#just wait until November when I am free of all the big obligations. you have no idea what's come at u you lmao rip sorry

[pitiless-achilles-wept]

Not dead yet!: Marking my 2-year anniversaries

On Sunday I marked my two-year “cancerversary” of my diagnosis and on Tuesday a member of the support group I co-founded (for young women who are stage 4) died. Like me, she had triple-negative breast cancer. Like me, she was diagnosed stage 4 two years ago. Like me, she had exhausted several types of treatment (because triple-negative is a beast) and was looking for the one that would work. She asked me about Saci (Sassy!) and proposed trying it to her doctor less than a week before she died. Nine days before she passed she joined our Sunday cancer yoga group from bed at the hospital to join our meditation exercises. Like me, she remained confident and positive and absolutely refused to give up hope. (Like me, she also wore her hair purple sometimes.)

There were many things that are unlike about us too. She had two teenage children who now don’t have their mother. She was twelve years older than me and had had Hodgkin’s before she had breast cancer--even worse luck than mine, to triumph over one cancer only to get this diagnosis. Unlike me, she wasn’t strong enough for Saci, the only targeted triple-negative line of treatment, because her body had reacted badly to immunotherapy. She was in the hospital for two weeks with somewhat mysterious symptoms all of which added up to her body shutting down. On Saturday she went home with her family in hospice care. 2 days later she was gone.

It’s not usual for things to go so fast. Typically, doctors, patients, and family members all have some advance warning and patients spend a solid amount of time in hospice care. I am sure that people will ask me why it went that way for her. I’m asking myself why too, since it is so shocking and so entirely unfair. The fact that it can happen that way at all is frightening to me as a fellow patient since it’s the scenario of nightmares. That really could someday be me. No one ever wants to think that--and I cannot live my life focused on it either--but it has to be acknowledged as a possibility.

[More below the cut about memories from 2 years ago today and hopes for the future. Also, an invitation to contribute to some writing if you want.]

Today, January 28th, is the 2-year anniversary of my stage 4 diagnosis. In a way, it feels more significant than my initial cancer news. I had four days being horrified, but thinking that I would get through this as a phase in my life. It would be terrible--I’d have a double mastectomy, scorched-earth chemo, radiation, anything to get rid of the cancer--but then it would be done. On the Monday following my first set of CT scans I learned that that was not true. My lungs were full of tumors. (Later, after lots of waiting, MRIs and biopsies, I'd find that my lymph nodes, spine, and liver were affected too. I still have tumors in all those locations, but no new ones.) I wrote a description of getting that news in an email to a friend over the summer, after I had read Anne Boyer’s "The Undying”:

“The worst part about the lung tumors for me was that my dad had gotten a very early flight and I learned the news while he was in the air. My mom told me we could not text or tell him on the phone, that he would need to be with us both. So I drove to Newark straight from the doctor's office. It was in the teens outside and windy as we slogged to the baggage area where we were to meet. I saw my dad in his warmest and ugliest puffy orange down jacket, looking small in it, forlorn and horribly vulnerable. I fell into his arms, thinking at least that airports were such horrible places, so impersonal and banal, that no one would look twice. 'It's in my lungs,' I said into his shoulder so that I would not have to see his face. I was crying into the jacket that somehow smelled of winter cold even though he had been inside for hours. 'Please, Daddy. Fix it, please.' I spoke like a child because, on some very deep level, I think I really did still believe that my father could fix anything. I was embarrassed, though, and so I tried to stem my tears as he put his big hand on the back of my head and said, 'Oh sweetie, we'll get through this. We will.' I knew that really he could do nothing--and that this was his nightmare of powerlessness--and so I sniffed and blinked and I did not let myself cry again until June.”

Two years later this moment seems as if it just happened. The impact of my diagnosis on everyone dear to me, and especially my parents, is one of the worst things about it for me. We all know that there’s only so much “better” I can get, with the current science, and we’re all playing for time while the research moves forward towards something better, something that would make this a treatable chronic condition. I go back and forth, emotionally, on how likely I think that is and how good my position is for the future. Right now, comparing myself to the group member who died, I feel relatively fortunate, even as chemo exhausts me, I lose every scrap of hair that was ever on my body, and I spend half of my days being almost unable to eat from nausea and loss of taste. I feel glad that I was able to get Saci, that my body has so far stood up to the ceaseless trials I have put it through, with four treatments and surgery (and full-time work and living alone etc. etc.). I feel strong, not scared, even as I feel the emotional toll of terrible loneliness from covid isolation, winter, and carrying a sick body through my days alone.

I do not love the “fight” metaphor because so much of having an illness is completely out of your control and I never want to take myself (or anyone else) to task for “losing.” And so instead I will praise my body for enduring. I will praise myself for my enduring also, in both an emotional and physical way. I checked back in on how I was feeling as this anniversary approached last year and was pleased to see how much better I feel about it now, partly as a function of being in a treatment that is (likely) keeping me stable rather than in the midst of choosing another new one. Here is what I wrote back to my group of friends in November 2019, the run up to the one-year mark:

“I’m feeling like I can’t plan and don’t want to celebrate, like I can’t perform “fine” for the people in my life to spare them from the pain I’m causing by not doing better and feeling horrible about it. Perhaps it would help if I let them know that they didn’t need to perform “fine” for me? I understand the desire to protect me from the obligation to take care of them and appreciate it. But sometimes it can feel like I’m the only one experiencing anger or grief or pain, though I know I’m not. Feeling so isolated in my emotional response provides no catharsis for it. Compassion and sympathy function on the notion of “fellow feeling.” If you’re just out here, feeling by yourself, you can’t expect any comfort. As always, I think of the moment in the Iliad when Priam and Achilles cry together over dead Hector. Grief (and you can grieve for many things aside from a death) is something explicitly to be shared.” So I guess I’ve shared it here. I can do that. And I can do another thing, which is to tell you I love you. People don’t really say it enough and reserve it too entirely for romantic contexts. It’s weird--it’s not like we are wartime rationing love! And every time anyone says it to me it helps. It’s an affirmation that I am integral in some way to people’s lives which, in a society that so greatly valorizes marriage/partnership and children, is something I can be in doubt about.”

There are some things I like here, though, and that I would now like to reiterate and invite you, my far-flung friends, to do for my 2-year milestone. Never has the notion of “fellow feeling” in times of grief and depression hit harder or been more important than during covid. In a way, the nation (or even world) was forced into much the same position, emotionally and practically, that my cancer put me in. People are isolated, unable to perform “fine” and wondering if other people feel the same way, or even if any of us can take care of each other at all. I am here to tell you that you can. Maybe not immediately but--sooner than you think--you can. Emotional reserves may be low but reaching out to support someone else can actually replenish them. You do not have to feel alone, or to feel, alone.

And for me, for this milestone and for the cancer-related depression that I certainly do have, I’d like to invite you to help me, so that I can do the same for you. I invite you to write something about how this milestone feels for you (either about me or not), how it relates to all the other insane things going on in the world or with you (not about me at all), how you felt on the original day when I shared my stage 4 diagnosis (definitely about me)--really anything that is on your mind or in your heart.

“Oh great,” you may think, “the English PhD has asked us to do homework!”. But no! It's up to you what you do. Write in whatever form you want, however long, even anonymously. And if you do I will write you back! Not with grades or comments, but with something to connect to what you shared. It is a way to create fellow-feeling; to open up, connect, heal. With me, yes, but also as the group of extraordinary people who have gone with me so far on this hard road. It’s a very different proposition to support someone through time-limited treatment with a good outcome than it is to sign on for whatever comes next. You are all, truly, pretty extraordinary.

Anyone who wants to send a note or reflection can email me or drop a file or post in this Google drive folder. Like I said, feel free to share whatever and do it anonymously if you’d rather. You can also askbox me here (better than DMS) or submit a post to this blog. (I'm taking a chance with open DMs for now...we'll see if that needs to change.)

I am grateful for all of you every day, but especially today.

Love, Bex

p.s. The title of this post refers to the cinematic classic "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," a film my high school self and friends loved. They, along with other wonderful folks. gave me a "cancerversary" cake with "Not dead yet, motherfucker!" on it this Sunday. p.p.s. The average life expectancy for people who get this diagnosis is 18 months to 3 years. Hitting 5 years would be extraordinary. Starting Year 3 is a huge deal and I have every intention of being extraordinary. (Never been average at anything in my life...I either succeed spectacularly or fail epically!)

#my life as a cancer patient #cancerversary #stage 4 #mbc #metastatic breast cancer #personal #memories #bex writes #writing invitation #quarantine life

[missysvault]

Playing with Food

Summary: “Now: movies with me or leave me alone?” It’s Halloween and you want to watch your cheesy movie marathon in peace. Missy has other ideas.

Warnings: NSFW. Blood is mentioned, it’s present in a sexy way, but also serves a functional purpose on account of Missy being a blood-sucking creature, MIHOW

Word Count: 2970

A/N: Yes I know it’s mid-November.. Yes you’re still getting this vaguely October themed fic, I just wanted to write Missy as a vampire

The TARDIS should not be as dark as it was. Usually it was well-lit and easy to navigate, sympathetic to your poor sense of direction. Tonight though it wound endlessly and you were sure you were lost; you hoped someone would find you before you got in too deep. “Poppet, what are you up to all the way back here?” So this was her fault. The tone of Missy’s voice told you there was no way she’d just innocently come across you. Sometimes when she wanted a captive audience she’d get you so disoriented you had to rely on her to get back to a familiar area- it happened at least once a month. 

“If you wanted to play hide and seek, I would’ve liked to be told first.” You turned to face her, but she was much closer than expected and you stumbled back against one of the many doors on the wall. She was on you in a second, arms boxing you in on either side; you were a little taller than her, but she was by far stronger. Missy had you in her grasp as soon as she’d laid eyes on you.  Her teeth shone in the dark hallway, just barely reflected with the wall-mounted candlelight. Of course, she’d bother you on Halloween with her hunger, how appropriate. “Moreso, just ask if you want to bite me.” 

Missy’s face dropping into an exaggerated frown, making a disappointed noise. “Oh you’re no fun. Fine, let me bite you.” She said it matter-of-factly, not even bothering to make it sound like a request. If she was quick with it, you wouldn’t have minded, but theatrical as she was, Missy was determined to always make a long show of it and tonight, for once, you had plans. 

“No, Missy, I’m busy.” There was a movie marathon calling your name tonight and being late was not on the agenda. In a moment of boldness, you tried to escape her cage, but to no avail. One strong hand shoved you brutally back into the door, the heel of her palm digging into your abdomen with so much force you knew she was bruising you. “That hurts-“

“And being rejected hurts. We’re in the same boat.” She was being a child, most likely because she hadn’t eaten in a while. She did look a little bit more pale than normal, but her strength was clearly still present so it couldn’t be too bad, still enough to make her irritable. “I am letting you live here even though you’re no help to me,” Missy stepped forward, pressing her body to yours and sandwiching you between her and the door, “The least you could do is help me once in a while.” Her fingers ran over your neck, checking your pulse, all the while staring deep into your hesitant eyes. How dangerous she looked shouldn’t have been as arousing as it was and yet...

You sighed, trying to play off much cooler than you were. She’d never hurt you out of malice, but what she was capable of always stuck in your mind whenever the two of you butt heads. “We both know that’s untrue.” Missy wouldn’t let you touch anything critical without supervision if you’d tried, but she enjoyed your presence and so did the TARDIS. She was the one to ask you to stay. “Would you like to come watch cheesy 80’s Halloween movies with me, Missy?” Maybe you could distract her long enough to get through a film or two if you held out long enough. Your arms wound around her waist despite her hand still painfully pinning you to the closed door; sometimes a hug softened her for a short moment. The bared teeth grin on her face no longer scared you for things such as this; she had the complex of a small dog. 

“What I would like is to mark up that pretty neck of yours.” Missy’s gaze fixed to your throat, seemingly entranced, slowly moving forward until her mouth was at the base of your neck. Her tongue marked out the exact spot she sought to feast on, she did bite, digging into your skin until you were whimpering, helplessly caught between her and the door, but you never felt the sharpest of her teeth. “I could've been done by now.” 

“You wouldn’t unless I say you can,” you wheezed, clinging to whatever resolve you had left. Determined as she was, she’d bide her time until you gave into her willingly. It tastes infinitely sweeter that way, Missy always claimed. You didn’t know if that were true, but it certainly gave you some leeway in persuading her to wait. 

Missy pulled away, her face still too close to be read properly, but the challenge was clear on her face, “Yes I would.” This back and forth game amused you; maybe you could have more fun than just your traditional movie night alone. It was Halloween after all, some new entertainment would be a treat. Missy faltered for a split second and you gave one good push back against her and thankfully, her hand eased long enough for you to move more freely. 

“No, Miss, you wouldn’t.” Hand fully out of your stomach, you pushed off of the wall with Missy still in your grasp. With a small kiss pressed into her hair, you released her and took a few steps backwards down the hallway until you were a safe distance away, not daring to break eye contact with her. “Now: movies with me or leave me alone?” You were being braver than usual and you didn’t know why, perhaps the late hour made you more ambivalent to Missy’s threats, but why she was letting you get away with it was a bigger mystery. One thing you loved about Missy is how plain emotions read on her face. It took awhile for her to open up to you in such a way, but now you could read her like a book and when her expression mellowed from irate to complacent, you knew you had her for at least a bit. “Is it a movie then?” She stalked past you without a word and you followed, knowing she’d find your room faster than you could. 

You only expected to watch one movie with her; she wasn’t obligated to watch an entire marathon deep into the night, especially with how harshly she judged them. “Why is she running towards the lake?” You sighed and slumped down, resting your head on her chest. Missy was nice enough to insist you lay on her while you two binged the constant stream of cheesy 80s horror and you certainly weren’t one to ever protest that.

“Why are you still watching if you’re so upset?” It wasn’t that the movies were good, per se, but they were in season and you watched them every year, just for tradition. Usually it was a solo activity, free from criticism, but this year you’d spent more and more time with Missy and after your latest harrowing adventure, she’d convinced you to stay aboard the TARDIS with her a while longer and before you knew it, October was upon you. You’d missed out on a lot of things this year for her, but this was one event you could still enjoy and you thought sharing this with her might be nice. “No one’s forcing you here.” 

Missy groaned, her head hitting the headboard as it fell backwards. “I can’t spend time with my little human? I didn’t know how badly you wanted me gone.” Her hurt voice made you wary, of course you wanted her around. Hardheaded as she could be, you did love her. 

“It’s not that, Miss, I just… watching these every year means a lot to me.” You craned your neck to press a kiss to the arm she’d draped over your chest hours ago, patting her soft skin lazily with a gentle hand. “I am enjoying watching them with you though, no matter how much you say you hate them.” 

Missy huffed, but pulled you into her nonetheless, kissing the top of your head. “Maybe I don’t despise them…but they are taking your attention away from me.” She nuzzled her nose into your hair, calm and sweet as opposed to the young teens being slashed at on screen. Missy would never say it, but spending time with someone else was a big reason she’d asked you to stay; you’d heard her talking to the Doctor about how lonely travel could get, especially when gone for long stretches of time. You’d missed her when she set off for what was supposed to be quick, but ended up as five months and when she asked you to come with her again, you did, not wanting to chance losing her again. Watching dated horror movies wasn’t together wasn’t top on the list of things you’d expected to do while aboard, but you wouldn’t complain. 

Once the third movie started though, it seemed all bets were off. It was innocent cuddling at first, giving you gentle squeezes every once in a while and whispering funny Jason Vorhees jokes into your ear whenever the film tried to be too dramatic, but she had ulterior motives. Once she judged your guard lowered enough, Missy slid her hand over your inner thigh, rubbing in small circles with her thumb in a way she knew all too well you had a weakness for. This was her game; she’d waited for hours until you were sleepy, effectively weakened from laying securely in her arms all evening, poised and ready for the perfect time to strike- and you’d fallen right into it. Asking her to sit through a movie she had no interest in, why would she ever agree. No, she was interested in you or really, what you could provide for her. The hand not poised for attack at your hips now held your upper body securely against her where it had once been a lazy, comforting hold and as you tried to push yourself up and wiggle away, you realized you were effectively caught. “You can’t be serious.” 

“Serious as a funeral, my darling.” Her mouth still rested behind the shell of your ear and you could feel her predatory grin as she slipped past the stretchy waistband of your loose sweatpants. “Now, I’ve indulged you in your little Halloween fun, I think it’s my turn now, don’t you?” Mostly you were mad at yourself for falling into yet another one of her traps; you thought you’d diverted her, maybe that she’d given in and that was your fault. It was all you could do to try and focus on the television, but even there teens were hiding away in a barn to make out despite the murderer still on the loose. “Maybe if I take you out to a secluded lake like them, I could have you all to myself. Wouldn’t that be nice?” 

You rolled your eyes noncommittally, much too distracted with how she was bunching your shirt into her hand, exposing your nipples to the cold air. “No, you only have me on a spaceship floating throughout the galaxy, too many other people to daydream about here.” Missy would drop you off in the middle of nowhere just to keep you to herself and the concept was way too appealing. 

“And yet you wouldn’t give me what I wanted,” she tsked, grabbing at your breast and rolling the tight bud under the cool pad of her thumb. “How disappointing.” It was awful really, how quickly and efficiently Missy could manipulate you like you were her own treasured piano. Your friends, Bill especially, would laugh if they saw how easily you folded for someone you were so heavily warned about, but it was worth it. “And here I thought you’d be my good girl.” 

“Missy-” She cut you off with a tug on the ear with her teeth, making you hiss. Movie all but forgotten, you wiggled under her, trying to shift your hips against her fingers to no avail, whimpering to an unsympathetic ear. She pinched hard at your flesh as a warning and you stopped squirming immediately. “Please? I’ll be good, promise.” You tilted your head to lock eyes with her, pleading silently for her to finally touch you properly and meeting only a borderline sadistic smile, you knew all was going according to her plan. 

Her fingers went wandering down your abdomen, a gentle touch turned harsh as she scratched her blunt nails back up, leaving bright red lines and spotty drops of blood in their wake. “Pleasee, I’ll be good, promise.” Missy was mocking you, taunting your change of tune from earlier that evening; she did that when she was particularly unforgiving, mocked you for giving into her. “You, dear girl, are lucky that I’m so nice.” Not the word you’d use to describe being lured into a trap with short-term domestic bliss, but nevertheless, you shuddered when she grabbed you through your underwear and as hard as you thought about putting up a fight, the idea of just melting into Missy and letting her take you over for however long she wanted was so hard to resist. So you didn’t. “Open up for your mistress, dear.” 

You did as she said, parting your legs to a sugar laced that’s a good pet that had you wetter than you’d ever admit and lithe finger slid past elastic fabric and over slick folds. “Don’t you ever get tired of getting exactly what you want?” It didn’t sound nearly as daring as you’d like, but it was all you could manage. A singular sure fingertip circled around your clit, teasing until your thighs twitched for her.

“Hmm..” Missy pondered, tapping her fingertips against you as you thought, “nope!” She slammed into you, two fingers deep, giggling at your surprised yelp as she stretched you with her curling digits. “Quite love it this way.” You bent your knees, planting your feet into the mattress for any kind of purchase against the sudden rapid assault below. There was no need for teasing tonight; Missy had you where she needed, now she wanted you riled and wanton, begging for her as soon as humanly possible and it wouldn’t take her long at all. 

In a matter of moments you were breathless, on the verge of collapse, clinging to Missy’s legs on either side of you, aching for her presence to ground you even as she mercilessly thrust into you. “Missy, I am begging you, just please-“ She expertly wrenched every moan and cry you could offer her, reveling in the power she held over you, but she wasn’t done yet. 

“Ooh, desperate now, are we?” Soft lips grazed over your neck, calm and cool where your blood pumped hot and fast, trying desperately to keep up. “Let me taste you and I’ll give you whatever you could possibly want.” You knew you were going to let her; it was a matter of when instead of if, especially as she held your orgasm in her hands. There was a pain that came with it, you knew from experience, but it was worth it for the thrill that came right after. Missy didn’t bite you often for your own good, she didn’t need to anyways, but when she wanted to, well, she always found a way. “I’ll clean up after, no mess this time.” Occasionally she left you bloody simply for the aesthetic of it all and you complained of ruined clothes and sheets, but honestly tonight you didn’t care either way. 

Your nod was barely there, easily could’ve been mistaken for just a twitch, but she understood. With a reverent kiss over the hickey she’d made in the hallway hours before, sharp fangs pressed into the thin skin of your neck, piercing with the swift accuracy of a needle. It hurt just like you remembered, but Missy was shushing you before you could cry out, cupping your head with her free hand, thumb brushing over your flushed cheek as an implied I love you while she held you close against her mouth. You were coming before you realized, overwhelmed with the combined rush of endorphins from her bite and the orgasm she tore mercilessly from your body. It should be impossible to feel this blissful, possessed, and so deeply wanted at the same time and yet… You made a passing note to your future self that you didn’t know why you ever resisted this at all- but then you realized she was forever intent on taking every ounce she could from you before you passed out. “You’re going to kill me…” 

She would never, not really. The first time you agreed, you were sure she’d quite literally bleed you dry, but she was careful, always in tune to when you’d given enough. Missy pulled away as you came down from your high, the dreaded sting on your neck promptly soothed over by her wet tongue. “Don’t be dramatic, you’re fine. I could do a lot more.” And she could, but she loved you and you amused her so she wouldn’t. If you had more control you’d reach to kiss those blood red lips, but you felt akin to a pile of jelly and it was all you could do to hazily smile in her general direction. Thankfully, Missy was aware how ‘lovey’ you could be and pressed her lips to yours, granting you a purposely messy kiss. You could feel her grin before she pulled back, fingers also slipping from you and placing them on your lips. She tapped your wet, parted lips until you let her in, sucking on instinct. “Be a good girl and suck, maybe I’ll let you come again.”

#missy x reader #missy/reader #gomez!master x reader #doctor who imagine #the master x reader #yes hi hello I've written this and it's my first published reader fic #soooo #my fic.

[mutalune]

Hey! I hope November is treating you better than October! (Other than the first tuesday. It lasted like a whole week! Crazy!) Do you have any branching stories of your AU? Like would Izuku’s birthday phone call have happened in the original universe? What if Aizawa had a password from Nedzu so he could approach him early? That the time travel aspect of your fic was so ... ill-prepared? is absolutely fascinating. Finally, yours is so good that I’m even recounting it to Datemate! Ihopethismakesit!

first off plz tell your datemate that i said hi because that’s so fucking cute and i hope they’re enjoying the recounting

second off november is going MILES better than october thank you so much for the well-wishes <3

third off thank you??? for your kind words???? seriously appreciate it so much <3

okay onto the fun stuff - i don’t have anything written that’s branching off from the AU, but i have Ideas if you’re interested in hearing them!! (i’m gonna try not to spoil future things in my fic and not give too much away but i’m also Dumb so read at your own risk lmao)

izuku and his dad - AU vs OU

in general, the way i view a lot of the stuff with izuku’s dad is that if izuku had been even a teensy-bit more genuine with his dad in the Original Universe, his relationship with his dad would be way different than the Original Universe. i see the OU relationship between them as unmatured - Hisashi cared about izuku in the OU as well, but he never looked deeper into izuku’s life other than a cursory “oh he’s doing well, his grades are good, he’s healthy, he made it into the high school he wanted.”

and that’s because in the OU, izuku only had all might and his mom as role models. Inko gave him kindness and strength and determination. all might gave him hope and something to aspire towards.

all of that makes the wonderful being that is Canon Deku and i do adore that boy, but Hisashi does Not Like All Might and he wouldn’t be able to handle a tiny deku’s gushing over the hero that destroyed his quality of life. and deku hadn’t been socialized enough to talk about anything EXCEPT all might or heroes - a consequence of having no friends except your busy working mom.

so even if izuku had been open in the OU to a relationship with hisashi (which i don’t think he was, because i think without aizawa there to help him be confident, he would default to protecting himself and hiding and he wouldn’t have the safety of aizawa’s love/support to shield him from if hisashi had rejected him in any way - better to stay away than risk getting hurt and rejected by the only other adult that was semi-obligated to give a damn about him) - i don’t think hisashi would’ve been open to it himself

(i think i said this in an A/N somewhere but i have literally no idea of when AFO and all might had their Big Blowout Fight in canon, so for my purposes, it happened pre-fic when izuku was 6 lmao)

Hisashi has some amount of trauma from that fight - who wouldn’t after losing their sight and most of their face? - the same that all might does, even if we don’t see all might explore that very much. and as someone who has her own trauma, i know i go into “AVOID!!!! AVOID AT ALL COSTS!!!!” mode when i come across any kind of trigger.

multiply that by 100x because it’s Your Son who You Adore More Than Anything Even If You Don’t Know Him That Well Because You Also Have Family Trauma - yeah, i can’t imagine hisashi being comfortable with more than the bare minimum kind of relationship with his all might fanboy son.

SO THAT WAS A REALLY LONG WAY OF SAYING: yes, the phone call would’ve happened, but it would have been:

“hey happy birthday”

“thanks”

“how’s school”

“it’s fine. how’s america”

“it’s fine. americans, ya know.”

*awkward silence*

“okay talk to you next year.”

regarding nedzu and aizawa

honestly that’s one of those things i hadn’t even considered when writing this fic if i’m being honest. like the whole reason i started thinking about writing this fic was “how can i give aizawa a tiny izuku to protect and care for without killing inko or making her a Terrible Mother” because that was most of the fics i was seeing (which are all still fun to read don’t get me wrong but i like inko and i like writing women and i am a lesbian who Loves Women!!!!) and i just started writing and THEN made the plot and actual details fit with the first 5 chapters i wrote lmao

i think, though, that nedzu is such a wildcard. like i haven’t read the manga so maybe he’s more understandable in that, but it seems to me like his motivations aren’t very clear. he’s not really a dumbledore-type figure in my eyes - he’s not the general of the battle against the LOV, even if he has authority and has a position and has the intelligence, ya know?

he’s very inscrutable to me, and he has his own bias and own motivations that are intriguing to consider - but i can’t imagine aizawa trusting a past-version of nedzu to work towards the same goals he’s working towards.

like, aizawa thinks he’s logical. but at the end of the day, i write him as a “loved ones comes first, the world comes second” character. and whether he can admit it to himself or not, he knows that nedzu would put the world first.

and it would scare him that nedzu might see izuku (or any of his students, or hizashi, or nemuri) as expendable if that means avoiding the future aizawa came from. with nedzu being as smart as he is and as inscrutable as he is, aizawa could end up as his pawn towards whatever *nedzu* thinks is the best course of action, even if he was completely honest with nedzu.

this is something that i don’t think has come up yet, but aizawa *knows* he’s not the smartest guy. like he knows he’s not an idiot, but he knows that hizashi is WAY smarter than him, and he knows that he wouldn’t be able to beat nedzu in a game of checkers, let alone a life-size game of war.

i could see a version where aizawa gets all might’s help and has some sort of “i know this thing that you never told anyone else, i’m from the future, help” type of password, or i could see him doing it with just about any other pro-hero or any of his students, but i really can’t see a version where he would enlist nedzu first. i think he would want to set some of his plans in motion that even with all of his intelligence, nedzu wouldn’t be able to stop.

(does aizawa even have plans? no he doesn’t, which means he would wait to involve nedzu until he came up with a plan, but he can’t come up with a plan b/c he is Not a Strategic Thinker, so he keeps fixing small problems and saying that when he comes up with a plan he’ll call nedzu, and then he’s fighting the LOV singlehandedly because he’s a moron.)

aizawa isn’t a big picture guy, to me. he’s the best and worst person to send back in time because of it lmao - he’s the best because he is smart and sneaky and (if he had all of the right information) he would find the easiest, quickest solution. he’s the worst because he would be the guy who, given the chance to go back in time and stop someone from destroying the world, he would go “okay i’ll just kill that guy before he becomes a Big Huge Villain” and then not realize “oh wait that just means someone else will step in a fill the void and now i don’t know who that guy is so that’ll be harder and all of my future knowledge is For Nothing” (cough CHISAKI cough)

WOW THIS IS SO LONG i hope if you read it all the way to the end you enjoyed my babbling or at least didn’t hate it enough that you won’t ever open my fic ever again~

in all seriousness, thank you for your ask and thank you for giving me a chance to babble about some of this stuff because i have BIG OPINIONS and a lot of thought has gone into this AU and what the OU of my AU (that is in and of itself a canon divergence/AU of canon lmao) would look like. it was really fun to dive into this onto a medium that isn’t just another document on my google drive~

i hope you’re having a lovely november and if you do anything for the holiday season, you have fun with it~! (also plz feel free to stop in and chat more/ask more if you want to!!! i’m trying to be better about being on tumblr more often lol)

#shmoo92 #starlight fandom #starlight ask #starlight personal #you are a sweetheart and i had so much fun writing this ngl #hope this actually answered your questions i didn't really check to see if i stayed on prompt lmaooo #i could talk about aizawa all day tbh i Love This Tired Man

[magicalmonsterhero]

Marvel One-Shots: Thunderstruck

Part of a series inspired by the like-named set of short films (The Consultant, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Thor’s Hammer, Item 47, Agent Carter, & All Hail the King)

Norway, May 2021

(Open with a shot of Eric Masterson standing on a cliff, looking out at the sea. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, inhaling the scent of salt water as wind blows through his hair.)

Eric: Kevin and I miss you, Marcy. Wish you were still with us.

(As he opens his eyes, he hears a young boy’s voice.)

Young boy (offscreen): Dad, c’mere!

(Eric turns to see his ten-year-old son Kevin crouching in front of something a short distance away. Once he gets closer, he can see several shards of metal lying in a heap in the grass.)

Eric: Never seen this kind of metal before...at least I don’t think I have.

Kevin: Hey, wait a minute...

(He picks up one of the shards, being careful not to cut himself, and holds it up so Eric can see part of a trinity knot is etched into it. Eric’s eyes widen, and he searches through the pile until he finds another piece with the rest of the symbol.)

Eric: Thor’s hammer...but how?

(MCUOS)

Masterson apartment, November 2026

(Shot of Kevin, now 15 or 16, sitting at a table doing homework. Eric enters, carrying a bag of Mexican takeout.)

Eric: I’m too worn out to cook. Hope you don’t mind Rosita’s.

Kevin: Nah, it’s OK. Are those demolition guys still giving you problems?

(Eric nods.)

Eric: I don’t get why they keep trying to stop this specific building’s construction. What’s so important about that spot?

Kevin: Maybe it’s a mob hitman’s dumping ground?

(Eric opens his mouth to answer, but before he can say anything, there’s a loud crash. The two spin around to see four men in demolition worker’s clothing standing outside, one of them having broken down the door with a crowbar.)

Crowbar Guy: We warned ya, Masterson. Now we’re gonna show ya what happens to guys who ignore us.

Eric: Damnit! Run, Kevin!

(As Kevin hides under the table, Eric dives for the toolbox sitting underneath a poster of Thor. He pulls out a nail gun, looking at it briefly before tossing it aside and grabbing a hammer instead. As he fights off three of the men, the guy with the crowbar begins looking around in search of something.)

Crowbar Guy: Gotta be here somewhere. Think, Dirk, think!

(Behind him, there’s a cry of pain—one of Dirk’s buddies stepped on the nail gun and got a nail in his foot. He drops to the floor, his knife carelessly thrown aside as he grabs his foot and tries to pull the nail out. The knife hits the poster and makes a tear as it falls to the ground, revealing there’s something behind it. Dirk grins as he approaches the wall and tears down the poster, revealing a safe. He uses his crowbar to pry it open, grin widening as he sees what’s inside—the fragments of Mjolnir.)

Dirk: Yes!

(Eric, having knocked out the other two goons, turns sharply to see Dirk reaching into the safe.)

Eric: NO!

(He lunges forward, shoving Dirk to one side. As he does so, he unintentionally strikes one of the fragments with the head of his hammer. There is a brilliant flash, and when it clears, Eric finds himself wearing armor very similar to Thor's--albeit with a jacket instead of a cape--and holding a formidable-looking mace reminiscent of Mjolnir. Eric, clearly caught off guard by the unexpected transformation, briefly looks himself over. Unfortunately, Dirk quickly recovers, and grabs Kevin by the hair, pulling him out from under the table.)

Dirk: I don't know where that He-Man impression came from, but if you don't hand over the rest of those pieces...

(Kevin tries to kick Dirk in the groin, but hits his leg instead. Dirk grunts in pain and lets go of Kevin, who drops to the floor and rolls out of the way. Seizing the opportunity, Eric hurls the mace at Dirk, sending him into the wall and knocking him out. With the danger gone, Eric crouches down next to his son, catching the mace as it flies back to him.)

Eric: Are you all right?

Kevin: I think so.

(The two get to their feet, then turn to look at the remaining fragments.)

Kevin: What do you think they want with those?

Eric: I don't know. But we can't keep them here anymore.

(MCUOS)

New Asgard, November 2026

(Shot of Eric and Kevin walking through New Asgard alongside Valkyrie and a handsome young-looking man with dark hair. Eric is carrying what looks like a walking stick under one arm, using the other to keep a duffel bag from sliding off his shoulder.)

Valkyrie: You were here about five years ago, weren't you?

Eric: I thought Thor would want his hammer back, even if it's in pieces. But that big rock guy told us he didn't want to see anyone.

Dark-haired man: That's no surprise--first Asgard gets destroyed by Surtur, then Thanos kills half the survivors, and then half of all life is wiped out. No one could go through all of that and not take it badly.

(They reach the house where Bruce and Rocket found Thor, but rather than entering, they go around to the back. Eric sets down the duffel bag and steps back a bit.)

Eric: You might want to cover your eyes.

(Kevin and the dark-haired man oblige. Eric strikes his cane against the ground, transforming into his 'Asgardian' form with a flash of light that briefly blinds Valkyrie. She blinks to clear her vision, then lets out a whistle.)

Valkyrie: Damn, I had no idea uru could do that!

Eric: It was a shock to me, too. Unfortunately, I have no idea how to remove it. Otherwise, you'd probably be able to put it back together.

Dark-haired man: Even if we could remove the uru, I personally wouldn't. The world still needs heroes, and with Thor being who-knows-where...

Kevin: Well, it's not like there aren't others. I mean, there's the new Captain America, for one.

Valkyrie: Balder's right, though. More heroes just means the world's that much safer.

(Eric gives a sigh, then turns to gaze up at the sky.)

Eric: You probably can't hear me, thunder god, but if this is how it's meant to be...I won't let you down.

(Cut to a woman with long black hair, dressed in a long black and violet gown and bedecked with gold and amethyst jewelry, watching Eric in a mirror.)

Woman: I should have known better than to rely on mere mortals to retrieve Mjolnir's fragments for me. Yet, until my beloved comes to free me, I must remain in this realm of shadows.

(The image in the mirror zooms out to show Balder and Eric sparring.)

Woman: Much as I am glad to see that you no longer seek to regain the love of that wretched Foster woman, and that you remember who you truly are, it concerns me that you have not yet come to set me free. But I will wait for you, as long as it takes, and once we are together again, I shall rule the surviving Realms with you at my side. So swears Karnilla!

#marvel cinematic universe #thunderstrike #oneshots #fanfiction #eric masterson #transcript #fan film

[waitineedaname]

Mystery Next-Door

my @homestuckss gift for @culturalbloominggirl!! I heard “jaderose” and “small towns” and my brain screamed “CHILDHOOD FRIENDS” so here we are! I hope you like it, and happy holidays <3

also on ao3

-

Jade Harley was the mystery next-door. 

She moved in on a crisp, cloudy November day with a multitude of overstuffed boxes, an older man with a moustache, and a large white dog. 

Rose Lalonde was immediately fascinated.

Like any curious six year old, she asked her mother a million and one questions. Who were they? Would their dog eat Jaspers? Why does she live with her grandfather and not her parents? 

Her mother, nursing a migraine, answered to the best of her ability. They're the Harleys, hun. I don't think their dog is going to eat Jaspers. I don't know why she lives with her grandpa. Why don't you go play with John and let mommy take a nap?

Rose put on her sneakers -- a point of pride that she could do it herself and John couldn't, even though they were the same age -- and left the house to give her mom some peace and quiet. She did not, however, turn in the direction of the Egbert house at the end of the block. Instead, she turned right and marched right up to the Harleys' front door.

With all the grown-up politeness she could muster, she rang their doorbell and waited. Behind the door, she heard a bright voice yell "I'll get it!" followed by the stomping of a child barreling down the stairs. In an instant, the door opened to reveal a young girl with a mess of dark hair and thick glasses.

"Hello," Rose said, attempting to put on the tone she heard her mother use when she had to be professional. "I'm Rose Lalonde. I live next-door."

The girl's mouth made a tiny "o" then split into a big grin. "Hi Rose! I'm Jade!"

Rose suddenly realized she had not planned this far ahead. "Um. Do you want to come out and play?"

"Yeah!" Jade's glee was evident. She turned to shout inside the house. "Grandpa! I'm going to play outside!"

"Bring Becquerel with you!" came her grandfather's answering shout. Jade giggled and stuck her fingers in her mouth to let out a sharp whistle. Rose blanched as she heard the clacking of claws as the large white dog she'd seen when they moved in came charging at Jade, bowling her to the ground. Jade shrieked with laughter, hugging the dog around its neck as he licked all over her face.

"Bec! No! Sit!" She laughed, eventually squirming out from underneath the dog. "Do you wanna pet him?" She asked, mistaking Rose's wide eyes for excitement instead of mild panic.

"...Does he bite?" Rose asked hesitantly. 

"No! He's a very good boy. Right, Bec?" Bec let out a deafening bark in response.

Filled with too much pride and curiosity to back down now, Rose outstretched a hand towards Bec. He sniffed her curiously, then licked her palm, startling a laugh out of her. Rose satisfied herself with a few pets behind his ears, then stepped back.

"Come on." Rose said, gesturing for Jade to follow her. "I'll show you the creek."

--

The creek was a staple of Rose's childhood. She and John had discovered it just outside their neighborhood on one of their first excursions together. It was just removed enough to give them the giddy feeling of freedom that rowdy children crave, while still being within shouting distance of their parents. It had been their place for years, and from the moment Jade first visited it with Rose, it was her place too. 

Jade was incorporated into their group immediately, morphing their duo into a trio with little fuss, and now that they were eight and all thick as thieves, it was hard to remember a time when she wasn't around.

The creek was the site of countless formative moments for the three of them. It was where Jade lost her first baby tooth. It was where John learned what poison ivy was. And it was where Rose realized her first crush.

It was a warm August evening, one of the few left of summer before they'd have to go back to school. Fireflies were lighting up the trees around them, and Jade had decided they should hunt for frogs.

Jade was far better at that kind of thing than John and Rose. Before her, most of their trips to the creek involved pretending to be wizards or Ghostbusters, balancing on the dryer rocks and pretending to blast each other with sticks. Jade was the one to introduce them to a brand new form of playtime found in collecting fireflies in their palms and chasing after lizards until they were out of breath and learning how to climb trees.

As expected, Jade managed to find twice as many frogs as them. Each pocket of her overalls gently cradled a frog, and her hands were slimy from all the ones she'd caught and let free. John had caught two, but they had both jumped out of his hands when he'd squealed with laughter at the cold feeling they left on his palms.

Rose had yet to catch a single one, and quite frankly, she was getting a little frustrated. 

“I dunno Rose, I think they must just have something against you.” John teased when the fifth frog in three minutes hopped out of her reach. She sent him a glare, and he grinned at her, full of playful meanness built on a friendship formed in toddlerhood. 

“How about I catch one for you?” Jade offered.

“I don’t need a pity frog.” Rose protested, but Jade was already splashing towards one of the banks of the creek. “Really, I don’t mind. Who am I to steal a hapless amphibian from his watery home? If he wants to continue his boring existence behind an algae-ridden rock, that’s his prerogative. In fact, I’m probably better off than you two because I’m not risking infecting my hands with a million frog diseases.”

“‘Bluh, I’m Rose and I read the thesaurus for fun and I think frogs are gross.’” John mimicked, pitching his voice up even though Rose was fairly certain his voice was already higher than hers. She huffed, and both John and Jade snickered. John plopped down in the mud on the side of the creek and started poking around for interesting rocks buried in the muck, and Rose contemplated joining him before Jade cried out in victory a few feet down.

“Got one!” Jade held her loosely clasped hands up and dashed back over to them as quickly as she could without slipping. “Okay, hold your hands like a little cup.” She instructed Rose.

Rose obliged, and Jade slid the frog into Rose’s waiting hands, quickly putting her own hands around Rose’s to guide her in closing her hands just enough to keep the frog from jumping out without crushing it in the process. Rose stared down at the creature peeking out between her thumbs, mystified. It wasn’t necessarily holding the frog that was getting to her, though the feeling of its rapid heartbeat against her palm was exciting. It was the realization that Jade had caught this frog specifically as a gift for her, and it was the feeling of Jade’s warm, dirt-covered hands wrapped around her own. It was looking up at Jade’s face and seeing her proud, buck-toothed grin, and it was the twigs that had inexplicably found their way into Jade’s curls, and it was the fireflies and dusk light painting flickering colors on Jade’s cheeks.

Rose’s heart leaped into her throat, and she suddenly found it harder to breathe.

In the exact same instant, the frog took advantage of her lapse in focus and took a leap of its own. The sudden movement startled Rose, and she yelped, stumbling backwards. Her foot skidded on the stone behind her, and she let out a sharp scream as she fell into the creekbed.

“Rose!” John and Jade shouted in unison, scrambling to help her up. They both took her by the upper arms and helped her to her feet, and she cried out in pain when the bruise rapidly forming on her hip made it hurt to stand. Her elbows were scraped from catching her fall, and the tears filling her eyes made her more pissed off than anything else. She wasn’t a little kid, she shouldn’t be crying about falling over anymore.

“I’ll get her mom!” John said, already sprinting in the direction of their houses, shouting, “Ms. Lalonde, Ms. Lalonde!”

“Do you want me to help you walk?” Jade offered gently. Rose sucked in a breath and willed the tears back into their ducts. She nodded and Jade wrapped her arm around Rose’s shoulders, guiding her out of the creek.

The bruise hurt like the dickens for the rest of the week, and her mother tsked when she saw the grime in her scrapes, but for a reason Rose couldn’t quite fathom, it was all made okay by Jade’s arm wrapped tight around her.

--

“I dunno Rosie, should I be worried about you goin’ to a sleepover with a boy?”

“Please, mother,” Rose rolled her eyes when she knew her mom couldn’t see them, emptying her backpack onto her bed, “It’s John. He doesn’t count.”

“Hm.” Her mother hummed a vague agreement from where she was leaning against Rose’s door frame. Rose knew her concerns about the sleepover were largely performative; she’d slept over at the Egbert house dozens of times before. “Isn’t that other boy going to be there? David or something?”

“Dave?” Rose scoffed, shoving pajamas into her bag. “As if I’d sink that low.”

“Aw, that’s mean.” She heard her mother sniff, and there was a beat of silence that Rose used to debate whether or not to bring any books. “I guess that just leaves Jade.”

Rose’s head snapped over to look at her for the first time in the conversation. She hadn’t mentioned her crush on Jade once in the four years she’d had it, and her mother hadn’t ever asked about it beyond superficial questions about whether she liked anyone at school. Despite that, there was inexplicably sharp look in her mother’s eyes, like she knew more than she was telling. She lifted her perfectly painted lips in a slight smile, then pushed herself upright off the door frame.

“Make sure to pack a toothbrush, okay sweetie?” She said, already halfway down the hall. Rose stared after her, speechless for a moment, then shook herself out of her stupor. She finished packing in a rush, and left with a farewell shout over her shoulder.

The walk to the Egbert house was one that Rose knew better than any other path, except perhaps the walk from her bedroom to the bathroom. She’d been playing at his house since before she could draw on a definite memory, and she and Jade had been sleeping over since their families had deemed them old enough. The only new player in their routine was Dave, who’d showed up at their middle school in sixth grade and immediately attached to John like glue, which of course meant getting attached to Rose and Jade in the process. The three of them were a package deal, and he was fortunate enough to be the right variety of awkwardly charming to fit right in.

Mr. Egbert was happy to host John’s friends, as always, and he was just as eager to embarrass him as well. As soon as they were all settled, he insisted on pulling out the photo albums under the excuse that it was Dave’s first time staying over, so he had to see them.

“Dad,” John complained, weakly trying to tug the photo album away from his father, “They don’t want to see that, come on. We’re just gonna go upstairs and watch movies, right guys?” He looked at his friends, hoping they’d back him up. He was immediately disappointed.

“I’d love to see baby pictures, thank you Mr. Egbert.” Rose said, smirking at John.

“Yeah, come on dude, Shrek can wait, I gotta catch a peep at these incriminatin’ pics.” Dave added immediately. “Who knows the next time I’ll get to see ‘em. Your whole house could burn down tomorrow, and I’d never have seen the dang things. I could spontaneously go blind in like three minutes and I’d be like ‘god, screw the Mona Lisa and sunsets, the thing I miss the most is being able to see my goober of a friend lookin’ even more like a goober because his brain was the size of a softball and he didn’t have the self awareness to know not to eat his own feet.’ All I’m saying, bro, is you gotta cherish your sight when you’ve still got it, y’feel me?”

“Oh! Mr. Egbert, you should show Dave that picture of John with the shaving cream!” Jade suggested helpfully.

“Yes, you absolutely should show me that one, oh my god, that was the best string of words you could possibly put together.” Dave was all but vibrating with restrained delight. John wailed dramatically and flopped backwards onto the couch.

“You’re all the worst. Sleepover cancelled, you can all go home. I hate you all.” He complained, face buried in his hands.

“We do this because we love you.” Rose said, patting his knee condescendingly. He slid his fingers off half of his glasses to glare at her. She considered laying the condescension on thicker, but she was interrupted by an outburst from Dave’s direction.

“Oh shi- shoot -- sorry Mr. E -- Rose, you’re in one of these.”

“What?” Rose squeezed in between Jade and Dave and discovered, to her horror, a picture of herself and John. Neither of them were any older than three, and they seemed to have raided each other’s dress-up chests. John was wearing an enormous grin and a tutu that Rose vaguely remembered her mother buying her when she was quite young, and Rose had donned a clip-on tie and was drowning in what she could only guess were Mr. Egbert’s shoes. She gaped in horror, and Dave laughed next to her. 

“Dude, look at you! Rose Lalonde: Business Toddler.” Dave shoved her playfully, and Rose felt she suddenly understood Cain when she pushed him back hard enough to make him stumble.

"I think you look cute!" Jade said, peering over Rose's shoulder. Embarrassment blended with flattery to create a smoothie of confusion in Rose's brain.

"Are we done?" John complained, still doing his best to merge with the couch cushions. His dad chuckled and nodded, shutting the photo album and waving them off. That was all the encouragement John needed to jump to his feet and practically teleport up the stairs, his friends hot on his heels.

Their attempt to marathon Shrek was mostly an excuse to hang out, and it made a pleasant backdrop to whatever shenaniganry they wanted to get up to that evening, which ranged from breaking out the nail polish Rose had swiped from her mother's stash to a slightly ridiculous game of would-you-rather. The evening passed in a happy rush and before Rose knew it, the moon was high in the sky and they were all snuggled into their sleeping bags. 

John was snoring gently, his hands stuck out of the sleeping bag because he'd been worried about smudging Rose's handiwork on his nails. Dave was the quietest any of them had ever heard him and still as a statue. Rose, however, couldn't get comfortable. She rolled and shifted and shoved her arm under her pillow and attempted to curl into a ball. No dice.

She was beginning to consider abandoning her sleeping bag to sleep in John's bed and deal with his bitching in the morning, but Jade's sleepy whisper stopped her.

"Rose?" She mumbled. Rose went still. "Are you still awake?"

"Unfortunately." Rose muttered back. "Sorry if I woke you."

"Mn, it's okay. I wasn't asleep." The grogginess in her voice made Rose suspect she might be lying, but she didn't call her on it. There was shuffling from Jade's direction, and Rose looked up to see Jade crawling out of her bag and grabbing her glasses. "Do you wanna go get some water?"

"...Sure." It wasn't like she was having any success languishing in her sleeping bag. Rose wiggled free of her plasticky cocoon, and the two padded out of the room as quietly as they could manage.

No matter how familiar the house was, Rose found that it always seemed different when all the lights were off and everyone was asleep. Not eerie like her ostentatiously decorated house or Jade's drafty old home -- she doubted the Egbert house could seem anything but homey -- but still strange, like she'd stepped into another dimension just by being up at an odd hour. 

They filled up their glasses with water -- Jade laughing when Rose accidentally closed the cabinets loudly and grimaced -- and then Jade was tugging her towards the door. 

"Come on. Let's look at the stars!" How could Rose say no to a request like that? Jade chose a spot in the grass with an amusing level of concentration, and she tugged Rose down to sit with her. Rose tried to give her a respectable amount of personal space, but Jade squished against her side immediately. Rose prayed the dim light from the moon hid her blush, but Jade wasn't paying attention, eyes on the sky.

"How much do you know about astronomy?" Jade asked, tone serious despite the contentedness on her face.

"I know the basics of what we learned in science class, and the names of a few constellations. Ursa major and minor, Orion, Sagittarius…" Rose trailed off. "I'm afraid I don't know where they are in the sky, though."

Jade hummed and tucked her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on her Squiddles-patterned pants and smiling up at the sky. "Grandpa bought me an astronomy book for kids for my sixth birthday. I read it all in one day and then insisted we go to the library so I could check out as many books about it as possible. I ended up reading books as big as I was," she said with a laugh. Rose snorted. She could imagine it so clearly: tiny little Jade, nose buried in a book about astrophysics.

"Well?" Rose challenged. "Share your knowledge, o scholar of the cosmos."

Jade giggled and studied the sky for a moment. She pointed first at a string of stars low in the sky. "That's Orion. You can tell by the three stars there, see? That's his belt. And over there is Monoceros, the unicorn."

Rose squinted in the direction Jade's finger pointed, but she couldn't see much other than Orion's belt. "How did the ancient Greeks come up with these names? A unicorn seems like something of a stretch."

Jade shrugged. "I don't know. It must have held some kind of meaning to them." She lifted her chin off her knees and instead laid her head on Rose's shoulder. "I think it's kind of amazing, really. I mean, they are just stars, billions of miles apart, but they looked into the sky and found something important to them. Don't you think that's beautiful?"

Rose took great care in keeping her breath even and not flinching away from how close Jade was. She pretended she was talking about the stars above her and not the ones she spied reflecting off Jade's glasses when she murmured, "Yes, very beautiful."

The soft smile that great on Jade's face made her suspect that maybe she knew what Rose meant anyway.

When they finally climbed the stairs back to the bedroom and whispered their goodnights, Rose fell asleep with stars under her eyelids.

--

Jade was the girl next-door, and Rose was hopelessly in love with her. It was a horrible cliche, and Rose had long since gone through all the stages of grief upon realizing she’d fallen into the cheesiest romantic trope fathomable. She’d been in the acceptance stage for a long time, if “acceptance” were synonymous with “resigning oneself to pining for years.” But dammit, Rose was sick of pining, and she was sick of trying to hide her crush. As much as she hated to admit it, she needed advice.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me. Eight goddamn years?”

Maybe she should’ve gone to someone else for advice.

“You promised you wouldn’t laugh.”

“I’m not laughing.” Dave said, as if his shiteating grin weren’t just as bad. “God, I just need to savor this moment. You always tried to act like I was the mess in our group, but the whole time it’s been you.”

“Oh please, do not act like you aren’t guilty of your own pining.”

“Nuh-uh, nope, we’re not bringing this back around to me. We’re focusing on you bein’ a fucking disaster. Oh my god, you’re a disaster lesbian, how am I just now realizing this.” He leaned on the steering wheel of his car, holding back giggles.

Rose picked up a fry from the center console and hit his forehead with deadly accuracy. “If you continue to mock me without any attempt to help, I swear to every unholy deity ever fathomed by the human mind, I will dump this milkshake on your lap and send a picture to Karkat.”

“What? No, come on, that’s such an overreaction.” He said, leaning out of reach.

“There’s no such thing as an overreaction to you breaking the rules of our Burger King sessions.”

“Our Burger King sess- Bro, what? There have never been any fucking rules. These fast food seshes started ‘cause you got a goddamn coupon and I’m the only chump you know with a car. They just turned into a warped form of cheap therapy because you’re you. I don’t have to solve this.” 

Rose took the lid off her milkshake.

“Okay, jesus, I’ll help.” Dave tucked his legs up and leaned even further away.

“Thank you. How gentlemanly.” She calmly slid the lid back on her shake and took a sip from it.

“Yeah, you know me, all kinds of fuckin’ chivalrous. Always opening doors and helping blind ladies cross the street and giving disaster lesbians tips on how to deal with a crush they’ve had for almost a literal decade because clearly I’m the guy that can give advice on how to ask girls out even though I’ve literally never had a girlfriend, like what the hell’s up with that-”

“Dave.”

“Right, got it.” He sobered out of his ramble and grabbed a fistful of fries to eat while he thought. “What exactly are you askin’ me for?”

“Please, Strider. Use your brain. I know that might be a tall order considering the likelihood that it has lain dormant and collecting dust since the last time you used it for anything other than video games and inane comics, but even you must have some modicum of sense buried within your subconscious.”

“Yeah, you’re doing a real great job making me want to help.” She could tell he was rolling his eyes behind his shades, and it took all her willpower not to throw another fry at him. “Look, I say just tell her. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“She could look me dead in the eyes and tell me she hates me with every fiber of her being. She has simply been pretending to like me for the past several years, but unfortunately, she finds my personality draining. In fact, spending any prolonged amount of time with me makes her feel like her soul is developing necrosis, and she has already filed a restraining order. I resign myself to packing my bags and moving to the coldest corner of Alaska to live out the rest of my days in complete isolation, feasting on the flesh of moose who, similarly, I destroy from the inside out by simply existing in close proximity with them.” Rose answered immediately. Dave stared at her blankly.

“That was insane. You do realize how fucking batshit you sound right now, right? Jesus christ, Rose, she’s not going to hate you, she’s Jade. I know you’re like physically incapable of doing so, but take the melodrama down a notch for a second, okay?”

“You asked for the worst.” 

“Yeah, and I was expecting shit like ‘rejection,’ but that was way too specific for you to have not thought that exact line of thought before, which, quite frankly, is terrifying.”

Rose shrugged. “It’s not my fault you didn’t know what you were asking for. Really, you should have expected as much.”

“I guess I should’ve, huh. Fucking hell.” He shook his head tiredly and pushed his shades up to rub his eyes. "Alright, I'll tell you what the worst case scenario is. Like you're playin' a dating sim and you've been fucking ruling at this game so far, but then you say one wrong thing and get the bad ending, that's what we're going for. Bad ending in this situation is she just says she doesn't like you like that. It'll probably be awkward for a while, but y'all are best friends, it'll smooth over. And if you don't tell her, you'll just be stuck like this, hoping something'll change even though nothing will. You'll never know what would've happened if you had just gone for it, and I know you, Rose. I know you don't like not knowing shit."

"And how do you suggest I go about this?" She said. What he said made sense, but she wasn't going to let him know that.

“Hell if I know. That’s the extent of my wisdom, take it or leave it.” He shrugged. “Just talk to her, dude. Y’all talk all the time. I’m pretty sure you’ll find a way to bring it up.”

It wasn’t as easy as Dave made it out to be. Maybe if she were someone else, she could just go through with it, but she was Rose Lalonde. It was in her nature to spiral at least three times before arriving at a more convoluted solution.

It was a painful month of pointed looks from Dave before she finally struck up the courage to do something about the feelings she’d be storing tight in her chest for so long. Honestly, what was a measly month compared to the eight years that had already passed?

The day was the special kind of sunny that followed a rainstorm, and Rose found herself wishing she still had the confidence of a six year old as she marched up to the Harleys’ front door. The doorbell’s chime echoed inside the house, and the door opened to reveal a familiar face, though not the one she’d expected.

“Ah! The young Miss Lalonde.” Jade’s grandfather smiled, jolly and charming as ever.

“Hello, Mr. Harley. I was hoping to see Jade.” 

“She’s in the garden.” He waved her inside, and she followed him through the winding house. “I thought you kids -- what’s the word -- instant messaged about these things. What with your newfangled cell devices.”

Rose had to bite her tongue to keep herself from calling him out for pretending to be less knowledgeable than he was -- she knew he used to run a technology company, he wasn’t fooling anyone -- but now wasn’t the time. “I wanted to surprise her. What’s the point of living next-door to your best friend if you can’t show up unannounced to disrupt her plans?”

That earned her a hearty guffaw. “Well, who am I to step in between such gestures of best friendship.” His eyes twinkled knowingly. “My little Jadelet talks about you all the time, you know.”

“Does she now.” Rose said, carefully neutral.

“Oh, yes. You should have heard the girl when she was little. It was ‘Rose, Rose, Rose’ all the time.” He winked, then opened the back door for her. “She’s out there.”

Rose thanked him awkwardly, then made her way to the garden. Jade was in the middle of her plot of absolutely mammoth sunflowers, deadheading and inspecting them with a look of concentration on her face. The moment she saw Rose, though, a huge grin broke out on her face.

“Rose!” Jade ran over to her, and Rose was relieved she’d put down the pruning shears before grabbing her in a tight hug. 

“Hello Jade.” Rose hugged her back and resisted the urge to bury her face in Jade’s hair and just stay there. “Sorry for coming over without warning.”

“No, it’s okay! I’m almost done gardening anyway. I was planting some bulbs for spring.” She said, guiding Rose over to an empty portion of the massive garden and gesturing to the freshly turned over earth. “We should have some pretty daffodils once March rolls around.”

“Well, I hope you’re not completely done gardening.” Now or never, Lalonde. “I brought something for you.”

Jade’s bright eyes were suddenly focused on her like lasers as Rose pulled out a handful of seed packets from her pocket. “Oh! For me?”

“Yes, well, I saw these and knew you were planning to expand your garden.” She said as though it had been a spur of the moment decision, not the result of meticulous research.

“Ooh, I love peonies! And carnations…” Jade looked at the packets and giggled when she saw the packet of rose seeds. “Rose, you didn’t get this one just because it’s your name, right?”

“Lies and slander. I’ll have you know I put a lot of thought and consideration into selecting these flowers. If one just so happens to be my namesake, it is purely coincidental.”

“Uh-huh.” Jade laughed. “I guess I should just be glad you didn’t get me a jade plant or something.”

“The thought did cross my mind.” Rose said, lips quirking when Jade snorted. “No, I really did put some thought into this. How much do you know about plant meanings?”

“A little! Why? Are you getting into plant meanings?” Jade asked curiously.

“Weren’t you and John the ones who said I needed a new hobby?” 

“Well, I guess this is an improvement from trying to summon demons in the band room.” Jade teased.

“It would not have been the first demon that school has seen.” That made Jade snicker, and Rose took the moment to take the seed packets back. “According to ancient Greek folklore, peonies represent compassion. Carnations symbolize love. And roses, as many know, are for romance.” 

Rose refused to look up at Jade while she spoke, instead pretending to inspect the planting instructions on the back of the peony packet. Jade was silent beside her, then slowly took the seed packets from Rose’s hands. “And… you’re giving them to me? With the meanings in mind?”

“I also had your garden in mind. I know you’ve been aiming to plant more flowers around the perimeter, and-” Rose deflected, but she was cut off by a sudden kiss on her cheek. Her eyes were the size of dinner plates when she turned to stare at Jade. Jade’s grin was a mile wide.

“This was a really sweet gift, thank you, Rose.” 

“Yes. Well.” Rose’s brain was short circuiting. Jade laughed softly and took Rose’s hand.

“I, uh. I kind of suspected you liked me? But I never knew for sure, so I was just gonna wait until you made it clear.” She squeezed Rose’s hand. “I’ve liked you for a really long time, you know, but I didn’t want to mess things up!”

“You have no idea how much I understand that.” Rose breathed out a sigh of relief. “Jade Harley, my friend of ten years, crush of eight, would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?”

“I would love that.” Jade grinned, then blinked as what she said registered. “Wait, how long?”

“Don’t worry about it. Let’s plant these peonies.”

Jade was the girl next-door, no longer a mystery, but Rose was just as enamored as she had been that very first day.

#homestuckss #hsss2019 #culturalbloominggirl #rose lalonde #jade harley #jaderose #john egbert #dave strider #3/4 of the guardians too #homestuck #okay to reblog #my writing #I've never really written jade before so!! I hope this works lksjdlksjf

[the-bummer-set]

Can you do a one shot with Steve where you get in a scrape ( beat up for some reason) and Steve nurses you back to health ☺️☺️☺️

I LOVED WRITING THIS!!! STRANGER THINGS ONE SHOT REQUESTS ARE OPEN

I also realize I might have taken "scrape" a little to far in this...

   The last thing you wanted was for Steve to see you like this. You never got into fights, but sometimes things are inevitable. Where else were you supposed to go though when home wasn't an option. You didn't want to show up to the Harrington residence unannounced even if you would be welcomed with open arms, the Harrington's loved you like a daughter.  You pulled your car over on the side of the road, got out, and made your way to the phone booth, your fingers dialing the number like it was a part of you.

   "Harrington residence." You heard Mrs. Harrington's voice.

  "Mrs. Harrington, its Y/N, I'm sorry its so late, but could I please talk to Steve if he's still awake." The pain was throbbing in your head, you most likely had a concussion.  You could taste the blood dried up on your lips, rusty.. metallic... bitter and painful.

  "Sure dear.  STEVE Y/N IS ON THE PHONE!" She yelled partially covering the mouthpiece of the phone. "Is everything okay dear, you sound different."

  "I'm okay Mrs. Harrington, just having a bad night." You weren't lying. Things were awful, and you tried to remember what got you into this mess to begin with.

  "Y/N?" Steve answered. "Is everything okay?"

   "Not really." You trailed off. This was embarrassing. There were tiny defensive cuts on your hands and large bruises swelling up on your arms. Everyone would know anyways, there was no covering up these marks. They knew the history anyways.

  "Where are you?" Steve heaved a sigh full of worry. "Did they hurt you?"

  "Yeah..." You tried not to cry, your eye was puffy already and the gash on your cheek burned enough without the threat of saltwater. "I'm at the phone booth on Juniper.."

  "I'll be right there."

  "Steve, don't freak out when you see me..."

  "Just relax, I'll be there soon."

    The crisp air of November wrapped around you and you realized how exposed you were. Jeans, a tank top, and a pair of sneakers. You looked down at the patches of blood, still bright but drying. "He's going to lose his mind when he sees me..." You spoke out loud to no one. You looked up at the sky, it was clear as crystal speckled with the brightest stars you'd seen in a long time. "Some night.." You muttered opening your car door. You slid into the seat and leaned back. Thank goodness you managed to have the heat on. The adrenaline was running on empty and you could feel the coldness setting into your bones.

  The brightness of two headlights pierced the night and your vision. It had to be Steve, but that wasn't Steve's car. His had a distinct shake in the left headlight from that little fender bender he had a few weeks ago. You locked the doors. If it was your attackers again....

    The car pulled over and a boy got out. You would notice that figure anywhere. "Thank god..." It was Mrs. Harrington's car. "Great... now she's going to see me like this too." You sheepishly got out of your car and turned to face them.

  "Oh shit." Steve started before wrapping you gently in a hug. "What the hell happened?"

  "I don't want to talk about it..." You could feel the tears welling up again.   "Okay.. shhh.. its all right, we're going to fix you up."

  Mrs. Harrington waited until Steve let you go. She gave you a sympathetic frown looking you over. "Oh honey," she pulled you in for a hug as well then step away. "I have a first aid kit in the back, we're going to clean you up a bit here, then Steve is going to drive your car back to our place." She grabbed a soft padded first aid kit from the back seat of her car. You nodded.

   "Who did this?" Steve begged you to tell him in the faintest of whispers. "You can tell me."

  "I really don't want to bring it up right now. Can you please just take care of me?" You felt broken; physically, emotionally, mentally.

  "I'm always going to take care of you." He kissed your temple before moving away enough for his mom to start cleaning your wounds.

  "This is probably going to hurt like hell." Mrs. Harrington warned before dumping rubbing alcohol onto a gauze pad. You prepared yourself the best you could... rubbing alcohol can't hurt as bad as some of the other pains you had.

  "The cuts aren't very deep, most likely wont scar up to badly, but if you want to go to the doctor..."

  "No.. no doctors." You interjected. "Thank you Mrs. Harrington, but I'd rather not."

  "That's up to you." She continued. "I want you to stay with us for a while. Whoever did this to you.." She had a clear idea who did. "I don't want them getting to you again. We can set you up in the guest bedroom."

  "She can.." Steve started before getting cut off with a look from his mom.   "The guest room would be great Mrs. Harrington." You moved from the hood of your car, you were stiff, achy...

    The guestroom at the Harrington house was essentially a third master bedroom. Jack and Jill bathroom connecting it to Steve's. Making your way up the steps was more difficult than you cared to admit, but with Steve's help you made it. He pulled the covers down on the bed and had you sit down on the edge.

  "I'm going to go find you something to sleep in." He ran his fingers through your hair and kissed your forehead. "I'll be right back."

  You sat there, finally feeling a little bit at ease, looking around the room. You caught your reflection in the mirror for the first time all night. You were an absolute mess. This time the tears didn't stay at bay. You let a few slip out before trying to swallow the ball of fire in your throat. If you let yourself cry right now, you may never stop.

   "I hope this is okay." Steve came back in holding up an old nightgown of his mothers.

  You wiped the few tears away. "Its more than okay Steve."

  "Hey, no crying... everything is going to be all right, I'm here now." He knelt down in front of you. You looked away from him. "Look at me.." He whispered, you begrudgingly obliged. "I'm going to take care of you. I'm not going to let anyone ever hurt you like this again." He stood up slowly, "I'm going to let you get dressed, then I'll come back in and cuddle you up." He smiled.

  You smiled back. "Doctor Steve..." A small laugh escaped your split lips. "I could get used to that."

   Steve shook his head, glad to see that you were starting to feel a little better by being here with him. "I'll be right outside the door, come get me when you're changed."

   You kicked off your sneakers and socks easily. Even getting your jeans off wasn't that big of an issue. Your tank top on the other hand, posed difficult with the soreness of your shoulder. You felt stupid. Trapped in fabric. You needed help, and it wasn't like Steve hadn't seen you naked before....

   "Steve...." You called him softly from behind the door.

    Steve opened the door, "Ready for cuddles?" He laughed when he saw you. Tank top stuck around your arms.

  "I need help." You pouted. Feeling defeated.

  "You're so damn cute." He pulled the fabric up over your body slowly... exposing more bruising. Whatever happened, you obviously lost. His eyes lingered on them too long making you self conscious.  You put your arms down.

  "Never mind, I'll figure it out." You tried to wiggle free on your own, afraid of him seeing your pain.

  "Stop it Y/N." He wrapped his arms around you. "I'm going to help you, and then I am going to make you feel better."

  You sighed, knowing that there was no way in hell you were going to be able to do this alone. Steve pulled the fabric up again, careful to not bump you or make you uncomfortable. Once shirtless you turned around.  He unhooked your bra and slip the straps down your arms. He kissed the back of your neck letting his hands ghost the path your bra straps started.

  "Steve...." You cooed.

  "Not tonight." He responded. "Tonight, I need to get you comfortable and well rested." Steve grabbed the night gown off the bed. "Arms up the best you can." He chuckled softly as you sighed lifting your arms up to the best of your ability. He tugged the night gown down your body and smiled at you. "You're absolutely beautiful, do you know that?"

  You let a halfhearted smile appear. "You tell me that a lot.. but I never seem to believe you... especially right now." You looked over at your reflection again.

  "You're always beautiful." He kissed you, his lips proving his point, distracting you from the image in the mirror. He broke the kiss. "Now, get into bed and let Doctor Steve nurse you back to health."

  You slid under the covers thankful for such a comfortable bed to sleep in. Steve walked into the bathroom getting a glass of water and a few aspirin from the medicine cabinet. "Here take these, it will make it easier to sleep." You did as you were told.

  "Thank you Steve..."

  "Don't thank me baby..." He answered climbing in beside you. "I'd do anything for you." He pulled you close to him, your head on his chest, his fingers running softly though your hair. "Do you remember when we first met?"  

  "Mmmhmm.." You were finally relaxing enough to realize you were exhausted.  "It was summer time.." He trailed on holding you and peppering your hair with kisses until you fell asleep.  

#steve harrington #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x reader #One shots #requests open #stranger things fiction #Stranger things #stranger things 2 #stranger things 3

[gaygent37]

Until Sunup - Day 6

No-Set-Prompt-List-tober, October 6: SUMMONING DEMONS

DamiDick, demon!Damian, human Dick, demon bonding, anal sex, cum inflation, butt plug, cuddling, Halloween, 1,534 words

/╲/\╭( ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡°)╮/\╱\

“Trick or treat!”

The door opened, and the young kids held out their candy baskets to the man on the other side, who wore a frown and a set of very realistic horns. He also had a huge bowl of candy in his hands. 

“What are you supposed to be? A trash bag?” the little girl dressed as a fairy asked, staring at his raggedy black robes.

The man sighed heavily, and in a monotone voice, he said, “I’m a grim reaper.”

“Grim reapers don’t have horns. And they have those curvy knives,” she said pointedly. 

“Well this grim reaper has horns and no scythe,” the man snapped. “Do you want your candy or not?”

He grabbed large handfuls for each child, and purposefully only gave half a handful to the fairy girl.

She opened her mouth to complain, but found the door promptly shut in her face.

“Damian,” a voice scolded from elsewhere inside the house. “Were you rude to the little kids again?”

“Of course not, Grayson,” Damian scowled, setting the bowl aside and going back to sitting down next to Dick. “She was being rude to me.”

Dick sighed heavily, curling back into Damian’s side. “They just want their candy,” he said, pressing his face into the spot of bare skin by Damian’s neck. “Be nicer next time.”

Being a demon from the depths of hell, Damian was a perfect generator of heat, and Dick loved just cuddling up to the other man and using him as a space heater. Dick was sure that Damian would certainly complain about the cuddling, if only he had the free will. 

See, Dick made a little mistake a few years back. He accidentally bonded a Prince of Hell to him. But it was only for one day a year, on Halloween. On that day, Damian had no choice but to listen and do everything Dick wanted him to. 

Which was why Damian was wearing the ridiculous costume and passing out candy to sticky little kids for the fourth year in a row. When he was not doing that, he was watching old horror movies with Dick. 

“You’re so warm,” Dick murmured into Damian’s collarbone, for the umpteenth time. 

It was getting late now. The last trick-or-treaters had headed home, and midnight was approaching quickly.

“It happens when you’re surrounded by fire 364 days of the year,” Damian said dryly. 

Dick just hummed quietly, his breath tickling Damian’s neck. Damian could tell that Dick was about to fall asleep soon. Usually, that was a good sign because if Dick slept through the night, Damian was free as soon as the sun came back up, and he could go home.

But then, something strange happened. Dick shifted. He brought a leg onto Damian’s lap, cuddling even closer. His knee bumped against something, and Damian immediately felt a rush of arousal run through him. This was followed with thoughts of Dick in lewd positions, doing lewd things, and it certainly made the situation worse. 

Within a minute, Damian was achingly hard in Dick’s presence, and no matter what he did, he could not will away his erection. 

Dick nuzzled his collarbone again. “What’s this, Dami?” he asked, gently rubbing his knee against Damian’s hard cock, which pushed his grim reaper robes up. 

“Nothing, Grayson,” Damian snapped, his face turning red. “Just go to sleep.”

But Dick pushed himself up, blinking blearily as he yawned. Then, he took a better look. “Oh,” he said. He glanced back up at Damian, who was gritting his teeth together. “Oh,” Dick said, starting to grin. “Dami,” he whispered. sultrily in Damian’s ear “Was that because of me?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Grayson.”

Dick chuckled. “Mm, I think it was because of me. So I should take care of it, right?” He brought a warm palm down right on top of the cock, rubbing it around gently, massaging the demon’s hard length.

“Grayson,” Damian said in a strained voice. 

“Shh,” Dick said soothingly. “Relax. Let Dickie take care of you, Dami. I’ve always wondered what demon cum tastes like...” He climbed over Damian’s lap and situated himself over the other man.

With that, Dick pulled the shirt of his police officer costume off, and he started pushing up the robe that was Damian’s costume. He put Damian’s hands on his waist . Then, with a sly smile, Dick started gyrating his hips on Damian’s cock. Damian could feel Dick’s own arousal trapped in the tight slacks. 

Damian could not help but let out a small groan when he felt the delicious friction. He wanted more. He wanted a lot more from Dick. He wanted to ravish the human. His human. 

With a growl, Damian moved his hands roughly over Dick’s body, and pulled him down, their mouths clashing together in a kiss. Dick moaned wantonly into the kiss, grinding down even harder to show his approval.

Their tongues danced together in a way that was wet and hot and made Damian all the harder. 

“I’m going to fuck you, Grayson,” Damian said in a low voice. “You better prepare yourself.”

Dick gave a sharp gasp from a good thrust of his hips before he lifted himself off of Damian. “I am prepared,” he said. He immediately started pushing down the slacks, and Damian noted that he was wearing no underwear. Then, Dick turned around and bent over. There was a plug already pushed deep in his ass. 

“You- You were expecting this to happen?” Damian asked. 

Dick looked back at Damian. “I’ve been doing this every single year you come,” he admitted. “Just waiting for you to want to take me, I’ll be ready. So please, Dami, I’m already stretched and lubed and-”

Damian wasted no time ripping his costume clean off of himself. He grabbed Dick’s hips, pulled out the plug, and he shoved a finger deep into his human. 

“Fuck, you’re tight, Grayson,” Damian growled. “I’m going to split you apart, you know?”

Dick nodded quickly. “Yes, I know, Dami, but I need it! Please, please fuck me!”

Unable to take Dick’s begging any longer, Damian lined himself up, and he pushed his thick length deep inside of Dick. Dick’s wet hole accepted him hungrily, and once Damian had bottomed out inside of him, only then did Dick let out a breath. 

“Oh, fuck,” Dick whimpered. “You’re so big, Dami. And so hot, you’re burning me inside!”

For a second, Damian worried. But when Dick gently humped his hips back against him, he knew that it was as good thing. 

So he obliged Dick, and he started thrusting, pulling out nearly all the way before slamming back into the man. 

Dick made the sweetest sounds with each thrust, gasping and moaning and tightening around Damian’s cock. 

His perfect ass milked Damian’s cock, and it was not long before Damian felt himself growing close. 

“I’m going cum inside you, Grayson,” Damian growled into Dick’s ear. “I’m going fill you up with all my cum, and you’ll feel me leaking out of you even when I’m gone, aren’t you?”

“Oh, yes!” Dick cried out. “Please cum deep inside me, Dami! I’m so close, and I need your cum! I need- I need to feel you inside me, ahh!”

“I’m going to mark you with my cum,” Damian said roughly, thrusting harder and harder as he neared the edge. His hands gripped Dick’s hips to the point where they would surely bruise the next day. “And everyone - human and nonhuman will know you are mine.”

Dick came. Stars exploded in front of his eyes when he heard Damian’s possessive growl, and it pushed him over the edge. He clenched down on Damian’s cock, spasming around it as he spurt onto the carpet below his feet. 

At the same time, Dick’s orgasm triggered Damian’s, making him shoot a torrent of demon seed deep into Dick’s body. Being a demon, Damian produced significantly more cum than an average human male, so Dick had a little bit of a bulge in his stomach when Damian was done. 

Dick whimpered in delight when he reached down and felt it. He shivered, loving the idea that he was so full of cum that it was actually bulging out of him. 

“Damian...” Dick said weakly.

Damian slowly pulled out of Dick, plugging him back up before his cum could spurt out after him. 

“Yes, Grayson?” Damian asked softly, letting the man to collapse against him. 

“You’ll be back next year, right?” Dick asked with a tired smile. “To do this again?”

“Yes, I will,” Damian promised. “You’re mine now, Grayson. I’ll be sure to be back every year to mark what belongs to me.”

“Good,” Dick whispered. His eyes started drooping. Perhaps it was a side effect of all the delicious demon cum deep inside of him. “Good night, Damian.”

As darkness started washing over him, Dick felt Damian kiss his forehead. 

“Sleep well, beloved. I will be back in a year.”

And as the first rays of sun started peeking over the horizon on the morning of November 1st, a Prince of Hell disappeared from the mortal world, leaving only a trace of warmth besides his human lover.

/╲/\╭( ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡°)╮/\╱\

I rather liked this one, though it took me forever to write because I accidentally forgot the save the first one before shutting down my laptop!!! Well, anyway, hope you enjoyed this!

#damidick #summoning demons #day 6 #gaygent doesn't follow a set prompt list

[arcanalogue]

The Sackcloth And The Cloth-of-Gold

I made friends with artist and children’s book creator Jill McElmurry back in 2011 or so, she’d found me through a mutual friend and at some point reached out to let me know she was a big fan of Arcanalogue. This was during a period when the project was on hiatus, so I was moved and very grateful for the vote of confidence.

Jill sent me Christmas cards annually, and dropped me little notes sometimes. We never met in person, so when she passed away in 2017 it was very jarring. I guess I always figured we’d get a chance to meet and laugh in person someday.

That year, however, I received another Christmas card, from her husband Eric, who reached out to let me know he’d be continuing her tradition. And so he has, for the last two years, which has been a bright spot during the holidays. 

  The other day I came home to a surprise in the mail from Eric, containing these. It’s one of the 1970s Rider Waite decks, with the more muted colors and matte finish, and upon opening it I immediately sat down and counted all the cards, as you must do first thing whenever you’re considering picking up a vintage deck — it only takes one missing card to throw you off, so you have to count them carefully to make sure you’ve got a complete set. 

The excitement was distracting, so it was hard to keep count. 78! The gang’s all here.

Before I started “cleaning” the deck, putting the cards right side up and sorting all the suits into numerical order, I paused for a moment, holding them, appreciating them: the cards had been left in their current configuration by another’s hands. Jill’s? Someone’s. I was picking up where another diviner had left off.

We so often are.

The deck shows a lot of use: some stains here and there, creases on corners from inadvertent folding, and the deck itself is warped into a kind of ripple. I’ll have to be delicate with it, one careless shuffle could result in actual tearing.

I broke the deck into small piles and did a little massaging to help smooth out some of the warping; what you see above is actually an “after” shot. And since then, it’s been sitting here waiting for me to finish this week’s work so we can take a moment to get acquainted. 

I took it down to the riverbank with me this morning, crossing a few naturally-occurring stepping stones to sit on a shady little island of matted flood debris where we wouldn’t be disturbed. And then I just shuffled the cards for a while, smoothly and carefully, the sound overlapping with the shallow water rushing past.

Since resurrecting Cas’s tiramisu recipe this past week, several of my non-ancestral dead have suddenly leapt into focus, popping up in memories and conversations. This week was the anniversary of Dave Moon’s memorial gathering. It was the week I ended up explaining to someone about the tremendous pride my friend Phyllis took in waging a bitter real estate feud with Madonna (whom Phyllis considered one of her only worthy adversaries). 

All of these are people I lost in the past five years, all of whom nudged me ahead in my pursuits, all of whom provided a template for me to follow, whether they realized it or not — and if they didn’t, I certainly hope they do now. 

Working with ancestors is its own mysterious experience; you’re dealing with a lineage that spans so much time, so many strangers mixed among the beloved faces you remember, so many alarming inclusions, all standing atop mountains of the faceless dead whose reach you extend, simply by existing. 

But those we meet and love in this lifetime, what are they? How do we knit them into our fabric after the thread’s been cut? The people I come from don’t have traditions for this, so I���ve had to adapt my own. 

Last week I happened to share a quote from Lawrence Durrell’s Justine, without realizing how apt it would turn out to be. It was accompanied by a picture I’d dug up from 2007, showing a view from another riverbank, near my home in Brooklyn, through several layers of rusted chain link. The full quote is:

“I am neither happy nor unhappy; I lie suspended like a hair or a feather in the cloudy mixtures of memory. I spoke of the uselessness of art but added nothing truthful about its consolations. The solace of such work as I do with brain and heart lies in this – that only there, in the silences of the painter or the writer can reality be reordered, reworked and made to show its significant side. Our common actions in reality are simply the sackcloth covering which hides the cloth-of-gold – the meaning of the pattern.”

What I hadn’t gotten around to sharing was the note I’d found taped to the fence on that bitterly cold day, along with the bedraggled remains of bouquet. 

“In memory of my friend Sandy & her lover. Sandy and her lover drowned in these waters on January 31, 1986 Sandy accidentally backed a vehicle into the water off of the pier. Her lover died trying to save her. Sandy was free spirited, young, beautiful, talented and a loyal friend. I wish I would have had a chance to tell her that I love her before she died. Sandy, I miss you and think of you all the time. Love, Laura”

Pondering Laura’s note back in 2007, I’d written one addressed to my future self:

“Not every day or every year gives you your own story to tell, or someone to tell it to. In the lean times the stories that blow in with the dust, sprout under garbage, or are left taped to the fenceposts, will be enough to sustain you.“

I find these everywhere. Photos, documents, and notes to other people end up in my hands. I carry them a while, sit with them. Sometimes I stash them away, other times I just release them back into the wild. 

I suppose it’s the same with our friends and loved ones. We hold each other for a few moments, and then let go, with no real certainty as to what will happen next. We’re wild creatures who want to be tamed. We’re tame creatures who want to run wild. We are accountable to each other, up until the moment we aren’t. 

And even then, sometimes, we still are. 

The cycle repeats endlessly, and continues onward even after we die. That’s how fabric is made — not from one long, continuous string, but from many fibers wound into many strings, and since the sackcloth of life is very rough indeed, it conceals a multitude of knots, seams, and patchwork. 

And the cloth-of-gold beneath, the meaning of the pattern... I don’t want to spoil the surprise, but it involves nothing truly being lost, not ever. Time holds us. The fabric contains us. It is us. 

Sitting by the Los Angeles river in November of 2019, I cut Jill’s deck and drew a card to instruct me in its use. What would our work be together?

I would have accepted any answer, but this one felt very instructive, consoling even. 

It had occurred to me the other day, I am the dictionary definition of inconsolable. I don’t accept comfort or care easily, not even from those I love and trust. I have to find a way to give it to myself. One of the reason I’ve enjoyed the company of wise, weird, creative elders is that many of those who’ve really tried to care for me have succeeded where others have failed. 

Losing them, I’ve had to learn to give these gifts to myself, on their behalf. The comfort of ghosts is better in many ways than the kind offered by the living. Feeling for the dead, we make a space in ourselves that remains open to them, and working from within that space they continue to influence us. In a way, they become us. Or we become them. Or both, the way lightning actually arcs from the ground and sky simultaneously, colliding somewhere in the middle.

I am inconsolable. At a fundamental level, nothing in this world can console me. But while thinking it over, it did finally occur to me that the cards come the closest; the peace I get from contemplating and writing about them has proven to be my steadiest source of comfort. 

What does that mean for my future? What does any of it mean? Durrell’s words keep ringing in my ears: “Only there, in the silences of the painter or the writer can reality be reordered, reworked and made to show its significant side.“

I have done this, am doing it, will do it. Chatty as I may be, nearly everything I’ve accomplished in life is a product of these long silences. If you want me to show you how it’s done, I can certainly try. If you want to exchange small comforts, even in silence, I would be thrilled to receive them. Per my usual disclaimer: “I will do my best to reply.” 

One reason I tend this site is so I can keep replying long after I’ve departed. In fact, the day after receiving Jill’s deck in the mail, I managed to complete Arcanalogue’s “Search By Card” function. This way I don’t even have to be here to offer an opinion! I’m hoping to backdate some older entries from pre-Tumblr Arcanalogue so the full project — the version friends like Jill enjoyed — is here. 

I left a small post-script on that page, dedicating it to her. Would it have occurred to me if Eric’s package hadn’t arrived? If I hadn’t dirtied every dish in the kitchen making Cas’s dessert? If I hadn’t just been combing through Phyllis’s old emails, or marveling at Dave’s final art project — a mask of his own face, which ended up in the room where he died, earning a special place of honor at his memorial? 

The dead aren’t obligated to tell us what they know about any of this... but it would still be very wise and very kind of us to listen.

[pennywaltzy]

The Cacophony Of Life (1/6)

So I am bound and determined to do this fic as at least the last fic I finish this round of WIP Big Bang, if not the second to last (provided I can figure our where I want the fic to go). This fic was originally asked for by @elliedilly and this first part has been up for ages. Hopefully I can find where I have all the info for this fic on my laptop and get to writing part 2 tonight. Enjoy!

The Cacophony Of Life - From birth, every person can hear the music that their soul mate hears, whether it’s music that they’re playing, listening to or singing along to, in their mind. Measures can be taken to lessen the sound, but there are times when the sound is too much, too overwhelming. For years, Sherlock Holmes and Molly Hooper use their connection to each other through the music they both hear to communicate: first to annoy each other as children, then to care for each other as teenagers and young adults, and finally to express the longing that hopefully one day, and one day soon, they’ll meet each other face to face and express the love that’s grown between them throughout the years.

Read Part 1 | Help Me Survive? | Commission Me?

January 1985 Sherlock Felix Mendelssohn-Bartholdy, “Symphony No. 4 in A major, Op. 90 "Italian" - I. Allegro vivace” Molly The Chipmunks, “My Sharona”

Sleep. He was sleepy. His tummy was full and he wanted to curl up with Redbeard and go to sleep. Sleep would be so nice. Quite lovely.

His thoughts were kind of squished together, all muddled and everything as he yawned and padded his feet towards his room. His mummy had gotten him the bee pyjamas with the footies, his favorite. And his favorite bear was on the bed, Mr. Snugglesworth. He gave his mummy a grin as she tucked him into bed. Normally Father did it but it was quiz night, and he was smart and that was how he showed it. He wanted to be smart too, like Daddy and Mummy and Mikey and Sherrinford. He wanted to learn everything.

He waited for his mummy to turn on the music. He knew his Mummy thought he’d like soft, soothing music to go to sleep to but he liked this song the best. This song gave him the best pirate dreams, where he was sailing the high seas with Blackbeard and they were looting all the ships and burying all the treasure.

Once the song started he settled in, waiting for his mum to turn off the bedroom light and then shut his eyes. He was almost asleep when he suddenly heard the most grating sound. His eyes flew open. No, no, no. He wanted to sleep. Why couldn’t they let him sleep?

Ooh, my little pretty one, my pretty one When you gonna give me some time, Sharona Ooh, you make my motor run, my motor run Got it coming off o' the line, Sharona

The voices singing the song were high pitched, giving him a headache. They didn’t even sound flas…fals…real. He just wanted it to stop, wanted to drown it out. He threw his covers off, padded to the record player, and then turned the volume knob all the way up until Mendelssohn-Bartholdy’s symphony drowned out the noise in his head.

He hated the person he was attached to, the person who could hear the music he listened to, the person who played music to annoy him. Hatedthem. And when they increased the volume of their music, out of meanness, he sank to the floor and sobbed. He hated them. Hated them so much.

Soul mates were stupid.

He didn’t want one. Not ever.

March 1986 Molly Falco, “Rock Me Amadeus” Sherlock Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, “O zittre nicht” (as performed by Lucia Popp in 1969)

She was bored. All the stations played all the same music. It was…boring. Boring boring

boring

. She’d rather hoped if she managed to wrest away control from her sister Emily and her brother Colby that there’d magically be something worth listening to.

But at least the stuff on the radio was better than the stuff in her head. Her mum and dad had explained that every person is born with a soul mate, someone destined to be the person they fall madly in love with, and when their soul mate is born they hear all the music they hear. They can hear anything they listen to on the radio, or any music they’re singing, or music they’re playing themselves.

And she had a boring soul mate who listened to nothing but the dreary classical music that Mrs. Eshaghicn made her listen to when she’d go over while her mum took her dad to the doctor. She didn’t like that music. She liked fun stuff. Stuff she could dance too. Everyone in her house was sad all the time. Mummy tried to make things less sad, and Daddy did too, but they were sad a lot. And she could tell, just like Emily and Colby could. They could see it.

She was four, but she knew some stuff. After all, people said she was a bright young thing.

Finally she found a song she liked. It wasn’t really a bounce around to song. It was an okay song, she guessed. Her brother said it was one of those songs you could learn something about. Some composer of the classical stuff her soul mate liked so much. She rolled over onto her back on the floor and tapped her foot in time with the beat, listening to the man speak the educational stuff in the song.

1756, Salzburg, January 27, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart is born 1761, at the age of five Amadeus begins composing 1773, he writes his first piano concerto 1782, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart marries Constance Weber 1784, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart becomes a free mason 1791, Mozart composes "The Magic Flute" On December 5th of that same year, Mozart dies 1985, Austrian rock singer Falco records Rock Me Amadeus!

The song was just about to go back to the more rock part when her soul mate butted in. She reached over for the volume dial, ready to drown him out, when she paused. This song…it wasn’t so bad, she supposed. It was almost pretty. The woman singing had a nice voice.

And then she realized she’d heard it before. Her daddy had it. Well, maybe not this exact version, but he had this song. She got up off the floor and went to his records. He liked music. Had a huge collection of vinyls from years and years and years. When he felt good, he’d let her sit on his lap and they’d go through and listen to things. Or she’d try with her stupid soul mate trying to blast it out of her head.

Finally she saw the record. She looked at who composed the song the woman was singing. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, it read, and she smiled a little. Maybe there was something to the classical music after all.

Not that she’d admit it to her stupid head soul mate.

May 1987 Sherlock Antonín Dvořák, “Humoresque No. 7 Opus 101” Molly Whitney Houston, “I Wanna Dance with Somebody Who Loves Me”

His soul mate had abominable taste in music.

He was trying to get through his lessons, the soothing sounds of “Humoresque No. 7 Opus 101” playing in the background of the kitchen as he worked. Not his actual school lessons, but the private tutor lessons in chemistry that Mummy and Dad had gotten him because it fascinated him. His actual school lessons bored him to tears, to be quite honest. It was all baby stuff. He’d learned that ages ago, it seemed. He wanted to learn the things Mikey was learning but Mummy said he couldn’t just skip grades. Wasn’t right. Wasn’t proper.

But tutors they could do.

Whoever his soul mate was had been listening to the most wretched music for the last two hours and he’d done every exercise he’d learned since the music had played in his head when he was three years old. His mum and dad had done a good job teaching him about it, getting him to understand when he was old enough, and he was thankful he’d had a few years peace as whoever it was who had parented his soul mate had tried to expose them to soothing music the first few years of their life, because listening to what he or she played had been torture ever since he was six. He craved the classical music that was soothing to all his senses. And whoever his soul mate was just wouldn’t oblige.

He hated them. He hoped he never met them. He hoped something grisly happened to them and they just…went away and he’d get blissful silence in his head. It wasn’t a nice thought but then he wasn’t a nice child sometimes. He tried to be, but it didn’t always work.

He was just about to add the last bit to the chemical solution under his tutor’s watchful eye when he heard a sudden clap and it startled him. He spilled the powder mostly on the desk, earning him a shake of the head and a slight clucking sound from his tutor. His jaw set at that. Damn them,he thought to himself as spoken part of the song ended and the sung lyrics to this wretched song started. He’d heard it before, multiple times in the last few days, and yet it still gave him a start.

Clock strikes upon the hour And the sun begins to fade Still enough time to figure out How to chase my blues away I've done alright up 'til now It's the light of day that shows me how And when the night falls Loneliness calls

Oh, what he wouldn’t give to be able to chase his soul mate away, he thought to himself as he went to get more of the powder, feeling the tips of his ears redden under his tutor’s disapproving gaze. Far far away, to somewhere where they never had access to music again.

Then life would be much more pleasant.

November 1988 Molly Taco, “Puttin’ On The Ritz” Sherlock Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov, “Hymn to the Sun”

She scanned the audience to see if they were there. Her dad hadn’t been feeling well. Mum had said they’d try to make it, try to see her performance, but…well, she knew she shouldn’t count on them being there. Dad was having less good days these days and more bad ones. Mum didn’t talk about it, but she knew. Whatever was wrong wasn’t getting any better. It was probably never going to get any better.

But she couldn’t think about that. Tonight was the charity event, the talent show that St. Margaret’s was putting on, and she had to do her bit whether her Mum and Dad were in the audience or not. She’d been working on the routine for weeks now. She knew it had been hard for her parents to afford the dance lessons along with the tuition for her and her brother and sister’s schooling, but she’d been grateful. She loved dancing, especially tap dancing. She was actually quite good at it, and tonight was her night to shine. She had on a special leotard her teacher had loaned her that looked like a tuxedo, complete with bow tie and tails, and she had a top hat and even a cane. She looked just like she could have come off a Broadway show.

“You’re next, Molly,” her teacher said. Molly nodded and then waited in the wings, giving another glance out at the audience. She still couldn’t see her family, but then she couldn’t see all the audience, and the lights were in her eyes. Maybe they were there after all. She’d do them proud. She’d show them the lessons were worth it, show them just how good she was.

Finally it was her turn. She made her way to the center of the stage, her heels clacking on the hard surface. She got in her position and then the music started. She’d picked the long version of the song for her routine, knowing full well she could pull off a nearly five minute long performance. She started to do her routine and it kicked into high gear when the lyrics started.

If you're blue and you don't know Where to go to, why don't you go Where fashion sits Puttin' on the Ritz Different types who wear a day coat Pants with stripes and cutaway coat Perfect fits Puttin' on the Ritz

And then it happened, the moment she’d been dreading. She heard something in her head. Oh no, she thought. Not now. Her soul mate had taken to trying to throw her attention by playing very loud music while she was going through her routine. And sometimes it worked. She tried every trick her parents had taught her to block the music in her head, but something was different. Her soul mate wasn’t listening to it on a record player or a radio. It sounded amplified, as if they were in an auditorium, but also quite close. And then it hit her.

They were actually playing it themselves.

She stood still for a moment in disbelief, forgetting she was in the middle of performing her routine. Thankfully she snapped out of it quickly and she felt she hadn’t made too much of a noticeable mistake. But…this was strange. She hadn’t realized her soul mate could actually play an instrument. How many times had she heard him before without realizing he was playing the song himself? How had she not noticed before?

She finished up her routine and then scurried backstage. Here she was, all proud of her dancing ability, and her soul mate was a bloody violin prodigy. Wonderful. She sat on a box backstage and caved in on herself. Maybe she just wasn’t talented enough after all.

December 1989 Sherlock Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy” Molly New Kids On The Block, “Hangin’ Tough”

One of the few things all five members of his family could agree on was the family tradition of watching a ballet performance of The Nutcracker around the holidays. It seemed there was so much more bickering these days, between Mycroft and Sherrinford, between Sherrinford and his parents…he tended to stay out of the family drama but he had the feeling that eventually it would all either explode and be a gigantic mess or implode and leave a hole in the family.

Either way, he wasn’t looking forward to the situation.

He was on the floor with Redbeard waiting for them to leave while his brothers occupied the chairs and sofa around the telly. His soul mate had been surprisingly quiet as he had listened to the music on his battered cassette player, headphones clamped firmly on his ears, so he didn’t have to listen to everyone’s snarling at each other. While this event only happened once a year he listened to the music from it as often as he could. He supposed he’d have to stop soon; he was ten now, and it was time to give up childish pursuits such as a love of ballet. He’d had to start to develop a tough exterior, a thick hide to keep the bullies at school at bay. A “stiff upper lip,” as Mikey called it. And there was the fact he had developed an interest in things of a criminal nature. Not causing crimes, but solving them. There was a suspicious death at a pool in London that intrigued him greatly but he’d be damned if he could get the authorities to pay attention to him and his theories.

But at least for right now, he wanted to concentrate on the music. For one more year he had the excuse of family tradition to enjoy the ballet and the music. Next year…who knew what the next year would bring? For all he knew, his family structure would no longer be the same.

The bit he enjoyed the most, “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy,” started, and he relaxed into Redbeard, resting his head on the dog’s soft fur. He was getting old, he knew that. He hadn’t been a young pup when his parents had gotten him, and he moved more slowly now. Still, they had time together. That was what mattered.

Suddenly there was a jarring sound in his head and he shut his eyes. Of course she would have to start listening to some incessant pop dribble now, he thought, clenching his teeth. He’d surmised his soul mate was a female nearly a year ago, when the music she tended to listen to skewed towards male groups with supposedly handsome male singers. He began to use the techniques to temper down the music in his head to duller levels, not wanting to listen to this particularly odious song again. She’d listened to it nineteen times so far this week and it was only Monday evening.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Listen up everybody if you wanna take a chance Just get on the floor and do the New Kids' dance Don't worry 'bout nothing 'cause it won't take long We're gonna put you in a trance with a funky song, 'cause you gotta be

Hangin' tough Hangin' tough Hangin' tough We're rough

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. If the members of this…this…boy band were what she fantasized about than he had no idea why they were soul mates. He’d never be caught dead being like any of them. Never in a million years. And if she liked inelegant fops like that?

Then he didn’t ever want to meet her.

Once he got it down to a manageable level, a dull murmur in his head, he turned back to his tape player and turned up the volume for good measure. It would be best to ignore her, he supposed. They weren’t right for each other, not matter what their stupid biology had predetermined. Simply not right for each other. One day they’d both realize that.

Mark his words.

#sherlock #sherlolly #sherlock holmes #molly hooper #fanfic #fanfiction #mollock #multipart: the cacophony of life #elliedilly

[everydaychurch]

Beauty from Ashes (Part 2) by Warren. Read pt 1 first

Before I left Detroit the Lord spoke something to me. I was sitting in my pick-up truck waiting to go into my soon to be ending job (Yes God does have a way of speaking to us in ways only we can understand). As I  was offering my prayers to start my work day I heard, in the depths my heart  “Warren, I will restore to you the woman of your youth”. Honestly I was disappointed. I wanted my marriage back. I know now that wasn’t going to happen. I also wondered who this girl could possibly be and questioned if I was just hearing voices. Maybe I was crazy. So after I came home to Seattle, back now for months, with those disastrous dating attempts that resulted in my swearing off dating behind me, I get a text from an old high school girlfriend I friended on Facebook. We talk on online for several months. Since later she had a trip coming up to Seattle from Spokane on vacation I agreed to meet her for coffee. I had sworn off dating and had no intention of a relationship with anyone. Starting any romance other than being friendly was off limits at this point. I had been spending most of my time working on myself and focusing on my relationship with God. A good friend was also walking with me as a helpful counselor and support partner.

As I walked to the meeting place agreed upon (Starbucks) I wasn't the least bit nervous to see my old high school girlfriend Julie. My main goal was to hopefully apologize for being such a bad high school boyfriend. Then out of nowhere the same voice from the year before saying the woman of my youth would be restored to me spoke again. As I walked up to the her table, still maybe 40 feet away, the voice spoke to me again asking  “Can you be married to Julie the rest of your life?”.

 I was a little freaked out. 

However, the presence of God was with us as we caught up on life and we could sense it. The next few days were wonderful as we met again the following Sunday.

Did I mention that when God asked me that question while approaching Julie at Starbucks my first reaction without hesitation was “yes”? 

It was obvious. We dated for a year (300 miles away from each other). We have been married for 4 years. God did promise to renew. Not the way I expected of course but I know everyday of my life Julie is a direct gift from God. He had a plan before I did ( I didn’t have a plan) Julie is by no means my salvation but reuniting with Julie further helped change my perspective on how I see God. This was supernatural as far as I was concerned. Julie is a widow. I don’t think she ever anticipated marriage again so late in life either but I know God is renewing her too and changing her view on the nature and goodness of God as well. 

I have been blessed through work as well. I have gone from $17 an hour to a financial figure I could never remotely anticipated. I have been able to take good care of Julie.She has health concerns and does not work. I can pay the bills and have a nice home and car. I am certainly grateful at that alone;  BUT God was not done yet. 

I was able to share 2 years with my step-daughter Ellie. She is in college now and back in Spokane. I think I did a pretty good job helping Ellie get ready for adult life. I didn’t have to do much. She is very mature and has a strong faith in Jesus. I can honestly say I love her. I am still not, nor was I perfect, but I like to think I didn’t screw it up and am a positive influence. I have incredible in-laws as well. I love them and they love me too. That is such a gift.

I also have a much better relationship with my kids and grand kids. Ministry and church life were rough on them and I didn’t do a very good job of protecting them from the time obligations my position supposedly required. I failed to nurture. I wasn’t giving to them with the attention they needed and deserved. There seems to be a running story of “PK’s” or Pastor’s Kids in culture today as if its a funny joke that the pastor’s children are the trouble makers or the ones that grow up to be the most anti-church or anti-god humans. There is truth in that, but its not humorous. Its a tragedy. You can pass blame on church culture for this, but the reality is that it has nothing to do with church culture. The buck stops with the dad. I was ultimately responsible.

I would like to believe I am a much better dad today because of what I have been through and that my deeper, more accurate view of God has taught me how to love them and treat them with the dignity they deserve and as the wonderful adults they are. If I knew then what I know now I don’t think I would have let my church position take priority. Insecurity, fear, and a mentality of works may have possibly ruined the ability of my children to understand  the truth of God. My prayers are always for them to feel loved and know love from God and for them to truly know Him. Only God can do this and I know God can do this.

My daughters are so precious to me. Not a possession, but unique individuals who have their own purposes, talents, strengths and weaknesses, They are all smart, artistic, passionate for justice, good moms, and hard workers.

Another big surprise of God’s restoration is what happened in November of 2017. We had moved a few miles away from my old church where I was once on staff and where Julie and I  lived across the street previously when we were newlyweds. Julie, Ellie, and myself were looking for and trying churches in our new city. Nothing was sticking. Nothing felt right.

I believe when you find the right church you know it. It will be clear and peaceful. Let me backtrack the story a bit. When I first came home to Seattle in 2013 I ran into my former Senior Pastor’s wife Mary in Safeway. I explained to her how I was divorced now. I used to feel I had to explain this whenever I ran into anyone who knew me before when married the first time. That’s a story in its own right. I rarely even think about having to justify this to anyone anymore. Mary was full of Grace and urged me to come talk with her husband. I thought. “No way is that going to happen”. It didn’t end the way I would have preferred while on staff at this church. Many of the challenges I faced in my role there  were magnified by my lack of maturity and my misunderstanding of the true heart of God. My faith neurosis blemished the good things that were accomplished under my ministry . Like a house on fire I surely never wanted to enter that building again, especially after a divorce from a spouse who was once also on staff there. I am sure my pride had a lot to do with that. Pride fueled by shame.

God can be funny sometimes. He does the unexpected.

Jump back ahead 2 years as Julie, Ellie, and I are church surfing with no success. A persistent voice starts speaking to my heart saying “go talk to Steve” (the pastor). I hear this over, and over, and over again. It doesn’t stop until I set up the eventual appointment. I had a boss once who had a motto when ever there was silence between two people that went like this “Just have a conversation”  We were going to have a conversation. I had no clue what the result would be.

Gracefully in the two hour meeting that followed with Steve, Mary, Julie, and I an amazing occurrence of healing took place. Love broke out. We were invited to come back. To be restored. To be protected. We began attending Northwest Church right away and still attend to this day. I am part of the Worship Counsel, teach guitar, and play guitar on the worship team. I never thought in a million years something like this would ever happen. 13 years had passed since I was a staff member there. It was like a son returning home to his family after a long journey. Steve is retired now and change is in process but I am excited for what the future holds. More opportunities and restoration continues that quite frankly blows my mind.  

I was unexpectedly asked to be a part of a team that traveled in May 2019 to Nashville to serve in music worship for the Chaplains portion of the Foursquare Church’s National Convention. Wow. I didn’t plot, plan, or ask for any of that but the door opened. Julie went with me. More evidence of the wonderful nature of Jesus in action. Quite a contrast of my former false beliefs.God was pouring out His love beyond expectations and I knew it.

I had been to National conventions in many years past. I always felt so inadequate when I did. I recall feeling that if people really knew me they would certainly challenge my attendance. So I would play the pride game. Espouse my position of course since I served at a large church. This was my off-based, ugly attempt to justify myself. This gathering was certainly different. I just felt blessed for the opportunity and gave what I had to offer. It was very freeing. No stress at all. A National Convention doesn't justify your position with God, Jesus justifies your position with God.  

God has certainly proven over and over again, through all the difficulty I have endured who He is. How He loves people. How He loves me. When that light bulb finally went on for me my perspective on everything changed. How I view God now changed how I see myself and how I see the rest of the world around me. I no longer wrestle with the mind games of “if” God loves me or not. I am secure in knowing that He does love me deeply and its much easier to respond to His love when that is etched on your heart.

I am not suggesting a different gospel than what the bible clearly teaches. We are still sinners saved by grace. Jesus is our savior and Lord and He is the only way to reconciliation. We must acknowledge our sin and need for redemption. We must know Him and know that He laid down His life on the cross for our sin. His words are clearly written; “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” John 14;6. 

However let me end with this; He is a relational God. Slow to anger and full of grace. He wants all to know Him and follow Him. He wants to be the honored centerpiece in all our lives. He knows all our issues. He is patient. He sees you right where you are. He knows how to untangle false assumptions of who, and how He is. He wants us to love others in the same way; but we have to walk out our lives with Him to the fullest so we can do that. To love others as naturally as breathing. 

The Gift of Jesus Christ is above all the entanglements, sin, and struggles we have gotten ourselves into. He is our hope, our joy, our healer, our restorer, and our re-newer and so much more

Peace

[themoneybuff-blog]

Questions About Car Seats, Leftovers, Medical Insurance, Budget Brands, and More!

Whats inside? Here are the questions answered in todays reader mailbag, boiled down to summaries of five or fewer words. Click on the number to jump straight down to the question. 1. Early or late retirement contributions? 2. Purchases for infrequent use 3. Used car seats? 4. Excessive leftovers 5. Friends want me to spend 6. Value of one bag living 7. Buying a house on $35K 8. How to avoid drive-thrus 9. Medical insurance difficulties 10. Budget brands? 11. Starting career advice 12. Thoughts on taekwondo One of the most enjoyable parts of writing this mailbag column is the wide variety of comments and questions I get from readers. I usually try to keep the stuff I choose for the mailbag at least somewhat within the realm of personal finance, maybe slipping in one or two questions or comments a week that arent related to the topic, but I get quite a lot of great stuff from readers that covers completely different topics that I just cant reasonably fit into the mailbag. For example, just in the last week or two, Ive received the following notes from readers: A reader wrote in to talk about the joys of playing Magic: the Gathering with her son and how they were building Commander decks together. A reader wrote in to encourage me to pick up some of the writings of the philosopher Byung-Chul Han, particularly his essays Psychopolitics and The Scent of Time (which Im currently reading). A reader has been trying to get me to debate him concerning a number of hot button political issues. A reader has been writing to me consistently for weeks asking for step-by-step help in getting a batch of homemade kombucha to work. A reader invited me to his dynasty fantasy football league. Thats just over the last several days. Honestly, I love this kind of thing, because it represents human connection. Theres a sharing of ideas and interests and a sharing of concern behind all of it that goes way past merely writing about financial issues, and it means a lot to me, even if its not fodder for the mailbag. Speaking of the mailbag, here are this weeks questions. Q1: Early or late retirement contributions? Is it better to contribute to a Roth IRA early in the year or as late as possible? I have money set aside for my 2019 Roth contribution but I dont know if I should do it now or wait. Brian Unless theres some specific reason thats unique to your situation that points to waiting, you should put those savings in there as soon as possible. The longer the money is invested, the more time you have for compound interest to work in your favor. Having said that, investment markets are unpredictable. Theres always a chance that right after you put your money in, the markets dip. Remember that this could happen no matter when you put your money in there. You could put your money in now and immediately see a dip, or you could wait until next February to put it in and immediately see a dip. The difference is that, on average, its much more likely that the investment youre putting your money into will go up in value over that period. If you wait, its very likely that youre going to miss out on growth. Put your retirement money away in retirement accounts as soon as you can. Dont sit around holding them, because youre usually doing nothing more than missing out on growth if you do that. Q2: Purchases for infrequent use Im considering purchasing a pair of bowling shoes. I only bowl once or twice a year, but it seems like its a wise investment since I could get a pair of perfectly good bowling shoes for around $25 instead of paying $3 or so each time to rent them. How do you view rarely used purchases like this that, while adding to the stuff you own, will eventually pay for themselves? Adam My philosophy on purchases like these is similar to yours. I try to look at the total cost of ownership of the item over an extended but still reasonable period of time, like five years, and I figure out which is going to cost less. I also consider how frequently Ill actually use the item, and it basically has to be annually at the very least and preferably much more frequent than that. That type of thinking requires full honesty to be valuable. So, in your situation, is it cheaper to rent shoes for $3 a pop twice a year for five years or buy a pair of shoes for $25 once? Well, the cost for rental over that period is $30, so Id probably swing toward buying a pair, assuming that Im bowling twice a year. If you assume that its actually going to be much less than twice a year, youre going to be better off renting. I usually use a five year measure for calculations like this, because I figure its pretty hard to predict accurately what my life will be like beyond that time threshold and its also probably a reasonable guess as to the wear and tear that an item can take. Usually, with a five year calculation, its obvious whether its a good move or not. Again, in this situation, those bowling shoes arent going to be worn out after ten wears, so its likely you will be able to continue wearing them at that point or theyll have some minor secondhand value. This pushes the pendulum even more toward buying them. Q3: Used car seats? I am expecting in November. My husband and I are starting to pick up baby items from FB Marketplace and Craigslist. Whenever a carseat is listed on Marketplace someone always comments that you shouldnt buy used carseats because theyre not safe. How are used carseats not safe? Amy A carseat is one of the few baby options I wouldnt buy used. The reason is simple: a big part of whats protecting that baby when theyre in the carseat is plastic, and you dont know how that plastic has been treated. Theres some chance that the plastic has become brittle and could easily crack or break in a severe impact, just when you need it the most. This can happen, for example, if a carseat has been left in the sun too much over the course of years. Its not an issue of negligence its an issue of you not knowing the history of that carseat. It may have had years of sunlight exposure, rendering the protection that it offers your child much weaker. Most baby items are fine to buy used clothes and baby monitors and things like that. Those arent things that will cause calamity if they fail and its usually obvious if theyre doing their job or not. A car seat, though, is something you should invest in. 99.9% of the time, it wont matter, but 0.1% of the time, it matters more than anything else and youll never, ever want to skimp on that situation. Q4: Excessive leftovers On any given night we will have 2-7 people at our house for dinner. By default we cook for 7 but that means that many nights we have a ton of leftovers. We eat leftovers for lunch every day but they still get tossed a lot. We cant give them to the food pantry either. Ideas? Andy My first suggestion would be to simply have a leftover buffet night for dinner twice a week or so. On, say, Wednesdays and Saturdays, just pull out all leftovers, put them on the table, and let people assemble their own plates of leftovers and heat them up (or heat up the hot items before putting them on the buffet). That way, the leftovers get consumed directly and you have a free dinner. Another suggestion is to frequently make meals and side dishes that are easy to remix into another meal if you have a low turnout. For example, if you make a bunch of spaghetti, you can save it for two nights and then mix in a few additional spices, put it in a greased 9 by 13 pan, put a couple cups of mozzarella and provolone shredded cheese on top, and bake it for 30-45 minutes, covered for the first half, to make a nice spaghetti bake. We also often have plain vegetables as a side dish and save the leftovers to make quick soups later on, for example. A final suggestion is that on nights where you have a low turnout, simply prep leftover plates for the next night and have the same thing for dinner again, or prepare a different dinner the next night for just the two who ate the night before. I dont think you need to feel obligated to have a fresh meal on the table for whoever happens to show up each night. Q5: Friends want me to spend Im 23 and got a nice job out of college paying $45K per year. Several of my friends from college are in the same area and have jobs as well so its fun to hang out with them, but it feels like they want to blow their income as fast as possible. They go out drinking and to clubs constantly, upgrade their phones all the time, ride around in Ubers when they have cars, and throw money at stupid stuff. I want to get rid of my student loan debt and start saving for a house and Im already contributing to retirement so I can get out of this as young as possible. Its not like Im avoiding fun but theres a ton of stuff to do that doesnt cost $50 or $100 for an evening. When I suggest anything else other than clubs or an expensive restaurant, I get ignored. Do you have any suggestions? Amy Find new friends? I mean, that sounds fairly cold, but it sounds like your values are diverging from the values that your friends hold, or perhaps they were always divergent and the income just exposed it. While I dont mind being acquaintances with people with drastically different lifestyles than my own, I have found its far more pleasant and easier to have close friends who have similar values and lifestyles to my own. That way, Im not pushed to overspend constantly just to spend time with my friends. I have been in situations where it felt like I had to pay some kind of admission fee (in the form of going out when I didnt want to) just to hang out with a friend and if I wasnt willing to do that, that person wouldnt hang out with me. That just isnt worth it. Id suggest digging into activities that you feel internally interested in doing. Find groups in your community that match up well with that by using things like Meetup and there youll find people who are also interested in what you happen to be internally interested in. Get involved in those groups. Youll find its not too hard to build friendships that way. Q6: Value of one bag living I found your post on one bag living to be interesting but not practical. Its not like more than maybe 0.001% of your readers will actually ever do it. What is the practical value of such an article? Ollie The practical value of it is that it really shows you how few items you actually need to have a happy and comfortable life, and when you realize that, you begin to realize how much extra unnecessary stuff you have and how much that stuff is costing you, both in terms of the stuff itself and the space youre paying for to store all of that stuff. Lets say, for example, that you decided to try it for a month. You packed a big duffel bag full of stuff and aimed to live solely out of that bag for that month. During the month, almost everything you use comes out of that bag other than maybe a few kitchen items, you really dont use anything else in your home. At the end of the month, youre left asking yourself what the point of all of that other stuff is. Why have any of it if youre able to have a great life without touching it? Why have shelves full of books and DVDs you never touch? Why have a television if you have a good life not watching it? This is likely to lead you to start downsizing your possessions, recouping some money along the way, and its also likely to lead you to question almost all of your physical purchases. If you keep going in that direction, youll find that you likely have excessive living space and can easily be satisfied with a smaller home or apartment, and if you downsize that, then youre on the way to some serious financial improvement in your life, as youre losing far less money to utilities, insurance, property taxes, and so on. Q7: Buying a house on $35K I am a single woman with a four year old child from a previous marriage; the father is not involved and avoids paying child support. We live in a small apartment in [a large city with a moderate cost of living]. I make $35K per year. My mom lives about five miles away and takes care of my son when Im working and hes not in preschool as she has a pension thats enough for her to live on because my father died in the workplace. I would like to be able to afford a small house for us and get out of this apartment building before hes too old because theres kind of a rough culture of teenage boys here. I would like to be in a house in four years. I have no debts and am saving about $200 a month for emergencies. Carrie First of all, Id contact a lawyer and do what you can to get child support. The cost of supporting your child should not be borne solely by you and hes legally obligated to provide financial help here even if hes uninvolved. Second of all, $200 a month in savings thats also used as an emergency fund isnt adequate to get to where you want to go in four years. I looked into your area and a small starter home is going to run you in the $300K range now and will probably be closer to $350K by the time you want to buy. 20% of $350K is $70K. If youre saving $200 a month, youll get to about $10K in four years if there are no emergencies. To get to $70K in four years, you need to be saving around $1,500 a month and have no emergencies that tap that money. Considering that youre making about $3,000 a month before taxes, thats an extremely difficult proposition. Thus, to make it to your target, youre going to have to do some radical things. The first thing I would do is sit down with your mother and discuss the option of cohabitation for a few years, with you splitting up the housing costs. If she could move into your apartment or you two could move into her dwelling and its a tenable situation for a few years, youll both save a mint. If youre paying $1,000 a month in rent and it suddenly drops to $500 a month, theres $500 a month toward savings, and probably more than that because youll have lower utility bills and you can more easily share food costs. You may find that after you buy that starter home, it may make sense to have your mother continue to live with you to keep costs manageable going forward, at least for a while. If you can swing something like that, use a lot of smart frugal tactics like sticking with store brand items when shopping, get on that child support issue, and keep working at your career to move toward a better salary, you can make this work. Without those kinds of big changes, this probably isnt a realistic goal. Q8: How to avoid drive-thrus How do you stop relying on the convenience of drive-thrus? I understand that its way cheaper to make meals at home but when I can just go to a drive-thru and get a quick meal and have it eaten before I even get home or eat it right when I walk in the door and theres no cleanup because I just toss the wrappers, its hard to convince myself to make a big mess making a meal at home. Leon There are a few good strategies for solving this problem that work well for different people. I suggest trying one for at least 30 days, see if it clicks with you or merely causes frustration, and either stick with it if it works or move on to another if it doesnt. First, try simply packing a meal for yourself at home before you leave in a small cooler. Make something simple that you like a sandwich and some baby carrots and a drink or whatever. Pack the individual items in reusable containers and put them in something insulated with an ice pack to keep it cool. Take that meal with you when you go out and save it at your desk or in a work fridge until youre ready to leave, then eat that on the way home. You can do the meal prep the night before while watching a television show and if you use reusable containers, cleanup is really just a matter of popping stuff in the dishwasher and wiping off the table (which youd need to do anyway). If you want, you can designate Fridays as eat out days and keep it as a treat for yourself for getting through the week. Another thing I strongly suggest is to simply get better at cooking at home. Cooking seems very difficult at first and even easy things like scrambled eggs feel like a giant mess and a big time and energy investment, but once you get more practiced, it stops feeling so challenging. Start by making really simple meals that you like grilled cheese sandwiches or scrambled eggs or spaghetti. Another strategy is to cook things in advance, make individual meals out of them in reusable containers, and keep them in the fridge. For example, you could make a huge batch of spaghetti one night and pack three or four individual meals of spaghetti with a breadstick in resealable containers in the fridge. Then, you can take them to work with you and youll also know that one is just waiting for you when you get home. Yet another strategy is to use a slow cooker. Start a simple dump meal before you leave (a dump meal means you just dump several ingredients in there and turn it on low) and youll have a hot home-cooked meal waiting for you when you get home. Slow cookers are great for stews, chili, soups, and simple casseroles; it can also make a mean pot roast. The goal of all of these things is to either put something in your hands directly so that youre not tempted to stop or have something at home waiting for you so youre not tempted to stop. Q9: Medical insurance difficulties I am covered by [a major medical insurer] through my workplace. A few months ago, I had a procedure done that my doctors office informed me would be fully covered by my insurance. They filed this with the insurance and the insurance company came back saying that the procedure wasnt medically necessary and wouldnt cover it, so my doctor is now billing me for it at the tune of $30K. I dont even know where to start. Should I contact a lawyer? Petra Without seeing the bills and documentation, I cant give you full advice on what to do. However, my first step would be to document every single detail that you can recall about this entire process, including dates and what you were told by both your doctors office and insurance. If you have any supporting documents, such as receipts and printed information about the procedure or about the costs, thats all valuable here. Then, I would go through the process of appealing this claim with your insurer, providing a copy of all of that documentation. An appeal should definitely be your first action. If you find that your appeal is denied, you should then discuss the matter with your doctor and attempt to get their bill reduced. If youre still finding that youre paying an excessive amount, then I would take all of this documentation to a lawyer and get legal help. It very much sounds like you were given inaccurate guidance from a doctors office and a lawyer can usually help here. Q10: Budget brands? Are there any budget brands you trust for making high quality stuff? Meaning brands that are cheap in price but the quality of their stuff is good? Darren The store brands at most department stores and grocery store chains fit that bill. For the vast majority of product types, the store brand is as good as most of the name brand options. They might not beat some of the really high end premium versions of those products, but the store brand is usually as good as 80% of similar items on the shelf. For things like charging cables and basic electronics like computer mice or keyboards, Ive found that Amazons generic brand, Amazon Basics, is really good for the price. For many different kinds of smaller electronic items, like external batteries for charging devices on the go or headphones or things of that nature, I strongly trust Anker. If theres an Anker option for a small electronic device, youre probably getting great bang for the buck with it. Those are the ones that immediately come to mind as brands that I strongly trust that consistently provide good bang for the buck across a wide variety of products. Q11: Starting career advice My oldest son is about to graduate from college with a degree in electrical engineering. I am collecting career advice from some people I respect to pass along to him. What advice would you give to a fresh college graduate in a technical field today? Robert First of all, treat the first decade of your career as an opportunity to build skills and relationships above chasing salary. A killer resume ten years from now will be worth a lot more than earning an extra $5K or $10K right out of the gate. If one job pays a little more but feels like a dead end, while the other job pays a little less but feels like its overflowing with opportunities and ways to build relationships, take the latter job in the first decade of your career. Second, if your workplace offers a 401(k) plan, take advantage of it immediately and contribute as much as you can stand. You will never regret this. Just do this and then start off with smaller take-home checks theyll still be a lot more than what you had in college. Pay yourself first. Third, no matter how tough a situation is, dont burn bridges, even if it would feel good. If youre moving on from a position, do it as gently as possible and be as positive and flexible as you can on your way out. Finally, eat healthy, get some exercise, get plenty of sleep, and dont work too many hours. If you dont do those things, youll be far less productive during your work time, the quality of work you produce will be lower, and youll have a harder time picking up new skills. If your workplace is obsessed with 80 hour workweeks, carve out as much of that 80 hours toward self care and rest that you can reasonably get away with. Q12: Thoughts on taekwondo I was wondering if you could share your thoughts on taekwondo from the perspective of both a parent of a student and as a participant with an eye toward cost. Is it worth it? Do your kids get value out of it? How about yourself? Brenda I attend a local taekwondo school with the rest of my family. It was an activity that my two oldest children wanted to try and the family plan isnt much more expensive than just the two of them participating, so when our family schedule lined up and our youngest was old enough, we all joined. In effect, our third family member was half price and the rest of us are effectively going for free, and the price has actually gone down as some family members have reached black belt rank (and those who havent are at a belt rank approaching black). First of all, if youre new to martial arts of any kind, its something you should shop around for. Any city of any size likely has a few martial arts schools; a larger city likely has some dedicated taekwondo schools with branches in various locations. Different schools offer different prices and different philosophies. Taekwondo is a martial art thats focused on fast, high kicking. That means that it really works hard on agility and balance. Theres also an emphasis on forms, which are sequences of kicks and other movements that are memorized and done from memory, which challenges a persons memory while physically exerting themselves. Our familys interest in martial arts lies much more in the realm of self improvement, character building, self defense, and fitness rather than training to fight. There are definitely martial arts schools that are very focused on simply training to fight, preparing people for things like mixed martial arts. Theres nothing wrong with that, but its not what Sarah or I were looking for in a school. We wanted a school where the merit wasnt in whether you defeat someone in a fight, but whether youre working hard and genuinely improving yourself so that youre better at the techniques, better in all around fitness, and better in character than you were the day before. Again, I have nothing against a school focused on fight-focused training, but its just not what Im looking for or what I would direct my children toward until theyre old enough to make those kinds of choices for themselves. Perhaps someday theyll take what theyve learned and move in that direction, and Im fine with that. When my oldest son and daughter began expressing a genuine interest in taekwondo, we shopped around for local schools that offered dedicated youth programs and were focused on a self-improvement type of martial art philosophy, and we found one that we liked that had classes near us, and over time, we all joined up. I think it has genuinely helped our children improve their ability to focus, their ability to overcome challenges, their character, and most definitely their ability to defend themselves and get out of a threatening situation. As a parent, Im thrilled with the impact taekwondo has had on them. As for myself, I joined because I agree in a deep philosophical way with the goals and direction of the school, as well as the fact that I was looking for a fitness program for myself and an opportunity to mutually encourage my family to be more fit. This hits all of those marks and with family rates, its pretty inexpensive. If you divide our session fees by five, theres absolutely no way any of us could be in a sport or a fitness program at these rates. If someone is interested in taekwondo or martial arts in general, Id start by figuring out why you want to do it. What are you hoping to get out of it, or what do you want your child to get out of it? Self-discipline? Fitness? Self-defense? Character? What are the one or two things you want most for yourself or for your child that you hope martial arts can provide? Start from there and shop around at a lot of schools in your area. Theyll all have different philosophies and centers of focus some of them will line up well with your own goals and philosophies, while others will go in a different direction (not wrong or bad, just different). Find some that match what you want, price compare them, and give one a try for a session and see if its right for you. Got any questions? The best way to ask is to follow me on Facebook and ask questions directly there. Ill attempt to answer them in a future mailbag (which, by way of full disclosure, may also get re-posted on other websites that pick up my blog). However, I do receive many, many questions per week, so I may not necessarily be able to answer yours. https://www.thesimpledollar.com/questions-about-car-seats-leftovers-medical-insurance-budget-brands-and-more/

[doublenegation]

Too Early

Being too early in a night club feels like dying young. You can see the whole thing stretching ahead of you, all the things yet undone sort of fading in a distance you will never reach.

Only young men seem to go early, stuck somewhere between the cloak room and the toilet, struggling for what was it again? The night is still young. Too young, like it will go on forever until suddenly it no longer does, and here you are -- stuck waiting for something, anything to happen.

There's a faux arcade machine in the corner, lonely and not exactly retro -- I might be the only person in the room who knows what it fails to properly reference, 90s rave aesthetic weirdly displaced by an 80s that never was, begging for change, any change, loose change, admonishing responsible drinking while sporting that accursed deer mascot, rendered unlovingly in a wireframe aesthetic that never was, unartfully ripping off that drag-and-release mechanic killed by ludic literacy and a terrible tendency towards complexity but lacking any understanding of what it's for.

Very videogame. Like a real videogame (made by love, with love), it doesn't know what it is except perfunctory and limited, potential delimited by a marketing budget and ... zero ambition? It feels unfair to judge, I'm sure the good kids at Chloroplast Games with their weak blob logo would have preferred to excel, to push a boundary or two.

But here it is, in a corner, across from the bar, most likely unseen by anyone but those who miss the bathroom queue, make a right too early, find themselves in an alcove populated only by that herbal alcohol mascot and their own misunderstanding.

I suppose part of my ennui stems from going to a rock'n'roll club an hour too early. I should have learned by now -- the party is at least half an hour away, maybe an hour even! And rock? Do I even listen to rock unironically? Am I in a position to judge this scene as anything but maybe something I missed out on ten years ago?

Hard to tell, I suppose I ended up here because the other place was shut and this seemed to have, well, open doors and some people. Maybe it was the girl who briefly held my gaze before her boyfriend arrived and pulled her back to reality?

She might have preemptively lied to me, suggested an impossible connection or at least given my half-drunk mind the illusion of one, her gaze a reminder of what I need but don't know how to get in this strange city with its strange people and strange ways.

I mean, this is just playacting anyway -- I'm not really out tonight, I'm just investing in a potential future, seeing what's up, how it's hanging, so I'll get to sleep okay tonight and not lie awake staring at the ceiling waiting for sweet nothing to embrace me so another day can promise me things it can't keep.

There's supposed to be a dance floor, but it's empty. I paid to access this emptiness -- a pittance to be sure, but it still obligates me to try, I guess, to pretend like I'm out and about; seeing town when I'm really just waiting for tomorrow, the real deal, a potentially chance date with a hairdresser who thinks it's funny she can't pronounce my name.

It's nearly as expensive too. A quarter hour of work to spend what, a couple of hours in this cellar with its post-rock and empty dance floor and cockroach I just stepped on because my peripheral vision is way acute and I can't help myself.

Tomorrow is the real deal, the real illusion, the current fantasy, the affirmation that I'm doing something other than typing out future blog posts on my phone in this cellar on this park bench as far as I can get from that Jägermeister fauxcade game only I can put in its proper cultural context.

We're 30 minutes into the cellar life and there is still hardly anyone here, meaning my initial assumption is wrong -- there's no life after midnight. It happens at some witching hour yet to pass, one I might not even get to see before I decide I've had enough and go home to find that sweet bedtime I've lied about wanting to avoid, like I've lied to myself about the severe blonde at the bar looking at me, like I've lied to myself about maybe being in the mood for rock'n'roll.

Turns out my gut feeling is true -- rock'n'roll is a state of mind divorced from the presence of that cultural touchstone rock'n'roll. If I like rock'n'roll, it's because I like that confidence and that swagger and that noise and not because I strictly enjoy real guitars and real drums.

The other people literally just left, which lends me courage to stay just a little longer to see what they will miss, if anything. I like the idea of exclusively witnessing potential lost to others. It's my inner hipster god justifying itself -- to boldly go where no man thinks there's any fun to be had, to hope that the DJ is not as lonely as me, on this early November night in a city I don't know.

Hey, worst case I have produced my most spontaneous piece of prose in whoa, a long time, wrapped in my language, a critical language, one that is knowing and distant in lieu of knowledge and distance, wrought under the very limited auspices of autocorrect. And it only cost me a fraction of the expensive alcohol I bought as soon as my invoice was reimbursed this very afternoon, the sweet Mammon I've waited for all week, months worth of rent and -- well, this.

I might be too advanced for this chance experience. I might need something less haphazard, something I know I want instead of something I maybe think I need. Healthy, though -- I have chosen to be disappointed in an effort to discover myself.

The DJ is doing good. Maybe because it's empty. He's wringing out some noise I haven't heard before, like he's loving it despite being unheard -- maybe because he's unheard by anyone but me here on my park bench that doesn't belong here in this place I don't know.

Once upon a time I would have paid for two people to nearly enjoy this emptiness but now I only spent what, one percent of my monthly fun-budget having this epiphany, this realisation that you can't win 'em all but you can reflect very, very eloquently on that belated epiphany, that sudden realisation that your princess is in another castle.

A couple just stumbled into the cellar. They are ... well, nearly gone again. They are not sitting down to write essays and reflect upon the empty dance floor. They went towards the toilets (or maybe the fauxcade machine, my view from here is limited) and then vanished.

No, this is just a trial run, a ... premature anti-climax, a preemptive disappointment before tomorrow's big whatever, the real club night where maybe I'll find my hairdresser in the crowd and we will kiss desperately because we're no longer young and want some beauty while we can still offer some of our own.

I will be on drugs and I will listen to music more suited to my state of mind, to my ironic distance, nothing as forceful as rock or whatever this undead amalgam should be called. I will lose myself even if it's not to her.

The couple found the benches too. I suppose that is the death-knell, the final proof that I am not an outsider here as I touchscreen-type this little screed. I am just ahead of my time, settling into the non-event I could see not unfolding before me even hours ago, even before I left my new home to find something new, something I'm not bored by or angry at yet.

They are smiling and laughing. They have, like me, paid to be here and like me they are making the most of their bad investment, listening to the really quite great music and trying to ignore the fact no-one else is.

Entrance came with a free drink. I should go to the bathroom then claim it and have a cigarette. Maybe I will emerge to find the dance floor filled. Or maybe I will sow the seeds of that throat cancer I so desperately hope won't eat my voice before I get famous.

Either way, the new me is yielding something, rock'n'roller or not. This is something. This would not have happened just a week ago, and the price is very, very low compared to the cost of all those empty moments I have wasted these last few years.

Love is a lonely thing, and the more time I spend alone the more I come to understand, accept and -- yes -- kind of relish in it. The couple are talking over the loud music and I am typing this on the world's worst typewriter as I bury my rock'n'roll persona and head past the advergame, past the empty dance floor, towards the toilets so I can emerge and provoke that cancer I hope will pass me by and grab someone else by the throat so I can live forever.

Hey, unlike the DJ, I am free to leave. And in the grand scheme of things, I am paid more for my time here than he is.

On my way out, I stop for that smoke. A cute Italian girl asks me whether there’s anyone dancing downstairs. I let her know it’s dead. She’s disappointed, since she wants something -- anything -- but reggaeton. I argue in favour of reggaeton, my contrarian streak flaring up like a shooting star, and she thinks I’m funny.

I leave, and I get all the way home (which is only a ten minute walk, granted) before I realize I am drunk and I am not sleepy, and I decide fuck it, I might as well stay out. I head back.

She’s not there anymore. I convince myself this was just a trial run. Tomorrow is hairdresser day, and I need to be awake, alert and in a party mood for that. I am only half-convinced, but really -- I don’t have much else to believe in. So I live and I learn. And I won’t go out too early again. Except maybe tomorrow because I wanna be there before the place fills up so I can spot her or she can spot me and I can say hi, I’m here, just like I said I would be, and she will smile and it will be like tonight never happened.

[kawaiifunhologram-blog]

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"opel insurance

opel insurance

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Should my insurance really be 1950 on a 1.1 peagout 106 at the age of 18?

hello, should my insurance really be 1950 on a 1.1 peagout 106 at the age of 18 for third pary, fire and and theft, this really seems steap for a 1.1 litre, its not modified or been changed in any way or form, please help me get it cheaper lol""

Why do students need Insurance?

what benefit will they get from it? Why should the city of Quebec make insurances available to students. An example of a story would help.

Who Pays For Your Medical Insurance?

Another one...who pays for your medical insurance?? The place i work for pays for my full coverage with NO out of pocket expence on my part and NO money taken out of my paycheck? Does your company also pay for you or do you have to pay some out of pocket money?? If i had a choice i choose them to dock me my half hour lunch as long as they are paying for my medical insurance..thats more important to me..What do you think??

How do i set up a car insurance company?

im looking to set up a car insurance company in the uk. I am quite business minded but am not in a position to be spending thousands of pounds to set it up. would be greatful of any info on how I go about things thanks

When should I expect money from a car insurance settlement?

Today, i was going through a green light and a driver ran a red light and hit the back of my car. i spun out and eventually stopped before hitting anyone else. I was wondering about how long should i expect to wait for insurance to comp me for a rental car (if applicable. i believe i have triple A) and to give me the check for a new car. i have a few follow up questions. 1. what amount will my insurance give me. i have liberty mutual and i had a 2001 kia sephia with 97000 miles in good condition. i just had new tires, alignment and oil change done to it because i just got the car about a week before. 2. the fender, axle, and back tire are completely totaled. the back drivers side is smashed in so should i try to fix or take my losses. 2. should i sue the driver and get a lawyer involved? or just take whatever my insurance will allow me to have? any additional advice, warning, guidelines or wahtever will be helpful also. thanks.""

How much would insurance cost for a 2007 Mustang GT?

I know I can't get a definite number, but I'd like to know just if it'd be a lot or a little. It's a 2007 Mustang GT 5 speed 6 cylinder.""

Is getting into an accident with a more expensive car worse than with a cheaper car? (Insurance rate)?

Is getting into an accident with a more expensive car (Mercedes Benz or Ferrari) worse than getting into an accident with a cheaper car (Honda civic or toyota corolla) in terms of ...show more

Is anybody looking for affordable health care insurance?

I work with ASSURANT HEALTH, I can get you a free quote just let me know.""

Getting my baby on insurance?

I'm 20, unmarried, and a full-time nursing student, so I still have insurance through my parents. I live with my boyfriend, my baby's dad, and he has insurance through the hospital where he works. His insurance isn't too expensive for him, but if he were to add the baby onto his policy, the price would nealy double, taking almost half his paycheck every month. I work as much as I can parttime, but with taking fulltime classes, along with clinicals, there's no way I can work fulltime right now. We would be considered low-income, and I know my baby would be eligible for medicaid. I'm only 26 weeks along, but I really want to have everything arranged by the time he gets here. Who would I contact for more details about getting on it? We've never used any kind of supplemental assistance like this, so I really don't even know where to go. It's probably too early right now, but when would I need to start filling out the paperwork?? Thanks for your help!!!""

Car insurance for 15 year old?

I'm 15 and I am getting my permit in 1 month. Since I am female the rate will go up to about 50%. My mom makes good money but I don't think it's fair for here to have to pay that for me. I live in California and I want to try to get a job to pay for the car insurance. I haven't really looked I only looked for stuff online. I don't really want to baby sit or mow lawns, I want to work at a place that provides a paycheck (even though I would probably make more money doing those things). Any suggestions?""

Rough Maryland motorcycle insurance rates?

Hello, I have two questions. First some info though, I live in Southern Md and am a 24 year old male who currently has a completely clean driving record. Right now I have full coverage with Allstate and am paying around 200/month. My question is how much should I expect my rates to jump if I get lets say a lower powered motorcycle ~$7500. Does the age of the motorcycle have much bearing on the rates? And now my more obscure question...What about an electric motorcycle at $15000? The only reason I thought it might be lower is in general they are simpler to operate, not as powerful, and have few breakable parts. Thank you""

My parents wont put me in car insurance?

My dad keeps giving me excuses to why I'm not on his insurance yet. His excuse now is that he wants to switch car insurances first, but that he can't until he fixes his car. Like why can't he fix his car under the new insurance? it makes no sense. I've had my license for about 3 weeks now. All my friends have been put under insurance as soon as they got their license. I'm trying to get a job, but I cant because I'm not on the insurance. and no one can drive me to work since they work themselves. My parents think my older brother is my personal driver, its annoying. I don't know what to do. Any advice?""

I don't know what to do with my auto insurance coverage... can someone help me??

I got a new auto insurance last November and it expires end of May. I paid $320 for 6 months. The rate was higher due to a moving violation. Well, the violation is off my record now.... and when I got a quote today with another insurance company, it was $150 for 6 months. So would it be cheaper for me to cancel my current coverage ($50 early cancellation applies) and get the new coverage? Or just keep the current coverage and apply again in June?""

Question about my car insurance?

My current insurance is with state farm; just a question; if i got hit by someone without car insurance and is their fault; they dont have any money to pay for my damage; since i dont have the uninsure motor coverage but i have collision with deductible of 500 dollar; would my collision cover me after i pay the 500 dollar? i guess my real question is what is the point of having uninsure motor coverage when i have collision coverage? would i need both? or just collision would be sufficient?

Cheapest car to insure and run?

So in all your opinions what is a cheap car both to run and insure? Also, would a 2000-2001 vehicle make much difference to an insurer?""

Can I get some advice about car insurance?

My and my wife are both insured on our car (Fully Comp.) and we are now about to get another car due to our work situation. Would the following method be the most cost-effective way for us both to be covered ? 1) For me to be fully insured for one car and my wife fully insured for the other, allowing us both to drive each other's car if necessary ? I am currently the registered keeper of our current car and I am the policy holder for it as well. I would be driving the new one when I get it and my wife would take over driving the current one. Thanks in advance""

Can I get life insurance on a family member without their consent?

I'm interested in getting a life insurance policy on my mother because unfortunately she will not be around forever and I want to make sure my sister and I are able to take care of financial obligations that would have to be resolved including funeral expenses. Obviously this is a very difficult situation, no one wants to have to plan for a loved one's passing. Anyone know if this is possible? thanks.""

Where do i go to see a physician without any health insurance in California?

Hi , I'm 21 and I don't have any health insurance, I want to see a physician so I can get more information on estrogen pills because I want to have smoother skin and look more like a girl than a man but i still want to keep my man-hood . Can anyone help?""

Help! Accident on motorcycle with no insurance.?

I was recently involved in an accident on my motorcycle with a Hertz rental car. I purchased the bike 9 days before the accident and was planning on adding the motorcycle to my car insurance policy. No one was hurt in the accident but a police report was filled out at the request of the rental company. I was wondering if insurance companies possibly have some kind of grace period for accidents a certain number of days before the policy is added, or if need be, transferred to the motorcycle. The rear bumper of the rental car was dented and the right rear lights were damaged. My motorcycle is fine. I live in California.""

How can you lower 17 years olds car insurance quotes ?

hi, im 16 and turning 17 in a few months, im looking at quotes for cars for example: cars with 1.0 to 1.2 engines an that are 10 years old or more. for example: vw polo 1.2 - 11k and paying 1500 a month. i know this cant be right can someone help please !""

""Car insurance, if I sell my old car and buy a new one with bigger engine can I put this on my insurance.?""

Im thinking of buying a rover mini soon but the only problem is the engine size, as a 1.3 this is bigger than the current car registered on the insurance and I was wondering if it would be possible to change it. I expect there to be a charge for changing the insurance but would there be a rise to the insurance quote itself or isn't this possible at all.""

Is there a big differents in the price of car insurance?

hi is there a big differents in the price of car insurance between a mini copper and a mini one for a first car for a 17 year old

Is it worth getting full comp insurance if your car is only cheap?

Is it worth getting full comp insurance if your car is only cheap?

Which insurance company?

I am 17 year old male in the UK. I have a Citroen Saxo 1.1L 3 door 2000 car. I bought the car for 800. It is not modified in any way and it is in a secure garage every night. Having my dad as the policyholder is not beneficial because although he has been driving for over 30 years, he has always had a company car and has never owned, and therefore never had insurance. I have looked everywhere for insurance and the cheapest is 3500, most quotes are over 4000 and around a third of the results are over 10000. This is 3rd part F+T and using sites such as Confused, Compare the Market etc. I also tried getting quotes direct from the company and it's no cheaper. If anything it's more expensive. Which companies should I try, and has anyone else been getting ridiculous quotes like this?""

How much does insurance increase for a teen with an old car?

I was doing some research to buy my own car. I wanted either a 1976 dodge Monaco or a 1989 Chevy caprice. My question is, if I am 17 years old and I had this car, what is a rough estimate of how much my dads insurance will increase? I figure old cars and young drivers don't mix well but I need to know. Also, I have never gotten in any accident or received any tickets and I don't even remember the last time my parents crashed or got a ticket if that helps. Shanks""

opel insurance

opel insurance

Will my car insurance rates go up?

A year ago, I got into an accident that was my fault. My insurance rates went up. Recently they dropped but at school, I was pulling out of a parking space and I ran into another girl's car. Will my insurance rates go up if she put in a claim? If so, how much. Any thoughts? What should I do?""

Re saga insurance?

has anybody had a bad experience with saga insurance [over 50s only]

Will a loud music ticket affect my insurance?

I was driving and i got stopped because of my loud music and got a ticket, Does this affect my insurance? iv'e been reading online that it a non moving violation and will not affect it, is this true? P.S Im from California""

What are the typical insurance rates for small retail businesses?

I'm planning on opening a small book store in East King County, WA in the next year or two. The store will be about 1,100 - 1,200 square feet. Does anyone have an idea of what the premium would be for general liability insurance? I can't get a quote because the store doesn't exist yet, but I need the info for my business plan. Help!""

Where can i buy health insurance?

I'm have a low income and I'm looking for a right insurance coverage. I work as a part time job so my employer won't buy an insurance for me. Please if anyone knows any ...show more

Could somebody give me what they pay on average for insurance on a 2001 ford explorer sport?

i am looking to buy a 2001 ford explorer sport and was wondering if someboy wouldnt mind telling me their average yearly insurance payments?

How much would the insurance be for a Porsche Cayenne Diesel a year?

The insurance would be for a female driver with over 25 years of experience. How much would it cost a year, and also how much would the monthly diesel bill be? Thanks""

What is proof of insurance?

I am still on my parents insurance and was planning on renting a car(yes, I' am old enough). They require proof of insurance when renting and I was wondering how that works. Do I just show them my parents proof? And is it just the paper work in the glove box of one of our cars?""

Help me lower my car insurance!?

im a 17 year old male driver, i was thinking of buying my neighbors 2001 car, but apparently insurance is gonna be 6000 a year with me as a primary driver. my parents both drive and both have vehicles, is it possible for them to be the primary driver on 2 vehicles if we say its for work/convenience and myself as the occasional driver on one car? my friend said i can if my parents list the honda as a secondary vehicle and their the primary. is this true/possible? orrr if anyone else knows any way to lower insurance in past experiences or just know help please! :)""

What is the cheapest car insurance company for an 18 year old learner driver?

Thanks xxx

What is the best car to buy in terms of getting cheap car insurance as a first time driver.?

I am over 25 but things are still costly.

CAR ACCIDENT WHOS AT FAULT AND DO WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH INSURANCE?

I was in a car accident yesterday a very minor one, the damage to my mother in laws BMW was just a cracked head light, and damage to theres was hardly apparent although the man said there was a tiny bump in door and a scratch. what happened was i was leaving a duel carriageway and on the side lane one lane was closed and a cone was in the road i swerved to miss going into work access (plenty of room as cones missing ETC cos of bad weather) then i pulled straight back out into correct lane having dragged the cone and seeming to leave it in work access... although all this happened in matter of seconds when i pulled back out i have hit the car that was originally behind me in the side door he obviously didn't break in time to stop when i swerved... i have a feeling because it was me that hit him that i am at fault? problem is i don't want to really go through insurance as it means both me and my mother in law will lose our no claims and because it was me driving not my mother in law excess is 600 as i am only a named driver.... I would rather just pay for damages if i am at fault than give my mother in law all the hassle...how much do you think it will cost? only thing is when i said this to the man he said he needs to notify insurance anyway and mine which i have been told will lose our no claims anyway... any ideas info please as im quite confused?""

How does LIFE INSURANCE work?

my cousins dad dies of cancer and he had life insurance. the family got $500,000 . -did the insurance company just give them the money away. or did they make certain payments? doesnt insurance lose money? -do they go on a spending spree now or what?""

Can my auto insurance be lowered if I keep it in a garage and don't drive it for a year?

The engine died on a car we're financing, can't sell it and can't fix it until we have the money which is estimated to be around February next year. We plan on parking it in our garage until we get it fixed next year. We have to continue to insure it since it's financed but do insurance companies offer lower rates on vehicles that aren't driven in scenarios such as this?""

What is the average car insurance costs for a 17 year old female?

What is the average car insurance costs for a 17 year old female?

How much does motorcycle insurance cost???

im 20 with a 02 gsxr 600 in NJ

Car Insurance?

I got a new car (2001 Toyota Corolla, 90k) to replace my old car, (1995 Honda Civic, 123k) and my insurance company tells me that my premier will go up by $125. Is that a fair increase in the value, or is it too expensive?""

How much would insurance cost for an 18 year old girl in NY?

Does anyone know how much insurance would cost the car is 97 so i heard its cheaper if its an older car she cant add it to the families insurance cuz they dont live in the country.. Thanks

Is it a bad idea to get your own car insurance at 18?

I wanna get my own car insurance! I wanted to know if it would be a bad idea or a good life lesson! Is it true that car insurance cost more with new cars? Because I want to get a 05 Suzuki Forenza! It's a used car it's only 2,000! Any parents out there please help! I need all the advice I can get before I turn 18!! Thanks!!""

What insurance information do I need for my driver's test?

The DMV specified I need insurance information...

Insurance quote for 2001 Chevy Impala LS with 114000 miles?

I am just curious how much insurance would be on my gf 2001 Impala with a 3.4 and 114000 miles on it. She has a clean driving record?

What's the cheapest deal/ car insurance i can get as an 18 year old girl (just passed)?

Passed my test yesterday. Which car/ which insurers would be the cheapest. I would happily have a black box etc. Might it be cheaper to have a parent as the named driver? I need to find insurance for around 1000 ideally. (Less would be great but don't think its likely). Thank you

How much does car insurance cost?

I'm looking at a car that costs about 2,400 dollars. It's a 1997 Toyata Camry. It has about 147,000 miles on it. How much insurance would I have to pay. I live in PA and I'm a 20 year old dude so I assume it's expensive. Also is 147, 000 miles a lot for this car...or is the camry super reliable?""

Could a 17 year old insure a Porsche 944? (For a reasonable price)?

I've been looking into classic cars and The Porsche 944 has kept cropping up on sites, and looks quite nice. My fear is as I will be turning 17 soon and I live in Worcestershire (UK) I have no hope of insuring it... Am I right? People have suggested Classic Car Insurance on 944's and 928's but didn't they fix that loophole? As I would be spending a fair bit of money on the car I don't want to pay loads of insurance, I would love to know ideas of insurance costs and general feedback about the car, I know it would cost a fortune to run by the way. All Help Appreciated""

Which insurance is cheaper for 19 years old person?

Which insurance is cheaper for 19 years old person? is it state farm(the one i have now) or geico. or please tell me what is the cheapest insurance company?

opel insurance

opel insurance

Help with health insurance terminology?

In layman's terms, what is: 1) a deductible and 2) an insurance premium? And how do they work in health insurance? An example would be appreciated.""

Are annuity health insurance premiums deductible?

My husband gets a government pension. His health insurance premiums are deducted from the annuity payments each month. (I don't know yet if the premiums are paid with pre-tax or post-tax dollars, looking into it.) Are those premiums deductible in the medical expenses area of our federal income taxes?""

Quoted insurance price?

I purchased insurance on the online weekend for my car. I paid the first monthly installment. Only to have a phone call telling me this price was wrong it was a computer error and the policy will cost a lot more. Do I have any rights here? Or must I simply front the rest of the cash to keep my car insured?

Do you have health insurance?

if so, how much is it per month? how old are you? what kind of deducatbale do you have? feel free to answer also if you do not have insurance? also, do you support obamacare?""

Where can I find affordable renters insurance in northwest indiana?

Where can I find affordable renters insurance in northwest indiana?

How much is insurance for a new driver (teenager) on an old car?

I have my L currently and im 18 living in vancouver and we want to buy a automatic car but not an expensive one or anything, like an old one, say the car was max 8000 min 3000. 1) how much would the insurance be for me to drive it IM 18! 2) this is with BCAA""

What does it mean when your employer will contribute 100% of your insurance premium?

I am on my husbands insurance and we pay $110 a month for health insurance. I was reading through his contract and it states that The school will contribute 00% of full time employees' single and defendant premium coverage. Why are we still paying for the insurance? What am I missing?

How much does motorcycle insurance cost in California? I'm 20 years old and thinking of getting a bike.?

I'm thinking of getting a Yamaha R6. Still don't know what year? Anyone got any tips of what year i should get?

Insurance for a 17 year old girl?

Can anyone please give me an estimate on how much insurance might cost me for one year? I'm 17.. did Drivers Training.. and would get my own car.. I think it's a 1992 Aurora. Thanks!

Will the Affordable care health insurance start from tomorrow itself?

I am planning to buy health insurance since I am going through a medical condition and cannot wait for the treatment. Can I buy Obamacare insurance? I heard it will be effective from Jan 1 2014. I know its kind of stupid question but is there a provision in the ACT that if I buy the insurance today (11/21/2013) will it be effective tomorrow or can the expenses be claimed after Jan 1 2014. Also, if I am not able to cover myself from now till dec 31 2013 then what insurance do you suggest? Thanks..""

""If you are driving someone else's car while they are in it, does insurance cover an accident?""

Hey, I have my full G license however I am not insured under any car because I do not own a car. However, my girlfriend does own a car and we're planning on going on a trip which requires 12 hours of driving. She wants me to drive but I am unsure that if we got into an accident we would be covered. So question: Are we covered by the insurance company in the event of an accident Note: I am driving, have no car or insurance in my name on any car She is in the passenger seat during the whole duration of the trip""

""Just got a quote for 10,000 for my car insurance?!?!?""

i was getting a quote from comparison websites and the cheapest quote i received was 10,000. i also put my mother on the policy who has over 25 years driving experience and also switched to third party. what else could i do to lower the insurance costs.. im buying an audi a3 but is there any other way i could lower the insurance, thanks everyone""

Will insurance cover a new windshield/ price of windshield?

i have 3 big cracks in my windshield and it's going to bust soon if i don't get it fixed. does car insurance cover that? and if not, how much would it cost? its a 2005 ford focus""

Help! I need auto insurance fast?

I'm 23 years old and need auto insurance immediately. I live in California and would prefer to have nationwide coverage. I am single, no kids. I'm really considering liability or something low-end because insurance here is a lot more than what I was paying in Pennsylvania. I am also a full-time student and heard that might get me a discount with some agencies. Any advice?""

Insurance auctions/Salvage yards websites???

can anyone tell me good websites that sale salvage/insurance auction cars ......i live in south texas........

How much will a teen pay for their own car insurance?

if its a used car that is completely paid for.

If i bought a cheap non running car on craigslist do i need to get insurance on it?

if i bought like a $600 car on craigslist that is not running, And would like to work on it to make it run. Do i have to get insurance on it, or any kind of monthly fee, while i work on it to restore it.""

I was in a car accident. My car was deem a total lost. The insurance towed my car away. I waited 1 year?

trying to get my claim paid. Today I received a letter from some car auction center, stating that I had to go get my car or they will charge me storage per day. now my car was a honda 05 I originally finaced the car and still owe money on the car. like 13000. The insurance company is not paying my claim. The finance company gave me a charge off on my credit. Now If I go pick up this car. is the car now mines? I do not have the title. How do I get the title.""

Is this why women have better car insurance rates then men?

http://video.yahoo.com/network/100284668?v=4533761&l=3774753

What are some Big name Insurance companies?

Admitted Carriers I believe is the Term for Big name/Most Legitimate. I am in California. Please give me a list, of all the ones u can think of, all the commercials u can remember, what ever. I need to contact every single big name company, I am shopping for Commercial Insurance, & Need to find The Best price & Best policy thank you very much! & May god bless you!""

I got a ticket which doesn't put points on my license. Could it affect my insurance rates?

I was a passenger in my friend's car when he was ticketed for having an open container of alcohol in the backseat. This occurred in Illinois, and the text of the relevant law is at the bottom. He was ticketed for violating section A; I was ticketed for section B. I confirmed with the very nice lady at the DMV that no points will be placed on my license since I was the passenger, but she was unsure as to what kind of report will be sent to the Secretary of State's office to be added to my driving record. So, here's my question: since I'm not getting any points for this, is it likely to affect my insurance rates? I can see both possibilities - on the non-affect side, it's a non-moving violation, but on the yes-affect side, it involves alcohol (albeit peripherally in my specific situation). If the consensus is that it will make my rates go up, I am going to try to get court supervision. If not, I'll try to save the extra money that would cost. Sec. 11-502. Transportation or possession of alcoholic liquor in a motor vehicle. (a) Except as provided in paragraph (c), no driver may transport, carry, possess or have any alcoholic liquor within the passenger area of any motor vehicle upon a highway in this State except in the original container and with the seal unbroken. (b) Except as provided in paragraph (c), no passenger may carry, possess or have any alcoholic liquor within any passenger area of any motor vehicle upon a highway in this State except in the original container and with the seal unbroken.""

Can I get secondary insurance if i have primary insurance in my moms name?

I have primary insurance and the policy is in my moms name. I have cronic epilepsy and i cannot have a gap in my insurance because of all of the medications I'm on and all the dr. aptments i have with my neurologist. I am getting married in May of 2013. I need to get secondary insurance for right now and then when i get married drop off my moms insurance and make my secondary insurance my primary insurance and put my (at that point my husband) on. My mom basically trying to make it extremely difficult for my fiance and I to get married because she tries to keep me under my thumb. Im 25 years old and Im trying to get myself more independent and be able to get married and get my bachelors in business. Please someone help me.

What would the cost of insurance be for a 16 year old driving a 1994 3000GT Mitsubishi?

What would the cost of insurance be for a 16 year old driving a 1994 3000GT Mitsubishi?

Is marriage really that important?

Is marriage really that important?

Can I drive this car without insurance?

So i just bought a new 350z model 06 from someone and i was wondering if i can drive it for couple of days. I live in California, near oakland and san jose. I heard people telling me that when u buy a new/used car u can drive it for 15-30 days without insurance. If someone knows a link to some stuff about this please tell me :D Thanks.""

opel insurance

opel insurance

What should i do about car insurance?

Basically in 2009 i got caught speeding without insurance. Biggest Mistake of my life. Lost my licence and had to start from provisional again. Now i have passed my test and it is a few years on i dont know what to do about getting insurance. I refuse to drive without it now. The thing i need to know is do i tell my insurance company about the claims that were less than 5 years ago or don't i? the reason is because my licence was taken away without a ban put back to provisional and now re-started fresh so do i still have to put them or not? Also if i do what would happen if i don't? Just out of curiosity as it would be a lot cheaper but if i have to i will obviously. Thanks

The Federal Government Insurance Plan?

If the federal Government has an insurance plan and we pay for it,where is it taken from I mean what tax pays and how much do we pay. and where is the plan located so I can see what there plan is.""

Cost of newborn delivery/childbirth(California...

I'm wondering what the cost is for delivery/childbirth is in California, without taking health insurance coverage into account? Just looking for a general number, but if you want more specifics: -My area is the San Francisco Bay Area (east/south bay) -When I say childbirth, I mean: admittance into hospital/actual delivery procedure (not cesarian)/3 day hospital stay I'm shopping for health insurance, so any number that you come up with to help me budget/calculate would help me out greatly!""

Why don't republicans want Americans to have access to affordable health insurance?

Why don't republicans want Americans to have access to affordable health insurance?

How can i get cheap car insurance at 17?

How can i get cheap car insurance at 17?

What is the difference between term insuarnce and whole life insurance?

What is the difference between term insuarnce and whole life insurance?

Medical i don't know whats share of cost? or good insurance? for pregnancy?

does any one who lives in the state of california and have medical undurstand what is share of cost? mine is $796.00 now i dont know if have to pay that monthly ? my husband is eligeble for insurance from his job but in 2 months and it will be 400.00 monthly so it will be less expensive im so confused im 3 months pregnant and i know it's soo expensive so i want to have it sort out before i give birth but im not sure what the best choice i try to apply to kaiser permanente but they denied me becuase im already pregnant? do you guys know what share of cost or where i can get insurance ?

Car Insurance Single Vehicle Wreck?

Well, I'm am a 17 soon to be 18 year old male driver who had his first wreck today. A truck decided to come into my lane I braked and swerved to avoid went into the grass over ...show more""

A good place 2 get cheap car insurance?

A good place 2 get cheap car insurance?

What is the cheapest/ most expensive profession to be in when claiming for car insurance?

had two quotes for car insurance, one as me as full time hairdresser with part time student and one the other way round, when being a student full time my quote was 500 less than if i was a hairdresser. i just think it's crazy. any one know why?""

19 year old and car insurance. i am an absolute newbie?

i am 19 male and want to get a car. to do this i was told i need to: 1. pick a car i am thinking of getting 2. check with different insurance companies how much the insurance would cost for the car i have NO IDEA how to do step number 2! can someone give me a list of insurance companies to call maybe? or is there a website? I AM ABSOLUTELY NEW TO THIS! ANY HELP AND/OR TIPS IS APPRECIATED BTW i live in Ontario more specifically Toronto

""Is a Porsche 944 good in the snow, cheap insurance, etc?""

Hi I really would like to buy a Porsche 944 but I am having trouble convincing my dad that it would be a good car for me. His main arguments are that it would not be good in the snow (I live in Upstate New York). I am willing to buy snow tires but I am not sure about what the ground clearance is on the 944. And he says that insurance would be very high for a teen. Also reliability, but the one I am looking at has only 84k miles on it. I am looking for helpful answers that go either way from expierenced people who have owned 944's. Thanks!""

Cheap car insurance for a new 17 year old driver in philadelphia?

I have a 2000 ford taurus and pay 240 every month for insurance.. is there any cheaper insurance i can use?

Who is the cheapest car insurance company for a young driver?(19 yrs old male)?

Who is the cheapest car insurance company for a young driver?(19 yrs old male)?

Which website is best to get best auto/car insurance quotes?

Is there a genuine website which compares all the available auto insurances and provides you the best results. I tried www.insurancehotline.com but this was a really bad website and showed me very high quotes.

Do you need full coverage insurance to take a driving test?

How does that work? Me and my boyfriend just got a car & I still need to get my license in order to get full coverage insurance, but can I take my driving test without full coverage? I'm in a bit of a pickle here any opinions would be great! I live in California.""

Best car (insurance wise) for new drivers?

Of the following cars (all old models), which would be cheapest for a new female driver. I haven't started to learn yet but I should be thinking about it in about a year and I should probably get a head start saving. Assuming I'd follow all tips to keep insurance down which would be best? Ford Ka Ford Fiesta Peugeot 206 Peugeot 107 Smart Fortwo Fiat Punto Or do you have better suggestions? Before you tell me, I am WELL AWARE that it will be very expensive.""

Question about motorcycle insurance.?

I was wondering if anyone could tell me, on average, although there are multiple considerations...how much difference would there be in monthly insurance premiums between a 500cc bike compared to a 650cc bike? I heard that its actually quite a bit of difference, as I think I've heard that anything less than 600 is quite less than anything above 600cc's. I was just wondering if anyone could confirm this, and hopefully give me some estimated figures. Thank you""

My health insurance ends when I turn 19?

So does that mean I can chose any location and place for regular checkups? I know I will pay the cost fees. But in general, is it all the same cost or??? I'm so confused.""

What is the average car insurance costs for a 17 year old female?

What is the average car insurance costs for a 17 year old female?

Geico car insurance down payment?

Is anyone here doing geico auto insurance monthly payments? I just got my policy and had to put a downpayment. the down payment is part of my policy total right? it's not like an extra fee? I'am pretty sure it's part of my total.

Cheap car insurance im 19 male 1yr no claims any ideas or websites?

i need my insurance to be as cheap as possible any help ? ideas ? any thing lol any websites or anything to help thank you i know im in the same boat as everyone but this is worth a try lol

How to get seen by a doctor without health insurance?

I have no health insurance but I need to see a doctor! I have the mirena IUD, a week ago I was sexually assaulted, but was unable to get a rape kit because of the insurance issue. But now I am having cramps, alot of pressure in my uterus area, my lower abdomen is bloated out, I ended my period 6 days ago and every day a few times a day, when I wipe its a little pink with what looks like some skin particles? It feels like I am constantly leaking discharge, I can feel it leaking out! Idk if he moved my mirena, or if he gave me and STD but I need to see a doctor. Is there a way I can see one and make payments on the bill or what? I live in California""

Cheap Insurance (San Antonio)?

can you tell me any cheap auto insurance for a 95 model here in my area. san antonio tx

""Where can i find out when my home was built, for insurance purposes. uk?

Just needed for home insurance quotes.

opel insurance

opel insurance

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/bike-insurance-ontario-thomas-west/"

[melaniedgriffiths]

Milestones and mountains

This year was always going to be big as it was the year I hit the 5 year mark for surviving breast cancer. In May I said farewell to my breast surgeon, in November I was ready for the big send off from my oncologist. I sat in her office with great anticipation waiting for her to leave me with a, ‘you’re done kid’ but she just asked her usual questions about meds and health, musing in passing it was 5 years since my diagnosis. I eventually asked her if this was my last appointment and she cracked a smile and said, ‘Noooo, we are going to grow old together! We have another five years to go’. “Oh.” is all I could reply. 

From building up that huge milestone in my head it was all but extinguished by her simple off-hand statement. The significance of being healthy and cancer free 5 years down the track is not lost on me and I’m thankful because now my chance of recurrence also drops. Yet what my doctor said and knowing I still had another 5 years to go just made me realise that the journey never really ends. I claimed this mountain but there are more challenges I’ll face because as Al Pacino says in the monologue that changed my way of being all from Any Given Sunday, 

I’ll tell you this in any fight it is the guy who is willing to die who is going to win that inch. And I know if I am going to have any life anymore it is because, I am still willing to fight, and die for that inch because that is what LIVING is. The six inches in front of your face.

There were highs and there were lows, but as time passes you forget the bad and just remember the good I suppose. And hopefully by the end of the year when we all reflect on what we’ve encountered we can crack a smile. I do, when I think of my highs;

A new studio and old passions

I started, and have really now thrown myself into a new studio and it’s made me immeasurably happy. It literally feels like coming home. There is once again an absolute sense of purpose and creativity in my life that I had missed since last year. It’s hard work but it’s good work.

A trifecta of music life goals

In April my playlist, which focussed specifically on female artists, got picked for Rage’s birthday weekend. It may seem like nothing, but it was a huge deal for someone who has always dreamed of programming Rage. Sure it was just five songs but there was my name on screen and I got to play Fleetwood Mac on a Saturday morning!

In November I sat front row for Stevie Nicks, the day after my 5 year mark. More than that though, during Edge of Seventeen Nicks made her way along the front of the stage and I got to touch her gloved hand, and in my eagerness give it a slight yank (oops). There is no female artist bigger in my life than Stevie Nicks and for her to do the “Edge walk”, after ditching it several months ago was a dream come true. Having a photo of the moment pretty much made my week and my year until…

I won a competition to meet Paul McCartney in late November. I entered on Saturday, found out on the following Tuesday, met him on the Thursday and then went to his concert on the Saturday. Literally a week of me losing my mind, too happy and stunned to fully comprehend it all but as I said to a fellow contestant winner, I was just going to try really hard not to get overwhelmed and just enjoy the moment. Who is bigger in my world than Stevie Nicks? It’s The Beatles, never did I ever conceive feverishly buying tickets in June that I would actually get the opportunity to introduce myself to McCartney but once I entered that competition, I did believe that it could very well happen.

Alive and kicking

Albert Einstein said, “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

It’s a miracle I made it through this year. It’s a miracle that I’m alive, that my friends and family are safe and healthy. It’s a miracle I have been presented with so many opportunities to experience life at its fullest. It’s a miracle I made it through the really tough times this year, dealing with toxic situations to came out on the other side wiser and more sure of who I am. It’s a miracle I get to do the things I love, surrounded by the people I love.

In between all that good stuff, was also the mundane aspects of life working cause you need to, meeting obligations when all you wanna do is binge on netflix. More seriously there were hard times at one of my jobs, and a serious health scare that made me finally stop and make a huge shift for the better in my life. Yet that’s life right? The good and the bad, by the end of it I just hope to have more good.

I’ve worked really hard this year and I gotta admit I get pretty tired sometimes but I know that I’m merely preparing for the opportunities that will present themselves in the future. I had a lot of challenges this year, and a lot of support- I realise no one goes at it alone so I am so grateful to everybody who has supported me.

It’s been a year of getting back to basics and realising your life really is what you make of it. So hopefully next year will bring new experience, maybe a little chill, an adventure here and there but also much of the good that I already have.

Happy New Year!

#breast cancer #happy new year #survivior #cancer survivor #young breast cancer #youngsurvivalcoalition

[fangirlmomentsandmytwocents]

WANTED KINDLE WORLD by Kelly Elliott & Guest Release Launch

      Mason is a place where love can be found in every pasture and small town hopes meet big city dreams. A world filled with love, angst, and plenty of chances to find your soulmate. So whether you're a cowboy dedicated to your family’s ranch or a young woman from the city looking to start a new life, happiness can be found in Kelly Elliott’s Wanted Kindle World. Come take a stroll and get lost in this charming Texas hillcountry town.

JOIN THE WANTED WORLD READER GROUP

    ADORED by Georgia Cates My name is Judd Mathews and I have it all: money, good looks, success. Fans buy my music and scream my name. My life is a charmed one… until my world is turned onto its head by a girl. Scarlett Mathews. A baby girl. My newborn daughter. Her mother is gone, and she has no one in this world but me. This delicate little girl couldn’t have been born to a more unsuitable father… until Leighton Mitchell opens my eyes and makes me see things differently. Leighton is not my typical kind of woman. She does not get drunk on whiskey or chase country music stars for a chance at a one-night stand on a tour bus. She’s nurturing, wholesome, respectable… and easily the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. She loves my daughter. Adores her. And that makes it very easy to see that she belongs in Scarlett’s life. And mine.   

BLURRED LINES by Nazarea Andrews When Ethan is called home for an unexpected wedding, all he can think about is the well-meaning women in his life trying to set him up with someone that will entice him to move back Texas. Settle down and get married and live a nice quiet life. Which is why he ends up asking Spencer, his best friend and roommate, to go as his date. Never mind that they aren’t dating, that Spence is definitely not interested in dating—his sisters have heard enough about him over the years that they might buy it. A week at home, pretending to date a guy he’s been in love with for three years? What could possibly go wrong?       

MERCY by Andrea Johnson At eighteen years old, Mercy Warner packed up her little hatchback and set out for bigger and better things. Determined to put small town life behind her, Mercy had dreams - big cities and bright lights were her destiny. Four years later, Mercy finds herself drawn to the small town of Mason, Texas. With strangers who embrace her like family and a local cowboy with dimples offering her happiness, it’s hard to resist what the town has to offer. Will her dreams of living life under the bright lights of a big city overshadow the small-town life under the stars she’s drawn to? Only Mercy has the answer.       

FOUND by Kristin Mayer I thought I knew him. I didn’t. One night he was in my bed; the next, gone like a ghost. But the memories of us together were branded on my soul. Now he stands before me, a stranger with a different name. The worse part is I still want him. One thing is for certain: He isn’t stopping until he gets what he wants—me.   

City Girl's Cowboy by Kahlen Aymes He might desire her, but he'll be damned if he'll ever let her hurt him again. Thea Andreas left behind her cowboy boots, the dusty trails of Texas, and first love, River King for the bright lights and big city dreams of the Big Apple and a big-time modeling career. When Thea inherits part of her great Uncle Leonard’s sprawling ranch, she goes back to settle the estate, but gets more than she bargained for when the majority owner refuses to buy her out, and no one else will either. See, the locals know the story, and their loyalty is clear. River is cockier and sexier than ever and it’s not easy to resist when he makes it clear he’d be more than happy to oblige her with a roll in the hay, for old time’s sake. He’s the catch of the county and every single woman within a hundred miles wants him, rousing old feelings of jealousy and pain. What’s worse, River seems to revel in making her suffer. The beauty of the ranch where she grew up and and hauntingly intense memories of their first love might convince her to stay, but even if she wanted to give up her career and move back to Texas, it won’t matter if River can’t forgive her for chasing her dream.   

Beyond the Lights By Casey Peeler She’d do anything for her best friend. Hollywood makeup artist, Addie Mae Turner will never forget where she came from. And when her childhood friend is having her first baby, Addie runs back town to throw the most memorable baby shower to date. Getting her friend’s older brother to help is just icing on the cake. He’s not impressed with her glitz and glory. Sawyer Jackson is small town—and that’s exactly how he likes it. As the high school football coach, he has one thing on his mind: winning. But when Addie Mae waltzes back in town, he refuses to get lost in her money and beauty. Together, there’s more than meets the eye. Teaming up to plan the event, Sawyer and Addie discover more than diapers and bottles. Addie might just be using her career to hide who she really is. Can the high school coach show her that behind the facade is where the really beauty lies?   

Church Bells by Jennifer Rebecca Tanner Savage is a Texas Ranger with a strong sense of right and wrong and a love of country and duty with no room for shades of gray. The battle hardened former Marine lives to protect his hometown, Mason, Texas and the people who live and love there. Abigail Williams did a bad, bad thing. Trapped in a dangerous situation with no end in sight, Abigail made a difficult choice and now she is living with the consequences, and those consequences are a life on the run—a new name in a new town.         

Another Round of Whiskey by S. Moose At first sight. At first taste. I never thought Whiskey would become my addiction. We melted together as one. He was my world. I was his everything. Our love was consuming. Every time we touched, we ignited. One dream. One choice. Seven years later, I’m back home and the beautiful man standing before me still has the power to set my body on fire. The desire is overpowering. But the pain of the past keeps him away. When he leaves me standing in the middle of the bar, I sit on his stool and come up with some sort of plan. Anything that’ll bring back the piece of my heart I left behind. So, when the bartender asks what I’m having, I let him know.. Another round of Whiskey. What happens when the law man finds himself attracted to the woman on the run? Have you visited Mason yet?     

MY UNEXPECTED COWBOY by Kenzie Rose He's a playboy, working his way to the top at a local recording studio. When a free recording session is the prize for one lucky lady, he knows her voice is the one to seal his fate at the studio. She's a country girl, having fun with her sister in Nashville, but has no plans to stay. She misses the Hill Country of Texas, and her horses. After recording her CD, she heads home and never looks back, even though the man behind the glass caused her heart to flutter as she sang. Determined to find the girl with the perfect voice, Jeremy heads to Texas to try to convince her that she's the next big thing. But when he sees her in her own world, as more than just a pretty face and a beautiful voice, he realizes that maybe his life in the big city isn't what he really wants. Maybe the Hills of Texas and in the arms of sweet Kennedy is where he truly belongs.       

EVERYTHING I NEED by Ellie Wade Leni Turner I learned very young that love has the power to destroy us, and so I’ve stayed clear, vowing to never lose myself to love another. I escaped Texas and broke free from the life that tried to destroy me. Yet here I am, five years later, my dreams shattered, on a bus back to the place I never wanted to be. Liam Moore I spend my days on the ranch, doing what I love, in my favorite place on Earth. After years without contact, I’m startled to find her green eyes staring back at me, making me realize how much I’ve missed her. She doesn’t want me in her life, and yet now that she’s back, I don’t know how I’ll make it without her in mine. Sometimes, everything you need is right where you left it. It’s finding the strength to embrace it that’s the hard part.   

      18-year-old Ellie Johnson always believed she would never be loved or wanted by anyone. She focused all of her attention on her grades and getting into the University of Texas to start a new life away from her mother. The last thing Ellie expected was to fall in love with Gunner Mathews, a starting linebacker for the University of Texas football team and not to mention, her brother's best friend. Gunner only has two passions in life, football and his grandfather’s ranch, until he falls for his best friends little sister. He will stop at nothing to show Ellie how much he wants her, even if it means he has to move faster than she would like. Gunner knows they are meant to be together forever, but Ellie keeps denying her feelings out of fear of being hurt again. Every time he gets close to winning her love, something pushes her away again. Will Ellie ever be able to let go of the past and let him into her heart, and will Gunner be patient enough to wait for her? This is a new release of an edition originally published by K. Elliott Enterprises, INC. AMAZON       

Kelly Elliott is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling contemporary romance author. Since finishing her bestselling Wanted series, Kelly continues to spread her wings while remaining true to her roots and giving readers stories rich with hot protective men, strong women and beautiful surroundings. Her bestselling works include, Wanted, Broken, Without You, and Unconditional Love, to name just a few. Kelly has been passionate about writing since she was fifteen. After years of filling journals with stories, she finally followed her dream and published her first novel, Wanted, in November of 2012. Kelly lives in central Texas with her husband, daughter, and two pups. When she’s not writing, Kelly enjoys reading and spending time with her family. She is down to earth and very in touch with her readers, both on social media and at signings. To find out more about Kelly and her books, you can find her through her website. www.kellyelliottauthor.com

FACEBOOK | TWITTER| GOODREADS | AMAZON AUTHOR PAGE

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#release blitz #Kelly Elliott

[sunshinykittens-blog]

November 20 - Stark Tower

Tony had been working on the problem all night, and still it was bugging him. He didn’t like that his housekeepers were putting themselves in danger simply by working for him. After he had returned their purses to them Thursday, he’d started considering options. The easiest one by far was to switch up their schedules. But his suggestion had come with a resounding and flat no.

He’d tracked down the Lippy One – he guessed that maybe he should find out their real names, one of these days – and pitched the idea to her on Friday. She was in the middle of unloading the dishwasher.

“So I was thinking about the problem you had the other night, and I think I have the perfect solution. We just change your hours, you come in earlier, and leave before it gets too late. I’ll still need you here in the evenings, so what about 2 until 8. You would get home by 9. Great idea, no?”

She had stopped for a moment, looked at him, and sighed. “No.”

Tony frowned at her. “What do you mean no? It’s a fabulous idea. You guys still take care of everything, but get home before the real weirdos come out in the city. It’s perfect!”

This time she didn’t look at him, just kept putting away dishes. “No.”

He reached out and caught her wrist. “Then tell me why it’s not a great idea.”

She looked at him, then down at her wrist. The look she returned to his face said she would gladly cut that hand off for him. Not the least bit intimidated, he released her. She put the glass she was holding down on the counter with a sigh. “It’s not convenient to our schedule. We have other obligations in the afternoons.”

“Well then, what about coming in the mornings then?”

She shook her head. “No can do, obligations.”

Tony then offered, “Overnight then?”

That seemed to make her nervous. “I’m sorry, but the current schedule really is the only time we have available.” Then, frowning, she asked, “Is that going to be a dealbreaker?”

Tony shook his head. “No, no, I was just thinking it would be safer for you both, that’s all. Why don’t you talk it over with your friend. Let me know if something changes.”

Over the weekend, the problem had bothered him. He’d gotten pretty far with the new suit modifications, he always managed to work better when thinking about an unrelated problem, but he still didn’t have an answer. And then he was muttering about it when Banner came into the lab Sunday evening.

“Why not give them an apartment here?”

Tony looked up halfway from his bench, not quite listening. “Huh?”

Bruce waited a moment. “The housekeepers? Uh, Sunshine and Kitten?” He waited for Tony to look up at him and put down the component. “If you are that worried about them out on the street so late at night, why don’t you put them in one of the empty apartments? Then they could be here when you need them, and they won’t be out so late.”

Tony blinked a few times, the gears in his brain starting to work on that suggestion. He made a few faces, pursed and unpursed his lips, cocked his head to one side, then the other. Finally his eyes lit up and he grinned. “Banner, I knew I kept you around for a reason!”

Bruce chuckled to himself, shaking his head as Tony started for the lab door, asking Jarvis about the available apartments.

 Monday afternoon, Tony was waiting for the two of them to come in the door. They were laughing and chatting as they put up their coats and bags in the closet. When they entered the common area and saw him standing there, though, they came to a screeching halt and stared at him. Tony smiled over his coffee and waved towards the dining table. “Ladies, have a seat.”

They gave each other a long glance and eased towards the chairs. Tony took a seat at the head of the table and looked at his watch. “Oh well, I’ll go ahead and start. I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the conversation you and I had last week.” He nodded towards the Lippy One, then turned to the Quiet One to explain. “I’m concerned about you two walking home so late at night. Especially since at least one of you doesn’t have the sense to NOT chase after an armed assailant. I offered to change your schedule, but she said that you two have…obligations.” Quiet One nodded vigorously. “So, thanks to the suggestion of Dr. Banner, I think I have a mutually beneficial solution. Ah, there’s Miss Potts now.” They turned to see Pepper coming out of the elevator, smiling. “Let’s head downstairs, there’s something I want to show you.”

The two women cautiously entered the elevator with Tony and Pepper. Together, they rode down to the 62nd floor in an awkward silence. The housekeepers kept exchanging nervous glances. Tony led the way down the hall to an open door and showed them in. They walked around looking at the dusty space. Tony could hear them talking in low voices at the other end of the room.

Pepper leaned over muttering. “Do they know why they are here?”

Tony pursed his lips and shook his head. “Not yet.” Pepper sighed. “Well,” he said to the housekeepers, “what do you think?”

The Lippy One replied, of course. “It’s going to take a lot of work to get it ready. It’s an awful lot to pile on top of our usual work.” She had one hand on her hip, looking a bit disgruntled.

“That’s the beauty of it, you don’t have to do it on top of your usual work. You can work on it in your free time.” Tony beamed at them, clearly proud of himself.

“Our free time? Are you serious?” She was incredulous, that was clear.

Pepper touched Tony’s arm. “I don’t think they understand.”

Lippy continued, “If Dr. Banner wants us to get his apartment together, then it’s going to be a separate bill, especially if we are doing it in our free time.”

Tony made an exasperated sound. “Then you can take that up with him. But what do you think about this place?”

“We think it’s dusty, dirty, and small. And definitely not strong enough to withstand any – angry outbursts.” She threw up her hands. “How is this supposed to make sure we are safe walking home?”

Tony looked at Pepper blankly. “I told you they didn’t get it,” she said.

He sighed. “OK, I guess I wasn’t making myself clear. I thought perhaps you would like to move in here. You wouldn’t have to be out walking the streets at night.” Lippy looked skeptical, Quiet looked a little eager. “We can remodel, you can move in your stuff, and you can have the run of the upper floors. What do you think? Say yes.”

Quiet tugged on Lippy’s arm, and they turned their backs and walked to the other end of the room. As Tony and Pepper waited, the two talked, sometimes with wild arms gestures and what sounded like growls. Pepper pulled Tony out into the hallway.

“So what sort of changes are you going to make to their contract?” she wanted to know.

Tony shrugged. “Well, hopefully, they will agree to move in here. So we’ll add the apartment in, and hopefully they will agree to work a few more hours in return.”

Pepper raised her eyebrows. “No other changes?”

“No,” he replied. “I’m confident they will show us their ethics.”

Just then, Lippy poked her head out. “OK, come on in, we have some things to say.”

Tony smiled at Pepper, and they returned to the apartment. “So the answer is yes, great, I’ve got to get back to work, move in whenever you are ready!” He turned to go.

“Hold up, buddy!” Lippy stopped him in his tracks. “We have a few things to discuss.”

Tony really did look puzzled. “Like what? There’s a kitchenette and small fridge, but you have the run of the common area. I mean, I know it’s a bit small for the two of you, but I’m sure you can make all this,” he twirled his hand in the air, “work.”

“What do you mean, make it work? What do you want us to do with it? It’s empty!”

“Surely you two don’t have that much stuff.”

Lippy rolled her eyes and took a deep breath, then spoke in a slow, calm tone, as if talking to a child. “This,” she swept her hand around, “might work fine if it was just me. But she’s got kids. This place isn’t big enough.”

Tony was perplexed. Kids? Nobody mentioned kids. Still… “OK, what do you need?”

“She needs three bedrooms, two baths. Wifi, cable, bigger fridge. More counter space in the kitchen.” Tony could see Quiet muttering behind Lippy. “I’ll be fine with something this size.”

“You aren’t going to stay with her? And the kids?”

“Oh, God no! She knows I love her, I followed her here, after all, but there is such a thing as too much togetherness. I can count the number of hot showers I’ve have since I’ve been here on one hand. No, I need my own place, and my own water heater!”

“Stark Tower has never run out of hot water.” Tony boasted.

“Yeah well, just wait. Anyway, we’d both like a small balcony.” Quiet squeaked and grabbed at her friend. “No fire escapes, and we need secure bars or something all the way up please. Her youngest has this thing about hanging out on fire escapes. Frankly we are both afraid he’s going to end up some greasy” (she pronounced it “greezy”) “spot on the sidewalk somewhere. But we also have cats, and they like sunny spots and being high up. Still, we don’t want them to end up like greasy spots either. I’d like space to grow a few plants too.”

Tony thought for a moment. “I think we can do a bit of remodeling. It’s nothing too out of the ordinary. It’s a deal.”

Lippy held up her hand. “Hold your horses, we aren’t quite done.” Tony rolled his eyes. “If we are going to live here, there are going to have to be some changes to the duties. And since you are the one who brought up the change in our schedule, it’s time to get that settled. We are each going to work 5 days a week, two days off. Sunday for both of us, and then each of us will take a different day during the week. We can switch to daytime hours, as long as that’s convenient for you.” Tony nodded. “And one more thing. I want a laundry room that’s not in the basement. I don’t know what experiment you have living down there, but I am done trying to get the laundry washed without getting eaten.”

Tony smiled, wondering what she was talking about. “OK. Anything else?”

They looked at each other. “Not at this time.”

“When are you moving in?”

“When will the remodeling be done?”

He did a quick calculation. “It’ll take about 2 weeks.”

They nodded. “OK, we’ll move in December first.”

Tony agreed. “Good. Now, can I get back to work?”

“That’s fine,” Lippy dismissed.

Tony couldn’t help but chuckle as he left. And he would see to it that the apartments would be finished on time, if not before.

#Tony is concerned #Bruce has an idea #Tony runs with it #new apartments #they'd rather not live together #separate hot water #Stark Tower never runs out of hot water #why did nobody mention kids #Lippy got really lippy #agreed #tony is pleased #Lippy seems hostile