watches you carefully, the urgency in his eyes prompting him to lift your chin so you can see it too.

“Even if we change,” he continues in a whisper, hoping you will understand the heart in his words. “And we should. And we will, and we’ll still be okay. You believe me, don’t you? Seeing as I’m the most amazing and magical boy in the universe?”

Somewhere, midnight comes and goes and the fireworks start, dousing you and Joochan in bursts of coloured light.

“Of course I do,” you smile with eyes that glitter with tears of relief and he pulls you into a tight hug, so tight you can feel every movement of his rib cage as he breathes in and out.

For once, you do not feel that fear deep down that threatens to taint your time with the only boy you think you cannot live without. And so you unreservedly hold him in return, fingers running through his hair as he tells you that he loves you, over and over again.

up, up and away.

There had been a time during your childhood when your one greatest wish had been to go see the stars.

So your friend Joochan, in all his clumsy sincerity, had done his best to make you a rocket out of a box he’d found at home. He’d then brought it to your house after he’d finished it, blue marker staining his fingertips and glitter shaped like stars lost in his thick fringe.

The two of you had sat in it together and looked up at the moon, holding hands from childish innocence and recounting thrilling tales of adventures you’d never had. And before having to go home to bed that day, he’d made you a promise that present-day Joochan complains about not being able to fulfill.

“I know I said I’d take you to the stars,” Joochan sighs in displeasure from where he lies on your bed, right next to you, “but while your boyfriend is exceptionally talented, you do know I’m no astronaut, right?”

You hold his hand in response and look into his eyes that sparkle with mirth and deeper in, shine with a love that always gives you peace.

It may be that Joochan will never be able to keep his promise of taking you to space in a real, functioning rocket. But, as you drop a kiss on his mouth that soon widens into a brilliant smile, you can’t find it in yourself to really care.

After all, it’s hard to miss the stars when for you, they all start with Joochan and end with him.

if u liked this please consider dropping a like and reblogging with ur thoughts because feedback is!! always appreciated thank you!!!

#SCREAMS IT'S FINALLY DONE WITH I'M FINALLY FINISHED #golden child #golden child scenarios #golden child imagines #hong joochan #golden child hong joochan #golden child joochan #joochan #ju writes #gncd #golcha #im now off to go cry. or nap. both

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timextoxhajima · 4 years

Audio

Playlist Feels

Part 1: Crying In The Club

Member: Juyeon (ft. Hyunjae/changmin????)

Genre: idk man. angst/chill/slice of life/fluff????? irdk

A/N: this was requested. no, i’m not like, posting/asking openly for requests BUT if you happen to see this, then you’re in luck. the only reason why i haven’t opened for requests is because i don’t have a large pool of followers, so if you like my style of writing and you have faith in me (because i’m not the greatest writer out there), feel free to drop me a dm/ask. i’m currently writing for tbz/nct/ateez/maybe txt idk, if you’re really interested, we can work something out :D

A/N part 2: i’m a very emotional (?) person when it comes to writing (otherwise i’m a stone cold bitch lol), so when i was asked if i could write a part 2 to this juyeon piece, i was quite surprised. the first reason being: i didn’t think the request would be for this particular piece of work for juyeon, because it got like 8 notes at the point of time i got the ask. the second reason is that i wrote the first part for me to release my feelings. whatever i wrote in the first part mirrors my feelings/situation in real life (yeah, i may or may not be worried about an ex-boyfriend stalking me welp, and yeah i may or may not have caught feelings for someone i know who stays in my dorm. unfortunately, it’s only in my imagination that he comes to my rescue, ha.). i just found it very mysterious (?) and strange about all these coincidences and it also made me really happy that people enjoy reading what i write :D

to the person who requested this, i hope you won’t be disappointed!

“what?” your friend nearly screams in your face. thank god the drinking crowd doesn’t come in until around 10pm, else the whole bar would be looking at the both of you. “like-- the lee juyeon? the one that’s got a fucking billion girls on his tail? and he kissed you?”

you look up over the rim of your spectacles and the edge of your laptop screen, and your friend completely loses it at the sight of your face that was void of emotion.

“the hell’s wrong with you?! didn’t you confess to the man like, a month ago? now, he’s god done kissed you, stayed over in your room when your crazy, psycho ex-boyfriend’s following you, and you have no feelings or opinion to account for that?”

your eyes were half-hooded from the cider, though not nearly enough to even make you tipsy, it was enough to make your eyelids droop a little lower than if you were wide awake.

“just because i liked him, doesn’t mean i need to warrant him any more attention. i’m too tired of this stuff anyway, especially with what happened to the relationship with my crazy, psycho ex-boyfriend,” you say with a lack of affection, only looking back to your laptop screen and resuming your furious typing. your friend has her hands on both sides of her face, nearly squishing all her features while she stares wide-eyed at you.

it felt so long ago that juyeon kissed you for the sake of scaring your stalker away, when it was merely a week ago. since then, you prayed every day not to run into juyeon or your stalker.

thank god you’ve seen neither. your prayers have been heard.

“whatever happened with your crazy ex-boyfriend shouldn’t have anything to do with whatever you want to do with your feelings now. are you really going to let him ruin your chances of being with freakin’ lee juyeon?”

“easy for you to say, you weren’t the one being threatened and stalked,” you retorted, not even bothering to look at her. you were lucky your friend knew the whole story, because any other person would’ve shut you down for being so rude and blunt. truth was, she knew you were emotionally exhausted, to the point where you were emotionally unavailable. even if lee juyeon really had a thing for you, it was going to take a lot of effort to encourage you to try building something out of a relationship with one of the school’s most popular boys.

you hear her sigh before finishing her own bottle of cider.

“i just want my feelings for juyeon to go away. i don’t want anything to do with the man, not when he’s got so many girls after him, not when i obviously don’t stand a chance at winning him over even if i was interested.”

your friend glares at you, with the words “really?” printed into her forehead.

“i’m not even gonna bother anymore. you do what you want with juyeon,” you smile at her final announcement to leave the case. you watch with softer eyes, your arms perched on the table and your chin resting on your clasped hands while she packed her stuff. “but mark my words, if it’s anything i know, lee juyeon doesn’t go around kissing people.”

you roll your eyes, pulling away from the table as she picks up her bag.

“haven’t we established that he only did it because i was being followed--”

“my girl, you don’t get a say in this. you’re too emotionally occupied... or shut down, to see what’s really happening. but from what my cousin tells me, juyeon’s not the kind to offer such intimate acts to people he doesn’t know well. that, you can trust my cousin.”

you bare your teeth in disgust at her final blow. if she hadn’t reminded you, you would’ve forgotten that changmin, who was part of juyeon’s popular boy clique, was a cousin of hers.

“i gotta bolt, you have fun and please don’t go back too late. i doubt juyeon’s going to magically appear again at one thirty in the morning to save your ass,” she looks back over her shoulder and raises a brow at you. nodding your head gently, you wave her off.

you mirror your friend’s actions from before and press your hands to the sides of your face, your fingers pressing against your temple. you shut your eyes gently, listening to the soft ‘clink clanks’ from the counter near the kitchen, and the soft shuffle and distant talking from other students in the bar.

“lee juyeon doesn’t go around kissing people”

you shake yourself out of it, drinking some water before resuming your work on your laptop. whatever your friend said about you being emotionally unavailable was true, but you had no clue how to get over it, and frankly, even if you did know how, it was going to take a lot of courage and a lot of patience.

you work on your stuff for about an hour, making a deal with yourself to head back to your room before midnight while the bar would be at its busiest. you thank the student staff who recognised you from the previous week, pulling out your phone from your pocket and empty-mindedly scrolling through your social media.

then, someone calls out to you.

instantly, all the blood rushes from every part of your body and into your chest. that voice... there was no way you were ever going to forget it.

your grip on your phone gets tighter, and your heart begins to race. your mind screams ‘run’ but your body reacts exactly like how every dumb white girl acts in a horror movie.

“i was wondering where you’ve been. i didn’t think you’d be back here after... well, last week,” you hear him scoff, and the sound of his shoes against the floor translates into a smaller gap between the two of you. “smart move, i must say. big reverse-psyche move right there.”

your breathing gets heavier, and your eyes were no longer tired from the alcohol. the fact that he was standing right behind you was making you feel trapped, and even though you could’ve taken off in any direction, the memory of what he did completely rendered your ability to move, useless.

“i don’t want to see you again, please. i stand by what i said last year, i’ll ruin your fucking life if i see you again.”

you take a step forward, but he grabs your arm from behind, harshly pulling you around so you were facing him.

nothing about him changed. his facial features, his height, his hair might’ve grown a little longer, but the look that you stole your will to love was still in his eyes. you wince as you try to pull away, but he doesn’t budge.

“ruin my life?” he smirks, and it makes you want to slap him across the face. “sure, but not after i ruin yours too.”

you felt your gut twisting like crazy inside of you, and your legs were losing their energy to even let you stand. you wince at his tightening grip on your forearm, and all you wanted to do was to kick him in the nuts, but you just couldn’t move.

“you’ve already ruined mine...” you quietly inform, remembering the feeling of being completely worthless, completely destroyed by him. “why are you doing this? you’ve already ruined my life, what benefit do you get from it?”

“oh?” his eyes widen, and a smug look pulls up on his face. “what about that kiss in the lift last week? didn’t he sleep over as well? i was there till four am, and he never left the building. i thought you’ve already moved on.”

you grit your teeth as both anger and fear runs through your blood.

you open your mouth, ready to hurl a string of vulgarities at him and protest against him being the world’s worst person, but someone beats you to it.

“pretty sure she already did, man.”

the psycho looks up from you and looks over your head, the smug smile completely wiped away and was replaced with a look of despise and anger.

you shut your eyes tightly, sucking your lips in between your teeth as you tilt your head like you were in pain.

it was hyunjae’s voice, and there was an almost close to zero possibility that he wasn’t with juyeon.

“mind letting my girl go?”

there it was.

you frown to yourself at juyeon’s words, still being held in an awkward position while you faced the psycho’s chest, and his eyes still glued to the two boys behind you.

“are you deaf or do you not understand simple instructions?” you finally see hyunjae reach your footing, and hyunjae lays a hand on the psycho’s grip on you. the psycho only lets go because he couldn’t read hyunjae.

you shift away quickly, rubbing your arm where his grip on you was marked with reddening lines. you back away and bump into juyeon, who only stretched out his arm in front of you, pushing you backwards behind him.

“did he hurt you?” juyeon turns to the side, only showing you his side profile.

“no...” you trail off, still rubbing your arm. the lines turn into light bruises, and you can only tell yourself that you were going to wear long-sleeved tops until they healed.

juyeon turns back to hyunjae, who now had his arm pressed against the psycho’s chest. for a moment, the psycho looked like he was ready to eat you like a lion hunting its prey, and the only things in his way were hyunjae and juyeon.

“go back to the dorms. i’ll come check up on you afterwards,” juyeon instructs. you watch as he takes large steps towards hyunjae and the psycho. you were already backing off, but his eyes never leave you while juyeon and hyunjae try to talk him out of being crazy.

your view of the psycho was almost completely obstructed by juyeon, and hyunjae was talking to him by his side. all of a sudden, the psycho lunges forward, pushing past juyeon and towards you. the sight causes you to jerk backwards and stumble to turn and run.

hyunjae grabs him by the arm while juyeon’s first instinct was to run back to your side, and before you knew it, juyeon has fingers intertwined with the collar of the psycho’s shirt, his fists balled up and their faces inches away from one another.

hyunjae watches on from a short distance away, hands on his hips as he scans the situation.

“does she look like she still belongs to you? does she look like she’s got your name plastered to her forehead? last i checked, i was the one who kissed her and spent the night with her, not you,” juyeon’s voice was low, and strangely calm. you wonder if he’s truly ever lost his temper at anybody. “oh, i forgot. you know, right?”

you were backed up enough to see the look on your stalker’s face, which was now contorted into an ugly mess of distaste, anger and disgust.

“after all we went through, you take one year to get over it? so quickly?” your stalker scoffs, loud enough for you to hear, loud enough to push all the wrong buttons.

juyeon shoves him backwards and pushes him so hard that he falls to the floor. before he could get up, juyeon has his foot on his chest, weighing him down.

“you really need to think twice about what you do around here. not only did you choose to be a crazy, psychotic stalker in a public area, but you just had to choose the one corner with a fully functioning CCTV.”

your stalker, who was on the ground, looks up and around the area, and you could see the intensity of panic that filled him the moment he saw the blinking red dot on the camera mounted to the corner where the ceiling met the wall.

“and unlike you, i’m not dumb enough to pick a fight with you,” juyeon retracts his legs and exchanged quick glances with hyunjae. “you can wait for your letter of expulsion to come in your letter box wherever you’re staying in school. and you better believe that if i see you anywhere near her, i’ll make sure you spend the rest of your life locked up behind bars.”

hyunjae turns and looks at you, allowing juyeon to finish his statement. he pats him on the shoulder, telling him to leave him alone. after a few moments of intense glaring between the psycho and juyeon, he finally backs away and follows behind hyunjae as they approach you.

you were back in your room, rocking back and forth with your rear mounted to the floor. hyunjae was on the phone telling the other boys that he and juyeon were sitting out from tonight’s drink session because ‘juyeon wasn’t feeling well’, while juyeon was sitting opposite you, watching you spiral into your own hole of thoughts and despair.

“they’re not gonna buy the excuse, but they let us off the hook,” hyunjae locks his phone and shoves it into his pocket, crossing his arms across his chest. juyeon nods at hyunjae, and the older boy takes his leave.

he shuffles nearer to you upon the door shutting, his legs on either sides of your hips and his feet under your bed. you were nearly leaning on it, with your knees hugged tightly against your chest. you were stuck between him and your bed, but who even cared anymore?

your vision was zoning out, but you feel him trying to take your arm when he notices the light bruises on your skin.

“i’m fine,” you muttered sharply, hiding your hand between your stomach and your thighs.

“why do you stay out so late? and alone?” he lowers his head, matching his eye level with yours. “i thought you would’ve learnt your lesson from last week.”

“i didn’t think he was going to circle back and find me at the bar again. i thought he’d scour the whole school looking for me, then give up once he realises i’m hiding from him.”

juyeon pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue and runs a hand through his blue hair. “but he knows where you stay.”

“and i thought he’d back off after seeing us--” you straighten yourself to finish the sentence, frustrated that juyeon was interrogating you and speaking the obvious. but then you realise you couldn’t say it without feeling butterflies in your stomach.

damn these feelings.

juyeon raises a cocky brow, though not obvious, but it was easy to notice. a soft smile creeps up on the corners of his lips.

“so you were riding on the hope that he’d buy our skit?” juyeon shuffles forward again, now that you were sitting up straight and that movement created extra space between the two of you. you crane your neck backwards, the lack of distance between his nose and your eyes becoming painfully difficult to ignore.

“i mean...” you look away, annoyed at his ability to turn such a horrible night into one of his little talking games. “if hyunjae or changmin saw it, maybe they’d buy it. i know i would, especially if i didn’t know the situation.”

“changmin?” juyeon was now grinning, his eyes halving into crescents. “all of a sudden, why changmin?”

“i was with a friend earlier tonight at the bar. she’s changmin’s cousin and i know the both of you are close.”

juyeon hums in acknowledgement, now scratching a spot on his cheek.

there was an awkward silence in the air, and you couldn’t hear much besides your heavy breathing, split second flashes of whatever happened just about half an hour ago still running on repeat in your head.

“do you want to know something?”

you look up at him through the corners of your eyes, slightly afraid to look at him all too directly. there was something in his voice that was so alluring, like he was about to tell you a world-class secret.

“do i want to know?” you cautiously returned a question. juyeon chuckles and stretches both his arms forwards, resting his hands on the mattress behind your shoulders. your eyes widen as the change in position further narrows whatever distance you previously had, and if you weren’t already dying at the fact that you were caged between his arms, you were combusting at how close he was to you.

so close, that you could feel his breath on your forehead.

“changmin and hyunjae would totally buy it.”

huh?

“do you want to know why? or are you capable of deciphering ‘why’ yourself?”

oh, god, no. please, no.

“if i said no, could you spare me the information?” you ask, still refusing to look at him. juyeon chuckles again.

time seemed to pass extremely slowly as you fail to react to him removing one of his hands from the bed, now reaching up to your chin and pulling it to face him.

your heart picks up its pace again, and instead of fear that ran through you previously, you couldn’t ignore the butterflies that were filling your stomach.

“if you’re about to confess, i’m begging you not to.”

juyeon’s smile disappears, and an overwhelming feeling of vulnerability and pity washes over you. your eyes don’t falter despite looking straight into juyeon’s. your words came out almost like a whisper, and if he wasn’t this close to you, he probably wouldn’t have heard it.

“why?” he asks quietly.

you feel your eye brow twitch, and your nose turn slightly sour.

oh, no, why do you choose to cry now?

“i can’t afford another heartbreak. i can’t afford feeling like i’m nothing again. not after i chose to give him my time, my heart... my body. only for him to use it against me, only for him to say that nobody will love me because of how depressed i am all the damn time...”

you shake your chin out of juyeon’s fingers, looking away as you feel the tears welling up in your eyes again.

you feel your tears dribble down over your cheeks, and before you could reach up to your face to wipe them away, juyeon beats you to it. but instead of wiping your tears, you found yourself stuck in another kiss.

this time, it wasn’t for show.

there was nobody else around for him to ‘scare off’.

you shut your eyes upon the contact, allowing all the cooped up tears to wash out from the crevices of your lids. juyeon has your cheeks cupped in his large hands that were probably the size of your face.

the touch reminds you of when you first kissed your ex-boyfriend. the feeling of melting chocolate fondue, the feeling of coming home to a warm cup of tea on a cold day--

you hurriedly pull away, panic slowly filling your heart again. “juyeon--”

“you begged me not to confess, but i hope that was enough to show you what i wanted to say.” juyeon interrupts, his thumbs now wiping away the droplets of tears hanging from your jawline and the trails left on your cheeks.

“but i’m never going to be able to act like i’m in a normal relationshi--”

“so be it,” he holds up your face so you had no choice but to look at him. “whoever said i wanted a ‘normal relationship’? it was my choice to choose you, and so it’s my choice to be with you as you are.”

you feel the panic slowly wear away, and his words warm your heart.

“give me time and i’ll prove that you’re the one i want to be with. i know it’s not easy to believe that with all the... girls chasing us around all the time... but i hope you’ll still give me a chance. one month ago, you told me you didn’t want an answer and all you wanted to do was to get it off your chest and get over me. i hope you haven’t succeeded.”

you feel your facial muscles relax at his confession, and the warmth radiating from his hands on your face made you feel so safe, so protected, in a long, long time.

“i haven’t,” you gently shake your head, reaching up to pull his hand away from your face and draw circles on the back of his hand.

juyeon gives you the warmest smile you’ve ever seen on him. he pulls you into his chest as you exhale all the worries from your heart.

it was definitely going to take a lot of courage and patience, but if juyeon was going to do whatever he said he would, then you couldn’t be any more happier to try.

#timetohajima #timetohajima playlist feels #juyeon #lee juyeon #the boyz #the boyz juyeon #angst #drama #tw abuse #tw depression #juyeon fanfic #juyeon imagine #juyeon scenario #the boyz fanfic #the boyz scenario #argh #my hearteu dieded

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waitimcomingtoo · 5 years

Note

hi, idk if you're taking requests rn but i was wondering if you could do a peter x astrophilia! reader where they're stargazing and he's just staring at her in awe while she rambles about space and she sees him staring and just blushes n goes quiet 🥺

Astrophilia

Astrophilia- (noun) Love of and/or obsession with planets, stars, and outer space.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Masterlist

Requests are CLOSED

At age fourteen, you didn’t exactly have much on your plate. It was the summer before high school and your days mostly consisted of the same things: Subways rides to the “dangerous” parts of New York (or as far as Aunt May allowed) and trips to random streets you couldn’t find on a map. Some days were spent inside playing Mario Kart until your thumbs hated you, and some days were spent outdoors until the sun had fully set and your parents were just about ready to kill you for being out so late. No matter what you were doing, you days were spent with your best friend Peter Parker.

You’d been friends since preschool and being apart was not something either of you enjoyed. Today was no different. You were hanging out in Peters room, just three days before high school was going to start.

It was a slow Sunday. You were just sitting on Peters bed, joking around like always. It's been that way for years, Peter and Y/n, the dynamic duo. But you kinda always liked him a little more than a friend. You couldn't help it. Peter was sweet, kind, adorable, respectful, and treated you like royalty. You didn’t know when the platonic moments in your friendship began to feel romantic, but once you noticed, it was all you thought about.

“Do you think the people will be nice?” You asked Peter as you curled into on of his pillows. Peter joined you on the bed and shrugged.

“I’m sure they’ll be nice enough.” He said.

“Do you think the boys will be nice?” You asked the real question that was on your mind.

Peter was quiet for a minute and shifted his position.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged and kept his eyes down. “Maybe?”

You sat up on your elbow and faced him.

“Do you think they’ll like me?” You asked him awkwardly. Sometimes, having a boy best friend made conversations like these harder than they needed to be.

“The boys?” Peter squeaked, feeling a weird feeling in his tummy at your sudden interest in guys.

“Yeah.” You said shyly.

“Of course they will.” Peter stated. “Why wouldn’t they?”

“I’m kinda, I don’t know, nerdy.” You shrugged.

“You think you’re nerdy?” Peter asked. “I wear science pun T shirts and my aunt still packs my lunches.”

“Yeah, but what about the whole space thing?” You asked him. You were a bit of a space geek, something Peter adored about you.

“Y/n, you’re a genius when it comes to knowing about space. That doesn’t make you a nerd. That makes you super cool.” Peter assured you. He hated when you felt insecure about your intelligence. You were the smartest person he knew, and he loved that.

“I’m glad you think so, but I doubt high school boys will find my geekiness ‘super cool’.” You said meekly.

“What kind of guys are you into anyway?” Peter pretended to just think of the question, when he’d really been thinking about it for months. You laughed a little to yourself, know long the kind of guys you were into were Peter.

“I don’t know. Nice ones? I don’t really think about it. As long as he’s kind and can make me laugh, I’ll take him.” You shrugged with a small smile. “And if he knows a thing or two about space, that’d be nice too.”

“You’re telling me all a guy has to be is kind, funny, know a little something about space to be with a girl like you?” Peter asked in disbelief. “There’s gotta be something else, something you look for.”

“A girl like me?” You asked curiously.

“Yeah, uh, I don’t know.” Peter scratched the back of his neck. “It was a dumb question. Forget I asked.”

“Okay.” You watched Peter curiously for a moment before looking away. “And I like musicians, by the way.” You blurted. “That’s the thing I look for. Especially the guitar.”

You and Peter dropped the topic and went on as usual.

The first day of school came and went. When the sun set and you finished your homework, you took Peter to the roof to stargaze like you always did. You sat between Peters legs against the chimney and tilted your chins towards the sky.

“Wow.” You breathed.

“The stars are really showing off tonight, aren’t they? Putting on a show for us.” Peter said softly as he watched your reaction to the sky.

“I could look at the sky for hours.” You sighed and held onto Peters arm, which were wrapped around your shoulders.

“They seem so close. Just a few miles from where we are.” Peter commented.

“Well the closest star to Earth is Proxima Centauri. It’s just 4.2 light-years away.” You absentmindedly told Peter a fact about space. You missed the fond smile he gave you as he found himself wanting to know more.

“And the furthest?” He asked.

“The furthest star right now is 100 million light years away. It’s in the M100 galaxy of the Virgo Cluster.” You said like it was common knowledge. Peters eyes gleamed with an inexplicably fondness for your intelligence.

“How many do you think there are? A million?” He asked, playing dumb now to coax more facts out of you.

“About 200 to 400 billion, and about a trillion in the Milky Way.” You answered, suddenly becoming self conscious of your words. “Uh, I’m guessing.”

“Seems like a pretty good guess to me.” Peter shrugged against your body.

“Sorry. I’m being weird. I’ll stop.” You shifted awkwardly and swallowed.

“You’re not being weird.” Peter said defensively. “Tell me about them.”

“What?” You looked over your shoulder at him.

“The stars. Tell me about them. I want to hear everything you know.” Peter smiled sheepishly.

“No you don’t. It’s boring.” You shook your head.

“Not to me.” Peter promised. A smile tugged onto your lips and you turned back towards the sky.

“So, space is infinite, obviously.” You began. “You got your planets, galaxies, moons, nebulas, and of course, stars. My favorite are stars.”

“Me too.” Peter held you closer and rested his chin on your hair as he listened.

“Stars are luminous spheres made of plasma-“

“Plasma?” Peter asked.

“It’s superheated gas threaded with a magnetic field.” You answered. Stars are mostly made of hydrogen, which they fuse in their cores.”

“Got it.” Peter nodded as if he understood a word you said. His sudden interest encouraged you to keep going.

“That process releases energy, which pushes against the weight of the outer layers of the star and stabilizes it. The energy is also released as heat and light, which radiates out to space.” You continued.

“Amazing.” Peter stared at your profile. The way your face lit up when talking about something you loved made Peters heart melt. He could listen to you all night.

“I know, right?” You laughed happily, making Peter grin. “And did you know stars were some of the first objects to form in the early stages of the universe? We’re looking at the same stars dinosaurs, Galileo, and King Henry have looked at. Isn’t that incredible to think about? The same sun that warms our skin has shown on Alice Paul and Stan Lee. That’s why I love space so much.”

“I didn’t know that.” Peter said gently.

“Because people don’t take the time to learn about it.” You sighed in disappointment. “I mean, they teach us about the phases of the moon and whatnot, but they don’t tell us about the basic groundwork of the universe. Like, have you ever been taught how a star is formed?”

“No. Could you tell me?” Peter asked gently.

“Well, as long as you’re asking.” You smiled sheepishly to hide your excitement. “So, star formation happens in clouds of interstellar gas and dust called “nebulae”, right? The star starts to form when the cloud is nudged into a spinning motion, usually by a shock wave from a nearby supernova explosion or something. Clumps begin to form, and they get hotter and hotter as they gain more mass. When the temperature inside reaches 10 million degrees Celsius a star is born.” You recited. You looked over at Peter and noticed that he was dead silent, just staring at you. Your cheeks heated up when Peter didn’t say anything, and you got quiet. “Sorry. I’m rambling.”

“No, it’s okay.” Peter snapped out of his awe and assured you. “Keep going.”

“Do you really want to hear about stars?” You asked suspiciously.

“No, but I like to hear you talk.” Peter admitted.

"I still can't believe Liz turned you down.” You changed the subject to something more Peters speed. He had asked Liz Allen to the back to school party at Flash’s house and she promptly turned him down. “She's crazy."

You felt Peter shrug against you again and you wondered if you should’ve kept your mouth shut.

"It’s whatever. I didn’t really like her anyway.” Peter answered honestly.

"I know, but still. Who in their right mind would turn you down? She’s lucky you even looked her way.” You said, not even realizing what your words meant to Peter. He felt it too, that shift from platonic to romantic. He was just glad you weren’t facing him and couldn’t see his blush.

“You’re just saying that.” He replied.

“No, I’m not.” You said sincerely. “You're so nice to everyone and so smart. And oh my God, the funniest guy in the world. And not to mention, cute as hell.”

Peters body suddenly felt warm against yours and you wondered if he was blushing.

(Yes, he was)

"Nowhere near as cute as you." He said in a shy voice. You looked back at him gave him a playful shove.

"Oh, shut up. No I'm not." You looked back at the sky to keep yourself from smiling as Peter shook his head.

"You should see the way guys look at you. They practically drool." He muttered, and you could hear a tinge of jealousy in his voice.

"Oh, please. No guys stare at me.” You dismissed. “Why would they? I'm nothing special."

Peter finally looked at you and met your eyes.

"Do you really not know you're beautiful?" He asked, confusion in his voice.

"What?” You asked quietly.

"You know you're beautiful, right Y/n?" Peter sat up a little and sounded serious. Unsure of what to say, you didn’t answer and just chewed your lips.

"Did you really not know that?” Peter asked again.

You shook you head and Peter laughed in disbelief.

"I'm not beautiful, Peter. Not like Liz, anyway. Not even close." You said softly, making Peter look at you like you were crazy.

"Yes you are, Y/n.” Peter said firmly. “Inside and out. I can't believe no ones ever told you."

“Why does it matter?” You shrugged.

“Look up.” Peter said suddenly, and you did.

“You see those stars? All 200 to 400 billion of them?” He asked and you nodded. “You are more beautiful than every single one of them. Even the trillion in the Milky Way. And you’re wrong. The closest star isn’t 4.2 light years away. She’s sitting right next to me.”

“You listened.” You smiled small and looked back down at him.

"I always listen.” Peter told you. That's it, hand me my backpack.” He commanded. You laughed but did as you were told. Peter began to dig in his backpack, emptying it of books to find what he was looking for.

"What are you doing?" You asked him. He didn't answer, but pulled a small ukulele out of his bag.

“Since when do you play?” You asked in shock. You were so sure you knew everything there was to know about Peter Parker.

“Since about three days ago.” Peter answered as he held the instrument to his ear and tuned it.

"Just listen, okay? I know it’s not a guitar, but listen.” He asked calmly. You nodded, dying to see where this was going as he began to strum his ukulele. His fingers soon found the rhythm and a melody flowed out. You didn't recognize the song a first, but soon realized it was You're Beautiful by James Blunt. You smiled and rested your hand on his knee as he played.

"My life is brilliant, my love is pure. I saw an angel, of that I'm sure." He sang softly. Not only could Peter play, the boy could sing. His voice was smooth and angelic, making your heart flutter. You’d never been serenaded before and it was definitely something you could get used to.

"You're beautiful, you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful, it's true. I saw your face in a crowded place and I don't know what to do. Cause I'll never be with you." He continued the song, finally looking away from the strings and into your eyes. You listened to him as closely as you could, basking in the moment. There was that incredible voice that you loved. Peter was always shy about things he was good at, and you wondered if that’s why you’d never heard his singing before. You felt robbed of his glory for the past 14 years.

"There must be angel with a smile on her face when she thought up that I should be with you.” He sang through a smile.

You beamed at him and his cheeks grew pinker and pinker. Peters fingers dragged along the strings as he approached the final verse.

"But it's time to face the truth; I will never be with you." He strummed once more before setting the ukulele down on his lap. He looked very satisfied with his little serenade before looking up at you for approval. You looked up into his brown eyes and broke into a huge smile.

"That was beautiful, Peter. I loved it.” You told him honestly as you reached over and took his hand. “But some of those lyrics are a lie."

Peter put the ukele back in his bag and sighed.

"No they're not, Y/n. You really are beautiful." He promised.

You laughed softly and toyed with his fingers.

"No, not those lyrics." You shook your head and Peter looked confused.

"Then, which lyrics?" He asked.

You held your breath and looked away from his gaze. It was time to take a leap of faith. “The ones that say ‘I'll never be with you’, I mean.That’s not true. At least, I hope it’s not true.” You look into Peters eyes and search them for a reaction. You thank your lucky stars when you see his face light up and a huge grin making its way across his lips.

"REALLY?!" He asked excitedly, then clears his throat and tries to look casual. "I mean um, really?" Peter asked with all the hope on the world in his eyes.

“Really.” You confirmed.

"Truth is Y/n, Liz didn’t turn me down. I actually turned her down for a the party because…” he trailed off.

"Because?" You asked, encouraging him to continue.

"Because, well...you're the one that I want. Not her or any other girl. I wanna be with you." He said softly and carefully, in fear of being rejected.

Little did he know, you had been dreaming of being his for months at that point. You didn't want to spend another second being just his friend. Peter looked at you longingly, expecting you to say something. But you didn't say anything; you just leaned forward and pressed your lips to his, gently in the pale moonlight. Peter seemed surprised at first, but then kissed you back, cupping your cheek with his hand. You leaned forward and pushed him back against the base of the chimney, melting into him. You finally broke apart and stared at each other in a comfortable silence, just enjoying each other's presence. He brought his slightly cold hand back to your cheek and you leaned into it.

"I really like you, Y/n.” Peter smiled, looking the happiest you’d ever seen him.

"I really like you too, Peter.” You smiled back.

Peter laughed in joy and kissed you again.

“Do you want to go to that party together?” Peter suggested “As a couple?”

“I would love to.” You agreed to his offer and turned around again to settle into his arms. You tilted your chins towards the sky again, returning to your stargazing. This time, you weren’t thinking about space. Stars weren’t your favorite thing in the universe anymore. Now, it was Peter Parker.

Tag List 🏷

@maybemona @sunrise-shawn @meghan-8520xx @writing-for-hours-on-end @lavender-writer @captainmandeestudent17 @whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning @imyourliquor-youremypoison @theolwebshooter @autumnlyholland @andreasworlsboring101 @guksmyfav @waiting-to-be-myself @letsloveimagines @ho-ho-holland @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @m19friend

#peter parker x reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #spider man: homecoming #spiderman x reader #iron man #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #peter parker fluff #peter parker x best friend!reader #peter parker x astrophilia!reader

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grimelords · 4 years

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So since the last time I posted one of these the entire world has changed dramatically and hopefully 4 hours of music will tide you over in quarantine for a bit longer. Strangely I’ve been busier than ever, and what started as a personal challenge to listen to a new album every day in February turned into me listening to 116 new albums in March and 124 in April. I’ve got a stacked google doc full of star ratings and dates now and it’s really been a lot of fun, I highly recommend trying it yourself. This is my March playlist, because I accidentally took a month off, and I’m thinking of either switching these playlists to weekly to make them a little more digestible or just dropping them whenever. Who knows. Let me know what you think and drop album recommendations in the comments please.

Listen here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0k1JjT8fXcUFO6VpM3kaez?si=gWSv88vdShKSnHhLJ_80pQ

If you’d like to receive these playlists in a more digestible email format, please subscribe to my tinyletter here: http://tinyletter.com/grimelords

On A Slow Boat To China - Bing Crosby & Peggy Lee: Ok first off it’s amazing this song isn’t more racist. I don't remember now how or why I came across this. I think I was just thinking about crooners and how as a genre it's now existed in common popularity as a nostalgic idyll of a mytholigised past far longer than it was ever actually popular which is interesting. The origin of this song, according to wikipedia, is also one of the most 40s ideas I've ever read: "I'd like to get you on a slow boat to China" was a well-known phrase among poker players, referring to a person who lost steadily and handsomely. The idea being that a "slow boat to China" was the longest trip one could imagine. Loesser moved the phrase to a more romantic setting, yet it eventually entered general parlance to mean anything that takes an extremely long time".

Fight Night - Migos: I saw that Offset had some new show on Quibi the extremely fake sounding streaming service and I thought "how did Migos get so world conqueringly large that they get to make 10 minute shows nobody will watch for a $2 billion venture capital funded app that will never make any money?" They seem to have this massive reputation without having much to back it up. The last thing I remember everyone talking about was how Culure II was two hours long in order to game streaming numbers and was simply not good. They seemed to have sort of settled into making background music for scrolling instagram. But then I remembered Fight Night and I thought: "oh wait, that's right, Migos are fucking great". Where their other big hits like Bad And Boujee and Walk It Talk It have this sort of laid back vibe where they've comfortably nailed the formula and relax onto it, Fight Night commands your attention. StackboyTwan killed the beat - it has this propulsive momentum where it feels like it's constantly ramping up, moving up from the sidesick and bassline in the verse, up to the claps on the beat, and the big gang chants on the offbeat once the full instrumentation kicks in - then it just goes around and around and around with the constant bassline the whole tim. It's a perfect all-rise production because it never actually explodes, it's all building tension held down by an unchanging bassline.

Do It Puritan! - El Hombre Trajeado & Sue Tompkins: I am extremely delighted to announce that Sue Tompkins of one of my all time favourite single album bands Life Without Buildings has broken a nearly 20 year musical hiatus to appear on this song by El Hombre Trajeado. It is so nice to hear how her voice has changed and her approach has stayed the same. Her style is so unique and so good and I don't think I'll ever get tired of it.

5 8 6 - New Order: Before 'the incident' I had tickets to see New Order at the end of March and so I embarked on a big listen through of their discography, which has now unfortunately made it feel even worse that live music is cancelled indefinitely.

Oom Sha La La - Haley Heynderickx: First of all I love songs where they talking about how they're writing a song halfway through. And I love songs that seem like a pretty normal singer songwriter indie thing where someone just starts screaming near the end. I love this song. A great staring at the wall and absolutely losing your mind because you haven't done anything with your whole life anthem.

Elektrobank - The Chemical Brothers: Can you believe I've never listening to a full Chemical Brothers album before this month? Can you believe big beat ever went our of style? It feels insane that we ever swapped this sort of energy for the beige algorithm of EDM. I think there's a real triumph in this album, and in this track especially of replicating the live feeling in studio. Giving it this much space to grow and change and get very hairy near the end is amazing, it feels like it was just recorded live.

My Mind's A Ship (That's Going Down) - Katie Pruitt: It feels very rare to me that this sort of extremely smooth Nashville prduction actually makes a song better. It has a habit of strangling the life out of a song and making it blend into a boring paste of soundalikes, but with Katie Pruitt it works amazingly. Her songwriting is so distinct and clear and her voice, especially near the end where it punches hole in the sky, is so strong and so her own that it doesn't need anything else.

Water - Ohmme: "What if Tegan And Sara were a noise band instead?" is a question I didn't know I needed an answer to. I love any band that has the guts to write songs like this that sound like pop from an alternate history, so off kilter and odd and noisy but with this undeniable pop heart that the duo vocals make sound like schoolyard clapping chants remixed by Lightning Bolt.

Lions, Tigers and Bears - SLIFT: A friend put me on to Slift and described them as French King Gizz and really, I'm inclined to agree. This is the traditional long last song at the end of their new album, and as usual I am advocating that every song should be the long last song at the end of the album. I love this style of jam where everyone else goes to space but the rhythm section just digs in and works hard as fuck for ten minutes. Then the whole last 3 minutes of the song are just fat drone riffs. This song's got everything.

The Pines - 070 Shake: This 070 Shake album is unbeleivably good and it warms my heart to see the dark energy of The Pines live on through another century in yet another permutation. I have more to say about it later in the Jackson C Frank version coming up but it feels like this 070 Shake album kind of came and went but I implore you to listen, it’s an aoty contender for sure.

Standing On The Verge Of Getting It On - Funkadelic: If you can stop thinking about the intro, which I certainly can’t (Hey lady won’t you be my dog and I’ll be your tree and you can pee on me.) there is so much goodness in this song. For a while now I’ve been thinking about how, for lack of a better word, ‘positive’ music is consistently underrated in the critical canon. Dance music, disco and funk especially are derided as empty sugar music, while every cookie cutter metal band absolutely demands to be taken seriously. In dance music this manifests as genres like tech house sucking all the fun and individuality out of music until it’s just an endless parade of producers working to a schematic of the barest essentials. It feels like you can’t have fun and be taken seriously at the same time, which feels like an obvious contradiction but shouldn’t be!

Spoils - Dry Cleaning: Dry Cleaning are my Lock Of The Month Band To Watch In The Future Because They’re Gonna Go Off. They have such a great sound and I’m desperate for an album because I just need more. This song absolutely knocked me down when I first heard it. I love any band where it sounds like the singer has just wandered in while the rest of them were rehearsing. There’s a very good talking-songs movement happening in the UK right now between these guys, Do Nothing and Fontaines D.C and i’m excited to see where it progresses. I might put together a playlist a little later to show you what I mean.

As - Stevie Wonder: I finally listened to Songs In The Key Of Life this month, which is an experience I would recommend to everyone. This shit goes for 21 songs over 105 minutes and absolute bangs the whole way. The original release of this album was a double LP plus a 7", which is yet another reason I am grateful for streaming that I don't have to buy a damn box set to hear this thing.

Sleep Now In The Fire - Rage Against The Machine: I am working on a very niche playlist called Songs Where The Guitar Amp Accidentally Picks Up A Nearby Radio Station For A Couple Of Seconds and it's only 3 songs so far. A Man A Plan A Canal Panama by The Fall Of Troy, Melody 4 by Tera Melos and Sleep Now In The Fire by Rage Against The Machine. In every single one of those songs it feels like a critical component even though it's just an accident that's been left in because it sounds good. Here it's the perfect ending as the rage dies down and the commercial world fades back in. Anyway, my other question about this song is about the great Michael Moore directed video where they famously shut down Wall Street for an afternoon. There's a shot of a guy for a second holding a sign that says Donald Trump For President in 1999. Which is odd but not out of the question, he's been famous for a long time and there's always been freaks. My question is why the fuck did he have that sign that day? Was he amongst the Rage Against The Machine Fans that showed up? A counter protestor? Was he, perhaps most chillingly of all, just walking idly around Wall Street with his Donald Trump For President sign like usual and stumbled upon this whole hoo-haa accidentally?

Applause (Purity Ring Remix) - Lady Gaga: Did you fucking know that Purity Ring did a remix of Applause? If there’s something I’d love to know more about and it’s Purity Ring’s forays into pop production. After their first album they did some production for rappers like Danny Brown in the great track 25 Bucks, which is a good fit really - their sound is witch house with the tempo pushed back up, witch house of course just being chopped and screwed reinvented by tumblr users. So it’s a natural fit to take that new perspective back into the world of hip hop. They also did this fantastic remix of Applause after their first album. Then, after their second album they produced 3 songs for Katy Perry’s Witness album, and one Katy Perry song for a Final Fantasy mobile game soundtrack (?) and feel like the long silence and delay between their second and third albums is because of more behind the scenes pop production work - but if that’s true, where is it? Is it, as I suspect, part of my own personal Pepe Silvia, Katy Perry’s scrapped 2019 album that has vanished into thin air? Or is it part of Chromatica? I think Purity Ring have solidified an interesting place in pop, paving the way for Billie Eilish and Kim Petras’ dark anti-pop and so i’m excited to see where they go after this new album now that they’re the architects of the new wave.

React/Revolt - Drahla: The smartest thing you can do is add a saxophone to your band. The whole first half of this song could go for 20 minutes of growling screaming saxophone post-punk and I wouldn't mind. Then when the second half of the song kicks in it's fantastic in the way this whole Drahla album is: it's tight and sprawling post-punk at the same time with a complicated structure that seems to just pile onto itself instead of ever circling back.

And I Was Like - Porridge Radio: I'm seemingly having a real thing this month for songs that open with a bizzare acapella chant. Between this and the Funkadelic one it's a genre I'm very interested in hearing more of. Isaac Newton was a virgin and it's important to recognise that. The thing I love about this song is how it's in 3 distinc sections: Isaac Newton was a virgin, she's a birthday girl in a birthday world, and mum no please it's grunge, and they all feel like the concentrated energy of a 14 year old's thoughts. She sounds like she's almost crying when she sings 'she's a birthday girl in a birthday world'. The concentrated confusing teenaged energy of this song is just overwhelming.

Dirty Mattresses - Mama's Broke: So much of contemporary 'traditional folk' either exists as pure nostalgia music or as music that's trying too hard to be 'authentic' and evoke a mythology of a bygone time, but Mama's Broke manage to make it feel new and modern but honest and authentic at the same time. The super close harmonies and modern approach remind me of House And Land who I also love, but the songwriting is in another class entirely.

Building A House - CHOPCHOP: I don't know if you've ever seen Bad Boy Bubby but CHOPCHOP feels a little like the band that he ends up joining at the end. A musical ensemble built to enable the will of a very strange man. I think the band is from the UK and I'm not sure where the singer is from, but he has this incredible deeply accented voice that brings such a gravity to everything he sings in the way that anyone speaking english as a second language accidentally brings new weight to common turns of phrase.

Universal Soldier - Jay Electronica: It feels fitting, looking back, that Jay Electronica finally released his album right before the world ended. It was literally now or never. Some how Jay-Z is the breakout star of this album for me. He's got some of his best verses in years on here and he's a great opposition to Electronica's flow when they trade verses. I would also, as an aside, like to know the origin of the kids cheering sample throughout this, because it's the same one from AM//Radio by Earl Sweatshirt and Wish You Were Gay by Billie Eilish. So what's that about.

Sticky Hulks - Thee Oh Sees: I've been very slowly getting into Oh Sees and I love them a lot so far. Their unweildy, huge discography spread across a lot of variations of the same name makes digging into them very rewarding as well. There's a great line on their wiki detailing all the times they've changed their name that goes: Orinoka Crash Suite (1997–2003), OCS (2003–2005, 2017), Orange County Sound (2005), The Ohsees (2006), The Oh Sees (2006–2008), Thee Oh Sees (2008–2017), Oh Sees (2017–2019) Osees (2019) to give you some idea of what we're working with here. Basically it's just everything you could want from a pychedelic band like this: a history and discography as shaggy as the songs themselves.

Knife On The Platter - BODEGA: In reading about Bodega I learned that they don't have a drummer in the traditional sense. They have someone credited as a 'stand up percussionist', and in listening back I realised that's they key to the groove in their music. He's not playing a kit he's just slamming at a tom and a snare on a rack, while one of the singers plays hi-hat here and there. So all the drumming has this barebones caveman feel to it and I absolutely love it. The band feels a lot like The Fashion, and that whole mid-2000s dance-punk movement that I've been desparate to come back so naturally I love it a lot.

Against Gravity - Horse Lords: Horse Lords are one of the most incredible bands I've heard in a long time. Somewhere between a more analogue Battles and Laddio Bolocko, they make a kind of churning math-jazz that sounds like huge intersecting squares of rhythm slowly overlapping. It feels like there's an infinite depth in these songs, you can listen and focus on a single instrument and see it shifting in and out of place with everyone else, before you lose it again and it retreats back into the swirling mass.

Plain To See Plainsman - Colter Wall: I've been listening to this Colter Wall album a lot, and it's really beginning to rank among my all time favourites. I grew up around the flattest place in the southern hemisphere, so I love the plains and it's very nice to have a cowboy song I can relate to like that.

The Nail - Sarah Shook & The Disarmers: Sarah Shook has so much character in her voice I completely love it. She is also a fantastic songwriter that manages to make outlaw country punk that sounds authentic and doesn't have the rockabilly posturing that a lot of the genre suffers from.

Inner Reaches 慾望的暗角二 - Gong Gong Gong 工工工: The best thing about Gong Gong Gong is you can listen to this whole song before you realise they don't have a drummer. They're a guitar and bass duo that play and sing with such a layered rhythmic intensity between the two of them that they really don't need one. A drummer would just clutter the space already taken up by their ferocious rhythm.

Country Pie - Bob Dylan: I'm a big fan of Bob Dylan's dumb songs. He has a lot where if it's the first song you ever heard from him you would be mad at whoever told you he was the greatest songwriter to ever live for trying to trick you like this. What I especially love about this song is how abruptly it ends, like dad just came home and everyone panicked cause they're know they're not supposed to be staying up that late.

You Did It Yourself - Arthur Russell: It seems hard to believe that I've only just found out about Arthur Russel. He seems to be a mainstay of Music Guy lists and somehow I've only heard of him this month. I've been obsessing over the Iowa Dream album, which is a compilation of a lot of different (mostly extremely high quality) demos from the late 70s to mid 80s and what really shines through other than the singular strength of his songwriting is how readily and easily he bends from country style folk to romantic piano ballads, to groovy post-punk like this. What I love so much about this song is it's a great lesson in songwriting: sometimes a song can just be a vague review of a middling movie and still have emotional resonance. Incredible. There's a great NPR article about Arthur Russel and the process of assembling half-takes and demos into complete recordings that you should read if you're interested. https://www.npr.org/2019/11/20/779721417/which-arthur-russell-are-we-getting-on-iowa-dream

The Dogs Outside Are Barking - Arthur Russell: I love this song because it's such a perfect distillation of a teenaged moment: trying to find a moment alone with someone when you have no freedom at all to create one. The song cycles through potential situations but leaves the problem unresolved, existing in the moment of nervous romantic tension preceding an unasked question and it's just beautiful.

Men For Miles - Ought: I love the vocal melody in the verse here so much. Spiking up unnaturally at the end of the lines like a nervous and strange version of The Strokes. Even the way he cramps his words in in the chorus is so good, switching registers randomly like he's impersonating someone else.

Mister Soweto - Lizzy Mercier Descloux: https://pitchfork.com/features/from-the-pitchfork-review/9828-lizzy-mercier-descloux-behind-the-muse/ Pitchfork has a great article about Lizzy Mercier Descloux detailing how she is continually undervalued and underappreciated. I found her though my Discover Weekly and became immediately obsessed with this album - a perfect mix of off-kilter 80s bass and brass that is so colourful and seems to move in a million directions at once like the songs can't even catch up with themselves sometimes. I'm excited to dig into her discography more and try to understand her more because she has a truly unique approach that I can't get enough of.

Sweden - Marilyn Crispell: I've been looking for a while for other pianists of Cecil Taylor's calibre, rare type that it is and I am so glad to have finally found out about Marilyn Crispell. She plays free jazz like Taylor, but in much less percussive and disonnant style. There's a New York Times quote that seems to follow her that says "Hearing Marilyn Crispell play solo piano is like monitoring an active volcano. She is one of a very few pianists who rise to the challenge of free jazz." and it's really very apt. She will move with seemingly no warning at all from mediative, colourful stokes to a mad descent unto uncertainty and beyond, then back again without a moments hesitation. Her music moves like a dream, linking a stream of unlinked images with an ease that only seems incongruous on reflection.

Twins - Gem Club: I have loved this song for a very long time and I come back to it over and over and appreciate it anew. What I appreciate about on listening to it this time is the strangeness of it's structure, following up the verse with an instrumental break, and then a long instrumental intro to the chorus gives it so much space to spread out and breathe, giving the beautiful gravity of the song even more weight. Then after the chorus it moves straight to a bridge and then the intro and first verse again. It's a fantastic song that makes it's small parts so large, where another songwriter or another producer would pare them down.

Grand Central - Paul Cauthen: Something I've learned in listening to a lot of cowboy music is that the number one thing that cowboys hate and fear is getting hanged. They hate it worse than cats hate getting sprayed with water. I found out about Paul Cauthen combing through Colter Wall's similar artists looking for more of this brand of new old fashioned country and I really found it here. Paul Cauthen comes from four generations of preachers and left the church to pursue country music instead, which feels like an extremely old fashioned position to be in here in 2020 but I guess lots of people in Texas still live like that, and thank god they do or we wouldn't have Paul Cauthen's big mournful Elvis voice to sing us songs about the railway.

Serafina - BAMBARA: I love this sort of spoken word leather jacket rock and roll. It's so extremely Cool in an old fashioned way. Like a more rock and roll version of Enablers.

So 4 Real - The Hecks: I love love love this song that sounds like a sped up Prince demo. The strange thinness of the mix and the way the vocals are buried just makes it sound so strange and great, like it was put together on some ancient 4 track recorder that can't handle the pure energy of the song.

In The Pines (Version 2) - Jackson C. Frank: There's a very good 3 hour compilation of Jackson C. Frank recordings that came out a few years called Remastered And Unreleased that I listened through the other day. It's just magnificent. This version of In The Pines is one of my favourite I've ever heard, the mournful vocals coupled with his churning rhythm guitar really brings out the darkness of it in a way I've never heard.

(Tumble) In The Wind (Version 1) - Jackson C. Frank: Another favourite from this compilation that is slightly hard to listen to. I don't know if there's a date on it but I'd guess this was recorded near the end of his life. It is so beautiful, but you can hear in his voice and breathing that he's unwell. In Horseshoe Crabs by Hopalong she sings a story from his perspective this song really seems to fit in the second half of that. "Woke from the dream and I was old / Staring at the ass crack of dawn / Walked these streets up and down / Looking for Paul Simon / All I found was myself, lost in time / I tried singing my songs / But I lost my mind"

Sludge - Squid: I'm thinking of putting together a playlist of all the great Black Midi-adjacent bands I've found out about recently and Squid is at the top of the list. This new breed of art-punk is so fantastic and goes in a million different directions. I'm just so excited it exists.

Straight Shot - Quelle Chris: I love this song and Guns is a phenomenal album but there’s one thing bothering me. The ‘who are you, what are you’ part at the end sounds so incredibly familiar to me and I can’t figure out why. As far as I can tell it’s not a sample, but googling reveals that the english voice on it is fucking James Acaster the standup comedian. So what’s going on? Quelle Chris himself is less than helpful: “Straight Shot is one of those ideas that reached out to me, we got along and I simply showed it around town. The chorus, poem at the end and basic piano progression literally came to me in two separate dreams”. Who knows. Great song though.

Levitation - Dua Lipa: What I really like about this song is that she says sugarboo. This whole album bangs and Dua is really reaping the benefits of being the only pop star with the guts to release an album while everyone’s in lockdown I also have a half-baked theory about the way this song is almost interpolating Blame It On The Boogie in the ‘moonlight, starlight’ part as a sort of aggressive takeover of Michael Jackson’s cancelled legacy. Which is smart really. The same way Taylor Swift is re-recording her albums, let’s just get The Weeknd in the studio for a couple of days and give the world back it’s bangers.

Another Crashed Car - Nine Inch Nails: I am so glad Trent Reznor put out another two volumes of Ghosts. Ghosts I-IV from 2008 seems to have been the bridge from his Nine Inch Nails work to his film score work, and now that he’s had such success with that it’s nice to hear him writing in this style without telling anyone else’s story again. It’s also interesting for him to go back to this project now that Ghosts I-IV has paid dividends in the form of the sample at the centre of Old Town Road but that’s neither here nor there. It’s hard to pick and individual track from these, because they work so effectively as long form albums and not individual tracks, but I chose this one because I put the album on as background ambient while I was doing some boring data entry at work and this track is the point at which I realised I was going out of my mind with stress from doing the simplest tasks because of Trent’s Damned Chords.

Lilacs - Waxahatchee: This is a perfect song. It makes me want to like, draw charts about it and go through it bar by bar to figure out how she did it. It’s perfectly put together. It feels like she uses every trick in the book and it just comes together flawlessly in 3 minutes. Amazing.

Cool Water - Hank Williams: I decided to properly listen to Hank Williams because his shadow stretches over so much of country music, and while a lot of his music really alienated or bored me, and a lot of his songs feel like they would read as novelty songs today (like Hey Good Looking), this is the song that made me understand why he’s so revered.

In My Bones (feat. Kimbra and Tank And The Bangas) - Jacob Collier: Jacob Collier generally irks me. He makes brain music for redditors that lose their mind when someone shows them chord inversions or odd time signatures. Youtubers whose whole personality is ‘y’all heard Giant Steps?’ But he killed it on this song. It’s great despite him. There’s still a lot of corniness to work through, mostly in the big yuck funky lyrics, but structurally it’s a kaleidoscope and a big chunk of its success I’m putting down to Kimbra and Tank who understand that performance is a bigger part of a song than composition in a way Collier maybe doesn’t yet. He can overload the bassline and stop-start the rhythms as much as he likes but without actual personalities driving it it’ll just sound like a Peter Gabriel midi played at 200%.

Earthquake - Graham Central Station: I learned something wonderful in researching this band. The leader, Larry Graham, who was in Sly And The Family Stone is credited with inventing slap bass. He himself refers to the technique as "thumpin' and pluckin' ".

Quand Les Larmes D’un Ange Font Danser La Neige - Melody’s Echo Chamber: Once again furious that I’ve known of Melody’s Echo Chamber for years but never listened to them until now. I have been missing out. This is a perfect sprawling psychedelic jam punctuated with a bizzare cut-up recording about shitting yourself when you die and being declared brain dead in the vatican. It’s got everything. I had to look up who the drummer was on this song because he’s just nailing it, and it turns out it’s Johan Holmegaard from Dungen which is really a perfect fit.

Murder Most Foul - Bob Dylan: I was thinking the other day about how Bob Dylan is doing in quarantine. The man who hasn’t stopped moving his whole life and who’s been on a never ending tour since the 70s is now, I assume, just pacing a hole in a hotel carpet somewhere and jabbering to himself. The strangest part of Bob dropping this 17 minute song about JFK out of nowhere is that he hasn’t put out any original music since 2012. So a gigantic song like this is an even bigger surprise. I, already a huge fan of gigantic songs and Bob Dylan, unsurprisingly love it. I love the slow stirring of the instrumentation, like he hired Dirty Three as a backing band and I love that nearly the entire second half is just listing good songs that he knows. It’s a remarkable song and unlike anything i’ve heard before from Dylan or anyone else. It’s interesting to hear Bob Dylan step into being the great chronicler of the 60s like he’s been told he already was his entire life almost 50 years later, finally accepting the fate foisted on him. The other thing I love about this song is the line when he for some reason praises Lee Harvey Oswald’s shooting “Greatest magic trick ever under the sun / Perfectly executed, skillfully done”

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0k1JjT8fXcUFO6VpM3kaez?si=gWSv88vdShKSnHhLJ_80pQ

#playlists

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arcticdementor · 4 years

Link

Then-mayor Mike Bloomberg famously described New York City in 2003 as a “luxury product,” and therefore priced accordingly. The price hasn’t changed, except to go up slightly — taxes, rents, everything. But few would argue that the product New York offers remains first-rate. The theaters are closed. The nightlife is severely restricted. The restaurants have been forced to move outside, inches away from the exhaust pipes of passing trucks. Oh, and New York City has experienced one of the worst and deadliest outbreaks of the novel coronavirus in the entire world, followed by mass rioting and looting and an accompanying routine-crime spree that remains ongoing. The streets are filthy and covered with makeshift encampments and used hypodermic needles. It’s time for a major markdown of this beaten-up item. If mid-2020 New York City were on a supermarket shelf, it would not merely have been discounted, it would have been thrown in the Dumpster, like moldy bread.

This week Governor Andrew Cuomo begged New York City residents to return to the city in the most shameless act of wheedling by a New Yorker since Mars famously importuned Nola, in Spike Lee’s She’s Gotta Have It, “Please baby, please baby, please baby, baby, baby please.” Used to live in NYC but have lately found the suburbs, or points south, more congenial? Andrew Cuomo will cook you dinner if you come back.

“I literally talk to people all day long who are now in their Hamptons house who also lived here, or in their Hudson Valley house, or in their Connecticut weekend house and I say, ‘You got to come back!’” Cuomo said Monday. “‘We’ll go to dinner! I’ll buy you a drink! Come over, I’ll cook!’”

“I’ll buy you a drink” is the cringiest of those promises since Cuomo has been closing dozens of bars for not complying with his arbitrary virus-related diktats, which include requiring tipplers to order food in accordance with some known-only-to-him provision of the coronavirus that confers immunity via purchase of a Caesar salad. But he’s probably right about one thing: All of the people who are eager to move back to New York City could indeed probably fit in his dining room right now. It has finally occurred to Andrew Cuomo that the months-long electronic tongue-bath he received from media outlets such as CNN, which in the midst of the carnage pushed forward his own brother to serve as his interlocutor/publicist/comedy sidekick, has not fooled New Yorkers of means. Scads of the wealthiest have fled, and they are in no rush to return.

…

Both New York and New Jersey have higher COVID-19 death rates than any single country; New Jersey has the worst death toll of any political entity on earth, with New York coming second, and in both cases deaths could be overlaid on the paths of mass-transit systems. So New Yorkers are understandably nervous about returning to the subways and commuter trains, and most people are not willing or able to get to work by bike or foot. There isn’t enough room on the city’s grid for everyone to get around in cars, and de Blasio hates cars anyway, and has been tearing up streets to limit and frustrate motor-vehicle drivers in the interests of the handful of eccentrics who enjoy bicycling to the office.

Like a toddler who can’t resist seeing what will happen if he sticks his finger into a light socket, de Blasio followed up Cuomo’s comments by saying New York can do without all of those nasty rich people. “I was troubled to hear this concept that because wealthy people have a set of concerns about the city that we should accommodate them — that we should build our policy and approaches around them,” de Blasio said Thursday, when asked about Cuomo’s begging. “That’s not how it works around here anymore,” he proclaimed. “This city is for people who live here, work here, fight to make this place better. . . . There’s a lot of New Yorkers who are wealthy, who are true believers in New York City, and will stand and fight with us — and there’s some who may be fair-weather friends,” he added. “But we must build our policies around working people.” De Blasio is facing a $15 billion budget gap yet proposes to spend $18 billion more this year than was spent in the last year that Bloomberg was mayor, wasting New Yorkers’ money on things like a mental-health boondoggle he threw together to give his wife something to do. Naturally he is again vowing to soak the rich, as he has long threatened to do, though he’s been largely blocked by the governor to this point.

At least Andrew Cuomo, pathetic as he is, grasps something Bill de Blasio does not: You can’t execute a shakedown on people who aren’t there. Florida is open for business, and for New Yorkers this summer has been like the moment when the dinosaurs learn to open the door in Jurassic Park. The city’s highest-paid workers have realized they can get all their work done remotely, and the knob that opens the door to Florida is staring them in the face.

#national review #kyle smith #new york

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chocojjk · 5 years

Text

cafes and pinky promises

summary: bff! felix → idol! felix ,,, like i said , i suck at summaries

words: 2.8k

a/n: yall im on a roll, i really don't know why im writing so much these past few days but enjoy,, i hope

not edited, per usual

as you entered your favorite cafe, you never expected to come face to face with the boy who filled up every second of your thoughts

in fact, it was the very boy that has created so many memories with you in this same exact place

you wanted to go up to him, to see how he was doing, ask him how idol life been treating him but you found yourself glued to the floor, unable to move

every single memory with him suddenly flashing in mind

the two of you met back in middle school

it was the typical story

you were the new kid in school,

didn't have any friends,,

sat alone at lunch,,,

then one day he came up to you wearing his brightest smile, the freckles upon his cheeks shining up like the stars in the sky

“hi, im felix”

(❁´◡`❁)

and the rest was history

you guys became the best of friends, practically glued to the hip

but let’s skip all that friendship fluff and fast forward to second year of high school

you guys have been best friends for a good four years now

one of the things that you guys love doing is going to the cafe a little out of town

the cafe had free wifi and barely any people so it became a routine to just go there after school and goof around

dont get me wrong, you guys do homework too

#getyoureducationkids

also like #fuckthesystem

anyways,,,,

since you guys were the smartest in your class, it never really took that long to finish homework and instead you guys would just have fun listening to music, telling bad jokes, watching a show on netflix, and sometimes even just playing rock paper and scissors

there’s never a dull moment between the two of you

honestly if it wasn’t for you and felix, the cafe would probably be out of business

even the owner knew you two

she was the sweetest old lady, always giving you guys extra cookies and letting you stay for as long as you can

she would also always joke around about how you two would make the cutest couple, comparing the two of you to her and her husband who were high school sweethearts

being young, the thought first made you wanna vomit

like ew,,, boys are gross

but as you grew older, you started seeing the boy in a different light

the small touches and the hand holding suddenly started to have meaning

everytime he laughed, it was music to your ears

his freckles became the most beautiful thing in the world, and you loved tracing each one of them

sure, you guys have had your own share of petty fights but at the end of the day it did nothing but strengthen the friendship that you two share

there were never any secrets

(((besides of course these feelings that were growing but shh we dont speak of that)))

you knew felix like the back of your hand and vice versa

and you could just see yourself spending every moment with him in the upcoming future

until of course one day,

“y/n, i need to tell you something but pinky promise you won’t get mad?”

“felix every time someone says that, people tend to be mad”

“y/n just pinky promise me you wont”

“ok, i pinky promise, now what is it??”

felix was absolutely terrified

he’s been meaning to tell you this for a while but every time he tried he just couldn't find the words to do so

and god, how he has let time pass him by

“im moving to korea”

you bursted out laughing and felix is confused as heck like?????

whats??

so ???

funny????

“seriously lix, you made me pinky promise not to be mad over a joke??”

you see, pinky promises may seem like a childish thing but it was sacred between the two of you

so when he used it over a joke, you just couldn’t help but let out a few couple giggles

however, as you turned to face him and saw the serious expression written on his face you found yourself at loss for words

“wait, are you serious?”

“yeah”

“wh-when are you leaving?”

“in a month”

“h-how long have you known???”

“ummmm” (´･_･`)

“felix.”

“Since we went to the park”

the park

you remembered that day, it was probably one of the happiest days of your life

you passed your math test with a perfect score and has just become the student body president of your class

on top of that, felix decided he wanted to treat you out for ice cream as he was proud of his best friend

what you didnt know was that this was the day that would change everything

this was the day he was scouted

the day he received the news that he was accepted as a trainee

and hes been finding a way to tell you

but he just couldn't

you were completely over the moon

as you guys were sitting on the swings, your hands occupied with your own ice cream cones

felix started talking about his dance team and choir class

you always knew how much he enjoyed those classes

yet as he talked about his passion, his eyes twinkling and his mouth curving into the softest smile, you truly got a grasp on how much your best friend loved music and performing

you can't help but think back to a few days ago, when your friend brought up how much your eyes sparkled talking about felix

you wondered if you looked the same as how felix looked now, talking about the things that he loved to do

and then it hit you

you were in love with your best friend

god reader, how cliche could you be (●'◡'●)ﾉ♥

“felix, that was two months ago.”

to say you were mad was an understatement,, you were filled with rage

anger and disappointment all just combining into one

suddenly the future that you clearly saw vanished because every single one of those versions had the boy by your side

“im sorry”

not knowing how to respond, you started packing up your things in your backpack

felix just watching you do so, thinking of things to say to make the situation at hand better

once you stood up, he snapped out of his thoughts, worry completely washing over his eyes

“where are you going?”

“im going home.” you say emotionlessly

“let me walk you”

“no”

and that was the last of it

he tried calling you several times after that yet all he was left with was your voicemail

every time he approached you at school, you would walk the other way

every day he would show up at the cafe hoping to see your face, yet that day never came because you stopped going

you figured it’d be easier to let him go if you just stayed mad at him

you figured that your feelings would automatically go away if you replaced them with hate

but reader, you were so wrong

the day came when he finally had to go

that day was painfully hard for you

your whole class was bidding him goodbye, and all you could do was watch from the sidelines, your pride way too high to forgive him now

no one really knew about your guys’ fall out as you found it was better to keep things to yourself than become the schools new gossip

and so when everyone started asking you how you felt, you responded with the most generic answers

“whatever makes him happy, im happy”

oh reader, you are such a liar

it wasn't until a year after, that you truly forgave him

and that was because a classmate of yours barged into the room, waving her phone around

“Guys remember felix!, well he’s an idol now!!”

as soon as you got home that day, you searched up his name, and there he was

Lee Felix

Stray Kids

and you realized how stupid you’ve been

you never even bothered asking him why he was leaving

you cried yourself to sleep that night as you look back on the wasted friendship that you threw down the drain

but you figured that there was no point in being sad over it anymore

you were done holding grudges

so the next day you went back to the cafe and binged the survival show that your best friend, well ex best friend, was in

the sweet old day was overjoyed when she saw your familiar face

she asked you where your partner in crime was and with a genuine smile you responded with “he’s out there doing bigger and greater things”

ever since then, you made the cafe a weekly trip

it hurt you to know that you spent your time resenting him so you made a pinky promise to yourself, that even if he didnt know, you would support him no matter what

you ended up buying all their albums

watching their vlives

staying up late for their debuts

hell, you've even gon to the point of making a stan account just to be be updated

which brings you to now

you knew that felix was in australia, they were having a concert here

you even got a ticket for yourself, not close enough where he could see you of course

you were still ashamed of your actions even though it’s been almost two years

so when you walked in the cafe and saw him with his 8 buds seated in your guys’ usual spot, you definitely didn't know how to react

seeming as they haven't spotted you yet, you quickly made your way out the door

however, Elise, the sweet old lady, had other plans

“y/n, honey, leaving so quickly?”

and that was when 9 heads turned to the door

all 18 eyes just looking at you

‘fuck y/n okay just act cool’

‘youre fine’

‘maybe they don't even notice you’

‘omg speak’

“y/n?” felix says, his deep voice breaking you out of your thoughts

“felix?? Hi!!!” you say, giving him the biggest fake smile ever

it’s not that you wanted to okay, it was just a very awkward situation and you have no idea how to act

‘smooth y/n, so smooth’

I swear if you could facepalm yourself, you’d be doing so with both of your hands + the hands of the 7 billion people on this earth

“uhm hi?,” he replies, obviously confused as to why you suddenly acknowledged his existence

truth to be told, he was expecting you to ignore him just like all the other times before

“well, won't you look at that, my two musketeers are back together,” Elise butts in,

“ah, it's just like the old days, would you guys like some cookies???” she says, a soft smile on her face

“no that's okay El, im heading out soon anyways, can i just have the usual caramel macchiato?” you say quickly, ignoring the awkward tension in the air

“sure thing hon”

and as she goes to the back to make your order, you were left with the 9 boys

welp

its now or never

“uhm, when did you get back?”

you ask, your hands automatically playing with the hem of your shirt, a clear sign that you were nervous

“im just here for the week”

“oh,,, nice”

“Yeah”

(>_<)

the other boys just sitting in silence, going back and forth between the two of you

they know exactly who you are, and trust me, they arent your biggest fans

which is exactly why they chose to not break the awkward tension in the air

and you swear, you wish you can just have the earth open up and swallow you whole

“hon, heres your order!”

oh thank god,,

Elise is your savior

even though you wouldnt even be in this situation if it wasnt for her

you quickly grab your drink and make your way out,,, but not before saying

“uhm, it was nice seeing you again lix,” you say, this time, a genuine smile on your face

◐ˍ◑

when felix heard the nickname that you've once given him, he couldn't believe his ears

great job reader, you’ve left him stunned

taking his silence as a response, cause youre kinda a dumbass, you nodded to him and the other boys and left the cafe

however as you made your way to your car

something clicked inside of you

,,,,

fuck it

,,,,

you ran back to the cafe, grabbing the door wide open at the same exact time that felix pushed it open

which caused him to stumble right on top of you, your coffee being thrown a whole meter away

at least it wasn't on your shirt

“omygod im so sorry! are you okay?” he asks, picking you up and checking you for bruises

and youve realized that he hasnt changed one bit

he’s still your best friend felix

the same felix that treats you with so much love and care

the same felix you fell in love with all those years ago

and you couldnt help but let out a tear

this worried felix even more

“what is it?? whats wrong???”

you were blown out sobbing at this point

“Im ๑•́ㅿ•̀๑) ᔆᵒʳʳᵞ ”

“huh??”

“im so sorry felix, i-”

your emotions not allowing you to create a single coherent sentence

but because felix still knew you like the back of his hand, he knew exactly what you were talking about

“lets go inside okay”

all you could do was nod and let him guide you to your usual spot that was now empty

grabbing a couple napkins, he wipes your tears away for you before you finally became conscious of what was happening and took control

“I didnt know you still came to this cafe?” he says, finally breaking the silence

“yeah uhm, i started coming back,”

“why?”

“I-i guess i just missed you”

“I thought you hated me”

“No,” you say quickly, that was the last thing you wanted him to think

“i didnt hate you, i was just angry and sad and i acted upon those emotions. I was stupid, im sorry”

“its okay, i understand, youre not stupid y/n”

god damn it,,

why is this guy so nice,,

“no felix, it's not okay. we were best friends, i should have talked to you. I-i shouldnt have cut you off like that especially when i didnt even give you a chance to explain yourself”

damn okay reader, admitting to your mistakes, im p r o u d

“Its all in the past now y/n”

“can you forgive me for being a bitch?” 👉👈

This got a chuckle from felix

“as long as you can forgive me for keeping a secret from you” he replies, shooting you a smile

you smile back at him

“ive forgiven you a long time ago lix”

,,,,

felix has stopped malfunctioning

“ive missed you,” he says grabbing your hand from across the table and holding it the way he used to

“ive missed you too,,, so much,,, im so proud of you,”

“proud of me?”

“yeah, youve finally done what youve always dreamt of”

“you know?”

“of course i know lix, youre everywhere!”

“it kinda sucks how you know whats been going on in my life and i dont know a single clue about yours”

“I can always catch you up!” you say excitedly, but as you see the sad smile that began to etch his way onto his face, you see that that’s not the case

“busy schedule?” you question

“yeah” he replies, the grip on your hand becoming tighter, almost like he doesnt want to let go

“thats okay, im sure we’ll find some time,” you say maintaining the positive energy

right on cue, chan peeps his head in the door

“Felix we have to go now, i tried convincing them to give you more time but were already running behind schedule”

“aish” felix replies as his tears suddenly made his way down

he gets up and pulls you into a bone crushing hug as you breathe in his scent, taking it all in

“im sorry i have to go so soon”

“thats okay felix, ill always be here”

“i hope i can see you again before I leave,”

“oh dont worry, you will” you say, a big smile on your face

“what do you mean?”

“just watch out for me at the concert, yeah?”

“youre coming???!!!!??”

“yep, already got my ticket!”

and you swear youve never seen felix smile so brightly before

“you pinky promise?”

“I pinky promise.”

#lee felix #lee felix imagine #lee felix au #lee felix blurb #stray kids felix #lee felix x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids blurb #stray kids au #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #lee felix fluff #lee felix angst #stray kids lee felix #stray kids soft #stray kids scenario #stray kids ships #stray kids

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twiststreet · 5 years

Quote

Joaquin Phoenix’s “Joker” scored a record $13.3 million on Thursday night in North America. [...] The Joaquin Phoenix-starrer is now looking at a possible offshore weekend bow of $110M+. If that holds, along with domestic expectations, it is also looking at a $200M+ global opening, and further has a shot at overtaking Venom‘s 2018 record October global debut. [...] Weeks of speculation as to ‘Joker’s’ opening weekend performance and its status as one of the most talked about movies of the year have made the acclaimed (and controversial) film a must-see cinematic event,” Comscore senior media analyst Paul Dergarabedian said.

Feel like Rambling Instead of Doing My Chorin’ Dept.: I have zero interest in this Joker movie since I prefer cinema and/or low-grade Japanese pornography (which in my estimation is cinema in the Scorsese of sense of the word because you learn a lot about psychology, the punishing psychology of sempais). I have zero interest in like adult super-clown movies or whatever the fuck’s going on here-- and I don’t want to understand the psychology of someone who doesn’t have enough sex, I’m just too afraid that letting those kind of thoughts into my head might make me slightly less excellent at intercourse and the world would be robbed forever (Ladies). And add in even a remote chance of some shiny chrome War Boy blowing away my theater...? Imma pass. The only Batman villain I’m risking death for is Egghead...

But boy, watching people talk about and around this movie-- what a giant pile of yikes, which has ended exactly how all moral panics about art invariably end, with a giant pile of cash changing hands. And only “We want to generate TV ratings from normal people who hate arty shit we usually reward”-style award nominations no doubt await (aka the Black Panther slot).

What a stupid time to be alive... Its always been a stupid time to be alive because we’re not a really brilliant species, but I mean... moral panics over super-clown movies which are poised to make hundreds of millions of dollars where the moral panic isn’t just “oh my god it’s a billboard you can see from outer space about how we stopped funding our education system”... Boy...

I mean, I don’t think everyone was in bad faith, necessarily-- like if I were a lady who had to worry about incels coming and blowing away my yoga class or whatever, everytime I’m downward-facing my dogs, I’d probably be kinda not super-hot for a Joker movie either, like the world needs one more thing zooming-up the limp-dicks of this world. Or I mean, just generally, on the one hand, you want to talk about the world, right, because you live there or whatever? But on the other hand, it’s that thing you learn if you write about comics, especially-- being the guy talking about the thing just helps the thing, no matter what you say about it. I don’t know-- I never figured out how to square that circle. Like, I don’t know that I’m the audience for a lot of the moral panic, but it’s not like it was unreasonable for people to be like “can’t we just not”...

It just fucking got pretty wild in the last few days though-- because it got sucked into a second entirely different jetstream. You had the “Art is the exact same thing as an instruction manual for stupid people” elitism that kinda kicked off by that awful Mother Jones editor, or people who just want to childproof the entire world because they desperately think that’s a necessary response to living in a horror world (which I don’t think I sign up for but I can see my “we are all damned anyway and deserve to die” position not winning a lot of adherents)... but then thanks to the weird-ass marketing strategy (positioning Joker explicitly as a weapon in the Great American Culture War...? That’s how they sold Lady Ghostbusters, “come see this movie to send a message”, but it was just weird seeing a Reverse-Ghostbust)... it got sucked into the constant thriving secondary hum on the internet of unfunny people who are super-online and who have a constant axe to grind about comedy, because they don’t get jokes, don’t understand why people laugh at them or anything, and they’re narcissists who think we’re all actually laughing at them when we laugh at jokes because they’re so fucking insecure about their outsized-perception of themselves especially as victims?

At some point it just wound its way where a lot of people going “The Hangover wasn’t funny to begin with, even though it was one of the highest grossing R-Rated comedies ever made, because we’re all evolved now”-- arguing that movie’s half-billion dollars of revenue generated all magically rendered meaningless cause the director said some stupid-ass jackass shit...? Yeah, good luck with that. “Did you know the Hangover had Mike Tyson in it??? The internet’s going to win this fight against one of the biggest comedy hits of my lifetime, ten years later-- how dare people have laughed, according to me, someone who sounds totally normal and cool and fun to be around? I’m going to buy two tickets to the next movie by the Thor guy-- he’s making anti-hate satires-- why can’t you all be like a guy who makes fucking Thor movies?” Maybe I’m wrong, I’m on the side I’m on, but I just don’t think the internet’s going to win this nonstop war against jokes, no matter how many anti-hate satires the Thor guy’s got in him! (Anti-hate satire... go fuck yourself...)

And then the other side of things you had people who are like “nothing ever matters wheeee” where you just have to ignore, like, just the completely stupid world we’re stuck in full of absolute shitheads who obviously have us all surrounded and just are nontop dripping abject fucking brain-deadening bullshit into their ear, day after day, like Chinese Water Torture that these cretins are lining up to take part in, just salivating for to help make the world that much dumber and shittier, happy New York Comicon everybody! We really need Joker when there are 10 hour Youtube videos of guys complaining about a lady working the counter at Wendy’s who turned down their extra-large bottle of perfume they bought her or I don’t even know what the fuck’s going on with Youtube, nevermind games-- we really needed to make that avalanche of stupid any scarier or stupider..? I mean, “shit in, shit out” seems kinda like a reasonable proposition to me. You can’t feed people shit all day and then be like “why does this place smell?” It’s all the shit! I call it my Carl’s Jr. theory of human civilization.

But I mean, you look at the massive loneliness in the world, and even a cursory examination of what’s happening with men in this country statistically, at the same time as all kinds of people are getting stepped onby economic pressures and then you layer on climate change on top of everything else which kinda has to put some kinda dampener on human optimism generally, even if crazy people want to pretend it’s not happening... And then you’re going to tell people not to want entertainment that goes to a dark place, or that the movie they should see instead is Ad Astra (which was just Star Wars for men who hate their penises)??? “You should spend more time contemplating how being a man is bad, like Brad Pitt in Ad Astra.” A lot of people online (and not just Republicans) just seem angry and isolated and disconnected and sad, and I just don’t think “what if we tried to not have art or entertainment that speaks to that and instead gave them a DVD of Booksmart instead” is just even remotely realistic, or even worth contemplating, from a how-people-function standpoint. People who get upset about art being a valve, like ... I don’t understand how they comprehend the history of art in the 20th century, let alone modern day stuff...

Is there going to be a violent cost to it? I don’t know-- you go look at Falling Down’s wikipedia page and they mention a guy who shot up some folks whose favorite movie was Falling Down. But... I think there’s a gap between knowing that and then judging Falling Down for it, or that being a relevant data point when talking about Falling Down, that I don’t go over that gap and other people do. Maybe it’s my age or my own selfishness, I don’t know...

I don’t know. As usual, maybe I don’t know what I think. Anyways, it’s at least nice that it’s finally out and we just have to wait and see what the next bullshit-ass bullshit that causes some moral panic is going to be. There was cancelling Stephen Colbert because a hashtag inventor told people he hated Asians or some shit. There was people saying Isle of Dogs hated the Japanese. Bruce Lee’s daughter yelling at Once Upon a Time in Hollywood -- that was cute, I guess; I guess Bruce Lee’s no longer a public figure who we can comment on and re-purpose as artists have been doing since Warhol or before, because Bruce Lee came in his wife one time, good to know. I can’t remember all the panics with stand-up comedians, all that stuff, whoof. There was that time people got angry cause a guy on Youtube didn’t want to see the Lady Ghostbuster movie-- that’s not even an exaggeration there was like one youtube guy everyone got mad at. I don’t know. We’ve reached evil super-clowns. I don’t know how much stupider things can get, only that they will get infinitely, infinitely, infinitey stupider until the sun melts us because we’re definitely not surviving climate change, this isn’t a species built to last...

Anyways, felt like rambling.

#I am Pointless!

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jellno · 5 years

Text

ljn | beyond the universe

words: 1.1k

tags: fluff; domestic!au

a/n: this one inspired by @jenobyeol ‘s blurb (I just gotta write this when she uploaded that blurb) anyway she’s awesome you should check her out :) and I am suck at ending.I am also suck at title. Someone better help me with this lol

“Write me a song, yeah?”

Jeno chuckled, looking down at his sock-wrapped feet. When he brought his face back up, his eyes was searching for yours. He shook his head—fluffy hair swaying right to left, “No.”

The air conditioner was way too noisy for the sake of your sanity. It was an old one, along with the bunk bed the dorm had provided. But it was scorching hot outisde, there was no way you could survive with just a ceiling fan. Jeno, on the other side of the room, didn’t really mind about it at all. That boy was too absorbed with his new acoustic guitar with edgy stickers stuck on the back of it’s body. His attention had been drained by his guitar since you arrived to his dorm, playing various genre of music he could test on it. Not noticing the adoring look you threw at him every once in a while.

When Jeno messaged you earlier to come over, you thought something had happened since he usually the type to come over to your place. Turned out he just wanted to show you off his new piece of instrument and indirectly serenade you with the harmonies his fingers created on the guitar. But you didn’t mind, spending time with Jeno no matter what you guys doing was always a good thing.

“Why not, Lee Jeno?” You put on your pouting face, earning cresents sculpted above his cheeks. “I know you write one for Bongshik.”

“You might not like it.” Jeno huffed. “I know you wont like it.”

You scoffed. You knew it better than anyone that Lee Jeno was almost flawless. He made almost no mistakes at everything he did. His exams’ results are always spot on, Lee Jeno aced them with flying colors. He played the violin and made it to be a concertmaster at one of the university’s orchestra event, although he hadn’t had the chance to be a soloist, you knew one day he will.

Lee Jeno was also right about anything. It irritated you sometimes, because your petty argument with him would end up with you being wrong and him being right most of the time.

But you didn’t think he was right this time.

“You can’t be right about everything.”

He didn’t answered. Beside expanding his smile even wider, he got up and put down the guitar you knew he had been holding since forever to the side of his bed. Jeno climbed onto your side and nuzzled his face to your neck. You carefully sliped off his glasses and placed it on the bed side. You clutched your hand with Jeno’s, feeling the calloused part of his palm with yours.

All of those feeling you had with Jeno is unbearable. You met him through a friend roughly four three years ago. Getting to know him only a couple month after your first encounter. Dating him for only a year. Yet here you were, feeling like you knew him all your life. His favorite white tees, his calloused palms, his ripped jeans, the red flannel his Mom bought him, the way he scrunches his nose, his allergics towards the cats, the way his body moves against you, his way of caring, his I love yous, everything and anything about him felt familiar. It felt like a home.

“Stop thinking, be here with me,” Jeno mumbled over your skin. His warm breath tingled you.

“I am.”

“No, your mind was somewhere but here with me.”

He was right once again.

“Oh fine you attention whore, you have me and my whole damn mind now.” you pushed him away to bury yourself in his chest. “What do you want from me? Texted me to come just to make me watch you making out with your new toy.”

“What? Are you jealous of my guitar? Really?” his body was shaking from his laughed. He cupped your face and tilted it up, making you directly staring at him. “Go ahead, I ditched my guitar. I’m all yours now.”

“Kiss me, maybe?”

Jeno let out a chuckle before colliding his lips with yours in the sweetest way possible. He took his time with this one. His hand travelled to your nape while the other one came down to your waist as his lips molded your lower lip. You threw your hand around his neck, caressing the end of his hair, giving him permission to deepen the kiss.

And as much as you hate cuddling in a hot sticky air, you love Jeno’s kisses regardless the weather. You wouldn’t dare to trade it with anything else the world could offer.

You pulled away, regaining oxygen as much as you can while Jeno’s thumb wiped off the trace you left from the messy kiss on your lips. You rested your palm flat on his chest, feeling his heart beating fast.

“Your face are burning red.”

“Should’ve seen yours.”

He giggled, one hand still staying on your waist. Jeno smiled. The smile you had seen a billion times in the pan of one year relationship yet still made your guts twitched every single time. And before you knew it, his mouth moved, mouthing I love you into the thin air between the of you.

“Why wont you write me a song then?”

Jeno hummed to your question. There was a slight expression change on his face, you could sensed it. And it did concern a bit out of you. His serious look wont washed away when he bit his lips and pressing them in a straight line.

“I don’t think you deserve it.”

“What?”

“No, no, wait,” Jeno realised he just made a sentence out of wrong words. He furrowed his brows along with stuttering voice, “You... you deserve the whole world, I swear to God, you do.”

You raised your eyebrows, still asking for explaination. To be completely honest, you were lost. If you did deserve the world then why didn’t you deserve a song dedicated for you.

“You are the only person on this planet that could make me feel things, Y/N. And all these feelings I have for you, I dont think any language in the world can describe them precisely.” Jeno took a deep breath, “I’m afraid my limited vocabulary and music skill would lessen the meaning. I don’t even think Ed Sheeran could make a song about my feelings for you. They’re beyond this universe.”

It only took you two seconds before you crashed his lips against yours. Jeno was right. Again. Your limited knowledge of language could not possibly describe how you feel right now. Your limited choices of vocabulary could never possibly describe how it feels to have him by your side, to have his hands grasping your hips and moved them against him.

Lee Jeno was right, not about everything. He was right about the things you were wrong. And you didn’t mind him being right anytime in the future.

#kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop fluff #nct #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct fluff #nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct dream fluff #lee jeno #jeno #jeno scenarios #jeno fluff #jeno imagines #keenan writings

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novachimerablog · 4 years

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Why Did I Pick These People For My Video?

Denzel Washington

Denzel is in an inspiration to me because of how seriously he takes his craft. Denzel never aspired to be an actor when he was young, and it was only when he was down on his luck and at his lowest point, where he decided to take the risk and pursue acting. Once he committed himself to the art, he put his heart and soul into being the best actor he could be and has now gone on to be in some of the best movies of all time and win two Oscars. He has also used his fame to spread a positive message to others, about hard work, consistency, and discipline, which is why I often listen to his interviews and speeches intently.

Serena Williams

The reason I chose Serena Williams for the video is because she is the perfect example of hard work from a young age, leading to success in the future. Serena didn’t start off with much, but she worked hard and trained many years to reach the very highest level. She broke down so many racial barriers in Tennis and in sports in general, simply by being as dominant as she is. She’s is now looked as one of the greatest tennis players of all time, as well as one of the greatest athletes of all time.

Elon Musk

The reason I chose to include Elon Musk in my video is because he is one of the greatest thinkers of our time. He uses his money to constantly to try to create cool and innovative things. He is a man who thinks in the future and want’s to push us into a greater tomorrow. He has already left a massive footprint on the world and looks to only increase that footprint as time goes by, with projects such as Tesla, Space X, The Boring Company and Paypal. His mind is truly like no other and he inspires me to think bigger and not limit myself to others expectations.

Bruce Lee

The reason I chose Bruce Lee for the video is because of his philosophies on life as well as his teaching’s on martial arts. Bruce Lee became an icon through his many successful movies but was also a teacher to many and inspiration to millions. Even though his time on this earth was short lived, he made a massive impact with the time that he had, and no one has been quite able to replicate his impact on cinema and martial art’s since.

John Lennon

The reason I chose John Lennon for the video is because he was someone who came from a tough background and became not only one of the greatest musician of all time, but also one the greatest thinkers of his generation. Through his music, he spread a message of peace, love and prosperity and went on to create of the greatest and iconic songs of all time. He could easily could have played it and made simple music, with a safe message, but instead a lot of the time he challenged listeners and helped revolutionize the sound music.

Robin Williams

The reason I chose Robin Williams for the video is because of how the legacy he left behind in the comedy world as well as the acting world. Robin is such an influential figure because of his bright personality, his many iconic performances and his effect on those he worked with. Despite his many demons, Robin always tried his hardest to make those around him smile, which was such a selfless act for someone who was clearly in pain for many years.

Conan O’Brien

The reason I chose Conan O’Brien for the video is mostly because of his part in the early years of The Simpsons. In my opinion, when Conan was part of the writing team for the Simpsons, that’s when the show was at it’s best. When he was part of the writing team, The Simpsons was the best TV show on the air and was a strong contender for being the greatest show of all time. Conan has also gone onto being one of the best talk show hosts of all time and is still providing audiences with funny, smart and witty content still to this day.

Will Smith

The reason I chose Will Smith for the video is because of how he transitioned from being the first rapper to win a Grammy, to being a TV star, to being a blockbuster movie star, to being a two time Oscar nominee. Will Smith is a very multi-talented person who take his craft very seriously. He is one of the hardest working people in the industry to date and his way of thinking Is truly inspiring. He doesn’t consider himself to be “talented” but rather he sees himself as “skilled” because he works constantly to be the best at what he does, which is very inspiring, especially since I grew up on his TV shows and movies.

Dave Chappelle

The reason I chose to include Dave Chapelle in my vide is because of his evolution as a person, as well as a comedian. At the height of his fame and popularity, he rejected fifty million dollars and moved to Africa, because he longer wanted to be a puppet to the TV industry. Him rejecting this money and moving away led people to thinking he had gone crazy, but in actuality, he realized taking that money would have cost him soul and his integrity. Dave rejected the money and spent many years finding himself, learning new things and enjoying his freedom. He then came back to the mainstream and has returned better than ever. He’s funnier and he’s wiser now. It takes a very honourable person to reject a large amount of money, if that money comes with going against your beliefs and morals. I think a lot of people would have taken the money, and I think that’s what makes Dave so special in my eyes.

Kobe Bryant

The reason I chose Kobe Bryant for the video is mostly because of his legendry work ethic and his unrelenting passion to win at all means. Not many people on earth wanted to be successful like Kobe. He was a person who took his craft very seriously, almost to the point where he had it worked down to an exact science. Whenever Kobe spoke, you could hear how much he loved basketball and how much respect he has for the sport. Kobe is the epitomizes what it means to have an unbridled passion for something. Only the luck ones are able to find something they’re so passionate about, that they will put their heart and soul into it every day, and that was Kobe. And even after retirement, Kobe kept working, he became a creative and used his legendary work ethic to create interesting projects away from basketball, which even resulted in him winning an Oscar.

Nelson Mandela

The reason I chose Nelson Mandela for the video is because he truly was a freedom fighter who fought for what he believed in. He gave up many years of his life, fighting for equality and justice. He fought against prejudice and was eventually elected president of South Africa after spending twenty-seven years of his life in Jail. Nelson’s story has inspired billions across the world and is one which will be told for many years to come. He is someone who never have up on what he believed in, and in the end he was rewarded for his efforts.

Steve Jobs

The reason I chose to include Steve Jobs in my video, is because he was one of the greatest innovators of all time. He changed the scope of technology and smartphones forever. Without Steve jobs we wouldn’t have apps and games on our phones, he was the one to think of these ideas and put them out there, even though everyone told him it wouldn’t work. Steve was also the one who made computer more personalized and was the one who strived for normal people to have computers in their home. After getting fired from his own business, he never gave up his ambitions and continued to innovate. His hard work led him to being rehired as CEO of apple once again and in turn led to the revival of Apple as a company. He may not have been the best guy personally, but his mind and drive are what make his someone to respect.

Audrey Hepburn

The reason I chose Audrey Hepburn for the video, is because of her passion for the art of acting and her multi-talented skill set. Not only was she a talented Actress, she was also a fashion icon, a wonderful singer, a sublime dancer and innovator in the craft. Away from the performing art’s she was an incredible humanitarian, often spending her latter years helping those less fortunate in poor countries. She would often use her celebrity for good and as a means to bring attention to issues involving poverty, violence and War, which is very commendable.

Malcom X

The reason I chose Malcom for the video is because despite his controversial takes, he was someone who strived for justice and equality for black people. He was someone who made mistakes in his past and re-invented himself into someone people would want to follow and listen. He was a great speaker who was instant on making sure his people were treated fairly and got the respect and equal opportunity they deserved. He was fearless in his pursuits and became an icon who died fighting for what’s right.

Oprah

The reason I chose to include Oprah in my video is because of how she rose from the traumatic and hard childhood, to being a billionaire and one of the most influential people who has ever live. Oprah didn’t let her past dictate her future and she worked hard to get where she is now. Oprah is a true underdog story and she proves that if you’re unrelenting in your ambition and believe in your talent and worth, then you can rise from any hardship and achieve your goals.

Martin Luther King Jr.

The reason I chose Martin Luther King for the video is because he was a man who fought for was right. He fought against racism using peaceful tactics and was a man who felt love was solution over hate. He was and still is an inspiration to millions and his words and speeches still live on to this day. Martin was a man who knew the risks of speaking out against racism but still did it anyway, which unfortunately was the reason he died at such a young age. However, his message still lived on through the man lives he inspired. Martin was a brave and intelligent man, who had a dream for himself and his people, and he did everything in his power to make that dream come true, even if that came at the cost of his life.

James Baldwin

The reason I chose James Baldwin for the video is because of how he used his very skilled writing to talk about the injustice in America towards African American people. In James writing you can truly feel the pain and anger leap of the screen. He was a thinker that was as conservational as he was talented. James was not afraid to give his unfiltered take on racism and discrimination, and he did so with a high-level writing prowess, bravery and dignity.

Muhammad Ali

The reason I chose to include Muhammad Ali in the video is because he issues someone who stood up for his own beliefs, at the cost of his career. Not only was he the greatest boxer of all time in my opinion, he was also one of the most entertaining sportsmen to ever live. You never knew what he was going to say next and his box style was truly one of a kind. But aside from being an incredible athlete, he was also a very vocal activist and was unreserved when it came to talking the plight of black people in America. By him refusing to go to Vietnam, he was suspended for a large chunk of his prime and had his belts takeaway. Despite this, he never relented on his stance against the Vietnam war and in the end, inspired millions to voice their own objections to the war.

Date: 17/07/20

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