#just been musing about my writing style of the man as of late | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

foxes-that-run · 5 months

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I guess I'm late to this realisation but seven and Matilda both are track seven and they have the same themes... abusive household/troubled childhood. Taylor said seven is about a friend while performing it on father's day?? And I read Matilda is inspired by someone in Harry's life...so it's not just about the character. Could both the songs be about one person somehow?? Also I read that Harry was 7 years old when his parents got divorced. Is this related to seven? I'm new to the haylor lore (not like super new it's been over a year but the lore goes so deep that i keep finding new details) and I'm losing my mind over this. Maybe I'm just overthinking idk

I think they are about different people, but also think both are intentionally vague about the subject to protect the privacy of the person they respectively care for.

Seven

Taylor has hinted Seven is about Harry several times, there is a post about it here, to me the boy in Willow being the man in Willow is the clearest hint, Taylor said it was a Seven reference in the livestream for it's release. Also the title, age, details etc.

Matilda

Rolling Stone has a really great article about Matilda, which I think says it all:

Harry is less direct about Matilda, to me the Lyric:

'You showed me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days'.

Sounds like the muse is a fellow songwriter who was in his life in 2012 and played a hand in him wanting to start to write his own songs. Harry also said he thinks the muse 'would probably know but they haven't talked about it' further sounds like the muse understands lyrics, listens to his music but they don't talk about some things, yet share vulnerability.

To me the character Matilda is a fitting metaphor for Taylor and the way he spoke about her/the song rings true for them to me, both not talking and that he's confident she would get it. When they met she already had an AOY Grammy and was touring Speak Now, an entirely self-written album.

Because the book character's family let her down doesn't mean the muses did. I had thought the family was a metaphor for how she was treated by her record label/fans. But the email from Taylor's dad has me thinking about it. I have a partial draft about that song I might post one day, but not yet I think.

Also Matilda is co-written with Amy Allen, who also wrote on Adore You, I wonder when it was written. Harry said there were a couple of songs on Harry's House that are older, including Little Freak and Boyfriends (which was written in the same week as Adore You).

#harry styles #harry’s house

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marinsawakening · 4 months

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Been thinking lately about the Fanfic Writing Style(TM) and how incredibly restrictive it is because any deviation from a fairly paint-by-numbers third person POV tends to be wildly alienating to the average fanfic reader, and will actively be avoided.

This is especially obvious when you look at how first person POV fics are treated; they are automatically associated with bad quality, and people will immediately turn away from a fanfic the moment they see it's written in first person. There are reasons for this; firstly, it is true that beginning writers will often use first person because it feels a little more accessible than the other options, and most beginning writers are of course not very good yet on a technical level, especially not if they are also children, which many fanfic writers are. So the association between first person and bad quality is not entirely baseless (though, y'know. definitely at least a little mean spirited, if unintentionally so). Secondly, and this is a personal sentiment but one I've seen some people echo: first person can read weird when combined with fanfic, because fanfic often does not benefit from a closer connection with the POV character. We are here to watch blorbo do thing, it can feel a little weird when it is instead I doing the thing, y'know? This is personal preference, of course; no accounting for that.

However, regardless of the reasons, kneejerk avoidance of first person POV fics is probably one of the driving factors behind the homogenization of the fanfic writing style. It's difficult to put into words to me, but especially if you read a lot of fanfic, at some point it's obvious that most of these stories are written in the exact same way, with the same sentence structure, cadence, and metaphors. The often-mocked italicized Oh, usually used in its own paragraph, usually used in a romantic context, is an example of this: a writing quirk turned universal enough specifically in fanfic to be singled out and ridiculed for its frequency.

This style isn't inherently bad, many authors pull it off very well, but it's certainly restricting. Essentially banning the usage of the first person POV alone is already severely limiting, but even just a slightly different usage of the third person POV is discouraged if everyone is writing the exact same way.

This leads to an overarching problem in fandom, namely that all characters tend to sound the same. The style of writing is the same whether writing about a jaded 40-year-old man or a peppy 12-year-old girl. A story set in 1940's France will have more or less the same writing as a story set in 2010's America. Writers do often try to add little details to their narration to distinguish different characters, and success with this varies, but is usually limited. Narration in fandom is rarely personalized to the character, and instead falls into the homogenized fandom style more than anything else.

I don't have a specific goal with this post. I'm not necessarily saying 'we need to STOP big fandom's writing style' or whatever, I don't think that's productive or feasible. I do think that we should all, as readers, be a little more open to stuff like first person POV fics or stranger prose experiments rather than skipping over or closing out of a fic as soon as we encounter them, and as authors (if you actually care about improving your writing) I'm encouraging you to take a look at the prose style used in your fanfic and see if you could diversify it because oftentimes readers do respond positively when they see it, so I guess if there's anything to take away from this post as a call to action, it's that. But mostly this is just me musing on something I've noticed in my own fanworks recently that irritates me.

#writing wise #my posts #i'm sorta trying to experiment with it but it's a little difficult and i'm struggling #i don't struggle with this in my original work is the thing. sure sometimes i'll use my Fanfic Writing Style(TM) but often i won't #it's much much less a default i just fall back on automatically the way it is in fanfic #probably because i feel like good writing is the point of original work in a way it isn't with fanfic #where the point is much more to watch blorbo do thing and therefore clarity of purpose is much more important than good prose

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epitomees · 1 month

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What's something you wish to improve?

What are your biggest (personal) Tumblr crushes?

Questions for the mun

What's something you wish to improve?

((Oh there's a lot I can still improve on both as a writer and as a mun too. I think one thing I want to work on more is reaching out to new followers, or even mutuals whom I've never interacted with since I followed them. Lately it's been difficult on my end due to IRL situations coming in the way, and in turn making me kind of isolate away from others since I want to take care of myself more. That in turn has affected me trying to start conversations with new people, or old people I've never talked to before.

It's all about managing my time to myself and when I want to chat with other people. I know, and I understand VERY WELL, how anxiety-inducing it is to strike up a chat with a new follower to try and plot something out. That's why I always tend to try and be the one who reaches out first, because well...I'm a big ole extrovert and I just want to make new friends whenever I can! So I want to adopt all the introverts here, be as friendly as I can, all while I'm still maintaining my own mental/emotional health and taking care of myself when I need it.))

What are your biggest (personal) Tumblr crushes?

((Oh PERSONAL you say...okay well, there are a few I can name off!

For starters, you are definitely one of them, Lea. When I first dipped my toes into Persona RPC, and well before I even made a Persona blog, you were one of the first blogs to follow me and interact with me over on the Vivi blog. I remember how excited I was when it happened because I saw so many other blogs mention your blog and how great it was and how cool the mun was so I felt ECSTATIC when you followed me! I had a really rad person following me and now I could throw my own muses at yours to see how well they meshed together. Lo and behold, you're just as much of a nerd as me and I love you so so much!

Then there's @darckcarnival! My meme husband, the meme father, the big green teddy bear, he is LITERALLY one of the best friends I have ever made by being in the Tumblr RPC. I was still a little newbie at Tumblr RPC when we first interacted with each other, and MAN I can remember way back when how nervous I was to start talking with him because he was another well-known blog in the community we were in. And then ONCE AGAIN, I come to find out he's just a sappy, lovey-dovey, mushy nerd who adores his friends and needs to be shaken around a little bit. It's been well over 10 years now since we've known each other, and I still feel so lucky I get to call him one of my closest friends.

Lastly, for now as I don't want to make this post long, there's @townofcadence!! Love, love, love, LOOOOOOOOVE TRISTAN!!! I love this mun so so much, and you have no idea how happy I was to find out he was still hanging around Tumblr and writing on a different blog. This is a mun I've known for a very long time too, back in the beginning of the very first MSA days. Tristan is an absolute sweetheart, with a kind personality and a very friendly demeanor. Not to mention, GOD HIS WRITING IS BOMBASS AWESOME!! I remember the times we stayed up REAL LATE at times because we were writing these REALLY intense threads, making the dashboard and other blogs scream at us, but it was SO WORTH the little sleep we got that day. He also inadvertently helped me develop and improve my own writing style, without me even realizing it. So GO GIVE HIM A LOT OF LOVE!! HE DESERVES ALL OF IT!!!))

#out of cards #mun stuff #fatexbound #((thank you for the questions Lea and GET DUNKED ON WITH MY LOVE AND GRATITUDE!!))

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thedevilinmybrain · 2 years

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sunday snippet

I was tagged by the lovely @louisandtheaquarian @kingonafiftymetreroad @cursethedaylight i’ve been working really, really hard to find a way to write and i’ve managed to rig up a bit of a system so here is my snippet from my oli fic:

“Oi, what the fuck Oliver?” Louis snarls, head ducked down, motioning behind him. “Giving yourself a free show then?”

“I wasn’t-“ Oli shakes his head, quick and sharp. Why didn’t he just go out the front door? “I didn’t-“

“Didn’t what? Get an eyeful?” Louis waits half a second, not even enough for Oli to breathe, and he’s already starting in again. “Mate, you better fucking start talking or I swear to fucking god-”

“I didn’t watch you fuck your boyfriend! For Christ’s sake. You think I’m some sort of freak?” Oli shouts back, doesn’t even know he had it in him to, really. Doesn’t remember ever yelling at Louis.

“Say that again, yeah?” Louis, of course, takes it the wrong way, voice going deep, dangerous. But Oli has been so angry for so long, once he’s started he can’t seem to stop.

“I’ve done everything for you!” Oli lets it rip out of the center of his chest, festering and furious and an inferno that threatens to suffocate his own lungs. But he pushes forward, lets it out. “I’ve always done everything for you!

You’re going to stand there and question my fucking loyalty to you? I’ve been beside you every fucking step of the way, Louis. From fucking Donny to across the fucking world. I’ve given you my blood and my sweat and my fucking whole life. I’m always the first to stand up for you. I defend you. All the shit that everyone back home always said and I was the one who was getting my knuckles bruised telling them off.”

“No body asked you to do that!” Louis shouts back, chest heaving. He’s covered in goosebumps, barefoot and mostly naked. There is still something sticky low on his stomach, the clear gel crusting a little in the wind.

“You didn’t have to! I love you!”

“Hey.” Harry is standing just inside, wrapped up in the sheets off the hotel bed, long curls hair mused like a queen having just woke up. Oli burns for a whole other reason.

“Oli-“ Louis rubs a hand down his jaw. He’s got the ghost of a beard going, looks so much more mature than he did at seventeen. He’s a man and he’s staring at Oli with wide, wild blue eyes. The same blue eyes that he’s had every year before, a whole life time of Oli knowing their color, their shape, the way they flicker when Louis is furious. Like now. A familiar glow that Oli never knew could be directed towards him.

“All you fucking care about is him now.” Oli’s voice cracks sharply, points his hand towards Harry who flinches, clutches the sheets tighter to himself. “Harry fucking Styles!”

“Watch your mouth.” Louis snarls, spit on his lips. He’s got his shoulders rolled back, fists clenched at his sides. It’s all falling apart now, all the lines that they swore they never would cross, but Oli can’t seem to grab the rope to pull himself out of the hole he’s dug himself into.

“Why? It’s the truth. It’s him and the others.” Oli heard the sliding glass door behind him. He knows Zayn, Niall, and Liam are outside. He knows they can hear. “Everything about you is gone since you went to that fucking audition. You left the house and you never came back! Is this who you are now? Some fucking superstar asshole? Got yourself a whole new identity, didn’t you, Lewis?”

“It’s late. We shouldn’t-“ Harry again tries to interject, steps outside, hand reaching for Louis’ arm but it seems to catch in Oli’s chest then. That he’s standing in a battle that he’s already lost. That it won’t matter. So there are no consequences when he turns his attention to Harry then, feels it all the way through him, jealousy so thick it slurs his words into a mess of a Yorkshire snarl.

“Fuck you, Harry!”

tagging and whomever else wants to share: @polaroidlouis @twopoppies @indiaalphawhiskey @lovingstheantidote @beelou @momrryrights

#oli fic #i'm tryinggg

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animews · 2 years

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“wolfwalkers (2020) is a beautiful piece of queer cinema that delicately reflects on the coming out of queer youth in this essay i will- except that i actually write the essay”

sorry in advance for the weird way this is structured i wrote it as a literature assignment to copy the writing style of virginia woolf. which. made the writing a little weird and overly formal so!!! just ignore that lmao

also to anyone who says “wolfwalkers isnt an anime why ru writing about it on an anime blog” HUSH. maybe it’s a cartoon to you, but it is like an anime to ME.

-o-

Wolfwalkers (2020) should, all things considered, be a typical coming-of-age story. But I think it’s not about coming-of-age, but instead coming out. A girl emerging from the closet, rather than from childhood. Wolfwalkers’ queer themes kept me up for a while, joining my late-night musings about stem cell ethics and the Lovecraftian horror of the Bee Movie. So here’s my thoughts. Make of them what you will.

First, let’s talk about werewolves. Werewolves are known to be general personification of “other”, so they’re a common metaphor for queerness. The separation of “wolf” and “man”, the monstrous coming to light and destroying the normal. They’re savage beasts that spend some time in human form, outcasts from society feared by the surrounding population. Whether they’re mindless and beastly or intelligent and misunderstood is up to interpretation, as Wolfwalker illustrates.

With that out of the way, let’s get started. Here’s our protagonist, Robyn Goodfellowe. Her father, Bill, has been summoned by the Lord Protector to hunt wolves. Said wolves are preventing the destruction of their forest home, which, as I am sure you agree, is truly baffling and without reason. For safety reasons, Robyn remains confined to her new home, as Bill informs her that it is “for her own good”. This will come up again later.

Of course, we would not have a story if Robyn stayed indoors, so we follow her as she sneaks into the woods. Her innocence is clearly shown here: she displays no signs of fear of death, confident that the world revolves around her. Therefore, the Robyn who accidentally shoots her precious bird is one at the beginning of her journey: a flower not yet bloomed, eyes closed to the harsh truths of the world. As she watches her bird fall from the sky, a mysterious, wild-looking girl scoops it up and runs off.

Here we take a break from Robyn’s dilemma to meet our antagonist, the religious leader of the town. It must be said that the title of Lord Protector fits him better than a simple name, unyielding and high-minded as he is. Here we see another staple of the queer narrative: religion. The Lord Protector is single-minded in his hatred of wolves: he wants them gone, and believes firmly that such action is God’s will. I don’t believe I must describe the long-held hatred of the Homosexuals by the Christian Church, but if that is something with which you are unfamiliar, feel free to visit your nearby conservative old-timey church and ask. Inherent in many religious folk is the “righteous anger”, the certainty that there is a holy mantel placed upon them to rid the world of the vermin gays, and this is certainly what the Lord Protector represents in this story.

The Lord Protector, angered at the presence of A Female, assigns Robyn to scullery duty, an appropriately womanly task. Robyn gets no support from her father, who believes it will do her good to act more like a woman should. If she conforms to the standards given to her, she won’t have any need to worry. Robyn, unswayed, escapes yet again into the forest to find her bird.

Robyn, not a particularly nimble individual, quickly gets herself caught in one of her own father’s traps after finding her bird (in the distance, a voice yells something about symbolism). Along comes a young wolf, and a scuffle ensues. After a stray bite on the arm, Robyn is set free from the trap, and follows the wolf into its secret cave, wherein it reveals its true form: the wild girl from before, named Mebh.

Mebh is a wolfwalker: she turns into a wolf when asleep. She quickly heals Robyn’s bite, and after a few mishaps, the two quickly make friends. Robyn’s preconceived notions of wolves go out the window: the wolves mean no harm. They’ve been planning to leave the forest to find safer lands, and are waiting for Mebh’s mother to return: she’s been asleep, her wolf-form missing.

There’s a particular scene here, in the middle of the movie, that really got to me. Robyn takes a brush and combs out Mebh’s hair, gently removing the forest debris; she then tucks a saved flower behind her ear. The vulnerability of letting someone touch your hair is not one to be taken lightly. Such a gesture is intimate, offered between close friends, family (or pack, rather). And to slip a flower behind one’s ear? What other indicator of blooming love might there be? This marks Robyn’s progression, as she begins the next step of her journey. As children, Mebh and Robyn believably reach this place in their relationship quickly, beginning their childhood friends to lovers (slowburn, 200k, last updated 2020) love story. They say goodbye, and Robyn runs off into the sunset, eager to tell her father her discoveries.

Predictably, Bill is furious at her breaking the rules, as well as disobeying the Lord Protector. He refuses to listen to Robyn’s pleas, dismissing her claims as “childish stories”. Such language is incredibly similar to those that a queer child’s parents would say under a situation where they are questioning their identity. They’re punished for breaking society’s rules, occasionally for fear of mistreatment by society, or because they disobey the religious conventions. Their exploration of their identity is dismissed as stories, false and made-up. Queer people don’t exist, and if they do, they’re evil and you’re not one of them, they say. You’re just tired, or hallucinating, they swear.

The next morning, Robyn goes to the scullery, as previously instructed. Bill yet again informs his daughter that this is for her own good, before leaving her to slave the day away. Exhausted and hearing mysterious voices, she escapes yet again to see Mebh in the forest (paralleling classic love story format), and ends up promising her to help find Moll, her mother.

You may observe yet another deviation from the typical girl’s coming-of-age path that Robyn has declined to follow: the absence of a male lead. Men instead appear as antagonists, through the Lord Protector, and to an extent, Bill. Thus, the movie further establishes itself as a less male-focused story, focusing instead on the girls (one might refer to the Korean word for girl: 어린애- female child: not a teenager but a child, innocent in their understanding and exploration of gender, as Robyn is here, on the cusp of discovery, still androgynous in the conduction of herself, unaware of who she is). As a fellow wolf (or is it Woolfe?) once mentioned, a problem in fiction is the absence of women and their inter-relationships: in this work, we are exposed to girls at their core, wild and genderless, before society attempts to corral them into their proper gender roles.

Robyn returns home to sleep and is shocked to awaken in wolf form. At this moment her father discovers her: a wolf perched atop the sleeping body of his daughter. Another aspect of queer adolescence emerges: fear of discovery. When one has watched their family openly condemn their kind, can they trust their promised unconditional love? If one’s family recognized them as “the enemy”, would they be accepted? Robyn wrestles with this as she stares her father in the eyes and runs into the streets for fear that he will kill her, runs haunted by the fear that he would raise his sword even if he knew it was her. With this, she finds Mebh in the forest and demands answers.

Mebh, confused, insists that she healed the transforming bite, but is distracted by the prospect of teaching Robyn the joys of wolfing (as children do), and so I shoulder the burden of explanation in her place. While the reason for Robyn’s wolfification could be the failure of Mebh to properly heal the bite, I would urge you to consider that Robyn, unconsciously recognizing the bond that she held with Mebh, created the wolf within her even after healing. Rather than getting “infected” by Mebh (as so many believe queer people do), the wolfwalker was within her all along, merely brought to the light.

While trying to sneak back through the gates, wolf-Robyn is discovered and a hunt ensues. To hide, she sneaks into a secret passage in the castle, and stumbles upon Mebh’s missing mother, Moll (alliteration abounds), trapped in a cage. Moll begs her to tell Mebh to flee the forest and stay safe, unknowingly paralleling Robyn’s father. Robyn, out of time, fails to free Moll, and rushes home to ‘wake up’ and turn back from wolf to human, refusing to sleep for the rest of the night.

After another day of grueling work in the scullery, Robyn has lost hope. Her safety hinges even more on her compliance, as her father has been demoted for failing to kill the wolves. Mebh, worried that Robyn hasn’t yet returned, sneaks into town to check on her. Appalled, Robyn begs her to return to the forest and leave without her mother, breaking her promise to help free Moll. Robyn, broken, has forced herself to grow into the role that the world assigned her, becoming exactly what her father and the Lord Protector wanted her to be. In this, she reflects the queer youth forced to stifle their identity to reflect their family’s and society’s expectations, simply to maintain a normal life.

Just then, the Lord Protector holds an announcement. He reveals a chained Moll, restraining her with the help of several soldiers. Seeing her, Mebh is enraged, and after an emotional scuffle with Robyn, who desperately tries to stop her, she jumps onstage. Moll bites Robyn’s father to stop him from catching Mebh, Mebh runs to gather her wolf pack, swearing revenge, and an enraged Lord Protector shouts for all troops to set the forest on fire and drive out the wolves (much like homophobic religious folk attempt to invade the safe spaces of queer people in an attempt to “eradicate” them). Robyn, stunned, can do nothing but watch her friend fight against her father.

Finally, Robyn chooses to side with the wolves (embracing her inner girlboss, etc.), standing against her father and freeing Moll. After a tearful reunion with Mebh and her now moll-ified pack (do you get it? do you????), tragedy strikes: Bill shoots Moll, who collapses. This is not dissimilar to the actions of many parents of queer children, who hurt people not only because of preconcieved notions of danger, but because they fear their children’s “corruption”. Robyn, heartbroken, shifts into wolf-form and runs off, in a twisted coming-out of sorts. Finally, Bill chooses to accept Robyn as both his daughter and a wolfwalker, at which point his own bite takes effect, helping him defeat the raging Lord Protector.

Moll is healed, the pack moves, and the story ends with Robyn and Mebh falling asleep, then running ahead in wolf form. The ending expresses Robyn’s final transformation and acceptance of her wolf-self not as an alter ego but merely as another part of herself, just as queer youth learn to accept their queerness as a intrinsic, unchangeable quality.

The movie isn’t groundbreaking in the way that most people crave queer films to be. The queerness isn’t explicit, and there could be arguments made for a “friendship movie”. But this movie isn’t about that, to me. For someone who has seen so few movies where queerness as an exploration isn’t punished, where the “bury your gays” trope isn’t implemented, where the main characters are children without themes of inherent corruption… I won’t lie, it made me cry.

It’s just. Isn’t it beautiful to see such a simple movie about love between girls? Isn’t it lovely to know that cinema is allowed to be like this? Wolfwalkers (2020) is many things, a stepping stone and a soft touch, a children’s movie and a mature film, a work of art and a labor of love. all that, and most of all, it is deeply, intrinsically, queer.

#wolfwalkers #movies #cartoons #queer love #animated movies #wolfwalkers meta #meta #long post #honeyspeak

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timid-plumber · 2 months

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Meet the Mun

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ(ꜱ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ?

I can't remember exactly, but I was looking for a new muse after retiring several old ones. I wanted a clean slate, a new group of folks to write with and talk to. It was one of those 'right place, right time' kinda things if I recall correctly. Things started slowly at first, but now I know lots of people here!

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ? Sure, lots of things. All of what I don't write involves adult content. But- I think a lot of that is to do with the characters I choose to write. They don't tend to go into those themes and ideas in their canon, so why would I, y'know?

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ?

I say that, and yet here I'm gonna say I love writing shippy stuff. But hear me out: that applies not just to romance. I apply it to friendships too. Getting to write small moments between two characters where something potentially life-changing can happen just because they talked (lookin' at you Johnny), getting to write little moments that are intimate and vulnerable and pure-hearted... perfection.

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ?

Canon is my go-to for this sort of thing always. From there I springboard. I also tend to go down the rabbit hole, researching things when an idea pops into my head. I do enough digging to, I hope, at least create suspense of disbelief if nothing else.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ?

Silence. I used to have music or videos playing but lately I prefer it quiet.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?

Unless I've specifically talked to a partner about plot points and what beats need to fall where and why they have to fall in those places, I'm 100% winging it every time. I've always been an inprov-style writer. To my great credit and also great detriment.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ?

Yes, but I'm rather odd about it by most peoples' standards. If a character's got a canon relationship, that's what I go with. I don't tend to break those molds, since it interests me to dig further into what's established.

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ/ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

ᴀɢᴇ?

Older than time itself, I'm afraid. At least, some days I feel that way.

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ?

It's sure a day on the calendar. At least- I think it is.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ(ꜱ)?

Pink

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ(ꜱ)?

Too many to list!

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

UHHHHHHH- Jeez. The only movie I can remember watching last was Mario. I mostly watch YouTube or old TV series.

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

Technically speaking, it was whatever police drama was on TV earlier this evening. It was on, I watched a little...

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ?

The last song I personally put on the radio for myself to listen to was this one. I apologize for NOTHING.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ?

Pizza~ Yes I am serious.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ?

Fall, because it's starting to kinda sorta cool off after being blazing hot all summer. And it's ~spooky season~.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ?

Gosh, I- Yeah. Lots of them. But one I've kept in contact with for so many years now doesn't even write here anymore! If you're seeing this, hi from dashboard! And keep sharing that FF spoiler drama with me.

tagged by @red-man-of-mustache tagging: You there. If you wanna do it. uwu

#{{ DJ speaks;; }}

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ccrissproductions · 5 months

Text

We Are Our Own Muse

Hi! I've been writing this fanfic based off of my maladaptive daydreams (thank you ADHD) combining my two favorite artist, Fall Out Boy and Kendrick Lamar, that includes a few OCs (based off of the life of myself and of the featured artists). Now problem is this is an adoption fic. I know-- I know, that is such a Wattpad-ten-years-ago thing to write. I know I'm sorry.

With that said, I'm like eight chapters in and I have no idea on whether or not I should post it. I figured post a few chapters here and see how it goes.

Chapter One: Destiny Child Enthusiasts

I would like to start off by saying that I am not a bad kid.

Troubled? Maybe.

Misunderstood? Most definitely.

But bad? Nah; never.

Okay?

Bad kids don't use semicolons.

I'm just trying.

Okay?

I'm trying.

Right now, I'm trying to figure out how you get a mosquito bite under an ankle monitor.

I don't even go outside for real.

I sat curled up on my bed with my headphones on.

Playlist been ended, they were just comfortable to wear. My solace, actually.

They were actually a birthday gift from my old P.O.

I just turned fourteen a week ago. Three days before that, I was in L.A.

Now, I'm in Chicago.

From one orphanage to the next.

At least this time I get the attic to myself.

I look at the sketch pad beside me and realize I've been spaced out for a while now.

I tried to scratch that mosquito bite again--- that shit itches.

I haven't been in the system for long. Five years ain't long.

And I'm not an orphan.

This no "orphan Annie" shit either; I know my parents.

My aunties.

My uncles.

My grandmothers.

All that.

Damn this bite itch.

There was a knock on the attic door before someone peaked their head in.

"Hey Stein," It was 3J.

3J was a muscular man, dark brown in tone with a five o'clock shadow. His dreads were twisted and styled back in a way that reminded me of ram horns.

I offered a small smile and an even smaller wave.

"You coming down for lunch?" He asked, resting his arms on the floor. I shook my head 'no.'

"Criss (did I mention my name wasn't Stein) you didn't come down for breakfast this morning."

I was not awake.

The best thing about being in the attic--- you miss the wake up call.

I offered him a blank stare instead of my actual thoughts.

He returned a stern look.

Reluctantly, I get off my bed and move towards the trap door.

"Thank you," 3J said as he climbed down the step ladder.

He brushed off the nonexistent dust off his polo and khakis and started walking down the hall.

I followed after him.

I watch everyone race towards the cafeteria.

I walked behind 3J as we headed to the same destination.

"You know your P.O. should be visiting soon?" 3J started. I smack my teeth.

Fuck that bitch.

She's not the one who gave me the headphones--- nah, I got moved off her roster and passed to this new joint.

This new one is the type who only has this job to make herself feel like a good Samaritan or some shit.

The type to brag about the 'work she does' and the 'dangers she faces' to her friends while seeing every person that looks like me on her roster as future criminals or low lives.

God, I hate that bitch.

"We'll be able to tell her that you haven't been into any trouble lately," 3J continued.

Right, cause why get into trouble when I'm already wearing an ankle bracelet?

And define 'we;' you can converse, I'm just there to be present.

"Maybe, she can help convince the judge to get that bracelet off," he spoke hopefully, but I knew better.

Shawty ain't doing that. You have to care to even attempt to do something that generous. She can give a shit less about me.

3J looked back at me and read the expression on my face and sighed.

"Just be nice."

As the saying goes, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Note how I'm silent all the time.

We made it to the cafeteria, and some kid shoved me as he ran inside.

I grab a tray and fall in line. Some girls get behind me.

"Ooh, rat bitch out her hole," the light-skinned one, looking like a Great Value Tessa Thompson spoke first.

"Bitch needs to get her hair done," the dark-skinned girl insulted next.

Her boyfriend was sucking her brother's dick last night--- but that's none of my business.

"She needs some new clothes," the brown-skinned girl spoke last.

Honestly, she would be fuckable if she just shut up.

Her voice is irritating.

And she needs a new lace wig.

I got my food. Immediately, I considered escaping back to my room. Unfortunately, 3J is blocking the entrance that led to the attic and the extrovert in him is not going to let me not be in a social environment.

So, I chose the emptiest table and sat on the emptiest side of that table.

Why in the fuck did these Destiny's Child enthusiasts sit across from me??

Someone please give me the answer, 'cause I want to know.

I poked at the food on my plate.

Lasagna day. I actually like lasagna day.

"Hi," 'Tessa' drawled out with a slight roll of her neck, Chicago accent thick in her voice.

I looked up at her.

I looked back down at my plate and took a bite out of my food.

Could use some salt.

"What? you don't know how to speak?" The brown skin one (her name was actually Tatiyana. Her name didn't actually fit her, but, oh well), spoke, she eyed me with expectation.

Of course, I know how to speak. I just don't have nothing to say to y'all bitches.

I took another bite out of my food.

The dark-skin girl grabbed my tray and threw it across the table. The plate made a loud clatter as it hit the floor.

I eyed the room.

All eyes on us.

"Well?"

Do you know how entitled you have to be to start a fight with someone who don't talk?

Doesn't 'entitled orphan' seem like such an oxymoron?

...Bitch probably can't even spell 'oxymoron.'

I rolled my eyes, sat back in my chair, and crossed my arms; respectively. Without saying a word, I was daring them to jump.

Offense painted their faces like graffiti.

The princess and her puppets stood up from the table-- a silent threat.

"Ay!" 3J called as he jogged over to us.

Fake ass Bianca Creed snarled. I watched her and her posse walk off.

3J stood a few feet from me with his hand on his hips.

I walked to him, and we started to leave the cafeteria.

"Stein, what did we just talk about?" 3J started to scold me.

I huffed and tucked my hands into my hoodie's pockets.

I didn't do anything.

"I saw the whole thing, Criss," He continued.

And you let them get that close to me? Damn, I thought we were cool.

He sighed deeply as we made it back to my hole in the ceiling.

"Just try, ok?"

Still, did not do anything, but whatever nigga.

I nodded and went back into the attic.

I laid back on my bed, earphones back on and still no music playing.

That mosquito bite pangs with irritation as I stare up at the ceiling.

My stomach growls.

I'm hungry.

#fall out boy #fanfiction #kendrick lamar #fanfic #adoption #fic #mania era #fob smfs #smfs era #might delete later #ao3 writer

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zot3-flopped · 8 months

Note

This interview with Mitch is awesome: www nylon com/entertainment/mitch-rowland-come-june-harry-styles-album-marriage

THE TALENT & TIMING OF MITCH ROWLAND

The LA songwriter — and Harry Styles’ guitarist — finds a lane of his own with Come June.

by KERENSA CADENAS

Over breakfast at a downtown Brooklyn cafe, Mitch Rowland muses about some of the kismet of his life. The 35-year-old musician, who might be best known for being Harry Styles’ trusted collaborator, has been thinking about it in the afterglow of releasing his first solo album, Come June, in early October.

As he picks at a fruit bowl and downs black coffee, it’s hard to not think about the timing of it all. “That's kind of scary how life comes down to these tiny little timings,” he says.

Timing and talent are two things that have greatly impacted Rowland’s life in spades. Even if you are a fair-weather Styles fan, it's guaranteed you’ve heard Rowland in some capacity.

Aside from playing guitar on Styles’ three albums and tour, Rowland has co-written on some of Styles' biggest hits including “Watermelon Sugar” and “Fine Line.”

Both were songs that were an exercise in patience for Rowland and Styles. “Some songs happen in a day, some happen in a year. Same for ‘Watermelon Sugar.’ We carried it around. By the end, it had all this lint and sh*t from living in our pockets.”

Despite all the accomplishments he’s now put under his belt, Rowland is an introspective dude from Ohio. He grew up outside Columbus in Dublin, Ohio. He vividly remembers when music changed his life, as he gesticulates with his hands, wedding ring on his left hand, about the experience.

“My dad's co-worker, who was his best friend when I was growing up, had just bought a house. He was living alone and he turned part of his downstairs into, it wasn't a man cave, it was just, man,” he laughs. “He had a vintage jukebox loaded with current hits. What I kept selecting was early Black Crowes songs. At the time they only had two records out. All this talking about where this and that came from. It's made me realize, oh, that's got a bigger effect on me than I thought.”

He taught himself drums first because his brother would “kick my ass if I was on the drums.”

Guitar came next. Rowland’s way of teaching himself may have been primitive, but clearly it was effective. “Maybe at the time I saw it as ‘I don't know if this is what I should be doing.’

His instincts paid off — Rowland later went to the University of Cincinnati for two years and that’s where he met mixer and engineer Ryan Nasci on their second day of college.

For Rowland, meeting Nasci on that day kicked off a series of whirlwind events in his life — and retelling it leads him to order more black coffee in his soft-spoken voice at the Brooklyn cafe.

“I was his first friend too, but if he had not been there in that moment, I’d probably still be scooping ice cream at Jeni’s [Splendid Ice Cream] in the North Market [in Columbus, Ohio].”

Nasci was the first to move to LA and Rowland, who initially wanted to go to Nashville — which he now acknowledges would have been a “huge mistake” — followed shortly after.

As fate would have it, Nasci was the one who got Rowland into that pivotal writing session with Styles when another guy couldn’t make it.

During our meal, Rowland jokes about being late to artists (Nick Drake is one of his main examples), which explains why he didn’t know a lot about Styles or One Direction or his general pop-culture magnitude when he walked into that session.

He approached it in the same way he would collaborate with anyone. “It was four or five guys drinking beer, recording,” Rowland recalls. “It was just hanging out. And I think he wasn't used to that. For him to sit back and have some fun doing it with people he didn't know was maybe something he hadn't done in a while.”

Since that day, their creative collaboration has obviously become incredibly fruitful. Styles has become a close friend, even if Rowland lightly broke some band rules when he and drummer Sarah Jones got together. “For doing such a no-no, he's kind of supported anything and everything.”

Ironically, Rowland says, they see each other more when they aren’t on tour (their latest, Love On Tour, wrapped in July). “Over the years, we'll go places. We'll go on vacation or when we used to live in London, he’d swing by all the time.”

One thing that’s clear when Rowland talks about their friendship and their work relationship is that Styles is loyal to a fault.

“I never would've imagined him putting out [Come June], but it's been the most natural thing,” he says. “To have a friend support me on the level that he does, he doesn't have to. It's not about money. He doesn't need that. He could have anyone in his band. It wouldn't make a difference in the big picture. Once again, he's amazing.”

(more at link)

#harry styles #mitch rowland #sarah jones

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millennialgrandma · 2 years

Text

July Wrap Up

Let's just all collectively agree to ignore the fact that my July post is coming to you live from the sunset of August, ok? I could have had this done weeks ago when I took some time off work, but I DIDN'T. It isn't like I read a lot, or even wrote a lot, in July. But life happens and idk, man. I'm in this weird little funk right now.

Things I Wrote

I spent most of July decidedly Not Writing™. Until the last week of the month, naturally, when I spent a couple hours each night putting together my entry for our second "Write This In Your Style" collection. The Bloody At Your Door collection went live on Aug 1, but I'm still counting it as July writing. Especially because it is anyone's guess whether I'll manage to write at all in August (the muse has been a fickle and elusive little bitch).

Anyways, my angsty little open-ended contribution is titled the nature of breaking (dramione, E, 5k). I'm begging you to check out the rest of the collection if you haven't already. I'm astoundingly lucky to call these writers my friends.

Things I Read

Get ready, because I'm about to blow. your. mind. THAT'S RIGHT, FOLKS! I READ A TRADITIONALLY PUBLISHED BOOK! And it is all @eggbagelsjr and @mightbewriting's fault. So what if the only book I read so far this year was a monsterfucking book? IT MADE ME HAPPY.

My fanfic track record for July is pretty abysmal. Outside of a multi-chap group read in the RoR discord server, I managed a handful of completed fics. I blazed through all of the available chapters for a deliciously depraved (new to me) WIP, and caught up on another. I have otherwise fallen behind on pretty much all of the WIPs I'm following.

Fiction:

Morning Glory Milking Farm by C.M. Nascosta (approx. 60k words)

Nonfiction:

Fanfiction:

Complete: (approx. 34.2k)

Best in Show by naughtybaguette (dramione, E, 6.6k)

The Nature of Seduction by @dreamsofdramione and @artofcrumbs (panville, E, 6k)

wanna lay my head where the cold wind blows by @one-equaltemper (dramionstoria, E, 7.8k)

Keep Swinging Your Bat My Way by @veelawings (dron, E, 1k)

Group Read: riddle me this by @megamegaturtle (dramione, GA, 8.1k)

Group Read: His Lucky Day by @monsterleadmehome (dramione, E, 5k)

WIPs: (approx. 217.9k)

Fervidity by @kittenshift-17 - Chapters 1 - 26 (dramione/sevmione/dramionbastan(?), E, 215.8k)

Where There's Smoke by @whimsymanaged - Chapter 4 (dramione, E, 2.1k)

Things I'm Currently Reading (Heading into August)

We continued our group read of @pacific-rimbaud's Love and Other Historical Accidents in July, flailing our way through Chapters 6-11. I'm still out here having the goddamn time of my life with this fic (the group finished it mid-August, but I missed the final chapter read and I'm still hanging on because I don't want it to end). I also hopped into another RoR group read for Chosen, by 5moreminutes. I only made it to the first read, so I'm just a couple of chapters in, but this fic is so wonderful and features Hannah Abbott as a side character and OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO PUT HER IN MY POCKET AND KEEP HER FOREVER.

And since we're already ignoring the lateness of this post, let's also ignore that last month I said my July goal was to cross two fics off my TBR list, hmm? I do not wish to be perceived.

#july wrap up #wrangling the words #books i've read #fics i've read #fics i'm reading #apparently i'm writing?

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howtodisassembleyourdeviant · 2 years

Note

(apologies if some have already sent you these numbers, feel free to skip them) 1, 3, 4, 9, 10 & 14?

QUESTIONS FOR MUNS.

(Sorry this is late! I fell asleep. No worries! It's been relatively quiet over here lately!)

1. how do you feel about reblog karma?

I try to practice it as often as possible, particularly with ask memes since some of the memes I reblog don't always line up with the current relationship status Connor has with the other mun's muse (either not knowing them very well or the meme is steered more towards romance) or if we already have a lot of threads going at once and the other mun seems overwhelmed or busy.

I prefer if a mun sends in asks if they reblog a meme from me, but I'm not going to belly-ache if they don't. It's not fun if they feel forced to send things in knowing they're not really interested.

3. whose writing has impacted your writing style the most? (you can choose anyone! famous writer or not.)

My roleplay partners. I wasn't a writer until I decided to write some fanfics for DBH, and I didn't become a roleplayer until I joined Tumblr to try and find an active fan community. I didn't even ship Connor and Gavin until @detective-phck, and now they're one of my favorite pairings.

4. which muse of yours is your all time favorite? if you stopped writing them: why?

Depends on how I feel. Generally, I love writing canon Connor, but if I'm feeling down, I like writing Human Connor more since he's something of a comfort character (though I tend to just make him suffer, the poor man).

9. when you look at a new blog, what is it that makes you press the follow button? is it the muse, the aesthetics, the writing–?

The muse usually attracts me, but I won't hit follow until I can read how they write, either through threads or through how they describe their muse (since some of the blogs I've followed in the past were new and didn't have threads). If I can mentally see who they're writing and what kind of personality they have, how they might interact with others and the world around them, I try to consider how my muse would play into it. If I think they would have an interesting dynamic, I tend to follow.

That being said, I don't always know how they would meet or how to start a conversation, which is a bitch. I suck at first interaction threads.

10. what genre do you most enjoy, whether in roleplay, or fiction as a whole? (fantasy, period, superhero, etc.)

Well, since I write about androids, I'd say Sci-Fi. I also like writing Horror during Halloween, though I still try to have some form of a happy ending simply because I've dealt with enough bad shit in real life. I don't much care for the period genre as I tend to over think it and spend more time researching than writing, which leads me to getting the answers to unpleasant questions (Like how often they bathe).

With some fantasy genres, I feel the same for the same reason since people like to put them in the middle ages. I do love fantasy if it's set in either the modern world or the future, as it's just easier to create than work with what's established as fact. I get that I can change it in fantasy, but it doesn't feel right to alter so much.

Not a fan of superheroes, both writing and watching.

14. which roleplay community has been your favorite to write in?

I think I've only written in the DBH community, and, for a while, there were almost enough bad apples to spoil the bunch, but I believe it has improved as of late. Either that, or I just have my blog catered to me. Or they've moved on. Too many variables that I don't care to keep up with. The people I follow now seem pretty cool, and I've made several friends, so I'd say it was a rather positive experience.

#Munday Meme #Even though it's now Tuesday #(Thank You!)

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ofmusingsxandmayhem · 2 years

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GET TO KNOW THE MUN!

BASICS

BIRTHDAY: 5th June

PRONOUNS: She / Her

NAME: Pluto

ZODIAC: Gemini

FAVORITES

Favorite Author: Not entirely sure I have one? Haven’t really thought about it. I loved reading Tolkein as a kid though.

Favorite Character from Literature: Following on from the last one, I always loved Eowyn - strong willed and doesn’t let people tell her what she can or can’t do

Favorite Music Genre: It depends on my mood, but I like most things (except the hardcore rock and screaming lol). But my go-to is any kind of instrumental/classical music (listening to some right now lmao)

Favorite Kind of Book: I quite like autobiographies. I like learning about people and hearing their stories.

Favorite Animal: Red panda

Favorite Disney Cartoon: The Lion King

Favorite Video Games: I’ve not played proper video games for a long time. But I do have a laugh on Among Us of late.

Favorite Color: Once again, I don’t have just one. But I love red, yellow or turquoise.

Favorite TV Shows: I’m super into Stranger Things of course. Really enjoying the various Disney+ shows too.

Favorite Mythology: Hmmmm not entirely sure. Haven’t done a lot of research into any but I do enjoy Norse.

Favorite Food: Pasta of any kind - or chocolate

Favorite Actor: I have so many I love and admire. But I guess I’ll go with my childhood icons and say Julie Andrews, Angela Lansbury and Dick Van Dyke.

Favorite Countries: I adore Austria, could keep going back over and over. Also love Singapore, and I’m eager to visit Dubai again. But I will always love my homes of England and Australia.

ROLEPLAY QUESTIONS

CANON OR OC: Either? If it comes to writing, I can’t choose because canon is fun to explore but OCs don’t come with the pre-existing stuff. Writing opposite, I love both.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN RPING: Since 2010, on tumblr since 2012.

WHO IS YOUR CURRENT FC: Well I have a lot for my muses, and I don’t actually use one for ooc stuff. I think I used to use Merida from Brave.

FAVORITE GENRE: Anything I’m in the mood for? I do love angst and pain, but I adore little fluffy domestic things too

SOFT MUSES OR EVIL MUSES: More soft but I love evil too

WHAT IS YOUR PERFERED WRITING STYLE?: Para and multipara. I can do shorter replies but the one-liners or quick things I’ve seen around just really isn’t for me personally.

HAVE YOU BEEN ON OTHER PLATFORMS?: I started out on a Supernatural forum (yes the show lol) and then moved here. I tried facebook and twitter a loooooong time ago but they never worked for me. I think I just prefer the set up of here. This is my only platform now.

WHO IS YOUR TOP MUSE AT THE MOMENT?: Generally probably Oscar or Isabella? But I have a bunch and it can change up at any given moment lol

NAME YOUR MUSES YOU HAD IN THE PAST: I’ve got quite a few retired ones, still have their info just in case I ever brought them back. OCs: Ana Durant (Sofia Boutella -SHIELD agent), Caleb Embry (Ben Whishaw - a translator and part time stripper), Judy Gooding (Miranda Otto - psychologist), Rose Milner (Amy Adams - werewolf and teacher), Tony Castilla (Alfonso Herrera - vampire and bartender), Gwen Price (Sigourney Weaver - CIA director), Lewis Martin (Chance Perdomo - lit student and mutant), Natalia Dias (Daniela Ruah - werewolf and detective), Vic Reynolds (Michael Caine - history professor), Will Ashford (a fc who now makes me very uncomfortable so we won’t mention him - journalist). Canons: Napoleon Solo (Henry Cavill - from The Man from UNCLE), Hilda Spellman (Lucy Davis - from The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina), Louise Banks (Amy Adams - from Arrival), Giselle (Amy Adams - from Enchanted).

(Stolen from @wingsandahalo - tagging anyone who would like to do it)

#about the mun

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friendofn · 2 months

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Negative Three

-3) Something is so tender, so moving about seeing the youth fade from the faces of old friends. Because you see it instantaneously. It happens as soon as you lay your eyes on them, every time you lay your eyes on them again. D told me, the last time I saw him, that I look younger than I used to. I said, that's not true. That doesn't make any sense. But I'll take the compliment. And I offer this interpretation: "You'll never see me as the age I am. The second you see me your brain will overcorrect and convince you that I look the way we did when we were 26. And my brain does the same for you. I'll see you for a split second as the renown and respected professor that you are at 41, but then my brain will search for all the things I used to know about your face. And then that's what I see. That's all I see. We'll always see each other as 26 year olds no matter how old we are." I'm not even sure I believe that, but I did in that moment. Something about the autumn air, hot when it shouldn't have been. Something about the proximity of Halloween, about the costumed young people crowding the sidewalks and spilling out from bars. This is the place were young people come to be young. This is the place that old people haunt to relive their youth.

We were wandering around lower Manhattan as dusk transitioned into night. We were deciding where to go. D said, "I know where to take you. I know what you like." Funny the things people remember about you that you don't remember about yourself. As D would have it, I like overpriced cocktail bars with hand cut Belgian pommes frites. It's true, there was a version of me that liked those things. Likes these things. I just haven't been in touch with her in a while. D texted me earlier that day that I should meet him outside a candle shop in Chinatown, and when I showed up he was wearing a tank top and court jester sweatpants. Maybe I see D as a 26 year old because he's regressing. Because when we were 26 he was living like a staid middle aged man, and now that we're over 40 he's doused himself in Gen Z style rizz. He had just been through a protracted and nasty break up. The second to last time I saw him before this one, he had suffered the first major blow to that dying relationship. She had refused his proposal. He asked me then, "Am I hard to date?" I paused. "Yeah, of course you are. So am I. Obviously. We're messed up people, D. Who on earth can actually handle our out of control levels of baggage? All of us, our mutual friends, the people we spent our late 20s with. Super hard to date." It wasn't the soothing response I should have issued. But he knew who he was asking. The broken me sees the broken you, D. Let's not kid around.

The night I saw him in Manhattan, almost a year after that brutally honest conversation, as we waded through throngs of NYU students dressed up for Halloween parties across the city, I kept flagging down different groups to yell the names of their characters at them. Lemme guess! Uma Therman in Pulp fiction? Kermit? Jasmin from Aladdin? I made D stop in a park and watch an open-air ballroom dance class. All the couples were East Asian and in their 70s, at least. I mused at D, "It's beautiful, isn't it?" He said he never even noticed the dancers before. I got more and more loose lipped as the night wore on. D and I talked about dead parents, about anger at God, about praying without faith, about teaching Marx to idiot 19 year olds, about the books we are writing, about the books we didn't write, about how we thought we'd both be married with kids by now. When we met we were both in life scenarios in which that seemed like the only possibility. It didn't play out that way.

In a romantic comedy, we would have locked eyes with each other over hand cut pommes frites, thunderstruck by the realization that the answer to all of our problems was right there, at the other side of the table. But what could be more loving than never entertaining that option? It's not the answer. It never was. And we are too much in our 40s to think otherwise. D tells me he had a whirlwind romance with a very famous and very married novelist during his latest trip to West Africa. She is sexy and sixty. She was coming to visit him next week. D seemed very disappointed that I did not recognize the name of this famous novelist. I told him I was thrilled for him, I told him I was so happy he had had that moment of joy and adventure. I told him those things while utterly convinced it was all a terrible and disastrous plan. The difference between now and 15 years ago is that I could hold both thoughts in my head equally and believe both to be true. It's stupid how judgmental you are when you have so much future ahead of you. The "no"s always beating out the "yes"s because you naively believe in your own wisdom, that your abundance of caution will pay off somehow. The tyranny of insecurity and inexperience masquerading as preternatural maturity. Understand that when I say "you" I just mean "me." The proverbial "you" at 26 was probably drunkenly hooking up and eating stoned pizza at 2 am while I was pretending to sleep and cursing my life.

Getting older is being liberated from hypotheticals and worst case scenarios. A lot of them have been played out. We know how some of the stories will end. Which allows me to say, as D details what was sordid and what was exhilarating about his recent affair: "Whatever makes you happy, D. Are you happy? That's all that matters." And I mean it. He says yes, I'm happy. And he means it, too. Getting older is believing him when he tells me he's happy while at the same time knowing that he is deeply miserable. Both can be true. That is hard-won knowledge.

Isn't it quite something to know your friends for so many years, to love them for the messes they were, to love them for all their attempts to clean up, to love them for the new messes they become. To see the lines on their face, the grays in their hair, to be able to conjure up the lineless, grayless version of them in your mind instantaneously. To see them sitting in front of you in every incarnation, eyes dancing while they relate their latest youthful folly. Elated because in truth it was not foolish. Nor was it youthful. It was defiant. It was a fist shaken at mortality. You can't catch me, D is shouting at death, clad in tank top and jester sweats. And I am cheering him on, clapping at the valiant assay. Because I know, as D does, that the mad dash to escape one's fate is a ruse. Death is not chasing us, D. It doesn't have to. We'll run out of breath soon enough. That's the beauty of it, isn't it? You get to give up at some point. You earn the privilege to.

And this is why, now that we're both old and young at once, I'll never have to say out loud to D, "I love you with all my heart, openly and forever. I don't want a single thing from you. I just want to know you exist, and that you've existed, and that is all. I just want to know that you know I exist. And that every so often, we will exist together on the same plane. The same wavelength. Every version of us that has ever existed. We'll all exist together. Until we don't." I don't say it, but I trust it is understood anyway. What a wonderful thing to know when it's time to end the night, to bid farewell to your old friend, to squeeze them extra hard because you're a little too tipsy and sentimental when you leave them. To imagine the next time you will see them. Face more etched, head more silver. Young as ever. Forever 26.

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softdynasty · 2 years

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Going over some old writing...

Ever go over some old writing and go “wow, my style has changed a LOT”? Good times, huh. Anyway, let me share a little story young me wrote.

Last Christmas, my world was flipped upside down, torn apart and thrown into disarray by stories that sound like the musings of a madman. I’ve been feeling down lately, over my lousy childhood and all. These events I experienced last Christmas really reminded me of everything. Picture the scene, I’m lying in bed at two o’clock in the morning, unable to sleep because the icy cold keeps nipping at me like bedbugs. It was an uncomfortable, dark night. The stars barely blinked in the sky. So, I’m lying here, and I hear this ‘tap-tap-tapping’ knock on my bedroom door. My parents were out, they were always out this time of year, working to put food on the table and make sure us kids had a cheery Christmas (they thought we were oblivious) – it couldn’t have been them. So, who then? I wondered, confused. I made my way out of the warm embrace of the catacombs of blankets, slowly, and crept to the door. When I opened the door, I was greeted by an unexpected sight. Laying there, mysteriously, was some fantasy world as if I just went through Narnia’s closet. A wintertime wonderland. This ‘wonderland’ was everything I’d dreamt of, everything I’d hoped for. I could see it all, feel it all, smell it all, and touch it all. There was this vast sea of icy mountains, and in between the cracks, strange and wonderful attractions. A giant Ferris wheel, a brightly decorated Christmas tree and shining star on top with red, gold and green tinsel dancing about the pine branches, and my mother and father. They were smiling, a face I’d never seen before this time of year.

“Come on, …, let’s go ride the Ferris wheel!” My mother whispered. I knew she said my name, but for some reason, the sound never reached my ears, as if I were missing. Her gaze seemingly passed through my body, like I never existed. Like I was a ghost.

“Okay” I whimpered, with little tears streaming down my face, freezing up by time they reached my cheek. All my life, I’d wanted to celebrate Christmas like a happy family. But part of me knew that this was all a hopeless charade.

You know, back at home, when I told my friends about all of this they called me “mad” and “insane.” Apparently, I slept the whole day, never leaving bed. Apparently, I had a high fever, and was as good as dead to the world that day. But a little part of me wants to believe in this dream, even if I know I’ll never get that perfect Christmas.

My parents were always too busy, working to provide for us kids, working to put food on the table and a roof over our heads. They were always absent. Even in this ‘perfect’ dream, they never really looked at me.

Back to the story, after my mother asked to go to the Ferris wheel, we trudged through the snowy pathways, silent and sombre to this attraction. It was just like every other Christmas now. My father was the first to break the silence, “How was school yesterday Charlie?”

“You know, the usual. Mrs. Harris was on my case again for refusing to participate in an art project. Something about me ‘not being a good sport’ or whatever. But you know, I hate art. What’s the point of painting a pretty flower when you can have the real thing instead?”

My father was silent. We walked again, for what felt like an eternity (but it was only half a minute), and my father started again, “You’ve got your father’s genes then, I was horrid at art when I was your age.”

“Yeah, at least I’ve got one thing in common with you.” I thought silently to myself.

We approached the Ferris wheel, and after waiting a long line in an antagonising silence, suddenly the ticket man announced, “The machine’s broken down the operator says, we’re closing down for the day.” I turned, shocked and upset, to look at my parents faces, but when I turned, they weren’t there. Nobody was there, not even the wintertime wonderland I opened up to. All I saw was the dark corners of my bedroom again.

And that’s how my imaginary Christmas which nobody remembers anymore went.

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roguesdepravity · 3 years

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Could I get the some BTAS rogues (harley and Ivy specifically but you can add more if you want ^_^) discovering their s/o is a vigilante on accident?

I'm going to try to do these in a more ficlet style. Hope that's alright! Also I am kind of twisting the accident part a bit, but I hope that's okay! Also me writing for Jonathan and Jervis cause they are my main muses? You know it!

Harley Quinn (Harleen Quinzel)

Harley turned a random alley on her way home. She knew that you were going to be out late with your work, and if this was going to be like any other night, somehow you would find the energy to make her dinner. However, this time she wanted to be the considerate one. Scrapping together the last bit of cash left in her purse, she had gone out to buy some takeout to treat you. As she turned the corner into a dark alley, she saw you. She called out to you not noticing that you were in the midst of changing into your hero costume. A look of horror crept onto her face like you've never seen before.

"You! You can't be one of those jerks! I thought we had something good going on..."

All she wanted was some normalcy. If this was a nicer part of town, someone would have run to see what was occurring as Harley started screaming at you. Every time you had crossed paths and hurt her or any of her friends came to her mind. Maybe you weren't any different than Joker. She might have sucker written across her forehead, but you opened her eyes that she didn't deserve to be treated so carelessly.

Poison Ivy (Pamela Isley)

It had been a long day for Pamela. Her once lush green plants were now ash, and her plot to take down more corporate giants polluting the Earth had failed. The only solace that she could take is that she managed to knock out [Hero Name]. Her heart shattered as she revealed your sleeping face. How could you, the only person in the world who she thought understood her, betray her like this?

"I knew you were different than my other conquests. I guess I just hadn't considered in what way."

Tears filled her eyes, and she swore that you'd never see them. You seemed to rouse, but she made sure to give you another does of the sleeping powder so you couldn't follow her. She didn't bother leaving you a note as she packed her things to leave Gotham behind. You made that city worth coming back to. There really wasn't anything left for her here anymore now that she knew that you too were in opposition of her.

Mad Hatter (Jervis Tetch)

Jervis couldn't help himself as he watched you squirming against your bindings. [Hero name] had finally been overwhelmed by enough of his mind controlled mobs for him to capture you. What an opportunity this was! Its not everyday he got expose someone's secret identity. As he hummed in triumph, he revealed your face.

"No please. Let this be a bad dream. Anyone but you."

Tears welled up in his eyes. You were supposed to be different! Time after time you proved that he wasn't just some sick unlovable man. You were supposed to be his happy ending! How dare you betray him like this! Wiping his eyes, anger replaced his despair. Everything in that room was smashed or ripped apart in retaliation. The fury in his heart ebbed when he turned his attention back to you. If this was a game to you it didn't matter, you would stay his. Even if your relationship had been a rouse and you only dared be with him to take him down, you couldn't leave him. He wouldn't let you. You were his now and forever.

Scarecrow (Jonathan Crane)

You had been Jonathan's greatest rival. Not Batman, not some bat brat, you. It was like you knew where he'd be, and if he thought about it long enough maybe he should have seen it coming. Only his beloved would have known the details of some of his plans in depth, but he truly cared about you. Why would he suspect the only person who bothered to listen to his point of view? Seeing you sneak away from a crowd and slip into your hero outfit while his goons rounded up the other peons made him realize that it was stupid of him to even consider that you cared. He jumped down to face you speaking your name like it was a curse before letting his feelings loose.

"I would think that this was a fear toxin induced nightmare if I had used any tonight. How long did you intend to play both sides? Was I a game to you? I wonder how much fun you had making me fall in love with you only to have the satisfaction of beating me into submission at night. And people call me deranged."

If you spoke, he did not hear your pleas as he doused you with as much fear toxin as he had on his person. If you wanted a villain you had one, but you would play with Dr. Crane no longer.

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cherrykindness · 3 years

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let's make babies |

pairing: Harry Styles x Actress!Reader

summary: you and harry are doing a live on instagram, you've drunk a lot of wine and now the world knows that the future Mrs. Styles is ready to make babies.

warnings: mostly cute, but the title tells you what you need to know 🤪

"What is your favorite song from the Fine Line album?" Y/N read aloud, twirling in her right hand the second glass of wine of the evening, the one already halfway through. "Adore You and Watermelon Sugar, of course."

Harry giggled, rolling his eyes upon hearing his fiancée's statement.

"Y/N will always choose Adore You because it was obviously written for her." He accused. "She wouldn't give that answer under different circumstances."

The comments climbed up the screen continuously, most fans gushing about how cute Harry Styles and YN/LN could be while the other part was concerned with wringing even more information out of the slightly inebriated couple who had decided to do a surprise live one early Sunday morning.

As expected after being away for some time to begin filming Don't Worry, Darling in Southern California, Harry enjoyed a lazy weekend in the house he shared with his fiancée and her pets. The days were filled with late naps and relentless Netflix marathons, sublime and ethereal evenings, marked mostly by unexpected declarations and rounds of sex that used to last until the beams of light were shyly coming through the linen curtains. They were not a monotonous couple, so this order could easily be changed.

"Watermelon Sugar is nothing more than about my love for watermelons, don't get too creative." Harry replied to a fan while sporting a corner smile, the message standing out among the rest for its dozens of emojis and large print, questioning the singer about erotic content behind the lyrics of his latest hit. "I really don't know what you guys are talking about."

Y/N laughed, shaking her head before leaning it against her fiancé's chest, propped up on the soft white pillows that were spread practically all over the bed. The air conditioner was on at a minimal temperature and a light rain whipped on the panes of glass camouflaged by the cream-colored curtain, that being the projection of Y/N's favorite nights.

"You can tell them, I'm not shy." She joked, nudging her fiancé's waist.

"You know what it was written about and who it was written for." Harry replied, raising one of his eyebrows. "That's what matters."

It went without saying that much of Harry's newest album, as well as some of his earlier work, had been done in exclusive dedication to his future wife. Y/N had been the muse for a vast repertoire of romantic songs, and even though the singer preferred to keep the story behind his more explicit compositions a "secret", the relationship the two had shared for more than three years was already solid and known enough for the media and fans to distinguish hidden messages in small details.

"It's a song about what usually comes before the act of making babies." Y/N laughed as he pointed at the display. "Honestly, you guys are impossible."

"No, we make babies every day." Harry joked, making a funny motion with his eyebrows. "I would spend my entire career writing just about that."

"Harry!" The actress exclaimed incredulously, slapping her fiancé weakly on the chest. "Children might be watching this."

"You don't want to have babies with me?" He asked falsely offended, accepting the cup that Y/N offered him. "Because I want some babies with you."

Y/N laughed, rolling her eyes as she watched the internet freak out at the dialogue that had suddenly emerged. Since the beginning of the quarantine, it was kind of inevitable that the couple of artists would not become the darlings of all social media; they were fervently active with photos, videos, and lives that depicted step by step daily life in isolation, gaining more and more followers and making the media more and more fascinated by the relationship they both shared.

The wedding was scheduled for the summer of next year and it was perhaps the most anticipated event in the tabloids. Bets about what the model of Y/N's dress would be and lists presuming who would be selected for the short list of guests stood out among countless news stories about the famous people influencing pop culture today.

The possible arrival of a Styles baby was an inevitable topic in interviews. Harry and Niall were the only members of the ex-boyband that had not become fathers yet, and because they had maintained a solid relationship and were seen as one of the most enviable couples during the last four years, Y/N and Harry had gotten used to all this openly asked questions. They didn't mind, they even had fun with the montages and all the anxiety that dominated the whole internet, often mentioning the fandoms' efforts to represent them as such "cool" parents in perfectly edited pictures.

"No, guys, I'm not pregnant." Y/N amusingly clarified the doubt of dozens of new comments. "Please don't believe so many controversial news stories that appear out there. I was on twitter last week and saw several people theorizing about a possible pregnancy, most of the arguments based on a website that used photos from the set of How to Get Away with Murder in the season where I was actually playing a pregnant woman as Laurel." She laughed. "It's so funny! I know you guys love to guess these things, but we won't hide something so special when it actually happen, I promise."

"Especially because Y/N can hide absolutely nothing from anyone." Harry accused, leaving his drink on the corner table before settling into a comfortable position for the two of them. "Anyone who's a Marvel fan knows that. That's one of her most characteristic quirks."

"They gave me a fake script for the last two movies." Y/N agreed, shaking his head. "For me and Tom."

"We agreed to keep the engagement a secret for a while. The plan was to travel to Holmes Chapel to break the news to my family in person, but guess who got a call at ten o'clock at night from an angry Anne because she learned of her son's engagement from an interview Y/N gave the next day?"

Y/N gave a guilty smile, winking gracefully at the camera. "It was all James' fault! I'm sure he already suspected something, those questions were very suspicious."

"Of course the questions were suspicious, babe. You literally said you had a secret that involved both of us but that you couldn't tell because it was important that our families knew first."

"I thought he would think about a pregnancy or something!" The actress defended herself, feeling very convincing in her intonation bordering on obviousness. "That's a mania I can't get rid of, it's in my genes."

"Did you all hear that? Further proof that you guys don't have to worry about guessing when Y/N's pregnancy will be, I'm sure our baby will make sure to tell you everything while still in the womb, mom's genes will make sure of that."

"You are so funny, Harry Styles." Y/N sarcastically stated, holding back a giggle as countless messages with laughing emojis were frantically up. "Yeah, I know I talk a lot and all, but you have annoying quirks too."

It was obvious that live would be news the next day. Although they were completely open about matters concerning their relationship, nothing seemed better than receiving so much exclusive information from a Harry and S/N drunk on expensive wine.

"You wake up in a bad mood and you're dangerously sexy, that should be illegal."

Harry laughed, holding his fiancée's waist a little tighter as he felt her tumble a little further to the side, getting closer and closer to the edge of the bed. Y/N was dangerously weak for drinks, and the singer knew that the actress' body was already near its limit.

"You're the only sexy person here, love." He declared with a corner smile, evidently finding the whole situation funny. "Do you want to go to sleep now?"

"No." Y/N shook her head. "Can we watch some movie? Can we watch Sweet Home?"

"Of course, love." He murmured, giving the woman a quick kiss on the forehead.

Even though Harry knew that his fiancée was unlikely to make it past the five-minute mark of the episode, he made sure to restart the korean series at exactly the scene where she had stopped, the first chapter still halfway through after Y/N realized that it would be impossible to watch such a macabre work without a drop of alcohol in her blood.

She had been so excited by the taste of Argentinian wine and the idea of updating her fans after a few weeks away, that she had forgotten the main purpose of the live. Harry and Y/N had been apart for a few days due to the new movie the Brit was shooting in North America, all happening in an unrestrictedly careful manner due to the restrictions caused by the pandemic.

He was slowly migrating towards acting and the future Mrs. Styles couldn't be prouder. Y/N had felt on cloud nine when Harry had given her the news of his upcoming job, but her only pronouncement on the subject had been a succinct post on instagram. Just a photo of the couple on a trip to Germany with a simple heart emoji didn't seem enough for the actress' exhibitionist soul, and coming to that conclusion was the main reason she decided to invite him, already relatively changed, for a live appearance. Y/N wanted to go on and on about how much she loved that man and work on that whole honeyed speech that would bring her (once again) the title of "cutest bride of all time," but of course Harry had to come home from his trip with his favorite red wine and poison her with those sweet caresses that took her out of orbit, turning the degree of alcohol content into the least of her problems.

"You're going to kiss Florence." Y/N exclaimed suddenly, as if only now realizing that her fiancé would share the screen with Florence Pugh, one of her closest friends in that industry. "Kiss on the mouth."

The MacBook was still open and hundreds of new comments were going up every second, but Harry didn't bother one bit to warn her about the possibility of her becoming a meme the next day. He was having too much fun with the situation to worry.

"Are you jealous?"

"Yes." She stated with a pout. "I am jealous, I just don't know if I'm more jealous of her or of you."

"But you kiss me every day, babe." Harry laughed. "And you've been kissing other people's men for almost ten years." He joked.

"But I only think about you, I already told you that."

Harry shook his head negatively at the camera, knowing he was sharing with the fans the funniest side of his fiancée.

"I know that, honey." He assured, lightly stroking the actress' back. "I think we'd better turn off the TV and go to sleep now, I'm sure you'll have a terrible headache tomorrow."

The brit planned to bid his audience goodbye and put an end to that recording, but Y/N was drunk and her sense of right and wrong had already gone to space. Harry should have been quicker, however, because his fiancée's speech would be cause for new tags and the only subject for the interviewers for at least the next few months.

"I don't want to sleep, how about we make babies?"

That's what Watermelon Sugar was all about, after all.

#harry styles imagine #imagine1d #imagine harry styles #harry x reader #harry styles x reader #fluffy imagine #harry fluff #actress reader

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