#life gets in the way ik

[bluebellhairpin]

Not gonna lie to y'all, I do still think of that one collab and how I didn't get my piece back from it, and it does make me a bit sad.

#life gets in the way ik #i refused to spoil it for myself and ig it was a good thing bc now i dont know what i missed out on lol #im glad others got all theirs though #thats a positive for sure #im also hoping this is vague posting enough #bc i do NOT want the person to see this and feel bad #like i dont hold that up agaisnt them at all #bc yeah im disapointed but i cant say ive never been in the same situation as them before #itll be a one time thing so its nothing to fuss over

[vamptits]

reminder that this first photo is edited, and the second is what gerard actually looks like.

#TIREDDDD of seeing airbrushed-within-an-inch-of-his-life gerard everywhere #ik this post gets made once a month but. please. #mcr #my chemical romance #gerard way

[pup-pee]

he wouldve saved every1 on titanic

#YEAH IM POSTING THIS ON MAIN IDK #GET OUT OF MY DRAFTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #no its not staying in there #yall ever just think about paw patrol? ok cause me 2 #dude childhood show kinda? idk i used 2 watch it but like in the way i felt ashamed bc i was 2 old #now i just dont care #guys its dogs they r dogs i lvoe dogs i lvoe silly #sometimes u need those shows in ur life lol #do i tag..........i kinda dont wanna fill up the tags #zuma #yeah :3 #thats it #mayb a lil a lil personal tag #mayb a lil #pp #yk yk??? ITS SILLY #IT #GUYS UNDERSTAND MY GENIUS BC PP STANTS 4 BOTH THE SHOW NAME & IS LIKE MY NAME?!?!?! #insane ik ik im so oooo smart #i need 2 shut up #im rambling bc im still shaky wtf #asolikhfhhhhfds

[devilbrakers]

everlong - foo fighters // mary oliver, "blue iris." devotions // simone de beauvoir // alive - pearl jam // david mitchell, slade house // and i love her - kurt cobain // churchrummagesale // today - the smashing pumpkins // kvetchkween // audrey emmett // the memory of a memory, katie maria // black - pearl jam // claire c. holland, from i am not your final girl: poems; “sally” // kaveh akbar, "my father's accent" from pilgrim bell // wild geese by mary oliver // times like these - foo fighters

musings on my sole survivor, akira sato

#when you are so full of love and rage but you feel like you have to suppress the rage to remain a good and kind person even tho the world #ended and your whole life went to pure shit :D #i could go on about his whole mental state in the wasteland. it was never great pre-bomb drop but it's a mess post apocalypse 😭 #ik grief is usually common theme in these but. that says nothing abt me btw #an knee way... #web weaving #my ocs #akira #also on the still hers quote that line is highlighted in el's color. or as close as i could get in google docs

[aq2003]

the background piano music ends abruptly on a discordant note when hamlet says his father had died in the past two hours, which is when the idea gets put forward that his own perception of time/events might not be totally reliable

#btw mariah gale's portrayal of ophelia in this scene is CRAZY good i'm so.. hhhhhghgwgm #ik a couple of more modern productions try to portray ophelia w more agency and force behind what she does #which is good! but mariah gale's portrayal is my favorite in terms of what was originally intended for the character #ie how devastated she is at seeing someone she loves spiral further and further downwards #the uncomfortable smiles she has in this scene specifically cuz on one hand. Hamlet why are you saying these things. die #on the other hand she can see that he's in better spirits overall and isn't that better than how he was earlier? (it's not) #how she is driven mad bc everybody in her life either dies or leaves her and nobody can acknowledge that injustice #i get the impression that this ophelia wasn't allowed to show her anger and her frustration towards everyone around her #she was raised to act in a certain specific way to make her father (and her brother) look good. without a regard for her personhood #so it makes sense that if hamlet was so sweet w her pre-his-father's-death and that he changed so drastically in front of her #that it kind of basically brings her down with him too #hamlet

[bird-everyday]

ik im late again sorry! i had two assignments due today... 🥲 when school is actually hard ugh

#not birds #sorry sorry #chirps.txt #apologies really #but i am after all a grad student #life does get in the way occasionally.. #ik i should go to bed instead of writing this but! #here we are

[trans-axolotl]

I'm a psych survivor & want to find community in general or join conversations on here but it seems like no one really cares what I have to say & a lot of the conversations on here about mad liberation etc. are so academic that I feel alienated & shut out by them, and afraid of being talked down to & made fun of, even though I was (barely) able to master's degree and thought I was fairly intelligent. it seems like the academics mainly want to talk amongst themselves. idk. it's like the more I try to connect the worse I feel. I guess you probably don't have an answer to this but I appreciate your blog & how accessible your writing is

💜💜💜anon i think you have SUCH an important point. for me, the most meaningful mad community that i've found has always been when I've been institutionalized and just talking with other mad people, where most of them don't have any experience with mad liberation politics or antipsychiatry or any of that vocabulary. But like--time and time again those are the people who just get it the most, and are some of the most insightful people I've met. And I know that if some of my psych survivor friends came on tumblr, I think they would be judged for not having the "right" language or not communicating clearly enough or whatever. Which makes me so fucking mad, especially considering how many of us are disabled in ways that impact our communication, processing, and language. and how to me, it feels like such an important value of mad liberation to celebrate different styles of communication and all the different ways we're going to show up and exist as mad people! I'm sorry that you haven't been able to find a lot of welcoming community on tumblr--I know how exhausting and isolating it feels to not be able to connect with the people that are Supposed to actually understand and support you.

and it's not that I hate academic stuff about madness--I'm currently at university studying disability studies and really appreciate disability scholars. I think it's super fucking important + there's a lot of really talented people doing cool work. But I think that especially in disability studies, there needs to be a LOT more of an effort put in to actually make research + writing accessible. If half our community can't access any of the writing about our community, that's fucked up, you know? I'm always getting into arguments at university lmao when I talk about how we should do more to translate academic work into plain language. especially since i think it's a form of injustice when we are kept away from resources and knowledge that would let us build a political understanding of our experiences. it just feels super important to me to think about accessibility and what that means in mad spaces and psych survivor spaces, and who feels welcome to participate in our spaces and who feels left out of them.

and i also don't really have answers or solutions for How to Make That Happen on Tumblr--if you or any followers have any suggestions i would def love to hear them. i know that a lot of people are going to come on tumblr to do a lot of different things and that some people see this mostly as an academic space for them, where some people just come on here to talk or create art or a million different things.

For me, I use tumblr as a space where I want to talk and connect with a lot of people about all kinds of topics and hear psych survivors opinions on a ton of stuff. a lot of my posts are pretty casual, but when i make longer educational and political posts i spend a lot of time thinking about the best ways to translate really academic concepts to a wider audience. when i sit down to write out a long post i try to incorporate as many accessibility features as possible like using bullet points, putting in summaries/ Tl;DR sections at ends of posts, adding in real life examples when I'm defining complicated technical concepts, adding content notes, and more. Before I post, I read through my posts and highlight every time I use a more academic or technical term. Then, I think through whether that vocab is necessary for people to understand the post, or if there's better language I could replace it with. A lot of times I do end up keeping in some technical terms in my posts because it is honestly the most direct way to explain some of the stuff I want to talk about, but it's been super valuable for me to go through and really think about it, even when some terms stay in my writing. that's just my process and what works for me and I really don't think that other people need to write the same way I do lmao, but if anyone ever wants to talk about writing in plain language & easy read PLEASE come into my inbox bc i love talking about this and want to chat about it with more people.

other things i'll say is that i've found that virtual/in person psych survivor/antipsych support groups are often times a lot more welcoming and accessible and are just like, people talking about things and hanging out together. I've heard really good things about Wildflower Alliance's support groups, and also recommend the Hearing Voices Network. Project LETS has been running an exceptional psychiatric survivor support group for almost a year that is more casual and is a really great community, I'm hoping that they're going to open up availability again in the spring so that might also be worth checking out in the next couple months. Campaign for Psych Abolition in the UK runs a mad art space that seems super fun. i wish there were a lot more existing groups cause it sucks how few things there are tbh.

anyway, know that you + anyone else are always welcome to chat in my inbox or on any of my posts and you will not face any judgement from me. i genuinely love talking to other psych survivors so much and want to hear what people have to say. the only people i get annoyed at on my posts are psych students and other mental health professionals who leave really bullshit stuff on there lmfao.

sending you all the solidarity, anon <3

#asks #psych survivor #surviving psych #psych abolition #mad liberation #accessibility #sorry for going on a tangent about plain language in the middle adsfjkhjkfsh i just like. am very passionate about plain language writing #and tumblr is one of the main places in my day to day life where i practice writing in plain language #i am not perfect at it but i really enjoy doing it and keep wanting to get better at it #also want to get better about writing in easy read. i'm not very good at that at all yet #ik that wasn't like directly related to your question tho so sorry!! i started getting excited about plain language #and then was like no okay i should just go post about plain language on a diff post that isn't ur ask askfdjhfjdkah #ANYWAY. sending all the love u way anon

[goozeghost]

To celebrate 10 years in this god forsaken fandom, I redrew the og art of my fave paranormal investigators !

Singles and small rant below cut :P

Cannot believe it’s been a damn decade. This fandom and these characters have done so much to shape me and help me turn into the person- and artist!!- I am today, and I am forever grateful for the friends I’ve made along the way. (You know who you are 😉)

I cannot believe young Gooze looked at Johnny Ghost and said Yeah, that’s my entire personality now, and then it WAS. Now I’m an inducted thespian with a love for dramatizing everything, and for doing stupid voices, and a buncha other stuff. I even took his name, Johnny/Ghost. Which I suppose a lot of us have, huh?

Anyway if you’re looking down here, hi, here’s the first ever piece of fanart young Gooze did (that I can find)

(Yes, that’s Ghost and Jimmy. And yeah it’s bad, but I was a very young child. Let’s appreciate how far I’ve come, yeah?)

#taleblr #johnny ghost #johnny toast #venturiantale #jesus christ i cannot believe its been 10 years #the impact this shit has had on me… lord… #i will never forgive Them for turning out the way they did #but i can continue to love these characters and the Things they gave me #my love for theatre and drama and improv and doing voices. my love for the paranormal. my entire sense of humour. #johnny ghost literally came to my house and transed my gender and forced me to be hella annoying the rest of my life #also fun fact Johnny Toast was my first ever fictional crush ! and now i call scratch (his model) my wife. so. #thats just funny to me. JHGHGHDFS #i realized the other day it has in fact been 10 years. since 2014. i remember young me sitting in class doodling the vt logo frm memory #shit blows me away. young me had no idea what i was getting into #watching that shitty lil gmod rp channel. had no idea the person it would turn me into. #taleblr fandom i love you. i give yall big smooches. yall are amazing and i thank yall for indulging my silly art #ik. i havent been posting art long. but yknow. still.

[eijiroukiriot]

it's been a sec since i've done a translation! but i think this comic is really sweet so translation under the cut!! the title on the comic is "kiribaku and tododeku who aren't public about their relationship (having mild heart attacks)", and the caption on the tweet is "i wanna read 10000 stories about people finding out about kiribaku and tododeku's relationships"

Hero Radio OFFTiME! On our program, you can hear top heroes spill a little bit about their private lives. Today's hosts are Deku and Red Riot! What kinds of things will they talk about? Let's see!

Midoriya: Man, you must be tired! You came here straight after a night shift, right? Are you feeling alright?

Kirishima: All good! Besides, you've been working ten days in a row, right? Good on you!

(word bubbles - Very, Very Tired)

M: Alright then, our first letter of the night...this one comes to us from BlueMackerel-san, who asks, "How did you spend your last day off?"

K: Uhh...oh yeah! Hiked 'n camped! And ate a ton of campfire food!

M: Oh, with Kacchan?

K: Yep!

M: He sure does like hiking.

Flashback Kirishima: WHOOPIE!!

Flashback Bakugou: Just eat it

M: What'd you two eat?

K: The works! Spare ribs, and homemade sausage, and meat, and more meat! Bakugou always packs a ton of meat to barbecue, it's crazy good! What about you?

M: Mmm...I slept in until around noon...and I think that day, Todoroki's family invited me over for dinner. His sister is a great cook!

Flashback Fuyumi: Welcome, welcome!

K: Coooool. So we both ended up just spending the day with our boyfriends, huh-

M: UH- um-

K: Huh? OH-! Cut! Cut!! Can you guys pretend you didn't hear that last...

M: Ohhhh my goddddddd

Narration: Our next letter comes to us from DieYouScum-san, who writes, "I'm killing you when you get home"

#kiribaku #tododeku #translation #bnha #this is a short one that's mostly kirishima and deku talkin but i think it's very cute #i'm also still completely in shock that tumblr now lets you go back and fix typos in tags #good on ya tumblr stuff #this is just a super quick translation before bed and i played it kinda fast and loose w the expressions!! but i did my best to get the #meaning across!! #to talk abt mostly unrelated stuff yesterday on my way home from a long weekend i dropped by tokyo and to a huge anime resale store #they had soooo much bnha stuff but pointedly they had a whole separate building across the street for doujinshi #my local anime resale store lately has gotten so few bnha doujin that they stopped sorting them by ship so it's basically not worth looking #but this one had a ton of krbk all laid out and i was this close to not even going into the store but i came out w a little stack! #crazy to see so much krbk in person that i even had my /pick/ of safe fluffy stuff #anyway one of the ones i bought is abt them living together and the cover illustration is kirishima elbowing bkg in his sleep #i was gonna not just read more krbk before bed tonight but it looks so sweet and up my alley #ik i don't post much on here anymore and it's mostly bc adult life saps the paragraph-typing/thread-typing energy out of me #but those guys still have an apartment in my brain #hope you guys are doing well!!

[insinirate]

i didnt think knives would be Any good with human children but he managed to spend time in a human household for months and carlito seemed pretty cordial with him

#enough to follow him around and get excited and ask him questions #and ik it might be because he had to behave bc vashs life was on the line #but at least that means its possible! #this is my way of saying. knives could hang out at the orphanage and survive #trimax spoilers / #anonymous

[baeshijima]

it is now officially the 25th which means...

merry christmas everyone !!! regardless of whether u celebrate or not, i hope u all have a lovely day with whoever u spend it with or with urself <33

#sophie's idle chatter #this is scheduled so im HOPING it posts at 12 am.... prays.... #i havent been super active in the past month or two bc life is kicking my ass (<- has said this countless times already but its still true) #also !! i see asks and ill try and answer them when i actually have the time and energy 😭 ik i say this a lot but ive been drained good god #(not so) mini life updates : #the new lovebrush chronicles main story update has made me weep so much... ive done both clarence and ayns routes and.... #my god.... this story is darker and honestly im loving it AND i love how they did the chara roles in this world (alkaid... ourgh...) #my tear glands arent tho bc ayn ending 3.... what the fuck was that i couldnt sleep after doing that ending??? ITS WAS SO SAD AND FOR WHATF #currently having to wait until the 27th so i can do lars route 😔 #the recent ep of apothecary diaries.... ourgh my heart.... jinshi and maomao beloveds :(( #oh !! and ive gotten back into my ace of diamonds/daiya no ace phase and have been rewatching the series... #sobbing chris and yuki and miyuki my beloveds.... kissing ur foreheads and holding u gently..... #the way i got back into it bc im catching up on s2 of a clean sweep (a korean baseball variety show that i love with all my heart ;w;) #my mum is a traitor tho bc she watched every new ep that came out on tuesdays while i was in uni 🧍‍♀️ so now im catching up on the 30 eps #on my own 🧍‍♀️ #OMG AND ALSO DR STONE S3??? WHY WAS I NOT NOTIFIED THAT PART 1 CAME OUT MONTHS AGO AND PART 2 WAS MORE RECENT??? #i havent been doing that much writing recently tho bc the fingers wont type but the brain is exploding with ideas i cannot handle this #i do want to get back to the haitham sxf series tho.... and also my oc various x reader series....... #tbh ive been contemplating abt publishing the haitham series on ao3 once i write more chapters before publishing them #idk i feel like the series would be nice to have on ao3 as well as tumblr JHDG #thats abt it i think? #anywho if u read this far then know i am giving u a warm cookie as a condolence prize for getting through this life dump <33 #ill leave it off here but i hope u all have a lovely day !! mwah mwah merry chrysler everyone 🎄🫶 #queue... ueueue

[journey-to-the-attic]

oooooh it is so very late at night and I am having #thoughts #emotional #notclickbait

thinking about how in the grand scheme of things IK is like. inherently the bravest being in the devildom

Mind You it's not even to do with the massive amounts of trauma she's been through, it's solely because she is a human

Humans lives are like a second long compared to these centuries (eons even) old demons- she knows virtually nothing in the grand scheme of things compared to them

And yet despite her knowing nothing (and being aware that she knows nothing and could die at any second) she still walks forward with little hesitance, trusting and learning and growing which is the bravest thing you can really do as a human (imo)

Even just the fact that she lives knowing she could die at literally any moment makes her braver than like. half the cast. because while yes they have all been through their respective traumas, they still live for HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of years, and every like. 200 years or so they'll maybe once think 'man i've been alive a long time' and continue on with their day

IK, as a human, looks around at just. the place she's in. and registers that virtually anything there could kill her and says 'yeah I could probably survive'

I honestly feel like it awes the others, especially given their lack of knowledge on humans. If I was a demon I'd be like 'shouldn't thinking about dying break your brain or smth' and here's this baby walking around like 'hey how many ounces of fucking cyanide could I chug before things start getting serious'

And I rewatched Finding Nemo recently and pictured this scene with Lucifer and IK and I think I severely dehydrated myself with how much I cried

IK: "He says to let go! Everything is gonna be alright!!"

Lucifer: "How do you know?! How do you know something bad isn't going to happen?!"

IK: "I don't!"

SHE KNOWS NOTHING!! SHE HAS NO KNOWLEDGE OF HOW FATE CARRIES HER OR WHAT SORT OF INEXPLICABLE DANGERS LIE AHEAD OR EVEN THE BASICS OF HOW MAGIC WORKS AND YET SHE BRAVES THE UNKNOWN ANYWAYS AMD LUCIFER IS IN AWE!!!!!! IM GOING TO BE SICK

this is us right now THAT'S OUR GIRL

for real though. it's like watching a baby bird fly for the first time. it's tiny and helpless and could be crushed in an instant in a predator's jaws, but it clambers out of the nest and jumps for the sky anyway, even if it could very well smash itself to pieces on the rocks below

one of my favourite genres of character tbh... i love that baby bird so dearly

#answering asks #whensam #i think the especial thing with lucifer is that as avatar of pride #he moves forward with absolute certainty that he WILL be able to handle what comes next #(and he panics when confronted with the fact that he can't) #versus ik who's tumbling on with no idea where she's going or what she's doing #it's like. we see lucifer adapt to new life in the devildom by dedicating himself to earning his place there #it's all deliberate and calculated because he needs him and his brothers to survive #whereas ik gets there. looks around. realises 'oh this place is a death trap.' and just keeps chugging along #she wanders her way home and that's how she thrives #they're both lonely at the start of their arcs in different ways #but lucifer thinks he can do it on his own while ik always welcomes company on the road #auhgh i love doing this. i love getting emotional and introspective over my own characters spshdfhsk

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

MC: Well, has Leonardo been wrong before?

Comte: How wide are we willing to open this up?

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp incorrect quotes #ikevamp mc #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #listen ik this isnt the first time ive joked abt it but man #i will never get over the way leonardo and comte are just waiting to roast each other at all times #like when mc's married to leonardo i can only imagine #that at every single opportunity leonardo's away for a minute comte's like #'hey mc wanna hear smth embarassing abt leonardo' #and bc mc is an icon she's like 'lay it on me' #leonardo is like 'please all i have is my man pride' #and mc and comte are in the bg in sunglasses like 'all you HAD was ur man pride. capisce?' #'sayonara little lion man' #petition to get comte proper credit for being the funniest brother(?)in law imaginable #i still laugh abt that event where leonardo is like BICC. THAT WAS MY PRIVATE BUSINESS. #and comtes like 'lmfao 😎 was*' #oh to be a man so disheartened by a world comprised of mortal life and paint a purposefully ephemeral work of art #source: incorrect quote generator

[secondchoice-ragdoll]

#T's “what did u call me? do u think whatever that is is hot? okay then good” #i love the tour pic above K! #and i love how they r still plucked abt not being in Dune2 #K the avid winker... #its so cute how T is featured on this album of K's too😭😭😭 #T wants to be left alone (on the phone) on her bday and K wants attention... well... ((once again relating to K)) #T looked at Ks belly in a suprisingly like? soft way? idk i might have hallucinated that but who knows. #fuck whoever didnt visit K when she would have wanted them to. #its sweet how T visited her! (srsly cant u just communicate who wants what in this situation so its no suprise? ik its hard for them but😭) #T describing Ks party attending habits!!! they know each other soooo well🤭 #aaagh how they have to act like they cant easily spend 2 hrs together having fun when they literally cant wipe the smiles off of their faces #(lesbians..... lovesick idiots.......) #oh they r always facetiming! so adorable :( #T was so excited that they r linked! like girl u do not need more confirmation for that research do u?😭 #K watching the pod...... my heart...... #why dont they just sit closer if they will reach across a whole fucking room to touch eachother?? like it sounds easier for me but u do u! #i really get a kick out of K mentioning TRHPS anytime she does it bc ik it was such a big thing in Ts life and ugh😭 #constantly praising each other😭😭😭😭😭 what if i start sobbing huh #well maybe T is trying to get K to learn how to flirt so that she can practice on her? just an idea?😁 #K putting her leg up on T?????? hi what? jist sit in the other's lap u creatures... its okay we can all look away for a sec if u need it... #their art! i fucking love it! both of it! its art at its finest🛐 and id kill to see a collection of their drawings bc cmon they r amazing! #its cute how they r talking abt smth and then they go “oh wait we were there together!” #its almost as if they actually spend time hanging out😱 (dont let the police know!!4!4) #“if we were on DR now-” okay but why r u still dreaming of that miss T?🤭🤭🤭 (who could blame her) #them watching the movies the other one recommends is the closest we can get to them watching an actual thing together (outside of NF) #also im so happy T spent time w K on her bday :((( #trixie mattel #katya zamo #tbatb #the brians

[bueris]

okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead

#okay venting in the tags you are very welcome to ignore or not respond to it i just need to yell somewhere #i always thought id be an art therapist because well i care about people and want to help them and love art #but everyday i wake up feeling like a fraud and an imposter so like. should i really be doing all that when im not entirely #certain i cpuld handle it??? like i know i haven't gotten the meaty bit of the education towards that yet but like #university costs a disgusting amount of money here and if i pick the wronf thing im likely doomed forever thanks to awful government #i know things could get better like they did after thatcher but honestly im not putting any bets on it considering how the current labour #party is so like if i fuck up here im basically dead #also can i actually do art uni. like could i cope with that. im deeply unethused with art at the moment and honestly will i evwr be #idk #it was jusr a thing i always did but education around it is fucking soul sucking #also the emotional weight of hearing and solving people's problems as a therapist. i would consider myself quite empathetic for the most #part i feel other people's pain quite strongly and obviously as a therapist id be feeling that quite a bit so could i actually cope with it? #ik therapists have therapists but still #i mean im doing work experience at an occupational therapy place so ill just be extra inquisitive about it all to make sure im going #the way i wanna #I'll be fine by the end of a levels ill probably understand what i want in life #if not then gap year to work it out #should probably look at unis for english language too then #sigh #ucas website i may as well marry you #ill be okay im getting in my head about stuff im actually pretty good at art even if there are things i can improve on (like patience lol) #yeah maybe the voice telling me i suck doesnt know shit and should shut up #yeah #shut it nasty voice you're wrong actually!!! im doing just fine and you're being overly critical #they should make a brain that's your friend and not mush that hides the amalgamation of every bad thing ever in its crevices #crevices shoyild be filled with kindness and love. #sex jokes about that #why the fuck is yahoo mail syncing i dont use you you washed up search engine #bue waffling #vent post

[mattodore]

i’ve been pretty quiet on here and avoiding my activity and dms these last few weeks because october was easily one of the worst months i’ve had in a very long time and i lost my family dog of seventeen years and had a medical scare for not only myself but my cat and just all these things happened at once that felt incredibly hard to bounce back from mentally… but aside from being sick atm things are starting to get better for me and my family so hopefully i can actually start being. normal. again soon 🧎

#river dipping #i don’t think i get personal on here very often just bc. the pd. um #but i figured i should say something bc my avoidant personality disorder is uhhhhhhhh #certainly Avoiding. #i’m so sorry if you’ve messaged me or @ed me or just tried interacting in any way #ik i wrote in my pinned navigation that yea i take breaks and avoid my activity and it’s nothing personal #but i still just wanted to reiterate it #i tend to keep notifications off for tumblr and my activity and everything like i only ever check when i’m mentally prepared for the State #my brain goes into when interacting with people #it’s not that i’m ignoring you!! my brain is just. very bad. #and i have a lot of trouble actually replying #especially in private messages #i’m much more comfortable talking publically which is why discord is so not for me 😭 #i really have been pushing myself out of my comfort zone a lot this past year and it’s certainly helped a ton #but still. it’s a disorder i’ve had my whole life so 🤷 it’s still sticking around ykwim #so i’m sorry 😔 but i’m also incredibly thankful toward everyone who’s taken the time to talk to me and interact with me and just thought of #me in general even when i’ve been so isolated recently #ummmm but on the bright side i moved out finally and am at a place that isn’t gonna poison my brain anymore so ‼️ #it took a few horrible days for my pets to get used to the house but things are fine now and i’ve set up my room and am :) doing better #surprisingly my panic disorder has been absent since the move… which is very weird for me #i fr think my previous place might actually have been poisoning me like i’m serious #……..i might delete this post in a bit if i start feeling too crazy abt being vulnerable lmao. um. #but for the people that’re online rn! my beloved friends and lovers yk #there’s my little update