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caseys-breanna · 24 days

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Ok I just finished rewatching The Rundown Job and so far I have -

The most ridiculously peacocking display of competence porn. What do you mean "'sup Eliot." What do you mean "who needs luck". Where is your damn shame? Where is hundred more episodes of just like this? 10/10 worth every watch.

'I've got a hacker *enter bf*, and a thief *enter gf*'

Only Parker noticing 'too many cops'. It's such a cool detail throughout the show how observant she is just offhandedly, unlike Eliot who observes actively.

Parker pretending to promptly fall asleep as soon as they're in the truck, only to have the handcuffs off in seconds.

"What do they say about me? I hope they gave me a cool nickname." I'll bet all the kudos on my most popular fic that he hacks into his own pentagon file regularly to make up his own nickname.

"Hell your girlfriend's already out of the cuffs" *Parker smiling and sliding them off* AND IT'S DIRECTED NOT TO HARDISON, HER EXPLICITLY STATED BOYFRIEND, BUT AT ELIOT, THEIR BOYFRIEND.

Putting Hardison in those glasses. Those damn glasses. I need a glass of water jfc it's hot in here

'For better or worse, we change together'. Aaaaaand that's on wedding vows.

"I'll drive." "Hold on." "Exactly." "No, I mean hold on. (Our gf is a former gateway car driver)". "Oh. Oh you mean. Yeah."

The hand on the wrist and eye contact and saying 'I'm not afraid. I got the best thief and the smartest guy I know chasing this guy'

HAND ON THE BACK OF THE NECK AND PULLING CLOSER 'HEY LISTEN TO ME YOU'RE THE SMARTEST GUY I'VE EVER KNOWN HARDISON I NEED THAT BRAIN TO GET ME TO HIM. GET ME TO HIM'. Screaming crying frothing at the mouth et cetera et cetera

Figuring out the job TOGETHER

This is Hardison. Hardison likes his personal space. These are Parker and Eliot. Parker and Eliot also like Hardison's personal space.

The eyes on each other's lips during unlocking doors and saying thank you

'Kiss for luck?' the sequel: love boogaloo

HACKING THE MF CAR HORN WITH AN SOS THROUGH A MOBILE PHONE

"BOOM MY BOY THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!" first of all that's his boy so jot that down

Also side note this episode shows the fascinating way Hardison uses his brain and I wish we saw more of it because it's fascinating how he derives what he does from the few bits of data he gathers

"He's on the train!" "Yeah well so am I." "When you pick him out of the crowd-" "No. I'm ON the train! 🙄 Never mind..."

Two good ole boys behind the wheel 🎶 chasing the target and their gf in a million dollar car 🎵 two good ole boys-

*Hanging by her fingertips from a running train roof almost mashed into pulp by signage" WOOOOOO HOOOOO

The way Parker picks him out, not by using thief sense, but mastermind sense that he's immune -> got vaccinated -> pain in the arm. Brilliant way to pick someone out from a crowd while not raising panic

Keeping him talking till she takes the briefcase that he HANDCUFFED to himself right under his nose. How? Well, she's Parker.

"I kept one diamond. Sorry." I love her

Finally "kiss for luck" the trilogy comes to an end

*casually endangers self* "Fire is the only thing that kills it right?"

"Don't do that to me, I can't lose you. Do you understand? I can't lose you. Don't scare me like that. I can't-"

Eliot Spencer: *Barks 'Alright!' at the guy touching him to literally patch up his bullet wound.* Also Eliot Spencer: *ditches crutches so he can lean on his girlfriend and boyfriend*

"I work with them now." Would you like to stay for dinner? "Honor among thieves? Something like that." WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER??!!!

"I don't do hospital." "I told you, he takes getting shot very lightly." Uh huh, you know what I smell? LOVE. In the air! Might be some blood from those bullet wounds too ig.

What a show.

#leverage #eliot spencer #alec hardison #parker leverage #jace.txt #leverage ot3 #eliot x parker x hardison #hitter hacker thief #'we change together'#the rundown job

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afeelgoodblog · 7 months

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The Best News of Last Week

🌍🌡️ - Climate Prophecy: The Forecast Is 100% Chance of 'Cool'

1. No cases of cancer caused by HPV in Norwegian 25-year olds, the first cohort to be mass vaccinated for HPV

Last year there were zero cases of cervical cancer in the population that was vaccinated in 2009 against the HPV virus, which can cause the cancer in women. The HPV virus is extremely common, basically everyone comes into contact with one version or another of the virus in their lifetime.

The vaccine was given to girls only out of an abundance of caution, they were the most likely to contract cancer from the viruses, and because there was limited supply.

2. ‘Every square inch is covered in life’: the ageing oil rigs that became marine oases

Built decades ago, California’s offshore oil platforms are home to a huge diversity of marine life. According to a 2014 study, the rigs were some of the most “productive” ocean habitats in the world, a term that refers to biomass – or number of fish and other creatures and how much space they take up – per unit area.

3. Vaccinations may have prevented almost 20 million COVID-19 deaths worldwide

Vaccinations estimated to have averted 19.8 million COVID-19 deaths worldwide in their first year, according to the latest Imperial modelling study.

In the first year of the vaccination programme, 19.8 million out of a potential 31.4 million COVID-19 deaths were prevented worldwide according to estimates based on excess deaths from 185 countries and territories.

4. Global climate policy forecast predicts ‘well below 2°C’ Paris Agreement climate goals will be met

They report only a 10% probability we exceed 2°C by 2050. Temperatures are expected to peak between 1.7°C and 1.8°C, which is consistent with the “well below 2°C” objective of the Paris Agreement in Art. 2.1c.

5. Young driver fatality rates have fallen sharply in the US, helped by education, technology

Crash and fatality rates among drivers under 21 have fallen dramatically in the U.S. during the past 20 years.

Using data from 2002-2021, the report says that fatal crashes involving a young driver fell by 38%, while deaths of young drivers dropped even more, by about 45%.

6. A Virginia woman was feeling sad. Her doctor prescribed her a cat.

7. Remote workers report saving $5,000 to $10,000 a year

What value would American workers place on the privilege to work from home?

In a 2022 survey by FlexJobs, 45% of remote workers reported saving at least $5,000 a year. One in 5 reported saving $10,000 a year. The savings average out to about $6,000 a year. The poll reached 4,000 workers in July and August of last year.

Three years into the remote-work revolution, research increasingly suggests that telework is a commodity, a job descriptor worth thousands of dollars in potential savings and improved quality of life.

---

That's it for this week :)

This newsletter will always be free. If you liked this post you can support me with a small kofi donation here:

Buy me a coffee ❤️

Also don’t forget to reblog this post with your friends.

#best news of last week

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briefalpacashark · 3 months

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~Darkest fear~

The boys of 141 find out your darkest fear.

Warning: Swearing and mentions of needles.

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How well did you fit in with the boys of 141. Too well. From day one you and Soap instantly connected. Price called you Soap 2.0. Why? Because your sarcasm and wit had you and Soap bantering for hours on end. Everything you two would say would just feed and complement the others. And God help whoever you were making fun of that day. One time Gaz had to endure two hours of back and forth. You had worked with Price before, and you were already close. Gaz you become quick friends with. And Ghost, well although slightly intimidated by the giant you came to respect one another, and the specialist abilities you both held.

After all, you were respectful and kind. You always wore a smile and they would never admit it but to them you were like a little ball of sunshine. Or like a cute little puppy.

One day, about two days before your next mission you walked into base. Into the shared common area. To your surprise you found Gaz, Soap, and Ghost all standing around the far side of the table.

“What's going on?” you asked. Hearing the door shut behind you. You glanced back to see Price locking it and then placing his body in between you and the exit.

“You alright captain?” you asked hesitantly seeing his nervous look.

“Damn cap, you look like you're trying to shit a brick,” Soap commented with a bemused chuckle. He wore a smirk that showed he was far too happy to be there.

“She can't be that bad,” Gaz shrugged, gesturing to you.

“What am I bad at?” You asked with a confused chuckle.

“Alright love. Now I want you to be calm,” Price raised his hands like he was talking to an injured animal. Love, it was a nickname all the british lads used.

“Calm, what you on abou-” Your words trailed off as you spotted the syringe in his hand. It was a shot. A vaccination of some kind. Instantly you scooted away from him moving around the table. Your blood ran cold as adrenaline filled your every being. You were scared of needles. Scared to the point where you would do anything to keep away from them.

“The fuck is that cap?” You asked lowly.

“Wait, you're really scared of needles?” Soap chuckled at your reactions as you hide yourself behind him.

“Love, come on now,” Price was really trying his best.

“Price, I told you. I fucken told you. You drug the fuck out of me and then that's when you give me the fucking shot,” You had a plan, one Price knew about and had done before for quite a few of your shots. You would take a sedative and that's when they would stick you. Was it ethical, no in the slightest. but it was the only way of giving you a shot without anyone getting hurt.

“I know, but this one needs to be taken when you're conscious. Something bout side effects or what not,” he explained calmly.

“I told you how I get cap,” you mumbled, pointing an accusing finger at him as you shifted from side to side.

“I know, that's why I got the lads here,” he said, nodding to them. You looked at the three that surrounded you with betrayal.

“You're in on this?” You asked. “Come on lass, it's just a little needle,” Soap smirked loving the ammo he was receiving to tease you later with. "I thought you Australians were supposed to have nerves of steel?" he joked.

“I don't think you guys understand the severity of this. I turn feral ok. I once almost bit a doctor's finger off, ok,” You admitted honestly.

“Almost?” Ghost asked.

“It doesn't matter. Cap you can't do this alright. Let's just do it tomorrow yeah?” You said as you went to slip out of the little corral they had you in only for Gaz to hold up his hand to stop you.

“Grab her,” Price gave the order.

“Eat a dick Price!” You snapped. Gaz was the first to reach for you. With a cocky and bemused smirk, he went to grab you. A cocky smirk that was slammed against the table. Everyone's eyes went wide at the movement. You had ducked under his hand taking ahold of it and grabbed his neck slamming his face onto the table. It was a reaction; one you had no control over.

“Oh my god, I'm sorry,” You rushed out the words shocked at your own actions. Soap was the next one to reach for you, well more like tackle. You crouched sliding to your left through Ghost's legs.

------

A few other soldiers on the base stared in confusion at the barrack building. What sounded like a bar fight was happening inside. The sounds of breaking furniture and shattering plates filled the air.

There was a shocking amount of swearing and a few choice sentences before you slammed through the window. Shattering it upon impact and landing from the three story building in a tuck and roll.

And then you legged it. Like the devil himself was on your heels. There was another commotion before the three men stumbled out of the room, Pierce with a busted nose, Gaz holding his head, Ghost dusting the remnants of a broken glass of his shoulder and Soap still laying on the floor inside curled up in the fetal position. His hands clutching his family jewels.

“How the fucks did she do that?” Price muttered in confusion as they watched your disappearing figure.

The boys in all their wisdom beside to treat giving you the shot like a mission. On the thoroughly planned and scoped out before enacting. Little did they know it would be one of their hardest missions yet. They tried to administer the shot 29 times. Every time they would come up with a different plan. They had tried everything, bribery, outsmarting you, trapping you. None of it worked, you always managed to get away.

“Macgyver!” You bloody froze as you heard your call sign. At that very moment you sat perched up in the very high corner of an aircraft hangar. Had you scaled the walls to get there, yes, was it your greatest idea, no. But you weren't thinking logically. You knew it was stupid how frightened you got but you just weren't able to control it.

“We know you're here,” they called again. You peeked around the large beam spotting only Ghost in the entrance. Instantly you looked for the others. Were they trying to trap you again?

“Come on Sargent,” He was your Lieutenant. You should have listened to him. But you kept your mouth shut happily perched in your little hidey hole.

“It's fine. Just so you know Gaz it hurt. Idiot sprained his ankle running afta ya,” He informed. Instantly you felt guilty, and a little worried for your teammate. You wanted to get down and help, but you also knew the possibility of it being a trap. Ghost waited a few moments before cursing under his breath. He began to search the hanger. Under every trap inside every plane. Around every corner. He looked like he was about to give up. Then out of sheer luck for him, and anything but luck for you he looked up. Instantly the two of you made eye contact. He stared for a moment truly grasping the situation, trying to forget about how exactly you got up there.

“The fuck you doing up there?” his gruff voice asked as he folded his arms over his chest.

“Thought it looked like a comfortable place to sit,” you shrugged nonchalantly. Ghost took in the awkward sit/balanced crouch you had going on.

“Oh yeah, it looks real comfortable,” he said.

“Well I am,” you stated.

“Right, well come on now, fun's over,” he nodded for you to come down.

“Respectfully sir. Suck a dick” Ghost propped an eyebrow at the insult. With your apologetic expression he knew you didn't mean it, but he had to admit. It was refreshing to see someone who was willing to insult him. “Fine, well it's either you get down yourself or I come get you,” he gave you the ultimatum.

“You're right, Let my just give up now and come down. Just like you said,'' You pretended to get ready to descale the walls.

“Thankyou,” Ghost was actually genuinely thankful. He thought by some miracle you were actually going to listen to him.

“Yeah you know just let me,” Quickly snapping back to your original position you flipped him off. He stared for a few bewildered moments.

“That's just childish,” he said.

“You're a child,” you snapped back.

“Right,” Ghost huffed, walking up to the beams. You watched him as he struggled to scale the walls. After all he was a big man, he was carrying a lot of weight. As he finally reached the beam you were on he turned to look at you. Only you weren't there. He frowned looking down to see you sliding down a beam and hitting the ground.

“Fuck,” he quickly did the same. Hearing the thunderous footsteps of Ghost feet would be encouragement enough for anyone to run for their lives. To you it was a reminder that you not only insulted your lieutenant but you flipped him off and called him a child. You had just made it outside of the hanger.

Now you were fast, the fastest on the team when it came to running. You could have outrun him. Only when you stepped out into the open did you feel a sharp pain hit your left ass cheek.

“Fucking Ass!” you came to a small hopping stop as you looked for the culprit. A little red feathered dart had been plugged into the soft tissue of your ass.

“Did you just shoot a dart at my ass!” Your bewildered and angry yell was directed to the general direction of where it had come from. Price sat on the roof of a nearby building, dart gun in hand, Gaz by his side with a pair of binoculars.

“Direct hit,” GAz announced.

“She's pissed,” Soap commented as they watched your little tantrum.

Later that night you stood outside on your little makeshift patio area. You hand rubbing the still stinging spot on your ass with a permanent frown. Hearing the door open you snapped your head around to glare. Ghost silently walked out and stood beside you.

“Using Gaz was a low blow,” you grumbled. Ghost silently looked over you, your cute little frown. It reminded him of a toddler that wasn't allowed to have chocolate.

“Then what do you call kicking Johnny in the balls?” he asked.

“Tactical,” you grumbled. You were surprised to hear the softest huff of a chuckle come from Ghost. It was times like these you wish you could see his expression. But you were sure you saw the side of his mask where the edge of a smile would be, tilt upwards. The idea of Ghost smiling had you chuckling.

“What's so funny?” he asked.

“All this, I'm a medic you think I'd be comfortable with needles,” you chuckled.

“That ain’t funny. Soap getting kicked in the balls. That's funny. Fucker deserved it,” Ghost said. You chuckled again. Ghost glanced over at you, he liked your laugh. It was always a true honest one.

“Well I guess I should apologize about the disrespect I've shown today,” With a deep sigh you stood at attention. “I apologize for the disrespect I showed and not listening to orders,” You said with an embarrassed smile.

“So what will be the punishment, Lieutenant?” You asked. This was the first time you had done anything wrong with the boys. While they seemed ok with it, you were used to the military hierarchy. You had insulted a higher ranking officer once. It didn't go so well. You expected Ghost to be no different.

“Not gonna punish you,” he shrugged. You let out a relieved sigh closing your eyes. “But,” when you opened them again, Ghost was standing directly in front of you. On instinct you stepped back, hitting the pole you had been leaning on. Ghost closed the distance. You swallowed as he stepped close enough for you to feel his body heat, your neck craned back to make eye contact with him.

“Don't ever call me a child again,” he stated his voice dropping into a serious tone. You quickly nodded with an awkward chuckle. It was meant to be intimidating, Ghost had used his size to intimidate before. While you were intimidated there was one thing that kept your attention. You could have sworn you could see a smirk under that mask.

“Um, yeah sure,” You muttered. Leaning down he hovered his head by your ear, his hot breath faint through the mask but you could still feel it. You felt your heart jump. skip a beat and then rattle the back of your throat. Why was he so close?

“I promise you love I'm no kid,” he whispered. You were barely able to frown at his comment when something pricked your thigh.

“The fuck was that?” you asked at the small amount of pain giving Ghost’s chest a soft shove. He stepped back holding his hand up that held an empty syringe.

“You bastard,” you whispered. Now you were sure he was smirking. You could see it in his eyes.

“Price thought it best not to tell you about the second shot,” he shrugged nonchalantly. Wow, so he basically just gave you a mini heart attack just to give you a shot.

“Next time I need to take blood from you I'm gonna miss your veins so many times,” you threatened half heartedly.

“Good thing I'm not scared of needles,” he said, his eyes shining smugly.

“You..” You glared at the tease. He simply turned towards the door.

“Fuckers,” you grumbled as you watched him walk back into the barracks.

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--COD Master List Here--

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#141 x reader #cod 141 #141 x you #task force 141 #tf 141 #cod ghost #cod mw2 #simon ghost x reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #ghost cod

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shotmrmiller · 5 months

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PAUSE! OH MY GOD. writing a soap smut got me thinking.

As a medic in base, you see the 141 guys all the time. Whether in passing or because they get injured, you’re always interacting with them. Your particular lack of response at Ghost’s irritated glare after reprimanding him for being unable to keep his stitches intact during training is what solidified your friendship with Johnny— what Soap tells you to call him.

Every time Johnny goes out, he likes to drag you along and this is where you notice peculiar interactions between him and Ghost.

The way Ghost gives Soap Johnny his full attention when he’s speaking, turning his entire body to face him, even if it’s something completely trivial. Or how Johnny stresses over Ghost who’s injured on your med table and Ghost will comfort him. When going on a mission, if one goes, so does the other.

You wonder if there's something else going on.

—

You get your answer.

One day you’re knocking on Johnny’s door because it wouldn’t be the first time he’s tried to weasel out of a physical. You’d think getting shot would hurt more than a vaccine but here you are— about to twist his scottish ear off. The door finally opens, and you barge in because you aren’t about to cause a scene in the middle of the hallway when you freeze.

Ghost is in Johnny's room, lying on the bed. If looks could kill, Ghost’s would’ve leveled the base. And he’s naked under the sheets— if that tree trunk-sized bulge is what you think it is. It doesn't even look hard. Bloody hell.

You shift your gaze towards Soap, and your eyes drop— he's clad in nothing but a towel that hangs dangerously low on his hips.

Massive. These men just walkin’ round with weapons in their pants.

Shaking off those thoughts, you shift your attention to his face.

“Meet me at the clinic in 10 or so help me god, Johnny.” and walk out the door.

You hear a muffled "Yes ma'am" , and a hiss escapes your lips.

That cocky smile Johnny had means he definitely saw you ogling them.

—

A week passes and it’s a friday. You can’t wait to lock yourself in your barracks room and watch movies the entire weekend— you plan to start as soon as you're off the clock.

And then other medics twist your arm into going out for drinks.

Now you find yourself seated at a table in a lively bar, indulging in shots of tequila. As you glance around, your eyes catch sight of Soap and Ghost standing near the bartender. It appeared that some woman is talking to Johnny and he has a polite, detached smile on his face. Always too kind to strangers.

Then she starts caressing his thigh.

Your eyebrows shoot up to your hairline. Right in front of Ghost’s salad? You lock eyes with Ghost and he looks murderous. Jesus.

You usually don't stick your nose in others' business, but if you don’t intervene, Ghost might actually kill her in her sleep. Besides, tequila has always made you bold.

With a confident stride, you make your way towards Johnny and remove that woman’s hand before settling yourself snugly on his lap— and you wrap his arms around your waist.

“And who is this?” you ask Soap, but the girl questions back.

“No. Who are you?”

Bitch.

Curling your upper lip, you answer, “I’m the one he comes in every night hoping it takes. Now leave before I make you,” completely ignoring the massive bulge pressing up into your arse.

She looks at you with a bewildered expression, but doesn't move so you finish off with, "Try it. Just a warning though, it'll be hard to fight when the fight ain't fair."

You cock your head to the side with a taunting expression and the woman scoffs before walking away. Noticing she left her almost full drink behind, you give it to the bartender to toss in the trash. She's just gonna have to get another one.

Your act comes to an end, so you shift to stand up— and realize that the arms encircling your waist tighten, keeping you on his lap. His clothed cock.

“Ye didnae think we’d let ye go after yer little show, did ye?”

Unless Johnny’s speaking french, he just said we. You'd be nervous but you aren't about to decline what could be the best sex of your life. The want you feel in Soap's pants has you riding a certain high— it makes you feel confident.

Grabbing onto the edge of the bartop, you swivel the stool you're on to face Ghost.

“And this okay with you? I wouldn’t be stepping on any toes, or nothin’?”

Ghost swiftly lifts you from Johnny's lap and places you onto his own.

“Does this answer your question?” and draws you closer before grinding his erection against you.

And it sure as hell does. Slapping the counter, you ask for some water. If this night is going to end with you sandwiched between these two, you want to remember all of it.

reader's a boss ass bitch. GET IT CHILE.

#call of duty #simon ghost riley #cod #cod mwii #cod mw2 #simon riley #john soap mactavish #johnny soap mactavish #ghoap #ghoap x reader #johnny soap mctavish x reader #ghost simon riley

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coldhearthotlove · 11 months

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For Disability PRIDE Month - It’s EXTREMELY important to remember that COVID still exists.

It never went away, and it’s as dangerous as ever.

Here are some facts everyone should be aware of:

1) COVID has killed millions around the world (directly and indirectly - such as causing heart problems, for example, and then causing a lethal heart attack months later), and debilitated tens of millions, if not more, around the world in only a few years.

2) COVID can and often does cause long term effects which can last for months, years, or even a lifetime. These long term effects commonly include: fatigue, shortness of breath, loss of taste and smell, etc. - but there are countless other long term effects. Ongoing health issues that come from an infection is called “Long COVID” - and can range in severity.

3) Most people with Long COVID have reported being dismissed, and even gaslit or made fun of by family, and even medical staff. They have been told “it’s all in their head” or “not that serious”.

4) No age, gender, race, nationality, etc. is immune to COVID. ANYONE can get it. There are some groups of people, however, that are more likely than others to have more severe outcomes from an infection.

5) Herd immunity cannot be achieved with COVID, because the virus mutates every time it infects a group a people. This new mutation can dodge any immunity you have from a previous infection, and infect you again. Millions of people around the world have already had COVID multiple times - often different mutations/variants of the virus. The less often you and the people around you get COVID, the better.

6) While vaccines and boosters can prevent more severe illnesses and even death - you can still get COVID and Long COVID, even if you’ve been vaccinated. Vaccine efficacy only lasts a few months, and the vast majority of Americans are not up to date with their boosters.

7) COVID can wreck your organs and immune system, and make you more susceptible to other diseases and conditions - such as Pneumonia.

8) Since COVID is a relatively new virus, there’s still a lot not known about it; but the limited knowledge we do have on it is terrifying.

9) “Mainstream Media” doesn’t talk about COVID anymore, because society wants to pretend it doesn’t exist anymore. Lockdowns, masking, taking precautions, etc. was costing too much money and inconveniencing too many people - so the average person would rather just pretend it doesn’t exist, even though it does. Just because everyone around you thinks “COVID is over”, doesn’t mean it is. Don’t be fooled.

10) An experiment was done on lab mice: reinfecting them with COVID. By the 10th infection - all the mice were dead…

10 infections sounds like a lot, but if you’re 20 and you get 1 infection every year on average - you’re not likely to live past 30…

If you do, you’re almost guaranteed to have some from of Long COVID.

Please take COVID seriously, for yourself, and everyone around you…

#nat speaks #coronavirus #COVID19 #disability #disability pride month

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moralesispunk · 2 months

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I have no clue if you're taking requests, but how about dad! Simon or girldad! Simon with a baby girl and he and wife! reader gets her ears peirced, and their baby starts crying hysterically! (Bonus if wife! Reader starts crying too cuz she feels bad)

Husband Simon Riley x Wife! Reader (x and daughter)

ahhh tumblr did not give me my ask box notifications so I have a few to work through - fluff first!

but i can so see this :(

Simon holds your baby - Lucy - on his lap, two of her tiny hands playing with the fingers of one of his hands and her little legs kicking to the radio playing over the speakers. Her face is bright and excited after picking out the sparkles for her ears. Simon's face - on the other hand - is not bright or excited.

His hand that Lucy is not playing with is curled protectively around her, his palm pressing against her belly and holding her snug against him when the piercer walks into the room.

"Hi Lucy," she sing-songs, "hi mum and dad."

"Hi." You smile back but Simon only grimaces. "Jesus Si," you mumble when he winces as the piercer starts to unpackage the equipment, "you'd think it was you getting pierced."

"Feels like it," he mutters.

Lucy doesn't notice her dads nervous energy, her attention on the piercer and you as you chat through everything even as Simon clings to her like he's going to run from the room with her cuddled under his arms.

It's not that you're happy that Lucy is going to feel a pinch of pain, not when every single cell in your body would do anything to stop her from feeling pain ever, it's how endearing Simon's behaviour is.

Your six foot three, burly, ex-military husband, Simon.

Simon who almost made you late for Lucy's first vaccinations because his hands shook so much trying to get her out of her car seat. Simon who cushioned every corner of every surface when she showed the first sign of walking

Simon who frowns when her bottom lip starts to wobble on the first piercing and whose eyes get glassy when she starts to all out cry with the second ear.

"All done, all done," the piercer soothes, though more for father or daughter you're not sure.

Simon immediately turns her in his arms, her head tucked under his chin and his hand rubbing soothing circles on her back. You swear you see him lift a hand to wipe a stray tear off his cheek with his thumb and you bite back a smile.

"Well done," the piercer holds out a sticker, Lucy's red rimmed eyes peeking open from where they had been pressed against Simon's chest. "Do you want to put it on?"

She mumbles something that sounds like "daddy" so Simon takes the sticker, peeling it and pressing on the sleeve of her tshirt before he stands.

You walk towards the till, Simon still pouting and awkwardly reaching for his wallet in his back pocket even as he holds Lucy against his chest.

"C'mere honey," you say, taking her into your arms and letting her head rest on your shoulder as her arms wrap around your neck. "Look how sparkly your ears are now."

She starts to smile, and while Simon pays you walk over to the mirror. You ohh and ahh until she's giggling and standing in front of the mirror, looking at her piercings.

Simon comes up behind you, a hand on the bottom of your back and his attention on Lucy.

"See," you say, "she's happy now."

Simon just grunts and you chuckle, reaching for Lucy's hand and wrapping your other arm around Simon's.

"Come on, you two," you say, "I'll treat you both to some ice-cream for getting through that."

And even though Simon rolls his eyes, you see the way the corner of his mouth twitches into an almost smile.

#simon riley x you #simon riley x reader #simon riley x y/n #simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x y/n

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mightyflamethrower · 9 months

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“Name me a single objective we’ve ever set out to accomplish that we’ve failed on. Name me one, in all of our history. Not one!”

-President Joe Biden, August 16, 2023

Joe Biden in one of his now accustomed angry “get off my grass” moods dared the press to find just one of his policies/objectives that has not worked. Silence followed.

Perhaps it was polite to say nothing, given even the media knows almost every enacted Biden policy has failed.

Here is a summation of what he should instead apologize for.

Biden in late summer 2021 sought a 20th anniversary celebration of 9/11 and the 2001 subsequent invasion of Afghanistan. He wished to be the landmark president that yanked everyone out of Afghanistan after 20 years in country. But the result was the greatest military humiliation of the United States since the flight from Vietnam in 1975.

Consider the ripples of Biden’s disaster. U.S. deterrence was crippled worldwide. China, Russia, Iran, and North Korea almost immediately began to bluster or return to their chronic harassment of U.S. and allied ships and planes. We left thousands of allied Afghans to face Taliban retribution, along with some Western contractors.

Biden abandoned a $1 billion embassy, and a $300 million remodeled Bagram airbase strategically located not far from China and Russia, and easily defensible. Perhaps $50 billion in U.S. weaponry and supplies were abandoned and now find their way into the international terrorist mart.

All our pride flags, our multimillion gender studies programs at Kabul University, and our George Floyd murals did not just come to naught, but were replaced by the Taliban’s anti-homosexual campaigns, burkas, and detestation of any trace of American popular culture.

Vladimir Putin sized up the skedaddle. He collated it with Biden’s unhinged quip that he would not get too excited if Putin just staged a “minor” invasion of Ukraine. He remembered Biden’s earlier request to Putin to modulate Russian hacking to exempt a few humanitarian American institutions. Then Russia concluded of our shaky Commander-in-Chief that he either did not care or could do nothing about another Russian invasion.

The result so far is more than 500,000 dead and wounded in the war, a Verdun-stand-off along with fortified lines, the steady depletion of our munitions and weapon stocks, and a new China/Russia/Iran/North Korean axis, with wink and nod assistance from NATO Turkey.

Biden blew up the Abraham accords, nudged Saudi Arabia and the Gulf States over to the dark side of Iran, China, and Russia. He humiliated the U.S. on the eve of the midterms by callously begging the likes of Iran, Venezuela, Russia, and Saudi Arabia to pump more oil that he had damned as unclean at home and cut back its production. In Bidenomics, instead of producing oil, the president begs autocracies to export it to us at high prices while he drains the nation’s strategic petroleum reserve for short-term political advantage.

Biden deliberately alienated Israel by openly interfering in its domestic politics. He pursued the crackpot Iran Deal while his special Iranian envoy was removed for disclosing classified information.

No one can explain why Biden ignored the Chinese balloon espionage caper, kept mum about the engineered Covid virus that escaped the Wuhan lab, said not a word about a Chinese biolab discovered in rural California, and had his envoys either bow before Chinese leaders or take their insults in silence—other than he is either cognitively challenged or leveraged by his decade-long grifting partnership with his son Hunter.

Yet another Biden’s legacy will be erasing the southern border and with it, U.S. immigration law. Over seven million aliens simply crossed into the U.S. illegally with Biden’s tacit sanction—without audits, background checks, vaccinations, and COVID testing, much less English fluency, skills, or high-school diplomas.

Biden’s only immigration accomplishment was to render the entire illegal sanctuary city movement a cruel joke. Given the flood, mostly rich urban and vacation home dwellers made it very clear that while they fully support millions swarming into poor Latino communities of southern Texas and Arizona, they do not want any illegal aliens fouling their carefully cultivated nests.

Biden is mum about the 100,000 fentanyl deaths from cartel-imported and Chinese-supplied drugs across his open border. He seems to like the idea that Mexican President Obrador periodically mouths off, ordering his vast expatriate community to vote Democratic and against Trump.

Despite all the pseudo-blue collar dissimulation about Old Joe Biden from Scranton, he has little empathy for the working classes. Indeed, he derides them as chumps and dregs, urges miners to learn coding as the world covets their coal, and studiously avoids getting anywhere near the toxic mess in East Palestine, Ohio, or so far the moonscape on Maui.

Bidenomics is a synonym for printing up to $6 billion dollars at precisely the time post-Covid consumer demand was soaring, while previously dormant supply chains were months behind rebooting production and transportation. Biden is on track to increase the national debt more than any one-term president.

In Biden’s weird logic, if he raised the price of energy, gasoline, and key food staples 20-30 percent since his inauguration without a commensurate rise in wages, and then saw the worst inflation in 40 years occasionally decline from record highs one month to the next, then he “beat inflation.”

But the reason why more than 60 percent of the nation has no confidence in Bidenomics is because it destroyed their household budgets. Gas is nearly twice what it was in January 2021. Interest rates have about tripled. Key staple foods are often twice as costly—meat, vegetables, and fruits especially.

Biden has ended through his weaponized Attorney General Merrick Garland the age-old American commitment to equal justice under the law. The FBI, DOJ, CIA, and IRS are hopelessly politically compromised. Many of their bureaucrats serve as retrieval agents for lost Biden family incriminating laptops, diaries, and guns. In sum, Biden criminalized opposing political views.

Biden has unleashed the administrative state for the first time in history to destroy the Republican primary front runner and his likely opponent. His legacy will be the corruption of U.S. jurisprudence and the obliteration of the American reputation for transparent permanent government that should be always above politics, bribery, and corruption.

If in the future, an on-the-make conservative prosecutor in West Virginia, Utah, or Mississippi wishes to make a national name, then he has ample precedent to indict a Democrat President for receiving bad legal advice, questioning the integrity of an election, or using social media to express doubt that the new non-Election-Day balloting was on the up-and-up, or supposedly overvaluing his real estate.

The Biden family’s decade-long family grifting will likely expose Joe Biden as the first president in U.S. history who fitted precisely the Constitution’s definition of impeachment and removal—given his “high crimes and misdemeanors” appear “bribery”-related. If further evidence shows he altered U.S. foreign policy in accordance with the wishes from his benefactors in Ukraine, China, or Romania, then he committed constitutionally-defined “treason” as well.

Defunding the police, and pandemics of exempted looting, shoplifting, smashing, and grabbing, and carjacking merit no administrative attention. Nor does the ongoing systematic destruction of our blue bicoastal cities, Los Angeles, New York, Portland, San Francisco, Seattle, and Washington, D.C. All that, along with the disasters in East Palestine or Maui are out of sight, out of mind from a day at the beach at Biden’s mysteriously purchased nearly 6,000 square-foot beachfront mansion.

Biden ran on Barack Obama-like 2004 rhetoric (“Well, I say to them tonight, there is not a liberal America and a conservative America — there is the United States of America).”

And like Obama, he used that ecumenical sophistry to gain office only to divide further the U.S. No sooner than he was elected, we began hearing from the great unifier eerie screaming harangues about “semi-fascists” and “ultra-MAGA” dangerous zealots, replete with red-and black Phantom of the Opera backdrops.

What followed the unifying rhetoric was often amnesties and exemptions for violent offenders during the 120 days of rioting, looting, killing, and attacks on police officers in summer 2020. In contrast, his administration lied when it alleged that numerous officers had died at the hands of the January 6 rioters. In addition, the Biden administration mandated long-term incarceration of many who committed no illegal act other than acting like buffoons and “illegally parading.”

The message was exemptions for torching a federal courthouse, a police precinct, or historic church or attempting to break into the White House grounds to get a president and his family—but long prison terms for wearing cow horns, a fur vest, and trespassing peacefully like a lost fool in the Capitol.

Finally, Biden’s most glaring failure was simply being unpresidential. He snaps at reporters, and shouts at importune times. He can no longer read off a big-print teleprompter. Even before a global audience, he cannot kick his lifelong creepy habit of turkey-gobbling on children necks, blowing into their ears and hair of young girls, and squeezing women far too long and far too hard.

His frailty redefined American presidential campaigning as basement seclusion and outsourcing propaganda to the media. And his disabilities only intensified during his presidency. Biden begins his day late and quits early. He has recalibrated the presidency as a 5-hour, 3-day a week job.

If Trump was the great exaggerator, Biden is our foremost liar. Little in his biography can be fully believed. He lies about everything from his train rides to the death of his son to his relationship with Biden-family foreign collaborators, to vaccinations to the economy. Anytime Biden mentions places visited, miles flown, or rails ridden, he is likely lying.

Biden continues with impunity because the media feels that a mentally challenged fabulist is preferable to Donald Trump and so contextualizes or ignores his falsehoods. Never has a U.S. president fallen and stumbled or gotten lost on stage so frequently—or been a single small trip away from incapacity.

So, yes, Biden’s initiatives have succeeded only in the sense of becoming successfully enacted—and therefore nearly destroying the country.

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blackopals-world · 11 months

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Do you take fanfic request? This isn’t my own yuu but I’d love to see your vet!yuu taking care of the Savanaclaw boys but when they’re suddenly turned into their kids selves!

Okay, I have time.

Vet!Yuu x Leona, Ruggie, and Jack (platonic bc babies)

The job of a resident vet is never done. The constant calls to Savanaclaw for almost every task involving health checks, shots, and sprain takes the life out of you. Couple that with the most uncooperative patients and you get exhausted.

The school nurse had handed their duties off to Yuu so they didn't collapse after another beastman ran from their scheduled vaccination.

But now Yuu had three new things dropped on them. Leona, Ruggie, and Jack all had been affected by a potions incident (when is it ever not). Until Crewel came back with the antidote Yuu has to watch them.

Leona was about 3, Ruggie was 2 and Jack was somewhere around 10-12 months.

Yuu began preparing food for around the clock feeding. Mainly shredded meat for Leona and Ruggie and a mixture of milk and blended meat for Jack to make wetfood.

Leona

It's not too bad actually. Lion cubs sleep about 20 hours a day and only wake to eat and play. Leona was already lazy as is so it shouldn't be too hard.

Leona's hair was much lighter than it was before. It was a tawny brown with spots. His hair was also much shorter since he had yet to grow his mane.

He couldn't even growl when he demanded to be fed and all that came out was a squeaky mew.

Yuu remembered how Leona's sister-in-law and brother gushed about how cute Leona was as a kid and they had to agree.

Leona was much more cheerful than before and eyed everything with curiosity and challenge. He'd eagerly explore and claim everything. And when it was nap time he'd roll on his back and sleep with his arms wrapped around himself.

Yuu had learned that Leona would only stay put when he was awake if Yuu ordered him to. Like a mother lion hiding her cubs in the African bush Yuu would place the wondering cub somewhere safe while they got food to bring back.

Leona would use Yuu to play fight as he nipped Yuu's ears after climbing on their back and would search for Yuu's tail to bite. He was frustrated when he couldn't find a tail.

Leona was jealous of the other cubs and would constantly get in the middle whenever Yuu picked up and take care of the others.

Yuu's patience wasn't limitless though and after Leona got too close to Ruggie he was placed in front of a TV with Jack to watch Bluey. Only for Leona to pin Jack down to play fight. Jack squirmed and yipped under the older lion before crying.

He got snatched up by the scruff because he was too big to be wrestling with the pup.

Yuu thought it would be best to call Leona's family to watch him. They were elated to spoil him all over again. They really missed their cub.

Leona didn't want to leave and protested until the queen chuffed at him to follow.

Ruggie

Oh no.Nonono! Hyena pups are dangerous.

Ruggie might be mischievous but he's harmless. But as a pup...

Yuu immediately did the responsible thing and built a barrier between Ruggie and the other cubs. Hyenas do best as only children ironically.

Say what you want but Hyenas are born aggressive. In fact, when they are born they will begin attacking their littermates, especially those of the same gender and they will kill each other. This means less competition for food. They are social animals which means showing dominance is important from birth.

There's also the fact that their bite is literally worse than their bark. Ruggie would gladly bite Jack's fragile neck the moment the barricade goes down. Jack was currently the smallest of the three and an easy target.

Ruggie isn't being murderous and his intention isn't to hurt anyone but Hyenas are built differently from the rest. Stronger jaws, thicker skin, and high immunity makes him dangerous on principle.

Yuu had seen caretakers separate many hyena litters to keep them safe and Yuu knows its only responsible. No amount of whining from Ruggie will convince them to set him free. He stays in baby jail.

Ruggie was dangerous cute though with this hair much darker and his tiny yips. That is until Ruggie wanted Yuu to know he was hungry.

Unlike the others who had cute little mews and whines, hyenas had a unique sound to get mom's attention. It's called Squitting and the sounds like nails on chalkboards but worse. And Ruggie is a loud pup. Its the equivalent to psychological terrorism until Ruggie is fed and ironically not just any food will do.

Ruggie saw Jack getting hand fed earlier and demands the same. (Hyenas only get what they want with boldness) Yuu gives in as they dodge the pup's every attempt to chew up their fingers.

Yuu was exhausted and took a nap when Ruggie finally went to sleep only to wake up when the hyena managed to lure Leona to where the makeshift baby cage was. Ruggie clearly wanted to do more than nip this time.

After removing the lion cub, Ruggie was given stuffed animals to rip apart instead. Many toys were beheaded that day.

Jack

A normal one thank god! Okay, not normal but certainly contained.

He was younger than the other two and while he can crawl he wasn't walking. He couldn't cause any trouble.

Jack had slightly darker hair at his age and bright blue eyes. They would change when he got older. He also clearly couldn't see or hear well yet. His ears were still curled.

Okay, that last part was not true. Jack wasn't a biter but he would nibble on Yuu when he got hungry. He was clingy and because he was younger than the others he'd get preferential treatment. Leona and Ruggie hated that. Every time Yuu picked him up the others began fussing and yelling. But if Yuu put him down Jack would begin crying and howling.

When it was time for Jack to 'go' Yuu had to massage Jack's belly to encourage him. Yuu wondered if it was the same for human babies because they were surprised by how well it worked. They would also hold this over Jack's head that they changed his diapers.

When he wanted Leona's toy he'd roll around and whine while trying to take it. It's normal behavior for a pup.

Wolf pups are spoiled by the pack. All older members give into their whelp's desires and Jack wants Leona to give in. This "Puppy privilege" won't work on Leona though who hissed at the pup.

When that didn't work Jack whined for Yuu to get it for him which didn't work. Jack tried his best though as he nuzzled into Yuu's body. Yuu gave him a different toy instead.

Thankfully Jack didn't get attacked by the others and went to sleep.

End

Yuu thanked any merciful deity when the boys turned back. They had no interest and raising them.

Human or beast babies are trouble especially ones with instincts to cause trouble. They are lucky they were cute.

#vet!yuu #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland yuu #twisted wonderland leona #leona kingscholar #twst leona #leona x reader #leona kingsholar x reader #ruggie bucchi #twisted wonderland ruggie #twst ruggie #ruggie x reader #ruggie bucci x reader #twst jack x reader #jack howl x reader #jack howl #twst jack

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bombshelllblonde · 1 year

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rdr2 head canons about modern technology, social media, etc-

dutch is convinced the 5G is ruining our brains, covid vaccines are just microchips, all the right wing conspiracy theories are correct. he owns a flip phone and uses t9 word to communicate. texts that arthur and john receive look like this “COME HOME SON. ND 2 TLK ABT PLAN. DO NOT REPLY”

hosea has an ipad, a kindle, a laptop, a home PC, and alexa echo, an amazon fire tv, a smart fridge, etc. he is actually one of those old guys who accidentally went viral one time on tiktok and he has a loyal following

the video that went viral was jack recording the fight that broke out in camp between hosea and bill. that video got over 1 million views and everyone loved it

jack helped hosea make his own tiktok account and he immediately gained followers overnight

arthur is the “hot son” who doesn’t like to be on hosea’s tiktoks. arthur always turns his back when hosea tries to include him in the videos

john is the other son that actually wants to be on camera but Half of hosea’s comments are “where’s the hot cowboy, we don’t want the greasy one”

sean pretends to be a twitch streamer and only plays truck simulator or untitled goose game. he has about 300 viewers and he gets money just because of his accent

charles has a facebook but it hasn’t been updated since 2009. his profile picture is a stock photo he found online of a bison with one of those BLM frames around it. his youtube recommendations are just asmr pottery making videos

bill gets into fights on reddit constantly. moderators have banned him from almost every subreddit he has joined, except for two sentence horror stories. he loves that subreddit too much so he leaves it alone

lenny has 76 unopened text messages from the last 6 months. his gmail account has over 20k emails

trelawny loves snapchat. he loves a multi part snapchat story rant from the inside of his tesla, while he is wearing the cat ears filters. he sets the tesla to auto pilot so he can use both his hands to speak and record and animate the retelling of the “bullshit from the starbucks drive thru”

javier is strictly android

tilly is strictly apple

kieran got a hand me down blackberry phone and still uses it to this day. no one understands how it still works

ok well that’s it

bye

#arthur morgan #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #rdr 2 #dutch van der linde #john marston #hosea matthews #bill williamson #josiah trelawny

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pheonixkenny · 17 days

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So I was watching a video essay about why Kenny’s the best character in South Park (which is true), and they said something about how his close friends don’t really care about him and I’m just like “wait, that’s not true……is it?” I mean, yeah, during the “Kenny dies every episode” era of the show you could say that since his deaths are often laughed off after the catchphrase is said. Even without that aspect this is the era where Stan and Kyle were almost as bad as Cartman, so they’d make fun of him for being poor, make him eat/do gross things for money, Kyle even said that he “didn’t give a rats ass about Kenny” back in season two. But I feel like that’s no longer true. Their characters have changed quite a bit since then, Kyle especially goes from being a jerk to being the voice of reason. Obviously Cartman doesn’t care about anyone but himself, but I think the others do. In “Kenny Dies” they’re all distraught at the prospect of Kenny dying permanently. Kyle even contradicts what he said in season two by claiming that he cares a lot about him. Since then there’s been times that they’ve proven they care like in “Best Friends Forever” where they fight to keep Kenny on life support, Kyle tries comforting him during his “I can’t die” rant in “Coon vs Coon and Friends” (even though that didn’t go so well.), and they all still want to be friends with Kenny in the Vaccination Special, even trying to stay together for his sake. (Though maybe that’s not a good example as they treat him like their kid and not as an equal.) But then, there’s also times past “Kenny Dies” where they’re back to their old habits regarding him, like in “Ladder to Heaven” where they just want his candy raffle ticket and don’t care about seeing him again. And in “The Scoots” where they kick him out of trick or treating with them since he can’t use the scooters. (Though they at least are upset about that.) So…. I dunno. I think they do care, they’re just not always the best friends towards him. (Let’s be honest, they’re not always the best friends toward each other either.) And I know that I write them nicer in fics than they probably would be in canon, but I just want Kenny to have friends who love him, cause he deserves it and I know for a fact that he cares about them. What do you guys think? Am I correct in thinking that they care or am I just completely off the mark?

#People have commended me for my on point characterization in other fics for other fandoms #but in South Park it’s harder to keep everyone in character because the show has gone on for so long that their personalities have changed #you can make an argument that they care and you can make one that they don’t #there are so many things like that in SP #you could make an argument for characters acting so many different ways #so I hope I’m not writing them too ooc #south park #kenny mccormick #kyle broflovski #stan marsh

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is-the-snake-video-cute · 1 year

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Snake Myths: Field Snakebite Cures

For this series on snake myths, I'll be going through the results of this poll in order (and please feel free to suggest other topics!).

The myth: there are a wide variety of myths about what you should do if you're bitten by a venomous snake. The most common ones I hear are that you should "suck the venom out of the wound" or try to "cut" it out with a knife. Other myths recommend using a tourniquet, icing the bite, or even shocking it with electricity!

The origins: these myths probably got their start with folk medicine, which makes sense, because they can sound intuitive! It's easy to understand the temptation to just "suck the venom out." Beyond word of mouth, these myths were spread especially in cowboy Westerns and pulp novels to gain a place in popular culture, and I can even remember "cutting the venom out" being a tip in old boy scout handbooks!

The perpetuation of these myths aren't helped by how easy it is to find snakebite "kits" containing things like suction cups and tourniquets.

The reality: if you're bitten by a venomous snake, trying to suck or cut venom out won't do you any good, and only has the potential to cause further damage. Venom injection works similarly to a vaccine in terms of mechanics - once it's in, you're not getting it back out. Using a tourniquet or icing the bite can also cause disasterous damage because you're trapping the venom in a small area - if you use a tourniquet or ice a bite, you're drastically increasing the odds that you're going to lose the limb the bite is on.

Some snakes will dry bite - bite without injecting venom. Even if you feel fine after the bite, though, remember that snake venom generally isn't fast-acting, so it's important to treat every bite from a venomous snake as a medical emergency.

So, what should you do if you're bitten by a snake? The answer depends on whether you're in Australia or not.

If you're literally anywhere other than Australia:

If you have a marker/pen, draw a circle around the initially affected area and jot down the time. This will help the folks at the ER know how quickly the venom is affecting you.

Remove any clothing or jewelry, quick. Viper bites especially can cause massive swelling, and the last thing you want is to lose a finger because you can't get a ring off.

Keep the bite lower than your heart - avoid the urge to elevate because that'll just help the venom move along quicker. Never, ever ice the wound or apply a tourniquet; you'll almost certainly lose the affected limb if you do that. Avoid compression bandages, too - that's a recipe for disaster with viper bites, so unless you're in Australia, just play it safe.

It'll be hard, but try to stay as calm as you can. Remember you've got time, and the slower your heart rate is, the slower the venom is going to affect you.

And get to the hospital ASAP!

If you're in Australia:

If you're in Australia, you were 100% bitten by an elapid, and that makes things a bit more dire BUT it also means that this is the one exception in the world where you should use a compression bandage if you know how. Compression bandages are disastrous for viper bites, but you weren't bitten by a viper.

Keep the bitten area as still as you possibly can. If it's on a limb, splint it if you know how.

If you're not alone, have whoever's with you run for help while you stay put. The key is to avoid moving as much as possible to slow the spread of the venom!

Elapid bites don't have the same kind of wiggle room as viper bites. If you can keep yourself as still and calm as possible and keep the bite area immobilized, you increase your odds of survival!

And, of course - get to a hospital!

#not a rating #snake myths #snake bites #venomous snakes #snake safety

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