#like I’d hate to point something out and then everyone’s like

[marragurl]

I have this VISCERAL need for an AU where everyone’s perception of Ratiorine is completely skewed and they all think they hate each other when in reality they’re actually married.

They had a small ceremony years ago, fully live together, have matching pajama sets, cutely bicker and have inside jokes with each other, constantly use endearments when referring to one another in public, have a combined 20 step hygiene routine, are each other’s first choice if there’s a mission that require 2 people, AND NO ONE BELIEVES THEY’RE MARRIED! OR EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP!

AVENTURINE EVEN SIGNS HIMSELF AS AVENTURINE RATIO ON INVITES OR LETTERS OR PAPERWORK (Kakavasha Ratio on their marriage certificate, I like to think in this AU they’ve worked through their past trauma together already), BUT EVERYONE THINKS IT’S A TYPO AND HE MEANT TO WRITE THEM SEPARATELY SINCE THEY’RE ALWAYS ASSIGNED ON MISSIONS TOGETHER.

The only people who know are the Stonehearts, and that’s only due to Aventurine’s contract/work as IPC, so they were the ones who officiated/were witnesses to the wedding.

Everytime they all go out to get a drink or something, I need Topaz in the back looking insufferable as Ratiorine are in full lovey-dovey mode AND NO ONE NOTICES. I’d be the same girl, they could broadcast their honeymoon and STILL people would think it’s some weird powerplay hate thing, Topaz is later found crying to Jade about how she finally understands why Ratio calls everyone idiots, how are people so blind?! They’ve even started using the same motions and same phrases Jade, WHY CAN NO ONE ELSE SEE IT???

The only reason the Penacony plan goes off without a hitch is that everyone has the biggest preconceived notion that Aventurine and Raio despise each other WHEN IT’S JUST THEIR USUAL MARRIED BICKERING. NO ONE CAN EVEN FATHOM THE TWO OF THEM LIKING EACH OTHER, LET ALONE MARRIED???

(In this AU, Aventurine gives up his room because the Reverie made the same mistake of not understanding the signature and assigned him and Ratio to different rooms, and now there’s a nice clean way of getting rid of the extra room, making a connection with the Astral Express, AND rooming with his dear husband, what great luck!)

I want it to get to a point where they could fully make out in front of Sunday and the man would STILL believe that Ratio would betray Aventurine. Aventurine during the entire interrogation scene is just constantly in the state of “my husband is such a good actor, I’m so proud of him” *heart eyes and winks to Ratio when Sunday isn’t looking* and Ratio is just straight up looking worried for Aventurine and immediately rushes after him when it’s all over AND NO ONE BATS AN EYE

Ratio just mentally apologizing to Aventurine after every little fake fight they have and dying on the inside and doubling down on every bit of affection he can in between (and even during) the fights, and Aventurine is just having fun having his husband’s attention all to himself no matter the form. (plus the rush of knowing just how much they trust each other always makes him warm)

Aventurine is fully ok with this weird perception people have of him and his husband since it always helps with his schemes and gambles paying off, and while Ratio wants to bash everyone in the head for even daring to think he hates his husband, he keeps quiet because he trusts that Aventurine will always come back to him and make it all work.

But that’s not enough to stop him with showering Aventurine with adoration and love in public. If the public are too much of idiots to realize something as obvious as their love, Ratio won’t stop it from showing his dear husband just how much he means to him.

This is fully AU of course, we all know canon Ratiorine is the longest softest pining game in history. Funny enough, Topaz is still suffering in the back due to their relationship shenanigans. She better be getting some financial compensation for this, I just know Aventurine complains to her about his crush. Ratio is fully at his own place writing out thesis after thesis about the meaning of love and psychoanalyzing his own feelings. He forwards them to Topaz for review because I like to think she’s somehow become a weird bouncing board for his frustrations about her coworker. Topaz is crying.

#honkai star rail #hsr aventurine #aventurine honkai star rail #hsr #ratio hsr #dr ratio #dr ratio honkai star rail #ratiorine #aventio #idk what else to put here #I just #we keep getting so much ratiorine food #I’m drowning in them #I can’t-

[hannahssimblr]

I shoulder through the front doors into the fresh spring air, still a little breathless with adrenaline, to where Michelle is waiting for me. She looks unhappy. 

“How did it go?” I say. 

“Oh, awful, they were like robots, so intimidating. I didn’t know what they thought of my work, you know? I really thought I’d start crying at one point.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and that woman was so cold. She was pulling all of these faces at my self portraits and saying they were naive.”

“Oh, God,” In an attempt at reassurance I start rubbing her arm, “I’m sure they liked plenty things about your work.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I sensed they hated all of it.”

“They couldn’t have, it’s probably just your perception, they… I bet they’re harsh to everyone, you know? They probably don’t want to get anyone's hopes up with there being limited places and all…”

She looks at me, “Was yours bad too?”

“Awful,” I say without missing a beat, “Same as you, they gave me nothing. It was hard to tell what they really thought of my work, but they didn’t seem overjoyed by any of it to be honest.”

“Oh,” her shoulders relax, “well if they were like that with you then they must be just playing hard ball.”

“I think so.”

“What if we don’t get in?”

“Well fuck ‘em,” I grin, “We don’t need them. NCAD? Who cares, right? It’s not exactly at the top of our list.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“I usually am.”

“Something else will work out, right?”

“Of course it will! C’mon, let’s just grab a coffee and chill out,” I drape my arm over her shoulder and walk her around the corner to where I parked the car. 

The car, the brand new, shiny, blue Volkswagen Polo that my parents got me for my eighteenth birthday, is gleaming under the afternoon sun, one tyre wedged awkwardly against the kerb because I haven’t yet mastered the art of parallel parking when there are two other impatient drivers beeping their horns at me and gesticulating wildly out their windows. 

“He just got his fucking licence, you spas!” Michelle screamed at them from the passenger window as I manoeuvred myself into a gap big enough to house an articulated truck but somehow felt the width of a water closet as soon as I tried to fit my 1.0 litre hatchback into it. I could have told her that firing middle fingers at other drivers left and right wasn’t really doing much to diffuse the situation, but it seemed she was reaching some sort of catharsis from it. She likes that. Screaming, I mean.

This car has been a point of contention, not because I can’t park it well, but because it was an extravagance I neither needed nor desired. “We live in the city,” I protested when my parents handed me the keys, “I can just take the bus.” But they had this idea that I might like to drive it into school and be the envy of all the other students, poverty stricken losers without parents who can buy them vehicles worth half the average national salary. I told them I can just walk like always, and they didn’t like that. 

“This is a good present,” said my dad, as though insisting could make it so, “You can drive all over, you won’t have to rely on public transport any more.”

“Did I say I didn’t like public transport?”

“Well, you could get mugged on the bus, someone could pull out a knife and take your phone and all of your money! That kind of thing is happening all over the city lately.”

I showed him my Nokia from 2004 and asked him what kind of person might like to risk prison for it, but he didn’t appreciate that, and it just escalated the argument further. 

“I’m not going to even live in Ireland in a year, not if I can help it!” I cried with exasperation, after a further ten minutes of his dramatics, “What’s the point?”

“Sell it then!” he bellowed back, “I don’t care what you do! It’s yours!”

“I just don’t need it! It’s too much. You can use that money for something better.”

“Money? Money is not an issue.”

“Well that car will be wasted just sitting in the driveway.”

“You’ll figure out what to use it for.”

And I did. I still walk to school, I still take the bus into town most days (when I’m not hauling two A1 portfolio cases along with me), but sometimes, late at night Michelle and I drive up and down the coast. We get ice cream at the drive through, we talk, but mostly I park it in the darkest corner of some car park, sea facing for maximum romance, and we fuck in the passenger seat. Not that I’ve kept track of it by any means, but I’m almost certain I have spent more time having sex in my shiny, blue, Volkswagen Polo than actually driving it. I’m sure it wasn’t Christopher’s intention for it, and it might affect the resale value, but the car has become a haven of sorts, a place where we can go to be alone, at a safe distance from my nosy sister, from Michelle’s anxious father, and perhaps most vitally, from Jen, who has never quite stopped being weirded out by our relationship, even with nine full months to get used to it.

Beginning // Prev // Next

#lucky boy 2010 #the car <3 #you'll be happy to know that Christopher is such a fucker #tw: sex

[curatorofvibes]

Saturn in the 11th House

Saturn in the 11th / Eleventh House natal. Don’t let astrology limit you, you can be who you dream you are!

Saturn in the 11th House. That feeling that you can’t “fit in”, especially with your age group. Yearning for a true connection, people who really love you for you and not how you make them feel, what you can give them, or the idea of you. Wanting to be recognized and given your flowers while you’re still here to receive them (give them their props, they tend to feel really unappreciated). Loving being alone as a result of never really feeling like you connect with others or feeling understood. Just hating surface level shit. But wait... Have you ever had a friendship break your heart? Lol but no seriously!? Like I trusted you and I let you in, I showed you the most vulnerable parts of myself and that’s something I never do. It’s like.. How could you? I understand some people don’t really take friendships that seriously and just go around calling anyone and everyone their “friend” and “best friend”, but that shit means a lot to the native with this placement and it’s not just a title. If they consider you a friend they really mean it. Can I be understood and loved for me? You can’t give that to me, so I have no problem giving that to myself. ~♡CuratorofVibes♡

Saturn in the Eleventh House Perfect Description (in my opinion): Saturn In The Eleventh House : The Atheris hispida Snake

Here’s the link to the playlist:

(…)

(At this point just... leave me alone.)

(I don’t know who to trust anymore.)

(“I’d rather have quality than quantity.”)

(I want to be loved for me.)

(Trust Issues.)

(“I like bein’ alone.”)

("Please don't think I'm insecure.")

(I'm surrounded by so many people, yet I feel so alone.)

(Find myself asking: “Is this really what people talk about and value?”)

(“If you go cost my peace, then I go take my leave.”)

(I’ve decided to remain reclusive.)

(I don’t “fit in”, and that’s fine.)

(Far beyond pretending that I need you.)

(“Me, myself and I. That's all I got in the end, that’s what I found out.” - Beyoncé)

(I choose me.)

(Will anyone ever really see me?)

(♄.)

I originally made this post on December 27, 2021 and then I put it on private for reasons that I do not recall. I'm unable to reblog the original and its moodboard, so I've created this new post. I hope whoever indulges in and with this playlist and post enjoys it. I love reading comments, so if you have anything to say about this placement, playlist, and/or post don't be shy (but if you are, send something in the asks lol)! 🤎💫

I would also like to state that I'm not an astrologer, I created this post because of the playlist that I made in relation to this astrological placement and simply wanted to share it with whoever it finds its way to.

#Spotify #astrology #astrology playlist #playlist #saturn #11th house #eleventh house #saturn in the 11th house #saturn in 11th #saturn in 11th house #natal chart #birth chart #astrology notes #astrology observations #astro notes #astro observations #astrology placements #saturn in houses #saturn through the houses #curatorofvibes

[shortformdrip-blog]

Hey remember when everyone saw this image from the trailer and thought it was either N going feral or a flashback of N killing Nori?

Well turns out it was actually just a flashback of N PARTICIPATING IN AN APOCALYPSE

That flashback sure makes the one from episode 4 make a lot more sense, huh?

#this was sitting forgotten in my drafts #hopefully this doesn’t seem too obvious #like I’d hate to point something out and then everyone’s like #well duh #oh well #just doing my best #murder drones ep 7 #murder drones spoilers #murder drones #serial designation n #murder drones cyn #flashback #murder drones flashback

[halfricanloveyou]

ok ok ok like i thought “the chosen” would suck cause “blah another series about the life and times of jesus” like we GET it it’s been around for CENTURIES you guys make the same damn movie all the time

but it’s actually legit really good? lots of pretty good representation! not everyone in the movie is white. actual portrayals of jewish culture instead of just ignoring that part. disabled people. matthew being autistic. characters that aren’t just two dimensional. the people in it feel like real people. there’s actual jokes, jesus cracks a few and they’re really funny?? so far nothing hateful, no gay or transgender bashing. it calls out the church for being judgemental and hateful in a way that’s very tasteful

it’s not perfect tho. jesus is…still white for some reason? despite mary not being white? and no one else around him being white? no gay people in it which is kind of a bad and a good thing…but it’s a portrayal of jesus and the people around him as human. as real life people who felt things and made jokes and rolled their eyes and stuff. also the guy they cast as jesus is pretty hot as are all the disciples. which isn’t the point or whatever but i can’t say i’m complaining. it’s free online and i think it’s worth a watch!

#it’s an adaptation of jesus that is more realistic #ofc he’s perfect and doesn’t sin but the point was that he was loving and kind and considerate and people all wanted to be around him #he doesn’t hesitate to walk straight into the dangerous or sketchy areas #he genuinely connects with and loves everyone he meets #they take liberties ofc but none of them are bad and add to the series as a whole #also as always i’m still gay and transgender as ever so no trad catholics or whatever touch this pls #but as a christian it makes my heart feel warm #it’s taken so so long to get an adaptation of any kind that depicts jesus as the kind of man who genuinely loves the people around him #not as some deity but as a human being loves other human beings #he is very human in this. it’s something christian’s don’t like to talk about #but if he went around talking like they do to other people #he wouldn’t have been able to last 10 seconds in the areas he was at #he wouldn’t have been welcomed there #it feels more faithful to the actual bible then they ever make him sound in any church service i’ve ever been in #the chosen #seriously check it out! it’s a genuinely good watch #especially if you have an interest in religion in general #i thought i’d hate it but i love it #pls know i’m being genuine abt this #and also the dudes they cast actually could pass as the age the actual apostles and actual jesus were #instead of being like 40-50 lmao #and them being hot is like just an added bonus sorry i have eyes

[theamazingannie]

Love the way people will simultaneously hate on celebrities for voicing opinions about politics because they aren’t educated enough on the topic and also condemn celebrities who don’t speak out about politics when they are clearly not the kind of person who is properly educated on the topic

#like pick a side #maybe the reason global superstar Taylor swift hasn’t spoken out about Palestine is because she is white American global superstar #and not a fucking expert on international politics #this expectation that every single person with the slightest but of a platform #should speak out on every single issue #is so unbelievably harmful #not just to the person who gets hate for no reason and also is expected to emotionally exaust themselves for your personal morality points #but because of all of the celebrities that DO speak out and clearly aren’t educated enough on the issue and spread gross propaganda #to their massive followings #like I’d rather a celebrity stay silent on politics than ruin my perception of them #because they decided to have a public opinion about something that is awful #i don’t need stranger things ruined for me because Noah Schnapp called all Palestinian supporters terrorists #i dont ask the political leanings of the clerk at the grocery store #so why do we expect this of our actors and singers #(and i only brought up Taylor cuz I just saw someone condemning her and it’s so annoying #this happens with every single political event #not everyone can be properly informed on every single issue and it’s wrong to expect them tl #i just want them to sing their silly little songs and act their silly little movies) #if they’re like an outright shitty person I want to know that #but if they’re just dumb and fall to propaganda on an issue that doesn’t affect them then just silently think wrong #and hopefully it’ll give them the chance to silently learn a better way #once they publicly post it they’re more likely to double down when called out #idk just more 2am rants ignore me as you do

[ssreeder]

Hey!! I just wanted to say thanks for all your hard work <3<3

I had been a little down when it came to creating more content or being involved in Zukka side of the fandom but seeing your update reminded me to just have fun. And okay this is going to sound bad but I swear I mean this as a compliment; I thought I was wasting my time working for months and years on the stuff I made, but then I realized your fic series brings me so much joy and I'd never, ever judge you for the amount of effort you put into your writing. Seeing it's actually inspiring, to see that someone holds that much passion and creativity and you are sharing it all for FREE. That a person could take all this time to intricately weave together a story, create memorable OCs, breathe new life and make the ATLA world so much bigger than it ever was in canon.

So thanks for accidentally giving me a kick in the butt to stop being judgy about my own work and making me realize you and every fan creator is AWESOME.

I hope you have a wonderful day, your writing is a blessing.

awwww I wanted to say thank you for sending me this ask! I know it’s not easy to put yourself out there, even on anon, so I think it’s cool you felt confident enough to come here and tell me about how you’re feeling.

I don;t think what you’re saying is bad at all haha, because honestly, I feel the same way. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wondered why the fuck am I still doing this? What’s the point? Do people even still care? What if it’s not good enough? What if people discover I have no fucking idea what I’m doing? Why am i spending so much of my time and effort doing this?? I mean… the self doubt is super real, and shiiiiiit let me discover one person that feeds into my self doubt and I’m full on spiraling haha. (Be nice to creators damn it! we are doing our damn best lol)

I’m really glad you think my fic is awesome, and if it weren’t people like you reminding me, I probably would have given up a long time ago haha. I do give my fic a lot of effort, and I hope you continue to give your creations the same amount of love and effort! I’m sure you’re amazing, and seriously don’t give up! I care about your creations and if I don’t get to stop neither do you! WOHOOO!!

Thanks for the ask anon sorry it took me so long to answer

#I am the kind of person who is like AWWWW NO ASKS… #then I get an ask and I’m like YAY ASK!!! #& then I;m like OH NO HOW DO I ANSWER THIS ASK!?!?!? #but then if I don’t get an ask in a while I assume everyone hates me and then the cycle starts over again when I get another ask #but seriously anon DON’T STOP CREATING!!!!! #I wish the voices in our head weren’t constantly trying to discredit us #I also think the pressure we put on ourselves to be good enough is fucking dumb #like who cares if people like reblog comment kudo all that stuff #but ugh we all care so much #I love that you see all my passion and creativity in LIAB because I do put a lot of effort into that stupid fic #and yeah it stresses me out but when I see that it brings people joy and its worth it #& its not even that it’s stressful to write #I fucking love writing it #but yeah don’t think you’re alone with the ‘what’s the point’ thoughts #I’m sure we’ve all been there #at least I know I have been there #and kind of still am in there hahaha #thanks for this ask anon I hope I didn’t ramble too much #I hope you show me when you create something new! I’d love to see it #LIAB #ask

[solargeist]

your uhh instagram stories about hazbin hotel are real based j think. his arms look weird. the colouring is weird . help !!!!!! ahhhhh help me !!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ART THEORY IS DRIVING ME INSANE I CANT STAY QUIET NO LONGER !!!!!

#ask #the colours are bad the composition is bad everyone sounds weirdly flat like . it got picked up and then got worse like HOW‼️⁉️ #i liked the pilot when it came out. with minor complaints…. I wonder how I’d feel if I rewatch it aksjsjs #since I was like what.. 19 or something.. #i personally do not enjoy helluvaboss humor or writing so. .. I think I will dislike the premiere phphph #I’ll probably check it out when it releases . if I can? no idea where it’s being posted . but I fear second hand embarrassment tbh #I’m way too opinionated I could feel myself festering . I’m just mostly shocked wahh #this ain’t me hoping on a hate train this is all genuine 😭💥 #disclaimer! i am not that great of an artist and I make these mistakes as well. however hazbin was picked up by a24 and no longer indie- #-basic colour theory mistakes shouldn’t happen at that point #the fact that all the colours need a drop shadow bc everything is bright red is not a good look. everything looks flat and jarring #colours? Characters**

[quietplaceinthestars]

I wish people who write lotr fanfic didn’t inevitably end up writing low key constant emotional abuse to their blorbo.

#kicking a hornets nest here #but I’ll start reading something lighthearted and wonder I start feeling more and more uncomfortable the further in I get #the Peter jacksonification and what I suspect are culturally W.A.S.P ppl writing fic #without having read the books or. rely on period dramas for world building #idk it just ends up creating what feels like something deeply insidious masqarading as some teen fixit fic where everybody lives #and then I feel insane and overly sensitive for wanting half the shire Gandalf thranduil and 2/3ds the dwarves & bilbo to kill them selves #bc I cannot fathom how a any fuckjng says that b why would let someone say or do something like that to you #and then I realize it’s. it’s the same reylo #it’s the same 50 shades of grey mentality type stuff #I hate to assume anything about anyone’s identity over one fic. but be fr. either you genuinely believe this is normal or you’re writing #you’re writing it for plot reasons. and like. that’s how you advance the plot? I’d rather read dead dove at this point. #fuck it everyone dies. #talking tag #this is obv. a massive generalization. gods know I beat the hell out of my blorbos #but I am tired. the horse is dead and you’ve beaten it so much it’s glue and fish is toothpaste.

[exopelagic]

okay facing consequences of my actions

#I thought I’d gotten away with it this time #okay it’s 3am and I may have discovered something that completely ruins me #everyone is asleep so I can’t tell if this is me being sleep deprived or not! #so I need to sleep now but I haven’t cleaned my code up or written my answers #I do Not have time #if I don’t sleep now I’m gonna be having a bad time tomorrow morning and I am significantly less productive rn than I could be #with other people around I kinda need that y #so I should go to bed. but also. this code needs cleaning. but also. even if I fall asleep now I’m only getting like 5 hours MAX #I need a good few hours tomorrow morning to have a shot at doing this properly #so it would be more useful to sleep now and wake up as early as possible than keep going tonight bc I’m not going to finish tonight #okay. fuck. I hate this #if I could think straight I’d be able to fix this easy which is probably a good reason to sleep #it’s just an annoying logical problem that I gotta follow through bc currently I’m stuck between three possibilities and there might be more #I have these two rasters and I gotta calculate the area overlap #the first method counts the number of presence points in each (probably) and then counts the number in overlap raster w manually set values #the second counts total predicted points and points where they’re predicted to be alone and does a calculation with that for each species #that one with all points from both species + pseudoabsence. vs method 3 which does that with just individual species coordinates #method 1&2 are now homologous now I JUST caught the logical error but method 3 is what he gave us #but actually he might have fucked up in not including pseudoabsence #i don’t know if method 3 works for two different species either honestly #it gives me results I like much more (my overlap is 100% for one of the species and that shoooouldnt rlly happen even if it’s possible) but #I think it might actually just be wrong because it can’t account for #wait so the line is taking the prediction for all coordinates for each species for each species’ initial coordinates. and not pseudoabsence #and that set of predictions for each species coordinate set is then taken and yeah it’s no longer comparable you can’t count each alone #not with two different species bc you need an overlapping dataset to do that OKAY I have solved that logical problem my initial method works #which is annoying bc the result sucks but whatever I checked the rasters and it’s actually identical so #okay now I’ve figured that out. twenty minutes later. sleep I think it’ll help most #luke.txt

[areyouwho-ithinkyouare]

there is… a job.. and it’s kinda perfect for me i think.. and it’s working somewhere i already know and love………. and the pay is good… and the hours are what i’m after………. and it’s easy enough to get to….

#problem is i LOVE my current job but the hours aren’t really enough #and they do give me as much overtime as i could possibly expect but at the end of the day… i’m contracted for one day a week. #so anything else is a big fat ??? even if it’s fairly regular #like in the past year i’ve mostly been doing three days a week despite what my contract says. like i DO get a lot of extra shifts. #but bcus it’s all extra there’s not exactly….. security in that. i can’t expect/rely on it. #and this other job would give me that. #BUT i’d have to leave the current job that i love and feel very supported in. #since i started i’ve worked with a lot of different people and have never ONCE heard a bad word said about this org. #everyone who works here is happy here. and so am i. it’s a really great workplace environment. #so. i’m scared that i’ll quit this job and move somewhere else and. fucking hate it there. #and wish i’d never made that move but by that point it’s too late and i’m stuck there. #i could easily move up the ladder at current job except i can’t easily commute to many other branches #and the ones i CAN get to aren’t hiring #at least not for the positions i’d want #so it’s like. do i stick it out with the uncertainty of my current workload and hope something comes up so i can just swap to another role #but who knows when that would happen #OR do i jump ship for another org and risk finding myself in a shitty work environment i resent being part of

[vanessagillings]

I’m posting the ever-so-rare photo of myself alongside one of my characters based on my childhood because today is World Autism Acceptance Day, and I wanted to show my little corner of the internet who this particular autistic person is:  

I was officially diagnosed in February, at age 38 (I’m now 39). A lot of people thought I couldn’t be autistic.  Some people who know me in real life still don’t.  And until around 10 years ago, I didn’t think I could be either, because I was nothing like the stereotype media portrays. I was told that autistics lacked empathy (untrue), and never played make-believe (also often untrue) and only enjoyed STEM.  I was — and am — an empathetic artist -- and make believe?  I can spend days sketching finely bedecked bears brewing tea or carefully choosing the right words to weave tapestries of fiction — though perhaps my hyper focus was a bit of a red flag.  Even so, how could autism describe me?  I was a good student.  I got straight A's. I didn’t act out in class.  I can make eye contact…if I must.  And lots of girls hate having their hair brushed with an unholy passion, right?  Clearly I swim in sarcasm like a fish, so autism couldn't be why I was so anxious all the time, could it?

If someone had told me when I was younger what autism ACTUALLY is — instead of the nonsense I’d seen on screens — I would have seen myself in it.  I didn’t hear that autistics have sensory issues until I was in my mid-twenties, which is when I first began to really research autism symptoms, and I had almost all of them:  sensitivity to light, smells, fabrics, temperatures, textures, and certain touches, all of which make me feel anxious, I fidget (stim), I never know what the hell to do with my hands or where to look, I talk too little or too much, I have special interests, I have entire animated movies memorized shot-by-shot and can remember the first time and place I saw every movie I've ever seen but I often forget what I'm trying to say mid-sentence, I echo movies and tv shows (my husband and I have a whole repertoire of shared echolalias, making up about 20% of our conversations), I was in speech therapy as a kid, I have issues with dysnomia and verbal fluency, I toe-walk, I can't multitask to save my life, I like things just-so, I’m deeply introverted but not shy, I need to recover from all social interaction — even social interaction I enjoy — and I find stupid, every day things like grocery shopping, driving and making appointments overwhelming and intensely stressful, sometimes to the point where I struggle to speak.  It turns out, I am definitely autistic. My results weren't borderline. Not even close. And while these aren’t all of my challenges, and not everyone with these symptoms is autistic, it’s definitely something to look into if you present with all of these things at once. 

So why did it take me so long to get diagnosed? The same bias that exists in media threads through the medical community as well, and because I'm a woman who can discuss the weather while smiling on cue, few people thought I was worth looking into. Even after I was fairly certain I was autistic, receiving an official diagnosis in the US is unnecessarily difficult and expensive, and in my case, completely uncovered by my insurance.  It cost me over $4000, and I could only afford it because my husband makes more money than I do as a freelance illustrator — a job I fell into largely because it didn’t require in-person work; like many autists, I have been chronically underemployed and underpaid, in part due to physical illness in my twenties, which is a topic for another day.  But it shouldn’t be like this.  It shouldn’t be so hard for adults to receive diagnoses and it shouldn’t be so hard for people to see themselves in this condition to begin with due to misinformation and stereotypes. Like many issues in America, these barriers are even higher for marginalized groups with multiple intersectionalities. 

It’s commonly said that if you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person.  This is why it’s called a spectrum, not because there’s a linear progression of severity (someone who appears to have low support needs like myself might need more than it seems, and vice versa), but because every autistic person has their own strengths and weaknesses, challenges and experiences, opinions and needs.  No two people on the spectrum present in the same way.  And that’s a good thing!  No way of being autistic is inherently any better than any other, and even if someone on the spectrum struggles with things I don’t — or can do things I can’t — doesn’t make them more or less deserving of respect and human dignity.

But speaking solely for myself, the more I learn about autism, the happier I am to be autistic.  I struggle to find words and exert fine motor control, but my deep passion and fixation has made me good at art and storytelling anyway.  I find more joy watching dogs and studying leaf shapes on my walks than most people do in an entire day.  More often than not, the barriers I’ve faced weren’t due to my autism directly, but due to society being overly rigid about what it considers a valid way of existing.  My hope in writing this today is that maybe one person will realize that autism isn’t what they thought — and that being different is not the same as being less than. My hope with my fiction is to give autistic children mirrors with which to see themselves, and everyone else windows through which to see us as we actually are.

If you’re interested in learning more about autism or think you might be autistic, too, I recommend the Autism Self Advocacy Network  autisticadvocacy.org and the following books:

What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic by Annie Kotowicz

We're Not Broken by Eric Garcia

Knowing Why edited by Elizabeth Bartmess

Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, PhD

Loud Hands edited by Julia Bascom

Neurotribes by Steve Silberman

(trigger warning: the last two contain quite a lot of upsetting material involving institutionalized child abuse, but I think it’s important for people to know how often autistic children were — and are — abused simply for being neurodivergent).

Thanks for reading 💛

#autism acceptance day #actually autistic

[pb524830]

mine

pairing: paige bueckers x reader word count: 3.6k c/w: sexual content (strap LOL), language synopsis: paige wants her girl that's not quite her girl to wear her jersey, everyone gets jealous and possessive. fun time! a/n: lol this was in the archives but i'm putting it out as a little treat because of the win yesterday!

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No!”

“No.”

“Still no.”

“Just wear my jersey, dude.” Paige is complaining. Again. “No, I’m not wearing your jersey. That’s like tattooing ‘Property of Paige Bueckers’ across my forehead.” Paige raises her eyebrows. “Please do that.” I throw a shoe at her. “That’s not happening.” She dodges it easily. “I swear I’d still have sex with you if you did,” she says. I roll my eyes, retrieving said shoe. “That’s not my main concern here.”

“So you don’t even care that it’s my homecoming game?” She pouts. “No, I don’t.” Paige frowns, flopping onto my bed. “Give me one good reason you won’t.” I scoff. “The entire world is going to know we’re hooking up.” It’s her turn to scoff. “Do you think I’ve hooked up with every person who wears my jersey to a game? Because that’s, like, a lot of people.” I frown at her. “That was a really weird time for you to flex.” She rolls her eyes. “I’m just saying that it’s a popular jersey. It’s not that deep. Plus…” She rolls over so that she’s seated in front of me, tugging at my shirt. “I think you’d look really sexy in it.” I peck her mouth lightly, and she grins. “I’ll think about it,” I tell her. “Yes!” She crows, then leaps off my bed and runs out of my room. “That’s not a yes!” I call after her. 

___________

Amaya Battle. That’s the name of Paige’s high school teammate on the Minnesota team. Am I a little pissed at how close they are? Yes. Am I going to let Paige onto that fact? Certainly not. Am I going to pull out her home jersey that she lent to me and put it on?

Absolutely.

I have no reason to be jealous. I know that. Paige has told me multiple times that Amaya’s like her little sister. But when Paige stops during the handshake line to give her a hug, then goes back to find her and give her a longer hug, a flame fires in the pit of my stomach. I tug off her jersey and shove it into my tote, packing my camera up as Paige goes to do another interview. One of the other media boys, Zach, looks at me curiously. “You all good?” He asks. Zach’s always flirting with me subtly - something Paige really hates. But I get the idea that maybe I can use that today.

“Yeah!” I say brightly. “You wanna go with me to the presser, though?” Zach looks surprised. “Uh, yeah, sure! You normally take Brian, though…” I laugh airily. “Well, today I want to take you,” I gush, laying a hand on his arm. I make eye contact with Paige from across the gym as she takes an interview headset off. Point: Me.

Zach follows me to the presser, where Geno, Aaliyah, and Paige are lined up, seated at a table. I take my phone and click the recording button before setting it on the table. I wink at Paige before walking away, and I turn to see her eyes still on me as the questions begin. Zach unknowingly plays directly into my plan, leaning down to whisper a joke in my ear. I look up at him and laugh, brushing a hand against his shoulder. I catch Paige’s eyes narrowing and her brow furrowing when she looks over. Point: Me.

Zach asks to see my copy of the stat sheet, and I lean closer to him, having him peek over my shoulder to read it. When I turn to him, we’re nearly face to face, and I hear Paige stutter over her answer. “The younger guys… yeah, the younger guys are really stepping up. Sorry, what was the question?” The reporters all laugh, and I shoot her a grin. She shakes her head at me ever so slightly, her nostrils flaring. I step away from Zach, smirking to myself. Checkmate.

As soon as Paige’s questions are done, she storms over to me, grabbing me by the wrist and dragging me to the visitor locker room. She pushes me against a locker, staring down at me, eyebrows raised. “You wanna explain what the hell that was?” I hum, brushing my hands over her shoulders, trailing them down her arms. “What?” I ask. I untuck her jersey as she seethes. “Is there a problem?” I ask innocently. “What kind of shit are you pulling?” She demands, wrenching my hands away from her and pinning them to the lockers above me.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I breathe. She steps closer, searching my eyes. “You know what you’re doing.” Her breath hits my face. I push my face closer. “What are you gonna do about it?” I challenge. Her hips move to pin mine against the locker. “You’re in for it tonight.” I give her a shit eating grin. “I can’t wait,” I murmur, biting my lip. Her eyes search mine again. “Fuck,” she whispers agitatedly, letting me go. I smile sweetly at her, walking out the locker room door without so much as a look back.

______________

Paige doesn’t say another word to me about any of that for the rest of the night. We go back to her place, her childhood home, and we all meet her family. After that, she shows me around her house, her old bedroom, and we hang out with her brother for a bit. It isn’t until after, until the team goes home, that Paige and I get a moment alone.

We’re in her bedroom, her seated on her bed, me looking through the drawers of her dresser. “So, you looked pretty close with Zach today,” she starts. I raise my eyebrows. “We work together,” I muse. She’s quiet. “How’s Amaya?” I ask sweetly, turning to her. She blinks. “Is that what all this is about?” She asks. I play stupid. “All what? I’m just asking how your high school teammate is? After you hugged her multiple times?”

“Bro, she’s like my little sister, I’ve told you,” Paige starts exasperatedly. “Mm-hmm. Did you tell her how much you love her, Paige? How you just miss her so, so much?” I put some whine into my voice, stalking towards Paige to stand between her legs, tugging at her hair. I know I’m being mean, but from the way her breath whistles out, she doesn’t seem to mind it. “You really want to know what Zach and I were talking about?” I ask. She grits her teeth. 

I straddle her waist, attaching my lips to her neck. Her hands immediately go to my hips. “Well, he was telling me how pretty I am,” I start. Her grip tightens on my hips at that. “He was saying,” I murmur, kissing at her jaw. Her jaw goes a little slack, and I grind down against her. “How he can’t get me out of his head.” “Was he now?” She grits out. I smile against her skin. “He was telling me how badly he’s been wanting to ask me out since the beginning of the year.” Her hands trail under my shirt, gripping my torso harshly. “Is that so?” Her voice is strained.

“Mm-hmm,” I hum, kissing down her shoulder, before returning to a spot on her neck and sucking hard. I feel her breathing stutter. “That’s all he said?” She asks. “Oh, of course not,” I say, pulling back to look her in the face. I take her face in one hand, grinding down against her again. I squeeze ever so slightly, then lean in to ghost my lips over hers.

“He was saying how bad he wants to fuck me.”

“Stop.”

I move my lips to her ear. “He was saying how wet my pussy would be for him.” I moan this line out, just to piss her off.

“Baby.”

“He wanted to know how pretty I looked when I came. Does that make you mad, Paige?”

“You know it fucking does.”

I kiss her, hard, grinding down deep and slow. “You want to know what I told him, Paige?”

She’s silent, but her breathing is labored.

“I told him I had a girl, but that she’s too busy fucking other bitches to keep me happy.”

Paige flips at that, turning me around and slamming me onto the bed.

She kisses me hungrily, a hand around my throat. “You know that’s not true,” she snarls, nipping at my lips as she rucks up my shirt. “Do I?” I ask, my eyes rolling up when her mouth attaches to my nipple. “You wanna swear to me you’re not fucking other girls, Paige?” My question is cut off by a moan forcing out of my mouth when she tugs at my nipple, her lips attacking my neck.

“I swear to you that you are the only person I’m fucking,” Her words are hot against my skin as she kisses down my body. She climbs off the bed and wrenches my body to a sitting position, tugging my shirt off, before going for my sweats. “Then why haven’t you asked me to be your girlfriend?” I demand. She freezes. So do I. I hadn’t expected to say that. “That’s what this is about?” She breathes. I cross my arms over my chest subconsciously. “Yes? No. I don’t know.”

She grins stupidly. “Yo?” “Shut up.” “Oh, my God. You were jealous because I hadn’t asked you to be my girlfriend?” She demands. “Paige, stop.” “Of course I want you to be my girlfriend.” Paige kisses me softly, cupping my face. “I’m so sorry. I- fuck. I wanted to ask you this week, and I had this whole thing planned-”

My face burns. “I’m sorry. No, I’m being stupid-”

“You’re not, babe.”

“No, I am. If you were already going to ask… I’m sorry.”

“Baby…”

“Are you gonna kiss me or what?”

“Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

“Yes.”

Paige smiles at me. “That was easy.” I roll my eyes, reaching for her to pull her lips back to mine. “You’re so corny.” She kisses me back eagerly, easing me back against the bed. “Wait,” she pulls back. “Zach didn’t actually say all that shit, right?” I roll my eyes, propping myself up on my elbows. “Of course not,” I scoff. “Good,” she smiles, kissing me lazily. “No one talks dirty to my girlfriend but me.”

I laugh slightly against her mouth, flipping her onto her back and placing my legs on either side of her waist again. I run my fingers slowly through her hair, kissing her deeply. “You’re so cute when you’re jealous,” she mumbles. I move my lips to her jaw, teasing there, and she sighs. “Cute?” I ask. “Sexy, actually,” she amends. “You like making your girlfriend mad? Is that it?” I tug the hem of her shirt up, exploring her torso with my hands. She shudders at my cold fingers. “Yeah, it is,” she breathes, craning her neck up to kiss me. I grin, my mouth mere centimeters away from hers. “You need something?” She searches my eyes, challenging me. “Come on, just kiss me.” I tut. “You’re not in control here, baby,” I tell her, tightening my grip in her hair. I grind against her crotch, moaning breathily in her ear, and she groans. 

“Fuck, baby. Please.” I close my eyes, breathing against her neck. “Sound so pretty when you beg,” I whisper. “I swear to God I’m gonna fuck whatever this is out of you,” she grumbles, flipping me over and tugging my shorts off. She pulls me onto her lap, a hand around my neck to pull my mouth to hers as I grind my clothed core against her abs. “What do you want tonight?” She asks against my mouth. “What do you want to do?” I gasp as the friction against my clit rushes through me. “Fuck. Anything you want.”

“Fingers,” I moan, and she shoves a hand into my panties. “Oh!” I gasp out, throwing my head back when she pinches my clit. “How many do you want to take?” Paige whispers, nipping at my lips. I balance my hands on her shoulders, riding the heel of her palm. “Three,” I say, meeting her eyes with mine. Her nostrils flare. “You’re sure?” I kiss her hard. “I said three, didn’t I?” 

“Oh, fuck!” I cry out when she fills me with three of her fingers, her bottom lip between her teeth. “You’re so tight,” she tells me, fucking into me slowly. I rock up against her, riding her fingers. “Is that good for you?” She asks. I nod, covering her lips with mine as I continue grinding down. She pushes them in deeper, shoving the heel of her hand against my clit. It’s not enough. I moan in agitation, wiggling around to create more pleasure. “Can I… your mouth. Please, fuck, your mouth.” “Whatever you want,” Paige replies immediately. She eases her fingers out and lays me against the bed, pulling my panties down with her as she lowers herself at the edge.

She laps at my pussy slowly, and I throw my head back in a moan, back arching off the bed, fingers gripping at the covers. I wrap a leg around her head, bringing her closer. “Yes, yes, just like that,” I praise, and I feel her grin against my core. “That’s good?” She asks. “So good, fuckkk,” I whine. “So fucking wet,” she tells me. “Wet for Zach or wet for me?” She demands.

I buck my hips against her mouth. “You,” I bite out, eyes rolling back. “Yeah? Why are you talking to Zach, then?” Her pace slows and I wiggle against her, panting. “Was just… fucking with you,” I say, writhing for her to speed up. Her long fingers push against my hip bone, stilling me. “So you think it’s funny to make your girlfriend mad, huh?” She asks, her voice gravelly. I shake my head, clutching at the sheets as she eases her tongue in and out of me. “Were you mad, baby? Is that why?” I gasp as she sucks on my clit, whipping my head to the side.

“Answer me.” “Fuck! Yes, I was mad.” She laps at me faster and I moan, a high pitched keening sound that tears itself from my throat. “So possessive,” she sighs into me. I lace a hand into her hair, my leg still hooked around her neck. “What would you do, huh? If I was fucking another girl like this? Making her come the way I make you come?” My mind is hazy, but the sharp pain of jealousy cuts through the pleasure. I snap my eyes to hers. “I would kill her,” I pant out. She grins wickedly. “Yeah, you fuckin’ would,” she smirks.

Then she shoves two fingers inside of me and I arch off the bed. “Oh, Paige!” I whine out when her fingers curl into me. “Shh, baby. You have to be quieter.” My pussy clenches at the nickname, and Paige pulls away completely. “What the fuck?” I demand as she stands. She watches me wordlessly, pulling her sweats down, and then her boxers. “Paige!” I say harshly.

She shakes her head, fully naked in front of me now, and wraps a hand around my neck, forcing my head upward. “You think you’re coming that easily after the shit you pulled today?” She shoves my face away and I gasp for breath, my core soaked even further. I watch Paige slip into the strap and spread my legs eagerly. She tuts, grabbing my throat again. “Open,” she says. I hesitate, pursing my lips, but she grabs the back of my head and shoves the strap down my throat. I choke on it, my eyes watering, and I slap at her torso, begging her to ease up. She pulls it out, letting it hang in front of me. “Too much?” She mocks, her smirk shit-eating. I narrow my eyes at her, challenging. “Not enough,” I whisper back. I grab the base of the strap, circling my tongue at the tip, then taking it fully into my mouth. I grab her ass to ease it to the back, and she grabs my head, fucking my throat slowly. She winds a hand into my hair, pulling me off of it and forcing my head back. “You’re such a little slut, you know that?” She asks.

I bite my lip, searching her eyes. “Just for you, Paige,” I whisper back. She cocks her head. “What was that?” I smile innocently. “I said I’m a slut for you, Paige,” I repeat. “Oh, yeah?” She smirks. Fuck, that’s hot. She pushes me back, climbing onto the bed to sit against her headboard and spread her legs. “Come sit on my cock, then.”

I love it when she does this. When she acts like the strap is an extension of her, when she makes me suck on it and she fucks me senseless with it. I oblige, crawling towards her and pushing myself up onto my knees, legs on either side of her hips and my hands balanced on her shoulders. Paige grabs my ass immediately, massaging it harshly. “Come on. Fuck yourself on it.”

I lower myself onto the strap slowly, my eyes rolling back as it fills me up. “Fuck, you’re so big,” I whine. Her hand closes around my neck, watching me grind onto her. “Fuck that tight little pussy, bet you like that, huh?” I whimper, moving my lips to hers, but she holds my head in place with the hand around my neck. “Oh, yes!” I moan when she hits a spot deep inside of me. “Yes, Paige, right there,” I whimper, bouncing on her, balancing myself by bracing my hands on her hips. It pushes my tits together, and she watches them intently, licking her lips.

“Hold your hair up,” Paige orders, a hand still loosely at my neck. I move a hand from her waist to push my hair back into a loose pony. “Good fuckin’ girl. Ride me just like that, fuck.” She places two fingers on the tip of her tongue, then shoves them into her mouth, before forcing them between my lips. She lets her hand trace down my torso, eyes tracking the shiny trail her fingers leave, before her fingers find my clit. I whimper. "You need more?" She muses, her voice smug. Her hand comes up to massage my tit and I groan, my eyes rolling back. “I’m gonna come,” I whimper, and she pinches my nipple, her eyes dark with desire. I ride her faster, grinding harder, bouncing up and down on the strap quicker. My climax approaches, but I feel it evading me. “Fuck, I can’t. Paige… oh, God. I can’t,” I try to get out. The hand at my neck goes to my face, brushing my cheek. “Use your words, baby,” she coos, smacking my ass. “Please, Paige," I beg, trying desperately to reach that spot myself, feeling frustration ebb at me when I can't.

Paige grins at me wickedly. "What? Fucked the attitude outta you?" I glare at her, panting. She shakes her head and flips us over, pulling out of me and I whine. Roughly, she loops an arm around my torso, dragging me to all fours. Then she smacks my ass. Hard. I cry out into my hand, collapsing onto my elbows. I gasp as she hits me again, my ass stinging from the impact. "Paige," I whine.

"You need something?" I can practically hear the smirk in her voice, and my legs shake when the tip of her strap teases my entrance. "Fuck, you want it so bad, don't you?" She groans, pushing in ever so slightly. I gasp, clutching at the sheets. "Yes," I moan.

"What, baby? What do you want?"

"Just... please, Paige."

"Use your words."

"I am."

"Who's fucking you?"

I grit my teeth, my pride and my desire for her to fuck me so hard I can't walk tomorrow fighting against each other. "You, Paige."

She hums, squeezing my ass cheeks, sliding into my entrance again. "And whose cock you want?" She pushes in deeper, then pulls out.

"Yours."

"Nobody else's?" There's bite to her tone.

"Just yours," I groan, shoving my head into her sheets, wanting to kill her.

She smacks my ass again, hard, and I lurch forward, my back arching.

"Beg for it then," she snarls.

"Oh, my God. Okay! Please, please fuck me, Paige, please," I just about sob, taking the sheets in betwen my teeth in agitation.

"All you had to do was ask," Paige tuts.

She flips me over onto my back, hand squeezing my neck harder, choking me, and drives into me hard. “Shit!” I whine out. She grabs my hip with one hand and fucks me hard, hard enough that my head smacks against the headboard, hard enough that my face becomes wet with tears. She hits a spot so deep inside me that I see stars, and her free hand circles my clit harshly. “Gonna come? You gonna fucking come on my cock?” She demands.

“Paige! Paige! Paige!” I scream out against my hand, my orgasm crashing through me, Paige’s hips still snapping against mine as she fucks me through it relentlessly. My hands claw at the sheets, claw at her back, surely leaving scratch marks, and she grinds her hips against mine slowly, working me through my climax. “Fuck,” Paige whispers. My body is limp, but satisfied, and I pull her down to me to kiss her lazily. “You better tell Zach as soon as we get back to Storrs,” she murmurs against my mouth. I groan, letting her slip her tongue into my mouth. “Tell him what?” I mumble.

I feel her smirk. “Tell him your girlfriend made you come so hard you forgot his name.”

#paige bueckers #paige bueckers fic #wcbb #fic #uconn wbb #✂️ anon #ncaaw #paige bueckers x reader #fic talk

[hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard]

Okay time for the PBS Kids essay

Read it under the cut!

:readmore:

In 1968, before there was PBS Kids proper, there was Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. While it came several decades before the children’s block, it laid the foundation for the themes and values present in every facet of the network’s history.

Mr. Roger famously hated children’s programming at the time. To him, it all was droll and useless. But he didn’t dissuade the medium entirely— he saw potential. Potential that led to a few smaller television jobs, and eventually the creation of Mr. Roger’s neighborhood.

Rogers didn’t invent educational TV for children, but he did perfect it. He poured real heart and soul into probably the most sincere, heartfelt program in history.

Honestly, he could have his own essay. The more things you learn about the real man of Mr. Rogers, the more you’ll like him.

Anyway, the biggest thing that makes PBS different is the fact that it earns money through grants, fundraisers, and private donors— not through sponsorships and merchandise sales. This way, PBS Kids can push programming that it feels is important, rather than programming that merely sells well.

This also means PBS is less afraid of pushing social boundaries. Money doesn’t go away when their shows become subjects of debate— and Mr. Rogers took full advantage of this.

For context, this was 1969. The Jim Crow era had just barely, barely ended. Pool segregation was still very much legal.

Mr. Rogers sharing a pool and a towel with the Black Mr. Clemmons was a pretty big deal at the time— especially on a show made for children.

Rogers was far from the untouchable sacred cow of today. When he was alive, he had a large number of detractors. Let’s just say that scene didn’t fly nicely by everyone.

Just one year after the debut of Mr. Roger’s came Sesame Street.

While Mr. Roger’s was made for all children, Sesame Street had the explicit goal of supplementing the education of underserved communities— especially inner-city Black (and later Latino) children.

While it was made to be accessible to children of all races and income levels, they definitely went the extra mile to make it something special for inner-city Black and Brown kids. (Why do you think it it’s “Sesame Street” and not “Sesame Cul-de-Sac”?)

At the time, a wholesome, sweet show set in a brownstone street was practically unheard of.

Jon Stone, the casting director, deliberately sought to make the cast as rich with color as he possibly could, bringing on a huge amount of Black talent such as Loretta Long, Matt Robinson, and Kevin Clash, as well as featuring Black celebrities as guest stars. Later, the show would expand its horizons, bringing on actors from Latino, Asian, Native American, and many more backgrounds.

White actors were and still are a minority on show.

In addition to letters and numbers, the purpose of Sesame Street is clear: make kids of color know that they’re smart, beautiful, and loved.

It doesn’t get more explicit than this.

I want to point out this comment because it’s funny

You’re telling me this bitch isn’t Hispanic???

Anyway, these two were followed up by Reading Rainbow in 1983. And guess what?

That’s right. Non-white focus.

These three shows, (along with other, lesser-known programs like Lamb-Chops Play Along, Newton’s Apple, and Shining Times Station (who featured Ringo Starr himself?? seriously how did that happen and why does no one talk about it) and some other nostalgic favorites like Bill Nye the Science guy, The Magic Schoolbus, Arthur, and Thomas the Tank Engine) aired on the new PTV block, which evolved into PBS Kids in 1999, bringing along Between the Lions, Dragon Tales, and many more.

Arthur is another stand-out that I’d like to talk about— it doesn’t have the same racial focus of Sesame Street, but it does focus on different income levels. The characters have various housing situations, from apartments to mansions to no home at all.

It also takes cues from Sesame Street and Mr. Roger’s in regards to talking about tough topics, though as Arthur has a slightly older target audience, it discusses things through stories rather than talking directly to the audience.

Cancer, religion, workplace discrimination, along with current (at the time) events such as 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina are all discussed on the show.

Another big focus on Arthur is disability. For once, they don’t stick a character in a wheelchair and then pretend he’s not in a wheelchair. A striking number of major characters either develop or get diagnosed with physical disabilities and/or neurodivergences, such as asthma, severe food allergies, and dyslexia, and they deal with them in very realistic ways.

A handful of minor characters have more obvious disabilities, and THANK GOD they go beyond the trite messaging of “disabled people can do everything abled people can do! everyone clap now!”

One episode in particular has the awesome message of “holy shit stop trying to help me all the time— it’s patronizing as fuck. I can get around just fine without you stepping on eggshells and trying to be the hero all the fucking time”

There are sooo many other shows I could talk about, but I can’t write about them all. I’m definitely gonna point out some more standout ones, though.

Sagwa, the Chinese Siamese Cat

Created by Chinese-American woman Amy Tang

Dragonfly TV

Features a multitude of female and non-white scientists to foster an interest in science with kids in those groups

Maya & Miguel

One of the network’s first Hispanic-led shows

SciGirls

I shouldn’t have to explain what the goal of this one was.

Molly of Denali

When was the last time you saw a show that treated Native Americans as people? Much less a children’s show? 90% of the cast is Athabascan, and the show revolves around Athabascan culture, not shying away from topics like boarding schools and modern-day racism. Most of the writers are also Athabascan, and the show even has an official Gwich’in dub!

It’s this commitment to real, authentic social justice that makes PBS Kids so much different from its competitors. Could you imagine the Paw Patrol dog looking at the camera and earnestly discussing what happened to George Floyd? I don’t think so— but Arthur talked specifically about it, Sesame Street did an hour long special about race in general, and the network itself made a 30 minute special.

Disney Jr. could never. (Other than trying to teach colorblindness, of course.)

I’m gonna have to cut this into two parts, since I just hit the image limit

[moon-rivr]

Every day I wake up and want Miguel O’Hara, a man who can cherish me with all my heart but also fuck my brains and yk what so hard to the point it’s mush /j

That aside, I’d looove to see jealous Miggy railing the shit out of Y/N all bc an old classmate from high school/uni was all being handsy and Miguel didn’t like that bc he didn’t get the hint 😏

celoso

pairing: miguel o’hara x fem reader

contents: situationship, jealousy, mentions of verbal abuse, reader gets pinned against wall, semi-public sex, oral (m receiving), fingering, biting, marking, unprotected p in v (be safe 🤨🤨), doggy, brief choking, spanking

a/n: so i was thinking of making this into a relationship fic buttt my hand slipped (whoops)

word count: 4.3K

"Wey, you're gonna end up breaking that cup."

Miguel looked down at the glass of champagne he was holding, his knuckles starting to turn white from how forcefully he was holding it. He couldn't help it though, especially with the way Flash wrapped his hand around your waist while he made you laugh. "Not like they don't have more cups," he responded, looking back over to his brother who had a knowing smile on his face. "I don't get it, you both like each other so why not pursue something?" Gabriel asked him, the same question that had been tormenting Miguel these last couple weeks.

The only reason that Miguel had even agreed to come back to the reunion was because of the way that you looked at him, clearly excited to see how everyone's life had been going so far. He didn't care that much about the people that used him for test answers but he wouldn't miss the opportunity to spend some time with you. "We wouldn't be seen together but as long as the two of us know we're there together then who really cares?" You had told him, his plans wrecked by the bomb you'd dropped. He ended up going to the event regardless because no matter how hard he tried, he could never find it in him to deny you anything.

Flashing disco lights mixed with the loud music was supposed to provide an ambiance full of enjoyment but it did nothing more than just torment Miguel. He hated the fact that his eyes seemed to find you in every room you were in without putting in much effort like a siren capturing its prey. All the event did was remind him that he no right to be feeling possessive over you, that he had no authority to be feeling jealous at some other man having his hands all over you.

He knew that you didn't want to pursue a relationship, but he couldn't help the feelings that he'd developed towards you. So in attempt just to have you present in his life, he'd agreed to keep this no-strings fling with you. The lines kept blurring every so often though, with the two of you going on dates and being each other's confidant. He was moderately happy with the arrangement that the two of you shared, but seeing you getting so comfortable with another man made him wish that he had the balls to ask you for something more.

"We're both fine with the no-strings thing we have going on," Miguel told him, loosening his grip on the cup before taking a sip. Gabriel raised a brow as he reached over to grab a champagne glass from the table. "Ya estas muy viejo para andar con estas mamadas," Gabriel retorted, standing next to him as he patted him on the shoulder. (you’re too old to be doing this shit) "Ni tan viejo, solo 27," he grumbled, his brows furrowing even further as he saw you place your hand on Flash's shoulder. (not that old, just 27) "There's people here who are already married," Gabriel offered, letting out a laugh as Miguel’s scowl deepened further.

You were talking with some friends in the middle of the gymnasium floor, trying to avoid eye contact with Miguel as your friends tried to recognize the people around them. "Wow, he's so tall and hot," Sasha, your friend, pointed out and you didn't even have to turn around to know she was referring to Miguel. "Isn't that the guy who used to wear those stupid glasses? I think his name was Manuel or something," your other friend, Jenna, remarked once she stopped kissing her boyfriend long enough to see who you were all talking about. You bit on the inside of your cheek to avoid correcting her, not wanting to drag any suspicion to yourself.

You listened to your friends talking as they excluded you from the conversation, wondering why you even put up with them back in uni. You excused yourself though you weren't sure if anyone really cared about your absence and headed to the bathroom. You were about to enter when you suddenly felt a strong grip on your arm, turning around to be faced with Flash. "Why'd you leave so early, pretty girl?" He asked you, his mouth reeking from the vodka he'd been drinking all night. "I just need to fix my makeup," you responded, trying to get him to loosen his grip but he pushed you against the wall.

"I've been thinking.. we were really good during university so what do you say if we rekindle that flame?" He asked, clearly oblivious to the fear sparking up in your eyes. "Dude, get off me. you're hurting my arm," you tried to plead with him but the grip around you only intensified. He leaned into kiss you, your knee hitting him in the groin once he got close to you. "STUPID WHORE!" He screamed after you ran away from him. You weren't too focused on where you were going, just making the effort to get away from him as much as possible.

You didn't realize you'd bumped into someone, your eyes flickering up to meet Miguel’s red ones. "What's wrong?" He questioned, his gaze softening a bit as he looked down at you. "Oh thank goodness I found you," you mumbled, just burying your head in his chest without caring who was around. His hand came to hold yours, only stopping when he felt you flinch underneath. "Who did this to you?" you could tell that he was trying to remain calm as he asked that question, some venom still managing to seep through. "Flash Thompson," you responded, holding his arm before he had the chance to storm off.

"Can you just stay with me, please?" You asked him, tears brimming on your waterline. He let out a small sigh, almost like he was conflicted but he nodded and went with you to the football field. The two of you sat on the stands, sounds of cicadas around filling up the silence. You leaned against Miguel’s shoulder, finding comfort in just being around him despite the rough facade that he'd built for himself. His arm wrapped around your shoulder, seemingly wanting to keep you away from any further danger that would come.

"It's so stupid, I actually thought that he was an okay partner during our time in university. Like sure, he was verbally abusive towards me but he was nice during these short periods of time," you spoke out, feeling Miguel’s eyes bore into you as you did. "Is that why you're so avoidant on being in a relationship?" He asked you, his hand tracing small circles on your shoulder. You took a couple seconds to think about his question, wondering if Flash had really had that much of an effect on you and your future relationships. "It's part of the reason why, I think seeing everyone around me in unhealthy relationships kind of set in stone for me."

"I don't think it's wrong what you're doing, but are you sure you're not closing off opportunities just because of that fear?" He inquired, his hand coming down to your waist as he held you close to him. The truth was that you did allow yourself to wonder about the 'what-ifs' but they always ended up in the worst result. "I just don't see the whole point of putting myself through the pain of being in a relationship, y'know? Plus, you're pretty good company," you responded, flashing a small smile towards him.

Miguel didn't say anything, but he didn't need to in that moment. All you were looking for was for someone to hold you, to make you feel like you were okay again. You got up when you heard your phone buzzing, a message from your friend asking to come back to the party. "I'll come meet you later tonight," you told Miguel before you left, leaning over to press your lips against his cheek. You couldn't help but feel butterflies in your stomach as you saw your lipstick mark on him, practically marking him as yours. "Don't think I forgot about all those little touches by the way!" He yelled after you, a small chuckle escaping from his lips while he waited for you to leave.

You walked back into the party, seeing your friends still standing in their spot without Flash. You grabbed yourself a drink from a table nearby, listening in to the conversation happening around you. You let out the small occasional 'hm' and 'mhm' in response to their conversation, not willing yourself to feign more interest than that. If your friends had noticed something off, they hadn't bothered to mention it. Your eyes glanced over to Gabriel, seeing that Miguel still hadn't come back from the field. You found yourself growing a bit worried for him, taking a sip from your soda to try to calm down.

Miguel saw Flash as he walking back from the football field, unable to hold himself back the longer he looked at him. As Miguel approached him, he could tell that his frame clearly overpowered his, but Flash still tried to pretend like he was the one in power of this situation. "What the hell do you want, nerd?" Flash asked him, speaking to him like he didn't matter much more than the dirt below his feet. "What I want is for you not to put a hand on her again," Miguel spoke calmly, despite the storm that was brewing up inside him. "And if I don't?"

The whole thing had happened in a blur, one minute Flash was laughing in face and calling him a nerd and the other he was on the floor screaming for help. Miguel had to mentally restrain himself as he punched him, his fist leaving Flash with a crooked and bloody nose. "That's what happens if you don't," Miguel responded, wiping away the blood on his handkerchief before walking away. He stepped away into the restroom, his hand throbbing as he washed away the blood flash leaked onto his hand. Your concern for Miguel was quickly replaced with shock when Flash came into the gymnasium, blood spilling onto the white shirt he had on.

You’d almost missed Miguel walking in behind him as he tried his best to blend into the shadows while he walked back to Gabriel. Your attention was brought back to the group when they let out a collective gasp once they noticed Flash walking over. "What the hell happened to you?" Sasha asked him, a tone of amusement in her voice as she spoke. "Bumped into a door," he responded, grabbing some ice from the bowl nearby and placing them into a napkin. You noticed he kept his distance from you this time, giving you only the occasional dirty look.

Gabriel looked up from his phone to look up at Miguel, taking a look at his throbbing hand. "Don't ask," Miguel grumbled, placing an ice cold soda against his knuckles. "Wasn't going to. How's the other guy doing?" Gabriel asked before he looked over where Miguel was staring, noticing Flash's bloody nose. He let out a small hiss as a response, clapping Miguel’s shoulder. "Well at least he looks worse than you. I was gonna text you after you abandoned me, met some girl that wanted to dance with me," Gabriel spoke before leaving Miguel alone in the shadows.

You watched as Jenna danced with gabriel, despite the fact that her boyfriend had only just left the event. The group decided to join her on the dance floor and so you did the same, dancing to the rhythm of the song that was playing. Your eyes met Miguel’s as you danced, your hips moving sensually to the rhythm of the song. You could feel other people staring at you and the way that you moved, but your eyes couldn't leave Miguel’s no matter how hard you willed yourself to try. His stone cold facade broke down when he clenched his fists by his sides, a clear sign that you were affecting him.

You looked at him as he pulled his phone out, his thumbs rushing across the keyboard as he tried to write the words out to the best of his ability. You felt a buzz in your purse, seeing a text message from Miguel to meet him in the restroom. You placed your phone back in your purse, taking a small gulp as you walked into the restroom after him. "Second stall," he spoke up once he heard the door close, your heels clicking across the bathroom floor while you walked to him. "What if that'd been someone else?" You teased him as you walked into the stall, closing it immediately to avoid getting caught.

The words soon enough died in your throat as Miguel unbuttoned his pants, his cock hard under his boxers. "You see what you do to me, beautiful? Couldn't stand all those others staring at what's mine," he told you, bringing your face up to his as he kissed you. The kiss was rough, like he was just desperate to get a taste of you. His mouth travelled down to your throat, leaving a small mark on the side of your neck. "You're all mine," he whispered, his touch featherlight as he kissed your neck. You got down on your knees, palming his cock through the boxers.

You slid them off, his cock hitting his stomach once it was released from its confines. You wrapped one of your hands around it, starting to stroke him as your mouth went towards his thighs. You left small kisses on his thigh, making your way up to his cock. You placed a small kiss on the tip of his cock, your lipstick leaving a mark as you did. You opened up your mouth, swirling your tongue around the reddened head with your eyes locked straight on his. His hand came back to the back of your head, holding you in place as you got started.

You took more of his cock in your mouth, never growing quite adjusted to the size of him. Your cheeks hollowed as you made your way down his shaft, your tongue running down the underside of his cock. His hips bucked forward, your gags filling up the empty bathroom. "So pretty, all stuffed with cock like that," he murmured, your eyes watering slightly as you tried to control the tears streaming down from your cheeks. Your hand wrapped around the base, pumping what your mouth couldn't reach and the other one went to play with his balls. You held his heavy balls in your hand, tugging them slightly and massaging them in your grasp.

"Oh fuuuck, just like that," he moaned quietly, soft groans erupting from his chest as you continued to suck on his cock. You pulled away, spitting on the tip while the liquid travelled downward. Your grip on the base tightened as you moved your hand up and down his cock, looking up at him in anticipation. You brought your mouth back to his cock, your lipstick smeared across and your mascara dripping down your cheeks. "Tan hermosa que eres," he groaned as he felt your tongue running along the underside of his tip, the sight of him looking so disheveled making your panties wetter by the second. (you’re so beautiful)

You felt your pussy clench around nothing as you sucked him off, your panties damp from how much you were affected by this. You felt his legs shaking underneath you, his groans becoming louder as he approached his orgasm. "Where do you want it?" He asked, his voice cracking a bit from the sensation he was feeling. You opened up your mouth, sticking your tongue out as your hand pumped him at the same rate you were going beforehand. "Just like that, don't stop," he told you, biting into his hand as he approached his orgasm. White ropes of cum filled up your mouth, some of it landing on your cheeks and chin.

"I look horrible," you noticed as you looked at yourself in the mirror, your lipstick barely clinging on. "Well I think you look pretty," Miguel responded, wrapping his arms around your waist as he peppered your neck with more kisses. You wiped away at the mascara dripping down from your cheeks, deciding to give up on that aspect and just fix up your lipstick. You couldn't help but let out a chuckle as you saw the mark on miguel's lips, handing him a piece of tissue paper to clean up.

Once the two of you had fixed up the slightest bit, you left at separate times. You waited for Miguel to text you the okay before leaving the bathroom, walking back over to your friends. "What's up with you? You keep disappearing," Jenna pointed out once you came back, the darkness of the gym hiding away the hickey blooming on the side of your neck. So much for them not noticing your absence.

"Just drank a little too much soda," you responded, keeping your voice even so they wouldn't notice your little fib. You looked around, noticing that Gabriel was standing off to the side once more. "What happened to dancing with him?" You decided to change the subject, receiving a small shrug in response. "I don't know, he's too sweet? His brother, though, definitely looks like he's a freak in the sheets," she pointed out and you couldn't help but feel a bit of possessiveness over Miguel. You decided to ignore her little comment, letting her go back to talking with the rest of the group.

Miguel walked back over to Gabriel, finding him sulking alone in the shadows. "It's funny, almost every girl I've been with chooses you for some reason despite the fact that you're an asshole," Gabriel spoke up, Miguel’s chest tightening up a bit as he spoke. He'd never meant to make his brother feel inferior, never meant to make him feel like he was something less. "The girl you were dancing with had a boyfriend so I wouldn't wallow too much over that," Miguel responded, approaching Gabriel slowly. "Yeah, you're probably right," he responded with a small sigh, still feeling down.

Soon enough, another woman had approached Gabriel and asked him for a coffee, without offering Miguel as much as a second glance. Miguel looked down at his phone, checking the time on his phone before walking out of the gym. You came out right after he did, stepping side by side with him. "How's your brother doing? Jenna’s kind of.. a lot so I’m sorry," you spoke up first, looking up at Miguel. "He's alright, he found someone else to get over it. How do you feel about getting back to my place?"

On the drive back home, you couldn't help but feel aroused at the sight of him behind the wheel. He just drove so eloquently, his muscles flexing in the thin button down he had on with every movement that he made. You spread your legs, noticing Miguel looking at you through the corner of his eye. You tentatively played with your folds through the thin material of your panties, looking over at Miguel as he struggled to maintain his composure. "It's like you want me to crash, little minx," he muttered, looking straight at the road. You took off your panties slowly, bringing your fingers up to Miguel’s mouth.

He wrapped his mouth around them as he kept his attention on the road, covering them in his spit. You brought them back into your weeping hole, sticking them in. You started off slow, your slick combining with his spit each time you pushed them inside. Miguel’s hand around the steering wheel tightened, letting out a grunt as he heard the squelch from your pussy. You began rocking your pelvis against your hand, riding your two fingers as soft moans escaped from your lips. Miguel brought his other hand towards your clit, rubbing the nub as he continued to drive across the empty streets.

Just as you were about to cum, Miguel pulled his hand away despite your protests. "You'll only be coming around my cock, understand?" He told you, the car coming to a stop. You looked around, noticing that the two of you had arrived to his penthouse. You felt your pussy clench up at his promise, your shaky feet barely taking you out of his car. Without a word, miguel picked you up with ease and locked up the car before taking you inside.

The two of you had barely gotten through the door when Miguel started kissing you, his mouth engulfing around yours like he was afraid you'd go away. "We should go to the bedroom, yeah?" You suggested to him in between kisses, his hand grabbing yours as he led you up the stairs. The minute the two of you had made it back to the bedroom, his lips were back on yours as his tongue explored every inch of your mouth like it was the first time doing so.

He wasted no time in zipping down your dress and taking off his clothes, a pile quickly building up underneath the two of you. "Get down on your hands and knees," he told you, your body obliging almost immediately. His hand rubbed the globe of your ass cheek, a sharp smack taking all the breath from your lungs. "I want you to count for the amount of times he had his hands on you," he spoke, his hand gently soothing the sting from the previous slap. "Okay!" You exclaimed, letting out a moan as his hand came down to smack your ass once more. "One!"

The process continued for four more times, Miguel’s hands gripping your hips as he pushed his cock inside of you. "You only belong to me, I don't care if it's official to you or not, it is to me," he spoke, a small grunt escaping from his lips as he felt your pussy clench around him. No matter how many times he'd fucked you, the process was still a stretch every time. You gripped onto the pillow below you tightly, his cock moving inside of you slightly as he tried to fit in.

He retracted his cock, slamming into you in sharp thrust. "All mine, understand?" He told you, leaning in slightly as his chest hit your back. "All yours!" You responded, the words not feeling like something you were just saying in the moment. The grip around your waist tightened, his cock retracting out of your pussy much faster this time. Drool rolled down to your chin as he sped up, his thrusts almost punishing you for letting another man touch you. Your back arched, stomach against the bed as he rocked you back and forth.

He brought you back up, your back plush against his chest while his hips snapped into yours. You held onto the headboard, the wooden frame hitting the wall with every thrust that he took. One of his hands held your waist as he fucked you to his will, the other wrapping around your throat. He provided enough pressure to make your vision blur at the edges but not enough to the point where you were suffocating. The blood rushed up to your head with every thrust that he took, your mouth parted in a 'o' shape as you moaned out babbles of what seemed to be his name.

He tilted your head back to his directions, leaning in as he kissed you with such intensity that it made you dizzy. You weren't too sure if it was from him or the momentary oxygen loss, but you couldn't get enough of how well he was fucking you. You went back to being on your hands and knees, almost feeling his cock in your throat from this angle. One of his fingers circled the rim of your ass, never willing to do that without your proper consent but he liked to toy with the idea every so often. That hand went down to your clit, rubbing your clit and flicking the nub to the rhythm of his thrusts.

A new wave of your slick coated his cock, some of it rolling down to the covers beneath the two of you. Your mind was erased from every thought that didn't include coming around Miguel’s cock. Your walls clamped around him once more, a moan erupting from your throat while your release coated his cock. He continued with the same pace, fucking you through the orgasm as he sought out for his own release. His thrusts stuttered slightly, becoming off-pace as he reached the brink of his own orgasm.

His head came down to your shoulder, biting down on it as white ropes of cum coated your walls. His fangs gently grazed against your shoulder blade when he removed his mouth, waiting for his cock to soften up so he could remove it. He slid out in one swift motion, getting a rag from the bed stand. he cleaned in between your thighs, his touch light as he did. "Can you stand up for a minute? I'm not letting you sleep on those sheets," he asked you, helping you get up from the bed.

After he'd changed the sheets, you couldn't help but look up at him curiously. "Was that talk about me being yours just something out of the heat of the moment or..?" You asked, trailing off since you didn't want to make wrongful assumptions. "No, it wasn't. I only agreed to this stupid fling because I just wanted to be with you. I'm sorry if I'm acting rash or anything, we can go back to normal," he responded, willing to put aside his feelings for you just so he'd have these moments. "I don't want things to go back to normal, I want to be with you."

#moon-rivr #miguel o’hara #miguel o’hara smut #smut #atsv miguel #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara x y/n #miguel x y/n #miguel x you #spiderman 2099 #miguel spiderman #miguel spiderverse #spiderman atsv #miguel x reader #miguel fic #miguel o’hara x you #miguel o’hara spiderman 2099 #miguel o’hara across the spider verse #miguel o’hara fanfiction #miguel o’hara imagine #miguel o’hara fic #miguel ohara #miguel 2099 #miguel smut #miguel ohara spiderman #spiderman smut #spiderman #spiderman 2099 smut #across the spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse

[anni1309-blog]

please more step brother smut with felix. it was amazing !:)

that’s so kind of you to say, thank you <3

here you go 🎀

felix catton! stepbrother x reader

warnings: smut, face-fucking, slight size kink, semi public

summary : felix is stressed out during exam season and needs relief

felix and you were like royalty at oxford. it’s not like felix’s family lineage isn’t royal anyways. they were always surrounded by a small crowd. some might even call them admirers. it wasn’t hard to love them, always kind and friendly, charming everyone with their beautiful looks.

when someone was looking for felix, you weren’t far either. this was felix’s way to protect and show his love for you. you two weren’t siblings by blood, but that didn’t stop felix from taking care of his baby sister.

sometimes gossip was heard about your close proximity to felix. you would admit that your relationship is definitely closer than most normal stepsiblings might be but your love fell so deep for each other you wouldn’t have it any other way.

lately though, felix grew a little more distant. you knew that the exams were getting to him, he was always so determined. you would only see him when at night he would sneak you into his dorm, pulling a blanket over you while holding you close and softly stroking your hair while you would cling onto him placing your head on his chest. you missed him, more than you would admit. his heart broke knowing he had less time for you, he yearned for your touch, your giggle and your adorable smile when you sat in his lap during break. but he couldn’t have any distractions from studying.

when you woke up the bed was empty. this was your breaking point. felix would normally wake you up to give you a little kiss goodbye or at least leave a note. there was none of this today. you bursted out in tears and started sobbing uncontrollably. when you calmed down a bit, you got ready to face felix to pour out your heart. putting on makeup was no use to your red and puffy eyes from crying.

you made your way to the library, which was almost empty since it was still very early in the morning. you found felix sitting in the back, surrounded by books writing down notes.

he looked up “good morning baby, did you have a good-“ he stopped, his initial reaction was that he was happy to see you but his eyebrows furrowed when he saw your distressed expression. he knew he had to make time for you now, so he wordlessly scooted his chair back and opened his arms for you to sit on his lap. you took a seat there and clung to him tightly, which he returned.

“lix, you were gone this morning, and I was all alone, I don’t even see you that often anymore, I- I just miss you so much” you sniff slightly as big tears fall from your eyes.

“shhhh, I know sweetheart, I hate it too, but you know how it is, I’m just very stressed right now” he pulls you close rubbing you back softly cooing quietly for you to calm down a bit, takes your face in his hands as he wipes away your tears with his thumb. he hates seeing his girl like this, it upset him deeply.

felix took your chin between his fingers to tilt you head upwards to slowly capture your lips. this wasn’t new to you two, he kissed you often, also in public, he knew it made you feel safe.

“lix? would it be okay for me to try something to relieve your stress a bit?” your big eyes looked up at him with a small smile as you relaxed a bit.

“sure princess, I’d love that but what do you want t-“ his words got stuck in his throat when you slowly dropped to your knees, already trying to fumble at his belt, opening it.

felix was almost shocked at your plan but obviously wasn’t appalled by your idea. none of you cared that you were in public, people wouldn’t come by until later in the day. your nimble fingers pulled the zipper of his pants down slowly, your lips parting and mouth salivating in anticipation.

he caressed your cheek with his thumb looking down at you with soft but hungry eyes, signaling that you could do whatever you felt comfortable with. as you continue undressing his pants his fingers were back at your face, his thumb brushing over your wet bottom lip and pushed his digit past your lips and into your mouth, and you sucked greedily.

you slowly pulled his already hardening cock from his underwear, giving his tip soft kitten licks to which he threw back his head in pleasure, brushing your hair, slightly buckling his hips towards your mouth

“you can use my mouth lix, I can handle it, I promise” lapping at his slit and batting your eyelashes up at him innocently.

“you’re gonna be the death of me, doll” he groans at your invitation and didn't waste a second to shove his cock into your mouth, pushing your head down his impressive length.

gurgling and gagging you looked up at him for reassurance that your were doing fine, he slowly started moving his hips, fucking your mouth.

“such a good doll, doing so good f’me” he praised in a deep voice. your doe eyes just looked at him, tears escaping them as he kept diving himself into you thrusting in and out of your mouth quickly and desperately as you moaned around him.

he shifted his hips forward so you could take him further down your throat “such a tiny mouth, taking all of me hm?” he grinned proudly his other hand cupping your jaw and holding your mouth open for him as you choked around him, saliva escaping your mouth.

“you can take it, hm? my good little angel” he grunts looking down at your face tears just streaming down your face now. you hummed happily, the vibrations sending a shock through him that made him twitch and ram his hips forward into your mouth harshly.

“gonna come in your mouth okay doll? you’re gonna be a good girl and swallow it all right?” taking out his dick for you to answer and traced your glossy lips with his tip, your tongue darted out to flick over it and relish in his salty taste as you looked up giving him affirmative nods.

his thrusts became more frantic, feeling close, he lets out a long, gutteral moan, holding your head there as he thrust his hips up feeling your nose press against his pelvis, cumming down your throat.

“I know it’s a lot, be strong,” he groaned as he continued to spout cum, it was so much you thought you might bloat but swallowed all as he pulled off, you were coughing at bit.

you looked wrecked but smiled up at him proudly as he leaned down to kiss your lips softly taking your face in his big hands to admire you.

“what would I do without my favorite girl?”

#felix catton imagine #felix catton x you #felix catton x reader #felix catton smut #felix catton saltburn #felix catton x y/n #felix catton fanfic #felix catton #saltburn fanfiction #saltburn #jacob elordi smut #jacob elordi x reader