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moorheadthanyoucanhandle · 1 year

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CAUGHT ‘22

2022 is unlikely, it seems to me, to go down in history as a banner year for popular movies. But even in less auspicious years, there are always some good flicks, and some good or even great scenes or performances in movies that aren't so great overall.

Out of what I saw, here are ten movies that stood out as best for me this past year:

Nope--Jordan Peele's latest is probably the best UFO movie since Close Encounters, though it has a more sinister edge. It's wildly original, funny and creepy sci-fi/horror, yet it also carries the heroic charge of a good western.

Good Night Oppy--This documentary about the Mars rovers Opportunity and Spirit has interesting information about the Red Planet, but it's really about the way the NASA nerds anthropomorphized the robots and fretted over them and cheered them on and ultimately grieved over them. In an entirely unpretentious way, the movie hints at the question of where sentience comes from.

The Duke--This pandemic-delayed release was, I thought, perhaps the most overlooked and delightful movie of the year. Jim Broadbent is splendid as Kempton Bunton, a cab driver, factory worker and anti-television fee protestor who in 1965 confessed to stealing Goya's Portrait of the Duke of Wellington from the National Gallery in London; Helen Mirren is his fed-up wife. The direction, by the late Roger Michell, is warm, graphically lively and period-rich.

Everything Everywhere All At Once--Family drama, immigrant saga, sly comedy, martial arts actioner, Matrix-style sci-fi adventure and more are mashed-up in this freaky yarn from writer-directors Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert that tries to live up to its title. It's epic, intimate, silly and profound. All at once.

Thirteen Lives--Dramatizing a technically complicated rescue mission in detail, Ron Howard is in his element in this moving account of the rescue of twelve Thai kids and their soccer coach from a flooded cave in 2018. A little tough if you're claustrophobic, but a true feel-good movie.

The Whale--Brendan Fraser gives a luminous, possibly generational performance as Charlie, a morbidly obese English teacher trying to reconnect with his furious estranged daughter. Directed by Darren Aronofsky, the movie is a little heavy and one-note aside from the star, but Fraser's radiance shines through the prosthetics.

Gabby Giffords Won't Back Down--Infuriating because of what Giffords lost when she was shot in 2011; inspirational because of how much she got back, and how courageously she refused to give in to despair. Directors Julie Cohen and Betsy West build the movie around how central music was to Giffords' recovery.

The Fabelmans--In Steven Spielberg's loosely autobiographical coming-of-age yarn, scripted by Tony Kushner, the focus is largely on the parents, beautifully played by Paul Dano and Michelle Williams. The movie isn't a grand slam, but it's fascinating, and it has the best final shot of the year.

Marcel the Shell With Shoes On--This feature expansion of the 2010 viral short by Dean Fleischer-Camp, with Jenny Slate voicing the tiny title character, is sunny and hilarious, but with improbably dramatic and poignant undertones. Isabella Rossellini is exquisite as the voice of Marcel's "Nan."

The Banshees of Inisherin--Martin McDonagh's black comedy about the agonies of friendship goes so sour in its later acts that I almost didn't put it on the list. But the brilliance of the initial conception and, especially, the magnificent acting of Brendan Gleeson, Colin Farrell, Barry Keoghan and Kerry Condon demand its inclusion.

One more list, while I'm at it; for anyone who might unfathomably be interested, here is the embarrassingly short list of books I read this year (as always, it doesn't include short stories, poems, comic books, essays, articles, reviews, automotive manuals, skywriting, menus, fortune cookie fortunes, etc etc)...

The Silent Gondoliers by William Nolan

Sucker's Portfolio by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Orphans of the Sky by Robert A. Heinlein

Saturday Night and Sunday Morning by Alan Sillitoe

The Moon is a Harsh Mistress by Robert A. Heinlein

The Spread by Barry Malzberg

Ben by Gilbert A. Ralston

Player Piano by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

The Investigation by Stanislaw Lem

The Werewolf Principle by Clifford D. Simak

Destry Rides Again by Max Brand

#good night oppy #jim broadbent #everything everywhere all at once #the whale #thirteen lives #gabby giffords #the fabelmans #the banshees of inisherin #marcel the shell with shoes on #kurt vonnegut #robert heinlein #max brand #nope film #jordan peele

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lurkingleighbee · 10 months

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maybe the boats had it coming

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victorfrankensteinapologist · 2 months

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"I am what you designed me to be. You cannot complain if you also feel the hurt." — Charles Dickens, Great Expectations.

1. "Another Like Him", Frankenstein: A New Musical 2. Frankenstein (1931), directed by James Whale 3. Frankenstein, by R.N Sandberg 4. Frankenstein (1973), directed by Glenn Jordan 5. Great Expectations, by Charles Dickens 6. Terror of Frankenstein (1977), directed by Calvin Floyd 7. Elektra, by Sophocles 8. Frankenstein (2004), directed by Kevin Connor 9. Adventure Time (2010-2018), Season 4, Episode 20 10. Frankenstein (1992), directed by David Wickes 11. "What Could Have Been", Sting

#frankenstein #victor frankenstein #frankenstein's creature #frankenstein's monster #mary shelley #shameless repost from my roleplay blog i fear-- old ass web weave but i still like it so ill post it here as well

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wholoveseggs · 3 months

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Indulgences

18+ ---- {Masterlist}

Part One

Elijah's red door is cracked open and his heart broken, so naturally Klaus takes him to a strip club to cheer him up.

~♡♡ This is part one of a series I've been writing inspired by a @klausysworld post about Elijah being in a pretty woman-esque scenario ♡♡~

3k words - Warnings: light smut, red door elijah {my interpretation of him}, drug use, adult themes, domestic abuse, violence, blood drinking.

{Part Two} {Part Three} {Part Four}{Moodboard->}

"Laadiieess! Two whales just walked in!" Stacy announced, her heels clicking on the marble floor as she rushed into the dressing room. You were applying a new layer of lipstick in the mirror when you caught her eyes in the reflection.

"Who are they? Any hot ones?" You asked, spinning around to face her. She smirked, her eyebrows arching up.

"Oh yeah, they are brothers; I overheard Mitch talking to them out there. They're filthy rich and super hot. I heard their last name, uh, Mikaelson. That sounds familiar, don't it?" Stacy replied, adjusting her breasts in the mirror.

"I've heard other clients talk about them; they are gangsters or something. Powerful ones, like mafia-type shit," Tonya chimed in from her relaxed position in a chair, looking at her phone, her long legs gracefully draped over the arm, stiletto heels pointed in the air.

"Ooh, really? Sounds intriguing." You hummed, glancing at yourself in the mirror again. You adjusted your strapless corset, smoothed out your black lace panties, and straightened your black thigh-high stockings secured by a garter belt. Your boyfriend Jordan had bought you the lingerie; he told you the outfit would make more clients want to buy lap dances from you.

"They booked the platinum suite for the whole night; that's ten grand right there," Stacy revealed with an excited gleam in her eyes.

"Damn, it's been months since we had clients who could afford that kind of luxury," Tonya replied, a smirk playing on her lips.

"They want a private show and a lot of drinks." Stacy added; you could tell she was excited. She loved big spenders, especially the ones who gave big tips.

"Alright, I'll take them; I could use the cash." You chimed in, smoothing down your hair and checking your makeup one more time.

"Just hold on a minute; this isn't some regular party. Mitch is coming by to pick, so sit tight, sweetie." Stacy warned, her eyes narrowing at you. You frowned, Stacy was always acting like the boss, even though she was just a dancer like you.

More girls came filing into the change room, the news of the two hot, rich clients spread rapidly through the club's grapevine. They were all whispering among themselves, gossiping about the clients.

"I heard that they run this town and can have anyone killed, like snap their fingers and a dead body would appear the next day," whispered a younger girl named Tiffany.

"You know that bigwig Marcel? He's like their right hand; he does anything they tell him to," replied another girl named Samantha, tall and blonde.

"So, are they, like, dangerous?" Tiffany asked.

"Of course not, don't worry, doll. If they are, I'll protect you,” Tonya cooed, wrapping an arm around Tiffany's shoulder.

"That's if Mitch picks you, which is unlikely; he wants the best of the best for them. You know, ones with discretion," Stacy said with a laugh as she reapplied her mascara.

"Fuck you, Stacy," Tonya snapped, rolling her eyes.

A few minutes later, Mitch arrived in the change room. He was the owner of the strip club, a sleazy man who always wore a suit and had a cigar hanging from his mouth. He eyed the girls up and down, a sick grin spreading on his face. He enjoyed the power he had over the girls, being able to choose which one got the private clients. He knew how badly they all needed the cash.

"Alright, ladies, I'm sure you all heard the good news. We have a couple of VIP clients here tonight. You know the drill, line up," Mitch said, gesturing to the lineup spot in the back of the dressing room.

You all stood in line, a mixture of nerves and excitement swirling inside you. Clients like this could net you a ton of cash, and a ton of cash meant your rent paid, groceries on your table, and perhaps even a bit left over for some pills. You felt yourself growing nervous as you watched Mitch eyeing the girls. You already owed Jordan a ton of money for some drugs; he had been threatening you recently, telling you he would kick you out of the apartment if you didn't get him the cash. You needed a client like this, and the sooner, the better.

You watched as Mitch walked up and down the line of girls, taking a sip from his glass of scotch every now and then. He looked over each girl, sizing them up, picking at someone's outfit, hair, or makeup, shaking his head or sighing before moving on to the next.

"Come on, Mitch, stop playing us like this," Stacy groaned, rolling her eyes. Mitch chuckled.

"Shut it, or I won't pick you, and they are big tippers," he threatened. Stacy scowled, her eyes narrowing, but she fell silent.

Finally, Mitch reached the end of the line and paused; his eyes landed on you. His smile widened, and his eyes lit up.

"Yes, you'll do just fine," he hummed. He reached out and patted your butt, causing you to flinch.

"Alright, Stacy, Tonya, and Y/N, go to the platinum room and take care of the boys. They have requested privacy, so no interruptions, got it? And I want them happy, you get me?" Mitch added, looking at you with lust-filled eyes.

"Of course," Stacy replied, smirking. Tonya smiled and nodded her head.

"Good, go out there and get them drunk," Mitch instructed.

As you and the other girls prepared to head to the platinum room, the door creaked open, and Jordan sauntered in with an air of confidence. He was wearing nice clothes and smelled like cologne. A wide grin spread across his face as his eyes scanned the room, taking in the half-naked girls. He whistled, making a few girls giggle.

"Look at my pretty girls, all dressed up and ready to dance for some filthy rich clients. I'm jealous." He chuckled, running a hand through his slicked-back hair.

"Oh, you're jealous, baby? Don't worry, I'll save some dances for you later," you cooed, walking up to him and wrapping your arms around his neck. He smiled and pressed a kiss to your lips, his hand on your ass.

"I brought something to help you girls relax," he said, holding up a small baggy of pills, you're drug of choice when you danced, molly.

"Ooh, thank you, babe," you said, kissing him again before taking a pill and dry swallowing it. The other girls came over and took a pill, giggling and thanking Jordan.

"You're the best, Jordy," Stacy purred, rubbing his arm and giving him a seductive smile.

"Anything for my favorite girls," he replied, winking at her.

"Alright, now get up there and earn me some money," he said, giving your butt a light smack.

You walked out of the change room and followed the girls down the hall, towards the platinum suite. The blaring music and vibrating bass filled the air, making your heart beat fast and palms sweaty. In the dim lights and smoke, you could see the writhing bodies of the other girls dancing on the stages and in the cages, and the cheering of the male audience as they waved dollar bills in the air.

"Alright, let's do this," Tonya hummed, reaching out and opening the door.

The room was dark, illuminated by blue and purple lights casting a soft glow. Leather couches lined the walls, a circular platform with a pole stood in the middle and a small bar was in the corner. A low beat played in the background. The two VIPs sat on the couch, their features partially obscured.

"Welcome, ladies," an accented voice hummed as the door shut behind you, and you could feel his eyes on you.

"Hi, boys, my name is Stacy, and this is Tonya, and Y/N," Stacy purred, stepping towards them. You watched her hips sway as she moved.

Despite sharing some features, they didn't look much like brothers. Both incredibly handsome, the one who spoke had curly blonde hair and a cocky smirk, while the other had darker hair with a brooding look on his face.

"Hello, gorgeous," The blonde one hummed, his voice smooth, there was something about them that seemed inherently dangerous.

"What can we get you boys? Drinks?" Tonya asked, taking a seat next to the blonde one as Stacy took to the stage.

The three of you had a simple but effective routine, with one dancing while the others entertained the clients. It was a tried and tested method, one you had used many times. Your job was less about seduction and more about understanding what the clients wanted. Some wanted a sexy show, others wanted to chat, and some wanted a more personal experience. You had learned how to read people, knowing which ones were the best tippers and which ones to stay away from.

"Bring me a bottle of your best scotch, and glasses for us, love," the blonde one said, his smirk widening.

"Absolutely, handsome. Anything for you, darling?" Tonya replied, looking at the brooding one.

"Whatever my brother is having will be fine, thank you," he replied, his tone polite.

Tonya's eyes darted from the blonde one to you, signaling that she wanted to approach the blonde one. Which was fine with you; the shy brooding ones were your specialty.

"I'll be right back," Tonya hummed as she stood up and walked over to the bar, where she grabbed a bottle and some glasses.

You moved to the brooding one, sitting down next to him. You could see the muscles under his suit and the sharpness of his jaw.

"And what's your name?" You purred, putting on your seductive persona.

"Elijah," he replied, his dark eyes roaming over you.

"Nice to meet you, Elijah, I'm Y/N," you said, offering him your hand. He took it and brought it up to his lips, gently kissing your knuckles.

"Lovely to meet you, Y/N," Elijah murmured, a small smile gracing his face.

You felt heat rise to your cheeks as you smiled back. Something about Elijah made you feel drawn to him, like a moth to a flame. You couldn't deny that he was incredibly handsome. As the song changed, you felt the familiar buzz of the drugs flowing through your veins, making your body tingle. You looked over at Tonya, who was giving the blonde one a lap dance. She made eye contact with you and winked, signaling for you to keep the conversation going.

"This would be more fun if you took off your suit jacket, hm?" You suggested, reaching out and playing with the buttons.

"I'll leave it on for now," he said softly, his eyes darkening as he watched you touch him.

"Don't mind him; my brother isn't the biggest fan of these types of places, and he's a bit broken-hearted," the blonde one said, chuckling as he looked over at Elijah.

"Klaus," Elijah hissed, his eyes narrowing. Klaus chuckled again.

"Who broke your heart, handsome?" You purred, scooting closer to him.

"His girl married someone else," Klaus chimed in before downing his scotch.

Elijah scowled, his jaw clenching, before he looked at you.

"I'd rather not talk about it," he muttered, his eyes darting away.

"That's okay; we don't have to talk at all," You hummed, moving onto his lap, straddling him. You could feel the bulge in his pants, and you smirked. He wasn't unaffected by you, no matter how cold he seemed. Elijah's breath hitched, and his eyes widened. He was tense under you, but he didn't try to move away.

You could hear Klaus chuckling in the background, clearly amused by the situation. He had his hands all over Tonya, whispering in her ear as she grinded on him.

You ran your hands down Elijah's chest, your fingers toying with the buttons on his shirt.

"What would you like to do, handsome? We can talk, or I can dance, or we could do other things," you hummed, your voice soft.

Elijah's gaze darkened, his eyes flickering down to your breasts before they darted back up to your face.

"You can dance," he murmured, his voice thick.

You smirked, knowing exactly how to work with the shy ones, to give them what they wanted without them having to admit it.

"Sure thing, handsome," you hummed, climbing off of him. You stepped onto the stage, and Stacy moved away, grabbing her drink from the side of the platform. She winked at you and gestured to the pole before taking a seat next to Klaus. Elijah's eyes were on you, the dim light reflecting in his dark irises. His jaw was clenched, and his hands were gripping the leather couch. You smirked as you wrapped your hand around the cool metal pole, feeling it under your palm. You felt the molly pulsing through your veins and you started to move, your body moving fluidly and sensually, your muscles tensing and flexing. You could feel Elijah's gaze on you, his eyes roaming over your body. You turned your head and made eye contact with him, giving him a coy smile.

"Do you like what you see?" You teased, biting your lower lip. Elijah's eyes flickered up to yours, his gaze intense.

"Yes, you are very beautiful," he replied, his voice low. Your heart fluttered, and you smiled. You usually didn't care what a client thought of you, but there was something about Elijah that made you want to please him. You continued to dance, the song changing, and the bass pounding in your ears. Klaus was enjoying his time with Tonya, who had removed her bra, her breasts inches from his face. Stacy was chatting with him, laughing and touching his arm. The three of you were experts at reading the room; Klaus was clearly the type who liked his girls all over him, while Elijah seemed like the type who liked to watch. So the three of you adjusted, keeping up with their preferences. You kept your attention focused on Elijah; his gaze was intense, his eyes tracking your every move.

You danced for the next hour, the men enjoying the show. Klaus was clearly drunk and was all over Stacy and Tonya, whispering in their ears and touching them. They were laughing and playing along, hundred-dollar bills tucked into their g-strings. Elijah removed his suit jacket, the room becoming too warm for him. Your eyes roamed his body, enjoying the way his shirt stretched over his muscles.

"I'm glad to see you are relaxing, brother," Klaus hummed, his smirk widening.

You stepped off the stage and walked towards Elijah, sitting back down in his lap. You unhooked your bra, tossing it to the side. His eyes darted down to your breasts, and you saw his jaw clench. You smirked, leaning forward and pressing yourself against his chest. He inhaled sharply, his hands moving to your waist. You took his hands and brought them up to your breasts, encouraging him to touch you.

"You can touch me, handsome. You have my permission," you whispered, a mischievous glint in your eye. Elijah's breath hitched, and his hands hesitantly caressed your breasts.

"They're soft," he breathed, his thumbs brushing over your nipples.

"I'm glad you like them," you murmured, smiling.

"Are you enjoying yourself, brother? Having a good time?" Klaus asked, his voice teasing. Stacy was slowly grinding on his lap, his hands gripping her ass.

"Mmhmm," Elijah hummed, his eyes not leaving your chest. You giggled, pressing a kiss to his neck. You could feel his pulse quickening under your lips.

"I'm glad," Klaus replied, his eyes meeting yours. There was a darkness in his gaze, something that made your heart skip a beat.

"I think he's enjoying himself, don't you?" Tonya purred, a smirk on her face as she watched the scene unfold.

"Oh, yes, I think he is," Stacy agreed.

"You should kiss me, Elijah," you hummed, cupping his cheek and leaning in. He hesitated, his eyes wide, his heart racing.

"Go on, brother. Kiss the girl," Klaus urged, his tone playful. Elijah's brow furrowed, but he didn't argue. He leaned in, his lips brushing against yours. His kiss was gentle, tentative, his hands cupping your face.

"You can kiss me harder; I won't break," you breathed, pressing your lips against his.

"You could," he replied, and something about his tone made you wonder what he meant. There was a deep sadness in his eyes, a loneliness that resonated with you.

He kissed you again, his hands sliding down your back, pulling you close, his hands exploring your body, touching your bare skin. He was a fantastic kisser, his lips moving against yours, his tongue invading your mouth. You've had hot clients before, ones that smell nice and feel good, but this was different. There was an energy between you and Elijah that made you ache for more.

You heard a strange sound coming from the direction of the others, and you pulled back, looking over. Your eyes widened, your heart stopping. Stacy was unconscious in Klaus' arms, his mouth was on her neck, his teeth sinking into her skin. Tonya was on the floor, blood trickling down her neck, staining the white marble floor.

Fear flooded your veins, and you began to scream, but Elijah covered your mouth with his hand, silencing you. You struggled against him, terror coursing through your body. He was strong, too strong, his arms wrapping around you, holding you still.

"Relax, sweetheart; you are safe with me. My brother is just a tad greedy," Elijah's voice was calm and soothing. His eyes were locked onto yours, and you felt your fear instantly dissolve. It left you feeling strange, like you were in some sort of trance. You couldn't move, couldn't speak; all you could do was stare into Elijah's deep brown eyes and feel the warmth radiating from his body.

"There, now, isn't that better?" Elijah's voice was hypnotic, lulling you into a peaceful state. You nodded, a small smile on your face.

"Good, that's good," he murmured, a pleased expression on his face. You could still see Stacy and Tonya in your peripheral vision, their bodies motionless, blood pooling on the floor. You knew you should scream, run, call security—anything. But all you could do was sit there, a serene look on your face, Elijah's voice echoing in your mind.

"Such a lovely creature, you are," Elijah's voice was smooth and hypnotic, his hands caressing your skin. His shyness was completely gone, replaced with a calm, confident demeanor. He took your hand, kissing your knuckles, a gesture that sent strange butterflies through your stomach.

"May I?" Elijah's voice was gentle as he brought his lips to your wrist. You didn't understand what he was asking, but you nodded anyway, the words trapped in your throat. Elijah smiled, a genuine smile, and his lips brushed against the sensitive skin of your wrist. He looked up at you, his dark eyes capturing yours, and his teeth pierced your flesh.

It wasn't painful; it felt like a gentle sting, and then a warm, pleasant sensation spread through your body. You were transfixed by his face, his eyes turned completely black, and gray veins appeared underneath his eyes. Elijah's lips were soft, and his tongue was warm as he licked the blood from your wrist, his fangs gently scraping your skin. It was strangely erotic; his movements were sensual, his lips sucking on your skin, drawing more blood from the wound. He pulled back, a drop of crimson liquid falling from his lips.

"Interesting," he murmured, his eyes turning back to normal. "What drugs have you done? I can taste it," he asked, licking his lips.

"Uh, a little ecstasy," you replied, your voice soft and dreamy. He chuckled, and his lips found their way to your neck. His tongue traced the artery, his teeth ghosting over your skin. You shivered, your hands finding their way to his hair, your fingers tangling in the dark strands.

"You're not a gangster, are you?" you breathed, the words tumbling from your lips.

"No, darling, I'm not," he chuckled, his breath warm against your neck.

"Are Tonya and Stacy dead?" you asked, your voice trembling.

"No, they will be fine, and they will be well compensated," Elijah replied, his voice soft and reassuring. "And so will you," he added, his hand gently tracing the lines of your face. You could see Klaus finishing up with Stacy, licking her wounds. He bit his own wrist and poured his blood into his glass, then into the mouths of both women. He smirked, satisfied with himself, and you watched as the bite marks on them healed.

"I don't understand," you said, confused.

"We aren't gangsters, darling; we are something far worse," Elijah said, his lips finding yours again. He kissed you, his lips gentle and warm, his hands caressing your body. He bit down on his own lip, drawing blood, his tongue sliding into your mouth. You tasted the metallic tang of his blood, and you found yourself moaning. He pulled away, his lips curled into a smirk, and his eyes dark.

"W-what are you?" you whispered, fear and desire mingling in your heart.

"It doesn't matter; you will forget all this soon enough," he said, his tone soothing.

"You certainly like that one," Klaus hummed, watching as Elijah gently kissed you again.

"I have an affinity for lost causes," Elijah replied, a soft smile on his face.

You found yourself back in the dressing room, looking down at multiple neat stacks of one-hundred-dollar bills. You couldn't remember when you received the money; all you could recall was Elijah's warm brown eyes.

Tonya and Stacy were sitting next to you, the two of them counting the money, giddy as they recounted the events.

"Twenty thousand each, can you believe it?" Stacy asked, her eyes wide.

"We didn't even have to sleep with them," Tonya added, grinning.

"Classy gentlemen they were, didn't try anything," Stacy continued, a dreamy look in her eye.

"Elijah was sweet, shy, but sweet," Tonya hummed.

"And Klaus was so charming," Stacy giggled.

"How much did you make?" Tonya asked, nudging you.

"I'm not sure; I was kind of out of it," you replied, shrugging.

"I'm tired too, I was having so much fun with them I totally lost track of time," Stacy said, yawning.

You looked down at the cash, your fingers grazing the crisp bills. You couldn't remember the last time you'd had this much money, and you could tell the other girls were struggling with the same thought.

"Just a few hours of pouring drinks and a lap dance, and now I can buy a new car," Stacy mused, a contented smile on her face.

"A new outfit, new shoes, fuck a new wardrobe!" Tonya chimed in, a gleam in her eyes.

You counted your money, thirty thousand dollars. You usually earned that much in six months, if you were lucky. You had no idea why the two men had given you so much money, and you didn't want to know.

{Part Two} {Part Three} {Part Four}{Moodboard->}

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sterekchub · 10 months

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Okay but what happens when he reaches 15,000 followers? 20,000? 50,000??

What happens if he actually reaches 100,000 followers?

Part 1: 🔥 Derek goes from a jock to a food challenge streamer

Part 2 Below:

15,000 Followers

You've never seen anyone who has eaten as much before- Derek's got to be in a hall of fame for gainers somewhere. "I-I'm sho full ...*schlop*... b-but'sh ...*slobber*... I ...*snarf*... can't'sh ...*gnash*... s-shtop eating. ...*slosh*..." Derek has gone from streaming 1 a day to a 24/7 live stream. Donations pour in for his meals and Derek is almost never not eating. It's terribly distracting, you're trying to go about your day knowing that meanwhile, Derek is shoveling pounds of food into his growing body. His followers pitched in to get him a scale that sends his weight straight to the chat - because past 400 Derek has had to bend further and further over to see the number on the scale. Today's number flashes in the corner of the screen: 515 The chat is all speculating how long Derek is going to continue this he's totally ruined I bet he'll quit at 600 He's appetite is going to make him eat until he pops Wonder if he misses his days as an athlete...

You type in your own thoughts: He's going for the gold- this pig is reaching half a ton.

20,000 Followers You've watched this video more often than you care to admit. In the middle of the "Order everything from the McDonalds menu" Derek’s bench finally breaks in the middle of the stream, just as everyone predicted, sending him crashing to the ground, in an undulating wave of fat rolls. Should we call someone? I don't think he'd fit in an ambulance! He's not too fat to get up, is he? Derek groans from his spot on the floor - but the munching sounds let you know he's clearly okay. He tells his phone "Siri, call coach." The phone rings and someone answers, too muffled to be picked up on the stream. "I uh....need some help. Think you and the team could drop by?" In about a half hour, the door is being forced in and four burly football players and their coach, clearly having just come from practice, come rushing in. They all enter Derek's room and stop and stare at the ground where he's currently beached. "Jesus, Hale! What the hell happened to you?" "You need help..." "he's like a thousand pounds, how are we gonna lift him??" "Are we sure he was our Captain? Looks like he ate them!" "On the count of three, boys. One..two..." On the count of three they all hoist Derek into into a standing position. He has to lean on the computer desk for support, giving the chat a perfect view of his triple chins and flabby moobs. "Maybe shed some weight before we're buttering you up to get through doorways, eh, Hale?" "Yes...Coach," Derek wheezes. "Think he looks hungry," another player says, playfully slapping Derek's rear. A second guy laughs and starts pushing his hand into Derek's middle, seeing how far his hand will push into the immense blubbery mass. "We should come back with food..." "Don't enable him," the coach barks. "Extra laps for the team so you all don't end up like this whale!" They all leave and Derek ends the chat - but not before they hear 1 of his teammates say "Love your stream, Captain...." You donate to his funds for a bigger capacity chair - it's the least you can do. 50,000 Followers When Derek restarts his stream a couple of days later, apologizing for the time off, his follower count has risen in his absence and his new weight is flashing 732lbs. Some of it you attribute to the higher quality stream. When the stream starts again, Derek is sitting on a couch, taking up easily 2/3rds of it, belly close to touching the ground as he sits with his legs spread apart- not that it matters with thighs like tree trunks that always end up touching. Now he has studio lights behind him, a long coffee table in front of him covered with food and there is a bar-cart in the corner of the screen filled with sodas and cartons of cream. "This is Jordan and Matt," Derek announces. "They were on my team before I - " "_ got too out of shape and hopelessly obese to play?" "...yes." "But he's still our captain, so anything to help." "Someone has to lug his fatass to bed and bring him food." "And our first job...." they pull out a funnel. Jordan holds it in Derek's mouth, pressing into his belly and highlighting just how ridiculously wide Derek is that his teammate practically sinks into his sea of lard and isn't even a quarter of Derek's size. Matt starts opening cartons of cream and pouring them in one by one as Derek eagerly guzzles it down. "Alright, for every $20 donated we'll pour another carton in this tank of a belly!" The donations to the chat flood in. jock to immobile in 2 years has to be a record what a goddamn blimp I hope these two feed him until he's begging for them to stop he's going to fill out that couch by the end of the year! You chip in $100. It's for a good cause.... 5 quarts of cream will round Derek out nicely....

100,000 Followers

You see Derek's name in a national newspaper and almost choke, thinking you're in very good dream or maybe someone has found your browser history and made an elaborate prank. “Man Set to Break 2 World Records”. His stream hits 100,000 followers and a few million views as everyone turns in to see Derek reach the title of World's Fattest Man at a whopping 1500lbs and his way to accomplish it: One week to eat a million calories. Derek is bedbound, the California King mattress completely hidden by his body, which has become nothing but a shapeless pile of fat rolls and blubber. Even his face is almost indistinguishable from the rest of him. Legs uselessly buried under his belly, only his toes peeking out. You can't remember the last stream you've seen Derek feed himself, not since he's passed 800lbs. There are cameras everywhere - giving the world a 360 view of the nearly 2 ton man, ready to push himself to a new level of gluttony. A team of football players surround him, forming an assembly line to keep the keg attached to his funnel full. You've seen the calorie breakdown of what's in those shake's they're feeding him, each one a staggering 10,000 calories. Derek keeps chugging, only taking the occasional breaks before grunting to his team and they shove the tube back in his mouth. "Last one!" Every one cheers. Derek doesn't even acknowledge it. You know he must feel reaching to burst, more achingly full than he's ever felt in his life - but with so much lard covering his stomach, he doesn't even look full. You wonder if he could handle even more. When the keg is empty, it gets tossed aside and the tube is taken out of Derek's mouth. "That's the record!" Someone shouts. "How do you feel?" It takes Derek several long seconds to answer. Brain stuck in gluttony, mindless and fat-filled making it too hard to form a thought. And it was increasingly hard for him to form words with his lips puckered and pushed together by softball-sized cheeks and his stack of chins. "H-Hungry. …burrRRPP… …PblttFFf…"

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lastoneout · 5 months

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I don't talk about it too much on here but I am actually a fan of horror but I'm really picky about it and tbh P.T. is like my horror game white whale I found out about it after it was gone and it KILLS me so when Kojima walked onto the Game Awards stage through THAT FUCKING DOOR and then pulled JORDAN FUCKING PEELE out with him I nearly died of joy. I cannot wait for this game. Maybe it won't be like P.T. but GOD they're gonna make one hell of a horror game I can tell >:D

#Me And Mine

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jordaneprestrot · 2 years

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Jordane Prestrot / ♒ 2022 / El Cotillo, Fuerteventura / _K011302

#jordane prestrot #fuerteventura #skeleton #whale #ocean

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puppetmaster13u · 7 months

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Flooded Earth DC Merfolk AU

So continuation of This Au right here

What is Everyone? Lemme make a list to ramble about later:

Bruce- Ray

Alfred- Remora

Kate- Angel Shark

Dick - Guppy

Cass- Cuttlefish

Jason- Thresher Shark

Tim- Bichir

Steph- Spanish Shawl Sea Slug

Duke- Anglerfish

Harper- Cichlid

Cullen- Rasbora

Damian- Stingray

Carrie- Dusky Batfish

Jarro- Starfish

Terry- Devilfish

Matt- Koi

Barbara- Jellyfish

Gordon- Squirrelfish

Ghostmaker- Moray Eel

Harvey- Tiger Shark

Selina- Catfish

Joker- Piranha

Harley- Clownfish

Poison Ivy- Leafy Seadragon

Riddler- Corydoras

Bane- Pufferfish

Mr. Freeze- Leopard Seal

Scarecrow- Anglerfish

Waylon- Saltwater Crocodile

Solomon Grundy- Coelacanth

Penguin- Longfin Icedevil

Ras Al Ghul- Sturgeon

Talia- Pike

Dusan- Pike

Deathstroke- Tiger Barb

Clark- Sea Lion

Connor- Fur Seal

Jon- Fur Seal

Kara- Sea Lion

Martha Kent- Ribbon Seal

Jonathan Kent- Manatee

Metallo- Sea Turtle

Brainiac- Pinecone Fish

Toyman- Parrot Fish

General Zod- Sea Lion

Lex Luthor- Cardinalfish (if a merfolk, still debating)

Barry Allen- Marlin

Wally- Swordfish

Bart- Marlin

Iris- Trout

Green Arrow- Goby

Arsenal- Arapaima

Artemis- Grouper

Black Canary- Orca

Reverse Flash- Marlin

Captain Cold- Beluga Whale

Heatwave- Guppy

Captain Boomerang- Discus Fish

Mirror Master- Mahi Mahi

Diana- Lionfish

Cassie- Lionfish

Cheetah- Spotted Snapper

Vandal Savage- Dunkleosteus

Marvel- Whale Shark

Billy- Wrasse

Mary- Wrasse

Freddy- Killifish

Eugene- Loach

Pedro- Danio

Darla- Goby

Black Adam- Gar Fish

Dr. Sivana- Dolphin

Mister Mind- Bristle Worm

Martian Manhunter- Octopus

M’gann- Octopus

Aquaman- Hammerhead Shark

Kaldur- Blue Tang

Plasticman- Oarfish

Booster Gold- Goldfish

Blue Beetle- Blue Shrimp

John Stewart- Sailfish

Hal Jordan- Neon Tetra

Red Tornado- Mantis Shrimp

Zatanna- Swordtail

Constantine- Fighting Fish

Doctor Fate- Wrasse

Deadman- Glass Fish

Klarion- Platy

Cyborg- Mola

Raven- Squid

Beast Boy- Triggerfish

Starfire- Koi Fish

Lobo- Wolf Fish

Deadshot- Ruby Barb

Killer Frost- White Koi

King Shark- Great White Shark

Doctor Light- Dolphin

Martha Wayne- Mako Shark

Thomas Wayne- Devil Ray

Lucious Fox- King Mackeral

Jack Drake- Freshwater Angelfish

Janet Drake- Comet Goldfish

Catman- Tigerfish

Angel Breaker- Redtail Black Shark

Trigon- Giant Squid

Now there's definitely more to be added, and if you have a favorite DC character I missed, lemme know and I'll make sure to add them.

Also I will definitely be rambling about all of these guys separately at some point lol.

#dcu #dc #batman au #justice league #rogues gallery #merfolk au #merfolk #merpeople #merman #mermaid #merperson #world building #dc au

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imsorryimlate · 1 year

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About to bring you very long and speculative meta about Moby Dick even though we are only 26 chapters into this thing and I have never read it before.

Back in chapter 13 when Ishmael said “from that hour I clove to Queequeg like a barnacle” I was like, huh. That’s a funny way to express it. Because clove – here being the more archaic past tense of cleave, that is, cling to – is often used in the Bible in relation to someone clinging to God, or at times clinging to a loved one.

I decided to check out the Hebrew word for it, which is דבק (dbq, dabaq) and it appears 54 times. I’m not gonna list all of them, but you can find the full collection here.

Now, let us look at this word. I will bold the English word that corresponds with dbq. I use the KJV translation because it consistently translates dbq as “cleave”, while newer translations will generally use cling, hold fast, stick, etc.

Here are some instances where it relates to love/marriage:

Genesis 2:24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

Genesis 34:3 “And his soul clave unto Dinah the daughter of Jacob, and he loved the damsel, and spake kindly unto the damsel.”

1 Kings 11:2b “Solomon clave unto these [his wives] in love.”

However, the word is not only used this way. It has more “everyday” use as well, for example:

Psalm 22:15a “My strength is dried up like a potsherd; and my tongue cleaveth to my jaws.”

Psalm 102:5b “My bones cleave to my skin.”

1 Sam 31:2a “And the Philistines followed hard upon Saul and upon his sons.” (literally “the Philistines cleaved to Saul and his sons”)

I think here, what these examples demonstrate, is that this word suggests a certain intensity. The Philistines were not simply following Saul and his sons, they were clinging to their heels. The Psalmist isn’t just skinny, his flesh clings to his bones without anything in between, you can see his skeleton through his skin, etc.

It is therefore also used to demonstrate deep loyalty:

Ruth 1:14 “And they lifted up their voice, and wept again: and Orpah kissed her mother in law; but Ruth clave unto her.”

2 Sam 20:2b “But the men of Judah clave unto their king, from Jordan even to Jerusalem.”

Which brings me to my original point, that it is used specifically about a worshipper’s commitment and loyalty to God:

Psalm 63:8a “My soul followeth hard after thee.” (literally “my soul cleaves to you”)

Deuteronomy 10:20 “Thou shalt fear the Lord thy God; him shalt thou serve, and to him shalt thou cleave, and swear by his name.”

Deuteronomy 13:4 “Ye shall walk after the Lord your God, and fear him, and keep his commandments, and obey his voice, and ye shall serve him, and cleave unto him.”

Joshua 22:5b “To love the Lord your God, and to walk in all his ways, and to keep his commandments, and to cleave unto him, and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul.”

Joshua 23:8 “But cleave unto the Lord your God, as ye have done unto this day.”

These are just a handful of examples, there are way more, especially in Deuteronomy. And I just feel like, with how Melville strews biblical references all around, it cannot be a coincidence. Or am I reading too much into it?

Then I started thinking about this post, where @animate-mush suggested that Queequeg is whale coded. Which would then not leave my brain.

Because see, the book very much presents whales similarly as the Bible speaks of them and other creatures of chaos, such as the leviathan (which, we do not know exactly what it is, despite the Hebrew word for whale being the same). Which is to say, primordial creatures, present since the creation of the universe, creatures of chaos that only God can control – sometimes with huge effort (depending on which theological strata we’re talking about but that’s not relevant right now). These forces of chaos are not the anti-thesis of God, per se, but they’re something on the outskirts of our world, something to fear, something to be grateful that God subdued, something that could very well be considered divine in itself (for example, the sea god Yam in Canaanite mythology).

Which leads me to my next point, which is that many theological strata in the Bible are not concerned with monotheism, but rather monolatry, that is, the acceptance of several gods existing, but only worshipping and being loyal to one. For a lot of culturally Christian people, myself included, the way God is approached is like, you either believe in God or you don’t. The constant reminders we find in the Bible to be loyal to the Lord might feel a bit like, you know, “yeah duh, if you believe in God obviously”, but it wasn’t that simple. God is the God of the Hebrew people in the Bible because they chose God, and they did it for a reason: the Exodus, that is, God saving the Hebrew people from slavery in Egypt, demonstrating God’s power and loyalty. So the loyalty is reciprocal – the people is loyal to God, and God is loyal to the people (help them, keep them safe). The need for God was not placed in the future, in the idea of Heaven and eternal life, but rather it was urgent and present right then; you would rely on your God for crops to grow and children to be born, you would rely on your God to keep you safe, to help you out of your enemies’ grasp. But if your God could not provide, there were other gods to turn to, who might help you instead.

The reason I bring that up is that, well. It’s interesting that Ishmael’s statement that he “clove to Queequeg” happened after they had already done their whole marriage thing. They had already decided to be ~husband and wife~ (no matter how tongue-in-cheek that designation is), they had already decided to share their earthly possessions, they had already made their “wherever you go, I go” promises. So him cleaving to Queequeg here is not in the marriage way, since that has already been established; he cleaves to him in a different manner now.

So what I have suggested here is that Queequeg is whale coded → whales are creatures of chaos and near-divinity → people cleaved to God in a reciprocal loyal and beneficial relationship, even in the presence of other deities → Ishmael watches Queequeg save a man from the depths of the chaotic sea → Ishmael decides to cleave to Queequeg.

Now, I would definitely not go as far as suggesting that Queequeg is God or “God-coded” or whatever, or that Ishmael would worship him as such. But there is something here, isn’t it? In this scene, Ishmael cleaves to Queequeg not as a companion, but as a protector and as a force to be reckoned with.

#whale weekly #moby dick #meta #also i know the inclusion of genesis 34:3 is controversial but it is literally just for the sake of linguistics #my meta

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