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equallyshaw · 4 months

Note

(i might do a blurb on his pov during those lost years)

YES!! i love seeing other povs!!

this takes place during 2018 christmas, june 2019 & summer 2023!

warnings: swearing! jack being immature lmao

send in more thoughts pls!!

everything that kailey did, annoyed the absolute crap out of jack. luke nor quinn had ever understood why, and jack never wanted to explain why. this christmas in particular was difficult, and missing a cherished member of the hughes family. kailey had been having a difficult time in highschool thus far, her sophomore year with luke. she decided that she was gonna fly up to upstate new york, to get away and be in a different environment. and truth be told, while she was dealing with bullies at school she was also dealing with a bully at home, and could never escape them.

☆

christmas 2018-

it was the day before christmas eve, and quinn had just flown in while kailey was flying out. he got into jims car and he could sense that something was wrong or off, "whats going on dad?" he questioned, nervous that it had to do with kailey. and he was right. "kails went to go visit my folks in upstate new york. she'll be back on the 2nd." he said and quinns eyebrows crinkled. "she's- she's having a really hard time at school and we already know that jack isn't helping. id rather ship him off if he didn't have practice." jim muttered and quinn sighed. "what is wrong with him? I've already spoken to him a lot this summer and he still isn't getting it." quinn said pulling out his phone to text kailey, "you're mom has about had it." jim said getting onto the expressway.

as soon as quinn walked in, he quickly went to go find jack who was with luke downstairs. "what the hell is wrong with you?!" quinn asked turning the tv off. "hey!" both younger brothers exclaimed, and quinn shook his head. "what is wrong with you jack, huh? why do you keep driving kails away!" quinn demanded but jack rolled his eyes, standing up. "no!" quinn said pushing him back on the couch, "tell me right now why our baby sister had to fucking flee because of you!" quinn exasperated, while luke stayed silent. luke knew exactly why.

jack shook his head, "do you not realize how bad it is at school? do you not realize the amount of bullying she gets, for you to only add to it here? what is supposed to be her safe place, is not!" quinn fumed and jack sighed. "if you don't say, i know luke will tell me exactly what i need to know. im giving you a chance to come clean." quinn said standing his ground. jack was silent, "what is it?!" quinn screamed one last time.

jack sighed once more, "its always about her, kailey this kailey that, when is it my turn?" he questioned and by the look on quinns face, you thought he was about to kill his brother. "seriously? you're jealous of your sister? you're jealous of somebody who doesn't play hockey, doesn't skate, plays her own sports and gets bullied? you're jealous of your sister who does whatever she can to blend in? are you stupid?" quinn said angrily. luke rolled his eyes, "he's just upset because mom and dad make sure that they are there for everything of hers. he's upset that she has more freedom, and gets the most support out of the two of us." luke butted in and jack glared at him. "you're an idiot, an absolute buffoon jack. last time i checked, you chose this. you chose to play hockey." quinn said shaking his head. "you are the reason why you guys moved here. she may be upset at that fact, but she's moved on from it. you give her so many reasons to not like you - but shes a better person because she still wants to do right by you. she wants to prove to you that she can be a good sister. do you not realize how much shit she puts up with from you, because she wants you to be her friend at the end of the day? and don't deny it, but i heard about the 'she's literally just a roommate' comment to the boys." quinn finished, before looking at luke. "i expect more from you luke, i expect you to stand up more to this idiot." he finished before walking upstairs to find his mom. he had a plane to catch to new york.

☆

june 2019- nhl draft.

kailey wanted to be anywhere but here. yet, her parents and quinn had convinced her to come to vancouver with the family. kailey would do everything in her power, to not stand out because she couldn't step out of line or else jack would throw a fit. it had been hard the past few months, but she kept assuring herself that she wouldn't have to put up with him for much longer. ellen pulled her daughter into a hug the morning of the draft, as kailey began to sob. kailey had been experiencing anxiety attacks for a while at that point and only her and luke knew about them. this morning she woke up in a panic, as soon as the alarm went off. she called her mom in a panic, from the next room door and she quickly rushed over. "i - i cant do it, i cant i wont i wont." she sobbed into her mom's chest. ellen rubbed her hand over her daughter's back, holding on as tightly as she could. but she knew that if she didn't give jack the attention is so craved, she'd also never hear the end of that. "i cant mom, i cant!" she exasperated, pulling away and sitting down on the bed. ellen sat down across from her on the extra bed, waiting for her daughter to say something. "im sorry, i cant do it. i cant support somebody that tears me down every chance he gets. i literally breathe and he finds an issue with it. im over it, im not making my self physically sick anymore." she said beginning to cry again. ellen and jim could never say or do enough to get him to stop, and none of the boys would say why exactly he had done what he'd done. they'd had it with him, taking away things and grounding him but none of it did a damn thing.

ellen had a sneaky suspicion of what it was, but would not hear the truth for awhile longer.

the family had just finished getting ready and were in jack's suite, filming as well. kailey on the other hand was in her bathroom, sitting on the tile floor puking her guts out. she had made herself so physically ill the whole day, and this was the only way for her body to dismiss it. quinn knocked on the door with luke before walking in, and realized that the room was empty. luke knocked on the door, and he quickly whipped it open when he heard gagging. "oh my god!" he said kneeling down in front of her, pulling her hair back as she puked. she sat back against the bath tub and the boys took in how hollow her eyes were. her skin pale, and exhaustion plagued her features. "whats going on?" luke asked pulling her against his chest. she shrugged, as quinn texted their mom. her eyes began to refill with tears, as luke pulled her in as close as possible. "i cant go. i wont allow myself to." she whispered for only luke to hear. "he doesn't deserve my support, anymore. i cant support somebody who doesn't love me or even like me." she said louder and quinn picked it up. he left the bathroom and room, and headed over to the suit that his parents and jack were in. as soon as he walked in jack smirked, "wheres the drama queen?" he mused, making sure his tie looked good. "she's sick." was all quinn said leaning against the wall next to ellen. ellen looked over at him, and she could tell what she was exactly sick with. "sick? i doubt that. she just needs the attention on her." jack said cockily, and quinn could kill him right there he thought. or, one chance to take a swing at him. "lukes with her?" ellen questioned, and quinn nodded. ellen walked out of the suite and walked over towards kaileys.

luke wiped kaileys tears, and smoothed down her wavy hair with his other hand. she had finally reached the end of her effort, she didn't have it in her to support the brother who always thought of her as less than. her personal bully had won, and was getting rewarded for it that day.

☆

spring 2023- may

quinn looked over at jack, who was busy typing away on his phone. quinn had just gotten back from brunch with kailey in detroit, and he was relieved to see how kailey was doing after her sophomore year of college. she had just gotten back from study abroad and had absolutely adored her time there. she had also spoken about how she was thinking about doing a semester at sea but wasn't exactly thrilled about the cost. but quinn wouldn't hear it, he was gonna make his baby sister as happy as he could, and make up for the lost years.

"listen, youre gonna help me do something for kails." quinn announced, without giving jack a choice. jack looked up from his phone, and gave him a 'wtf' look. "yeah right." jack said, returning to his phone. "no! you're gonna do this with me asshole. you are gonna make up for the lost years. you are gonna do right by kails, and you're gonna do this with me. she deserves to be happy, you didn't see how happy she was today. i haven't seen that big of a smile since we lived in canada man. i haven't see her so content. and you are not gonna fuck this up." quinn explained, and jack set his phone down while sitting up.

"why would i help her? last time i checked she doesn't speak to me or support me." he said like it was obvious. quinn rolled his eyes, "if you weren't so thick in the skull you'd realize just how much she supports you and how much she wants you to be happy. y'know she keeps up with all your stats, and watched games with luke this season. she asks me and luke all the time how you're doing, and whats going on with your life. maybe if you'd give her the time of day, she'd open up to you and she'd show you how much she loves you. these past three years away from you has given her perspective and grace, and you don't deserve any grace. but that's who she is, always looking for the benefit of the doubt and ever the optimistic person." quinn paused, "you're gonna be a nice brother and play the part, and you're gonna do this with me." quinn said not taking no for an answer. "she has no idea that were doing this, so don't give me the "shes gonna expect more of this." but you know deep down that she isn't that person. mom and dad didn't raise her to be that way, so wipe that thought." quinn said with intuition, knowing what was going on in jack's mind.

jack sighed, "what is it for?" and quinn smiled. "semester at sea. she wants to go to europe and asia, for the spring semester. we still have time to pay for it. she got accepted but was gonna decline when she saw the final amount after scholarships and financial aid, etc." quinn said pulling up the email he got from ellen. after he left brunch, he headed over to his parent's house to talk to them. they were more than elated that quinn wanted to do this for her because let's be honest. she deserves the absolute world.

a week later.

"quinn?" kailey called out after stepping into her parents house. she had received a text from quinn if she could meet her there, that afternoon. what she did not expect, was to see jack there with quinn. they two were in the living room, hanging out with everybody. "hey sweetie, come here!" ellen said patting the spot next to her. kailey eyed jack, as she walked over to the couch. he hadn't seen her in three years almost, and she had changed. changed for the better of course. "yes?" she questioned as the family looked at quinn and jack with smiles. "we wanted to do something for you, kails." quinn began. "think of it as a token of our brotherly love." jack said and quinn elbowed him, "you're in on this?" she questioned jack. jack swallowed hard and nodded, "umm." she said not sure how to respond. "here." quinn said standing up and handing her the envelope. it was a confirmation slip for the semester at sea and a flight to europe for docking. she took the envelope, and opened it up slowly. she saw the ticket before the confirmation slip, "oh my god? oh my god!" she said standing up and freaking out. her eyes filled with tears of gratitude, and hugged quinn. "thankyou thankyou thankyou." she said into quinns chest, and the family only laughed in response. "oh my god, i could cry." she said pulling back and looking up at her brother. "don't cry kails, it isn't necessary." he said and she shook her head. "ill repay you guys i promise! it might take awhile after graduation, but ill get there!" she said looking between jack and quinn, but they shook their head. "no! you arent repaying us a dime. we want to do it for you, we have the ability to so you don't need to worry." jack finally spoke up. worry was her middle name when it came to jackson.

"dont worry blondie, you deserve the opportunity to go, so you're going." quinn added and kailey frowned. "alright." she said softly before luke stood up and wrapped his arms around his sister. "you're gonna have to text me every day, send me all the pictures in the world. im gonna have huge fomo." luke mused and quinn second that. "come here." quinn said wrapping his arms around the other side of the girl, and she felt the weight of them. "god ii swear to god if you make me fall over." she said as the two boys laughed. quinn waved jack over, and jack fought with himself. he didn't know what to do. "get over here princess." kailey announced, and jack sighed standing up.

ellen snapped a quick picture of the four's group hug. ellen and jim looked at one another thinking the same thing, they hoped that this was the beginning of a new chapter between kailey and jack. and hoped that jack wouldn't screw it up.

hope you enjoyed!!!

also quinn and luke to the rescue 🥺

#jack hughes #luke hughes #quinn hughes #connor bedard x k hughes au #star crossed lovers au #new jersey devils #vancouver canucks

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ms-rampage · 4 years

Text

Eden's Gate: Kidnapped Chapter 13 - Mother

word count: 2,553

warnings: Mild violence, some swearing, angst, some fluff towards the end, family reuniting type of tears, talks of demon possession (foreshadowing for next series)

I'm officially on the Kate and Wheaty ship train 😭😭❤

FLASHBACK

14 YEARS EARLIER

June 2006

Salt Lake City, Utah

"When do you think mom's coming home?" 7 year old Kate asks 11 year old Paige who is serving her instant ramen.

"I don't know, she's usually out hunting late" she replies.

"I hate it when she's not here" Kate says looking down, playing with her noodles.

"I know, I hate it too" Paige says, serving herself. She sits down, and as she’s about to eat.

They get a knock at their motel door, Paige quickly looks up, and turns off the lights.

She moves Kate onto the floor under the table, and reaches for the shotgun her mother gave her to protect herself and Kate.

They get another knock on the door this time more aggressive.

"I know you're in there Winchester" a male voice says.

The doorknob turns aggressively, and he starts to bang on the door.

"Open the fucking door" he demands.

"Stay here" she whispers to Kate.

Paige stands up holding the shotgun aiming it at the door, she tries to make herself sound like a threat but she’s actually terrified.

"Who is it?' she says loudly,

"Where's Mandy?" he yells.

"She's not here" she yells back.

He then throws himself at the door, she looks back at Kate who is on the urge of tears.

"Go away!!!" Paige yells at him.

"What are you gonna do about little girl?" he says, making shivers going down her spine

"You come in and you're fucking dead" she says, cocking the shotgun.

He laughs maniacally and says "You're not gonna kill anyone little girl".

He continues to throw himself at the door, and he eventually breaks it down.

Sees Paige aiming a shotgun at him, Kate hiding under the table.

He scoffs at her "Really, you're a child" he grabs the shotgun out of her hands and tosses it to the floor.

The man he’s about 5’10-6’0, bald with a pedophile mustache, 250-270 pounds with a beer belly.

"Where's Mandy?" he yells, grabbing her hair and pulling on it.

She reaches in her back pocket and slices his hand with her hunting knife.

He screams in pain clenching his hand, letting go of her hair pushing her to the ground dropping her knife.

She runs to the shotgun but gets shoved into the wall, a framed photo falls on her head in the process. The glass cutting her forehead.

He turns to Kate, lifts the table and throws it out of the way.

Making Kate scream and roll up into a ball.

Paige gets up, grabs her knife and tackles him before he can get his hands on her, and stabs him in the throat killing him.

His blood getting on her hands, the floor and on the bed.

His body drops hard to the floor, he twitches and dies of blood loss.

They both sit there in shock, Kate rolled up in the corner of the room crying her eyes out.

Paige sits there on the floor looking at the blood on her hands.

She's never killed anyone before but she knew what she had too.

He was gonna do Chuck knows what to her little sister, and it was her job to protect her whenever their mother wasn't around.

After what felt like hours the sound of their mother's voice echoes from down the hall.

"Girls!!!!!" she yells out from the hallway.

When she gets to the doorway, Kate stands up and runs to her.

"Mommy" she says, still crying, hugging her.

She looks over at Paige.

"What happened?" she asks.

"I killed him, he was-he was gonna hurt us" she answers, still in shock and looking motionless. "Did you let him in?" she asks. Their mom was very very strict about letting strangers into their room whenever she wasn’t around.

She shakes her head "He burst in, looking for you".

Mandy walks over to the body, and sees his face

"Shit" she whispers.

"Get your stuff, we have to get out of here" she says in a panicked tone.

They grab all their stuff and go to their car. They pack it up, and drive down the road away from that town.

END OF FLASHBACK

“Kate!?!?!?!?” Paige yells in shock over the gunfire, and screaming.

“Come on, we're getting you out of here” Kate says.

Wheaty comes into her cage to help her up.

“Wheaty??!?!?” Paige says.

“Come on, we’re getting out of here!!” he yells, as him and Kate help her up.

Eli, and a bunch of other Whitetails shoot at Jacob’s men, killing them.

They help her into the backseat of the truck, Ryan goes into the truck with them.

Eli jumps into the driver seat, and Paige doesn’t see her but Mandy gets into the passenger seat.

Jacob watches from the balcony of the Veteran’s Centre as the truck that took Paige drives off.

Paige feeling lightheaded, she puts her hands on her head.

“Hey you okay?” Kate asks.

Paige looks at everyone disoriented. It takes her a few minutes to recognize everyone in the truck, she still doesn’t realize her mother is sitting in the passenger seat.

Her mind finally goes clear, and she looks over at Kate. Tears fall down her cheeks, and she pulls her in for a tight embrace.

She looks at everyone. Kate, Eli, Wheaty and Ryan.

“Thanks you guys” she says, with tears running down her face.

She looks over at the woman sitting in the front seat, and thanks her too.

“Thanks to you too. Militia lady”

She turns her head, and says “Don’t you recognize your own mother!?”.

“Mom!?!?!?!” she yells out, making Eli jump.

She hugs her from behind the seat.

She’s crying even more now. She’s finally out of that shit hole, she can finally see her family again, and better yet she has her mom back.

She asks the same questions Kate asked her earlier that day.

Kate gets a phone call from Kenny.

Paige looks and sees that Kenny is calling her.

Her heart completely skips several beats.

“Do you wanna talk to him?” Kate asks her.

She hesitates, “No I want to surprise him”.

She answers the phone, and puts it on speaker.

“Hey Kenny” Kate says calmly.

“Kate!, where are you!?!!??” he asks frantically.

“I told you, I had to deal with a personal issue” she responds.

Paige tries holding back tears, as she hears her husband's voice.

“Yeah, you said that already. Did you go to the VC??” he asks.

“No, I didn’t” she lies. “Why?”.

“Nate told me there was a break in” he says.

“Really?? When??” she lies again. Kate is really good at lying.

“I don’t know like 10-15 minutes ago” he says. “Where are you??"

"I’m at the Wolf's Den”

“Why are you at the Wolf's Den?” he asks suspiciously.

“You’ll find out when I get home” she says, and she hangs up her phone.

“Who’s Kenny?” Mandy asks.

“That’s my husband” Paige says.

Mandy snaps her head back and looks at her.

“When did you get married?” she asks.

“April of last year” she responds. “Hell you even have a granddaughter”

The look of despair on Mandy’s face. She turns her head forward, and looks out the window.

She never even tried to contact her daughters.

If she did, she would’ve been able to attend Paige’s wedding, be there at the birth of her daughter and be there to meet her son in law.

They make it back to the wolves' den, and Paige eyes light up, and immediately jumps out of the truck the second she sees the Impala.

She runs to it, and hugs it as if it were her child.

“She loves that car” Kate says to Wheaty and Ryan.

Kate puts her hand on her shoulder, and says.

“There’s a lot we need to talk about” and without hesitation.

Paige opens her shirt, and rolls up her sleeves revealing her sins.

“Yeah, I know. John Seed told me a lot about you two” she says this, and goes into the bunker.

Kate sighs, and follows her inside.

The second Kate steps into the first room, Paige doesn’t lash out at her. She just sounds extremely disappointed.

“So you and temper tantrum Seed were in a relationship?”

Kate sighs, and says. “Yeah, we dated. We dated for 9-10 months. When I moved out here back in 2018”.

“How did you two even hook up?” she asks.

“He saved me” she says.

Confused, Paige says “He saved you??”.

“Yeah, he saved one night when I got off of work”

“What happened?” she asks curiously.

“I got jumped, I was able to hold the guy off, but he punched him in the face, and that’s when John came out of nowhere, and he beat up the guy”.

Paige looks at Kate confused.

She stumbles over her words, “So- so John, he- he has a soft spot for you?”

Kate shrugs, “Yeah basically when I finished my time at the University, and I graduated. I did stick around for a while. And that's when.” she stops speaking and turns away.

“And that's when what??” she asks. “Kate!? That's when what happened?”.

She turns to face her, and says softly. “He got possessed by a demon”

Paige’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?!”

She nods her head “Yeah, he was possessed by Saleos”.

“And another demon by the name of Merihem attacked my friends while they were on a camping trip, putting 3 of them in the hospital”.

Paige looks down at the ground, those names she knows she’s heard them somewhere.

Kate rolls up her sleeves, and shows Paige her tattoos.

“Those are your tattoos” she says, telling her as if she were a child.

“All my tattoos cover my sins. John, who was possessed by Saleos, forced him to have me atone.”

“What about Merihem?” Paige asks.

“I killed him. He was possessing the man who jumped me, and I killed him. Along with the demon”.

“So John knows about what we do?” she asks.

She nods her head “Yes”.

“You fucked up another one” Paige jokes. They both laugh.

Mandy walks in and says

“So? How are my girls doing?”

“Well I have a bone to pick with you as well” Paige says to Mandy.

“Jacob told me that you and Joseph Seed were involved with each other years ago.”

She closes her eyes and lets out sigh.

“Yes, Joseph and I were involved with each other. But it's not what you think. You see I was working as a double agent for the Whitetails”

“Jacob also said that, and supposedly Joseph had some of his followers kill you. And clearly you’re not dead unless I’m on drugs”

“Yeah, Joseph did feel betrayed by me because he wanted me to be The Mother of Eden's Gate”.

Paige and Kate both look at each other in confusion.

“Wow, so basically all 3 of us were involved with the Seed brothers in some way” Paige says. “Because you *points to Kate* you were romantically involved with John, and you *points to Mandy* you were involved in a work kind of way with Joseph, and I was kidnapped by Jacob, and he wanted me to be a part of his army, and I’m also 100% sure he wanted to fuck me”

They all share a laugh, and spend the next 20-30 minutes catching up.

Kate gets up and goes to get a drink.

Wheaty walks in a few moments later.

“Hey” he says to her.

“Hey” she responds with a smile.

“You’re sister, she just looks different” he tells her.

She nods her head, and says “Yeah, I can’t imagine what Jacob did to her”.

“All the shit he put her through in the last few months”.

“Your sister is strong. From what Ryan told me. Jacob tormented her, he pushed her until she broke, and she never did. And what really set her off, is that Jacob mentioned her daughter, and she went ballistic”.

She does a little side smile, and says “Yeah I can imagine that. And yeah without a doubt Paige is very strong mentally and physically. She took care of me, protected me throughout our whole lives, and she owns up to it”.

They both lean against the kitchen counter for a few minutes.

Kate sighs, and steps forward, standing in front of Wheaty.

“I just wanted to thank you, Eli and Tammy for helping my family. If Paige would’ve stayed there a little longer, I’m pretty sure she would be dead”

“I’m glad Eli, Tammy and I could help” he says, pushing himself off the wall.

Standing in front of her.

Kate hugs him, and he is taken aback by it. He hugs her back, and they stay like that for a few minutes.

She pulls away from their hug, and looks up at him.

And without any hesitation, she kisses him.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, he places his hands on her hips, pulling her closer to him.

After a few minutes of kissing, Eli walks in on them and awkwardly clears his throat.

Kate breaks their kiss, and looks back at Eli.

Feeling like a teenager getting caught for making out with a guy by their parents or older sibling.

“I’ll just get this, and leave” he says, grabbing something off the counter, and awkwardly leaves the kitchen.

They stand there for a few minutes laughing at what just happened.

A few moments later Kate, and Wheaty go back into the main room with the others.

Mandy, Paige and Kate leave the bunker, and head home to Holland Valley.

They all say their goodbyes, they have all their stuff, they put everything in the car,

and Mandy of course makes Paige take the passenger, and she drives the Impala just like the old days, when Kate and Paige were children.

She starts up the car, the sound of the engine rumbling is like music to Paige’s ears.

She leans forward, turns on the radio, trying to find a station that’ll play some good rock music, and of course a great classic.

Turn The Page by Metallica (cover) plays on the radio, and they drive home.

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fluidityandgiggles · 5 years

Text

Sleep Is For The Weak - Chapter 17

Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 5, Chapter 10, Chapter 15, Last Chapter

Writing Masterlist - for previous chapters not otherwise linked, Read on AO3

Notes (I guess): Happy school year in two weeks, folks.

Not gonna lie, I actually had a plan for this chapter, and then forgot it. So... yeah, not the most cohesive or best chapter, but I got it out, and it’s nice, and I like it this way because it’s a break from the wave of panic attacks and mild transphobia the last chapter or two.

Yes, I’m back home now, and I’m doing actually much better mentally and physically than I have since September till June. But the chapters are gonna take a while longer to write from now on, because I’m about to join the scary world of job searching for the unstable ADHD brain, not to mention being involved in three regular ttrpg campaigns (where I play a halfling sorcerer, and a half-elf bard, and also DM the third one), so... my brain is busy. But I promise this fic isn’t going on hiatus! I’m still extremely dedicated and excited to be writing this fic. I love it so much. Honest.

As per every chapter, thanks go to @whatwashernameagain for KHS and for generally being a wonderful human, to @broadwaytheanimatedseries for putting up with my fangirl-levels of excitement over everything (and coming up with the original idea), to @winglessnymph, @asleepybisexual and @anony-phangirl - who, while I know they’ve all fallen out of the loop, continue to have long-lasting effects on this fic as a whole - and new to this list, to @ilovemygaydad, who I’ve asked to beta this fic for me and I hope they’d have time for that starting with the next chapter.

Happy start of college and good luck, my darling dear child. I love you.

Tag list (sort of): @bunny222, @ab-artist, @sweet-and-sour-shadowling, @your-username-is-unavailable, @virgilcrofters, @violetblossem, @maybe-i-like-the-misery, @book-of-charlie, @thatsanswitch, @thatrandomautist, @thebiggestgaypirate, @marshmallow-the-panda

(Wanna be tagged? Lemme know!)

Trigger warning: period appropriate transphobia (the early 00s were not exactly trans-friendly). This chapter is light on the transphobia, but includes aphobia, deadnaming, panphobia (yes, pansexuality was a term in the early 00s, as I learned just half an hour ago) and vague mentions of child abuse.

—————

Sunday, July 27th, 2003

Incoming call: 218-357-5555

"Ye—"

"Remy? I didn't forget your number? Oh good!"

"...Emile?"

"Yeah?"

"...what's this phone number, darling?"

"Oh! Yeah, I… my phone died, so I got a new one! Sorry I didn't tell you sooner… but, umm, I'm gonna get to the point, yeah okay, happy birthday!"

"Thank… you…? Em, you shouldn't have—"

"Ah, but see, that's where you're wrong! Because I had to, because I said that I have to! You're my best friend in the whole world, what kind of friend would I be if I didn't at least call you to say happy birthday?"

"You're precious, darling."

"Thank you! Oh, did you get my gift yet? I sent it to you in the mail last month! Did you—"

"I did, it was… well, it was unexpected, I'd give you that. Where did you even find a Jack mug anyway?"

"Disneyland…?"

"...you know what, that's fair."

"Yeah! So, happy birthday! I'll be in Manhattan next week, so like… do you wanna go see a show or something…? I haven't seen the Gypsy revival yet…"

"...it's a date, then. But you're paying."

"Yes, yes of course! It's gonna be alright, okay? You trust me?"

"With my life."

"Yay! Okay, okay, umm… yeah. I miss you! Happy birthday!"

"Thank—"

"I gotta go right now at this second it's my cousin's bat mitzvah in two days and I need to get my suit and everything but I'll call you tomorrow evening too okay?"

"Sure… have fun, darling."

"Thank you! Okay, bye!"

—————

"India M—"

"Why didn't you tell me Emile has a new number? I cannot fucking believe you!"

"He wanted to do it himself, peach. On your birthday."

"Okay… okay, I guess that's fair…"

"Happy birthday, too."

"Thanks, mom…"

"So… how'd you spend the week?"

"Nothing big happened… my dad took me to see Nina West last night. It was the fucking best."

"I'll bet. Did you have fun?"

"So much fun! She's fan-fucking-tastic. Honestly. I'd give anything for her to either do me or spare a bit of her funny to me."

"Wow… gay much?"

"Shut up."

"Don't worry, it's fine. I still need to take Jenna to a drag show sometime. Did anyone hit on you…?"

"You'll be surprised how many people hit on my dad, actually. But no. I actually broke up with Chris today because of this."

"Oh? Do tell."

"It wasn't… much. He called me a couple hours ago to say happy birthday, which is fine if you ask me but I just… it ended in him trying to talk me into not talking to Emile again. And that's normal, okay, ain't something I can't handle. But he said ‘sure he's asexual, when he isn't spreading his legs to everyone he's asexual'."

"...did he seriously think he can get away with it?"

"India, no—"

"I don't give a fuck anymore, peach. I'm not going to beat him up, you have nothing to worry about, I just… this shit is so fucking infuriating!"

"I know. But hey, look at the bright side. Ulysses and Mandy said they'll take over next year, I'm gonna let them know. He won't be back."

"That's… that's true. I'll call Mandy later. Don't worry about it. Just… what then?"

"Then I told him that it wasn't his choice, he didn't choose any of it, so he said ‘just like you couldn't choose to stay a girl, Rebecca'."

"...oh yeah. Yeah, definitely. I'm telling Mandy. She'll deck him for sure next time she sees him."

"Thanks, mom. I just… I so wanted to deck him right then! So I gave him a piece of my mind, broke up with him and hung up and deleted his number. Now we wait and see what's gonna happen."

"Good boy. I taught you well."

"Thanks… again… he also said that asexuality isn't real, and—"

"I'm flying down to Texas right now to sock him. I took karate for three years. I can do this."

"India, no… hon. Babe. You need to get settled in DC. You need to—"

"I'm buying the plane tickets right now, Remy! Watch me!"

"—You need to get your life together and get your master's degree. You do not, however, need to go break the nuts of someone who doesn't deserve your attention—"

"Who's the older and wiser one of us?"

"Right now? Not you. You told me this very thing when I wanted to kill that asshole who made a joke out of Emmy, I'm telling you this now. Don't."

"...fine. But if I ever do get the opportunity, I'm doing it."

"Good for you."

"Nobody plays my kids dirty like that."

"You go, mom."

"I will! Oh shit, I have to go!"

"What? Why—"

"I forgot Jenna's parents are coming over today and I need to go pick them up from the airport. I'll call you later to keep catching up, okay peach?"

"Okay, but—"

"Awesome, happy birthday, we love you! See you in two weeks!"

"...see y—"

—————

"...Remy?"

"Good evening, Linda… where's Leah?"

"...and here I thought you called to talk to me. But I suppose I'm only your mother, nothing—"

"Mom, please, I'll talk to you after I tell Leah something really important."

"Alright, I'm sorry. But you got the package we sent you, didn't you?"

"I did, I… I just don't understand. You painted that…?"

"Who else would sign my name on a canvas, Remy?"

"You're… right. I'm sorry. It's very nice. Thank you."

"Happy birthday, son."

"Thank… you…"

"...hello?"

"Leah…? Leah, sweetie, can you hear me?"

"Remy! Oh, oh oh oh Remy I told you I'd tell you about my camp and—"

"And how was your time at camp? Take a breath and then tell me."

"Okay! Okay, so, so we were in the woods, and in cabins, and I kinda wanted to sleep in tents but it didn't happen and it was kinda disappointing but I can always do that later, and…"

—————

August 2003

There was a blackout as Remy was trying to write an essay Dr. Gilliam asked of his class.

So his dad put him on a bus to Georgia, which is why he's making do right now at doing his schoolwork with two children running around.

"We gotta go bowling too!" Leah whispered excitedly. For the fifteenth time this hour. "And then we need ice cream, and, umm, I know where the puppies are, and—"

"Leah, love, I need to finish this essay for school right now. Give me a couple minutes, about twenty, and I'll be with you, okay?"

"Okay!"

Remy couldn't be happier to be there at that moment. He had a plane ticket booked to Boston, his rooming was already set at Lowell, the papers have all been set and he was about to room with Emile, Mandy called him the other day to ask if he'd like to help her run the queer society meetings (and of course he said yes)...

And then there was a crashing sound. And a crying toddler sound. And he had to put his laptop aside to go check on Rachel.

More like run to the kitchen to check on Rachel, who was now standing in front of broken pieces of cheap china and bawling her eyes out.

"No, sweetie, it's okay…" he picked her up and started playing with her hair, hoping to calm her down. "We're gonna clean this, okay? What were you doing with the plate?"

"Tea party!"

"You wanna have a tea party?" She nodded, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. "Okay… okay. Let's wash your face, then pick up the pieces, and then make some tea and have a tea party with your dollies. Okay, love?"

She nodded again, and he kind of had no choice. So he did what he said he'd do, sitting Rachel down in her high chair as he cleaned the broken pieces, and for a moment, he felt like an absolute idiot. He felt like he was his mom.

Well… like Rachel was his mom, and the plate was him, and he was his dad, and holy fuck Emile's show analysis habits have definitely had an effect on him and he really should stop thinking about all this ridiculousness right now.

"Remy?" Leah whispered from behind him as he was picking up the shards. Rachel was entertaining herself, rather unaware of what's going on. "Is daddy gonna be mad?"

"I—" He had to stop. And think before answering. "I don't think so, honey."

"But a plate broke…"

"...he doesn't have to know. It was just a plate. He doesn't count the plates in the cupboard, now does he?" She shook her head, her hair flying everywhere. "So he won't know. Because we won't tell him."

"Okay. I can do that."

"I know you can do that, hon. Now, how about you get your roller skates and we'll go to the park?"

"But you said tea party…"

"We can have a tea party after the park. Rachel, do you wanna go to the park?"

Rachel, who up until then mostly minded her own business, looked over and started nodding with a big smile on her face.

"So we can go to the park and then have a tea party. Where's your roller skates?"

—————

Saturday, August 30th, 2003

"It's always nice to see new faces at the queer society meetings," Mandy said with a huge smile on her face as she balanced the clipboard on her knee, Remy holding her iced coffee. "I'm glad you all could make it today. Now, let's do a name round. Everyone state your preferred name - please no dick jokes, we have people who are very uncomfortable with those in this group as well - and what brings you here, and a small fact you'd like people to know about yourself if you'd want to."

Remy just kept looking over the room. Mandy had this all under control, already having printed out a list to put everyone's names and contacts in for if they need to. India trained her well.

From the corner of his eye, Remy could see Emile bouncing in his seat.

"I'll go first. Hi, I'm Amanda, I go by Mandy, I'm pansexual—"

"That's not a real word," someone called out. Remy did his best not to glare at the person.

He was pretty sure it's Chris.

"Pansexual is a word, Christian," Mandy replied, not even looking at him. "It was coined before your grandmother was even born. Anyway, I'm Mandy, I'm pansexual, and I'm in this wheelchair today because I have fibromyalgia and today is a very bad pain day. Who wants to go next?"

It was the same old sharing circle. Some people elaborated more, some people chose not to. Emile went ham on sharing, telling everyone he was gay and asexual and talking about his bunnies at length, looking as proud as he can be.

And then it got to Remy. And he wasn't nearly as anxious as he was last year.

"I'm Remy, I'm gay and transgender, and my therapist said I can start hormone therapy this year."

#kylo cant write #sanders sides #remy/sleep #emile picani #keep him safe #sleep is for the weak #the remy centric prequel #tw: period appropriate transphobia #tw: aphobia #tw: panphobia #tw: mentions of child abuse #tw: deadnaming

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irepookie · 5 years

Text

Wake up Call, Infinity Ch.3

Summary: QUEEN AU WHERE ROGER (ROWAN)IS A19 YEAR OLD SINGLE DAD TRYING TO FIND A PLACE IN THE WORLD OF MUSIC

WARNINGS: iNTENSE FLUFF AND SOME SWEARING

Chapter 3: Row has to start stepping out of the bubble him and his daughter have been living in while in the safety of the hospital, and break the news to his best friends.

John- Rick

Fred-Len

Bri- Terry

Rog- Rowan

When Row had hung up on Len mid sentence, the boys had been confused. Then again, he was at his mom's house and they had heard her infamous shout of <<ROWAN EUGENE QUEEN>> that always preceded an argument, so they let it go. But then he didn't turn up to rehearsal, or called back for the rest of the afternoon. Or the following afternoon. Or for rest of the week. And that was unlike him. He always called back. (Well, most of his former one night stands would disagree with this). Let's just say he always called his band mates back. Sometimes drunk, at 4 AM, Thus leaving a wakeful Terry with 2 hours to spare nothing to do but to start revising for whatever exam he had ahead.

So, when they didn't know of him, they went directly to the village's police station, to see if he was locked up, and if not, to report him missing.

"What if we ask Gina?" Rick suggested

"I'd rather check the morgue first, thanks" Len said.

"Well, what else can we do? Huh?"

"Audition new drummers"

"Seriously boys. Let's go."

They knocked on Row's childhood home. Gina opened, with messy hair, a dressing gown and slippers

"Oh, hello boys. He ain't here" she took a drag of the 4th cigarette she had smoked that day despite it only being 8:30 AM.

"Where is he?"

"He isn't at home?"

"We've checked and there's no track of him. We haven't seen him in 7 days"

She sighed "in the hospital, I think. If he hasn't left already"

"Hospital?" All three said simultaneously

"What happened?!" Len added

"You don't know?"

"Know what?"

She smiled, mockingly "Wow, father of the year isn't so sure after all"

"What?"

She laughed bitterly. If he hadn't told his best friends yet, it maybe meant he was reconsidering the whole thing. Maybe common sense had hit him after the first stinky nappy.

"You know what? Come in."

"Oh we were actually in a rush..."

"You wanna find him or not? Come in, I don't bite

"Alright" all three musicians entered somewhat awkwardly in the house where so many sleep overs had taken place, back in the day.

She led them to the kitchen, where the phone was, and dialed.

Callie was the closest to the phone "Row? Yes, I'll get him"

She made her way to the room where the Prune had been moved in the previous evening, due to her favourable evolution and the need of free incubators.

She grinned at the scene: the 6 day old infant was dozing against her dad's bare chest, supported by his hands -which seemed huge in comparison to her small figure-. His eyes were closed, but Callie could tell he was awake as his left hand was stroking her head. It was adorable, and they seemed at such peace -poor Row had spent his first whole night on night watch and was exhausted-.

"Row" she called softly

He opened his big blue eyes in acknowledgement.

"You have a call"

"A call? From who?" He whispered back, before looking down at the baby to make sure she was asleep

"Didn't say. But she was kind of irritated"

"Oh, that's mom then" he smiled sarcastically, but didn't move a bit.

"You aren't gonna get on the phone?"

"I don't know. She doesn't deserve our attention does she?" He cooed

"How bad can it be?"

"You don't wanna see my bad side. And I don't ever want her to see it either"

Callie smiled "Go. I'll stay with her"

He groaned in annoyance. He was so comfortable, and he didn't want to get up.

"C'mere darling" he mumbled, detaching his daughter from his lap and carefully lying her on the cot

He exited the room and walked to the phone "What?"

"Row! Where are you?" The three voices of his best friends greeted him from the other side

"Oh, hi guys I... How did you get this number?"

"We're calling you from your mum's. She says you're in hospital" Terry's soft voice said worriedly

"You've gone fucking AWOL! Where are you man? We're worried as hell" Len scolded

"Oh yeah, hehe been..."he scratched the back of his head "been pretty busy" He glanced in the direction of his daughter's room, where he saw Callie readjusting the yellow teddy bear he had bought her the second day.

"Busy? With what?" Rick inquired

"It's... It's a long story."

"Well we've got time"

"Shouldn't you be in uni?" Row said in hopes they'd have to run into class

"It's Sunday, Row!"

"Oh is it?" He had lost track of time, honestly

"C'mon! Spit it"

He sighed "Alright, huh..." He tried to think of where to start. He couldn't really think much tho; his brain was pudge at that moment. "I met a girl in..." He counted nine months back from February "June?" No wait Piper was premature so it could be July or... Then it hit him. "No, remember that afternoon when we set up that Live Aid session in your parents backyard, Len?"

The boys nodded. July 13th. How could they forget? It had been dubbed the best Summer Party of 1985 in town. The four of them had tried to get tickets, but they couldn't even afford a ticket to London in the first place. And so, They watched the whole show with four TV screens around the yard instead, and the whole village had joined them, arguing on which performance had been the best.

Of course, all four members of Symbols agreed that it had been Queen.

"But they signed up late" someone said

"Yea, they came late to the party" another agreed.

"So what? They rocked the party! You just say that because you like U2 better"

"Like you prefer Queen!"

"But we've got a point! Regardless of how much we like them, they were, objectively, the best performance" /

"Objectively? Bullshit!" Anne Williams snapped "They played the same shit they always play! And Bono was a true gentleman, helping that girl who was getting crashed by the crowd."

"Yea, I'm sure Freddie wouldn't have given a shit, so full of himself and his teeth up his~" /

Dennis Phelps couldn't finish his sentence as a someone tossed him a Converse, which hit his head. A young woman, with Bowie-like orange dyed haircut approached, with a bare left foot and the matching shoe on the other

"You know nothing about putting up a good show then. Also, you mess with Freddie Mercury again and next time the shoe will be stuck up your ass" she told Dennis, retrieving the item "I mean, it's clear who I'm rooting for but Queen really did what had to be done. Geldof told them all to play the hits, because that's precisely why they're hits: they work. Other artists, like your boyfriend Bono and his band played new material, as if this was their concert. And it's not. Even though they signed up on time and whatever. They took a risk, crowd didn't know the song, they lost interest. But Queen had common sense: they played the hits, the anthems, and people connected with them. And it's not about Freddie or him hypnotizing Wembley. It's having some common sense. And not even you two knew the lyrics of U2s new song. So shut the hell up"

Row had liked her instantly. That's a girl who knows the stuff.

They exchanged a smile, a wink and a complicit nod

"We must join our forces to help out our friends under pressure, don't we?" She said

"Oh yes, Bowie girl." Terry remembered

"Yep."

"So what's with her?" Rick said

"Well, that.. she..." He cut himself off when a cry echoed in Pip's room "Gotta go, guys. I'll call you back"

"No! Row!" Len said, but the line went dead

"Shit"

"What happened?" Gina, who had watched the scene from the door frame, -and was about to finish her 6th cigar in a row,- asked

"He rambled about that Live Aid day, and a girl he met there"

"Did he say her name?"

"No. He had to go suddenly. It's all weird"

"Yea, well... Life is weird, boys"

"I don't understand. What's going on? Can't you tell us, Mrs. Queen?"

"Oh no. No. It's not my story to tell. Nor my business. I tried my best, but that stubborn bastard didn't listen. I'm sorry" she said

"But is he okay?" Len asked, concerned

Gina grinned, at how despite it all, the four boys would stick up with each other to the end of the world "Yes. He's fine."

"Row, are you okay?" Callie said, as the drummer wordlessly took the bundle from her

"Yes, yes. Why wouldn't I be?" He said, sitting with the fussy baby

"You're a bit pale"

"Oh I... Nothing. Just... I'm nervous honestly. Because we're about get discharged and I'm gonna be alone with her and I'll have to dad around all by myself and... And everyone will know..."

"Know what?"

"About her"

"And is that a problem?" Callie crossed her arms

"No, I mean... No, of course not. But everyone will ask questions and judge me and... I'm worried I will end up believing them more and fuck it all up"

"Believing what?"

"They'll start telling me it's a mistake, that I'm gonna screw everything up and that I won't be able to be a good dad and I'm afraid it will become true"

"So you're saying that how people think of you is gonna affect the way you... How you called it? Dad around?"

He nodded "Well, answer me these, will you? Have you, in this moment or at any point during these seven days, thought you are making a mistake?"

He looked at the tiny bundle and shook his head.

"Are you willing to always do your best for the shake of Piper?"

He nodded, noticing he was unconsciously rocking her back and forth.

"Then what's the problem?"

"Look I haven't exactly been a role model in... Well anything. One thing my mom's proud of is that I'm not into drugs. Everyone who has a daughter in the block hates me. So how am I supposed to raise one?"

"Exactly how you've been doing the last six days"

"Yes but I have you guys. And the medics, and the equipment. But there I'll be all alone"

"You will never be alone. You have the friends you've told me about. And your mum...Maybe the little darling is gassy"

"Oh stop about my mum" he carefully changed the Prune to an upright position and began to rub circles on her back without even hesitation. Wow he was actually getting a hold on the burping stuff.

"Yes. Your mum will eventually come to terms with the lil'raisin. I'm sure." She said, whist handing him a muslin to place on the baby's range of accuracy

"Oh you don't know her"

"I know she's a mum. Your mum and mother's rarely ever turn their backs on their children for good"

Row looked at the baby, then raised an eyebrow at Callie

"I said it's rare. There are obviously exceptions" she said "And believe me you're better off. Also, she did call. That's gotta Mean something"

"I didn't speak with her. Just the band. They were at her place, yeah but... I don't know. I'm not gonna beg on my fucking knees..." He was interrupted by a burp I his ear. Damn, that was a big one. He'd need 2 beers to produce such a loud one.

"Easy, tiger." He laughed "Goddamn it, where did that come from, huh? You're unbelievable" he praised, while getting the muslin out his shoulder and handing it to Callie

"And a neat one too. 10/10." She chuckled

"Atta girl. That's my lil'raisin. Yeah, good girl" he cooed, bringing her to face him, before she started fussing and he nested her again on his chest "Aw, don't cry honey. Please. You're alright. C'mon" he begged. She settled down quickly, and he sighed in relief.

"The point is, that here is like... I feel safe, you know? It's like another world. Another life. And now I have to fit her in my every day, and be in charge and stuff, and... I'm not sure I'm ready"

"Parents are never ready to take them home. Not even those who had 9 months of preparation, and parenting classes, and a nicely decorated and supplied nursery. No one feels ready. But nerves are good. Nerves mean that you care. Worrying and doubting about your ability to be the dad your child needs is precisely what's gonna make you raise your game. Just one last question: are you 100% that you love that lil one with all your heart?"

He looked at his daughter, who had gone back to sleep with the rambling of his voice, as his hand still caressed head and grinned "Hell yeah" Otherwise, how could he explain the way his chest seemed to be holding two hearts whenever she was in his arms? Or how, when he had to leave for the night it felt as though both those hearts were ripped away from him? Or how else could he have turned this goddamn sappy? Yep. That was the proof.

"Then that's all the two of you will ever need. She won't care if you two are rich or live in a cardboard box, or if she wasn't in your initial plans, or that she doesn't have a mom. As long as you love her and make her feel like it."

He nodded, and rested his lips on her soft scalp.

"Right, I Gotta get to another patient. Call'em back."

He stood up, this time taking his Prune along, and went to the corridor where the phone was. Making sure her head was safely cradled along with the rest of her small body on his left arm, he tucked the phone between the right shoulder and neck and dialed their shared place's number

Rick picked up "Yes?"

"I'm a dad" he said simply, and waited for his reaction.

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I’ll post the picture separately in order to preserve my goddamn sanity cause Tumblr is being a pain in the arse!!!!!

How do you guys do it? Am I the only one who needs 5 bloody tries to post this things?

#roger taylor #dad!roger taylor #queen band #queen fluff #bohemian rhapsody

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dumbthinmint · 6 years

Text

I'm at a college football game and I have thoughts

Disclaimers: One, this is not a jab at football as a sport, so hold your angry responses until I finish. Two, I made a post similar to this last year on my old blog, so if you're one of the few people who followed me that I managed to track down after I emergency deleted my blog, there's a chance you've already heard me rant once about what I'm gonna say here. If so, well, I apologize, but I'm here to rant again.

Now, to business.

I ran cross country for nearly seven years, from June 2010 to September 2016. I was 11 years old and had just graduated from elementary school when I started. I was one month shy of 18 when I stopped mid-season in my senior year of high school. I spent my formative years doing a sport that brought me some of the best and worst moments of my pre-college life. I didn't want to at first. My parents said I needed to learn to exercise, that it would be something to put on a college resume, and that having a group I belonged to would be good for me. They were right on all counts, and looking back I'm glad I did it, but that didn't stop me from hating it at first. I was slow, unathletic, antisocial, and in agony for most of my first year. Yet despite that, I got so much support. I have three distinct memories from that season: the halfway point of my first race, a discussion with my mom after my second race about how I wasn't sure if I prefered hot short races or cloudy long ones, and one ordinary day at practice where I, after falling behind the rest of the team like normal, finally reached the end of the trail to find the entire team cheering my name as I finished the practice. That memory is, to this day, so important to me that if I could cast a patronus, it would be a happy memory I would use to cast it. There is only one other memory that I would put into that category with absolute certainty; that's how amazing that moment was. The support I got from my team during my first season pushed me to return in seventh and eigth grade for two amazing seasons of insane improvement, got me through my 9th grade season when puberty hit me like a truck and sent me back to square one as a new, immature, inexperienced coach called us names and creeped out the girls, reminded me to keep trying as a new coach and new year brought me tiny steps of improvement again, and kept up my spirits as I injured my ankle again and again until the damage forced me to quit halfway through my last season. I am who I am today, optimistic and refusing to blame myself for my struggles and weaknesses, because of that team.

Now, here I am, sitting in the crowd of a college football stadium. Around me are mostly older men with white hair hiding beneath their aged blue caps. At some point, they were my age, walking the same paths and studying in the same buildings. Barely adults- still teenagers in many ways- they sat in this stadium and watched kids just like them throw and kick a oblong ball to the sound of band instruments and cheers. They graduated and moved on, but this campus was a time capsule they could return to and relive the days of their youth. They watch the kids on the field, and they hold onto that feeling they left in these seats decades ago; they're just like me.

But they're not. These are kids. They don't have your life experience, your jadedness, your boomer worldview that life owes you no favors and you have to earn everything. These are kids full of life, energy, and hope that just want to play a game they enjoy. Like my cross country days, these are memories they will take with them through the rest of their lives.

But unlike me, rather than encouragement, these men are throwing them anger. Whenever someone makes a mistake, I hear shouting and cruel, unfair accusations thrown from the seats around me. "Is he stupid?!?!" "Any ass could've told him to throw it then!" "F*cking r*****d!" "Why the hell did they let him on the field?" Etc etc etc. I heard all this and more around me in the last minute after one of the players got tackled.

I don't care how much this game is a part of your personal history. I don't care how much goddamn honor and pseudo-nationalist bullshit you think they are proving for your beloved team. I don't care how bad the players are. THESE ARE KIDS, NOT GLITCHY VIDEO GAME NPCS!

And the worst part is, even if these kids can't hear the some of those shouts now, they'll see them on social media, sports sites, and news reports across the state. The vocal disgust of thousands of alumni will follow them for their entire college career. It'll feed into insecurity, toxic masculinity, and god knows what else already worming its way into their heads.

It's just a game. ACT LIKE IT.

#college football #football #sports #college sports #rant #r word mention

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