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#just now remembered (bc hes a mannequin not a human boy)
mango-sideburns · 9 months
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My fav thing about TAZ is that any aspect out of context sounds fucking bonkers.
Like, in the balance finale there's a scene in which Garfield (who is very specifically never described visually bc most people imagine him as like. The Lasagna Cat. Who in this universe is the most powerful warlock in the realm and also has a hobby of cloning people, which is great for the one character that got forced into haunting a mannequin) is summoned by an alien spaceship that runs on the power of friendship so he could beat up some flashing balls. In D&D.
And that was just. Such a normal scene in the narrative. No one blinked an eye. I would like to bow down to Griffins clear unmatched talent for making me feel such big emotions over ridiculous shit like a goddamned umbrella or a regular ass pair of jeans or the idea of a taco recipe.
#taz balance#the adventure zone#taz#i have. so many drafts of this post decontexualizing so many different scenes.#merle killing a room of autism creature looking things by asking them to tell the truth which then summons god#also merle retiring from his retirement to run fantasy margaritaville under the title Earl Merle#magnus the mannequin telling taako and merle to find the baby voidfish bc the big voidfish sung at him real hard bc in the century he#just now remembered (bc hes a mannequin not a human boy)#he gifted an alien jellyfish with dozens of shitty wooden ducks. he forgot that century bc his friend fed the jellyfishs baby a book#the gnome version of Teddy Rucksbin turns out to be the universes most competent spaceship pilot. hes also a talented opera singer#a man named Barry Bluejeans is dead and uses his ghost haunting powers to gift the three heroes badges that they cant see#right before theyre shuttled off in a cannonball to save a space lab full of kitschy elevators thats snowing pink tourmaline#barry also uses his ghost powers to hold hands with magnus and make random shapes in midair like a dresser when theyre trapped in a#fantasy version of The Dating Game hosted by ghost Jesse and James Rocket who steal bodyparts if you lose their game.#or like in campaign how a dude who wiped out in the first three seconds of ninja warrior convinces a human wifi router#who owns a bible theme park to take the apparent King of America to the white house on their hovercraft to be trued for treason#after he announced his intent to take over the country in a televised debate with an inuit goddess who is sometimes trapped in the body#of an HR worker all Donald Blake/Thor style#anyways. this show is ridiculous and i love it So Much
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blookmallow · 1 month
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ok i REALLY gotta start going through my fallout 4 backlog. lets get this going
i have been having a delightful time
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my girl ruby before Everything Happened
i love fallout giving me the ability to alter my character's face over time so i can gradually add more scars and stuff. i love it. its weird to me looking at this screenshot now bc she's changed so much
though it occurs to me i think i took this before i had completely finished with her face bc shes supposed to have freckles and for some reason doesn't but w/e
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i LOVE that fallout 4 shows us Before the war. i love the intro a lot
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i didn't know about codsworth's massive name database and happened to pick a name he had programmed and let me tell you hearing him say my character name threw me for a loop sfjg
i cannot believe how many names they accounted for this is excellent
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oh look i have a baby
i don't love the assigned backstory though it took me a while to be able to define my character and it still doesn't really vibe very well for ruby. i think she was dating (nate? literally i dont even remember my tragic backstory husband's name sdgfjh) because he was a nice guy and she had no Reason not to. he proposed and she said yes because there was no Reason to say no. getting married is just what people do. they weren't Planning for a baby, but she got pregnant, and well, that's what's happening now. she wasn't opposed to the idea. she loves children. but the domestic life was never what she Wanted, not really. the truth is she loves the post apocalyptic life. she misses the world before but she loves fighting for justice and going out to rebuild the commonwealth with her own hands. she loves urban exploring and scavenging. and it tears her apart because she feels like she shouldn't. she lost her family. she lost her husband. she lost her whole life and is surrounded in human tragedy every day. but in her heart she feels she was made for this
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i don't know if it's the writing or if it's me or what it is but i just didn't really feel anything about this. maybe just because i was given no time to know this man or my relationship with him but im channeling it into my character as "she doesn't feel as hurt as she knows she should and doesn't know how to process any of this"
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why are the names written in like this. this makes no sense everyone else is listed by surnames except my family. i know it's probably so that you have no established last name but it's weird
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loving the fact that i can just x-ray vision all the containers and see what's in everything without even opening them. extremely convenient
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YOU'RE STILL HERE
MY BOY
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i felt so bad for leaving him behind i m so fucking glad he's okay but also, he has been stuck here alone for like 200 years. the trauma he's coping with is genuinely horrific
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my GOD everything looks so beautiful!! i had such a weird clashing emotional experience with this intro bc like. i love new vegas but it is very beige. and there's so much color here despite the destruction. i love the retro futurism aesthetic. the radio music is so jazzy and bouncy. so im having a great time and super excited to explore this new world but also, this is the worst day of my character's life,
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PUMPKIN
THERES PUMPKINS
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not food
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ew
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BLUE!!!!!! LOOK AT THAT BLUE i love these i love them
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fsadjgh thanks
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war never changes
how did this even happen what caused these skeletons to stay like this
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sweet rolls....
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who did this
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shout out to this fucking mannequin for scaring the shit out of me when i looked over here
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just. 200 years overdue. it's fine
i keep finding these and i pick them up every time im on a personal mission to find a library to put them in sfjkdg
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BLOOD CAN???????
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in-tua-deep · 5 years
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 Masterlist of AUs
okay i’m never putting anything under a read more ever again bc i deleted this whole ass thing and now i’m redoing it so forget me worrying about it being long af it’s what it is my friends
me, scrolling back through my blog: where tf are all my aus smh
(this is why i need them all in one place)
so without further ago, here we go (the title brings you to the tag on my blog, the numbers bring you the posts for that au): 
short stay au - Five jumps forward into the apocalypse and gets stuck, but not for forty-five years. No, in fact, Five is only stuck for one year before he figures out how to get home. Which means the Hargreeves get a lap full of traumatized teenage boy with no idea who the Commission agents trying to kill them are (one)
dolores is the universe au - Dolores isn’t just a mannequin, she’s actually the concept of the universe. The only reason Five can hear her is because overuse of his powers has given him enough exposure to the rift between world that she can reach him. But how to explain this to the siblings who think he’s just traumatized? (one, two, three)
immortal au - The first time Five died, he didn’t know it. The second time was harder to explain. The third and the fourth... well. In the apocalypse, Five figures out that he can’t die, which would be fine except every time he dies he resets himself to thirteen. Puberty? Again? Everyone is more than a little concerned about Five’s lack of concern over his welfare, but hey he’ll start caring again when he’s got further to fall okay? (one)
imaginary friend au - When Five was little, he had an imaginary friend named Dolores. He had that imaginary friend for far longer than he should have, to the point where Reginald intervened. And so they all remember this when Five pops back up toting around a mannequin and calling her Dolores, the only difference is Five has stopped giving a single fuck what old Reggie had to say and he isn’t giving up his friend again so easily (one)
instant arrival au - When Five jumps forward, he doesn’t jump into the apocalypse. Instead, he jumps straight into his father’s funeral. He sort of treats it as a weird vacation until he finds out Ben is dead and tries to return, and finds out he can’t. Now his siblings have to deal with a thirteen-year-old brother who saves the day by just being himself (one, two, three)
barking mad au - Vanya’s apocalypse was more targeted and only killed the humans. Five jumps into the apocalypse and instead of being alone, he’s adopted by the feral packs and colonies that have cropped up. He learns to bark and purr and growl and hiss to communicate, finding friends and family where humanity is gone. Of course, this makes returning to said humanity more than a little bit tricky. It’s not his fault his siblings are dense and don’t understand body language, ugh. (one, two, three)
pushed au - Instead of forbidding time travel, Reginald encourages it. He pushes Five to try it, and so when Five vanishes it’s Reginald’s fault. Written off as no great loss, the siblings realize how disposable they are. Who of them will be the next Five? Trust broken, they don’t stick around to find out and run away. When Five returns, it’s to a very different family who has learned how to depend on one another and protect each other. Together, they figure out how to stop the apocalypse (one)
memory mishap au - The siblings take Five’s hands and jump back in time, and it works! They’re thirteen again! Except for the fact that Five had managed to forget everything that happened since the day he decided to jump forward in time the first time. It’s the others turn to protect him as they run away. Five tries to get his memories back, but is that really what’s best? (one, two)
ghost five au - Five doesn’t leave. He stays, and when that one fateful day happens where one of them is slated to die, Five decides to bite the bullet and take Ben’s place. Even knowing Klaus’s powers, he wasn’t really expecting to wake up as a ghost. He somehow unites the family through the power of being irritating and getting Klaus involved. (one) 
broken five au - Reginald puts his foot down once and for all about time travel, by threatening Vanya’s life if Five puts another toe out of line. Five, fully believing his father capable of getting rid of the ‘useless’ child, shuts down. When his siblings find out what broke Five, they all decide to run away for their own safety as much as Vanya’s. They end up adopted by a woman happily living in the woods in her cabin who wasn’t expecting to adopt seven children but here she is and she certainly isn’t returning them to Reginald so. Seven kids it is. (one, two, three, four, five, six, seven)
run nanny run au - Look the nannies aren’t blind. They know Reginald doesn’t care about the kids and is looking at them like they’re weapons and not people, so it really shouldn’t be as surprising as it is that they decide to just take the kids and run one day. They are going to give these seven toddlers normal childhoods if it kills them, even if they have to dodge Reginald and the law as they do so. And no one forces Vanya to eat oatmeal like damn (one)
travel forward au - Instead of taking them back, Five miscalculates. It shouldn’t be unexpected, seeing as Five has never taken passengers before. But he manages to slingshot them directly into the future - into the apocalypse. The family gets a first hand look at how Five lived for forty years and gain a better understanding of their brother as he frantically works to get them all out again before they starve to death. (one, two)
daemon au - a crossover with the His Dark Materials universe by Philip Pullman, the Umbrella Academy live in a world where their souls walk beside them in the form of animals made of a material called dust. Of course, with these guys it can never be that simple. Ben’s daemon didn’t vanish upon his death and hangs out with Klaus, Luther and Diego’s daemons are always fighting, Allison’s is lazy and disagrees with her constantly, there’s something off about Vanya’s, and Five’s hasn’t settled yet. It’s certainly a bit of a mad house. (one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, art)
plush companion au - Dolores wasn’t the only friend Five made in the apocalypse. A terrified and grieving child, he built himself a city out of statues and mannequins and stuffed animals. He built himself an entire world in his own imagination to keep himself from crumbling to insanity. Of course, his siblings have a few question after their brother turns back up and suddenly there’s toys turning up in the manor? (one)
atla au - a crossover with Avatar: The Last Airbender, aka all the kids are benders. In a universe where the Xth avatar is foretold to bring about the end of the world, Reginald manages to get his hands on seven children born whose mother’s hadn’t been pregnant when the day began. Apparently he’s training them to defeat this eventual evil avatar, but little do they know that said avatar is among them and tricked into believing she’s a nonbender (one, two)
suppression au - Reginald doesn’t just use his power suppression drugs on Vanya, he uses them as punishment on the others. They learn that their powers can be taken away on a whim and as punishment, and they’re forced to adapt. Five teaches Vanya the skills he learns to cope without powers, because without them they’re on the same level of competency. Vanya realizes just because she’s ordinary she isn’t useless. A more confident and competent Vanya results, and it changes the future for the better (one)
pianist five au - Vanya isn’t the only child who picks up an instrument. Five learns how to play the decorative piano in the mansion so that he can accompany Vanya’s practice. It becomes more than a hobby. In the end, when words can’t get through to the White Violin, it’s perhaps only music that can soothe the savage beast. (one)
artist klaus au - Klaus was a good artist as a child before Reginald deemed art as being ‘childish’ and forbid it. He forgets until he does some art therapy in rehab, and reignites his passion. He steals notebooks and art supplies and does drawings and caricatures for a quick buck on the streets. When the apocalypse is stopped, he also introduces art therapy to his siblings. It’s just soft tbh (one, two)
out of time au - Five doesn’t jump to eight days before the apocalypse, he jumps to the day of. He has to figure things out and figure them FAST. As such, he’s much more open to delegation and includes Vanya in this because lord knows he’s aware she’s more sensible than half his siblings. And if Vanya and Leonard argue when she wants to look after her brother that she only just got back well, if the apocalypse was prevented by this rift then it’s probably for the best (one) 
how i met your mother au - The Hargreeves jump back in time, but way back to before they were even born. They find their birth mothers, and get to learn exactly who they were, and it’s a little alarming to find out that they’re all people. The kids built them up in their heads as the monsters who gave them up, but they’re just people with hopes and dreams and fears, capable of mistakes and who had to make a choice on the worst day of their lives. (one)
responsible luther au - Five only spends a year in the apocalypse before jumping back and is relieved to find he has four years to stop the apocalypse. Except, Reginald decides that Five isn’t getting out of his hands again and restrains him. The last child left in the house, Luther, has a choice to make. And he makes it. He chooses Five, and absconds with him from the house. Luther tries to help a deeply traumatized Five recover, while also dealing with his reunited family and Reginald teaming up with the Commission to kidnap Five back. To be honest he should have only expected a mess when all the Hargreeves come together (one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve)
in the trenches au - Just because Vanya is ‘powerless’ doesn’t mean useless. After all, Klaus doesn’t exactly have a combat based power. So Vanya was included, she was part of the Umbrella Academy, she went on the missions and killed and got hurt and risked her life alongside everyone else. Which means that she isn’t dismissed, she isn’t excluded. She’s as much a part of this as they all are, and that changes everything (one)
post apocalypse au - Just things I think the Hagreeves should get up to in a world where they have to deal with the fact that the world isn’t going to end and they actually have to inhabit it. They decide to try and live instead of whatever they’ve been doing for twenty-nine years, figuring out what they like and don’t like as they go where they were never really allowed to before (one)
late addition au - on one fateful day, forty-three women gave birth despite not beginning the day pregnant. Forty-three women produced forty-four children, and that one extra wasn’t exactly supposed to be there. Indeed, unhappy with the apocalypse plans, the Universe slipped her own child next to another as an almost sleeper agent of sorts. Five grew up with his mother’s voice in his ear, the knowledge that he wasn’t like the others, and a mission to take out the true cause of the apocalypse: the Commission. (one, two)
double trouble au - They stop the apocalypse, but that’s not the end of it because a few days after it all ends Five shows up. Except Five is already there. This is a younger Five who time traveled, except there’s no apocalypse to meet him now. Baby Five manages to convince his elder counterpart to see how long it takes the rest of the siblings to cotton onto the fact that there are two of them, and it’s downright alarming how long it actually takes (one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight)
pride and prejudice au - The Hargreeves have returned to Netherfield to figure out the estate after their father’s death. Airheaded Klaus falls head over heels for local soldier Dave Katz, much to the chagrin of over-protective and pig-headed brother Diego. Fortunately, Dave has the fearsome and wonderful Eudora Patch at his side as his best friend. And his little sister, Dolores, is best friends with Five Hargreeves? And for reasons unknown, the Handler is back and sniffing around. (one, two, three, four, five, six)
poster child au - Klaus is a little bit more accurate with that fire extinguisher and Five drops through into the courtyard with a bloody nose and the beginning of a frankly impressive black eye. It’s looking like the poster child for child abuse that Five goes to griddy’s, and Agnes isn’t leaving this abused child alone out front, right? So she witnesses everything and ends up taking Five under her wing and rolling with the whole ‘stop the apocalypse’ train. Along the way she adopts six more children adults, falls in love with an assassin, and saves the world (one)
mechanical boy au - Five and Grace have always been close, in their own way. Away from prying eyes, with careful sentences and unsaid words. Allies in survival against a man who doesn’t care if they live or die. An exploration of a Five who takes more of an interest in his mother, and more in subterfuge. (one, two, three)
ben saves the day au - Instead of Ben dying, it was Klaus. Without his two favorite brothers, Ben drifts away from the family. He leaves when he hits 18 and doesn’t look back. He builds himself a life, gets a job, learns to live. And then of course he’s tossed back into drama central when Reggie kicks the bucket. On the bright side, Ben got one of his favorite brothers back. On the other hand, it appears that Ben got the entire family’s brain cells in the divorce. (one, two, three)
robot five au - Five is just like any of the other Hargreeves, except of course for the fact that he shares more in common with their mother than the other squishier members of the family. It’s a difficult existence, trying to be yourself when even just having free will is too much to ask. But a little trip to the apocalypse and back and Five is done with all this human bullshit and would like very much for people to stop trying to kill his family, thank you. If the others can accept Grace as their mother then on god they will accept Five as their brother. (one, two)
the commission boy au - The Boy was the only success in a series of failures regarding experiments with Number Five’s DNA, or at least the samples left behind after his rather explosive exit. Growing up trained to be the perfect assassin, the Boy eventually discovers the Commission’s dirty laundry. Mainly, the existence of Five. Assuming that Five is another successful experiment and his ‘brother’, the Boy betrays the Commission and embarks on a journey to discover who his family are, and more importantly, who he is. (one, two, three, four, five, six)
hogwarts au - When Five is ten, a woman comes to the house and talks about magic. Reginald tosses her out, but Five follows her and tells her with wide innocent eyes that their father bought them and is planning to expose their ‘powers’ to the world. The magical community can’t have that, and all seven children are bundled up and placed at Hogwarts. They still have their powers, which don’t seem to be linked to their magic in any way, but they’re not about to tell any of the adults that. (one, two, three, four, five, six, seven)
changeling au - When 43 children were born around the world, they became a curiosity that got the attention of a powerful member of the fae, The Handler. Changelings are traditional, so she sent off a minion to swap one of the children with her own - except something goes wrong. The switch isn’t made. One woman assumes she had twins, and gives both of them to Reginald Hargreeves. Five grows up with rules. Lies burn like coal on his tongue, he is bound to his word, and he knows the true power of names. The Handler isn’t willing to let sleeping dogs lie. (one, two, three)
timeboy au - When Five is young, he finds a blue box in an alley that feels like home. He finds a friend, the TARDIS finds family. She finds him again, over and over through the years. Five grows up with the TARDIS’s voice humming in his head, blue glowing on his hands. He asks her to teach him to time travel, and she does. But when he jumps - time screams. It’s wrong. It’s time for a team up between Five and Team TARDIS to fix the timeline, prevent the apocalypse, and learn some important life lessons along the way. (one, two, ao3)
supernatural au - In another world, 43 children appeared out of thin air. In this world, Reginald is a collector. Of what, you might ask? Well just look in his library. Reginald Hargreeves is one of the world’s foremost expects on supernatural and mythical creatures. Why, just look at his children. (one)
pokemon au - Blessed by legendaries, the Umbrella Academy aren’t entirely human. They look human enough, but humans can’t learn pokemon moves. Humans don’t have a type. Reginald wriggles through a loophole, and gets custody of seven legendary children, though of course there are only six on a traditional team. Sorry Vanya. (one)
gym leader au - the Hargreeves are certainly a power family since they were trained from infancy to be the best trainers they can be. Of course, being gym leaders means they’re in the middle of all the weird and wacky shit that happens. Don’t mention the celebi incident that resulted in the dragon gym leader looking like a teenager, for the love of god. (one)
unviable au - Time travel doesn’t work. It needs a conduit. Taking all of time into something as fallible as a human heart... Five gets to the apocalypse, and he doesn’t immediately realize that he can’t touch things any more. He can’t interact with the world. He figures he got stuck in a pocket dimension of some sort, and eventually manages to travel back in time - except the only people who can see him are Klaus and Ben. They tell him that he’s dead, a ghost, but that’s not going to stop him from saving his family and, maybe, the world. (one, two, three)
prophet five au - Five’s time powers are a little different than canon. When he dreams, he sees the future. A possible future. He spends most of his childhood tweaking and prodding at the world to make sure his family is safe, terrified of being discovered. And then he starts dreaming of the apocalypse, of a life he hasn’t lived, and he decides to change the world. But he needs a little help. That’s where Vanya comes in. (one)
delayed au - when forty-three children were born, one mother looked Reginald Hargreeves in the eyes and said, no thank you. She would raise her child herself, thanks. Except her son turns five-years-old, and he’s not safe. He teleports, and he gets lost, and - she turns to the academy in desperation. Five knows about the outside world. Knows that he was loved. Reginald is full of shit, and Five tries his best to save the world. (one)
tog/tua crossover - Five dies in the apocalypse and starts dreaming of other people. Andy has been confused about the immortal child she’s dreamed about on and off for eons. Nile joins the team and with the power of google search, they set off to find the mystery child immortal. Five, on the other hand, would just like to stop the apocalypse and maybe take down the commission thank-you-very-much. (one, two, three)
rebel vanya au - Vanya’s meds suppressed her powers, but her emotions were fine. Vanya grew up loud, grew up sneaking out and acting out because the only attention she could wrench from Reginald was negative attention. With anger in her heart, a friendship with her favorite two brothers based on bashing their father, and girlfriend Helen Cho that was maybe an enemies to lovers orchestra au. When Five pops back up, Vanya isn’t going to let anything get in the way or her and her girlfriend’s concert, so obviously they have to stop the apocalypse. Right? (one)
the red book au - Five finds several things in the apocalypse. He finds an eye, he finds Vanya’s book, and he finds Reginald’s notebook. Five finds out about his sister’s powers when he’s just a teenager, and grows up knowing about them. This... changes some things, when he hops back in time to save everyone. (one, two)
five meets susan au - Susan Pevensie is an old woman now, but that’s okay, because Five is old as well where it matters. They’ve both lived through loss and love and heartache, both know what it’s like to be too old to be so young and too young to be so old. They both know what it’s like to be lost in a world so different from the one they knew before. They both know what it’s like to be left alone. But that’s okay, because Five needed someone who understands him and Susan is the closest thing he’s got. (one, two, three)
oneshots - Just little oneshots, usually within the scope of vague canon or post-stopping the apocalypse times where I write about just family bonding and conversation I would like to see happen in canon. Usually about the siblings bonding and occur on a whim. (one)
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session 11 notes (i’ll fix them one day but i’m agro this was tea hate this)
Two minute one shot while dom pees
Adam has a floaty tube
Asyna can't turn into a hippo
Giant seahorse
Jane austen
Elizabethh and darcy my hands are shaking
Dom has 4e books
Dom was pretty out of it last session
It's afternoon
Dom is toasty
In jacob's other campaign a goat bit off his penis so the goat's name is richard byter
"at first the goat was reluctant"
"what a goat"
Last week on dragon heist
We were meandering through the city
"one of you met with an old friend, briefly"
Zoo time
Aerana knows where the zoo is in the sea ward
Raised brick gate w high walls; on top are intricate metal railing spiked stuff
Entrance is v wide, not too many people going in bc it's raining a lot
Maybe
Apparently the weather is super important and I still don't know why the weather is so important
It is currently raining
Pouring
Ticket booth in the front
Gold piece per person
Botanic repository
We walk up to the booth covering ourselves w the hoods we have
Velvet rope line but we just navigate through it like in shrek
Adam goes first
Walks in and see smiling figure, human male middle-aged, heavyset, festive outfit, "thank you for visiting - oH how's it going?!" it's volo
He's doing research for his newest obok
Hi jacob's dad
Jacob's gonna go fishing
Volo under impression he would be one of zoological experts but no
"recommendations?"
They brought monsters in from the isle of chault
Points us off to the exhibit to go
Originally zoo was not a zoo as we think of but like throwing them in a pit and being like look at them think httyd
Now it's closer to what we'd consider a modern day zoo
Lots of foliage
It's a big zoo
Like the San diego zoo
Or disneyland
Dom talks abt his brother's haircut
We can run through it
Can asyna just sprint
Aerana and asyna r gonna run
Adam cel and theo r gonna not run
Most of the zoo taken up by exhibits devoted to the island
Looking in the entryway a lot of ppl r carrying pamphlets n papers and speaking in foreign tongues like tourists or smth ig
Adam casts disguise self to make him look as fancy as everyone else
Has feathered cloak
Three major pathways
Chault exhibits for weird stuff r left
Marine stuff and some chault r forward
To the right r monsters from the interior continent
Adam cel and theo (?) go to the right
Most ppl r in pairs
A lot of biologist-type ppl; ppl who look like they're used to handling animals
First real exhibit on the right is a human woman inside the exhibit throwing down pieces of meat to lions
Is asyna a moon druid ? Yes
How did the human woman get there ? But she doesn’t notice
"does this zoo have dippin dots" - lillian 2020
Perception check, 15
There r ppl selling stuff, sees dejected gnome sitting under a pedal cart w a dingy umbrella and he's grumpy n angry
Adam walks over to him
Selling diff snacks n refreshments
He's mostly selling a fizzle pop
Strawberry flavor, blueberry, butterfly flavor
"are ur fizzle pops made w organic butterflies ? Bc I'm kinda on a diet rn"
Adam says it's disgusting
"I'll have a blueberry thank you"
Cel is gonna try the butterfly one
It's sweet; doesn't taste like blood but does taste almost nutty
So like what I would think pistachio tastes like
Fun size popsicle
Theo gets strawberry
They go to the next exhibit
A really vertical exhibit
 Oneshot
Cel is gonna try and ride seahorse asyna but rolls a nat 1 for acrobatics and then a nat 1 for dex save
Smashes head on rim of the pool, bleeding out and unconscious
Healing words from adam
Climbs out of the pool
The water is now red
Three children on the other side of the pool
One of them gets really excited and pees when adam tells them that there's a chemical that turns pool water red
Asyna left the pool when the kid peed
Asyna leads everyone over to the hospital
Adam is gonna try and healing words fix cel
Cel is back to full health
One of the kids is crying scared when she finds out the water is blood
Theo is gonna go get the kids ?
Ok back to the zoo
There's a hippo exhibit
We go check it out
On the way there run into different typical zoo stuff
Apes
Monkeys
The younger ppl r around these exhibits
A lot of closed sections bc of weather like "don't worry next winter this animal will be back"
Alligators
Ringtails that r lemurs ringtail lemurs
Birds
Carefully curated trees that r uber high
Hawks and giant eagles
Oops my phone froze
Tap on the glass to say hi to the what now
Theo wants it to come say hi to her
Animal handling check, 10
Can't attract their attention but
The hippos
Asyna has speak with animals LMAO
Basically can't talk to worms
No more tapeworm talk :/
"Theo says hi . This is theo"
"everybody gangsta until they find out jacob thinks barney is a hippo" - dom 2020
Colombian drug lord one time built private zoos and the hippos broke out but now there's a hippo problem in colombia
Pablo escovar
Speak with animals is ten minutes
We're also probably fighting later
We're gonna talk to the hippos
Theo waves
One of them paddles over and tries to sniff
"hm . Can you eat it ?"
"pleaes don't"
 I just remembered seaweed is not a plant it's an algae
This hippo does not have a name
Calls sister sister
"ask about juicy hippo gossip" - adam
"no but if I did I would share it"
Originally zoo was place for research
Anything else to ask hippos before we check out rare animals ?
The hippo floats away and we say bye
To the chault exhibits
Getting late but there r a lot more researchers
First exhibit has a lot of strange, unfamiliar trees
Monkeys w really big fluffy sideburns clustering around overhanging branches bc it's raining
Some of them r taking leaves and using them to keep the rain off
One of the monkeys hops off the branch
The sideburns actually extend into wings and it goes to another branch
"it's like the wizard of oz"
"adam what's the wizard of oz"
Flying monkeys
Adam walks over to a researcher and asks the most must-see
Woman who is probably from chault bc wearing strange woven beret w branches n stuff
Alien to anything they've seen
"I would point you in the direction of the behemoths"
"what are behemoths"
Adam rolls nature check
9, he doesn't know what a behemoth is
She is from chault
Behemoths r considered friends there
Asyna and aerana know where chault is
Everyone else just knows chault is v far away, almost like a nightmare story told to children
Described as a hellscape
"I'd sooner go to chault than-"
Asyna and aerana know chault is a massive island to the sw of the sword coast, home to v tropical, intensely humid climate w lots of rain + some invasions in the past but now things r opening up
We're gonna check out the behemoths
From a distance, this exhibit much larger than others, much more heavily excavated
Not so much walls as railing looking into a deep cavern
All manner of plant life brought in to accommodate the creatures
Huge lizard of some kind
Huge size category
Irl a horse is large
Humans and dwarves are medium
Exhibit says it's a macetail behemoth
Ground trembles w each step of the behemoth
Slow, ponderous
Gigantic armored lizard w tough plating on its back and spikes on the sides of its head w bony, protective coverings all over it
Massive swinging tail protruding bone swinging back and forth as it walks
Looks like that one dinosaur
We would call it an ankylosaurus
Things that go over my head : see description bullet points before this
Tail end of speak with animals
Asyna can turn into dinosaurs
"you look really cool do you have a name"
One of them looks up but doesn't really respond
Doesn't answer
Look for velociraptors
Gonna look at all the exhibits
Spirehorn behemoths
Faces almost look like shields
Triceratops
Alien to us tho
I can't believe that like as dom's explaining these everyone else can like ,, imagine it
Like that's crazy they see pictures inside their heads
Feathered behemoths
Occasionally jump around
Claws and walk around on two legs
Bloodspike behemoth
Stegosaurus, baby and two parents
Asyna can turn into a deinonychus
We have enough time for one more exhibit
We see a creature alone in its pen save for two researchers dropping treats in front of it, other has a pickaxe and is tapping the ground and scooping smth up trailing the creature and brushing it into a bin
Creature reflects rainbow of colors ? I think
Huge snail, has three eyestalks but they kind of droop down and have heavy spikes off each individual one
Cel reads description
Flail snail?
It's a big boi
Described not as a beast but as something that comes from a realm of earth
As it moves it excretes glass
Generally docile but if prodded r really dangerous bc the things it has r more weapons than eyes
Adam asks if it's a petting exhibit
The flail snail is just as slow as a regular snail
"that is the most disgusting magic resistance I've ever seen in my entire life" - jacob 2020
Everything starting to shut down
We realize we should probs skedaddle
Time to find loser boy
Rain has not stopped but has kinda calmed down
Heading straight to the wig shop
Lamps in the trades ward r lit
Brighter than what we've seen recently
Adam peers into the shop
Perception check
6, tries to get water off the window, looks empty
Theo's gonna pick the lock
25, it's a simple lock and theo gets it open easily
Shop is empty
Somewhat eerie for those without darkvision bc the mannequins
Cel will go and investigate the back room, door is locked
Theo tries opening again
23, opens easily
Immediately smells weird powder
A lot of the perfumes for preserving dyes n stuff kept back here
Cel makes a perception check
16
V organized, neat and tidy
Manhole cover in the back
Sewer system v advanced in waterdeep but also means there's a lot of it
A lot of ppl will build over sewer openings bc cheaper real estate
"sewer access authorized city officials only"
Adam rolls nat20 for boxes
Looking for anything necromancy related, licking things, doing all manners of investigation
Feels a small leather sack, pulls it out, kinda heavy
Opens it up, sees coins that are kind of heavier and thicker; not silver, 5 platinum pieces
Platinum is 10 gp each
Could take the platinums
Scry the money and sack
There are cupboards at the front desk
Necromancy considered suspicious, looked down upon
"ah . It's like watching anime ." - jacob 2020
"no, it's not like watching anime" - dom 2020
The art itself is not a crime but the things that occur in tandem w it r usually crimes
Discussing what to do in character
Cel insight check, 16
Earlier dom mentioned we're aware many ppl in waterdeep use the sewers to traverse unseen in the city; kinda suss the building was built on top of a sewer
Adam is borrowing aerana's warhammer
Adam hits the floor, leaves big dent and a v loud sound
Cel makes strength check w advantage w crowbar
Rolls a 12, can't get it open
Can sort of shift it up
Adam smashes a jar over the floor
Dex check, 5
Cloud of neon yellow sprays out like a cloud of dust and smoke, just the color
Covered in bright yellow dye
Theo tries lockpicking
23, lock is more difficult and takes a little longer, but eventually it opens
Once it's opened, the chains undo themselves and snake out on their own accord
It's just a dark hole
Can see a short drop that leads to a staircase
Adam holds lantern
Cel's just gonna go w adam at the front, pitch dark
Darkvision lets us see to some extent; everything is in grayscale
Lantern beam does help us see a little
Asyna closer to front as well
Leads to a room, 10' x 20'
Descending down short flight of stairs, room totally bare save for a barred door that u can see out of, also locked
Hear faintly some water
Theo rolls 23 for lockpicking
Door opens
Adam investigating room for secret door, tunnel, anything
Investigation check, 10 and 5 for investigation checks
Look around but room is barren
Nothing stashed anywhere, nothing to indicate a secret door or anything
Adam and cel step out, to immediate right extends for 10ish feet before merging into wall
Directly in front is water and like a sewer river flowing to the right
"are there any rats" "make a perception check" "nat 1"
To left, passage curves so hard to see but for at least 40 or so feet the pathway continues
Adam rolls another 5 for investigation check
We eventually get to a small stone bridge
I FORGOT I RESEARCHED THE SEWER SYSTEMS idk if I should bring it up I brought it up
A 15 intelligence check
Waterdeep's sewers are a subject of fascination for the city
You know the passageway like the one ur in often has arteries or iron doors set in them leading to different areas
Also know sometimes due to poor planning or smth some areas without walkways also have access tunnels
There's a bridge ? Nasty water under it
Over the bridge we go
Cel rolls a 22, plenty of damp areas around ,, no light in the passage, walking for a minute or so and w each step just hear a wet squelching noise; we're leaving behind wet, muddy footprints
No sign of recent mud in front of us
10 minutes go by and every once in a while pass side arteries w more sewage flowing in
This part seems relatively well planned
Can only go straight ? No other curvature in the path
Traveling south
"I'm gonna try and get that rat" - adam 2020
Adam picks up the rat for sleight of hand check
22
"you're able to grab up that rat pretty good" - dom 2020
Adam holds rat out to asyna and tells her to do her thing
"hey buddy"
"uh you have to cast your spell first"
"hey pal how's it going"
"let me go"
"uh we'll let you go if you answer some of our questions"
"don't even"
"no he's saying don't eat him"
"my friend here holding you is gonna take a big chomp of you if you don't answer our questions"
"have you seen anyone"
"don't know"
"I open my mouth"
"I kind of want to squeak" - marguerite 2020
Rat points north
Adam wants a piece of string to tie onto the rat like a leash
Adam is starting to feel short of breath after 10 minutes of walking
"that's either from the powder . Or the key"
Adam doesn't feel indigestion right now just that it's difficult to get air
Adam tries to tie a leash to the rat
Dex check
Nat1
Rat runs away
We go back the way we came, another 10 minutes, we pass three of those stone bridges
Cel investigation checks the dead end again, adam will give bardic inspiration
"Open sesame" - song
18, nothing there
It's a maze, we'll try naya
Adam takes out sack of platinum
Naya appears, looks around and shudders and bounds away
Following the deer
Naya is guiding back to where we originally where
Moving south again
Looks at passage back again passage then vanishes
Naya was standing on one of the bridges
First artery
It's a passage
We gotta wade through the sewer
Aerana readies weapon
Wading through, halflings get disgusting smth in their boots
Passage goes 20 ft before turning on a diagonal, turn onto passageway then it extends v far into distance
"adam's adding to the sewage right now probably" - jacob 2020
Adam's feeling lightheaded
Cel makes medicine check on adam
Rolls a 6, don't know what's wrong bud
Adam rolls around in the sewer water to get the powder off ??
I guess he is
Adam makes a constitution save, a 3
OH? OH NO
The yellow stuff is off but adam is smeared in shit
Did I make a good or bad decision
We keep going but adam feels better like fine like nothing's wrong
Oh no adam's gonna die it's like hypothermia where u feel super hot at first then u die
Passageway stretches on for awhile until coming across a rusty ironed door raised so that we'd have to step up to access it
Aerana makes perception check on the door, 20 not a nat
Hears people shouting and what appears to be a cat
Can't tell if the shouting is bad or not
Theo wrings out cape
Go up to the door, realize there's no lock; the entire lock has fallen out bc the door is so rusty
Adam checks door for traps, 12 investigation
Does not appear to be trapped, looks p old
Adam is in middle, cel towards back, aerana at front
About 25' ahead is a wider chamber and a door set into the wall, the areas are lit
We already walked through the rusty door
Massive screeching sound that came from the door when u opened it
Gotta b stealthy
Door to the right is unlocked
Adam opens the door open, looks like a storage room w different crates and sacks; bland
Some water barrels, adam pours it on himself; the rest of us also do it
Moving into room adjacent to passageway; triangle things in the wall has arrow stuff to make it easier to fire from but the room looks abandoned
Deeper in we go
Don't go that far but hit a wider room extending out 40'
Center of the room; at one point looks like there was a wall covering the room but has since collapsed; several ppl looking at us
Far corner opposite to us is an old halfling man in dark robes, clutching wound at chest, long gray braid down back staring at us as if he heard we were coming
In front of him are two smiling skeletons
It's the necromancer
The skeletons r also looking at us
They appear to be guarding him
In front of skeletons are three kenku looking at us
Bingbong is not one of the kenku
"I can explain" - adam
"we came down here and I was covered in shit and" adam casts pyrotechnics centered in between skeletons and kenku
Initiative
Aerana, 19
Cel, 17
Asyna, 15
Adam, 15
Theo, 9
Aerana
Holds attack, if kenku move within 5 ft of her she'll attack
Cel
Skeletons have bows and shortswords
Kenkus have shortswords
Will hold an action if attacked
Skeletons
Appear to b human skeletons, medium size
Lash out at kenku
One kenku able to parry away an attack, other skeleton slashes another kenku
Asyna
Attacks kenku closest to her, the one not hit
15, "what are you attacking with" "iiiiiiiii don't knowwwwwwwwwww"
Asyna turns into ape
Runs up to terrified kenku
Swings both times but it gets out of the way and hisses like a cat
Adam
Casts pyrotechnics on kenku
One passes, one fails
Failed one is blinded for next turn
Cutting words on the kenku by asyna
Kenku
Blind
Tries to escape, skeleton misses and kenku staggers away and starts feeling way along wall and runs into room west of where we are
Other one
Makes attack on skeleton, half of ribcage slashed but it's still standing
Other other one
Tries to attack ape, misses
Halfling
Stands up, tries to flee
Theo
Hits kenku that tried to get asyna, 5 damage
Has sneak attack, deals 12 damage
Arrow shot into neck, still alive but not for long
Aerana
13 damage to other kenku
"how do you want to do this"
Kenku drops dead
Skeleton turns smiling to aerana
Cel
15 to hit, 6 damage, dead
"how do you want to do this"
Pulls arrow back as far as she can "and I don't know if it's bingbong, but I'm gonna pretend it's bingbong and shoot it right through his eye socket"
"I want to keep bingbong as a pet" - jacob 2020
"kenku are sentient beings, that would be slavery" - dom 2020
Looking around we see the bodies of three other kenku and remains of two other skeletons
The skeletons attack aerana
One hits, 3 damage
Asyna
Goes into the room to follow the halfling and the kenku
Some kind of exit around
The blinded kenku is in here
Can reach halfling or kenku
Marguerite wants to hug the halfling
Athletics check to do it
21
Old man screams but asyna can hold him, unable to escape
Kenku still feeling around on the floor
Adam
Follows asyna
Gonna cast sleep
Kenku falls asleep
Yells over at the halfling
"can you call off your skeletons please"
Halfling
Loser boy's turn
I don't remember how to spell losser unless it's losser
Tries to escape asyna's grasp
"he does not escape your grasp"
Asyna rolls another athletics check
17, he does not escape
Theo
14 to hit, 16 damage
"how do you want to do this"
Arrow to the skull just goes really far in and the skull falls off as do misc bones
Aerana
Misses hit
Tries to thrust forward w sword but it drops and contracts, sword slipping through ribcage
Cel
19 to hit
8 damage, hits shoulder and arm falls off
Skeleton
Misses
Asyna
Waddles the halfling over to adam
Gives him a little squeeze
Adam
baned halfling
And cutting words
No cutting words nvm
Halfling
Asyna rolls a 25
Can't squirm out
"unhand me there are more of them there are more kenku"
Theo
"ok. Bye bye skeleton boy"
22 to hit
12 damage
"how do you want to do this"
Hits him in the smile; teeth knocked out and all of it collapses like a xylophone type noise as the bones hit the floor
Out of combat
Aerana ties up sleeping kenku
Adam casts charm person
Cel is gonna loot
Investigation check, 7
10 gold combined on the kenku; takes
Halfling is charmed to consider adam a dear old friend
Says he just finished work on his new purse; his fanny pack (basically)
Not sure we recognize the material
Adam says he knows who sent the kenku
"you have the stone"
"they stole it from me"
Says he randomly found a nice stone from a rat
Adam puts his hand on loser boy's shoulder and asks if he wants to work from home
Trying to convince loser boy to come with us
Declines
The purse is made out of elf skin
Bc it's supple
Adam trying to get a magical weapon out of loser boy
Has a potion that protects from necromancers
Persuasion check, 24
Goes into side closet
Damage resist potion
Aerana kills him
Wow are you ?? Desensitized ?? Are you desensitized or does it help not being able to see anything ever
Adam rummages through loser boy's desk
Investigation check, 15
False bottom to one of the desk drawers w 100 gold inside
Cel investigation checks loser boy, 13
Finds a little wand w a skull tip
Adam is gonna look at the purse
This bag is a faint gold
Adam shakes the kenku awake, wisdom 13 saving throw
Fails
Charm person
Making dog noises
"you want to take us to your friends"
"I don't know where they are"
"then let's just go back to your base"
"get back to base ? No one knows where that is"
Adam introduces himself, mentions bingbong
Gets theo and cel's names, mimics sound of a hammer hitting metal when asked his name
His name is bonk now
Asks asyna's name, asyna is still an ape
Big hairy git
Aerana says she'll trade information for her name
Adam swings warhammer into ground to threaten kinda
Adam makes 12 insight check
We don't recognize any of the voices he uses
Asks if we live in a hole
Asks if the house is nice
Copies adam's voice for the house boom
Adam asks if he knows about the puppet
"couldn't tell you if I knew"
Nat20 adam runs insight check across entire conversation
He's lying abt not knowing where his friends are
I DFJGSLGJS THAT'S WHAT I WAS SAYING ABT US STILL GIVING UP INFORMATION ASFKJAFD
Adam asks him why he was lying
Hear a voice we've never heard before
But this one in particular is bizarre and warped as if it's through some filter
"do you know what happens when you lie to me"
Adam
Anyone w passive perception over 9 hears a bottle break and a door slam in one of the rooms to the south
Cel hits his brain basically
Some of you starting to piece together that smth strange is happening
Pattering of footsteps from room to the south
Session over for the night
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airshipcity · 7 years
Note
everything but 7 for animorphs
came back to bite me in the ass, as i knew it would 
name ur politically correct ship that no one ever questionsuh. oh boy. cake?? not a strong advocate but their moments of butterflies and happiness brings me joy 
now name ur trash shipratmance. this should come as a surprise to exactly no one 
and ur really trashy im-going-to-hell shipdavid/taylor, honestly, because they could fucking wreck shop if they collaborated against the animorphs (or anything) and actually MANAGED to work together, but i absolutely LOVE the idea of their dynamic being “quickly figure out exactly how to rile each other up and push all the right and wrong buttons, to the point that their alliance becomes a weakness in and of itself for the animorphs to exploit” 
who is your cinnamon roll fave who everyone lovescassie, because i like to pretend no one ever posts cassie hate and never have and never will. i live in a world where cassie is appreciated and loved and critizised for her actual mistakes and misjudgments but not vilified for being wrong sometimes or having a moral compass 
who is your sinnamon roll fave who everyone loves to hate/hates to loverachel, possibly?? maybe marco?? they’re both good but definitely more sinnamon than cinnamon, possibly even burnt and bitter cinnamon rolls who have been through far too much 
who is your trash fave who is so problematic they probably have hate tumblrs dedicated to them if i saw a dedicated david hate blog i would clap like a hungry seal and promptly follow them and then i would immediately link it to you so we could be deeply amused together 
what is the fic you want to write/read but can’t because it is too full of Sinremember back in the day, years ago, when i wanted to make an entire zombiemorphs au??? centered on ratmance????? That One
what is the most sinful fic you have ever read/writteni’m not saying it’s the one where jake and cassie do the do and morph a lot in the process, but it’s probably that one (read, that is. i absolutely did not write that one, i only write unprompted silliness and far-too-serious au junk in this fandom) 
what is the worst thing you want to become canon (character death, trash-ship etc)david returning properly, which INDUBITABLY counts as a worst thing but i want this so bad that i’m literally writing it myself just to scratch my own self-indulgent itch 
what is your most sinful headcanonmarco and david made out on exactly one occasion, and they’ve both sworn each other to holy silence on the matter. it was horrible and they both know it. both blame each other for the taste of unclean teeth and eggy breakfast. 
what is your cutest headcanontobias made off with a bag of his old clothes in his talons to bring to rachel’s place, for emergency purposes (and so rachel doesn’t start every human-tobias-requiring mission with shopping new brand clothes for him). rachel sometimes puts one of tobias’ messy old t-shirts on a mannequin she’s got. then she pretend-dances with it and has random conversations with it when she’s cleaning her room etc. tobias caught her once while she was hugging it and burying her head in the mannequin’s shoulder and decided to give her an hour of space before finally flying over to her window and asking her out on a nice burger date where they could maybe hold hands and lean on each other 
what is your heart-breakingist head canonthe same t-shirt was curled into a nice, soft pile by where rachel slept the last few nights before the big showdown. clearly used as a kind of makeshift teddybear to hold onto. cassie cries when she finds it, and tobias just flies off because he can’t stand to think about how he should’ve found the time to give her a proper last hug 
what is ur crackiest crack shipi mean, this is probably still david/taylor. or erek/marco. i’m going for erek/marco actually 
what is ur marginally less cracky crack shipdavid/marco, re: the marco impersonation thing that resulted from david committing Mysterious Shenanigans that left marco tied up in a closet iirc?? i rest my goddamn case 
what is ur favourite ridiculous audragon age inquisition au, where they’re ALL inquisitors w marks due to being at the wrong place at the wrong time, but they’re a complete band of apostate misfits who accidentally keep finding these rifts and have to fight demons and demon possession so they can close them. except they have to be covert about it so visser three corypheus doesn’t hunt them down to end them. (david is a rogue, but the shitty kind who knows how to make traps but is shit at setting them up bc he never warns his team so they all walk into them and david just laughs and calls them idiots. he’s easily goaded by visser three corypheus into traps as well though. also he keeps offering to help pick locks but he’s shit at that too, he just likes to show off that he’s Different and Better even though he absolutely, evidently, isn’t.) also taylor in the role of calpernia. cassie’s a spirit healer and mostly does buffing and only fights offensively when she must but marco is somehow almost always the first to fall in battle. cassie spends so many revive spells on marco every week. rachel bonds DEEPLY with leliana over clothes and fashion and comes along to orlais all the time, and insists on having morrigan teach her how to become a bear. rachel bereskarn is a terrifying sight to behold 
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