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hergan416 · 9 months

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Hi!!

Um, so abt Louis/Moniepenny: tbh the idea came to me outta the blue! I was thinking of drawing Louis and Moniepenny together since they’re the only characters who wear glasses LOL but then my thoughts spiralled from there 😅

I know Moniepenny doesn’t show up all that much, but I love her sm, she’s one of my underrated favs 💗 also since Louis now heads MI6, I imagine he and Moniepenny would interact a lot more, and maybe fall in love slowly 👉👈💗 maybe Louis occasionally feels inadequate about his own skills compared to his brothers, and slowly opens up to Moniepenny about it. And maybe she knows what that feels like too (especially since she’s a woman and ppl would’ve underestimated her a lot, which may have made her question herself on more than one occasion). They then begin hyping each other up!! They work together more often, and we could maybe even have the classic “one of them gets injured in a mission and the other goes feral” 👀 and BOOM at that moment they realise they’re in love

With regard to Sherlouis, it could be considered enemies to lovers, right? I keep thinking of that one scene from Princess Mononoke where she holds a knife to Ashitaka’s throat and he falls for her lol. Louis holding a knife to Sherly’s throat, and Sherly is all puppy eyes. It could be a case of Sherly falls first, Louis falls harder? *puts on rose-tinted glasses fabulously* 🌹🕶️

Sorry I rambled, I was kinda excited to talk abt this 😅🌻🪻

Oh I love that like a slowburn coworkers to in love for them.

I'm imagining her venting her frustrations about how the mission to get Moran back went, and Louis gently reminding her that she's herself and not Bonde, and that there's nothing wrong with having different styles of working as an agent.

I'm also imagining Moran being super jealous of Louis when he gets back and he realizes 😂 Not because I see Moran as specifically caring about being with Moniepenny I sort of read those canon interactions as just general machismo on his part, but because I think he'd be sort of affronted that it was Louis lmao.

I think they could have a really sweet relationship; there could also be some point where Louis starts wanting to protect her and she has to remind him of the frustration he feels when was being coddled and not allowed to participate in anything so that she's allowed to have normal assignments 😂

Sherlouis:

YES I definitely consider it enemies to lovers. I'm ... pretty sure I haven't seen Princess Mononoke, because that does not at all sound familiar but also YES. Sherlock is great because while sherliam works well, I think he could fall just as hard for any of the brothers if the one to pay attention to him wasn't William. He just likes the Lord of Crime. He thinks Liam is the Lord of Crime... and he is, but he's not everything the Lord of Crime is, they all very much share in that role, and I think Sherlock would appreciate the aspects any brother brings to the role.

The only thing with Louis is that Sherlock is seen and then disregarded so often that I feel like he's sort of insecure about it. Something I've seen said on my sherlouis writing is that Louis ends up liking Sherlock despite himself in a way that just is not true for Sherliam, and I can't imagine Sherlock not seeing it. My Sherlock keeps causing problems in Poison Paradise because of that -- Louis is far to tsundere to openly admit to liking Sherlock, and Sherlock can tell there is conflict in Louis' interest.

But there is a lot of physical tension between them, partially because Louis has such extreme reactions to everything Sherlock does. There's this kind of unhealthiness about it that makes for a really interesting dynamic and a good story.

And I'm so glad you also see the beauty of masochist!Sherlock Holmes xD

#louis/moniepenny #sherlouis #ask answered #THANK YOU FOR SENDING YOUR THOUGHTS THIS IS SO GOOD #sherlock holmes (ynm)#louis james moriarty #moniepenny #moriarty the patriot

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kimikoyukiart · 10 months

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Hey! Idk if you remember, I'd talked to you about making your aymeric x estinien housing art into ffxiv housing. Ever since then, I have really fallen in love with your art style! I am also a noob artist and opened comms recently, but I haven't gotten any yet haha do you have any advice and tips for me to help gain an audience and commissioners? Thank you and goodluck with your shop!

Hello again! Yes, I remember gosh thank you so much for enjoying my art! Also I'm always super happy to answer art stuff since I'm in love with it, but I will open with a disclaimer specifically for the growing audience bit cause for a long time I've primarily been an OC / original art artist and it wasn't till I became cripplingly obsessed with estimeric that I grew some semblance of a following so I'm a pretty small artist by most standards ;;; With that said, here are my tips and advice which I'll separate into 2 parts

Putting this under a read more cause it's LONG

Commissions (mostly about expectations, best practices, and organisation to make it easy on clients)

Have some kind of commission page (here's mine for example) to make it easy for your clients to be able to reference something and for you to direct new inquiries to. This can be anything from a website/carrd to even just a google doc/tumblr pg. Will there be clients who never read this? Absolutely. BUT it's also great for clients who are shy and/or who like coming prepared

Have a Terms of Service section!! In our current day and age of tech bros and assholes trying to exploit and scam creatives I cannot express enough how just having a TOS will deter these ppl! It shows you're serious and that you know what you're about, making you less of a target!

MOST IMPORTANT! Be kind to yourself!!! Opening commissions is exciting due to the prospect of making money from something you love and it can be very disappointing and demoralising when you don't get any! It's also a very "feast or famine" type of roller coaster, so don't feel bad if you don't get any, even super large artists struggle!

Building a following (from someone who's doesn't actually prioritise this so take it as you will!)

You've probably heard this before but fanart is definitely better at drawing a crowd than original art so I feel obligated to mention it. (I'm a pretty classic case study of this imo lol) And the reason for this is that there's already an established audience out there that loves the content you're making unlike original art where you're starting from ground zero. Does that mean you should give up making original art if you want followers? ABSOLUTELY NOT! And honestly most of my advise will be from the perspective of growing an audience via original art because you can apply the same principles to fanart so here we go!

Consistency is key. Being a constant presence on your existing followers' feed means having consistent chances for them to share/engage with a piece of your artwork, which means more chances for new eyes to see them which means more chances for followers etc etc. But what's the pace? Well that depends on how brutal you're interested in being with yourself unfortunately....if you die hard want to grow as fast as possible then once a day (i've seen some artist do more;;;) but it's something I would NOT recommend for all sorts of risks. (you can mitigate the risk ofc but that's like a whole thing in itself) I'd advice you to figure out a pace that works for you so that you maintain a healthy relationship with your art

Join events/zines/bandwagons. Whether it's things like drawtober, ffxiv art parties, or zines, engaging with community/communal activities (especially those with hashtags/promos) can help you engage with people who might not have found you otherwise. If you're a social person it's a great chance for you to make friends who have similar interests too! Making art related to a piece of media that just came out is also great way of engagement since people are probably looking for it (for example spidersonas or dressing OCs in outfits to watch the barbie movie)

Make it easy to find your art when someone visits your page. It doesn't necessarily have to be a full portfolio, but giving viewers a place to see only your art posts is crucial imo. Tumblr is great since it's tagging system is fantastic making this part easy but places like Twitter for example only have a single media tab; so making a thread for art post or keeping your media tab clean is ideal. (you've no idea have many artists i've chosen not to follow cause their media tab is 1 awesome piece of art then just 500 cursed memes/reaction images lol)

HARDEST BUT MOST IMPORTANT POINT! Make compelling art. I follow artists who post a piece of art maybe once every....I dunno 3 months if even that, but when they do they get thousands of notes, why? Because it is a compelling piece of art. Something that touches the heart or makes you gasp in awe or swoon from it's vision or die laughing. And this is the hardest point because what that looks like is completely unique to you. Basically it is your answer to the question of "Why do I make art?" which artists everywhere all around the world, regardless of genre or industry, are trying to answer themselves. The one thing you MUST REMEMBER while you try to figure this point out is that it must involve Love. That means loving the journey; the grueling failures, steep learning curves, and all, because if even you don't love what you're trying to create other won't either. And that's not to say you have to be happy about a piece of art not turning out right (I still cry from frustration myself all the time) but it does mean be kind to yourself when you fall so you can pick yourself up easier when you stand again

THAT WAS SUPER LONG WOW! With all that said tho those 1st 2 points for growing an audience is what I would recommend focusing on! The internet is all about engagement and you can't have that if there's nothing to engage with! Also because it just bears mentioning that sometimes it is just a skill thing and you just have to get better at drawing BUT that is not to say skillful=complex! Nonono take a look at webtoons like "My Giant Nerd Boyfriend" by fishball or "Sarah's Scribbles" by Sarah Andersen. Or illustrator's like loonpflug or mmeiccaa. It's not complex but it's some FKIN GOOD ART!

Ok I will stop my ranting here GOOD LUCK AND DON'T FORGET TO BE KIND TO YOURSELF!! You are more than how many numbers you make on the internet and I hope that you always remember that 💖

#asks #oh as a footnote i guess #pretty promo posts for ur comms will prob help #if you see comm promo posts that look pretty u can save them as refs for urself #just make sure they're clear #also luck #so much LUCK #so don't feel bad if it takes awhile #just keep at it #AND HAVE FUN!!!#also also the risk mitigation for consistent posting rlly is it's own post #so feel free to ask again if u'd like to knw more #or wanna knw anything in general lol

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thetenamongstthesethrees · 1 year

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TW: REFERENCE TO SH AND RELAPSE OF SH AND SUICIDE ATTEMPT

Ok so ik ive been inactive for a *WHILE* and im srry for that but like i have a buncha things that happened these past 3 months that I NEED To share SOOOO....

First things first, the one im most excited abt: I DID MY FIRST PERFORMANCE!!! My school was doing little mermaid jr and I got Scuttle! I was really happy to get my first role and getting at least one solo, and Im just happy overall on how it went! I think I did really good on my first try! Only bad thing was that now im kinda going through my lil mermaid hyperfixation and have been looking up fics where Sebastian and Ariel kinda have a Father/Parental Figure-Daughter or Older Brother-Younger (stupid but ultimately well meaning) Sister dynamic and have started to write a fic on that bc no ones done it before apparently😒(im going cray cray, bonkers mayhaps)

Might've gotten my eye infected(I live in the east of the us, new york to be more specific and woke up the day after the "live vintage (BLAME CANADA/j) filter" with my right eyes nerves slightly more irritated and haven't gotten that checked out so thats fun)

FINALLY finished that one drawing ive been making for 3 MONTHS.(well, technically....)

Almost done writing my passion project, AKA the one I originally wanted to make into an animated series but have settled for a book just in case that can't happen! I still need to work out some kinks, design more outfits, get all their personalities in check, make sure the world and magic is fully fleshed out, ect.

I also do band, and while I originally thought that I would have a problem bc of both band and theatres close scheduling(i originally had dress rehearsal on june 2nd, AND my band concert on June 2nd) but it all worked out in the end! My band concert went great, and while the dress rehearsal was a mess, we at least got through it! :)

Unintentionally quit SH! I was originally only meant to stop until AFTER performances, but ive been bettering myself and learned that if I ever want to forgive myself or at least move on I gotta stop feeling sorry for myself and not forget nor forgive, but remember, i just can't let it haunt me. I know I'll relapse, I always do eventually, but I want to enjoy these few moments of mental "clarity" while I can. I've also learned that for some reason i tend to become a more terrible person and despicable person the more time I spend at home with my mother, so that's fun. God, I hate America's education system, its messed me up BAD. AND the foster care system. I just tried to kms 2 times today, and she didn't even notice, or care. How sad is that?

On a lighter note, yes, as the rest of yt and TikTok, I got a minor lil hyperfixation on the Lorax and really think ppl should make more [PLATONIC] Lorax and Onceler dynamics, mainly the type where they're like some really annoying pair of bickering siblings or a father whos sick of his adopted child's shit, like there is so much on the table for platonic fluff and angst and most of what I've seen is romantic smut and fluff like CHANGE IT UP A LIL

Also, Ive been going to karaoke centers on Tuesdays and have become a lot more confident to performing in front of ppl! So far, I've performed "All You Wanna Do", "The Ballad of Jane Doe", "Heart of Stone", and am gonna do "What the World Needs" the next upcoming Tuesday, where I'm gonna try interacting with the audience while singing!!

(Also, before I end this....I may have ADHD??? my teacher who has ADHD says some of my behavior is "similar to hers"(i feel like thats just her way of saying i reek of neurodivergency) and I also did some research and I display similar/exact behaviors listed, have taken online tests from doctorate confirmed sites and basically all of them said to go get a diagnosis. I also found I do a few behaviors similar to stimming! Also also, I kinda suspect a lil more bc my mom has Autism and apparently sometimes neurodivergency is biological (i forgor the word) but my mom is kinda in denial abt my Depression diagnosis and thinks I got anxiety "biologically", so if I tell her I wanna get tested for ADHD shes just kinda gonna gaslight me into not believing that and i already told the school therapist and basically she just told me that I'm probably just imagining things or copying behaviors from my mother and that "kids like to give themselves all these titles nowadays" so I just did what I always do which is to keep it shut and act until they think you fell in line)

So yeah, thats all! Thanks for reading, now that my schedule is clear again ima start posting more frequently again, so be aware :) <3333

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magnoliamyrrh · 11 months

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i guess. one of my genuine questions is (also bc i dont read or watch supppprr many things) can someone pls give some examples of western fantasy/sci-fi/nonrealism etc series which,,, are Both culturally diverse but aren't to be labled problamatic in one form or another?

like pls, i rly am curious. because generally novels and such while they tell a story in another universe or time, they are a critique and allegory for current things happening irl or that have happened irl. theyre inherently grounded in whats happening here

and yes, there is nonfiction/fantast/scifi/etc which is written from outside of the west or filmed from outside of the west and i think thats rly cool and i think those sort of media should be more widespread and commonly known and gain more attention and in the context of films and series and such given more of an opportunity to be adapted. this is the age old discussion around representation - its better to just get more diverse ppl in general to write things than have the same ppl write abt them more. fully agree

but im asking specifically largely in the context of western literature and media and such. when its fantasy, or scifi, or some combination of something, it is most often grounded in a)broadly focusing on things happening irl b)historical contexts (on the topic of dune, its set where and how it is bc the story is an allegory for and critisue of american and russian imperialism in a series of islamic countries). for a lot of them bc theyre made in the west, the most heavy infleunce is a western one - weather current western society or like western medieval histories. this shows in lore building, in costume design, in characters, in sets and designs and the world and a million other things

.but at the same time, people want representation. people want to see character and places which arent just that, right? people want to see a diversity of cultures and people?

... but then, many times whenever a place/culture/people are introduced which are clearly based on/infleunced by certain regions of the world or ppls (as the others are themselves clearly based on some western societies), people say this is inherently cultural appropriation. of designs, of language, of beliefs of this and that. even in the cases where i haven't seen ppl say its stereotyped or its harmful or orientalist or etc, its still cultural appropriation bc its showing things clearly infleunced by nonwestern cultures..... ... but then. im sorry this is what trips me up. if this is Inherently cultural appropriation and Inherently bad,,,, than,,, how do you have represention? how do you have a fantasy world which then isnt an entire globe or globes of western european cultures essentislly? because saying "well just invent wholly new things for everyone!!!" doesnt rly work. everything we create like that is inherently bound by a series of things no matter how hard we try to be "original" - and especially if youre trying to make it more grounded in reality that just.. doesnt work. these things inherently are using whichever western language as the set language, and a series of cultural and historical things to draw from...... so........ is it better to just,,, have a diverse cast but with no unique or other cultural infleunces at all, and just shove them all in a clearly western-based fantasy? but then ppl dont like that either... and if english and such and western infleunces can exist, why is it that it must inherently be bad or problamatic or stealing to adapt other cultures, places, regions, languages into that? to try to show and adapt at least to an extent the actual diversity of the world..?

and im really really not saying that there do not exist genuinely offensive and harmful and stereotyped and orientalist and noble savage and villainous and everything else ways that this has been done in. thats not what im saying at all, bc there have been and are and its an issue... im speaking and asking,,, more broadly. bc ive seen this be said plenty more broadly abt the adaptation of cultures in any way rly

#like idk maybe its stupid but its gotten me ?? for years now #not that certain ways of doing it are without taste or stereotyped etc. but that in general adapting anything else mostly ever is #appropriation #;; when its trying like at least Trying to bring diversity and show the beauty and existence of more ppls and cultures ?

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queerical · 1 year

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I posted 4,206 times in 2022

129 posts created (3%)

4,077 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@eternal-flame

@uncontinuous

@mrs-theirin

@the-eldritch-it-gay

@caterjunes

I tagged 4,206 of my posts in 2022

#one piece - 415 posts

#video - 413 posts

#me - 251 posts

#laugh track - 232 posts

#the witcher - 187 posts

#flashing gif - 141 posts

#tropes - 138 posts

#anime - 133 posts

#roronoa zoro - 122 posts

#dracula - 112 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#you're just sitting on your high horse smug in having one up on them becuz you have more life experience and ''know better''

My Top Posts in 2022:

honestly kind of in love with the fact that zoro is Just Some Guy

like. luffy is the son of monkey d. dragon. usopp is the son of a member of shanks' crew. nami had her history with arlong. chopper is a fucking reindeer doctor. robin was the most wanted woman as an 8 yr old. sanji is a prince from a family of assassins. franky is a fucking cyborg. jinbe is a merman. vivi is a princess. brooke is a goddamn skeleton

and then. you have zoro. who's just there with all these ppl with notable backstories like "yea i was obsessed with sword fighting as a kid, and then my best friend died so i decided to become the world's greatest swordsman" and by god that is what he is doing

man is off the wall batshit insane for literally no reason that's just Who He Is. he became a renowned pirate hunter by complete fucking accident. ppl were always mistaking him for the captain and he was just like nah. he's the only one in the worst generation that doesnt have a devil fruit power, he's Just That Fucking Good At Swords

fuck. i love him

141 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

i love luffy and robin's relationship so much 🥺

149 notes - Posted February 27, 2022

Sanji: Aww, marimo, you had a crush on me? That's so embarrassing.

Zoro: We're married.

Sanji: Still.

176 notes - Posted March 18, 2022

i can't fucking breathe usopp really looked zolo in the eye and told him he was going to hell

217 notes - Posted February 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i haven't seen any criticisms about this, so idk if it's an unpopular opinion or not, but i actually like that oda draws yamato like he draws his cis female characters. i mean, yamato deserves muscles, but that's true of pretty much every female character as well so. we'll set that aside for now

kiku passes pretty well. oda basically draws her like he draws cis women, and it is refreshing as hell to see a transfem character who /isn't/ a transmisogynist caricature

but in yamato's case, i like that he's curvy with big tits because.. everyone still recognizes him as man. he doesn't have to pass, he doesn't have to look like the cis male characters. his body is unaltered, he seems pretty comfortable with it, and he's a man and everyone knows it. he's welcomed in the men's bath. even his shitty ass father uses his correct pronouns

this is a nuanced subject ofc and trans people's experiences are many and varied and our representation should reflect that. but in line with that, there are trans people who don't pass, or who can't pass, or who don't care about passing. there are trans people who don't really feel compelled to change their bodies

and it's nice to see a trans character like that, personally. yamato has a body that most people consider female but he is unapologetically male and no one questions his manhood. he is how he is and he is a man

678 notes - Posted September 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr #personal #ofc all of my top posts are one piece lmao

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vegance · 2 years

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sorry it's controversial vegan opinion hour again. what do you think of drawing a line between veganism-the-diet and veganism-the-set-of-ethical-beliefs. I've seen support for this, mostly in the form of wanting ppl who avoid meat for environmental or health reasons to not use the word vegan, bc it refers to the belief that animal suffering is morally relevant.

But the conclusion of this is, I think, that you could conceivably be a 'vegan' while not totally avoiding animal products. One can believe that animal suffering is terrible and worth putting a great deal of effort into preventing, while also believing that the individualist/capitalist framing of reducing your own consumption of those products to zero is an ineffective method of activism - an opinion not only held by non-vegans.

Over the past few years the number of vegans has grown massively, as well as the number of people reducing their meat intake. Nonetheless animal ag continues to grow. If we, as vegans, conceitedly say 'I've saved two cows and fourteen chickens by being vegan' we are simply lying - individual non-consumption, and even the large movement we have today, just haven't shut down farms or convinced them to rear less livestock (as far as I know - and i'd obviously love to be proved wrong here).

I also think an ethics-first personal-change-much-later approach could do a lot to convince people to join the movement. Without the intimidating weight of dietary change (difficult especially for people in poverty, food deserts, or with eating disorders) more people would be willing to challenge their ideas about animal rights and investigate the animal ag industry. Although it is true, at least in my case, that stopping consuming animal products made me a lot less conflicted and willing to admit to that ethical truth.

sry for the long ask, I'd love to hear your thoughts

i do really think we need to frame veganism more as an ethical concern again, in the public eye (though i also really do believe the environmental perspective will be very helpful). and doing the best one personally can is enough for me to consider them vegan

i don't think its true that vegans have no effect, the way that the animal industry is fighting veganism shows how threatened they feel by the movement. but it is true of course that it needs to work as a movement.

i'm honestly not sure how exactly we are going to achieve that shift in veganism that allows many more people to consider it. i honestly think it might be the climate thing, because people are more open to it. if people are already not eating a lot of animal products, it will be easier for them to step away completely. but its complicated, and i don't think we can really know right now what works.

i do think we have to be careful not to fall into the trap of welfarism though. which is not to say that i think those changes are meaningless. but they can quickly become and excuse not to do more

#sorry this took me so ling #what do my fellow vegans think about this?#ask #am i coherent?

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sincelastsession · 13 days

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I've missed telling you things. But I'm stoned and I honestly don't want to remember.

How are lobotomies these days? Can they sever instead of do a nerve block to my lizard brain that keeps screaming DANGER DANGER DANGER? Is this an option? Do I need that part of my brain?

Travis is getting his drummer friend to find me noise canceling 🎧

They asked how quiet I needed it to be.

I told Travis "I don't want to hear a bomb go off" "Deafen me bröther"

So maybe that will help.

My mom wants to go to lunch tomorrow and look at garden homes. 🙃 I am scared I'll lose my shit because she presses my buttons like only a mother can. Just huge trigger if she's not calm and patient with me. She just had a huge fight with me about how she didn't want Mexican food because the Guatemalan ppl can't cook...and was acting like a racist petulant child.

I convinced her to go to spoke and hub. Then she will have a new restaurant to hate on I guess.

I wish the chill part of me would take over tomorrow but I feel like it's gonna be the take no shit manager and firefighters. I don't want that to happen but it's like so second nature to react to crap.

Yeah a nerve block sounds FANTASTIC

Honestly I'm constantly taking a leftover Adderall for a future session so you can see the difference and God maybe we can write a letter to the medical board and maybe my psychiatrist can just continue to write it. I only take 5mg max a day split up into 2.5mg doses...so I really don't see how taking that during the day with my xanax daily meds that oddly don't conflict and then just smoke my weed before bed.

But the problem is its 3 substances that are usually never prescribed together. They just happen to be the best combo for me and I'm a different person on it. I can hold a conversation.

Maybe the medical board would approve it if I could state my case and show them the difference?

Idk I just miss when I was a more functional person.

I have agoraphobia so bad some days I literally cry by my door because I can't leave.

But other days I want to go wandering around by myself in the woods.

I feel like a guy sometimes like that's weird because I do identify as female but yeah get moments of feeling like a man...I feel like I could maybe draw what the parts of me look like in minds eye.

Sometimes I feel like a small Asian woman like on kdramas and that's also odd.

Sometimes my little side pops out when I see cute things.

Sometimes a gruff dad.

Sometimes me at 16

And I'm sure there's more.

But idk if I'm me or if I'm somewhere else hidden

I say little me I don't mean inner child

My inner child doesn't feel there.

Honestly Joshua if I could afford it I'd see an emdr therapist in Lafayette and I'd make the weekly drive. I'd also see if hypnosis therapist would work. I would build an army to help me.

You aren't doing a bad job. I however haven't seen anything in my email you said you'd send and I'm not happy abt it but I'm sure since you are human you got busy

I do wish they had a manual for neurodivergent ppl and autistic ppl that translated what neurotypical ppl mean and tips and tricks on how to communicate with them.

They always think I'm fighting with em.

I hate one people call me negative. I mean I'm sorry I've been dealing with trauma since I was 2 years old so it's very hard for me to see the positives and it's not for lack of trying.

If I'd given up on getting better I'd have quit therapy years ago.

I feel like I could easily get a social work degree but it's not something I want to do as a profession. I mean do some LCSW just take like easier cases with big idiots that just need to be told to go ground and touch grass? (Joke) but no I mean I assume there's some easier clients is all.

I really don't find Myself to be a negative person I Find Myself to be a realist and I also Find Myself to be sort of a cynic and an absurdist. I do like philosophy but I do not like it enough to study it as much as other people get into it I do go down rabbit holes

I mean not only is my interest that is special and medical but I do like lots of other things it's just been had to be primarily focused in medical so I didn't get missed diagnosed and almost fucking die again because nobody likes that

It's aggravating to be your own advocate in the medical world Like it's really a big pain in the ass to fight doctors and nurses and people that do not know what they are talking about and I do not ever mean to sound egotistical but a lot of people mistake me talking like this for that

Like currently my rheumatologist is seeing a friend of mine that has a disorder that is very similar to what I had growing up and the woman is having a reaction to the method track state and I keep telling her to call our rheumatologist and go to the ER but the woman says that our rheumatologist said that's normal and I know damn well it's not normal and she's gonna end up in the ER somewhere or another and it makes me feel like an old retired charge nurse even though I'm not even old enough to be one of those sassy old charge nurses.

The funny thing is my mother is a charge nurse but she doesn't exactly act like one because she also has to make drama and play the victim.

I mean I really can't believe that she's trying to get my sister hooked up with medical marijuana right now

My sister already relies on street Marijuana that could possibly be laced and smokes it constantly all day every day

I mean honestly I sound like a giant hypocrite because I'm stoned right now but I don't smoke as much as her I used to smoke as much as her if not more and I got to a point where I could not get stoned anymore and I decided to quit until I had pain issues again and so now I'm having to legally medicate and that's pretty weird feeling when a couple of years ago you could have gotten arrested and it's weird having to convert the Scared emotions about taking my medicine into positive emotions about taking my medicine because I still get nervous when I'm about to smoke like I'm about to get caught.

I suppose you can say it similar to the feeling of walking out of a store and feeling like they're gonna stop you for shop lifting even though you didn't do anything

I have very intrusive thoughts like that all the time and I assume it's part of my o CD but it's really annoying and usually when I take my Adderall it goes away completely but I can't take it and it's pointless to take it because I only have a few left in the fucking bottle and the medical board won't allow me to have that prescribed and it's stupid bullshit and politics and the health care system for mental health is completely fucked and I've known this since I was a child And I don't even know if there's a way to fix it anymore honestly because they have screwed it so bad

I really wish that I could have made my goal make my brain better and then make me an independent and knowledgeable enough to live on my own without the help of others without my parents finances and So that I might travel or move elsewhere because I get so stir crazy but I've been stuck inside and helicopter and micro managed and harassed and terrorized and fucking abused for so long that it's scary to go places because I feel like I'm going to get in trouble for everything I do

I feel like I'm going to get in trouble if I breathe too loud

I mean I'm sure I could give you more examples because like sometimes I really do think that something takes me over and talks for me because I don't understand how else I would even function enough to communicate with other people with the insane amount of shit that has happened to me. I mean I still have things in my memory bank that are foggy and behind. closed doors. It sucks that I keep remembering things because it's the time where my brain feels safest to finally be able to understand what happened to me and stuff because I know it protected me a lot as a child and it's really weird that I just have all negative memories and only little glimmers of good things I really don't remember a lot of the good things my parents said that they did for me I don't remember a lot of experiences I've been told that I've had that were good. And you know that a lot of people have blamed on medications that I take but I have never had any memory issues due to this particular medication that I'm on that I have been on for a long time it has not really changed anything in that regard. The other ones however did fuck with my head like that.

There is something terribly wrong with my father mentally and I really would love to get him help but I don't know how to do that without it affecting my life in a major way and I don't know if I could handle another major life change without absolutely losing my shit

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sweettsubaki · 1 year

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Girl, you guys are too sensitive when it comes to Buck. NO ONE is bashing him, it's all about feeling sympathetic towards Eddie and the position he's in / his point of view. But then again there's always been a MASSIVE favoritism towards Buck over anyone in the fandom, leading you guys to become misogynistic and apologists of tbh shitty behaviors. Like Taylor? Yeah I never liked her at all, but that shit that Buck pulled with her? Fuck no. Season 1 Buck? Fuck no. Buck has really grown as a person, we love him, but the majority of you have a favoritism that's always been based on attraction and it shows on the way you speak and showcase your opinions.

Usually starting a sentence by "you're too sensitive" is very much used to gaslight someone so, heads up, I'm likely not gonna take what you say afterwards very seriously. Especially since you're on anonymous. Also I'm known for a lot of things but sensitivity isn't one of them...Kinda the opposite even. But I am easily frustrated and I did vent, which as far as I'm aware shouldn't matter to you.

"no one is bashing him it's all about feeling sympathetic toward Eddie".

Ok so either you haven't seen the numerous posts I'm talking about and you took it upon yourself to speak for everyone or you don't know what bashing is. Either way not the best look for you but I have seen many (stopped counting at around 50 posts) talking about how Buck is an ass for daring to say that to Eddie. Not "poor Eddie's been rejected" but very much "Eddie deserves better than someone who doesn't appreciate him" posts (I've literally seen at least a dozen variation of this sentence), often followed by people using that as a proof that Buddie is toxic actually. And just generally very little critical thinking involved and changing the whole scene to mean what they want.

There might be favoritism toward Buck. Probably, most likely tbh. I mostly follow buddie blogs with either a buck or Eddie focus and other more general blogs with no focus at all. Buddie's the most engaging part of the fandom and the funniest for me in general. Because I follow Eddie girlies as much as Buck ones I don't see the difference and I generally don't venture too far away 'cause Chim is my favorite and I've seen too much racism when wanting to look for him so I stopped venturing too far off the fun people who make meta that seem a bit too much but are still enjoyable.

Now even if I personally didn't witness it because I've curated my own experience on Tumblr and don't interact about 911 on any other social media, he's the young White Adult in a fox procedural. So I'm not surprised there'd be favoritism towards him in a mostly American/western fandom. I've just been talking about this specific situation because it managed to hit my recluse corner which is a feat in itself.

Now that also doesn't matter in this case. Like there being favoritism in general doesn't change that there has been bashing here. If you don't care about it or feel vindictive about it then good for you but that's clearly not my case. That's why I avoid it in the first place.

Now I'm probably biased because I've curated my experience but as far as I'm aware, most people don't like season 1 Buck ? Never seen someone who loved this side of him. Because he was the youngest and most immature, it's easy to focalize on him if you like long ass development, but that's it. And most ppl who talk about s1 talk about it in a "look how much he grew" way so I have no idea why you're bringing it up?

As for TK, you can despise her without it being related to Buck. I personally found her appealing as a character, but the same way I find villains appealing. I very much loved to hate her. The woman does not care about others and will step on them to get what she wants even if she violates all moral ethics and loved ones to do so. You can dislike what she did to Buck without caring for Buck, like in a collateral damage way. But I get people absolutely hating her (I draw the line at mysogynistic behaviors which I luckily mostly avoided but I don't doubt they were there). Buck was an ass yes but he felt guilty about it and also learned and grew from it ...still is learning from it actually. That's a huge difference in my book and probably others. There are no unproblematic characters, just characters willing to be better and those which aren't (relatively speaking since it depends on what the writers find problematic). I mean Hen cheated on Karen (which I still do not comprehend in the slightest), Bobby is linked to the death of his kids, Eddie abandoned his child for years. Chim is the one who did the least problematic thing in general because he's the one with the most empathy and the closest thing I can think of is punching someone he loves when distressed and panicking about someone he also loves. And I've heard Chim got a lot of racist shit from it and while I have no doubt it's true, my curated experience means I didn't have to deal with it.

As for your last point, I happen to be aroace and I'm the kind who only understand what attraction means as a very abstract concept. (I especially don't think muscles are all that interesting but I'm happy for the people who like thirsting over big muscles).

And so like...yeah I've seen people thirst over the actor (as much as Eddie's), but thinking that people who are basically just talking about media literacy and "how the fuck are there enough posts that they ended up in my circle that's usually undramatic as fuck", are doing so just because they're attracted to the actor seems a bit bad faith.

So maybe the bashing only happened in this corner I thought would prevent me from seeing character bashing and needless drama, but it's still happened and it went from funny memes (which I liked and still have queued) to literal tirades of how Buddie is toxic and Buck is the worst. That wasn't me exaggerating, they literally said stuff like that. Which is a terrible take, like how do you even get to this point. So I vented and you thought it was a good idea to come to my inbox to ...I'm not even sure what this is for...warn me ? Annoy me? Insult me? Something else?, well whichever, I'm just using it to vent some more...because holy shit have I seen dumb takes in the past few days.

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gunsatthaphan · 2 years

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idk why but seeing some ppl say how danyok steals the show and how they watch NM just for them makes me so sad? like I enjoy seanwhite so much but I'm not talking about how amazing the main couple is and how the second pairing doesn't interest me so why do ppl who enjoy second couple more feel the need to say that they're more interesting couple and they don't like seanwhite? now this isn't about your post but it reminded me of some comments I've seen

hi anon!

I get what you mean. I've never been part of the group of people who prefer the side couple over the main one (except for ramking) and I remember also being like??? whenever I would see comments where ppl freak out over a side couple I didn't care about lmao. So I get it.

Generally speaking I think it's the sensation of the underdog secondary couple unexpectedly rising above that attracts so many people and that makes them want to be vocal about it. Which I understand.

However in this case I don't think that so many people loving danyok means they dislike seanwhite. At least I haven't seen any negative comments about them. Or maybe I looked in the wrong places lol.

But I for one absolutely love them and I would never undermine them, despite how much I love danyok. But as someone who is not used to feeling so strongly about a side couple, them being such an unusually strong pairing is what draws me in and what wants me to be expressive about it lol. Of course that's just from my perspective but I think a lot of people feel the same way 😉

xxx

#not me #danyok #dan x yok

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destinyc1020 · 3 years

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You know I been thinking if anti think there just friends then why are they making such a big deal that they hung out together like people will always speculate especially fans like if there just friends why are they crying they preach friends can hang out and once it confirmed they hung out they keep saying there were with other people around them like they don’t want them to be friends and draw unnecessary attention I keep saying this anti blow things up for no reason actors get ship all the time and they brush it off let Tom and z deal with it they never ask fans to do there almost 25

THIS☝🏾

I've been saying for the longest that Antis are the main ones blowing things out of proportion MOST of the time. Most Tomdaya fans are NOT tagging Tom and Z or family members and friends in "Tomdaya tea" or screenshots. Antis are doing that.

Granted, I'll admit that SOME Tomdaya 1.0 fans tried to "OUT" Tom and Z in the past by tagging them, and inquiring about their "hanging out", and I've NEVER felt that doing that was right. 🥴 It was crossing the line imo. I think some fans really wanted them to be outed and tried to unfortunately force that, and that wasn't right. And while I would have loved to have seen them go public, I think MOST Tomdaya fans these days have chilled out, and don't care if they go "public" or not.

I'm not sure about other fans, but at least for me, I know that personally now days, I'm a MUCH more chill shipper. If TZ are indeed seriously dating each other again, I don't care if they EVER "come out" these days lol (especially given their recent experiences with "going public" with other ppl lol 👀). I don't even care if antis believe that they are a thing or not. Like, I honestly DON'T CARE anymore lol. 🤣😅

Go ahead and believe whatever you want. 🤷🏾‍♀️

All I care about is that Tom & Z are both HAPPY (which, they appear to be), and my biggest joy is that they're on GOOD terms with each other again...whether friendship-wise, or romantically. It honestly doesn't matter anymore. Imo we already "won" when they spent Thanksgiving together again. 🥰

And yea, I agree with you.... if Antis really believed that they were "just friends", they wouldn't be breaking their backs lurking on Tomdaya blogs or sipping the tea as SOON as we get it lol 😏. If they REALLY believed that Tom and Z were "just friends", they would simply just ignore our ship.... plain and simple. And they wouldn't talk badly about it either, because why would you hate two ppl who are "just friends"? Even if they're shipped together? 🤷🏾‍♀️ I don't see anyone hating Jake Gyllenhaal, or the Gyllenholland ship. 🥴

It's so funny too how "Tomdaya fans" have been blamed for EVERYTHING...... from the trio NOT taking fan pictures together, to the covid-19 pandemic 🙄. OK... I'm exaggerating.... But you get my point. Has it ever occurred to anyone that even Tom and Jacob haven't taken a shot together with each other either? Is that due to Tomdaya fans also? 🥴

In case some haven't noticed, most of the cast members are being VERY secretive about this 3rd movie. Some are posting stuff, and then QUICKLY deleting it... etc. This has been happening since the beginning! Even Jamie had posted his announcement of involvement in the movie, then deleted quickly. Barely any of the high school cast has posted anything on set. Like c'mon..... this isn't due to "Tomdaya fans". 🙄 Sony and Marvel are being extremely secretive with this film.

But of course, nobody mentions that.

Bottom line....I keep saying that Tom and Z are gonna do what THEY want to do, regardless of what fans say or do. So all of these ppl who are "scared" that shipping is going to somehow "ruin" Tom and Z's friendship with each other can just save their concern trolling for smthg else, because obviously them being shipped together for YEARS hasn't "ruined" their friendship in the least. 😏 Their breakup caused a little tension, but "shipping" never ruined their friendship, and I don't think it ever will. If fans are being super disrespectful and rude to their separate significant others while they're dating other people, then that could cause some issues.... but otherwise, other than that? Naaaa....

And if so, somebody needs to tap Tom on the shoulder and tell him so that he can minimize his comments about Z lol 😆 😂

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fluffi · 3 years

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so should i reply in tiny font or just regular font?

hybe should do better in spreading out the comebacks of the groups under them :/ they're already at a huge advantage, might as well use it strategically. AHA streaming mvs is so convenient for a multi. the filler vids i could use in between could be mvs from the other groups that i stan. also you know what, i still haven't watched a single final performance bc im waiting for a friend to watch with me :D

i have a chinese movie recommendation in case you want something to cry over. i still love its ost and it's been months since i watched it. i'm not sure if you watched it already but more than blue. i've never cried over a movie as much as i cried for that one. the angst *chef's kiss*. i'd do anything to wipe my memory of it and watch it again for the first time.

also sungchan is mc-ing in inkigayo every sunday! and honestly, what the hell is nct hollywood :D but a part of me thinks it's just going to be a bunch of asians living in america like johnny that'll be a part of it. just a hunch tho. imagine having all 4 units coming back in a year with like 1 unit per quarter of the year. i'm not sure if sm even has the money to do this, especially when they filed bankruptcy recently.

and i've seen a lot of twitter memes saying taro's ghosted stans T_T alexa play ghosting by txt T_T sm come on give him smth to do, you're wasting talent.

the mall didn't burn down entirely (like from the outside it looked fine). the ventilation system caught fire so it was more internal—ceilings and all that. covered things with soot(?) and ashes so the entire mall was closed for nearly 2 years. and hey, i've experienced a school fire too back when i was younger. i, too, thought it was nothing but a fire drill until i saw the charred remains of the buildings behind our school : D thankfully, no one died.

the new nct track is for a samsung commercial AHAHA it's funny because nearly everyone uses apple TT_TT and the mv screams neo culture tech tho (well as it should lmao). yes, i was talking about that part in hot sauce but yes, it grew on me too.

ateez really know how to do a performance. they put the standard so high for me when it came to performing. their facial expressions and overall stage presence just impresses me. it's been a while since i've seen idols draw me to them by those standards.

ah, the long stan list! good luck in getting through it and i hope you do have fun as you go :] (also you can check out aurora by ateez and whiplash by tbz. the songs popped up in my head as i was typing this reply, you might like them)

ohhhh, what was the pd48 scandal? i don't watch survival shows so i don't know any of the stuff going on. would you care to elaborate? about their disbandment :(( i hope you're okay now tho! are the other girls still debuting in new groups? anyone eyeing an acting career instead of being an idol?

YES, A PATTERN IN THE BIASES (if you count an analysis of two ppl as a pattern, that is.) because it's the same pattern i have for my biaswreckers :D jake & seungmin, not only do they have the same animal to represent them, they have the same 'golden retriever' type of personality that just makes you go all soft. ygwim ;n; i wish i could elaborate but both boys just devastate me in the same level and my friends pointed out that they were quite similar in some aspects.

jaemin used to send really long bbl messages :< like if there was anything he loved most it was nctzens and it was obv in his messages. speaking of dream, album repackage news today! idk what to feel bc my hot sauce albums haven't even arrived yet :D + i'm dead br0ke.

how do you even manage to read 30k TT__TT i cant handle long fics bc of my attention span :D also, yes, i found the user now, i'll check if i'll like their works soon. <33

YES YOU SHOULDVE BEEN THERE T_T what a day that was. i think seungmin is still sweet and active in bbl. not a single cent goes to waste with him. also i think i'll post the drabble some time this month.

and oml seungmin vs jake :o let's see how that goes O.O XDD

clickity-clackity AHAH do you have a mechanical keyboard? :c i wanted one too but i haven't got around to saving up for one. but yes indeed, typing asmr v relaxing \m/

sunny hyuck day, fullsun sunday, fullsunday T_T feels were very strong that day. i kept seeing edits on my twt tl and i would just s o b : D i've only stanned nct for a year but i've seen him grow so much i just wanted to crie i love him sm :') yk my mom didn't cook spaghetti for my birthday, but she cooked for hyuck's? : D

and i checked ur recs blog and indeed, full of nct T_T

also have i mentioned that your desktop thing amuses me so much HAHAH i got confused for a sec if i had twt opened or tumblr. plus, i've been wanting to mention that i noticed that our mobile themes are opposites. black and red, white and blue. it's cute XDD <3

help, people have been telling me that our asks are long but i highkey love it. i added a ‘keep reading’ for the mobile users though, sorry in advance hh.

honestly, both works. tiny font saves space but regular font does more justice for my poor eyes haha. its your call!

hybe comebacks :( yeah enhypen got lucky because they came back right before cb season so they got three wins (yay)! on the bright side, txt just got their first win and bts has six wins, so it all works out i guess. omg yes, the streaming thing is perfect. i stan like 20 groups so i have a never-ending cycle of filler mvs and its always so helpful. ooh for the final performances - you wont regret watching any of them! literally wild, kingdom's budget and talent are wild.

ooh, I don't watch any cdramas lmao. i want to but i can barely finish kdramas. if its a movie ill watch it! ive never heard of more than blue but ill check it out <3 where can i watch it?

yes yes i have just realized that sungchan is yujin's co-mc! i watched their special stage (which is literally adorable) and was today years old when i realized that the dude is sungchan pls. nct hollywood was so unexpected and i still have mixed feelings about it now. LMAO JUST ASIANS LIVING IN AMERICA...help. that would be interesting (?) but the concept reminds me of those horrendous awesomeness tv shows. lets hope sm pulls this off well and proves me wrong. lmao all 4 units coming back would probably happen, but i hope none of them get overworked :( i constantly feel like mork lee has four clones :'( also...sm filed bankcruptcy??? dang, what happened?

ugh omg yeah shotaros talent is seriously being wasted in the basement right now. as for fires, scary T-T i wasnt that fazed by them until the australia wildfires happened, and i learned about the consequences of fire and got really scared. its good that the entire mall didnt burn down though! although its weird that no one is opening it :( schools really need to tell us the difference between drills though, it might be dangerous for those rebellious kids.

yeah i just realized that the nct track is an endorsement which partly explains why i cant listen to it. the mv's visuals are stunning!! the set and people are so gorgeous aa i cant

oh yeah im not an atiny but i have acknowledged since 2020 that they have one of the best, if not the best stage presence and expressions on stage for 4th gen. i think their only worthy competitor would be stray kids actually. theyre truly one of a kind and all of them are cute especially that yeosang guy. i will definitely check out your song recommendations though!

oof the pd48 scandal is extremely complicated. to condense it in a few statements: all of the girls' rankings have been rigged since the very beginning and it was rumored that they already had their end group before the show even started. it was like this for pf48 and pdx101 (group x1) which was why x1 disbanded within a month of debuting, and izone were on hiatus for like 4 months. im not the best at explaining stuff like this haha, but i think you get it. you can check out yt or search up 'pd48 scandal', a ton of articles and videos. as for new groups, nothing has been made clear yet. theyve only made instagram handles for now and appeared on variety shows haha. as for acting career, hyewon was supposed to do acting but was forced to join pd48 so maybe she'll continue acting afterwards? nothing is confirmed yet!

lmao two similarities, its okay it counts. ah, true, i can see their similarities now that youve mentioned it, as well as how jeno is kind of like that. however, i am currently attached to jaemin so we'll see what happens from there hehe. i swerve easily.

jaemin on bubble grr, that would be a whole experience. from the bare minimum of vidoes ive seen for him wbk jaemin is so whipped for czennies. ah yes repackage! i saw the post on instagram and went to the comments to see everything screaming ‘iM bROke!’ and it was lowkey hilarious lmao. kpop is really trying to suck our money T-T.

ope the longest fic ive read is like...40k words i think? and it was by jeonginks. ill read anything eiko produces lmao, theres always so much substance in her work. ooh, tell me what you think of luvdsc’s stuff, i just finished binging their entire masterlist lmao.

seungmin vs jake yeah, i havent been catching up on skz enha content because im still obsessing over the dreamies but when that saga is over then im going to focus on my ults lmao (which might include dream soon, hehe).

yes yes i have a mechanical bluetooth keyboard that i use to connect to my computer! it literally sounds amazing lmao, its only 10am here but i feel like im going to doze off from the clickity clackitys already. i cant wait for you to get one! tell me when you do, we can match hehe.

hyuck is an aodrable brat please. hes like the best comedian of nct at this point, so hilarious and filled with variety i love him. he rose up my bias list pretty fast too. LMAO YOUR MOM IS SO COOL I LOVE HER ALREADY. if only my mom would cook for my ults’ borndays.

yes my rec blog is a mess right now, ill organize it soon haha.

omg thank you and yes my website theme is one-of-a-kind. even i get confused when i open it or edit it, and i constantly get comments about it. also i just realized our opposing theme colors and i love it! its adorable.

#long post #also im listening to love song right now haha i love it so much #also sorry for not answering yesterday hhh i got busy last night #「 asks 」#moots — [♡] ;#toffee — [♡] ;#neo-shitty

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