I. Hurt.
And I was hurting anyway, I'm pretty down this morning, but this hurt came from an outside source, and affected me in a way I'd honestly not have expected.
See, we bought Nimona last week. After seeing the movie, my kids wanted to read it. And I ended up reading ahead, and I just finished it.
Bonus content at the end, it said, and I was like, oh, an epilogue to the epilogue maybe? That'd be nice. I don't love bittersweet endings, I'd rather...
...no, it's not the conclusion.
It's CHRISTMAS.
In a book that'd had no religion that I noticed up to that point, BOTH bonus extras...were Christmas.
Ya know, usually it doesn't bother me. Usually I just suck it up. I think it helps that I was raised around mostly Jews and people who, if Christian, it didn't matter much to them. I'm from the Upper West Side of Manhattan, the descendent of Lower East Side immigrants, and while the world outside was brutal - my grandfather was a World War 2 veteran and among the soldiers who liberated Dachau, I can't remember a time when I didn't know that most people would look the other way if people like me were slaughtered wholesale - my bubble was safe, we were accepted, we were insiders.
I honestly can't think of another time I've interacted with a piece of media and felt so immediately, instantly knocked across the face by OUTSIDER as I just did when I excitedly turned the page to see what these fun extra bonuses were...and it was fucking Christmas.
I didn't even read them.
I'm honestly. So disappointed.
I don't have a thick armor for this kind of hurt. I'm Jewish, and as an adult living outside my old UWS bubble, that's often meant I've felt like an outlier, but I've hardly ever had this feeling where I was welcome to something only to be suddenly, violently shoved out the door.
And I've heard nothing, n.o.t.h.i.n.g. but praise for this book. And on another day, it might not have bothered me. I've never really felt like I had to fight to be seen, especially since I'm tremendously secular. I mean, I've celebrated Christmas my entire life, for starters.
But why. Why was this fantasy setting suddenly Christian? Why was this the touted extra content? Why is THIS special, when the areligious world established to that point was apparently not special enough?
I can't say yet if this ruined the story for me. It's far too soon. But I'm *intensely*, viscerally let down, and...I hurt.
Christians...maybe stop doing this shit.
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Genuinely don’t mean this as a complaint about anyone doing this individually but I do kind of wish various dunmeshi characters (mostly but not exclusively Laios) weren’t referred to as “freaks” as often as they are online.
IK it’s mostly meant in a fond way but it still feels kinda judgemental/distancing sometimes and I’m simply not interested in acting like I’m not a big fan of all the weird things going on in dunmeshi. I want to embrace it and enjoy it, not pretend like it’s something I’m observing at arm’s length. I’m sorry gamers but the truth is I’m not shaking my head with a fond but bemused expression on my face every time Laios gets intense about some monster thing. I’m hooting & hollering. I think he should be even weirder about it, actually. Okay maybe not that but hopefully you get my point.
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okay i’ve been supportive of a lot of changes the pjo tv series has made but i do think the opening scene in crusty’s felt… off?
like i think them being self aware when it comes to medusa or the lotus flowers makes a lot of sense, but polycrustes feels a little more obscure. so them going in unaware and being tricked makes sense there! and i think they still could have played it with making crusty’s the entrance to the underworld
they go in, not really sure why the entrance to the underworld is in a water bed store (also on that note, do we know where they learn that?), but on edge bc like. it can’t just be that easy. n then them nearly getting tricked and crusty revealing who he is then is just more satisfying
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I think modern au Zhu SHOULD be the lesbian best friend trope to Ouyang except that its because this man is her pet project and gODDDAMIT she's gonna FIX him she's gonna MAKE him be BETTER she's going to SOLVE EVERYTHING and he will RESPECT HER (she is actively making him worse). She has a whole complex about it and everything. She has based a part of her identity on dragging this man up from his toxic funk and is fully convinced that if she tries hard enough he will eventually come to his senses and be an equal participant in this relationship. They have a terrible wonderful toxic loving codependent relationship that's neither a romance nor a friendship nor a rivalry but a secret fourth thing.
Predictably, this does not go well. The character arcs would be Zhu learning she can't fix a sinking ship and letting Ouyang fail by himself, and Ouyang learning to not be a shit person, actually, and coming out of his bubble of self-centeredness and working on himself instead of unloading his emotional labor onto the people around him. And they should both get to develop a healthier relationship with each other than what they had in canon bc queer solidarity is great and its even better when it's in the shape of some weird bullshit some gay people built out of the corpse parts of heteronormative romance (affectionate and completely unironic)
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I finally reached the first Wheel of Time book co-written by Brandon Sanderson, and maybe I'm crazy but it feels extremely obvious which parts were predominantly written by each author.
Also I got to the first Mat chapter and it feels like Brando Sando doesn't get his character at all.
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I don't like to follow bookstagram trends but I find one super interesting (it's definitely NOT reading a popular bookstagram book).
I'm currently working on creating a box to randomly pick the next book I read. I have hopes to lower my tbr, well with my erratic reading sessions and me ordering second hand books cause I can buy more, it's gonna be a harsh task. Also it's gonna helping me read the books I bought to step out my comfort zone and then I ignored them. But also books that are in my comfort zone but have been here for year. And since my apartment is very small, yet 1/3 books if I avoid the same book lot of time, I will get rid of it.
BUT
While crafting this at past 10pm in the middle of the working week cause I needed to do it now (didn't finish considering the numbers of unread books I read), I have been struck by a sudden illumination.
Maybe, and really maybe, it's a hypothesis, I could apply the jar stuff for the daily stuff I have to do, chores, administrative paperwork, everything a normal human adult has to do. Maybe I could pick a task to do every day and it feels less overwhelming. I definitely need to try it.
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