#kills religious ramblings

[no-nightingalez]

What’s stopping me from blaming all my problems on God, huh? Who says I can’t chalk everything up to the narrative being doomed from the start?? Why do my sins rest upon my shoulders and not the one who supposedly planned it all???

#what being raised southern baptist does to a mf #kills religious ramblings #religious trauma #cw religion #religion #ex evangelical #my txt

[hopefullystillliving]

You ever get lulled into a false sense of security during the first two thirds of a kid's movie that's good with a serious plot but mostly a pretty fun time, only to have the entire final third tear your heart out, chew it up and spit it out, crush it into even finer paste beneath its heel, and add the fine powder your ribs have been turned into by the sledgehammer it whammed you with as a seasoning?

Anyway Nimona was great, 10/10 would recommend, I was crying on and off for what probably totaled 20 minutes of tears.

#hopeful rambling #nimona #cw graphic #i think that's probably the right tag for that description #anyway yes im a little late to the train but i was waiting until i could watch it with my dearest #my takeaway is that they should put a content warning on it for trans people especially bc you will feel punched in the face #that allegory sure can trans. #i think i related to it in a different way than most people #bc being genderqueer yeah nimona going im not a girl im just myself hit home but im not *trans* #so i think i actually ended up projecting onto balistar as someone who deeply loves a trans person (different ways obviously) #being told 'yes you can rejoin the society you betrayed you aren't like *her* you arent a monster everything can go back to what it was #you can be one of the good guys if you reject the freaks' #but they betrayed you first and the good guys aren't good and how things were is worse actually than saying i love you i see you im with you #to the freaks and the monsters who will accept who you are unlike the society that never will always keeping you to an impossible standard #of never being yourself #so yeah the religious/societal prejudice trauma was very felt at some points #and i grieved for nimona not because she was me but because she was my dearest and she was a friend #and she was a thousand people i will never know who decided it was better to die as yourself than be killed as someone you aren't #and didn't have a person to say im sorry. i see you. #anyway. yeah im still crying. altered my brain chemistry is mild i think it rearranged my organs punched a hole in my chest and i thanked it #nimona spoilers

[timeisacephalopod]

The type of Christian who asks atheists how they don't like, murder people on the reg are so funny to me because they seem to think their religion makes them the Peak of Morality when statements like "if you don't believe in God how comes you don't do X thing" all but outright state they have no idea why shit like murder and rape is bad except that God doesn't like it lmao. Like way to admit you have no intrinsic sense of morality and need to be afraid of a higher power to be a decent person, but I promise if you're not a piece of shit it's actually very natural not to want to do heinous evil shit all the time potential punishment from a higher power or not 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

#winters ramblings #seriously its SO funny when that happens because every time its like ??? the FUCK kind of thoughts do you have #to ask HOW i resist doing evil shit all the time because i dont fear god because i dont believe in God?? #what kind of fucked up person do you haveto be to only resist killing people because of fear of a higher power?? #these are people to avoid because typically they also come with the issue of using their religion to make any action they want #perfectly Good and Moral because GOD said it its in the BIBLE whether thats true or not and like bible or no #if you have no intrinsic sense of morality i dont want to hear about atheist morality from you lmao #not that athiests lack issues i swear to god white dudes who evangelize atheism like its their new religion #have WILDLY missed the point and often suffer the same problem as the aforementioned Christians #wherein the onky thing thats ever given them any kind of pushback is the church so they decide RELIGION is horrible and bad as a whole #which isnt true religion can be a perfectly lovely amazing thing for people but that brand of atheist #doesnt seem to understand that people turned away from the church because of wide spread abuse and discrimination not because #believing in god makes you literally mentally ill like some of these fuckos act like. abelist AND shite to religious folks in one fowl swoop #so you know atheists have problems too but like they arent making laws in their beliefs images across the world so you know #temper the criticism with how influential the group actually is although richard dawkins types DID get a lot of space to spew their idiocy #like dawkims if you think youre SOOOO much smarter than christians how come you have ALL the same misogyny problems?? #youre not that smart and logical if youve decided a whole kind of person is inherently less than you buddy. in fact thats very Christian #of him actually. funny when that happens but again if you dont actually know WHY something is a problem #its very easy to say Thats Bad and then literally do the exact same thing you just condemned because when YOU do it its no longer bad #because its got YOUR flavor of fucked up morality on it now instead of being like hmm maybe Christianity isnt a problem #because it EXISTS but because a lot of people use their religion as a pointed barb to discriminate against huge swaths of people #and often the intolerance becomes a legal issue when Christians and other religious majorities shove through laws based on EXCLUSIVELY their #religions and opinions and that doesnt mean religion should be dismantled it means we ahould tell religious folk who would know what #morality was if it fucked them up the ass to shut up and figure out what morality is outside of rekigion before they start legislating about #it and whatnot. also i wish extreme opinions werent ALL the news focused on exclusively on the political right #can we platform some NORMAL well adjusted christians who are god loving AND not a bunch of wingnuts #who are two steps away from arguing thou shall not kill only applies to people they LIKE because they dont seem to understand #maybe murder is bad when EVERYONE does it not just The Bad People??!?!

[birchbow]

Gamzee often refers to himself as “pan-rotted” due to his sopor-eating habit as a wriggler (and so does pretty much everyone else at some point). He told Kurloz that he has to really focus in order to remember mission instructions a few chapters back, I think? Gamzee doesn’t have a great self image, but it seems true that he’s often slow to draw inferences unless he’s already paying attention for hints about something specific. Like his default awareness is a little more diffuse, and he has to put in deliberate effort to narrow it down on a particular problem? He attributes this to the sopor, and so does everyone else. What I’m asking is - sopor aside - does being neglected by a lusus affect a troll’s brain development? (Beyond emotional stability and the ability to form secure attachments, ouch.) Since lusii don’t talk I’m not sure about language acquisition but maybe lusii respond positively to grubs babbling? Sidenote: the fact that Gamzee has the scriptures memorized so well almost feels like his chronically understimulated pan grabbed these abundant in-person interactions with authority figures in his early schoolfeeds and ate it up like starving. Sorry this is so rambling 😅

I'm incapable of being brief, especially when I get long asks with lots to chew over, so here's a readmore!

SO There's a moment in canon where Gamzee outright says "[sopor] rots you. Rusts your motherfucking thinkpan." and I think it's up for debate to what extent that's true but also it does seem pretty reasonable that heavy/consistent drug use throughout your adolescence would leave you some cognitive issues!

(Although also, as a person who tests super well in things I intuitively Get and am interested in, but often feels slow and dull, can't fit certain subjects/concepts into my head, and has a hard time remembering all the steps of things I want to do,,,, I put a lot of myself into my characters, is what I'm saying lol.)

RE: not having a lusus, I think that probably would have way more effect than the kid who went through it would assume, yeah. Like, all trolls would know your lusus keeps you safe from predators/intruders, gives you early practice fighting/wrestling, and especially in more rural areas, scavenges and hunts for you especially when you're young. But trolls as a society definitely undervalue the part where they also provide a sense of security and affection, because you're not supposed to want or value those things as a troll!

It's hard to make direct connections since lusii only sort of resemble human parents, but there's certainly studies to show that children of neglectful human parents struggle forming the cognitive pathways they would otherwise establish, and have trouble later in life--even if your caretaker doesn't talk, it seems pretty reasonable to me that having a parental figure who fucks off for long periods of time and leaves you completely alone with no idea when they'll be back would have a pretty similar effect across species! I'm not well-educated enough on that topic to draw the parallels I would want to, but it feels like a solid theory.

Also, quite apart from any of that, there was definitely a chain of cause and effect from "dad doesn't want me and there's no food" to "...but I have sopor slime" to "this makes me less hungry and also I give less of a shit about how hungry and lonely I am" to "if I stop eating this I feel shitty and have a hard time thinking straight and there's like a decade of repressed emotions under there".

RE: scripture, one of the things that I see original-flavor/canon Gamzee do is be all in on his religion, and when that falls out from under him, reorient to the first convincing power he finds, which unfortunately for everybody is the whole mess of Doc Scratch/Li'l Cal/Lord English. It to me feels very much like a guy who has no idea how to make his own ideological support structure, and is desperately looking for someone to give him a belief system and set of rules to follow.

ANYWAY SO hopefully it's fairly clear how that carries forward in a universe where instead, he gets a supportive church that helps him sober up and channels all his deeply-repressed rage into "hey, those aliens over there need conquering, go kill em", and also he's offered these books that are like. The rules. And knowing them gets him approval, and reassures him when he feels like a fuckup, and it turns out he can learn things, if they're things that fit in his brain right, and that's reassuring because he genuinely thinks most of his failings are his own fault for wanting sopor, and Alternian addiction support boils down to "do that again and we'll cull you" so they sure the fuck don't have a compassionate attitude about recovery or good information into after-effects, so everybody else is also just like "yeah, probably you fucked up your brain, idk, git gud".

This is a very lengthy way of agreeing with you lmao. The feedback loop of "oh you're pretty good at this" from authority figures, and it being a topic that he naturally had an interest in, definitely is a big part of why he's so deeply into it.

#ask time! #price of forgiveness #gamzee makara #i don't usually tag canon characters but also this became more of a character ramble than actually about the fic so #gamzee: gets a new faith #gamzee: immediately goes ALL THE FUCK IN #hey yknow when you have a religious crisis so you get a new one raise the dark destructive savior #and then drag your mutilated immortal body through the desert to serve him while he repeatedly kills you for fun #just normal church things that normal people with normal levels of devotion do :o)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

The thing about bbc merlin is that the dynamic that's set up between merlin and arthur is so fucking good that I can't even. What can I possibly draw that's gonna encapsulate the feelings between them?

#its so fucking good. especially when u set it up like #arthur is so so afraid of losing this one person who is is true friend. i cant lose merlin i cant lose merlin #but im too much of a bro to tell him that but also i will give him hair ruffles and light bullying bc i want to touch him #he is my little dweeb who i love. and merlin is just. i mean. hes just merlin. would protect arthur no matter what #my man would and has killed so so many ppl for his king lmao #also arthur kneeling for merlin. just. ya kno. i think thats good. good good good. #ugh but i also want stained glass and weird fucked up religious themes. #ugh. and now im just spiralling bc i dont kno what to draw 1st. god! #im distracting myself from being upset abt another thing. ill think abt that thing later. draw now. while i have thr fucking time #merliiiin DX but also i have so much to color DDXXXX #merlin rambling #see. this is what i fucking do. i have to come up with thr fucking perfect idea. and then i just never do anything bc its not perfect #its dysfunctional. stop that

[gnomeish]

The more I listen to pro-choicers the more I believe the only reason they're pro-choice is to be able to have as much sex as possible with no consequences. Why else would so many liberal men be up in arms for "women's bodily autonomy"?

#My bodily autonomy doesn't give me the right to kill another person #If I got pregnant it wouldn't be just my body #prolife #pro life #Pro-life #Catholic #My womb literally exists to create a child #Even of I didn't use it for it #It exists to continue our species #To create a unique human life with equal amount of value to my own life #I can live my life without ever having kids and choosing not to pursue pregnancy it still doesn't change the fact that my body is able to #make a baby and I have no right to end that life as the baby's body is not my body #All human life is of equal value as we all are created in the image of God #Even when I wasn't religious I agreed with the point that all human life is of equal value so religion is not needed to agree with yh #*that statement #Kinda rambly post #But pro-choice is just about having sex #You would not have a need for abortion if you just didn't have sex unless you wanted to procreate #R*pe makes such a small percentage of abortions it can't be used to justify having ond for every single reason someone can come up with

[wereh0gz]

I'm definitely not the only queer person who's kinda wary of Christian ppl they encounter online right?

Like I see a profile that clearly states they're Christian and they post like Bible verses and shit and I'm just. Hoping they're not queerphobic. Or saying some dumbass shit like "hate the sin love the sinner" or whatever while pretending that's not queerphobic

If they're interacting with me first it's pretty safe to assume they're not gonna be like that bc I'm very obviously queer (🏳️‍🌈 + pronouns in bio) but if it's someone who hasn't interacted with me at all I kind of instinctively avoid interacting with them out of fear of them being that way. Y'know

#ramblings #i think it's bc even tho i've never been religious and my family isn't like a super uptight christian family #i have encountered a preacher who was homophobic and transphobic before #he's puerto rican too which just makes me disappointed in my people tbh #i grew up surrounded by a lot of accepting ppl both within and outside of the family #as well as a couple gay/trans ppl #i was always taught that that's just the way some ppl are and that we should respect that #even if we didn't fully understand everything and weren't up to date with the latest most accepted terminology and stuff #ppl were just respectful and let others be themselves #so it's extremely hard for me to understand why other ppl would be queerphobic #i mean. i kinda get it. it what they were taught growing up. just how i was taught to be accepting and respectful #but why ppl would continue to teach that to their kids and perpetuate queerphobia is really what i don't get #like. accepting that ppl different from you exist and that's ok isn't going to kill you #maybe learn abt the world from other sources besides the bible and try to see different perspectives #instead of shutting yourself off to just one way of thinking and hurting ppl in the process #anyways. i think it's also bc i've seen too many really religious ppl on the internet who are also queerphobic #and they have these big platforms of ppl who support them and share their views #and like. i shouldn't generalize. but they paint an ugly image of christians in general #also like. christians throughout history don't have the cleanest track record #but i know a lot of christians nowadays aren't like that. in fact i'm willing to say most aren't #but still it's like. better be safe than sorry y'know #idk man

[allroseshave-their-pricks]

hey bitches with religious trauma... how are we feeling about the Good Omens season finale?

#good omens #good omens 2 #i don't even have religious trauma but that 'i forgive you' fucking KILLED ME #god dman. that's Something #random rose rambles

[potatobugz]

OH MY GODDD THAT "we saw your mom and she's a real dog" LINE IN SOUTH PARK S1 EP 10 IS BECAUSE IN 'THE OMEN' DAMIENS MOTHER IS A JACKAL AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

#south park #rambles #damien thorn #GOING INSANE. #i smimmed over the wiki for the omen last night #*skimmed #interesting. i guessm i am not very religious tho so the ending didnt interest me as much #also good god could you imagine if damien wasnt the antichrist he was just really umlicky #like imagine having ur family try to kill you like 3 times #i know hes like. the embodiment of evil or whatever but. #at least i think thays the line. i have bad memory so o dont trust myself to remember anything right ever #*unlucky

[shoechoe]

It's interesting to wonder what Diavolo's relationship with religion is since he was raised by a priest and with his name and all. (Personally I like to think he became an edgy atheist because that's the funniest thing to think about)

#short posts #rambles #vento aureo #diavolo jjba #mafiosos historically were very very christian #a lot of them prayed to god before they killed and donated to the catholic church #but with diavolo... what devout christian would proudly exclaim that his name is ''devil'' #and it's easy to read possible religious trauma with diavolo's character since he has DID and you know. his priest dad named him that #it probably just wasn't considered with him but you know. #but yeah i like to think he kept the name devil just to piss off christians (only in his head. because nobody knows his name)

[lemonade-juley]

Honestly, terrible first impressions aside, the Adjudicator isn't as bad as I've seen people say.

Could it use some help? Absolutely, it tends to get outclassed by a lot of weapons. But it's fun and satisfying to use once you actually learn how to use it effectively.

Kinda like the break action shotgun. Other guns do what it does way better but like. It's fun.

#i already use fortified armor almost religiously #so using that and crouching lets the thing be pretty lethal on small enemies #it's a bit rough on devastators and berserkers though. even crouched the recoil is in a way #it seems like your bullets just circle the face #you can mag dump on them to kill one though so thats neat #lemon rambles #helldivers 2

[maoam]

“rip Jiraiya you would have loved onlyfans” another reason to hate him

Also men praising him doesn’t surprise me because they don’t see harassing women and seeing them as sex objects as wrong but women who love Jiraiya and wanted Tsunade to be with him??? Girls read feminist theory, or idc bible or literally anything that gets you out of that mindset.

#pain killing him was heroic actually #naruto ramblings #since people sometimes twist my words #the bible comment is a joke I'm not religious

[caruliaa]

just feel very strange and empty and lost in a way suddenly and trying not to cry and ruin my makeup and just wanting to be held by for a long long time

#misery. happy eid everyone. (said the same way a ex xtian with religous trauma wld say merry xmas. bc im an ex muslim with religous trauma) #but ppl ironically think not instantly dismissing any grievances ppl might have with islam is some fucking how “”rAciSt“” #when in reality all that means is they support white ppl with religious trauma #but leave ppl of colour with religious trauma in the fucking dark to feel guilty abt it #can u tell i hate u guys. next time i see someone act like islam is a perfect religion thats never used to jusitfy anyone im going to kill #whatever. not the point. just miserable and trapped by this stupid ass religon ann u can get mad at me for saying that if u rly wanna #bc that doesnt change the fact that im gonna kill myself at some point in the next 5 yrs bc im trapped in islam #flappy rambles #like i dont want to. but when theres no way out what choice do i have really. whatever man #vent

[tragedykery]

ok I’ve been thinking about taituk’s attitude towards murder lately and I think might have come to a tentative conclusion. the main problem is that if I make taituk just “ok with murder” is that, by letting (part of) their crew stay there, I would imply that attitude extends to the entirety of the tribe. but taituk being against killing in any and all cases would not be realistic, considering their job (pirate captain), and their background (grew up half on a farm in the earth kingdom where killing animals for meat presumably wasn’t rare, half in the south pole, where the main source of food is animals—both of which would lead them or others to question what the difference is between killing animals and killing people. are people of higher worth than animals and do they therefore deserve to not be killed? does that mean that animals don’t deserve to live? etc)

so I think the most realistic opinion for them to have would be that killing needs to save more lives than it takes. hunting for food, killing somebody to prevent them from hurting/killing others is okay, but hunting for fun and murder out of anything other than necessity is not.

#in any case I’d need to research the yupiit beliefs abt death and probably the vietnamese ones too if I can find any sources #abt those before colonialism #elli rambles #oc tag #oc rambles #taituk #the birates #wind in the sails #I’m still thinking about what exactly sita and hira would eat on the ship #& their presumed vegetarianism in general #I imagine growing up in an orphanage hira would not have eaten much meat bc that shit’s expensive #what would their attitudes towards killing animals be? I can’t imagine there’s a sustainable food source other than fish in the middle of #the sea. I know air nomads are allowed to eat meat when relying on others for food/if that’s what’s available (see: the dawn of yangchen) #but would sita choose to do so forever… #and what would hira do when finding out air nomads don’t eat meat? #with the desire to connect with her culture that’s so important to her character it’d be likely she’d immediately eschew meat #but like. is that possible in this situation? #they crew would definitely buy rice and dried foods at ports but that doesn’t last forever when you’re at sea… #hmm I could also play with those air nomad beliefs #bc I’m playing with the worldbuilding anyway which includes there being multiple ethnic and religious groups within the air nomads #and adding hindu influences so

[laugtherhyena]

Csm thoughts,,

#Putting these in tags cuz they're rather negative and like this people can ignore this if it shows up on search #anyways today i was showering and had a realization that like #if csm part 2 didn't exist and the manga had ended in chapter 97 i really wouldn't mind that. like at all #because so far there hasn't been anything in part 2 that stuck to me in such a way that i would be upset or miss it if it didn't exist #be it arcs world building (not big on religious allegories. that prophecy stuff really doesn't intrest me at all) or characters #in fact if it did end on the publig safety saga i probably would have liked it better #because then it would have ended and that's it. because part 2 exists i can see the story move foward #with the absence of almost everyone from part 1 and i just. miss them #so reading part 2 in general makes me inherently a little sad #and i feel like that's what blocks me from enjoying it or even growing to care for the new characters from part 2 #because i don't care for any of them that much. not even asa and yoru #and this isn't me being mad at the story for killing people off. i think all deaths in part 1 happened exactly where they needed to #and the story is beautifully crafted. i just genuinely miss them #and see denji staggering about looking so tired all the time barely looking like the same guy from part one due to everything that happened #that also makes me fell just. like this pain in my chest that i can't even explain well #i don't dislike part 2 i don't think it's bad #it's just not for me and i don't think that will change anytime soon #tho i will still look up the new chapters because i wanna see what happens. tho if there ever is a part 3 i doubt i will bother reading it #hyena ramblings #rant? i guess?

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Me, once again infected with The Terror brain worms: I have so many feeling about AMCs The Terror 😔

#the video essay that exists in my brain is so good. if only i knew how to video edit lol #its mostly just talking abt god in the landscape which i have so so many feelings abt #the comments im getting on the goodsir thing i posted this weeked r making me insane #like i feel the emotion in that scene so deeply inside me that its baffling that ppl r surprised by it. in a good way tho i suppose #like in a: i am grabbing ur face so u can stare into thr light thats blinding me #i just have so many feelings abt harry goodsir. and the show. and the landscape #about nature being laced with the devine. except im not religious. but also they're feeling so big i have to seek out religious text to put #them in context. not me reading thr bible to talk abt a horror show abt a bunch of old dead white me #everyday i get closer and closer to having insane opinions on the Christian religion but in like a literature way. like a fanon way #jesus. y am i like this? if i was religious id b a fucking unhinged #unrelated #terror ramblings #also i wish i took more time on the landscape image on the goodsir post 😭 its killing me