"Emma, I'm sorry, you lost... Emma, I'm sorry you lost your way" are still the rawest opening lines to a finale in all of musical theatre, change my mind.
The gut punch of Paul singing right after the fake-out that he survived. The realization that it was all for nothing and the entire world, including Emma, is doomed at his hands. THE WAY THE MEANING OF WHAT HE'S SAYING COMPLETELY CHANGES WHEN HE FINISHES THE THOUGHT.
I know Paul's been Apotheosised for quite a while by that time, but it almost feels like the first few words are what remains of the actual Paul communicating his final thoughts to Emma, his sorrow that he failed her. And then he's gone for as good Apotheosis Paul takes the reigns and sets out, ever so inevitably, to get what he wants and save Emma Perkins.
Shoutout to Twisted for having the lines “science says you’re dead and gone forever reason says I’m talking to the air but something in my heart some secret hidden part illogically insist that you are there somewhere” and “he fucked a tiger” be in the same musical
after careful consideration, here is my official npmd song ranking + commentary
(VERY subject to change bc i actually love them all and i am so indecisive)
1. Nerdy Prudes Must Die
title song at first woah !! will branner and jon mattesons vocals are literally insane is this song. "IIIIIIM NOT A LOSER" forever engraved into my brain.
2. Hatchet Town
SUCH A BANGER. everything about this song is the perfect group number. it just flows soooo well and the harmony is so crisp. the bridge bit is not my fav but all the vocals and everything is just so good. also im a sucker for "all the characters are blaming eachother" songs 😵😵
3. Cool as I Think I Am (Reprise)
they are so sad and in love i love them sm. the harmony is so scrumptious and their voices blend so well. also i just love reprises. "You're not as cool as you think you are" "But you're as smart as I know you are" SHUT UP THEY ARE SO SPECIAL TO ME
4. Literal Monster
Apex Predator but better.
(no but fr didn't expect my ranking for this to be so high but it's just so good. highlights all the nerd characters and such a good chorus. the end section with max's "You wont defeat my kiiiiiind, A predator of my siiiiiize" + "You can watch as I riiiiiiise, I WILL CLAIM WHAT IS MINE" i think is what pushed this up so far those lines are just SO good)
5. The Summoning
mmmm everything about this song just sounds so yummy. the actual summoning bit in the beginning is actually so good with the singing over the chanting and whispering. all the lords in black literally ATE with this song and the like background ensemble vocals add so much. i think the only reason this wasn't higher than literal monster is that for some reason i literally CANT when a song has large chunks of dialogue in the middle of it. pokey being called a nasty boy stops me in my tracks every time i listen 💀. but the overall song absolutely makes up for the dialogue for me !!
6. Dirty Dudes Must Die
all the pervs literally running: 🏃🏃🏃
i mean i said i loved a reprise (kinda) ! angela girratana is just so good guys i love her sm. her voice is just so specific and it works SO well for this song. not only that but the last 30 secs of this song is just SO good. the ensemble bit with the "if i can finally be cool i will know that i'm not a loser" under grace’s "who will pray for you-" AND THEN RIGHT AFTER THAT COMING IN WITH THE "Darkness will spare my soulllll." i actually audibly gasped when watching this for the first time.
7. Cool as I Think I Am
everything about this song is just so endearing. joey richter just embodied this role so well. the little "Oh-woah-oh-woah-oh oh" love it sm. again another one of the bangers with the last little bit of soloist singing over the ensemble line, so good.
8. Bully the Bully
HEAR ME THE FUCK OUT OKAY. I LOVE THIS SONG. LIKE I LOVE IT. ITS SO CATCHY. ITS SILLY. THE HARMONIES ARE SO GOOD. I LOVE THE FIVE OF THEM SO MUCH. BUT. i physically cringe any time the "cool beans" bit happens. "bean school? excellent!" i cant. please. 😭😭
no but overall it's so catchy and without that little bit i think it would've been up at like 5 or 6. everyone has their little part and it's such a good song. also kinda a jumpscare when they talk about cutting off his nips and him shitting his pants but yk whatever
9. High School Is Killing Me
THIS IS HOW YOU DO A OPENING NUMBER. hopping right in with the "IM DEEEEEAD" its just so good. everyones voices just blend so well in this song and the chorus is SO PERFECT. again, the whole dialogue thing is not it for me. plus the whole problematic puppy twitter feed bit was not my fav. i think if it was just the first minute and a half of this song it would've been higher than cool as i think i am.
10. Dirty Girl
ok. where tf do i start. the vocals for this song are INCREDIBLE and angela and will's voices both have this like powerful belt with a little grit that complement each other SO well. and omg the "I'm-a, I'm-a, I'm a good girl" its just so perfect. BUT. listening this song is just like so uncomfortable 💀💀. after i hear "daddy needs a little of that dirty soup" i cannot move throughout my day normally please stop.
11. Just for Once
i actually feel so bad for putting this song so low because lauren lopez's vocals are SO incredible. its just not as catchy as the top ten and ruth's voice is a little too nasaly for me. this song would actually be a really good audition song methinks
12. Bury the Bully
ik some people really love this song and ik i just said i love the reprises (and upon first listen this song was like top 6.) but ! idk after obsessively relistening its just not up there for me. theres nothing bad about the song but in the words of pete "This is a lot." also when grace says "GIVE THOSE TO ME" at the very end of the song WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE REFERRING TO???
13. If I Loved You
I love this song it's so good it just doesn't compare to the reprise. mariah rose faith casillas actually ate up these vocals though.
14. The Best of You
giving disney channel original movies less popular-popular song (please tell me you understand what this means.) the band was really popping off with this one though.
15. Go Go Nighthawks!
chorus is good but overall not my fav, curt’s solo is sooooo good.
anyways i love npmd so much and please perceive my opinions tumblr !
How do people write such incredible, amazing, heartbreaking, mind-blowing songs that make you cry and laugh and dance and get severely emotionally invested in characters that show up randomly with no proper introduction?
How? I want some of that magic please, even the most sparing sprinkling of dust will do.
first official hatchetfield stats update!!!! please point out any basic spelling or addition mistakes you spot! i am only human :]
as a basic principle, no matter how highly i speak of robert manion in context of this project, i do not support or condone his actions.
the guy who didnt like musicals - the guy who didnt like musicals - scene 1/20
overall:
1617 words, 7/8 actors, 25 total swear words, 63 total character names said
by actor:
robert manion as prof. henry hidgens- 312 words, 5 swears, 18 character names said. 16.5% of words spoken in number.
lauren lopez as emma perkins- 293 words, 4 swears, 4 character names said. 15.4% of words spoken in number.
jaime lyn beatty as charlotte sweetly- 283 words, 3 swears, 3 character names said. 15% of words spoken in number.
mariah rose faith casillas as melissa- 281 words, 3 swears, 4 character names said. 14.9% of words spoken in number.
corey dorris as bill woodward- 275 words, 4 swears, 16 character names said. 14.5% of words spoken in number.
joey richter as ted spankoffski- 272 words, 3 swears, 15 character names said. 14.4% of words spoken in number.
jeff blim as mr. davidson- 176 words, 7 swears, 3 character names said. 9.3% of words spoken in number.
jon matteson- no words, does not appear in number.
- the winner of this scene based on number of words said is: robert manion! robert also won the most character names said, and jeff blim took top spot for most swear words!