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the-ace-with-spades · 9 months

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Another unhinged buddie fic idea - amnesia Eddie at his best and dumbest

So Eddie gets hurt, hits his head, is unconscious for like two weeks and when he finally wakes up, he thinks it's 2018, he's almost finishing fire academy and his parents are still saying he should let them take Chris away permanently.

To say he panics is an understatement — his muscles are weak after the lack of stimuli but he still puts a fight with the nurse that's trying to take his blood pressure.

He keeps on asking about where he is and where is Chris, only gets a you're in Cedars Sinai MC in Los Angeles and doesn't take for answer anything that tells him to stay still or to be careful with the IV, until the nurse says, "Your partner is right outside, I'm sure he's arranged something for your son."

He freezes. "My partner? I don't have a partner. Who is taking care of my kid?"

The nurse's face changes and there are suddenly more and more questions about what he remembers last, what year he thinks is, and does he remember his partner's name. He tells her - he fell asleep in his bed, 2018, he doesn't have a partner because he's been separated from his wife for a few years now.

Apparently, the year is 2023, he was on a call with his fire crew and got hurt, his partner is definitely his partner because he's his power of attorney, next of kin, and has been taking care of his kid.

So the nurse leaves to talk to the doctor and his partner who is still outside, with said doctor.

(Eddie doesn't know that but the nurse was either absolutely sure this is what Buck is because there are assumptions and there are legal medical documents or she is sure this is the mythical firefighters' bond and they're just very close work partners - your pick. Either way, Eddie thinks she means romantic life partner.)

Meanwhile, Eddie goes through all stages of grief because his apparent partner he acquired in the past five years is a he and apparently such a sure thing he's in all of Eddie's medical documents.

A guy. What kind of a guy he would have to be for Eddie to choose him as his partner?

Then the nurse comes back with a very tall, very handsome guy built like a brick wall but also making a face that makes him look like an eager but sad golden retriever and—

Oh. That explains some stuff. If just looking at him makes Eddie feel like it, then he can't even phantom what being with him feels like.

The guy stops mid-room, not going for a hug like Eddie expected him to. "Heard you don't remember me."

And he sounds so sad that Eddie reaches his hand out and the guy — his partner — is instantly at his side, gripping his hand, and Eddie doesn't let him go until he gets the point and pulls a chair closer and sits with him.

"I don't. So a name would be nice."

"Buck. Well, Evan Buckley, but everyone calls me Buck."

And like, Eddie's never been big for pet names but even in this short moment Buck seems so bright he wants to call him mi sol. "I call you Buck?"

Buck chuckles. "Yeah, you call me Buck. Unless you're really serious, then you call me, you call me Evan."

"Evan," he tests out. "Sounds like you're in trouble."

And Buck smiles at him so softly Eddie is melting in that bed, warmth hitting him where he's still holding Buck's hand hostage and traveling up. "Not to me."

Bobby, who is apparently their captain — even though Eddie has a feeling like he's talking to his in-laws again the whole time he is there — brings Chris to the hospital and he's so big, already eleven, and so sassy with Eddie.

He's also very, very familiar with Buck, which calms him down - he talks about the funny sandwich cutters Buck's been using the whole time Eddie was in the hospital to cheer him up and tentatively admits how they slept in the same bed the first week because Chris had nightmares.

And even though his dad landed in the hospital — again, apparently? — Chris seems very, well, very well-adjusted to the situation at hand, even if Eddie can see he's being a bit clingy with both Eddie and Buck. Like the adults in his life are doing a good job at shielding him.

Buck is the one who has all the hard conversations with him, about Shanon, about his parents, about his abuela moving to Texas because of a whole pandemic, about the accident he had at work, and what will happen once he leaves the hospital.

It's really reassuring, that it's Buck telling him all that.

If he had any doubts about Buck being a very, very good and very, very close partner, all of it disappears when they go back home from the hospital.

His whole house has signs of Buck living their best lives in there — there are photos, cookbooks, cooking utensils Eddie doesn't even know the names of, Buck's clothes mixed in his wardrobe, cards from Chris for the both of them. It's very clear Buck is not only a big part of their life but also lives with them full-time, too.

He knows where everything in the kitchen is — "I have a system, Eddie" — and he knows where all Eddie's insurance paperwork is, knows the PINs to his phone, his cards and accounts, he knows all about Chris' medical needs. He knows how Eddie likes his coffee, how Chirs likes his toasts, which shaving cream Eddie likes, which toothbrush is Eddie's, which pair of shoes Eddie's only bought because they were on discount and never worn, which of Christopher's notebooks is the one for math.

He doesn't remember the past five years but he can't imagine not having Buck as his partner. Knowing he is there doesn't make him anxious like he thought it would — it makes him calm, settled.

So he's offended when the first night comes and Buck tries to bring spare blankets onto their couch. He wants him in their bed.

He gets that Buck is trying to give him space since Eddie doesn't really remember all the years they've been together, but that's a bit much. They're partners, and pretty solid ones at that, not just a new couple figuring stuff out, they must have slept together a million times.

So Eddie tells him to go off the couch and sleep in bed with him. It takes some convincing but eventually, Buck agrees. They lie down, Buck is being unnecessarily awkward, turning his back on Eddie in the dark. Eddie is not having this — turns towards him and spoons him, holding him in his arms. He's pretty sure Eddie getting hurt and forgetting five years is stressful on Buck, too, even if he doesn't show it. He deserves the comfort of his partner, even if said partner doesn't remember all of their life together.

It happens again the night after, and the night after that, until Buck stops tensing up whenever Eddie wraps his arms around him.

Because Eddie was unconscious for so long, he still needs PT, and Buck somehow manages to arrange that Eddie's and Chris' PT is at the same time and Buck oscillates between staying with either of them for the duration. There's one time when the receptionist at the therapy center asks him why he comes in so often when he looks fine — she's flirting with him, Eddie knows, which makes him glare at her, and Buck just tells her, "I'm just the chauffer for my boys." And Eddie calms down.

They assessed him at the hospital and he's supposed to have someone's handheld assistance or use a stick or a frame when he walks, until the PT gets his legs to the state from before. Using either the stick or the frame makes him feel like an old man, and the feeling doubles when Buck, the hunk of a man that he is, is nearby, so he refuses to use it when Buck is around. Which ends with Buck helping him around by placing an arm around his back and holding his hand with the other whenever Eddie needs to move.

Which is an absolutely amazing feeling because Buck is both the gentlest of giants, always knowing when Eddie needs reassurance and so freaking fit and big, Eddie can just rest against his chest whenever he feels wobbly or needs comfort from the embarrassment. It's a very contrasting feeling because it makes Eddie want to be held and pecked all over his face and thrown into the wall to make out.

Eddie's physical fitness improves and he misses Buck's touch the second his therapist says he can start moving without assistance.

That's the only problem Eddie has — Buck refuses to touch him. Again, he knows it's a bit weird with Eddie not remembering. At first, he thought it was just Buck giving him the lead on how much he wants them to do but then Buck keeps on ducking out any time Eddie initiates something.

He goes in for a kiss when Buck is drinking coffee and he dodges, standing up before Eddie can try again. Eddie gives Chris a kiss goodbye and goes to give Buck one, where he's standing next to their kid, and Buck skips out the door, telling him he's going to start the AC in the car. He tries to curl up against his side on the couch and Buck gets up with an excuse of making popcorn or tea or anything else possible. When Eddie slips into the shower while Buck is brushing his teeth, he leaves the bathroom with the toothbrush still in hand. Buck pretends to be asleep when he kisses his neck and swats Eddie's hands off when he moves them under his t-shirt when they're spooning, always calls out Eddie in the dark, like he isn't sure Eddie is comprehending what he's doing.

(Buck is pretty sure Eddie is trying to kill him — just make him have a heart attack or something — even if not deliberately. He isn't suspecting a thing about Eddie's partners assumption.)

It's like Eddie has a partner that loves him but without the bits that are funny. Like, he thought life-affirming sex is a thing and he is cleared for physical activity now and still out of work and going stir-crazy.

He doesn't get it and he can't talk about this with Buck because it almost feels like Buck is rejecting him, every time he ducks away from Eddie's affection or doesn't reciprocate it.

"Buck is—He loves me, right? He hasn't stopped after the accident, he's—He finds me attractive, he wants me, right?"

(Hen, sweet Hen, thinks he figured out Buck is in love with him now that he has a bit of an outsider perspective, and mutters, "Oh boy," cursing in her head because it's too early for this conversation. She isn't even suspecting Eddie heard partners once and ran wild with it.)

"I don't see where you're going with this," Hen says diplomatically.

"It's just, he's not doing anything about it," he explains. "It feels like he's barely touching me."

Hen is freaking out because of all times, Eddie had to realize now—"Do you... want him to touch you?"

"Have you seen him?" Eddie asks and then frowns. "Oh, right, playing for a different team."

"You just had a brain injury," she points out, hoping Eddie will find his brain somewhere, actually, and think.

"It's been almost two months, the doctors say I'm fine, memories aside," he says stubbornly.

"Eddie, I don't think Buck is going to make any first moves when you don't remember the past five years you guys—" She needs to change the track because she's saying too much. "Why don't you just talk to him about it?"

"And say what? Please bend me over our kitchen table? Please shower with me? Please give me kisses goodbye? Please hold me at night?"

"You probably should start with something more...tame," Hen suggests.

He's tried tame — he's tried initiating kisses and hugs and Buck doesn't respond. It's like he is afraid to touch him and Eddie isn't made of glass.

He needs to do something drastic.

So at night, he waits for Buck to come to bed, lights dimmed, and when Buck pulls the covers away to slide into bed with him, Eddie is naked — he can't be more blunt, if this flies over Buck's head, he'll be worried.

"Oh my god," Buck keeps on repeating, not looking at Eddie, blindly trying to put the covers over Eddie.

"Oh, come on, I can't be more obvious," he complains. "Why can't you just touch me, Evan?"

He's taking deep breaths, not looking at Eddie at all and this is the opposite of what he aimed for. "You don't want me, Eddie, you don't even know me."

"I definitely want you," he protests, irritated. He knows what he wants, it's Buck who's been missing the signals right and left. "And I know you, you're my partner, my Buck—I know you want this, too."

It's the truth — when he thinks Eddie can't notice, he looks at him like Eddie is everything he could ask for. He wants him to look at him like that now, too. He knows Buck, even if memories aren't there.

"We're not doing anything until you get your memories back and you actually know who I am."

"What if I never get my memories back?"

Buck doesn't reply and for a second Eddie think he got him, but then Buck stands up from the bed and says, "I think I should move out."

"What?" Eddie protests because that's definitely not what he was aiming for. Buck's place is with them, even if things in their relationship are a bit dry or stilled. "And where exactly would you go?"

"I do actually have my own place, you know?"

And how Eddie was supposed to know? He lives with them. He should not have a back-up place to go.

"I think I'm sending you mixed signals and you obviously don't remember enough to interpret them with clarity in your head," he tells Eddie and leaves.

He actually leaves the house, too, no matter how much he's asking to just sit down and listen to him. He spends the night trashing from side to side, expecting Buck to be back any moment but never getting him back.

(Meanwhile, Buck doesn't go to the loft because everything is dusty in there since he's moved into Eddie's place when he had to take care of Chris when he was still unconscious. Instead, he goes to Maddie's and complains to her over a glass of wine, aiming to stay on her couch overnight. "You didn't see him, Maddie, he was just lying there like a starfish, completely naked, going all, now you can touch me all you want—" and Chim wakes up Jee with how hard he drops the pans he was pretending to clean while eavesdropping.)

Buck comes back in the morning to take Chris to school — he doesn't offer Eddie to take him together and they don't talk at all.

Eddie needs to talk to someone about this because he might have somehow ruined the relationship with the man he's pretty sure he'd like to marry one day. By wanting him to touch him, of all things. But everyone is at work.

Pepa is retired, though. The problem is, Eddie isn't about to tell her Buck had threatened to move out because Eddie wanted him to fuck him.

So he asks the more appropriate question, "Why are we not married yet, actually?"

Maybe if they were married, Buck wouldn't have some secret place to escape. Maybe he'd feel like he can touch Eddie because Eddie is his on paper, too.

Pepa gives him a look that says he's crazy. "Who?"

"Buck and I, obviously." Forget crazy, Pepa stares at him like he's insane. "What? Does Buck—not want to get married? Did I say anything about this to you?"

"Mijo," she says, sounding like it pains her to do so. "You and Buck are not—you're not together, Eddie."

Eddie laughs because that's—that's not possible, they're partners, Buck's been taking care of him and Chris since Eddie woke up, and long, long before that even if Eddie doesn't remember it. He's Eddie's power of attorney and next of kin and he's in Eddie's will, he's all but a step away from adopting Chris, knows all of Chris' and Eddie's medical history, their allergies, their likes and dislikes. He's Eddie's partner.

Pepa is not laughing, just looking at him with that pitying expression on her face,

"But—he loves me, he loves Chris, he loves us," he says dumbly.

"Believe me, I know, we all know," she says. "We've tried stirring you in the right way but you're very stubborn, mijo."

#im sorry this probably doesnt make sense #i don't know how this ends #either eddie decides he wants to be partners anyway memories be damned (and then gets his memories back months later)#or he remembers when buck actually moves out and they get together #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 fox #911 abc #buck my beloved (deregatory)#also as a healthcare professional i feel obligated to tell you this is not how amnesia works #fic ideas #op #charlie writes

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epicbuddieficrecs · 7 months

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Epic Buddie Fic Rec | October 9th-15th 2023

Hey guys!

I'm trying to get back into the habit of making these recs every week. I've been working on a banner and it's not ready yet, but I didn't want to wait for it to be ready before making fic recs because procrastination = bad!! 😆 I hope you enjoy!

If you don't know me from my other fic rec blogs, I rec pretty much all the fics that I've read and that I've enjoyed in these recaps, but I put an emoji next to the ones that I liked just a liiiiiittle bit more 😉 For Stucky, I used blue hearts (💙), for Steddie I used black hearts (🖤), and for Buddie... well the decision wasn't too hard to make 😜

Complete

take me to the edge (then let me fall) by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (PWP | 1K | Explicit): Or, the one where Eddie edges Buck until he loses his mind all the while calling him a good boy.

🔥 but i can see all along, love (it was you all the way down) by diazchristopher/ @captain-hen (Post-S6, Time Loop | 28K Mature): He puts his laptop away after a bit, and paces the length of his apartment as he tries to take stock of the situation at hand. One: The date is March 22nd, 2024. Two: It has been March 22nd for 3 days now. Three: Buck is trapped in some kind of time loop that is forcing him to relive this day. Four: Eddie is, apparently, in love with him. And. And. Five: Buck doesn’t feel the same way.

🔥 still by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (Post-Season 6 AU, Near Death Experiences | 9K | Teen): “Your guess was correct, Diaz,” the bomb technician tells them, as he gestures to the orange circle. “You’re standing on a large sensor plate, wired to a detonator. It’s incredibly important that you don’t move. Don’t shift. When you put your weight down, it was like cocking a gun - you take your weight off, this thing is powerful enough to take the entire house with it."

to feel the need of your touch by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (PWP, Light BDSM, Post-Season 6 | 7K | Explicit): When Natalia had casually suggested they stay fuck buddies, at least until he got his shit together about Eddie, Buck had seriously considered it. But it just wasn’t what he wanted. So, he had said no and Natalia had understood, and that was that. And now, Buck was miserable. He was so sensitive. His skin felt like a live wire. Any and all touches he received started to feel like a shock to his system. Or, the one where Buck is touchstarved and desperate for Eddie. They fuck but it's also really sweet.

reassure me with your praise by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (PWP, Kinktober, Getting Together | 5K | Explicit): Or, the one where Buck is concerned he might be bad in bed and Eddie has a solution.

bet on it by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (PWP, Kinktober | 4K | Explicit): Or, the one where newly together Buck and Eddie make a bet to see who can last longer without sex. The bet lasts one day.

Something Dumb to Do by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (Friends to Lovers, First Time | 8K | Explicit): "Too bad we can't just date each other." Eddie laughs. "What?" "No, I'm serious!" Buck sets his beer down, the better to gesture with both hands, face lighting up, and Eddie just—he really loves the guy, okay. Ridiculous as he is. "It would be so much easier! You wouldn't have to introduce a new person to Chris—he already likes me anyway—and you could tell Pepa so she'll stop setting you up on dates that don't go anywhere—" "And what would you get out of this?" Eddie asks, grinning. - Or: Buck and Eddie try something out together.

hope is a sword by marcato/ @callaplums (Post-Season 6, Near-Death Experiences | 5K | Teen): Holy shit, Eddie loves him so much. He’s been so stupid, telling himself to wait for the right moment. What right fucking moment? It should have been yesterday, three weeks ago– hell, it should have been three years ago when he was telling his best friend about the goddamn will. It doesn’t matter right now, though. The only thing that matters is keeping as much of Buck’s blood inside his body as possible. One can only hope and wish and pray.

🔥 Four Can Keep a Secret by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-Season 6, Secret Relationship | 20K | Teen): When Ravi and Hen accidentally see Buck and Eddie, who are trying hard to keep their new relationship a secret, in the middle of a romantic moment, they try to make them confess without the rest of the station finding out. Shenanigans ensue.

early hours of yearning by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (PWP, Kinktober | 4K | Explicit): “You really wanna go again?" “Yes,” he confirms, gently scratching his teeth down the side of his neck, treasuring the deep moan he gets in response. “God, you’re fucking insatiable," he hears Eddie moan as he tilts his head back, giving Buck more space to work. “Doesn’t feel like you’re complaining."

how forever feels by icesculptures/ @ice-sculptures @athenagranted (Post-Season 6, Getting Together | 8K | General): Or: tired of the growing distance between them, Eddie asks Buck to dance at Maddie and Chimney's wedding, healing more than his own heart along the way.

WIP

Don't They Know It's the End of the World? by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Fallout 4 AU, Post-Apocalyptic | 4/14 | 7K | Mature | Warning: Violence): After being put in a cryogenic sleep for over a hundred years to wait out an apocalyptic event, Eddie Diaz wakes up, too early, to find his son has been stolen from his cryo-chamber. Scared and alone in a frightening world he doesn't recognize, Eddie is willing to do anything to get his kid back.

🔥 Nothing Left But You by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars ("Blip" AU | 8/9 | 24K | Teen | Warning: MCD): In May of 2021, 25% of Earth's population suddenly disappears. Including Eddie. In May of 2026, they all come back. Eddie finds himself suddenly in the middle of a world he doesn't recognize, where the people he loves most have changed significantly.

Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Demon Buck, Canon Divergent | 2/? | 4K | Teen): Buck is a demon with the power to help with pregnancy, childbirth, and infant health. When the Buckleys make a deal asking for someone to help 'save their baby', Buck leaps at the chance as it will give him what he's always wanted: a life on earth. But demon deals are tricky and neither of them gets quite what they're after. This is Buck's journey as he navigates growing up on earth and remembering how to help those in need.

🔥 for all the haunts and homes of men by euadnes/ @kananjarus (Canon Divergent, Post-Apocalyptic, Station Eleven Crossover | WIP | 10/? | 85K | Mature | Warning: Violence): The year by the old calendar is 2025. Home is gone. Home is a failed rescue mission and an echo of a memory. Home is a lost boy living in a wooden house by the sea. But first, there was a promise. Christopher, when it's safe, I'll take you back to your father. Buck had all but given up on keeping it after the world had died and everyone in it. But just as some oaths refuse to be forgotten, so the same can be said about the endurance of love.

#buddie #buddie fic #911 fanfic #911 fanfiction #911 fic #buddie fanfic #buddie fanfiction #buddie fic rec #epic buddie fic rec

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canonicallyobserving911 · 1 month

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Several Sentences Sunday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

"Their Firsts, At Last" - A Buddie Future Fanfic Series

Parts 1-11 are available on AO3 and Part 12 will be posted soon.

Their Firsts, At Last - 163.1K Words; Currently 11 completed works: A multi-part fanfic series about the romantic “firsts” Buck and Eddie share as they journey through life in an established relationship and their lives as a couple will include some of Buck’s individual “firsts” too. It’s filled with the FANON love, romance, fluff and domesticity their relationship should have been allowed to experience in CANON. The second part of the series title was adapted from the song “At Last” by Etta James.

This series of FANON future speculation fanfics is being written on a continuous timeline that begins with the start of season 7 (if it were to start in September 2023). Each part ends at a specific point in Buck and Eddie’s relationship so the next part can begin with the ending of the previous part. Therefore, parts 1-10 should be read prior to reading part 11 and the series will continue in that manner until it’s complete.

___________

It's been a few months since I finished Part 11 in this series but I'm working on it again because I want to finish it. My plan is to have it done soon and once the last fic is done, the series will be complete.

In Part 11, Buck and Eddie had just learned Eddie won an all-expenses paid trip to Italy and since they were trying to decide what they were going to do for their honeymoon, this trip came just in time. They'll spend 8 days and 7 nights in Roma, Italia and they're leaving the day after their wedding. Also, Buck's godparents offered to let them use their beach house on Will Rogers state beach for their ceremony and they only have 5 days to get Buck moved out of the loft, buy their suits and invite everyone to the ceremony. Time is of the essence and they're working towards getting everything done before Friday so they can get married.

___________

Here's a snippet from Part 12 and it's from one of Buck and Eddie's romantically fluffy conversations while they're lying in bed.

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After they climax together, it takes a few moments for their vision to return and for them to come down off their euphoric highs but once they do, Buck collapses on top of Eddie and his head falls onto the pillow right beside his. A couple of seconds pass then he slowly pulls out but he stays on top of him with both of his legs in between his.

They’re both sweaty and sticky but instead of getting up to take a shower, they continue quietly gazing at each other with their faces mere millimeters apart until Buck leans down, closes the space between them and places a soft kiss onto his fiancé’s lips. When he pulls back, he takes a moment to look at him like he always does because Eddie’s the most beautiful man he’s ever seen in his life.

He’s absolutely mesmerized by him and even while Eddie’s forehead has beads of sweat on it and his cheeks are flushed and rosy, he’s still gorgeous. His honey brown eyes have golden flakes in them that sparkle and with his head lying on the pillow that’s covered in a white pillowcase, to him, he looks almost ethereal.

Ever since they met, he’s marveled at his beauty and not long after they agreed to have each other’s backs, he wondered if he would be fortunate enough to call Eddie all his. To this day being with him still takes his breath way because he never thought he’d be here since his feelings of being abandoned have always been an issue for him. Every person he thought loved him never did and all they wanted was a good time but deep down in his heart, he knows Eddie will never leave and being with him is everything he’s dreamed of.

Every time he looks at him, it still boggles his mind a little bit because at one point, he was preparing to live a life alone like Red did but that’s not his fate.

They’re engaged and they’re getting married in five days at a house located on Will Rogers State Beach and the next day they’ll be leaving L.A. traveling to Rome, Italy and he can’t wait to spend all 8 days and 7 nights with his husband and their son.

While looking into those ocean blue eyes he loves so much Eddie’s smiling and enjoying just being this close to him but when he notices Buck has a faraway look in his eyes, he gets concerned. He lightly traces his fingertips from Buck’s forearms to his shoulders and whispers, “What’s wrong?”

He shakes his head, smiles then he leans down and kisses him once more but this time it’s even softer. After he breaks it, he talks against them and says, “You’re so beautiful.”

Eddie playfully rolls his eyes and to Buck it’s one of the most adorable things he’s ever seen.

He kisses him again. “I mean it, Eddie… you’re gorgeous and I love you more than anything”.

Eddie bashfully smiles, lifts his head and kisses his cheek and once his head is resting on the pillow again, he replies, “You’re gorgeous and I love you with every part of me. You’re my angel Buck”.

He blushes in response then his million-dollar Eddie smile graces his lips.

“You are and I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful than you.”

They fall silent as the magnitude of their admissions fill the room and while they dreamily look at each other, Buck takes a few seconds to contemplate something he’s been wanting to ask for a month but he’s not sure how to approach it.

Eddie notices and says, “Tell me what’s on your mind my love”.

“I love you and I love everything we do when we make love but…” He trails off when he sees Eddie’s eyes widen and his eyebrows go up and immediately, he knows he needs to explain so there aren’t any misunderstandings. He kisses his lips again then continues. “It’s nothing bad I just… I want to know would you ever, uh… I mean I know we talked about this back in October but do you want to… make love to me sometimes?”

How will Eddie respond to Buck’s question? 👀

____________

First Love Confession -Buck and Eddie share their first real and meaningful love confession.

First Date - Buck and Eddie go on their first date.

First Kiss - Buck and Eddie share their first kiss.

First Argument - Buck and Eddie have their first argument.

First Couples Therapy Session- Buck and Eddie go to their first couples therapy sessions.

First Time - Eddie and Buck make love for the first-time.

First Morning After - The night after Buck and Eddie make love for the first-time, they spend their first morning after together.

First Relationship Reveal - Buck and Eddie’s first relationship reveal.

First Mourning - Buck and Eddie experience their first mourning after a loss together.

First Marriage Proposal - Eddie and Buck’s first marriage proposal.

First Fiancé Introductions - Buck and Eddie’s first introductions as fiancés.

Part 12 - Will be posted soon.

__________

Parts 1 - 11 are available on AO3

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #ao3 fanfic #buddie fanfic #911 fanfic #Their Firsts At Last - A Buddie Fanfic Series #Fanonwriter2023 on AO3 #Part 12 will be posted soon.#911 abc #911 on abc #Several Sentences Sunday #Seven Sentences Sunday

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fanbloggingpursuedbyabear · 1 year

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The Deluca-Bishop and Diaz-Buckley Guide to Navigating a Relationship Where One Partner Figuratively and Literally Cannot Stop Running Into Burning Buildings

A few days after making this post, I started to work on a Maya Bishop meets Evan Buckley crossover fic. I finally finished it. I would like to thank @firefighterbracket for the inspiration. This was a lot of fun to write. The working title of this document was "Reckless Bisexual Childhood Trauma 'Siblings.'"

This fic is set a few months post-canon and complies with known canon as of May 3, 2023.

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“You died, Buck. Again. You can’t just walk that off.” … On the other side of the curtain, a similar conversation played out. … Carina paused, taking a deep breath. “And you. You almost died, Maya. Again. We need to talk about that.”

Content Warnings: Mentions of Death, Hospital Setting

Read on AO3

Read on Tumblr below the cut

“This is so good,” Maya said between mouthfuls of pizza. “It is much better than anything we could have had in Seattle.”

“You didn’t need to fly me all the way to California just to eat pizza,” Carina teased. “What’s this about?”

“Even though the ‘official’ reason I’m in LA is a department-sponsored training on fighting brush fires, I thought it’d be nice to take a short vacation as just the two of us.” Maya paused to analyze the expression of her wife, who had just stopped eating. “Is everything okay?”

“I am just so in love with you,” Carina confessed.

“Oh-” Maya giggled. She lightly shook her head in an attempt to stop the rising rosiness on her cheeks. A little flustered, her eyes scanned the view of the city from the restaurant patio when she suddenly felt something was off. She tried to distract herself by digging a hair tie out of her purse and pulling her hair back into a ponytail, but Maya’s off-put feelings only intensified.

Carina, noticing this change in her wife’s behavior, asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Do you smell that?” When Maya received no answer, she continued. “I think I smell smoke. Something around here is on fire. I should go.”

“Maya, stay,” Carina pleaded. “I am sure that the local fire department is perfectly capable of handling it.”

“But-”

“Maya, you just said it yourself. You are not at work. You are on vacation with me. Let’s enjoy it together, please.”

“What if someone needs-”

“HELP!” a voice called out from down the street, finishing and answering Maya’s question. A man in a purple polo shirt and khakis ran around the corner at the end of the street and stopped to catch his breath. Again, he called out, “I need some help!”

Maya jumped out of her seat and started sprinting down the sidewalk, leaving her small crossbody purse on the table next to her pizza. “Sir,” she shouted, “my name is Lieutenant Maya Bishop. I am an off-duty firefighter and paramedic from the Seattle Fire Department. What do you need?”

“I’m the principal of the school just down the block,” the man responded. “There was an accident in one of our science labs, and the fire department is still five minutes out. I need help with the kids.”

Carina didn’t even try to stop her wife. She just sighed, pulled $40 out of her wallet, and tucked the cash under a plate on the table. Carina grabbed both her purse and Maya’s purse and ran after her wife.

----------

The step-down unit at LA County General Hospital had been able to get some new beds when COVID hit, but they weren’t able to get new rooms. This meant that some rooms held more than one patient. The step-down staff generally tried to avoid more than one person per room, but when the ICU and step-down were at capacity, only a privacy curtain separated one bed from the other. Most of the kids injured in the fire had been diverted to pediatric hospitals or placed in the PICU, but the influx of other patients meant that LA County General’s step-down had to start doubling up.

Having seen another patient on the other side of the curtain as he walked into the room, Eddie kept his voice down as he talked with a newly-awake Buck. “They’re treating some kids and adults for second-degree burns and smoke inhalation, but no one has stayed dead.”

“What do you mean, ‘stayed dead’?” Buck asked.

“You carried a kid out to triage, and Hen noticed that you looked bad. She wouldn’t let you go back inside until you got some Oxygen and she did a workup. You were drenched in sweat, so she couldn’t get the leads on the monitor to stick. She got them to stick, but she only got two seconds of monitor readout before you arrested. You were in asystole for 72 seconds. It was Hen that caught the hyperkalemia and brought you back. You should call her.”

“Do we know what caused it?” Buck followed up.

“Not with certainty. The doctors think it was a combination of the beta blockers they started you on, the amount you were sweating, exertion, and probably something else.”

“How long until I can get back to work?”

“You died, Buck. Again. You can’t just walk that off.”

“I was dead for a shorter amount of time this time. I can’t stop being a firefighter -- it’s what I’m meant to do.”

“I don’t want you to stop being a firefighter. Take it from someone that has tried not being a firefighter: you don’t need to quit your job to save your life. You just need to make your health and safety a priority, Evan.”

On the other side of the curtain, a similar conversation played out. Upon waking, Maya looked around the room for Carina, and a sense of relief washed over her when she saw Carina seated in a chair pulled up next to the side of the bed. “Carina,” Maya said, though her strained voice had a hard time escaping the nonrebreather mask over her face. She pulled the mask down and tried again. “Carina, is everyone okay?”

Carina, finally hearing her wife, looked up to see Maya holding the mask away from her face. “Maya, the mask stays on,” she instructed Maya. When her wife obliged, replacing the mask, Carina continued, “No deaths. Some kids and teachers with smoke inhalation and a firefighter that collapsed.” Carina paused, taking a deep breath. “And you. You almost died, Maya. Again. We need to talk about that.”

“What’s there to talk about? It’s not my fault that I-” Maya’s tone shifted to defensive before she stopped her sentence short, realizing what Carina might want to discuss. “I had a duty to help!”

“You also had a duty to stop when the LAFD told you not to continue without protection. I know that you know that stopping wouldn’t have lost you your job. I know this wasn’t about your job, but it still felt like you were choosing being a firefighter over me. I had to watch you run into a burning building, and I couldn’t do anything about it.” Carina stood up from her seat.

“Carina, I’m sorry. I-”

“I know, and I know that you are working on this with Diane. I love you, bambina, but I need you to ask yourself if you really value your life.” Carina steps toward the door. “I’m going to get some coffee,” she says as she opens the door.

Moments after Carina stepped out, Dr. Abbasi entered the room. She glanced over at Maya. “Hi, Maya. I’m glad to see you’re awake. I’m Dr. Abbasi, the critical care attending assigned to your care. Do you have any questions for me right now?”

“How long do I have to be here?” Maya coughed out the question, following it with a round of loud, wet coughing.

Dr. Abbasi quickly grabbed a paper cup from across the room and handed it to Maya. “Spit,” she instructed. After Maya lifted the mask and spit a glob of phlegm into the cup, Dr. Abbasi placed the cup on the table next to Maya. “You don’t want to keep swallowing that stuff; it’ll keep you sick. We want to keep you here overnight for observation and continued treatment. I can discharge you once you stop spitting up, your blood gases are good, and you can maintain oxygenation on room air.” She paused to allow Maya to digest this information. “Is your wife around? I’d like to speak with her.”

“Carina went to get a cup of coffee,” Maya responded, not showing her anxiety about when Carina would return.

“Okay. I’ll check back in later.” Dr. Abbasi smiled and walked over to the other side of the curtain. She was pleasantly surprised to see another patient awake. “Hi, Evan. I’m glad to see you’re awake. I’m Dr. Abbasi, the critical care attending assigned to your care. Do you have any questions for me right now?”

“Uh, no, I don’t think so.”

“Okay. Let me know if something comes up later,” Dr. Abbasi responded. “Mr. Diaz, can I talk to you in the hallway?” She walked out of the room, taking Eddie with her.

Maya stared up at the ceiling. “Evan, huh?”

“Yeah, though my friends call me Buck,” Buck replied.

“Why Buck?”

“It’s short for my last name, Buckley. What about you?”

“Maya. I overheard that you had died again. What’s the story there?” Maya reached for the cup and started to cough again.

“I, uh, was struck by lightning a couple months back. According to Eddie, I was dead for 3 minutes and 17 seconds. I was in a coma for a while, and I had this really weird dream. I didn’t get any of that this time around.”

“Struck by lightning? How’d that happen?”

“I’m a firefighter, and there was this apartment fire during this big thunderstorm, and I was on the ladder, and I, uh, don’t remember too much after that.” Buck let out a small nervous laugh. “So, uh, what do you do?” he asked, attempting to change the subject.

“I’m also a firefighter, but I work in Seattle.”

“Seattle. What brings you to the great city of Los Angeles?”

“Brush fire response training. I was going to spend the next few days here as a mini vacation with my wife, but I think I ruined that.”

“How did you ruin it?”

“I ran into a burning building and almost died. I got distracted by the kids needing help and wasn’t thinking. It was stupid, and I-”

“I, uh, I get it,” Buck interrupted her. “I’ve ignored evacuation orders to save civilians on more than one occasion. I’m the first one to volunteer for dangerous rescues. I am constantly putting myself in danger and not thinking twice about it, or even once for that matter. I, uh, understand the guilt, too. Maddie, Cap, Eddie, and Chris have feared for my life more than is healthy. It’s a lot.”

“It is,” Maya agreed. “Why do you keep doing it anyway?”

“I can’t stop,” Buck admitted. “It’s just a, uh, part of who I am.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was born to be a bone marrow donor for my older brother. It didn’t work, and he died before I could even register that he existed. My parents were so beside themselves with grief that Maddie and I were pushed to the side. Even though I didn’t know what had happened at the time, they blamed me for his death. I acted out hoping that they would notice me, but they just got mad at me when I got hurt. I never really grew out of it, but I have slowed down.”

“How did you figure all that out?”

“Therapy. Lots of therapy.”

“Oh.”

“Not the answer you had hoped for?”

“No. I have worked so hard to get back to a good place with my wife, to rebuild her trust in me, and I just acted like none of that ever happened. How I acted today is how Maya from a year ago would have acted. I’m not supposed to be that Maya anymore.” Maya paused to take a deep breath. “How do I stop?” She coughed another glob of phlegm into the cup.

“I’m not sure I can help you with that one. I’ve died twice this year.”

“Right. How do I fix this?”

“I’m not the right person to answer that question either, but I know someone that might be.”

Just outside the room, Carina sat in one of the two chairs conveniently placed next to the door, clutching a white to-go cup of lukewarm hospital coffee. Though her eyes were glazed over and her vision blurred, she was determined to not start sobbing.

A few feet away, Eddie finished his conversation with Dr. Abbasi. As he headed back to the room, he noticed Carina’s worried expression. He recognized her as the companion to Buck’s roommate and took a seat next to her. “You look like you could use someone to talk to,” he said. Realizing he hadn’t introduced himself, he added, “I’m Eddie Diaz. My friend in there is Buck.”

Carina turned slightly to face Eddie with her bleary eyes. “You’re a firefighter, right? You were at the school fire earlier today?”

Eddie nodded in response.

Carina continued, sounding a little unsure, “I’m, um, Dr. Carina DeLuca. My wife in there is Maya. And I’m fine.”

“Okay,” Eddie replied with a hint of skepticism in his voice. He looked away from Carina to stare down the hallway, but he didn’t get out of his seat.

After a slightly awkward 30 seconds, Carina broke the silence. “Your friend in there, Buck? Is he going to be okay?”

“Physically, he’s going to be fine. Emotionally, I can’t really say. It’s the second time he’s died on the job, and he still wants to keep going.”

“What do you mean, ‘the second time’?” Carina took a sip of her watered-down coffee.

“Buck was struck by lightning a few months ago. His heart stopped for 3 minutes and 17 seconds. He came back with new math superpowers and a whole ‘life is a gift’ philosophy. He had just really started to process what it meant to have died. He was finally starting to understand that he is not expendable. Then he died again through no fault of his own.”

“I don’t know how to respond to that.”

“That’s okay. How is Maya?”

“I don’t know,” Carina admitted. “The smoke inhalation injury was pretty bad, but the attending that admitted her said that she’d make a full recovery with proper care and rest. I’m not even sure I can convince her to stay in the hospital once she’s off Oxygen, not to mention resting when she gets discharged. Asking Maya to take a break is like asking a baby to stop being cute: she doesn’t know how to.”

“So Maya is the off-duty firefighter that ran back in after Cap told her not to?”

Carina sighed. “Yeah.”

“From what I’ve heard, she sounds a lot like Evan. A couple of years ago, he sued the city because he was benched while on blood thinners-”

“Let’s not give Maya any ideas,” Carina interrupted.

“Until the lightning strike, he lived for the danger. Even after his attitude changed, he still didn’t know how to stop trying to save everyone but himself,” Eddie finished.

“You could say that last part about Maya,” Carina responded, beginning to fidget with her wedding ring. “I want to help her, but I don’t know how. She almost killed herself after shutting me out for months. She wouldn’t let me in, so the only thing I could do was commit her, and that almost destroyed our relationship. I don’t think I can take it happening again. I love her too much for that.”

“You can’t always wait for them to let you in. Sometimes, you have to kick the door down yourself. It’s what Buck did for me, literally.”

“Did that help?”

“It saved my life, my career, and my walls.” Eddie’s phone buzzed in his pocket, letting him know that it was almost time to pick Chris up from school. “I need to go pick my son up from school. I should probably check in with Buck before I go. Are you coming back in?”

“I think I need I little bit more time. Can you tell Maya that I went to grab something to eat?” Carina asked Eddie as he got up from his chair.

“I’ll let her know,” Eddie told her. He opened the door and walked into the room.

Inside, Eddie turned to Maya first. “Maya, your wife wanted me to let you know that she went to get something to eat.”

“You saw her?” Maya asked timidly.

“We ran into each other in the hallway?” Eddie said.

“Is that Eddie over there?” Buck asked from the other side of the curtain.

“Yeah. I need to-”

“Great,” Buck cut Eddie off. “Can you do something about this curtain? Maya and I have been talking. It turns out we have a lot in common.”

“I’ve heard.”

“You have? What did Carina say about me?” Maya followed up.

“She loves you,” Eddie replied. He pushed the curtain back so that it bunched up against the wall, allowing Maya and Buck to see each other. Eddie then turned his attention to Buck, turning his head to lock eyes with Buck. “Buck, Carla’s off today, so I need to go get Christopher from school. We’re going to pick up some dinner, and then come back here. Please don’t let him sweet talk you into doing his math homework again.”

Buck smiled softly as if to silently giggle at Eddie’s last statement. “Does the team know I’m awake?”

“Yes. I told them after my conversation with Dr. Abbasi. Shift doesn’t end for a couple of hours, but they’ll stop by later. Maddie is on her way.”

“Thanks, Eddie.”

----------

Maddie arrived at the hospital about 20 minutes later. As she walked into the hospital room, she ignored Maya and headed directly for Buck’s bed. “Oh, Evan, I am so glad you’re okay.” She placed her black purse on the floor as she took a seat on the edge of the foot of Buck’s hospital bed. Maddie looked her brother in the eye and rested a reassuring hand on his leg. “Eddie told me what happened. That must be a lot to process. How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, Maddie. Really. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“I’ve been worrying about you since you were little. It’s not something I can just turn off.”

“You’ve mentioned that before.”

“Well, it’s true.”

“I know that you are here to check on me, but I was hoping that you could help me with something else.” Buck glanced over at Maya. “Maya, this is my sister, Maddie. Maddie, this is Maya Bishop, an Olympic gold medalist-turned-firefighter from Seattle.”

Maddie looked across the room to find Maya. “What did you play?”

“I ran the women’s 10,000-meter in 2012.”

Maddie just nodded lightly in response. She looked down at her hands and twiddled her thumbs, hoping that someone else would fill the silence.

“You don’t seem too impressed. I was the US’s first gold medal in women’s athletics that summer. It was a big deal,” Maya said, sarcastically offended.

“I didn’t really watch,” Maddie admitted. “Doug said that running wasn’t a sport worth watching, and I didn’t care to pay attention while I was at work.”

Noticing his sister’s distress, Buck was eager to change the subject. “So Maddie, Maya here needs some advice. She and I have strikingly similar patterns in behavior, and she’s going through a bit of a rough patch with her wife. I figured that between you raising me and you building back your relationship with Chimney, you might be able to offer some guidance.”

Maya looked up at Maddie with a hopeful-lost-puppy look in her eyes. “I keep messing everything up. I’m worried that she can’t love me anymore. It’s like I’ve stabbed her in the heart, and the moment it starts to heal, I twist the knife.” Maya pulled the mask off her face to wipe away the tears that had started to fall onto her cheeks.

Maddie got up from Buck’s bed and crossed the room to take a seat at the foot of Maya’s bed. “Hey. We are not going there right now.” Maddie paused to get up to grab Maya a tissue. “Can you tell me what happened?”

“Where should I start?” Maya asked half-jokingly.

“Whenever you think is good.”

“Okay.” Maya let out a shaky breath, which was followed by a coughing fit and another glob of phlegm into her cup. “After I was demoted, I started working out really hard and pushing everyone away. It got to the point where I almost died, but instead of accepting the help I needed, I kicked Carina out. It’s taken us months to rebuild our relationship. I wanted to take Carina on a short vacation, but I ran into a burning building and almost died again. Now I’m stuck here, and Carina seems pretty upset. How do I fix this?”

“Have you talked to your wife?”

“Not since she walked out after I woke up.”

“Eddie did,” Buck added, “but he would only say that Carina said that she loved Maya.”

“Why did you run into a burning building?” Maddie asked.

“LAFD was five minutes out and the kids needed help.”

“Then why is your wife mad at you?”

“Because I ran back in after LAFD showed up and told me to stop.”

Maddie shifted her weight around, trying to piece together what may have happened. She remembered Bobby sounding quite angry about a civilian on the radio during the school fire earlier that day. She tried to put that out of her mind as she followed up, “Why did you do that?”

“I don’t know,” Maya sobbed, tucking her hands under the elastic coming from the side of her mask to cover her eyes. “I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.” Maya started to cough again, a wet hacking interrupting her sobs. The monitor over her head flashed as her Oxygen saturation values slowly fluctuated downward.

Maddie, noting the cup on Maya’s bedside table, grabbed the cup and brought it to Maya’s chin. She slowly lifted the mask off of Maya’s face and allowed Maya to cough a smoky glob of phlegm into the cup. “Maya, it’s okay to not know, but I do need you to slow your breathing a bit. Would you like me to walk you through some deep breaths?”

“I got it,” Maya replied as she attempted to take some long breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth.

“Good,” Maddie said to a now-calmer Maya. “Can you tell me why you think your wife can’t love you anymore?”

“I haven’t been able to move past it. I’m supposed to be a better Maya, but I can still hear his voice in my head. ‘No one loves a failure. People want a winner.’ I want to stop scaring my wife, but I don’t know how. All I know is ‘eyes forward.’ How can Carina love me if I’m failing at this?” Silent tears streamed down Maya’s face.

“I don’t think you’re failing,” Buck chimed in.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s hard. Getting the things our parents taught us about ourselves out of our heads is hard. I would know.”

“He’s right,” Maddie agreed. “I still hear the voices of my parents criticizing me in my head, and I’ve been working on that for a long time. You said that you wanted to stop scaring your wife. What did you mean by that?”

“I do these stupid things, and I get hurt, and then I push everyone away.”

“That is something I can help with,” Maddie responded. “The first step to getting your wife’s trust back is taking your recovery seriously, but I think you already know that.” She turned her soft face from Maya to glare at her brother. “You just probably weren’t ready to say it to yourself.” Maddie thought about adding, ‘That goes for you too, Buck,’ but her glare said it for her.

Having a much clearer mind, a sudden wave of slight panic and embarrassment came over Maya. “No, no, no,” she said. “I did not just have a breakdown on a total stranger again.”

“It’s okay,” Maddie reassured her. “I work at 911 dispatch. I speak to total strangers having the worst day of their lives all day. I just normally can’t see their faces.”

Maya stared down at her hands. “Thank you, Buck. Thank you, Maddie. Thank you.”

15 minutes later, Carina’s voice punctuated a soft knock at the door. “Maya, I’m coming in.”

As Carina entered the room, Maya began to speak. “Carina, I’m sorry. What I did was not okay. I didn’t mean to scare you, and-”

“Maya, please stop talking. I know you’re sorry, but I need to say this now, or I’m worried that it’ll never get said.” Carina took a deep breath. “I love you, but I cannot have you keeping me in the dark. I am worried about you, and I don’t know how to help. I want to trust that you are getting better, but then you pull things like this, and I don’t know if I should believe you.”

“How can I-”

“Maya, let me finish. I would like to sit down with you and Diane.”

“You want to go to couples’ therapy?”

“No. I want to have a real conversation with you and Diane about how I can best support you. Is that something we can do?” Carina walked over to Maya’s bed, tentatively taking a seat just past her wife’s feet.

“Yeah. That can be arranged.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Carina spotted a stack of papers on the bedside table that hadn’t been there before. “What’s that?” she asked, gesturing toward the stack of papers.

“Yes. That,” Maya said excitedly. “That is a copy of my medical records release form to give to Grey-Sloan when we get home. They already filed one here.” She cracked a shy smile. “I also filled Andy and the Battalion Chief in on what happened. I have a couple days of desk duty lined up for when I’m scheduled to go back to work.”

“Wow. Maya, I’m impressed.” Carina grabbed the release packet off the table and paged through the fully-completed form. She didn’t recognize the witness signature on the last page. “Who is this?”

“It’s Maddie, Buck sister.” Maya pointed to Maddie, who was quietly speaking with Buck on the other side of the room.

Carina glanced across the room, not having registered that the curtain had been pulled back when she walked in the room. “Thank you, Maddie.”

Maddie perked up and looked over at Carina. “You don’t have to thank me. This was all your wife’s idea.”

“It was?” Carina asked, shifting her gaze back to her wife.

“Yeah.” Maya let out a proud giggle and locked eyes with her wife. “What’s that look for?”

“I want to kiss you so bad right now, but your mouth definitely still tastes like smoke.”

Maya reached for Carina’s head and leaned in to press their foreheads together. “How’s this instead?”

“You still smell like smoke,” Carina remarked.

Buck looked at Maya and Carina longingly. “You two seem so good for each other. I wish I had someone who looked out for me and understood me like that.”

Maya slowly pulled away from Carina. “What about your husband?” she asked innocently.

“My what?”

“Your husband. What was his name? Eddie?”

“Eddie’s not my husband,” Buck replied, realizing that while that was certainly true in a legal sense, he wasn’t so sure if he acted like it wasn’t true at all.

“You look at him like he’s your husband. He looks at you like you’re his husband. You talk about him like he’s your husband. You might not be married, but he is your husband.” Maya squeezed Carina’s hand.

“How did you know? You and Carina?”

“When something bad happens, the first person I look for is Carina,” Maya offered.

Buck considered what person he would go to in that situation. He started a running tally. Eddie: 1

“When I have a bad day, all I want is to be in Maya’s arms,” Carina added.

Eddie: 2

“I’d be a completely different person if it weren’t for Carina.”

Eddie: 3

“If I could call anyone in the world from the hospital, I’d call Maya.”

Eddie: 4

“I think I get the point,” Buck responded before Maya could add another item to the list. “I could say all of those things about Eddie. What, uh, what now?”

“You tell him,” Maya instructed.

“H-how?”

Maddie pulled out her phone and sent a quick text to Eddie. “You have fifteen minutes to figure that out,” she informed Buck. “He and Christopher will be here shortly.”

----------

Eddie got back to the hospital with Chris about an hour after he left. Chris rushed over to Buck and gave him a big hug. “Buck, you have to stop dying on me,” Chris demanded.

“I’m trying my best,” Buck half-joked back.

“It’s time for homework,” Eddie told Chris, placing his backpack down next to the chair on the far side of Buck’s bed. He looked up at Buck to say, “Maddie’s text said you needed to tell me something?”

“Eddie, these past few months I’ve been looking for someone that really sees me. In doing so, I overlooked the one person in my life that does: you. I am not afraid to be my full, true self around you. Eddie-”

“Just kiss him already,” Chris interjected.

“What did you just say, bud?” Eddie asked, slightly taken aback by Chris’s demand.

“Oh come on!” Chris continued. “The two of you have been in love for years. How come I noticed but you didn’t, Dad?”

“I agree with the kid,” Maya added.

“Me too,” Carina agreed. “The way you talked about Buck in the hallway is the same way I talk about Maya.”

“I wasn’t exactly expecting to make a speech right now, so I don’t have much to say. Evan, you-”

“Just kiss him and get it over with!”

“Fine.”

#911 fox #station 19 #maya bishop #evan buck buckley #buddie #marina #carina deluca #eddie díaz #wee woo show crossovers

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serendipitouswasteland · 1 year

Text

Sweater Weather

ship: buddie pov: third person written: April 10 - 12, 2023 first published: April 12, 2023 word count: 2,569 - summary: Buck wears a sweater almost too often. Eddie notices. - A/N: Pretty much, I have become obsessed with the sweater Buck is wearing at the end of 6x13 and have decided that it's his favorite sweater and he washes it as often as he can so he can wear it as often as he can because it's a comfort for him, because I have a sweater that I do that with so therefore...you get it. Enjoy. <3

Buck has a list. A checklist. After getting struck by lightning– after his coma dream– he felt like he needed to make sure he was still there– still alive. So, every morning when he wakes up the first thing he does is grab his phone and text Bobby. He doesn’t leave his messages until he receives a response. Then, if he has work, he waits until he gets there to ask Eddie and Chim about Christopher, Maddie, and Jee-Yun, respectively. On his off days, however, Buck’s mind scrambles for a bit. Texting Bobby every morning is fine. He texts him all the time anyways just to update him on his life, so him now asking for Bobby to do the same wasn’t too much different. Calling Maddie and Chimney and Eddie, though, is hard to do without someone becoming suspicious. This morning, Buck is lucky.

As Buck blinks open his eyes and stretches in his bed, a small smile appears on his face knowing that some of his checklist he doesn’t have to do. He crawls out of bed, sliding his feet into a pair of slippers as he yawns and stretches some more. He gets up from his bed, grabbing his phone and sending a text to Bobby as he trudges down the stairs. Buck puts his phone into the pocker of his sweats once he reaches the bottom step, looking over to his kitchen where Christopher is sitting at the table with a bowl of cereal already half eaten. Buck smiles, taking a seat next to him and making his own bowl.

“Goodmorning,” Buck says, his voice filled with slip.

“Goodmorning,” Chris says back, taking a bite of his food.

“How long have you been up?”

“Not very long.”

“That’s good,” Buck hums, nodding as he takes his first bite of his own cereal.

“Buck,” Christopher prods, and Buck hums while turning to face him, “isn’t that the same sweater you wore yesterday?”

“Uh…” Buck looks down at his chest, and, yes, it is the same sweater, but—

“How come you didn’t have to change but I did?” Chris asks, and Buck lets out a short laugh.

“Well, buddy, I did change. I changed my pants.”

“But you didn’t change your sweater.

“Yes, I didn’t change my sweater,” Buck says, sighing as he takes another bite. “You are right about that. Now, your dad will be here soon to pick you and your cookies up, so why don’t you go ahead and get ready, alright?”

“Yes, Buck,” Chris sighs, leaving the table and going to where his second bag is in the living room before going to the bathroom with his clothes after.

Buck gets up from the table shortly after, cleaning up both of their bowls then starting the coffee maker. There’s a knock at his door right as he gets it going, so he quickly shouts that he’ll be right there before finishing up. Buck skids over to the door, opening it up instantly to find Eddie standing on the other side, and Buck lets out a breathless smile, and—

(Look, it’s not like Eddie was keeping track. Well, he was, but it was easier to pretend that he wasn’t. So, no, Eddie wasn’t keeping track. He’s not. He just, maybe, kind of, sort of, is. It’s Buck’s fault. Or, if you were to ask Eddie, those would likely be the words out of his mouth and, well, he’s not wrong, but it also wasn’t Eddie’s job to notice…or is it? Buck is the one who came over to Eddie’s house when he wanted to escape his own loft. Buck is the one who went to Eddie as a place of comfort where he knew he would be looked after. So, maybe it is Eddie’s job—)

Eddie is staring at Buck. It’s been seventeen hours since he’d dropped Christopher off with him, and now Buck is wearing the same sweater as when he’d dropped Chris off the evening before. Eddie tilts his head at Buck as the door is opened for him further, stepping inside. He glances back at Buck who has his brows furrowed as his hands fall to rest on his hips. Eddie looks away, letting out a sigh as he steps towards the kitchen, hearing a door open a moment later and turning around to find Christopher dressed and ready coming out of the bathroom.

“Dad!” Christopher shouts, giving his dad a hug.

Buck shuts the door, going to the living room and grabbing both of Christopher’s bags, handing his school bag to Eddie before going to the bathroom. He picks up Chris’s pajamas and stuffs them in the bag before going back to the kitchen, handing that to Eddie, too. Buck then grabs the container of cookies sitting on his kitchen counter, handing them to Chris.

“Alright. Are you ready to go?” Eddie asks, Buck standing against the fridge.

“Ready!” Chris says, giving Buck a hug. “Will you come over later?”

“Of course, bud. I’ll see you later,” Buck says as Chris and Eddie begin to make their way toward the door.

“I love you, Buck! I’ll see you soon!” Chris shouts from the doorway, waving.

“Love you too, kid!” Buck calls after him and returns his wave, giving a big smile.

Buck glances at Eddie who’s staring right back at him, the same grin on his face that Buck has. Eddie gives Buck a nod, and then the door to Buck’s loft shuts and he’s left standing alone in his kitchen. The coffee maker goes off, so he goes and grabs a mug out of the cabinet before filling it. In truth, he’s exhausted. He’s always exhausted now. He’s been sleeping more on shift, but he’s pushing through. Eddie checks on him sometimes, but for the most part he leaves him alone unless necessary. Bobby does the same. If anyone is hovering, it’s Hen and Chim– something Buck will have to call Maddie about later.

After finishing his coffee, Buck goes upstairs to change before deciding to shower. He grabs a pair of jeans and goes to his bathroom, thoroughly ridding himself of any germs garnered from the day before. He spends a considerable amount of time on his hair, lately having taken a liking to his natural curl pattern and wanting to take care of it properly. Once finished, he slips into the jeans then pulls on his sweater, only he doesn’t think anything of it. It’s his sweater. His favorite sweater. A new sweater, sure, but still his favorite.

Buck moseys around his loft for a while, cleaning up random things that he finds. For the first time all week, he makes his bed, smiling at the neatly made comforter and sheets. Then he bounds downstairs, falling onto his couch as he turns on the TV to watch the Dodgers versus Giants game. After a while, though, his eyes start to flutter, and he yawns. He turns the TV down low, hoping that will allow him to fall asleep, but then his body focuses on the feeling of the couch beneath him instead of the game and it’s far from comfortable. Buck groans, rolling off the couch and dragging himself upstairs, falling flat onto his bed. He’s out within seconds.

It’s not until several hours later that Buck wakes up, his loft having become dim with the only light being emitted from his TV downstairs. Buck rubs his eyes, climbing out of bed and going downstairs, sighing once he’s realized he missed the rest of the game. He picks up his phone off the coffee table to check the score when he finds a message and two missed calls from Eddie, along with one voicemail. Buck furrows his brows, the voicemail being the first thing he checks.

“Hey, so I just got Chris from school and we’re on our way home. I figured I’d let you know so you could start making your way over, but…anyway, I’ll see you in a bit. Bye.”

It’s short, sweet, and to the point and– and it fills Buck’s heart. He smiles, pulling the phone away from his ear when a sudden rush of guilt hits him. It’s dark out, which means that he’s late and Chris is likely in bed already. Cursing at himself, Buck quickly slips on a pair of shoes, rushing out of his apartment. He gets in the car and dials Eddie’s phone immediately, but he doesn’t receive an answer. Halfway through his drive over, his phone starts ringing, and he tries grabbing it to answer but it falls to the floor. Buck hits his fist on the wheel, tapping nervously the rest of his way over.

The second Buck gets to Eddie’s house he doesn’t waste a second in getting out of his Jeep and jogging to the front door. He twists the knob and the door opens with ease, and Buck lets out a deep sigh. Eddie pops his head out from the hall, smiling when he sees who it is.

“Hey,” Eddie says, grinning and nodding to the kitchen. “Are you hungry?”

“Uh, no,” Buck says, shaking his head and sitting on the couch. “I take it you just made sure Chris is in bed?”

“Yup,” Eddie says, falling to sit next to Buck. “Sorry I missed your call. I tried calling you back, but you didn’t answer.”

“I was in the car. My phone fell, and I figured the risk of an accident wasn’t worth it.”

“That’s fair,” Eddie says, grabbing a beer off the coffee table and taking a swig. “Do you want one?”

“No, I’m good. I’m sorry for not coming over sooner.”

“It’s fine. After the second call, I figured you were asleep. I take it I was right?”

“I was watching the Dodgers game.”

“You turned your phone off for baseball?”

“What? No, I– I was watching the Dodgers game and I started falling asleep. I went upstairs, fell on my bed, and it was lights out instantly.”

“So I was right.”

“How’d you guess that in the first place?” Buck asks with a tilt of his head.

“You’re still wearing the same sweater as before,” Eddie says, pointing at Buck, and Buck, of course, looks down, sighing when he finds Eddie is right.

“Right,” Buck says, holding his hand out and a second later Eddie’s beer is in his hand.

“So, what’s going on?” Eddie asks, eyes never leaving Buck. He has a soft look on his face, and if this wasn’t such a serious conversation Buck just might smile in return.

“Nothing,” Buck says with a shrug, and Eddie’s eyes narrow on him. “The sweater is comforting for me.”

“Can you explain that?” Eddie asks, and it’s not mean or cruel, but effortlessly kind. It’s easy to see where Chris gets it from.

“Uh, well, it feels– it’s like a hug. Like one big, giant hug, constantly, and if I need a tighter hug I can just tug on it and I’ll feel better. It’s nice. It makes me feel safe.”

“Mmm,” Eddie hums, eyes finally trailing away from Buck and to his TV instead.

“What?” Buck asks, leaning over just a bit, and he can see a smile pull at the corner of Eddie’s mouth.

“Just thinking,” Eddie responds, smile growing more.

“About?” Buck asks, and now the front of Buck’s shoulder is pressing into the side of Eddie’s, the two impossibly close.

“How to make you feel safe no matter what you’re wearing,” Eddie admits as he finally looks at Buck again, and Buck can tell that it’s honest and true.

“Just being here helps,” Buck says, giving Eddie the sweetest smile he can muster.

“You know,” Eddie says, pulling at Buck’s sweater, “it doesn’t look bad on you. In fact, I think you should wear sweaters more often.”

“You think so?” Buck asks, and oh, are their faces close.

“Dad?” They hear from the hall, slowly breaking apart.

“Yeah, bud?” Eddie asks, getting up from the couch.

“You forgot my glass of water,” Chris says, and Buck smiles at the comfort it brings him.

“Want me to get it?” Buck asks, and Eddie turns to look at him, about to protest when Chris lights up with joy.

“Buck!”

“Buck—” Eddie cuts himself off, running a hand over his face.

“Sorry,” Buck says, giving Christopher a hug. “I’m getting you your water and then it’s off to bed, alright? Dad and I were having a very important conversation.”

“Yes, sir!” Chris says with a big grin, and Buck smiles and laughs, going right to the kitchen. He grabs a cup with a straw and a lid and fills it up with ice water, bringing it back to Chris in under a minute.

“There. I’m sorry I didn’t get here sooner, but I’ll see you in the morning, alright?”

“Goodnight, Buck,” Chris yawns, giving Buck another hug before going back down the hall.

“Goodnight, Christopher,” Buck whispers once he’s already halfway down the hall, lingering in the doorway a moment before falling back onto the couch, his head falling into Eddie’s lap.

Both of Eddie’s hands immediately come to comb through Buck’s hair, detangling any mess that there is. Yeah, Buck thinks, I feel safe here. It’s not a question at all, but a mere fact. Being at Eddie’s house, on Eddie’s couch, in Eddie’s arms– all of it feels safe. He feels like nothing can hurt him as long as he’s confined within the walls of Eddie’s home, and that’s something that he could really use as of late.

“So,” Eddie starts, one of his hands trailing away from Buck’s hair, resting on his chest instead, “you’re planning on staying the night?”

“If that’s alright,” Buck responds, his own hand coming to hold Eddie’s in its place.

That was new. Since getting struck by lightning– since dying– Eddie has constantly reached out for Buck, keeping him close, and when they’re alone placing his hand on his heart just to make sure that it’s still there and still beating. It’s when Eddie’s hand trails away, though, that things are weird, because it’s never the same. Tonight is no different, Eddie looking at Buck as he moves his hand away from Buck’s chest and rather to caress his cheek.

“You’re still here,” Eddie whispers, his voice barely audible.

“I’m still here,” Buck assures, hand still wrapped around Eddie’s. “We’re still here.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says, properly interlocking his and Buck’s hands, “we are.”

“You should get to bed,” Buck says, sitting up, but Eddie only pulls him closer, Buck’s back falling flush against Eddie’s chest.

“So should you,” Eddie says, wrapping his arms around Buck’s middle.

“Eddie…” Buck sighs, turning his head away, as if that would change their current positions.

“You said that just being here is a comfort,” Eddie whispers into Buck’s ear, clocking the reaction Buck has, “so why not see if I can comfort you more?”

“How?” Buck asks, and he already knows the answer, but– god, Eddie doesn’t know what he’s doing.

“Just let me hold you. You were tense until my fingers landed in your hair before, so I have to assume that means that me touching you helps, right? So let me hold you,” Eddie pleas, and Buck melts against him immediately, rolling around in his place to hug Eddie’s torso.

“Thank you,” Buck whispers, and Eddie doesn’t give a verbal response, simply holding Buck tighter. I love you so much.

#buddie #evan buckley/eddie diaz #evan buckley #evan buck buckely #eddie diaz #edmundo eddie diaz #edmundo diaz #domestic buddie #buckley diaz family #christopher diaz #pre relationship #ficlet #9 1 1 fanfiction #9 1 1 on fox #9 1 1 #9 1 1 fic #9 1 1 buddie #9 1 1 show #sweater

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