millennialgrandma

[millennialgrandma]

girl, help. the executive!! is!! dysfunctioning!!

#in case you were unsure about the vibes #i'm fighting for my life here

[millennialgrandma]

girl, help. the executive!! is!! dysfunctioning!!

#breaking my self-imposed internet ban because this is my internet diary #and i'm just a kid and life is a nightmare #and this is no fun no fun no fun no fun

[millennialgrandma]

Respectfully— actually, no, disrespectfully. what. in the FUCK. was that last bluey episode. this show was handmade by the devil himself to entertain children and make grown adults WEEP.

#great heaving sobs #this show is so goddamn rude to my feelings

[millennialgrandma]

I love getting a "hear me out" at random and watching them type for a long time. I am on the edge of my seat babe what have you cooked up this time

[millennialgrandma]

People Matching Artworks: An Unusual Photo Series By Stefan Draschan

People Matching Artworks: An Unusual Photo Series By Stefan Draschan More info: Website | Instagram…

#hold on a minute #i just need to. lie down. in the street.

[millennialgrandma]

[millennialgrandma]

#hokay. so. here's ze earth. chillin #dame that is a sweet earth you might say

[millennialgrandma]

mike newton watching edward and bella eat lunch together for the first time

[millennialgrandma]

a sword of sunlight. it thrusts through the window at an angle, and leaves a golden stain on the floor. when you first encounter it, at age twelve coming home from a half-day at school, it does not harm you; but fifteen years on, when a certain quality of the light recalls that moment as vividly as if you were living it again, oh, then—then it cuts deeply.

[millennialgrandma]

Little old Italian lady: Do you have zucchini?

Me: Yes, right here.

Lady: Is how much?

Me: $2.99 a pound.

Lady: It's usually $1.49.

Me: Yes, in the summer.

Lady, pauses, then grabs two: I put it in a soup.

Me: Oh nice, what kind are you making?

Lady: You will not fantasize about my soup.

And then she walked away. "You will not fantasize about my soup" will be in my head forever. I love you, little old Italian lady.

[millennialgrandma]

in case you needed to hear it today:

it’s okay to use your turn signal when you’re changing lanes

it’s okay to use your turn signal when you’re taking an exit

it’s okay to use your turn signal when you plan on turning (can even be done sooner than 2 seconds before you’re about to turn)

you have a turn signal. in your vehicle. two of them in fact.

you are so brave and beautiful and smart and can do it. using your turn signal

[millennialgrandma]

[millennialgrandma]

"why did you follow prev" because we're bound in blood for the next eight hundred years. next question

[millennialgrandma]

I am looking neither respectfully nor disrespectfully. I gaze without recognition of your form, and without understanding.

[millennialgrandma]

[millennialgrandma]

[millennialgrandma]