#ive fucked up so many times while drunk i should have never taken anyones word for ot that i could get better after the first one

[sadisticmystical]

.

#i made a very big mistake #very very big #while being a drunken idiot #ive fucked up so many times while drunk i should have never taken anyones word for ot that i could get better after the first one #i knew ot then i know it now im a giant worthless piece of shit and i fucked up so bad #and im so grateful it wasnt worse #every single person there should literally never talj to me again i would understand i deserve it #ill never drink again ill never do any of this over again i promise please can i still be saved #i know i cant and im so sorry i thought i could im so stipid and so selfish for ever thinking i could just be around other people with no #consequences i knew i was fucked i knew it but i thought i could get better if i tried and tried and tried my hardest #i know now i know now please i cant be in this state of pretending everything is fine i know i ruined it please just #just tell me what would be enough to fix it #twll if nothing is enough to fix it #i can never drink again i can never speak to you again i can pay for it all i can hurt myself so bad ill never forget it ill do whatever #it is you ask just please ask and stop pretending its okay its not okay im so sorry i cant do this

[snesdudes]

FIST FIGHTING WITH FIRE

chapter III

Pairing: Mason x f!Detective (Alice Santos)

Warnings: Book 3 demo SPOILERS!!! Cursing, some angst, mentions of sex, a guy being a creep™, I guess. Sorry if there are any mistakes!

Word count: ~1.8k

Summary: A week after that scene on Haley’s Bakery, Mason deals with the aftermath of his words... Or has he been dealing with it since the very moment he said them?

Read on ao3

chapter I ⭐ chapter II ⭐ chapter IV ⭐ chapter V

                                         ☾  一一一一一一一一一   ☽ 

Outside the bar

"Can we just… not do this?" Alice spoke into the phone, her free hand running through her red hair and messing the waves she had carefully done that evening. A sigh from the other end of the line indicated her mother's reluctance to let it go.

"You seemed to be perfectly integrated with the Unit some days ago, and this week you made up a meeting with the Captain just to avoid coming to the warehouse."

Alice cringed, not her finest moment. "Look, I'm with them now, having a drink together. We're fine. Everything's fine."

"Does this have anything to do with what's been going on with Mason?"

Hearing his name made the detective snap. "Wait, is this you being a mother or being a boss?" She spat, venom on her every word. "Because you've barely gained the right to meddle in my life as either of those things."

The silence was deafening, and Alice's heartbeat kept getting faster and faster. "You weren't there when Bobby broke my heart, you don't have to be here now." Her voice cracked as she finished the sentence and she had to clear her throat.

"Is that what happened? Mason broke your heart?" Tears threatened to spill out of her green eyes at the genuine concern on Rebecca's voice.

"No, he didn't." She answered with a whisper, rebuilding her carefully placed walls.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am. I have to go, they are waiting for me."

"Alice, wait, tell me -"

She finished the call and stared at the phone's screen for a few seconds, taking calming breaths and trying to swallow the tears. The Unit would pick up on any change in her mood so she better calm down fast.

"Detective Santos. That looked intense."

She turned around quickly, finding the bearded man they were discussing inside before her mother called. Alice cleared her throat and offered a wobbling smile. "Kinda. Mr Rogers, wasn't it?"

"Please, call me Owen." He said, a wolfish smile on his lips as he offered his hand to her. Alice couldn't help but think of all the times the smirks Mason threw her way had seemed wolfish to her, and how different the chill she felt going down her spine was to the one she was feeling now.

Still, she was the detective of this town, so she shook his hand as professionally as she could. He took advantage of the situation to pull her slightly towards him, making her stumble on her heels and gaining a frown from her.

"I couldn't exactly walk up to you inside, surrounded by those guys. Popular, aren't you?"

Alice pulled her hand away and took a step backwards, creating some distance. "Those are my friends. And I would carefully think about what you say next if I were you, because so far you're doing a terrible job at flirting with me."

Owen blinked, slightly taken aback by her brashness, but recovering quickly and assuming she was challenging him. He didn't know he had picked the worst moment to annoy the detective, who usually was rather friendly and generous with her smiles. But the night had been a whirlwind of emotions and she was feeling irritated, miserable and ready to either go home and curl into the bed or get back inside and get shit faced drunk. Definitely not in the mood to deal with this man.

"I'm just saying you've probably let some of them get a taste." His grin widened, eyes travelling down her body. "Thought maybe I could be next. I'm sure I could teach you a couple of things… or maybe you could show me what you can do."

She opened her mouth to reply when a low growl interrupted her, making Owen turn around and allowing Alice to see Mason standing there, fists clenched and eyes narrowed, lips curled in a snarl. He looked dangerous, even more so than he usually did, and Alice tried to look at him from a stranger's eyes. Everything in his body and expression was screaming 'predator'. It would be the kind of situation where your body asks you to run even if you aren't sure about why you should be running. You just know you should. But she didn't feel fear, his anger was not directed towards her. She felt a thrill going through her body at his presence, forgetting her bruised heart for a moment.

"What the fuck did you just say to her?" The words were still growled as he stepped forward, and Owen took a step backwards, nearly colliding with the detective, who moved aside and around him. Mason reached out a hand to her, not moving his stormy gaze from the bearded man. Not even thinking, she slipped her hand into his and he gently moved her closer until she was tucked against his side. The detective had expected Mason to push her behind him, not keeping her by his side. She felt both of their bodies relaxing slightly at the touch, as if being close to each other was the only thing they needed in the world.

Owen looked at them with slight fear in his eyes. He could swear he had seen a glimpse of inhumanly big fangs when the long-haired man snarled. Mason's hand rested on her waist and her manicured one grabbed his shirt, his dark hair falling down his face and getting mixed with her red locks, tickling her cheek. He looked at him as if he was about to rip him apart, and the look on the detective's face let him know she would very much allow it… maybe even help him.

"Look," he croaked, "I didn't know she was with you. No harm done, okay?"

But his words didn't have the desired reaction. Another growl, and his snarl widened. It was taking all his self control not to pounce on this guy, but he knew he shouldn't. "So it was okay to be a creep to her when you didn't know? But suddenly a bad idea now you know she's my girl?"

Mason didn't miss the way her heart leaped inside her chest at his words and a pang of satisfaction almost made him shudder. If he hadn't been so fucking angry at the man standing before them he would have probably gotten goosebumps at the way she subtly pressed herself closer before speaking.

"You gotta learn how to treat women like human beings, you fucking dirtbag. If I see you creeping on anyone of this town I'll have you arrested for harassment."

The man nodded enthusiastically as he took another step backwards. Mason rolled his eyes with a huff.

"One of us is gonna kick your ass if you don't get lost. Now."

That was enough, and in a few seconds they were left alone in the street. Mason relished on her closeness, the scent of her honey scented shampoo tickling his nose, the warmth of her body expanding through their clothes and seeming to reach inside him. But she cleared her throat and he lost it all. She took a step away from him and the hand that had been resting on her waist fell limp to his side.

"Thank you. It would have been awkward if the detective of the town punched a newcomer in the dick." She chuckled awkwardly. "So, you know, thank you."

"You already said that."

She met his eyes and his forced grin let her know he was trying to mess with her to lighten the mood.

"Right. We should, uh, go back." She moved to walk past him, but his long fingers curled around her forearm and she spinned around to meet his face, now suddenly serious. He opened his mouth and closed it, his brow furrowed as if what he was about to say was too difficult to say it out loud. His fingers loosened their grip and Alice thought he was going to let her go. Of course he was going to let her go. He wouldn't face the way he hurt her because that would mean he accepted they had something worth saving. Her eyes dropped to his grip, wanting to watch, forcing to accept, he was never going to make her stay.

But his fingers tightened with new force, and her gaze snapped back to his face.

Grey eyes, tempestuous with emotion, stared at her, moving wildly through her features before he finally found the words.

"Don't go."

Her breath caught on her throat at the thought that he wasn't just talking about going inside.

He feels those things, alright. You gotta be patient while he figures them out.

Felix's words echoed inside her mind. The seconds that went by seemed to last an eternity, before she nodded slowly. Mason's shoulders dropped as he exhaled, as if a great weight had been lifted off them.

"Okay, Mason."

Meanwhile, inside the bar

"Maybe one of us should have gone outside to mediate." Nate sighed, staring inside his glass of scotch. "Those two aren't exactly good at sharing how they feel."

"Who knows." Felix shrugged, a grin widening in his face. "Maybe they're already back at Allie's apartment."

"Why would they…? Oh." Nate realised, eyes widening.

"They say the bigger the fight, the best the make up sex gets." Felix wiggled his eyebrows. "If that's true, they're in for a hell of a night."

Nate cringed, very much wishing Felix hadn't put that image of his friends inside his brain. "Ugh. I just hope Mason finds a way to fix whatever he's done without hurting her anymore."

"She knew what she was getting into by getting involved with someone like Mason." Adam said matter of factly. "He doesn't really try to hide his brashness."

Nate nodded, Mason was all sharp edges and bluntness, while the detective was much softer, gentle. It was easy for someone like her to get cut while trying to hold on to someone like him. Maybe it was a matter of how many cuts and wounds she could resist before letting go. But he liked to believe that wouldn't happen - instead, her softness would envelope his sharpness, showing him a side of himself he didn't even know it existed. A small smile bloomed on Nate's face as the thought.

"I think they both have to learn how to be around each other now that their relationship is changing."

Adam shrugged, but Felix let out a dreamy sigh. "You're such a romantic, Natey. Mason would learn so much from you if he didn't get nauseous every time he thinks about love."

Nate chuckled. "You know, maybe that's about to change."

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A/N: Let me know if you want to be tagged in the future! Thank you for reading, feedback is appreciated 😍

TAGLIST: @agentnatesewell @gloynporslen @sunchipz @agentmasonjars @msjpuddleduck @utterlyinevitable @kat-tia801 @oxjenayxo

#here it iiiisss #they needed a push ok #me: now kiss #twc #the wayhaven chronicles #twc m #detective alice santos #twc mason #agent m #agent mason #mason x mc #mason x detective #mason x alice #twc detective

[soft-sarcasm]

PARK CHANYEOL: CATCH FEELINGS.

Pairing: park chanyeol x reader. Genre: fluff, mild angst, lots of running, some use of the weed so yeah. Word count: 2,7k+ a/n: holy moly guys its been too long, i don’t think ive posted anything this year and thats a crime. i really do have a poly!chanbaek series in my drafts but it ain’t even close to be finished, along witht he 12 other wips including a CEO!JUMNYEON one that really put me throughout it while i was writing it. please take this small offering as my humble apology and tell me what you thought if you feel like it, yeah enjoy guys, sorry for the hiatus.

There were plenty things you were talented at; making the perfect cup of coffee, getting your winged eyeliner symmetrical on the first try and always having the most crowd-friendly playlist so that everyone heard something that they could appreciate. One thing that didn't make the list of ‘things you were talented at’ was navigating normal human emotions, especially of the romantic variety. A rather large thing to be left off of the list but there was little you could do to remedy it when your solution for dealing with complex and heavy emotions had always been to shut down and high tail it out of the situation as quickly as possible. It was just how you coped and was probably the reason as to why you had never participated in any sort of relationship with another person aside from ones of a platonic nature and you had only recently become comfortable with the responsibility of just being a friend to someone fairly recently.

Which was why you could literally feel your body preparing to bolt as your brain finally finished processing that this shit was real and you were currently being confessed to the Park Chanyeol.

“So….. what do you say?” Chanyeol finally prompted, taking a small beat of silence to recover from his initial admittance.

The unbridled look of expectancy and emotional transparency in his eyes was making your skin crawl and your palms sweat. What do you say to one of the most unapologetically sincere people after they’ve exposed their most intimate feeling for you to you? Definitely not run for the closest exit without a single word, definitely not that.

Which was why that was definitely what you were currently doing.

You had reached the front door of Chanyeol’s apartment before you even realised you were moving. Completely disregarding all reason and common sense as you yanked open the door, halfway down the stairwell before Chanyeol could even reach the hallway, shouting your name as you kept up your rapid movement. You weren’t even sure where you were going, especially as you hadn’t had the time to ask Chanyeol as to why you were even in his apartment in the first place before he unloaded all that feeling shit onto you.

All you could recall from the previous night was drinking one too many of Baekhyun’s homemade concoctions before nuzzling into Chanyeol’s shoulder, giggles spilling for your lips as you blindly reached for the joint in his hand and then there was nothing, nothing until you were coming to, bundled within the cosy confines of Chanyeol’s bed. You felt slightly ambushed by Chanyeol’s confession to be honest, especially as he knew almost better than anyone just how tender Baekhyun’s cocktail left one the next day and for him to admit that all to you, with such confidence and certainty. From what you could remember you even recalled him making reference to some admittance of your own as if you had been the first to start the emotional vomit train which you most certainly were not. There was no way he had been able to get any of the deep-rooted feelings you had formed for him over the past couple months of your friendship after being introduced at one of Minseok’s house party. There was no fucking way that drunk you would betray sober you that way, drunk and sober you were friends, best friends even, they had each other backs when it came to bullshit like this…..

Fuck.

You were on a street you didn’t recognize, panting as your feet burned from their harsh trapse against the pavement and it was the first time you took notice of your current state; barefoot and in nothing but what you could only assume was a pair of Chanyeol’s boxers and one of his shirts to match. Lucky for you it was only six am on a Sunday which meant most people in the student district for going to be in bed until at least 12pm, a past time you should be taking part in which made you even more frustrated with the situation. What was Chanyeol thinking? Laying all this on you before 8am on a bloody weekend? What had you done to deserve this sort of punishment?

Things between you and Chanyeol had finally smoothed out to the uttermost state of comfort and ease, with you recently falling into the pleasant routine of seeing each other on a daily basis while blatantly ignoring the more than platonic feelings you had for each other. It had been perfect! But now you were under the suspicion that drunk you had gone and ruined all of that by giving Chanyeol the impression that it was somehow okay for your relationship to be escalated. No. You weren’t ready to fuck up things with Chanyeol yet and that’s what always happened when things started getting romantic.

Suddenly emotional dependency would be a thing and your self-esteem was so tightly wired to the other person that if they were doing the slightest thing to injure your self-worth it instantly caused you to fall apart. It was frightening, the amount of responsibility you held for the other person’s emotional state when you were in a  relationship which was why you could never understand those who were able to just jump start into a partnership with another person. Weren’t they worried that they were making themselves too vulnerable? Or weren’t they concerned with the fact that they were now emotionally responsible for another person?

“Shit,” the explicit slipped from your lips before you even comprehended it as you tugged at the roots of your hair in your typical show of stress. “This is bad.”

The elderly lady walking her poodle gave you a bizarre glance as you continued to mutter yourself but you were too personally concerned to muster embarrassment. You did take a moment to imagine what you looked like to any local bystander, quite clearly wearing clothes that did not belong to you or your gender, grabbing your hair like an absolute loon; not to mention the lack of feet coverings, but that wasn’t your main worry right now. You were more focused on trying to summon some sort of recollection from the evening before because your brain had now latched onto something Chanyeol had let slip during his admittance and you couldn’t let it go.

“I wasn’t going to say anything until I was sure you felt the same, but after last night I’m sure.”

Last night, Last night, what the fuck did you say last night?

Only flickers were coming back, like a constant shifting dream. You summoned glimpses of holding onto Chanyeol, of your obnoxiously loud laugh as you found something Baekhyun had said far more entertaining than it actually was of you snuggling into the weight of his arm draped over your shoulders, of your head cradled into his neck as he carried you somewhere, probably to his room where you had woken up only minutes prior. But there were fragments missing and there was a smudged scene you just couldn’t recall as you pressed your fingers to your throbbing temples in an attempt to magically bring it forth for the recesses of your shell shocked bewildered brain.

And then like a wave, it flooded back.

You and Chanyeol were standing outside of one of the many convenience stores that littered the corners of his neighbourhood. Presumably, you had just left Baekhyun’s place and under the further assumption you had stopped for Chanyeol to buy some water for your drunk ass if the water bottle in his hand was anything to go off of. You had been left outside to lean on a pole for the safety of yourself and the contents of the cramped store. During his mission throughout the store, you had been in a heated dispute with the pole, that as most likely a lamp post, had started moving in attempts to shrug you off from your means of support. Fucking asshole.

Upon Chanyeol’s return to collect you, your brain had decided that it was time to just spout everything out.

“Are you serious right now?” Chanyeol gaped, mouth parted in utter disbelief.

You giggled, stumbling in your spot as you reached forward to boop his noise as you struggled to keep yourself from not swaying, “Of course I’m being serious.”

“You’re not fucking with me right?” He further pushed for confirmation, as if what you had just revealed was so absurd that it had to be double checked. “Is really happening right now?”

“You bet your sweet ass it is,” You crooned, absolutely thriving in the grip Chanyeol instantly placed on your forearms to keep you from staggering, “Should I repeat it so you’re sure?”

“If you wouldn’t mind,” He admitted, “I’m having a hard time convincing myself that this isn’t some sort of dream or something.”

“Okay,” Suddenly you were summoning your best impression of sober you, an expression of complete seriousness masking your face as you straightened and stood firm, “I fucking like you Park Chanyeol, in a romantic way, and I would like to be with you, in a romantic way. If you’re cool with that.”

You caught the look of absolute flabbergast on Chanyeol’s face even through your alcohol fogged perception and it made a shrill laugh rumble from your chest as you reached to pinch his cheek, “You’re so fucking handsome you know that? It’s one of the things I like about you, that and everything else, obviously.”

“I can’t believe that this is actually a thing right now.”

“So…. what do you say?”

Chanyeol had never hated the maze-like nature of Seoul neighbourhoods as much as he did right now. There were too many possible turns you might have taken in your unexpected mad dash and he found himself all but sprinting down every viable option that you could have possibly reached in the amount of time since you had sprinted off. He somewhat wished that he had been told just how fucking fast you were when you wanted to get away from something because holy shit one moment you were there and then the next you were just gone.

He knew it was a fucking stupid idea to bombard you with all of that so early in the morning but he couldn’t help it. He had been waiting for some sort of sign that you liked him back for some long so when he finally was given what he had taken as solid, unquestionable evidence he hadn’t been able to stop himself for letting it all at as soon as you showed your first signs of consciousness he. If he had known you were going to react in the way you did, I.e fucking bolting, he would have kept it to himself until at least after a cup of coffee and some weed to mellow out the situation. Instead, he had been an idiot and now he was left to search you, again, like an idiot.

He was on the cusp of giving up now, of resigning himself to the fact that your confession was a moment of drunk madness and you had simply come to your sense and realised that did in fact not fucking like him in a romantic way. He was also prepared to further resign himself to the fact that you were probably now too freaked out and would most likely never speak to even again which would result in him moping around for a while before having to eventual move on and suffer the awkwardness of seeing you at group gathering.

And then he saw you, still half dressed in his clothes, shoeless and squat down on the step of an apartment building with the most concerned expression on your face that he had ever seen. He was almost tempted to turn back, to avoid the discomfort and embarrassment that would ensue during the course of this conversation.

I’m sorry Chanyeol, I was drunk, I don’t actually feel that way about you.

And he wouldn’t even be able to be mad at you because hell he had said plenty of things that he didn’t mean while drunk. For example, the time he tried to seduce Baekhyun into sleeping with him after one too many soju bombs, only to wake up the next morning thoroughly glad that his friend had taken a pass because he wasn’t 'into Chanyeol that way,’ a wounding comment but a relief in retrospect.

But this needed to be done, this needed to be solved so you could both move on with your lives. So Chanyeol took a deep breath and uttered your name.

Your reaction was immediate, head snapping up from its hunch as your eyes widened to saucers and you scrambled to your bare feet.

“Chanyeol,” You spoke in a similar flustered fashion as he minimised the space between you two.

“Hi,” He responded as you simply blinked at him.

There was a beat of silence as you both just stared at one another before you were both compelled to speak.

“I’m sorry, let’s just forget about it-”

“I say yes-”

It was only a moment after Chanyeol had spoken his own apology that his brain actually realised what you had said. Yes. Yes to what? To never seeing him again? Yes, you didn’t feel the same? Or yes to his previous question.

Do you want to be with me?

“I’m sorry,” He repeated but this time for a completely separate purpose of you clarifying yourself, “What?”

“I say yes,” You reaffirmed, more confidence in your tone this time around. “I do want to be with you.”

“Are you serious?” Chanyeol felt as if last night was simply repeating itself as he gaped at you.

“Yes. I’m serious. Though I have to warn you I’m not really good at this whole romantic thing and holy fuck I’m absolutely terrified right now but I also know that I really fucking like you and I think it’s time that I stop being afraid of that and that I actually just fucking try something for once in my-”

He couldn’t help but reach out for your, hand finding a gentle perch on your forearm so that you actually looked him in the eye instead of the pavement you had suddenly found extremely interesting. “Thank you.”

Confusion flashed through your eyes, “For what?”

“For deciding that I was worth trying.”

“What do you mean worth trying?” You scoffed back, “You’re more than worth it, you deserve way fucking more than my dysfunctional, the emotionally stunted ass can give you, really I should be the one thanking you because reall-”

You were cut off by the plush of Chanyeoul’s lips against yours, a cliche move to silence your rambling but one you instantly reciprocated as heat bloomed in your chest. You hadn’t fully realised just how much you had been aching for this until now until there was suddenly a purr of content coming from the cavity that pumped blood throughout your body and never failed to tell you where you were flustered or overwhelmed.

It felt like eons later and yet not long enough when Chanyeol finally pulled back, a smile on his lips, “Are you done running away now?”

A snorted laugh escaped you as you rolled your eyes, “For now at least.” You reached up to yet again boop his nose, “got keep things exciting somehow.”

#writing #exo scenarios #chanyeol scenarios #park chanyeol scenarios #exo fluff #exo angst #exo #park chanyeol #kpo scenarios #kpop

[artificialqueens]

monster mash (pharon)- lem0n_b0y

a/n- hi, hello, how are ya?! here’s a sweet little thing ive been working on for while! it’s pharon reunited, where sharon doesn’t recognize phi phi at a party and follows her to the back yard to flirt with her only to see it’s her old enemy. (also thank y'all for all the sweet compliments on taxidermy butterfly ♡♡♡)

The bass of the speakers make the floor buzz with vibrations. The ‘Monster Mash’ was playing at way too loud of a volume. All around Sharon is just people yelling over the music to have conversations that none of the party goers will remember. The floor is covered in purple cups, orange and black confetti and beer bottle caps. It was a very atypical college Halloween party.

Sharon wasn’t invited to the party but there were too many people to even notice this scrawny black haired girl with dumb dollar store devil horns mounted on her head who had wiggled her way in for free beer. Part of her thought the alcohol wasn’t worth the hearing loss she’d experience but when you’re working paycheck to paycheck, a free booze are worth it.

Squeezing through the crowds to get to a near by couch, she accidentally bumps into a few blondes that were busy chatting with slurred speech. They were all dressed as so called sexy school girls. From what Sharon can make out, it’s about some boy they were all preying over. Typically drunk girl behaviour.

Sharon finally took a seat onto the empty couch. She sat there fiddling with her bottle, tapping her nails against the sweating glass as she looks through her phone. No new messages were to be seen, which she expected. It was Halloween afterall, most of her friends would be at their own parties across town or asleep at the home. Admittedly, Sharon was bored. It was one of her favorite holidays, she loved all the traditions and colors of the child centric holiday. Of course there was adult fun, as shown by the party. She had gone to this party alone in hopes to find a girl to flirt with while she was there or to drink so much beer she pukes into a pumpkin head. To which she struck no luck with girls in the large house, none had stuck out just yet.

Part of her said she should just go back to the apartment and watch Hocus Pocus for the millionth time. Lord knows she needed some sleep before working tomorrow. The other part of her said she shouldn’t go home and to keep partying til some straight girl decided to try out a girl for the night.

Leaning into the couch, Sharon looks at the TV that was playing a classic movie to watch on this seemingly anticlimactic hoilday; Halloween Town. It wasn’t the best movie but it sure is a 'feel good’ kind of film when your 4 beers into the night. She watches the screen for what seems like hours when it is mearly minutes, her ears ring from the loud music and voices surrounding her.

Her eyes drift across the room to see some more kids pile into the house. The costumes vary from vampires to sexy nuns. There was always something distasteful about costumes that are made sexy in Sharon’s taste. Perhaps it just wasn’t her cup of tea after all.

In the incoming crowd, there’s one girl that finally catches her eyes. Another blonde enters the room dressed in a sheer white top with borderline lingerie underneath. A ridiculously sparky halo hangs above her head paired with what makes out to be white wings strapped to her back. With Sharon’s interest peaked, she tries to lean over the couches arm to get a better look at the young girls face. She had disappeared from her sight.

“Well shit.” She mutters to herself as she stands to what she told herself, 'another beer’. In reality she was in a hunt for the piece of heaven she had gotten a glimps of. Pushing back through the crown was one task but to look through the giant house for a little angel was another. Making her way to the kitchen, Sharon scans the room for the blonde girl. She pushes towards the cooler of beers to grab another bottle and attempt to see the top of her halo. Her sparky little halo wasn’t staying in place by any means, she was on the move. With her beer in hand, Sharon tries to follow her calmly to where ever she was heading.

Bodies repeatly bumping into Sharon, she slowly becomes more and more annoyed. Each elbow jab to the side pushed her closer to pushing people out of her way completely. Squeezing between the last of the loud crowd she finds herself to the backdoor where the there was significantly less people. She scans the backyard as she pushes hair from her face, looking for the halo. Luckily the angel was sat near the pool with a cup in her hand. She talks to a girl in a cape. Sharon guessed from the behind view that she might be a vampire.

Sharon makes her way towards the pool to try and chat with the angel. The air was cool which was good for someone like her who was wearing all black, Halloweens always seemed to be hot but the night was looking to be in her favor. The caped girl turns around to see the approaching Sharon. The girl had wavey black hair much like her own and the brightest blue eyes anyone had ever seen, but Sharon had seen them before.

“Sharon?” The girl calls out, perking up with excitement.

“Wait- Katya!?” Sharon quickly runs towards the pool to be greeted with Katya standing up for a hug. Grabbing her quickly, Sharon spins the them around. Katya was a dear friend of hers who she never really sees. Since she lives across town, Sharon never has the time or money to visit her as often as usual. Their reunion is filled with laughs and smiles as they hug for a long moment. Sharon ends the hug to begin chatter with her old pal. She had completely forgotten about her initial game plan.

“So why are you in town?” She questions, smiling wide to the equally excited Katya. “Phi suggested this party so I decided to tag along.”

Sharon’s eyes widen as she looks down at the awkward woman that sat by the pool on her phone. Phi Phi was quietly on her phone to wait til the girls stopped their reunion. Nodding to Katya, Sharon pulls her towards the glass door silently. She had made a big mistake. “We’ll be back!” Katya yells to Phi Phi as she is forcefully moved.

Leaning against the house, Sharon quickly pulls out her box of cigarettes to hand one to Katya and placing one in her mouth. “Why did you drag me over here? Aren’t you two okay?”

“Yes! Yes yes yes- we are fine. Perfectly fine. But I just spent 10 mintutes to push through a crowd to figure out who she was because I thought she was hot. That’s an issue.” She lights her ciggerate and hands the lighter to Katya. Sharon nervously smokes, sipping her bottle between each puff of smoke. “So why not just ask her to fuck?”

That was not about to happen. “No! No no no! That’s a terrible idea. She would definitely tell me no. We just became okay with eachother so I doubt she’d say 'Ya know what Sharon, maybe we could fuck after we just patched up a year long dispute over your ex girfriend.’ That is NOT happening Katya! Not in a million years!” She huffs as she takes a long drag from her already almost burnt out cigarette. She had zero chances of fucking Phi Phi tonight. It was not even close to a possible goal. “You could at least ask! If she says no just say 'I’m sorry.’ Then it’ll be okay, right?”

“That’s so awkward! If she says no, I’ll just say sorry? That’s so fucking akward!”

“Then just don’t ask, okay?! I need to go sit with my friend so you can join if you’d like.” Katya turns to walk back to her friend who sat alone, but is quickly snatched back by Sharon. “But don’t tell her I said any of this. Got it?”

“I’m pretty sure she can hear us from here.” Katya detaches Sharon’s hand from her wrist and walks to the poolside. Sharon leans herself against the side of the house, lighting a new cigarette for herself.

She thought to herself that may have been the most awkward conversation she’s had in awhile. How was she supposed to respond? Her old friend suggesting she simply ask her ex-enemy to have sex for the night was a crazy stupid concept. She knew better than to ruin that new found comfortablilty with Phi Phi. All she thought was she look cute tonight. That could be an understatement, she looked more than just cute. Sharon admits to herself that she looks hot.

Her eyes lazily staring in her direction, she looks at her angel wings. They were poorly made, as if they just came in a pack with the halo. She twirls her finger around a lock of hair, finishing up her cigarette as she turns to go back into the house. Maybe she should just go back home period, snag a few beers on her way out and get a taxi. Before being able to plan out her way home, Sharon is stopped from re entering the noisey home by a hand on her shoulder.

Turning quickly to see who’s touching her, she’s faced with angel she had followed around. Phi Phi has a smile painted across her face as if Katya didn’t just tell her everything about the conversation she just had with Sharon. Nonetheless, she stands in front of Sharon who could feel herself heat up with nervousness. “Oh- Hey.” Is all Sharon can blurt out. She was at a loss for words.

“Don’t act so stiff like you don’t know me. How have you been?” Phi Phi bounces in her place with a smile still on her face. Her happiness was so vibrent, Sharon could feel herself start to smile like an idiot. She fiddles with her jacket before speaking with a timid voice “I’m good! I’m good. uh- how much did Katya tell you?”

Phi Phi raises a brow before responding to Sharons nervous question. She turns around to look at Katya, who had quickly taken a liking to a young woman dressed as a Barbie. “What do you mean?” As Phi Phi turns back around, she cocks her head to the side ever so slightly like a confused puppy. Katya had kept her mouth shut for once, and Sharon was suprised. With Phi Phi now standing there confused, all she could do was try and change the subject from her slight fuck up. “Uh, nevermind that. So where are you staying nowadays?”

“I actually just moved back in town, Guess I just missed the area too much.” Phi Phi smiles wide, shaking the confusion into the back of her mind. She fiddles with her sheer top, awaiting Sharon’s delayed response. Sharon had been too busy staring at her costume. “Oh thats great! I’m still living where I used to.”

“The apartments? I thought you hated it there!”

Sharon smiles sheepishly, running her hand on the back of her neck. “I hate the people in the building, but it’s nice. Just me, myself, and the ghost that likes to knock down my picture frames in my own little space.” If only the ghost was a joke. Sharon had questioned the random falling of picture frames to be a spirit for quite some time now, but often just ignores it. Phi Phis eyes lit up at the ghost joke, she smiles and chuckles over it.

“Well how’s dating been since you and Alaska broke up? Are you two still friends?” Phi Phi was hesistant to pop the question regarding her ex. It was a well known fact that she hadn’t always liked Alaska during their relationship.

“I havent jumped into another relationship but of course we’re friends. It was for the best ya know? We still hang out all the time.” Sharon reaches into her pocket for another ciggerate and holds it between her lips. “What about you? Seeing anyone?”

Phi Phi smiles sheepishly at the question. She wasn’t much of a relationship kind of person. Being on her own was kind of her thing. She would have flings here and there with men and women alike but nothing steady, nothing worth mentioning. “Nah, dating isn’t my speed. Prefer to come and go as I please.” Phi Phi takes a sip of her beer and leans against the brick wall, watching Katya scramble to flirt with the gorgeous, tall, blonde she had met. “I guess I really like being alone. I have friends to make sure I’m all good, I don’t need one person to emotionally depend on for help AND have to romantically be involved with them.”

“Keep your emotions and your romance separate I see. Same old same old.” Sharon chuckles and leans on the wall next to her. She blows smoke out and flicks ashes from her cigarette onto the patio. They both sat in silence as they looked around at all the people who had found their way into the backyard. People pushed into the pool, guys flirting with girls and getting rejected, blunts being shared to top it all off. It was like the perfect party scene you’d see in movies. Sharon turns to Phi Phi who is still focused on the surroundings, almost looking on awe. She takes another puff of her cigarette.

“Looks like Katyas getting laid tonight.” Phi Phi says, watching as the vampire and the Barbie sneak to the back of the house. She sighs a little and sips her beer. “I should probably should go interven so I’m not left here alone.” Phi Phi steps away from the wall and adjusts her outfit, along with her angel wings. She looks reluctant and seemingly saddened. Before she could say her goodbyes to Sharon, she’s yanked back towards the wall by her waist. Sharon pulls her close, holding her in place. “Please don’t leave just yet, or at least let me give you something before you go and cock block Katya.” She smoothes down the shear fabric that she had pulled Phi Phi closer by.

Phi Phi looks confused but stands there willingly. The tight grip on her waist to with the gentle, smoothing touch makes her turn to putty. She watches as Sharon’s mind scrambles to find a reason for her to stay longer. Her eyes bolt around for something to distract Phi Phi long enough to forget about Katya. Watching as her nervous facial expression grows and Sharon’s eyes scans the surrounds behind her, Phi Phi moves closer, pressing her into the wall.

She stands on her tippy toes and cups Sharon’s face. Gently pressing her lips against hers, Phi Phi keeps Sharon’s face in place to assure she doesn’t pull away. But she wouldn’t, Sharon didn’t plan on moving away. She stayed still, soaking in every second of the strange kiss. Her cigarette falls from between her fingers, every inch of Sharons body turns to mush. Phi Phi slowly smiles into the kiss before gentle pulling herself away before getting too wrapped up. She looks Sharon back in her eyes that now appear glazed over. Speechless, Phi Phi just wraps her arms around her torso in a long hug. Sharon smiles softly before wrapping her arms around the smaller girl.

“I’m really tipsy, I’m sorry I don’t know how to react.” Sharon says quietly. Phi Phi nods and rests her head onto her chest. “You looked anxious about me leaving so I distracted you. Did it work?”

“Of course it worked. I’ve wanted to kiss you all night. You look so cute as an angel.”

Phi Phi pulls away from the hug and looks up at Sharon with a big smile. “You wanted to kiss me all night?” She was genuinely shocked by it. Sharon was the last person she thought would want to kiss her, but Phi Phi knew she really wanted to kiss her. At least both of their wishes came true.

Sharon laughs and rubs the back of her neck nervously. She had completely forgotten that Katya didn’t infact tell Phi Phi about her chase after her through the party just to fuck her. Having Sharon, someone who used to hate Phi Phis guts, saying she had been dying to kiss her all night was a shocker. “Yeah… I actually didn’t recognize you when I saw you come in tonight and my first thought was I wanted to take you home with me. Is that too weird? Considering our history?”

Phi Phi laughs at the new found knowledge and smirks ever so slightly. Sharon sure did have a thing for blondes. “It’s only weird because everything about you is weird. But why don’t you just take me home, hm?” Phi Phi reaches her arm up and flicks the plastic horns that sat on Sharons head. She grins up at the now bashful Sharon. Her ghostly cheeks start bubbling up with blood at just the thought of this angel coming home with her. To her it didn’t feel like a real offer.

“Do you want to? Like actually?” Eyes widening, her nerves flood out in her speech, Sharon pulls a new cigarette from her pack in hopes to calm down.

“Only if you want to Shar-Bear. But considering I just held you against a wall to kiss you, proves that I would love to.” She bounces in her place, still smiling at the blushing Sharon. The offer starts to really sound good to Sharon as the nicotine floods her bloodstream. She takes a deep breathe before speaking. “I’d love to as well. This really is a full circle moment. From enemy’s, to friends, to fucking…”

“Oh shut up! I’m going to go tell Katya, okay? So she knows where I am.”

Phi Phi walks off to go search for her friend to make sure she was still alive and that she would need a ride in the morning. Sharon watched as she walks off to find Katya and she can do is smile. She was happy, but she wasn’t sure why. The random kiss from what was forbidden lips had really made her feel her heart thump a little harder. The harder heartbeats hadn’t been felt since she was with Alaska. Smiling as she takes in a long drag from her cigarette, she leans her head back onto the wall. A cloud of smoke is flooded in front of her as she exhales.

As the blonde angel comes running back, Sharon has finished her cigarette. Toss the butt down to the ground she holds her hands in her pocket. “Katya says she get me tomorrow morning if that’s alright?” Phi Phi abruptly stops in front of Sharon, attempting to catch her breath. Her halo had fallen crooked and some strains of hair in her face. Sharon smiles and moves the stray hair a behind her ear. “That’s fine with me. So, let’s blow this popsicle stand?”

#rpdr fanfiction #pharon #itty bitty slow burn tbh #phi phi o'hara #sharon needles #cisgirl au #lesbian au #lem0nb0y

[rayonfrozenwings]

I was tagged by @rosecailoway, @photofeesh  @rowaelinsmut and @theyretheirthere thank you my lovely babes. I almost forgot. but I got there like 10hours later. >.< lol

last?

drink: Water phone call: mother in law text message: Husband song you listened to: you spin me right round baby right round - on a movie - the wedding singer... cant say who sings it.  time you cried: dont know

ever?

dated someone twice: Yes kissed someone and regretted it: Yes been cheated on: kinda lost someone special: Yes gotten drunk and thrown up: oh yes fave colors? Blue, pink, white, black

in the last year have you?

made new friends: Yes fallen out of love: No laughed until you cried: yes - i think, I blame voice chats.  found out someone was talking about you: no - but they prob are... lol that sounds vain, but i mean, it would be silly to think people arent if i talk about others? ya know? even in passing. like oh the funniest thing happened, x said bla bla. and then that is... i dunno if im meant to interpret this a different way - probably... *shrug* met someone who changed you: dont know. probably. cant think of anyone in particular tho. found out who your friends are: *shrug* found that out a while ago... kissed someone on your Facebook friends list: Yes

general

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all bar 3 I think. do you have any pets: a black labrador cross do you want to change your name: nah what did you do for your last birthday: i think i was taken out to brunch, but I cant remember... so long ago... lol 3 months was ages ago hahahaha. what time did you wake up today: woke-7 got out of bed -9 what were you doing last night at midnight: ;) - nah jk sleeping haha what is something you can’t wait for:  that freaken book. Koa what are you listening to right now: the wedding singer on in the background  have you ever talked to a person named tom: probably *shrug* something that gets on your nerves: slow walkers. hearing my name for the hundredth time in an hour.... *rolls eyes* most visited website: Tumblr, discord, gmail hair colour: dark brown with purple tones. long or short hair: its long atm. but dont have a preference what do you like about yourself: i like my brain/personality most days, my shoulders, my boobs, my height...  want any piercings: not at this stage  blood type: O+ nicknames: nope.  relationship status: Married with kids. lol zodiac sign: Gemini pronouns: She/her. fave tv show: I dunno.... um.... I’m enjoying Home and Away at the moment. >.< tattoos: 0 right or left handed: right ever had surgery: yup piercings: yup - just ears sports: i used to play netball and loved it so much, but my knees are fucked = no jumping and twisting, which means I cant really defend... so.... its not happening. vacation: ... my next one?..... maybe a trip to see my parents for christmas? I need to organise it tho or it wont happen. um... other than that. no plans. trainers: ? yes? i guess. what is this asking? I have asics because of my huge ass feet.  eating: nothing drinking: nothing... i’m about to watch: the wedding singer, when i finish this, ill pay attention more.... waiting for: bed, i’m sleepy, but enjoying time without kids.  want: So many things…  get married: tick.  career: if anyone has any ideas let me know... currently mum. hugs or kisses: both. why not both? lips or eyes: again. both. why not both? shorter or taller: taller than me. so when i get a hug from behind the arms are like coming around me in a cocoon. its so nice. older or younger: I am older? all areas. lol nice arms or stomach: Arms hookup or relationship: *shrugs* I dont have anything to judge it on - relationship is good, but never had a hookup so couldnt say which was better.  troublemaker or hesitant: “Depends on the scenario” - agree Kathleen me too, so using your words.

have you ever?

kissed a stranger: Yes drank hard liquor: Yes lost glasses: Nope turned someone down: Yep sex on the first date: No broken someone’s heart: Yes had your heart broken: No been arrested: No cried when someone died: Yes fallen for a friend: Yes

do you believe in

yourself: sometimes depends on the scenario  miracles: sometimes love at first sight: sometimes kiss on the first date: sometimes angels: sometimes lol whoops. guess I should say I flip flop sometimes. 

other?

best friend’s name: Hubby  eye colour: Dark olive green that almost looks brown. fave movie: eh. ive enjoyed thor ragnarok and the wedding singer? lol i cant pick. favourite actor: dont really have one...  favourite food: anything that doesnt kill me - currently its potato chips plain salt flavour.  extrovert or introvert: “It depends who I’m with…”- again im using kathleen’s words favourite flower: Roses. White if I can. favourite hello kitty character? I don’t know any

tagging anyone that wants to do this! and @emcrie @urbisie @verifiefangirl @nephelle-warrior-scribe @beka2305 @bookofmirth @feyrearch @terrasn @morrigan-the-dreamer @slytherclaw713 @lady-katkat

#tag games #i got there in the end #now to go and watch the wedding singer #because im trash and i dont care

[stevesharrlngtons]

hey.

steve harrington x reader

summary: he was such a staple piece in your life, that as a child and young teen, you never saw your life without him. late night promises and pinky swears were made in blanket forts that you two would be friends until the day the sun burned out in the sky. it was just a given that’d he be there, that you never worried about the two of you drifting apart or being separated. he promised he’d always be there, and you had believed him. you now corrected yourself, foolishly believed him.

word count: 3.6k

title from this song.

a/n: multi chapter time! getting ready for slow burn!steve… if you guys like this i will post the other chapters i have! this is going to be a doozie, like a double digit chapter doozie… so let me know. i’m so nervous to post this, my palms are sweating... sorry for this painfully generic best friends trope fic!

chapter ii / iii / iv / v / vi / vii / viii

                                                     chapter i

The cold metal of Jonathan Byers’ car had begun to penetrate through your jeans and attack the skin of your thighs. The two of you were sat side by side, about a mile or two away from a house party Nancy had persuaded the two of you to go to. Neither of you had partying in your blood and drinks on the mind, so you had originally decided to bag the party and go see Dune for the third time. But half way to the theater, Jonathan had pulled off the road, mumbling an excuse about needing to think and you watched quietly through the windshield as he hopped on the hood of the car and put his head in his hands. Letting him wallow dramatically for a moment, you had put your jacket on and stepped outside to sit next to him. He made no indication of speaking as you settled on the car. You pulled a pack of cigarettes from your pocket and offered one to Jonathan, who scowled and put his hand up, declining your offer. You rolled your eyes and shook the pack at him again, insisting. Begrudgingly he took a small white cigarette from the pack and after you did the same, you lit both.

“Are we going to sit out here in the cold all night or are you just going to tell me what’s up?” You asked matter-a-factly as you turned towards your friend.

“Just tired of seeing Dune, I guess.” He shrugged and took a drag, trying his best to mask the small cough that came after he did.

“You wound me, Jonathan, you really do.” You chuckled and placed the cigarette to your lips.

“What?”

“Lying to me so blatantly, not only about what’s wrong, but that Dune is a bad movie!” He chuckled.

“Just think that maybe we should go the party, s’all…” He muttered, almost like he was embarrassed.

“We totally can, and like totally get totally wasted!” You mocked in a valley girl voice, spinning a lock of your hair around your finger.

“Fuck you, forget it…” Jonathan proceeded to throw his cigarette to the ground and slide off the car and towards the driver’s side door.  

“Hey, hey-“ You called after him,  it was clear you had offended him.

You leaned your body over the hood of the car and stretched towards him to grab his arm. During this movement, your sweater rode up and the cold stele of the car pricked the skin of your stomach uncomfortably.

“Stop, I’m sorry, okay? I was just fucking with you. If you really want to go, you know I’ll go with you.” Your voice was calm and reassuring.

Jonathan was still looking away from you and sighed.

“No, it was stupid idea. If we want to get drunk we can go to your house and drink jack and cokes and watch old Twilight Zone episodes.”

“While that does sound appealing,” You had now wiggled yourself onto your knees and used your other hand to grab Jonathan’s other arm so he would look at you, “I think we should be cool, regular teenagers for a night, and put our grouchy, cynical selves on hold.”

“I’m not grouchy and cynical!”

“Keep telling yourself that.” You smiled and patted his shoulder affectionately.

Then it was your turn to slide off the car and return to inside the cab.

“It’s going to be lame, I don’t even know why I thought we should go.” Jonathan groused as he started the car.

“Call it a lapse in judgement.” You shrugged and pulled out your pack of cigarettes again.

“Eh eh!” Jonathan batted the back out of your hand, “I told you not in the car.”

You rolled your eyes, “See! Grouchy!”

“Shut up!” He grumbled then muttered something about how you said you were quitting…

Once at Tina’s house party, you were surprised just how much it resembled parties in the movies. You swore every kid in the junior and senior class were binge drinking and dancing together somewhere on the premise.

You and Jonathan walked through the house, just taking it all in. While on the way to the party, he had mentioned wanting to split off from you to find Nancy once you arrived, and you had no objections. Even though Nancy was currently off the market, it was hard for you not to root for Jonathan to get the girl. But now, Jonathan seemed to be sewn to your side, not even making an attempt to look for Nancy, or anyone for that matter. You suggested that you two get a drink, and even if Jonathan had objections, he didn’t say a word.

After you had had a few drinks, the party started to actually become enjoyable. Somewhere along the way, Jonathan had detached from you and disappeared into the crowd of your classmates, but you didn’t really mind. You had struck up a conversation with a girl in your English class who you had gone to school with for years. She was an easy target for you because you knew she would just blather on and on and you wouldn’t really have to make an effort to reply or pay attention. All you had to do was nod occasionally and laugh when it seemed appropriate. But one of the many topics she was spewing over struck a chord with you.

“I mean we’ve all went to school together forever, it’s like we all have a history one way or another! Like when you were best friends with Steve Harrington, you remember that?” The girl laughed and you joined in with a false smile.

“Yeah, pretty crazy to think about that.” You forced yourself to reply, and raised your cup to your lips.

It was crazy to think about. As kids, your parents had been best friends with Steve’s, so it just went hand in hand that you two would spend time together when they did. But unlike a lot of people you were forced to spend time with as a child, Steve was the only one you looked forward to seeing. You two were a duo, you rarely heard your name mentioned without his close behind. (Y/N) and Steve, Steve and (Y/N). His mother joked that she couldn’t wait for the two of you to be eighteen so you could go on and be her daughter-in-law already. It was playfully banter that your mothers would talk about, but one day Steve seemed to ask you for real.

“I would marry you, just so we could be friends forever.” He said one day when you both were nine.

“I’m pretty sure we don’t have to be married to stay friends forever, Steve.” You had laughed.

“Yeah, but it will make it easier.”

He was such a staple piece in your life, that as a child and young teen, you never saw your life without him. Late night promises and pinky swears were made in blanket forts that you two would be friends until the day the sun burned out in the sky. It was just a given that’d he be there, that you never worried about the two of you drifting apart or being separated. He promised he’d always be there, and you had believed him. You now corrected yourself, foolishly believed him.

Steve got better at basketball in the eighth grade. So good, that the girls from the ninth grade would come to the games to fawn over him. His new found confidence, growth spurt and newly straightened teeth were also factors in the copious amounts of new girls cheering for him every week. They cheered so loud that you wondered if he even heard your encouragements from the stands anymore. After he stopped returning your calls, walking with you to school and avoiding you at lunch time, you knew that your cheers meant nothing anymore. He made a weird effort to skill talk to you in the halls but you always noticed when he was being fake and uninterested. Soon his half assed effort stopped all together and you had accepted that the Steve Harrington you knew was gone, and long reign King Steve.

The summer before high school was lonely and bitter without him. You’re mother often asked why you didn’t give him a call, but you told her she wouldn’t understand. You weren’t friends anymore, simple as that. People grow apart, that’s life. You just honestly never thought that it would happen with Steve.

But one day in July, you rode your bike to town to get an ICEE from the gas station. Your house was loud, filled with the fighting of your parents and it just wasn’t worth it to get wrapped up in the middle of whatever bullshit they were arguing about now. As you were riding, you didn’t notice a sharp rock on the road. When you unknowingly road over it, the rock ended up flying up to hit your knee hard, causing you to tumble off onto the street. You tried to collect yourself as quickly as possible, a red burn gracing your cheeks. You had hoped that no one had been around to see, but the sound of a bike braking and falling next to you said otherwise.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” A voice asked in a shocked and concerned tone.

You looked up at the young boy in an embarrassed haze and tried to wave him off.

“Yeah, it’s all good.” You said unconvincingly.

Even if your faltering tone had convinced him, the red blood gushing from your knee and soaking your white sock was a sure fire indicator that everything wasn’t as you said.

“Let me help you.” He said to you, extending his hand out to you.

And for some reason, you took it.

And that’s how you met Jonathan Byers.

He had taken you to his house and had his mom help clean you up. She had been a nice woman with kind eyes, she reminded you of your own mother, but maybe more maternal than yours ever was to you.

After that you and Jonathan just started hanging out every day because there wasn’t really anyone else to hang out with. You both bounded over the fact that you were both a bit friendless at the moment, and both had parents going through messy divorces. It was nice to have someone to talk to again, and you could tell that Jonathan thought it was nice to have anyone to talk to at all.

So as summer came and went, and high school started for the both of you, it seemed to everyone else you had traded Steve in for another model. Some people might have thought it was a down grade from the king of school to a quiet Bowie kid, but you thought the opposite.

Steve never paid you any mind to you, even in classes that you shared, he’d actively not look at you or do anything he could to ignore you. It hurt you more than you let on. But you just tried to do the same, pretending everything Steve Harrington had ever done and said to you had been fiction and never even existed in the first place.

Throughout high school you befriended some people, but only causally. It was hard for you to get close to people and open up to them. So just surface level, superficially friendships worked for you. Jonathan never understood why you insisted on making so many acquaintances.

“It’s fun. I’d rather talk about Olivia Newton John with a girl I can tolerate for a class period than not talk to anyone at all. Besides, at the end of the day, I get to come bicker and talk with you about art house and Iggy Pop anyways, so who cares.”

He would always look at you baffled. Jonathan prided himself on being an outsider, so he could never wrap his head around why you sometimes tried not to be. You still were and he always knew you would choose him over any of the high school asshole any day, but sometimes you just confused him.

Like how even after years of the two of you not being friends, anytime Jonathan or anyone else would bring up Steve in conversation, you would stiffen and immediately change the subject. You often talked about your friendship with Steve like a bad cold, it was shitty but now it was over and you didn’t want to think about it anymore. He’d always noticed that after Steve had abandoned you, there were clear rigid walls built around you. Aside from Jonathan, you kept most, if not all personal and heart felt details about your life to yourself. You always said you’d hate Steve forever for fracturing your life even more than it already had been in your thirteenth year. That’s why Jonathan wondered why you looked so hurt when you had found out that Steve was dating Nancy Wheeler. You had told him it was because Nancy was your friend and Steve was an asshole who would break her heart, no doubt. But he knew that wasn’t the whole story, but he never pushed it any further. He hated that Nancy and Steve were dating too, for his own selfish reasons. But all that went out the window when Will went missing.

Jonathan deteriorated, and you did too. But you were the strong one out of the both of you, you had to be. So, when he became distant and started to spend more time with Nancy Wheeler you felt a pang of jealousy but didn’t do anything about it. It felt like she kept taking every important boy away from you… But you let Jonathan do his thing, knowing the way he pined for her. The only time you wanted to meddle in his secret affairs was when Steve had broken his camera. Jonathan made you promise not to slash his tires like you had planned.

This all led you to the day you went to Jonathan’s house to see if he would want to drive a few towns over to go see Videodrome with you. But after pounding on the door for what seemed like ages, you had been met with a gun toting Nancy Wheeler, a bloodied Steve Harrington, and a shocked Jonathan Byers.

After mass confusion and lots of yelling back and forth, you four were confronted by what they had told you was coming but you hadn’t believed. You all fought whatever the hell was there and after it disappeared things were tense and quiet between the four of you. As you all stood on the porch looking into the night, you heard Nancy sigh and run back into the house, Jonathan hot on her heels. But not you, and to your surprise, not Steve either.

“Long time no see, huh?” He cracked wise next to you.

“Yeah, hell of a reunion.” You chuckled sadly to yourself.

“This has all been…” You turned to him and see that he was stammering to find words that could even come close to describe what the two of you had stumbled upon tonight.

“Yeah. It has.” You said, knowing no word could even fit the description.

That’s when Steve looked up into your eyes for what seemed to be the first time in almost four years. His eyes seemed to soften when he looked at you, and you felt yours do the same. Even now, mangled and broken, he was still perfect. And you hated it. Because you knew tomorrow he wouldn’t be this soft eyed, joking Steve anymore. And you wouldn’t be this version of yourself with your guard down.

“Well,” you said, tearing your gaze away from his, “I’m gonna get going. Tell Jonathan to call me later, I guess. I need some time to digest what the fuck just happened.”

You shrugged and turned away from Steve, making a conscious effort to not have your shoulder hit his as you walked towards your car.

“Hey, (Y/N)?” Steve called after you when you were a few paces away.

You turned around against your better judgement.

“I could, you know, drive you home? If you want me too…” Steve spoke, stumbling over his words.

It was kind of cute, it made your mind regress to the time when you would have happily obliged. But things were different now. You didn’t hate Steve like you wished you did, but you also weren’t chomping at the bit to be close to him again. So even though the two of you had just shared a life altering experience, you knew you didn’t want to accept the ride.

“Thanks, but I’ll just drive. You gotta stay here with Nance and stuff anyway.” You said back to him.

“Y’know, just in case they go off and try to fight the Loch Ness Monster, one of us should be here to protect them.” You added with a chuckle, after you had feared that your initial response sounded like you were jealous of him and Nancy.

“Yeah,” Steve stifled a smile, “You’re right, who knows what they could get into next.”

You offered him one last small smile before getting into your car and driving away.

Of all the things that haunted you from that night, the disappointed, hurt look on Steve’s face after you rejected the ride home always resonated first in your mind.

After that night, you and Steve became somewhat friendly again, but for the most part, nothing changed except now you both held a secret the government would kill you if you ever told.

You and Jonathan went back to disassociating and Nancy and Steve went back to, well, whatever Nancy and Steve did. You didn’t really care. It wasn’t your business anyways. But one night while you and Jonathan were drunkenly heckling Marsha Brady on the television, Jonathan got solemn and quiet.

“Why doesn’t she love me, (Y/N/N)?”

This had taken you aback, especially in your drunken stupor, but you knew exactly what and who he meant.

“Because she’s a fucking idiot.”

“Yeah, no, I don’t know…” He babbled softly.

“He’s a fucking idiot too, y’know.”

“What?” You asked, this time in the dark about what he meant.

“Steve. He should love you back, too.”

You hadn’t been sure if Jonathan had meant what he said, or even remembered, but he had went back to laughing at the TV, while you had sat in a stunned silence.

Neither of you had mentioned that night again.

You had escaped from the chatty girl in the kitchen of Tina’s house, telling her you were going to go find Jonathan, but really you just wanted to get away from her. You didn’t like to think about your past with Steve, and you feared she’d bring it up again. So now you sat on the front porch of the house party, chin resting on your knees and burning cigarette in your fingers. The sound of muffled music billowed out from the house. You could still clearly hear the lyrics of the song being played but that was about it. A few party guests were out front with you, but they were either too drunk or preoccupied to notice or bother you. Your buzz was starting to wear off and you debated just walking home and leaving a note on Jonathan’s car telling him where you went and not to worry. But as you weighed your options, the music grew louder and more clear, and a person brushed passed you. You were about to scold them for running into you, but you recognized the back of Steve’s head almost instantaneously. He rushed around you and towards the hordes of parked cars with conviction. Who the hell was king Steve to leave a party before midnight?

You were going to let him be, but since the two of you were done pretending that the other didn’t exist, you thought you’d at least try to deduce what was wrong with him, if anything even was.

“Harrington.” You called out after Steve, but he kept walking.

“Hey, Steve!” You called again, now getting up and hustling towards him.

This time he turned around and you almost walked into him.

“What?” He asked sharply, but became visibly calmer when he saw it was you.

“Sorry.” He mumbled.

“What’s up? Not even midnight yet and you’re skipping out?” You asked, taking a drag from your cigarette.

“I… wait, you smoke?” He said, like he was caught off guard.

You shrugged, “On special occasions.”

“And this is one of them?”

“Guess so.”

“I’m just tired, that’s all.” He lied.

“Try again, Harrington.” You said to him after his lie had failed to convince you.

“Just don’t worry about it, okay? I’m fine.”

“Okay, well, y’know, if you wanna talk about it, I’ll listen…” You trailed off awkwardly. You meant it, but it felt weird consoling someone who was basically a stranger to you now. He was very clearly not okay, but you weren’t going to stand here and force him to talk to you. If he wanted to go, you’d let him go.

“Thanks.” Steve said, it looked like he was searching your face to look for a lie, but came up short. You were genuinely there for him, just like always.

You nodded, and turned to walk back towards the house, the feeling of Steve’s stare burning into your back.

“(Y/N)?” You looked over your shoulder.

“Get in the car.”

You didn’t know if it was because you had already wanted to leave or if it was because of the look on Steve’s face when he said he was okay. But it didn’t matter, you got in the car.

#as always sorry for spelling/grammar errors #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington headcannon #steve harrington reader insert #steve harrington slow burn #steve harrington fanfic

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title I (not we) summary If we could drift so far... pairing itasaku, tobisaku, hot messes

Part i | Part ii | Part iii | Part iv | Part v | Part vi | Part vii | Part viii | Part ix | Part x | Part xi | Part xii | Part xiii | Part xiv | Part xv | Part xvi | Part xvii | Part xviii | Part xix | Part xx | Part xxi | Part xxii | Part xxiii (here) | Part xxiv | Part xxv | Part xxvi | Part xxvii | Part xxviii | Part xxix | Part xxx | Part xxxi | Part xxxii | Part xxxiii | Part xxxiv | Part xxxv | Part xxxvi | Part xxxvii| Part xxxviii | Part xxxix | Part XL (it ends here)

Sakura spotted his car as soon as he had parked outside the building. She lit another cigarette. When she tossed her lighter down, the metallic clang made their prisoner flinch.

Sai turned to give her a look.

“Sorry, sorry,” she said, waving a hand at him. 

She didn’t say anything to Sai. Just sat. Wrist turning as she swirled her wine around. Spewing smoke like she was a chimney. And when he walked into the room, she couldn’t help but crack a smile.

“Daai lou,” she greeted him.

“Jing-Mei,” Itachi answered, smirking in return.

Hong Kong was a big city. It was beautiful. But it was also the loneliest place she had ever lived in. Sakura thought about this a lot- especially when she took taxis. Her fist under her chin as she watched the blinking lights rush past. 

Orochimaru glanced at her. His colored contacts made his eyes an eerie shade of gold- something not quite human. Fingers on his cheek, he called out to her. 

“What’s wrong, Jing-Mei? Was dinner not to your liking?” 

Sakura turned her head towards him. He held out a carton of cigarettes. She wrinkled her nose. 

“Ah, I always forget,” he said, putting it back into his jacket. But then something flickered across his face. And he pulled the carton out again. He plucked out two cigarettes, pushing one into her hand.

“Hold it anyway,” Orochimaru told her. And she did. Because he was the boss. He tucked his cigarette behind his ear.

“So. Will you talk to me?” he then asked. Sakura chewed on her words for a while. Sighing and shaking her head. Until finally, she opened her mouth.

“I feel sad. Do you ever just feel sad for no reason?” she confessed. 

Orochimaru sank back in his seat. Long eyelashes settling over his cheekbone as he thought. 

“All the time, my darling,” he answered, perfect teeth glinting as he smiled.

As the car stopped in front of her apartment, Sakura felt Orochimaru’s fingers touch her wrist. They were so long and cold. He pushed money into her palm.

“You did some great work today. If you weren’t there to translate, I don’t know how pleasant things would have been,” Orochimaru said. Sakura flashed him a tight smile. Just her lips pulling up. 

“Think about what we talked about before. I’ll be waiting for your answer,” he added. And then he released her. Sakura climbed out of the car and hurried up the stairs. Not sparing the limo a backwards glance. 

She slept with the taste of whiskey burning down her throat. Because what Orochimaru called “pleasant” was still four people being murdered in front of her eyes. The smell of blood clogging the insides of her nose each time she inhaled. 

‘Things could be worse’, she reminded herself when she woke in the mornings. Curling up on her side as the halfhearted hangover washed over her. Scrolling through her messages for anything important she might have missed in the night. Deflating just a little less each day as Hashirama remained silent. 

Orochimaru never laid his hands on her. He paid her generously for her “errands”, as he called them. It had only been a few months since she had been given to him by Hashirama as a peace offering. The Chrysanthemum and Jade gangs had been clashing over borders for years. The Dragon Head had warned the two Red Poles once. Just once. To stop fighting. And that was all it had taken. 

Under Orochimaru, Sakura had been officially initiated into the 24K. She had the full status and protection that came with being a ‘brother’ of the gang. And while many still jeered at the idea of a woman in the 24K, Orochimaru’s goons made sure no one gave her too much trouble. 

So far, the Red Pole had been rather relaxed. During the day, she was free to do as she pleased. And at night, she accompanied him to meetings, occasionally translating for foreigners. But most nights, she simply sat to Orochimaru’s right, sipping from her flask and listening to the conversations through the haze of smoke. Trying to hide her boredom behind those swigs.

Sometimes, she would see Tobirama across the room. His eyes blacker than black as he watched her. She never knew what to say to him, so she ended up not saying anything at all.

To fill those empty days, she took to going to Sifu Might’s place to train. She sparred with his other students. Learning to dodge and to weave. But also how to take a punch. She came home black and blue all over. Aching. Leaning against the kitchen counter to spit up blood into the sink before she swallowed the rest down with a mouthful of whiskey. 

The weeks turned to months. And as she stood in front of the mirror, she stared at the lines of muscle forming on her arms. The random stranger she had brought home the night before stirred in the bed. She picked up his clothes and threw them at him, telling him to get out. She was already sick of looking at him. 

Training. Nights with Orochimaru. Days dyed with sweat and nights soaked in blood. Drinking wine with Orochimaru. Learning how to twist someone’s hand to cause the most agony. And learning how to shoot a gun without flinching at the loud bang it made. The cycle went on and on. The holidays blurring into each other, just like the lights that sped past when she was in that limo. 

Every day as gray and pointless as the last. Sinking down and down. Deeper into the scummy layer that drifted just under all the beauty of Hong Kong. 

She remembered the night the Dragon Head was killed. Orochimaru called to tell her that she had the night off.

“If things go well, we’ll be celebrating in the morning, Jing-Mei,” he told her.

And Sakura, who had learned to laugh like him, did just that. Hollow but sweet.

“I’m not even going to ask what shit you’re getting into, Boss,” she snorted. And she had ended the call without a second thought. 

A few hours later, her phone began blowing up with messages. But before she could answer any of that, she received a call. Tobirama panting on the other end. Voice strained.

“Don’t pick up for anyone else. Where are you?” he demanded. The rapid crack of gunshots in the background startled her. And still, he panted, waiting. 

“I’m home,” she answered, looking around that barren apartment. 

“Don’t move,” Tobirama simply said. And then he hung up. 

She didn’t quite know what to expect when he knocked. He slid into the apartment, blood smearing across the door. The smell of gunpowder clinging to his jacket. 

She cursed without cease as she dragged him across the kitchen tile. Propping him up against the cabinets. Wet hands shaking as she tried to take his pulse. And when he swatted her away, she used a dish towel to bind his forearm up. 

She threw her flask at him, listening to him gulp down the whiskey as she scrubbed his blood off her hands. 

“You should go to the hospital. You probably won’t die. But still...” Sakura finally sighed, leaning against the edge of the counter. She felt sick to her stomach.

“You still living in this shithole?” Tobirama scoffed. He got to his feet, swaying a little but not toppling. He grimaced as he flexed each finger. 

“Hashirama got it for me,” muttered Sakura. His eyes narrowed. 

“The Dragon Head is dead,” he suddenly declared. Sakura snorted. Flicking water off her hands, into the sink.

“Sure he is. Are you drunk already?” Sakura retorted. She stepped over his blood to open up the fridge. But before she could get the door halfway open, Tobirama slammed it shut. He cornered her, hands pressed to the cabinets. 

“Fucking listen, Jing-Mei. Orochimaru killed him. And now my brother is going after him,” he said. And the smile slid off Sakura’s face. She whirled around, accusation already in her eyes.

“Why aren’t you with him?” demanded Sakura. 

“Because he told me to watch over you.”

She deflated.

“Oh.”

Tobirama waited for her to pick up. Fingers tapping against the armrest. 

He almost disconnected when she finally answered. Voice low and soft. 

“Wei?”

“You want to tell me why no one has heard from Fai Tsai in three days?” he demanded. 

She yawned. “Don’t know.”

“Don’t fuck with me, Jing-Mei,” he growled.

There was a pause. And then she sighed. He could hear her shifting around. Fabric moving. 

“I really don’t know where Kabuto is. I’ve been dealing with my own shit in Tokyo,” she confessed. 

There was something about her tone.

“What do you mean?” he asked. 

“I met with Uchiha Madara. He tried to drug me. And now the little rat’s nowhere to be found,” she sighed, matter-of-fact.

“What.”

“He didn’t manage to do anything. But that doesn’t mean I won’t,” she went on.

“Jing-Mei.”

"Tobirama.” She repeated back in the same tone. She was making fun of him. And it made it all worse.

“Does my brother know?” Tobirama asked. 

There was a long pause. And then: “What do you think?”

Like an afterthought, she added on, “By the way, don’t tell him. I’m worried enough about the shit going on in Hong Kong. I get the feeling that this is all some kind of trick to get us to turn our attention elsewhere.” 

Tobirama mashed his lips together. Took a deep breath before he spoke again. 

“And you’re fine?”

“Yeah. I’m fine,” she assured him. She said it like a long sigh. 

“Stay out of trouble. The last thing we need is for you to go and get yourself killed,” he told her. 

“Worry about yourself, pok gaai,” she laughed as she hung up.

Part i | Part ii | Part iii | Part iv | Part v | Part vi | Part vii | Part viii | Part ix | Part x | Part xi | Part xii | Part xiii | Part xiv | Part xv | Part xvi | Part xvii | Part xviii | Part xix | Part xx | Part xxi | Part xxii | Part xxiii (here) | Part xxiv | Part xxv | Part xxvi | Part xxvii | Part xxviii | Part xxix | Part xxx | Part xxxi | Part xxxii | Part xxxiii | Part xxxiv | Part xxxv | Part xxxvi | Part xxxvii| Part xxxviii | Part xxxix | Part XL (it ends here)

#eastern suns #writing #itasaku #triad!sakura x yakuza!itachi #tobisaku #triad!au

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5/12/17, 11:11pm - gettin cucked up

me and a particular group of my melee friends have been using the word cuck a lot still and I never really thought about where it came from. Like 4chan probably repopularized the use of the word because I saw that cuckold porn became a really big trend on there, but the way we use it isn’t like cuckoldry exactly, it’s more like getting fucked over, or stood up, or most specifically teased with a promise of a good time and then having someone back out at the last minute.

More on that later I guess. This week’s been so hectic. Wtf it’s only been like 5 days it feels like it’s been weeks already. I’ve restrategized my Get Your Shit Together (4.0) list, and the big three things are 1. pass the RPSGT, 2. get moved out of my apartment, 3. get some surgeries. 

Tony actually wrote my letter for real, so I put in my application to take the test this week! My cpr aed certification is outdated so I got an online one and I’m not allowed, so I have to do a course this weekend and fix that, but otherwise I’m all set. Gotta study hard, I’m pretty fucking pumped to get a raise. Glad I’m not dying for the money rn though, the $500 to take the test and get a new cpr cert would have me stresssssed the fuck out, dude.  No progress on getting someone to take my room just yet, my room’s a fucking mess, I need to do laundry, I’m kinda putting all this shit off for now tbh. We’ll wait until I’ve taken the exam I’ve got vacation this week anyway. And I talked to my dad, who gave me his blessing so to speak to get a vasectomy. I fudged a number that I told him, said that it’s 90% reversible (most numbers say 95% or greater w/in 3 years, about 50% at 10), but with the potential for in vitro fertilization even if the reversal fails I’m sure that’s about right. He told me that my mom had told him that she wasn’t trying to get pregnant for a year or so and then ‘was practically pregnant the next day.’ coupled with how mom was talking about being pregnant at their wedding I can see that lol. He basically told me that he loves all of us a lot, but yeah I would’ve definitely done that because it’s worth it to not have that kind of surprise when you can’t make money for a kid. I definitely can’t make money for a kid right now lol that would kill me. So I’ve already called the doc to get a referral and I’m gonna get a vasectomy. Gotta figure out how much my septum surgery will be too, but that’ll be a lot more -_- Me and dad were catching up for a bit and I helped him get in touch with Dr. Bruce to fix a hernia so he’s gonna be giving me some more money so that’ll help with that too though. Plus I’ll FINALLY be making sleep tech money. I’m so fucking pumped.

Plus basically the past 3 days I’ve Actually just been working. 3 patients a night for the first time this week was stressful as fuck. I mean not exactly. Just time consuming and pretty frustrating. As jimmy said “if you were still trying to get through Zelda you probably would be dying right now.” Made it through fine and that should sweeten up my paycheck just a smidgen.

Still haven’t eaten french fries, but definitely gave up on cigs. Practically like two days later. I was out drinking for Josh’s birthday and smoked a bunch. That shit was so fucking cash omg. I got blackout drunk for the first time in forevvver. Was hanging out with Jimmy, Josh, Ian, Jack, ran around with one of josh’s friends trying to pick up chicks at a bar after smashing beers into our head and shotgunning them. I have a video lol I’ll try to upload it once I have internet. Was trying to ‘flirt with all the ASA bitties’ but got too drunk and ended up boxing someone in Josh’s friend’s basement (w/ boxing gloves) lmfao. Reminded me of middle school boxing Cory Winters and having our little fight club ring lol. Drunk snapped a bunch of people, ian drove me home, it was a great fucking night. Oh and at Josh’s friend’s I ran into one of my asian friends who I could not remember for the life of me. I wasn’t sure if he was a league friend or one of brosciouss friends or a smash friend I was just so lost, but played it off really well (as always) and did jager shots with him. Fuck. Ing. Lit. First time I felt so happy and natural to be drinking in forever, too. Even got to see brett3 for a bit. Nice to be back in chapel hill. Especially when they’re good old drinking buddies like Jack. It’s so strange that I don’t really talk to anybody else from chapel hill, but then again it really isn’t. 

The date with Brianna went pretty meh. We met up and joked around a bunch and thrift shopped and I bought a whole fuckton of new pants to ease the process of spring cleaning and two new sweatshirts so I’m not wearing fuzzy shit all the time now that it’s getting warmer. Ate at Ms. Winner’s and it was some delicious ass cheap fried chicken, might be my new go to in gboro now. But she like barely wanted to kiss me at the end of the date idk what’s up with her, I’ve kinda bailed out since she’s all preoccupied with her family anyway.

Instead ive gone back to what I call my “harem strats” You see, by chatting up as many girls as possible (right now juggling 4-5) I divert my attention and stay aloof enough that I don’t seem like a crazy fuck. Instead I’m just an asshole who’s two timing girls, but yknow fuck you stop judging me.  This girl hit me up on snapchat saying I looked cute in my story and that we should smoke sometime. With the snapchat name Smokeahontas I could’ve sworn it was Kat, so I just go along with the convo. But then I see kat has a diff username and I was like wtfff who is this lol. I didn’t ask her though, just played along and eventually remembered when she asked for my insta that it was this girl I matched with on tinder months ago that I never followed up with (like most of them), probably because I got lazy lol.  Had a sort of date with Jamie, we got some food because she was getting off work, we smoked a bit, but she was like texting the whole time and fuckin bailed out after just an episode of south park to ‘go to the beach with her roommate.’ I still have been talking to her a bunch, but Idk what the fuck is up with that, kinda whack. Super cucked by how that went. Especially because when I walked her out to her car I didn’t even get a kiss goodnight it was this weird lasting embrace like she pressed her cheek into mine to make sure I didn’t try to kiss her I guess, but still held me tight for a really long time, I was like rubbing her lower back hoping she’d like loosen up and kiss me but hooooly shit it all felt super fucking awkward. I’m hoping she’s just really conservative about dudes since she’s such a cutie, but idk. it makes me actually not give a fuck about her. I have a date tomorrow night with the other textiles girl idr if I wrote about her, but she’s cute, going to ncsu. “allergic to smoke” lol I told her I quit. (I mean I had that day before but I lied and said I did two weeks ago hahah goddamn I’m kind of a twat maybe.) Also actually got cucked by smokeahontas. It was like a situation that was too good to be true though, to be fair. She didn’t have anything to do yesterday night and wanted to hang out; when I told her I was stuck at work and said she should just smoke with me in the morning she said she actually wanted to and would stay up all night to meet up with me when I got off. Ofc she fell asleep, and when she woke up she said she wanted to go back to bed, so I flippantly said “well you could always sleep over here.” and surprisingly enough she said she was actually game for that, so our smoke and horror movie date turned into a naptime date. But an hour passed while I was eating breakfast and in the shower so I was like ‘wtf is up’ and she said she got sick and threw up. Figured I was super cucked once more by another flaker, kind of a bummed out, but not as bummed as after the dates with Jaime and Bri both went so poorly lol. Just happily told her we can try again another time, and now she’s saying she wants to do the same plan for tomorrow morning. 

So There. Is. The potential for me to get laid twice tomorrow. Pretty exciting. I haven’t told anyone that I remade plans with her though. RIGHT after I told some friends about how the nap date got planned out she said she was sick. I FUCKING swear that every time I brag about one of my dates I have lined up it falls the fuck through the floor. So I’m gonna try to never do it again. 

Then there’s this other theatre major girl I started talking to yesterday. Talked about horoscopes and transitioned from talking feminism to her (woke as fuck teens smh) into asking if she ate ass (jokingly) into asking if she wanted to hang. Turns out she’s actually a really cool super geeky chick and I’m really excited to spend time with her since she wants to show me jurassic park for the first time and learn how to play melee. Kinda weird that she’s only 18 still though O.o oh you, tyler. 

SO yeah. That’s the sitch with that. Went from supppper fucking bummed a couple days ago about my dating situation into thinking that I’m the shit again. I think I want to establish that “i’m the best” mentality once again. Because I really am. I’m fucking amazing lmao. 

Ultimately though, I’m still getting cucked left and right and I have little to no faith that I’ll find anybody I actually care about ever again but we’ll see yknow. I think that’s the strats to how I fell in love last time anyway.

hmmm. what else is there... Work in burlington is still super shitty, my commute went from an hour to like an hour and forty minutes today bc people in NC can’t drive through a little bit of fucking drizzling. 

Idk that’s about all I’ve got. Next week’s lake week so gonna have to work again in a few days after some date shenanigans and hopefully I’ve got some more good stories and shit.