#just a whole movie of bruce being bullied by this small child he just adopted | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sleeping-lilies · 3 years

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robin era jason, dick, and babs headcanons because there’s too much comedic potential to ignore

- dick and babs were the ultimate gossip buddies. whenever dick was with the titans for long periods of time, babs always filled him in on everything

babs: dick you’ll never believe what hal said to bruce last night, i even have videos. dick, the look on his face please—

dick, immediately locking doors so his teammates don’t hear the mad shit about to be dropped on main: tell me everything

- vice versa too, dick filled babs in on everything going on with the titans and all they can say is thank god those lines are bat secured with no villains being able to listen in, imagine deathstroke hearing through bat gossip that joey’s dating who?!?! 😳

- batkids have been and always will be the holder of superhero gossip. it’s a business, you see, but we’re getting off topic 😡

- lmfao anyways this is literally how dick finds out about jason

babs: anyways, jason—

dick: who the fuck is jason

babs: ....

dick: barbara?!?!

babs: ok promise you won’t freak out

- babs and dick’s first reaction upon meeting jason being “why is he so small i wasnt that small” “dick you were literally nine when you were robin—“ “he’s tiny” it’s like those two share the same braincell

- i’m making it so that dick gave jason his number earlier because i feel like it 😡😡😡 (not that it changes much other than the fact that i want more gossip dropped in dm’s)

- when dick gave jason his number, he went to babs like “give me jason’s number” “didn’t you literally just give him your’s?” “ya but i’m gonna make sure he texts me” “ya ok that’s fair”

- whenever jason didn’t want to be in the manor (fight with bruce, boredom, etc) he went to wherever the fuck babs lived and they would facetime dick and talk mad shit. it was a thing.

- despite them all being able to drive, babs was the only one during this time with an actual, legitimate, legal license (jason was too young to have a license and dick is too lazy/busy/whatever-excuse-he-wants-to-use to take the permit and driving test) so babs drove them around everywhere and it was a mess™ consisting of a bunch of backseat drivers

- “dick omg look at this video i found from the batcave” “omg he said robin gives him magic” “robin gives him magic” they both cry about it for years to come

- babs sometimes kidnapped jason after school after telling the head of wayne manor (alfred) and took him to get ice cream, then to the library while she worked. jason was the greatest kid in the library, he even had his own throne special chair just for him whenever he came provided by library staff who adored this absolute angel.

- jason 🤝 babs 🤝 dick -> i believe in annoying yet endearing nicknames supremacy

- nicknames include (some used by some more than others or just one, or by both equally because they’re annoying pick and choose my good people)

little wing (iconic, we all know this one fellas and who uses it)

red (used for babs, absolutely fantastic, but in the future it gets confusing because some people with their goddamn hero names 😡)

boy wonder (classic, babs calls them both that)

barbie (for babs, jason uses this one and he’s the only one able to get away with it)

dickie (jason just really gets away with everything huh)

dickhead (jason’s lucky he’s cute)

baba black sheep (jeez i’m on a roll with babs’ nicknames she’s so nickname-able and that’s very cool and sexy of her)

jay z

jay allen

jay jay jay (shut up, dickhead—)

big bird

and a bunch more i’m too tired to look for them in canon or make new ones up, but you get the idea

- dick can totally bake, and babs and jason keep bugging him when he’s baking and add more chocolate chips while pretending to not notice that he can see them 😡😡😡

- headcanon that jason had hero worship for babs and dick because they’re so cool in and out of costume and it never really went away when he got older listen his older brother and pseudo sister are so cool and that’s not his fault but he’ll never admit it

- barbie movie marathons because barbie is an iconic legend and they all recognize it. they have the fucking “she’s the queen of the WA-A-A-AVES” song memorized along with all other barbie movie songs, they sing it on patrol.

- dick and jason’s sibling dynamic was and is basically “ur a little shit and i hate you but i will literally kill for you”

- dick had tension with bruce while jason was just a little shit who would totally cause drama for the sake of it, and people never take advantage of this absolute power duo for destroying bruce

- dick sending cryptid texts to jason through a burner phone because he’s dramatic jason totally knew it was him about things that drive bruce mad, like leaving the shower turned to the coldest setting before bruce got there, leaving the lights in the batcave on, etc. jason, a wise little child, totally took advantage of this. bruce came to accept his fate

- the gc names, guys the group chat names

- jason crashing into titans tower whenever he wants and dick doesn’t bat (hAH) an eye, occasionally he very sweetly asks babs to come with him and she agrees but only sometimes because some people have jobs, jason—wait dick is being flirted with by who?!?! i’ll leave it up to your imagination ;) and they totally crashed titans missions too

- one time bruce was busy with the league while alfred was on vacation and bruce absolutely could not dip (i’m imagining bruce getting a call from the headmaster during an honest to god fight and bruce just picking up while punching the daylights out of some asshole) (“mr wayne, what is that noise in the background?” “sorry, headmaster, the cat is having a seizure”), so when jason got into a “fight” (read: some jackass picking on jason before he snapped and yelled at him and the bitchass kid tried to punch him and jason’s no quitter) bruce called dick who was an adult and legally family (yes dick is adopted sometime after jason was, stay mad) like “son... son please” and dick was like “oh no need to plead with me, this is too good” but of course this bitchass doesn’t have an actual lisence yet and he was hanging out with babs anyways so he and babs rolled up to gotham academy and the kids stared at them like “holy shit they’re so cool” ya dick and babs are those power couple, whether romantic or not, that turn heads, they’re just that powerful strolled into the office, bailed jason out while intimidating the headmaster because the altercation was the result of school staff negligence of actual bullying like those cliche tropes, said “ayyy you got that brat good” and get him chili dogs or whatever the fandom made robin jason’s favorite food. omg i just made an entire fanfic in rough draft form someone please steal it and write it in full form and send me the link

- jason is very very tiny, you see. babs and dick pick him up and move him for any reason, whether because they want to sit on that chair or to just throw him out of harm’s way and take the bullet for themselves.

- jason and dick both get adorable blushes on their faces it’s genetic yes that’s how genetics work shut up meanwhile babs’ ears turn red when she’s embarrassed and all three of them clown each other for it

- i yelled about this to my mutual (cough cough @littlespaceboii) who also added to this absolute dogshit headcanon and then in the discord full of mutuals, but the basement of wayne manor is haunted. dick found it when he was a little gremlin (i stand by that dick was the original demon child) (“you see damian, before there was you there was me” the real reason he was good with damian lmfao) and was like “omg this is so cool” @littlespaceboii came up with that it was just alfred fucking with bruce and so when jason first came and dick was comfy around him he was like “so have you been in the basement” and jason was like “im literally robin i’ve been in the batcave?!?!” and dick goes “no the basement, the haunted one” and jason’s like “hAUNTED?!?!” cuz jason has at least some self preservations and knows not to fuck with the spookies until he too became a spooky and bruce was like “there’s no ghost it’s not haunted” because he’s a skeptic and a party pooper and babs is like “no go on let him finish” even though she knows full well there are no ghosts or does she? and uhhhh basically they becomes ghostbusters 2.0 but cooler and funnier

- this trio is basically baby pan/bisexual jason and two resident expert pan/bisexuals solidarity but that’s literally canon. they go to pride every year that jason’s alive what who said that?

- they all tease each other for their crushes like all siblings/family friends do, i don’t need to say it but it’s important that’s emphasized for my well being

- yelled about this in the discord to the mutuals who added onto this absolute train wreck too, but jason used to play baseball during his robin days, and dick never showed up to those games with being busy as an excuse, but babs always showed up with bruce and alfred and took pictures for dick so dick could be like “mlb players are jobless now that little wing is on the scene” babs (and sometimes bruce) always shouted loudest for jason whether he was in the field or in the dugout and jason would get this extremely adorable blush on his face (jason finds out in the future why dick never showed up (cough cough ptsd from two face’s massive baseball bat which led to everything that came after including being fired and veangance academy and nearly killing two face and omg that’s a ride) and is like oh my god my childhood is even more ruined—)

- remember when i said dick got adopted after jason did in this new absolutely fabulous canon i just created? bruce did that because “ahhh fuck that’s my kid and i want him to know i love him through every means possible since i have the ability to do so” i believe in good dad bruce supremacy and made a whole thing where he invited dick to dinner for like a week to work up the courage and bonding to ask him and show him the adoption papers and then everyone cried :) bruce decided to finally adopt dick after jason referred to dick as his brother and bruce was like “...oh” and alfred was like 👀

- dick, as the first child hero and one of the first heroes period like at least a year or two before babs, holds the “back in my day” card over literally everyone in the hero community in general and pulls it out to annoy babs and jason even tho babs literally joined the scene only a year or two after dick

jason, shaking in his panties: it’s so fucking cold

dick, standing strong in his tits out outfit, who had to wear the panties on his own decision: oh, you’re cold? back in my day—

babs, throwing her boot at his face: god shut the fuck up—

and then dick doesn’t give back her boot and it becomes a whole thing with lots of tackling and play fighting and someone nearly gets thrown off they rooftop for funsies but anyways

also on a side note, babs would take off her cape and wrap it around jason whenever she noticed his discomfort with the weather, or use the weather as an excuse whenever she saw him uneasy for whatever reason and they never mention it to each other

- yelled about this in the discord to the mutuals at some point too holy shit i have friends, but those three are team rocket. they went out as team rocket for halloween one year after bullying bruce to let jason out only jason because he can’t tell dick and babs what to do and jason is under his care and when they do convince him, dick and babs bully jason into being meowth. manifesting jason in a meowth onesie ARTISTS PLEASE—

- dick finally took his license seriously and took his driver’s test after babs became paralyzed.

- those were a rough few months for those three. and then another rough few months for those two

- yikes, sorry to throw angst at you (sorry (unfeeling)) anyways, in the future alfred finds those old photos and shows the rest of the fam, so dick and babs bully jason, 6’2 jason that towers way above both of them, and once again bullies him into being meowth “for tradition, little wing!” “shut up, dickhead” the rest of the batkids lose their shit over this, naturally. bruce and alfred stand in the back teary eyed reminiscing the old days when things were a little more simple.

- discowing walked so terrifying handsome squidward red hood helmet could run (even tho the ugly helmet tripped and fell and missed the mark because discowing wasn’t ugly and will always remain superior, i feel i have committed a terrible crime comparing the two)

dick: jason what the fuck is that

jason: it’s fashion

dick: it’s terrifying

jason: i’m only following in my older brother’s footsteps 😔

dick: listen here, you little shit strangles him haha just kidding that illegal wait theyre vigilantes they don’t follow the law—

- these three and cass refer to the rest of the batkids as “the kids” (if she’s older than jason, sometimes she is and sometimes she isn’t and i’m really confused but whatever)

- babs and dick’s relationship with jason pre death literally shaped how jason treats his siblings post pit madness like he literally goes “what would red and big bird do?!??” when he needs to go into big brother mode over the “little ones” (“little” because tim and steph are adults and duke is nearly an adult himself oh my god he’ll graduate from high school soon and jason never got to do that himself he’s totally going to the ceremony legally dead or not) 🥺

- holy trinity continue hanging out with each other, whether lunch or games or whatever, and just enjoy each other’s company after long, rough years

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science-lings · 4 years

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Hey I saw you were asking for prompts/AUs, so I thought I'd send one in! Could you write an Irondad Foster Kid Peter and Foster Parent Tony AU? Lots of hurt/comfort or fluff?

There were few things that motivated Tony more than the need to become better. Better than he was, better than he was treated, good enough to deserve the praise that he was given so freely. Normally he wouldn’t even consider becoming a father. He felt as though he was doomed to repeat his own father’s sins. His heart always sunk when someone told him how similar he was to his late father. There was no one he hated being compared to more. Well, that wasn’t quite true, he also hated being compared to Captain America when he was a kid. Still, Tony’s father wasn’t exactly his hero.

It started when he began to visit orphanages when he couldn’t sleep, restricting himself to rocking babies, and occasionally when he was left alone with them, he sang lullabies. He liked the feeling of helping someone, a very small someone who didn’t know who he was or that he was important. He liked it when they fell asleep in his arms.

That expanded to him telling stories to older kids on days that he had time. He found himself buying hundreds of picture books to read to them, starting out slightly awkward and flippant but turning more animated and dramatic as he discovered which voices made the kids laugh.

When he ran out of books to read and songs to sing, he created his own. Making up stories of heroes and bad guys, the kids loved those ones. Full of epic battles and cameos from the other avengers, when he wanted to switch it up he told the stories in different settings. He portrayed himself as a golden king with a dragon, fighting monsters with his knight friends for his kingdom, as a zombie killing ninja trying to find a cure for the zombie plague, and when requested, he was a Jedi knight fighting Darth Vader.

Sometimes the kids asked dumb questions about the story, and sometimes they’d ask very smart questions phrased only in the strange way that only a child can.

Over the years, Tony got closer to the kids, but one in particular really piqued his interest. The boy was one of the oldest there, almost fourteen. He was very quiet and almost crazy smart. Tony didn’t know how smart a junior high student was supposed to be but it was nowhere near this kid was. He loved science books and any high tech Tony brought near him. There were almost visible stars in his eyes when he got to see the Iron Man suit up close.

Tony never wanted to be a father but this nerdy kid, Peter, was really tugging at his heartstrings in a way that he had never really experienced. Not many kids could sit through his purposefully complicated explanation of the arc reactor but Peter did so with such enthusiasm that he couldn’t help but dig the old one out of storage to show it off.

He learned about Peter, that his parents died when he was six and he was taken in by his uncle and aunt, who also died a few years after. That he used to wear glasses but had grown out of them, that he had always wanted to be a hero like Iron Man. Tony made sure to mention to the kid that being a hero is not as great as it looks on TV and Peter just looked at him and whispered that he knew. Tony had a weird feeling when he said that. It was too understanding.

Pepper had suggested it, after hearing him talk about the kid for weeks and seeing him look pensive at the sight of alcohol and become more responsible instead of pretending to be a larger than life celebrity that the world saw him as. She could tell that he was ready.

It took a lot of paperwork and time but eventually Tony was able to become a foster parent for Peter. Tony wasn’t sure if it would be a good idea to go as far as to adopt the kid, he knew that there would be someone better for him out there that knew more about actual parenting but at least he was extremely well off and had the stability that would be very helpful for a genius child. The closest he had to a parenting guide was a mental list of Howard's behaviors and a promise to himself that he would do the exact opposite.

The adjustment period was weird, neither of them really knew how to act but after enough movie nights and long periods of time in Tony’s lab, they got used to their new normal. They just fit together like perfectly placed gears, they understood each other so well. Sure, Tony wasn’t the perfect dad-figure, but he tried so hard and cared so much. He did his best and he truly knew Peter like he was his own kid.

This was why he knew exactly when something was wrong. Peter came home bruised, he would try to start a conversation as if it were something important then chicken out after bringing it up. He would sneak into the lab when he knew Tony was busy and spend whole afternoons after school “with friends” even though Tony was fully aware that there was only one of those.

At first Tony thought that Peter was getting bullied. But the pieces didn’t quite fit, so he decided to confront Peter about it.

It was late, Peter had tried to hide a limp when he got to the penthouse like he had twisted his ankle and was treating it as gently as possible. Tony was waiting for him. Peter looked at him nervously before trying to shuffle to his room.

“You know kid, I’m trying to give you your privacy and all but I’m really starting to get worried about you.” Tony held out Twix bar like an olive branch. An offering of sorts.

“I’m fine... is this about P.E.? You know I’m trying to get my grade up...” Peter took the candy bar and sat down carefully next to his foster father, still trying to hide whatever was hurting him.

“No, no. I’m not worried about school for you, You’re probably as smart as I was at your age and you actually care about your education. No, I’m worried about you. I want to know what’s going on with you. Are you being bullied? Is someone hurting you? Did you try to kick a steel pillar? What?” Peter seemed to go a little pale and he was quiet for a minute. Tony just waited for any sort of reply.

“I uh...” Peter started after a long pause, “Can you promise that you won’t be mad.” Tony thought for a moment of his own father's outbursts of rage when he wasn’t perfect when he didn’t live up to Howard's astronomical expectations.

“I don’t think I could ever truly be mad at you Pete. You could probably kill someone and I trust you enough to realize that they deserved it somehow and take you to therapy or something. Being angry never really helps anyone, I mean aside from Bruce Banner, he has some benefits from being angry once in a while.” He saw Peter sigh in relief.

“I... I’ve been lying to you. I’m not who you think I am.” He said quietly.

“What, are you like a jock or something. Do you play basketball and want to audition for a musical? I think you would be pretty good in a musical.” This caused Peter to crack a little smile but normally he would laugh at a joke like that. Tony realized that this might actually be serious.

“No, I’m not Troy Bolton, I... something happened to me a while ago. I know it sounds crazy but I-got-superpowers-from a-radioactive-spider-and-I-kinda-became-a-small-time-vigilante-that-thwarts-like-bank-thieves-and-creepy-dudes-that-stalk-women.” He said the last part quickly like if he said it fast enough Tony wouldn’t completely process the information or not hear it completely. Tony did in fact hear all of the information.

“You know... that’s not what I thought you’d say but I’d be lying if I said that I was completely surprised by the fact that when you gained superpowers you immediately turned to helping people,” Tony said after a few seconds of processing what had been revealed. “I do think you need to reevaluate my standards for crazy because I work with spies and a Norse god and a guy that survived being frozen and patriotic for seventy years and that isn’t even it. Out of weirdness standards, spider super-kids are not even in the top five. I mean we had an alien invasion not too long ago this world is full of weird shit. Don’t tell Pepper that I said a bad word in front of you...”

“Yeah and I think I broke my leg.”

“WHAT!”

#Disclaimer: I have no idea how the foster system or orphanages work #or anything tbh #send me prompts!#ask gay #writing prompt #my writing #my drabble #joyful-soul-collector

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