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#ive complained about this many a time i know
bellysoupset · 21 hours
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Part 2 of Leo's birthday - Jonah's turn.
This was a request from🧋anon!
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Leo was cute when he slept and Jonah was sure this was an objective opinion and not just because he was head over heels in love with the guy. 
He was sprawled on the bed, occupying most of it and snoring softly, shirtless and having already kicked away most of the blankets. Despite the terrible ending of their night, Jon was still counting that as a good birthday. Sure, Leo had puked on Wendy’s shoes and then again on the kitchen sink as soon as they got home, but afterwards he had climbed into bed with Jonah, complaining about a bellyache, and had melted like a golden retriever pup on his lap, dozing off within minutes of getting the belly rub.
That should still count as a good birthday, right?
“Baby,” Jonah crawled on the bed, freshly showered and ready to head in for work, “Leo. Wake up, you’re going to be late for work,” he shook his fiance’s shoulder, “Leo.”
He’d probably end up being late himself at this rate. Leo groaned and swatted his hand away, making Jonah scoff.
“I’m heading to work,” he whispered, brushing Leo’s hair away from his face, “and I’m gonna set your phone’s alarm. Thirty more minutes, then you have to get up.”
“Uhhrgh,” was Leo’s response and Jonah rolled his eyes, doing as he had promised and leaving the bedroom. He had spent too much time in the shower and there wouldn’t be any time to make himself food, but the cupcakes Leo had brought over from work were still in the fridge.
Figuring his boyfriend certainly wouldn’t want them after puking due to too much food last night, Jonah quickly polished off the two cupcakes on his way down to the garage.
As his day progressed, Jonah’s good humor started to tank. Everything felt like too much, his clothes clinging to him, the hospital noise that normally he could drown out without thinking, sounding much louder than usual. 
Around 10 AM, he got a kid wailing down the ER and a distraught mom absolutely chewing the hell out of the paramedic who had just brought him in. Jonah cringed as he realized he’d have to be the one handling this. There were many reasons why he wanted to be a surgeon and one of them was no angry moms hovering about while he tried to do his job. 
He’d take a heart attack any day over a broken leg. 
Mom’s name was Louise and she was not impressed by Jonah’s bedside manner. Her son was named Charlie and he was struggling to keep up, the poor kid’s chin wobbling as he tried valiantly not to cry. 
“Charlie, we’re going to-”
The dam broke and more tears came up. Jonah sighed, resisting the urge to fan himself. It was so warm. He planted a sympathetic hand on the kid’s shoulder, wiping away the tears. It was painful to watch, knowing the boy was only hurting himself more by sobbing like that. 
“You’re okay,” Jonah cooed softly, as the nurse started up an IV, communicating silently with him. There was no way they could wait for oral painkillers to take effect before wheeling the kid to x-ray and that was considering he didn’t make himself sick with all the crying, “it’s just a little poke.”
“Hu-hurttssss,” the little boy continued to cry and Jonah rubbed his back, checking his watch. Five minutes for the morphine to kick in. Louise was patting her foot nervously on the ground, whole body shaking with anxiety. 
“Ma’am, he’s in good hands,” Jonah explained, just to say something. His stomach was starting to slosh uncomfortably, “we’re waiting for the painkillers to kick in and then we’ll go to x-ray, you’re welcome to accompany-”
“Of course I’m going with him, are you crazy?” She scoffed at him, stepping closer and cooing over her son. Jonah resisted the urge to move away, as the kid wiped at his nose grossly on the back of his sleeve and slightly cuddled up to his side. He was getting heavy. 
“There we go,” Jon lowered him against the pillow, “hurting less?”
The boy nodded, his face still all pink and wet with tears, “still hurts.”
“I know, I’m sorry,” he grimaced, signing the kid’s record and jolting down his next instructions, “we can’t give you too much medicine, in case we need to do another procedure. As soon as the X-rays are done we’ll give you better meds,” Jonah smoothed the boy’s hair back gently, “we’re going to move your bed now, okay Charlie? Are you feeling alright?”
The kid sucked in a sob, but nodded and Jonah smiled at him, “nurse Marjorie is going to stay with you the whole time,” he gestured to the much older nurse, who was one of his favorite people in the hospital. She had more than 30 years of experience, was trained for surgeries and tough as nails. “Then as soon as you’re released from X-Ray I’m going to see you again, okay?”
“O-Okay…” The kid’s voice broke and Jonah squeezed his hand in a sympathetic manner, before allowing the technicians to wheel him away, his mother not sparing the doctor a second glance. 
As soon as they were out of sight, Jonah allowed his smile to fade. 
While the interaction had been brief — and Louise hadn’t actually shaped up to be a momzilla, just a regular worried mother — it had been long enough for his stomach to go from “a little off” to “full blown nausea”. 
He felt a weird pressure travel up and Jonah quickly excused himself, power walking to the bathrooms, stripping his white coat as he rushed there so he wouldn’t be so recognizable as a doctor. 
The bathroom, given it was near the ER, wasn’t empty. There were five stalls on each side, the middle of the room had a large slab of stone with a mirror and five sinks on each side of the mirror. No urinals, for which Jonah was very glad.
He rushed inside of a stall and brought his coat to his mouth, muffling a loud, thick burp. Even with the fabric in the way, it was still pretty loud and he was sure others had heard it. Whatever, this was a hospital, he tried to reassure himself, as yet another sickening burp rolled up.
Jonah let out a little moan and lowered the coat, head hanging in shame and nausea. He folded the coat over one arm, slightly palming his stomach under his button up shirt. It was warm to the touch and bloated and the small pressure of his hand on it caused another belch to rush up, this one too expected for him to muffle it. 
It hurt his throat, the acidic sludge of his tummy rushing up with the burp, but he swallowed it down last second. Jonah pressed his forehead to the hard white plastic of the stall’s wall and breathed out slowly, he had to get his body in check. At least finish his ER hours. 
Defeated and knowing he wouldn’t puke right at this moment, Jonah walked out of the stall to wash his face.
The next two hours went like a blur. He tried his best to focus on his patients, but was forcefully reminded by his stomach that it was still very upset every other minute. He had grabbed a plastic cup of water and was sipping on it in between patients, pushing down the thick sweet saliva that kept flooding his mouth. 
Finally Claire came to relieve him, so he could go for lunch, and Jonah could’ve cried. Instead of heading down to the cafeteria or to the many restaurants that were around the hospital’s complex, he went to the doctor’s staff to lie down.
There was coming and going in the place, it was a change of shifts after all, and Jonah reached for his phone inside his locker. He grabbed it, then went to the back room where there were two bunker beds in case they needed to sleep.
One of the top ones was already occupied and Jonah put his phone on silent mode, then crawled on a bottom bed, curling up on his side and muffling another sick burp against the thin pillow. 
He wrapped an arm around his stomach, bringing up his knees and squeezing his eyes as the pressure made his belly feel like it was full with boiling liquid. 
There were texts from Leo and Jonah squinted at the screen, lowering the brightness and struggling to understand what his boyfriend was saying. 
Leo: Gonna call in sick at work, still feeling pretty shitty. Don’t think I overdid it yesterday, just ate something off. 
Leo: Good news! You’ll be happy to know the restaurant we went to didn't make me sick. I got food poisoning at the office :) When I get my hands on Sandy she’s done for.
Leo: Apparently they canceled everyone’s schedule, because everyone called in sick. Isn't that lovely? You bet your ass we’re gonna have a lecture on food handling and what not, can’t wait.
Leo: When are you coming home, my tummy hurts and I want cuddles 🥺🥺 JD is sick of me 
Leo: Jon, did you eat the cupcakes in the fridge? Baby, pls text me back.
The string of texts started at 8 AM and ended just around 10 AM, with one missed call accompanying it. Jonah gagged as he realized he had eaten the poisoned stuff as well and he dropped his phone on the mattress, half sitting up on the bed and trying to figure if he was about to spew or not.
He was sweating. Jon undid his tie and opened the top buttons of his shirt, sitting fully up and cradling his stomach. The whole organ was snarling like crazy and he gulped down when the flipping of its contents made him gag, almost bringing up liquid. 
“Fuck,” Jonah whispered, grabbing his phone, coat and tie and slipping out of the bedroom. He needed a bathroom, not a bedroom- His intestines cramped and Jon froze, shuddering at the sensation. He really needed a bathroom.
At least the doctor’s one was much more private. It still had stalls, but only two and the place was empty. Jonah dropped all his items to the ground, suddenly too restless and panicked to mind how gross that was. He wasn’t sure if he was going to shit his pants or puke. 
His stomach let out an upset whine and then a rush of bubbles went south, making up his mind for him. His hands were shaking as they fumbled with his belt and fly and he could feel his tummy rumbling ominously against his touch. 
He sat on the toilet, then wrapped his arms around his middle, gulping down nervously. The lights over his head felt like too much and he was sweating like hell. 
The runs left him so dizzy he was forced to plant a hand on the stall’s wall in order not to fall off the toilet. Jonah didn’t even bother muffling the sick burping fit that followed, his head swimming. 
Once he finally managed to get out of the bathroom, Jonah stared at his reflection angrily. He looked like hell. Sweat had glued down his tight curls to his temples and was beading over his forehead and mustache area, he looked gray, his lips pale… 
He washed his face and hands vigorously, then took a gulp of tap water and breathed through the sensation of it settling in his stomach like a brick. Jonah checked his watch, then groaned out loud, there was no way he’d be able to last the remaining five hours he still had to go. 
Wendy picked up on the third ring, sounding sleepy. She had the night shift today and Jonah felt bad about waking her up, but not so bad he considered not calling. He wanted to go home, his whole body was shaking. 
“Yeah?” she yawned, “Jon?”
“Dee, can you cover for me? I don’t feel well,” he said, straight to the point. Another yawn. 
“Please tell me Leo didn’t have a stomach bug. I can't get the flu again, I’m gonna cry,” Wendy groaned and he heard her moving around.
“No, food poisoning and I-” he turned his head, muffling a sick burp and gagging over the sink when it brought up some thick, extra sweet spit. Jonah took a steady breath, “I think I got it as well.”
“Fantastic,” Wendy deadpanned, “I can go in one hour, can you handle that long?”
He knew she only lived 10 minutes away from the hospital and that the 50 other minutes were probably to tell Vince goodbye, since he’d be driving back to Doverport. Jonah felt mildly annoyed at the fact she’d be making out with her boyfriend while he was dying, but he also knew she was already doing a gigantic favor by coming in five hours before she needed to. 
“Yeah, I can handle one hour,” he sighed, clutching his stomach. 
“Alright, I’ll be there,” she hung up without further ado and Jonah let out a sigh.
The thing was, he could clock out and then stay in the bathroom until Wendy arrived, but then it would mean his chart would show he had left five hours earlier and Jonah needed all the hours he could get. Whenever Wendy covered for him or he covered for her, they never clocked out. 
So instead of being smart and staying in the bathroom, he forced himself to go sit in his office. 
Normally he liked clinic office hours, but not today. Today he didn’t like anything. 
Jonah was sitting there, with his head in his hands and considering the stupidity of his actions given how badly his stomach was churning and how he kept burping — thank god his door was shut —, when there was a knock.
He glanced at his watch. 30 more minutes, couldn’t be Wendy. 
“Come-” just speaking increased his nausea tenfold and Jonah interrupted himself as he gagged, sliding the trashcan that was under his desk closer and–
The door opened, the person on the other side clearly not realizing he hadn’t finished his words. The little boy from before, now in crutches and with his leg on a cast, still looking like he was in pain and ready to cry, his mother right behind him…
“Fuck,” Jonah groaned, when his stomach gave up on him and he had no choice but to dive for the trashcan as a thick wave of vomit came up. He brought it up to his mouth, to shield his face from view, but still he heard over the rushing in his ears as the woman let out a shriek.
Humiliation only heightened his stomach ache and he coughed, bringing up another wave of overly sweet vomit. It tasted just like the chocolate cupcakes, except rotten. Jonah burped mid retch, feeling more than a little woozy and he fell from his chair, grabbing on the desk to keep from going down entirely.
A lot more noise now and then a hand was in the middle of his back, a female voice ushering his distraught patients out. He prayed the next wave of puke would drown him.
No such luck, his tummy squeezed again and Jonah let out a whimper as he was forced to burp and it brought up some more chunks of his poisoned breakfast. Finally, after what felt like a lifetime but was probably just a couple minutes, he stopped feeling like he was about to hurl and was left panting over the trashcan. 
He was shaking like hell and his stomach was cramping, intestines as well. Everything felt sort of fuzzy around the edges.
“Jon?” Wendy’s voice was like a balm to his nerves and he nearly cried. Instead he let out a groan and pulled back from the trashcan, falling vaguely against her. He heard her let out a little huff as he weight rested on her, but her hand was cold and gentle as it came to cup his forehead.
“Killme, Wen,” he groaned, his words sticking together and she let out a sigh, rubbing his arm.
“Are you done?”
“For now,” Jonah nodded. He knew he was far from done, not only because of the food, but because he felt a new type of nausea mix into his belly. Anxiety, panic, “my patients-”
“It’s okay,” Wendy squeezed his arm, “don’t think about that. Claire took them out.”
“Fuck,” he turned his head and blinked, finally getting a hold of his bearings. They were sitting on the ground, practically under his desk. Wendy had her white coat on and she looked incredibly concerned, “you’re not gonna call me an idiot for not sitting in the doctor’s lounge until you arrived?”
Wendy shook her head, “you’re feeling too bad for me to tease you,” she stroked his cheek lightly and Jonah felt a knot in his throat. He nodded in agreement and leaned forward, planting his forehead to her shoulder, a weird position given Wendy was much shorter than he was.
“I wanna die,” he groaned and she rubbed his back.
“You’re okay, sweetheart,” she ushered him up, “I’ll get their details and you can send the mom an apology card and some fancy wine. It’s not the end of the world, I promise you.”
“Stewarts-” Jonah started to say, meaning his supervisor, who’d absolutely chew him out for this and Wendy glared at him, pushing him along the hallway.
“You couldn’t have known, it came out of nowhere,” she lied through her teeth, “right? You were feeling fine before.”
Jonah cringed, but nodded, buying in the lie, “yeah, I certainly didn’t feel gross for hours beforehand.”
“Exactly,” Wendy pushed him down the hallway, “I’m gonna drive you home, okay? And you’re gonna be a decent patient and drink loads of water and get your boy to do the same, because I don’t want to see any of you in my hospital later.”“Don’t call Leo my boy, that’s weird,” Jonah groaned, but he was feeling overwhelmingly fond of his best friend. He loved this woman so much.
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queer signalling: louis and harry living their beautiful queer lives, collected by me
since we must take note of our fellow queers when they signal that they are very much one of us, despite being closeted. since i've had a very very queer few years thanks to them, thanks to their signalling, thanks to them being brave.
(!! this list isn't exhaustive, and if i've forgotten your favorite, by all means let me know. there's always room for another edition. it's been a while since i made a compilation and felt there was a need of a new one on my blog. this one goes a few years back, since my last one dates from 2021 :'o. so yeah. here we go.)
harry in my policeman, playing a closeted queer man, based on the book that's long been one of his favorites. lauded by the director and co-stars for how well he portrayed this character, how well he understood.
harry wearing a green flower on his chest for the mp premiere, placing himself (once again) in the same line of history as oscar wilde.
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louis's green flowers on his initial 28clothing jersey at the first afhf, which includes bonus roses and 28s all around
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the entire late night talking mv bc!!!!!
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louis's rainbow stage lights during sibwawc. he really did that. every single night.
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the entire dazed magazine happening. “I’ve always tried to compartmentalise my personal life and my working life,” he explains. / “I have unlocked an ability to be myself completely, unapologetically,” he says with conviction." / “I think through my own sense of self and personal journey, I am realising that happiness isn’t this kind of end state.”
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louis's gay exit songs: most notably 'ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've)'
harry flirting with stanley tucci
louis and his gay ass tank tops !!! we must point it out !!!!!!
all along
harry kissing a pride flag during harry's house ono in nyc
rainbow flare during the btm mv
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harry being gifted a mask of his own face at munich n2, which prompted him to say that he feels like he's wearing a mask sometimes
28 in a triangle for 28clothing!!!!!!!!
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kit connor soft launching 28 clothing. a young actor starring in a queer coming-of-age series, who was forced to come out after being accused of queerbaiting. he was the first one, besides louis, to wear 28clothing
harry's grammy's speech "people like me" (which ppl sadly misunderstood), echoing what he's been saying on tour for years. this doesn't happen to people like him. if they only knew, right?
harry's freddie-inspired outfit for the grammy carpet (which also brought back his theme for clown/jester fits, like harryween 2021 n2. wonder why)
louis's merch graphic where a boy is trying to smash a glass ceiling
harry posing for david hockney, actual living legend, gay artist of the ages. "Styles seems to know how lucky he is, adding, with a tinge of disbelief: “I’m in awe of the man with enough one-liners for a lifetime.” As to what those one-liners might be? Styles and Hockney’s mutual silence on that question suggests that what happens in the studio, stays in the studio."
louis having suspicious visuals during back to you, the only visuals of that type on tour
harry's 2022 harryween outfit: dressed as danny (literally. he did that. he went grease on us.) but wearing sandy's jacket
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louis at barricade aka held safely in the arms of strong security personnel
harry singing man, i feel like a woman and still the one with shania twain. while wearing a rainbow discoball jumpsuit (parallel with kacey musgraves wearing a rainbow dress to sing it with him years ago.)
louis's gay ass merch for the away from home festival
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harry dressed in nina ricci by harris reed, an explicitly gender-fluid line. "At 18 I found myself living in london creating ruffle blouses, corsets, fabric flowers and flares from my kitchen floor (...). My creations at the time were met with nothing but criticism for being “too feminine” or “costume”, teachers said I should focus on “menswear” or “womenswear”. l remember it really wasn’t until I started dressing for myself and who I was that it all clicked. @harrystyles was my first ever client who embraced the fun, fluid and expressive clothing I was creating."
continuous bluegreening. to name a few: harry's werchter fit, all this time lights, satellite caps in two colors only, louis's smiley flickering bluegreen on tour in 2022, the james cordon shit, louis in uncasville. enjoy this post here
harry's snl shoot unseens: him as ariel
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louis out in amsterdam at a gay bar
harry going to the women's only swimming pond (on a day it was open for men, but this is important to me okay)
harry's use of orchids in his visuals during 'she' during love on tour '23
the 'hairy mermaid' tour visuals
harry as a mermaid during the mfasr mv. as a supreme physical manifestation of harry as the mermaid he truly is inside. but in his true form he gets chopped up and consumed. literally
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as it was mv and its parallels with the matrix, hints to harry as the woman with the red dress.
louis jumping up on barricade against the one spot where a pride flag was draped over it
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oh yeah that exact same thing happened in 2022 too
harry forming a skirt with a pride flag in brasil after his pants ripped
that gay ass denim getup with the fur collar?? while wearing the fucking peace ring????
harry and phoebe breaking gender norms in the tpwk mv dance. no i'm not over it yet shut up
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louis wearing a basquiat t-shirt, another famously queer artist joining the ranks
harry bought an actual genuine basquiat. flex
harry dressed in skirts for gucci
"happy pride! happy pride! 'tis the season! can you tell i'm relaxed?"
"isn't all of this sparkly bi music?"
satellite mv rainbow planet tshirt
louis's bigger than me promo where he's literally george michael like??? IM SORRY???????
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harry kissing lewis capaldi at the brits
harry kissing nick kroll at the dwd premiere. lol
and... harry as friend of D O R O T H Y. sang over the rainbow. we all cried. especially me at this clip of harry glancing in relief at his band after over the rainbow.
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sonknuxadow · 5 months
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just saw the opening animation for sonic dream team .... why are they wasting all these fun concepts and gorgeous animations and new characters and characters that havent been playable in forever on an apple arcade exclusive game that almost nobodys going to play
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mishapen-dear · 21 days
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genuine question but is there any fandom where a character is well written by the majority. im thinking about fandom culture and the spread of frustration when people dont write characters well but. honestly in all the fandoms ive been in there's only like, a Select number of authors who i trust to write Well, let alone write Well AND In Character. character analysis and writing and getting inside characters' heads are all separate skills (all of which are trained by roleplaying fyi can CONFIRM playing pretend with your friends is good for you). there's been more than once where I've disagreed with an interpretation that others agreed with, and then I turned out wrong. or i turned out right. like it doesnt matter WHO is right it just matters that differences in character analysis exist, so even if you DO write well AND write in character, your in character is still going to be someone else's out of character
there's this sort of. vibe. that to play in the sandbox you Need to be able to make a castle, and if you can't make a castle then you shouldn't bother, and it completely dismisses the idea that youre in that sandbox to PLAY in the first place. there's this Weight of disappointing someone if you can't build something that they like, but that forgets that you aren't there to build them a castle. like, be KIND. if you disagree with someone then please make an effort to do so kindly. i dont give a shit about fandom discourse but there is a reason kids get removed from sandboxes if they keep throwing sand in people's eyes. but if they don't like your misshapen sand pile, then youre not obligated to change it. even if you yourself end up hating that same sand pile later- youre not building a legacy. youre playing. and sometimes the result of that play is out of character drivel. theres a reason there are so many authors and so few who i like to consistently read and thats because everyone is Fucking Around in their hobby space. hash tag brag or whatever but i can build castles. ive built several that im v proud of. ive also dug holes in the sand for fun and then tripped on them when trying to get up. I often dug a hole and then got up and fucking- whoops, its a castle now, and i didn't realize i'd made something to be proud of until after the fact. the whole time while creating shit i was Convinced it was bullshit that didn't make sense. and then other times i was Convinced it was bullshit and then i was Right and i can look back and go. huh. ew. but it doesn't matter what the end result was, because i had fun playing in the sandbox
this wasn't meant to turn into a ramble but i have Feelings about bad art and art that's badly perceived and how public perception can screw with your head and how making art youre proud of is fucking. it's so difficult!!! it's hard!! it's really fun, which is why i try to make it, but i promise you it is Okay to not tryhard creativity. even if you CAN, it's okay not to do it all the time. or ever, even. fuck around find out have fun etc
#NOT a discourse post i am musing out loud#there's discourse goign around the dash rn or i wouldnt mention it#but the past few weeks ive seen a lot of “DONT fucking mischaracterize my guy my fuckign god”#which is one of the most frustrating pet peeve there is#but i think a lot too about little baby me#fresh on her writing journey#and how discouraged i would be if someone pointed out the mistakes id made#i made a Lot of fuckups#and i also think about this one fic where one of the characters was INCREDIBLY out of character#me today would not be able to stomach reading it#but baby me was so ENCHANTED#and it introduced to me the concept that you dont always know the reason someone does something#and it made me read even more#and because of that i eventually found Expert Skill level fics#which introduced me to MANY little tricks and fidgets ive tried to implement#there were so so many reviews on that fic that called it shit or complained about the bad characterization#but a decade later i still think about it#there were several very corny mine/craft horror fics i read#which back in the day would be called cringe#and those were what inspired me to write my first horror fic and now im Enchanted by the whole genre#theres a lot of stuff i dont like to read but i like that other people are enjoying themselves#i dont know how to be succinct i hope my point is coming across well#this ties into my thing where fiction is for you first others later#here are my credentials: bb/h fan since before the elections (hi i was the guy who noticed his lack of armour post elections)#and a cross-fandom comment trend of people going 'woa i can see this happening in canon'#im not talking out my ass i genuinely think its more important to have fun than to write accurate characterization#which. is a more 'duh' and clarifying thing than everything else ive written#but ah well c'est la vie#also also just realized this could be interpreted like that- NOT an attack on people who complain about mischaracterization either lmao#i do that too w friends. this is to reassure people who put pressure on themselves to create things Well all the time
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tittyinfinity · 24 days
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Not excited to go back home and give up the rest of my money in the hopes that someone who took 5k from me will still let me live in the house I pay bills in
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funky-lil-ghost · 9 months
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i’m not exactly the person to complain about this but man it would be nice if accessibility standards were totally normalized. like yeah i can see and hear just fine but what if i prefer to read a video transcript because of adhd or not wanting to turn up the volume on my phone for whatever reason. i scroll past videos i would’ve liked to watch sooooo often cause there’s no transcript.
also IDs r so nice when u have low signal and the images won’t load
obviously it’s more important to normalize accessibility standards because they’re absolutely necessary for making things accessible to the people they’re designed for. they’re just also rad as hell & i wish everyone appreciated them as much as I do cause maybe then people would start noticing how inaccessible a lot of stuff currently is
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bluinary · 3 months
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With no hate to that previous post I just reblogged bc its valid in and of itself:
I get what they're saying, but it's actually *not* like Rick Riordan broke into your house and moved all of your furniture.
It's more like you *bought* furniture and installment services from Uncle Rick's Home Goods in 2008, a lovely niche shop focused on serving our underserved community of neurodivergents. And then, despite your furniture from that time still being exactly as it was when you bought it and billions of exact copies being for sale, when Uncle Rick said, "Hey guys, I'm going to make this same line of furniture out of completely different material, and Im adopting a new installation tactic, but it's going to stick to its general function and purpose," you giddily clapped your hands and said, "I can't wait to see the exact same thing made out of entirely different materials!" Forgetting, of course, that that is literally impossible.
And **then** you came home and found that Rick (whom you left the door open for!) moved all of your furniture slightly to the left. Also he replaced every item with near-identical copies.
"I liked it the way it was very much, thank you!" Then don't get the update, idiot. It is so optional to watch this show. You had to wait a week between every episode. You had to torrent every 40 minute video on a weekly basis, or drive to visit your one family member who won't give up Disney+ anyway. And when things started proving to be different, *you* made the conscious choice to see where things were going. Now you're mad and miffed that it wasn't as faithful an adaptation as The Lion King 2019 was to the original 💀. Coming from an AuDHDer, please understand that your neurodivergent rigidity can only be accommodated so much, my friend. Real people worked hard to make this. Different people from the book's production. *More* people than the book's production. And you know what's crazy is that, despite all of this, some of the tone of minor scenes may have changed, but nothing major truly did. We did it-- we got a faithful adaptation!! If it's not your cup of tea, if your mind's eye just cannot be topped, it's all good. Just say, "this seemed cooler in my head." But oh my god, I'm tired of the Rick slander. The overall crew slander. As if people didn't work their asses off to make this show happen at all. "Rick Riordan broke into my home--" you let him in. *You* watched the show; you let him in and consented to whatever the fuck he was going to do (which...wasn't even much).
If you are scared of coming home and finding your special interest moved slightly to the left, stop letting the author back in through your front door.
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tiberius-kirks · 2 months
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today I'm finally going through my closet and trying on nearly every piece of clothing I own and why do I have so much?? why have I kept so much clothing???
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I cry
and I sob
and I shriek
-can't you hear me?-
and she never responds
she just keeps on going regardless
it may kill us
but I wonder, will she listen even then?
logic's my friend, but never hers
health is mine
but she seems ready to throw it all away
in pursuit of the one goal
that long ago lost all meaning
I've said it's an addiction
I've said it's hell
and we're losing the fight, me and her
if she'd pull on my side we'd win
but she never will
can't she give me a moment
to catch my breath
that's the point
she'll drive us to our grave
without a moment to say slow down
even though every moment is filled with regrets
regrets she'll never hear because we're free-falling
what if we've reached terminal velocity?
can we stop even if we try?
or have we gone far enough already
that we can't back down
can't get out
doomed to this path until it's too late?
this isn't going well
I'm not winning
I need help somehow
but I cannot find the words
and when I do she points out the lies
I think of holding out a hand
of begging for help
and she grabs my hand instead
and then I leave my hand in hers
and let her take me deeper
even though all I see is darkness.
how long, o Lord?
how long must I suffer before she's gone?
we have held together too long
I don't know life without her
but I don't know life with her
only a slow
extended
death
#catkin poetry#personal#puddleglum hours#how long must it be#i cannot bear the thought of reaching out for help because what if its all in my head#but i swear it's killing me#some of the time im desperate and some of the time i just give in and dont care#all day ive not cared except for a brief time when i went and played hte piano to calm down#but right now at midnight i am desperate#i have no tears only terrible fear#i cannot see a way out of this#i cannot see a future beyond this i can only see the same half-life trapping me for days and months and years and#i cannot bear it#and so many people have it so much worse than me so what am i even complaining about#only stupid problems in my own stupid head and id better not clog the system further not unless i really need it#my sister said to get help while it was still not too much of a problem#well jokes on you sister it's gone too far#it's too far gone for an easy fix#and not far enought o warrant help immediately#i dont know what's going on#i just dont know#sometimes its completely fine and sometimes its awful#im just so tired and worn out and empty and wrung out and im afraid so afraid#but of what? i dont know#of missing church on Sunday? maybe#if i can't beat this thing in my head enough to be safe to drive an houra nd a quarter each way then i cannot go#but if i cannot go then that sends danger signals to siblings and i dont want that#if i were a more sensible idiot id not be thinking so and fearing the future so#i dont even want to die right now#i wnat to live
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liamlawsonlesbian · 5 months
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do you ever just rewatch the yukierre sushi taste-test video and marvel that a formula one team would put that on their youtube channel?
youtube
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my dad recently made the mistake of quoting roy's last words to me and had to endure my ten minute obsession-fuelled dissection of the ending and that scene in particular and all the symbolism. and i have come to the conclusion that i need to rewatch bladerunner NOW. ASAP. or i might actually start biting furniture
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#srry for the continued pause in scribbles ive been feeling not very good at all#idk something just broke in my brain after our last sampling trip idk y bc it wasnt that bad but when i got back#it was just a couple days of my brain being real crazy in terms of thought patterns. it still kinda continues to b like that#but idk i haven't had a session of hysterical crying today so maybe im on the mend. its weird i haven't felt this bad in a really long time#i dont even have the energy to complain about it its just no joy. burned streight thru that. bruned streight thru my desire to draw#i mean i still draw every day but its like shitty i dont have time scribbes bc idk it all feels so fucking pointless. and im terrible at#hiding how i feel abt things so my boss is like: maybe u should take a break this weekend i dont want u to burnout. like. lady we crossed#that bridge way back in March. u r speaking to a ghost. i just. i dont kno if i can stay here until like next july at least if not longer#and it sucks bc i kno someday ill look back and this time in my life will make me real sad bc im laying here choosing to make myself#miserable and i somwhere halfway across the country my mum has tumors growing in her abdomen. and i cant go home for Thanksgiving and idk#how long ill get at Christmas. not bc anyone is telling me i have to stay. my brain just wont let me do things. i just lay here in my#increasingly chaotic apartment not taking the steps to get refunded for travel expenses worrying over deadlines and agonizing over social#interactions. worrying about all the things my brain wont let me do that need to be done and not taking the steps to get better#its stupid and annoying and i know its only going to get worse when i have to start taking measurements in the lab#ive at least been practicing a lot of german tho lmao. someday ill look back like: lol remember when u got super depressed and filled the#void with learning german? literally today my dyslexic read the word albeit as aber and it was v disorienting#idk its just fun and i feel like im at least being productive. so yea idk when ill b able to post scribbles again#but i thought id at least post something while i had the energy i accumulated by taking with a happy Canadian lab group#maybe ill join them in a year idk idk decisions decisions and so many applications the cost of which is trying to dissuade me from#getting a tatt0o :-P ay ay ay live a little! pls i beg u. but no prob not. against the rules#unrelated
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masqueradewaltz · 10 months
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i feel like atsv was pandering to the marvel fans a little. itsv remains superior.
#like what was the reason for so many live action references#also in the beginning when gwen was having her Action Movie Opening Chase Scene the one liners were so... marvel core?#like hes behind me isnt he core. which was annoying for me lmfao and i dont remember itsv being like that#also i signed up for a miles film not a gwen film. not that im complaining but when SPOILERS uncle aaron appears and we meet prowler miles#i was like OMFG yes finally. and then. to be continued??#that was the biggest plot twist in the movie tbh. i didnt expect it at all tho i was like ive already been in this theatre for who knows how#long where are they gonna find the time to wrap it all up#and the time is another 2hr movie???#idk i think movies should be self contained#i think they did a bit too much#maybe they should have made a second miles film ABOUT MILES that was complete both in plot and themes closing out a great duology#and this could have been the third film??#like kathyrn han doc ock is still running around ny right.#idk i feel like this movie was very far from the spiderman core values abt saving the little guy#and you could argue that that was the point w miguel trying to stop miles from saving his dad and everything to do with the spider... team#or whatever theyre called idk#but it never really get back to that#bc its not its own movie lmao#in this movie things happened so they can be wrapped up in the third movie#it suffered massively from second in a trilogy syndrome#all that to say i think story wise i was a little disappointed#for a movie i waited 4 years to see#and after itsv i mean i obviously knew they wouldnt really be able to repeat what made it unique but still...#the animation was excellent though#the soundtrack was immaculate#and i think they did a rly good job making all the spiderppl unique and their worlds having different styles#but yeah#itsv
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orcelito · 1 year
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oh i also talked a lot about fire emblem today. specifically whether i was planning to buy Engage or not. verdict is: Probably, considering reviews say the tactics gameplay is really rich & that's like 80% of why i enjoy playing fire emblem. so yes i am not a fan of the character designs. but i will probably buy it. at some point.
i went to gamestop after work to see if i could find it but didnt see it and INSTEAD i saw 2 games for relatively cheap. so i got those instead.
#speculation nation#it's uhhh horizon zero dawn. which ive heard good things about. and tales of arise. which ive known i'd b getting eventually#considering how ive enjoyed every tales of games. & xillia 2 Still is the only game that's made me cry like a baby Twice#reviews seem pretty positive for tales of arise too so tbh more likely i'll play that first.#character designs of party members seem pretty solid too#i also got two sets of dice for a total of $4 so like that's pretty rad. im up to 82 sets now. Woo#i. need to go to sleep lskdjflskdjf#but ya me chatting with my coworkers who dont know fire emblem about different games#mentioning that my fav is still fe echoes bc it is superior in character design. story. map tactics. and ESPECIALLY the music.#but also i'll enjoy a slightly trashy fire emblem game which i KNOW bc i loved fates. genuinely.#it gets a lot of hate & god Knows i can complain about its faults endlessly#but i have a lot of fun with it and i love a lot of characters. So.#tbh so many ppl love three houses but i honestly enjoy fates more. there's a reason ive completed like 4 games of fates#and im still struggling through my 3rd of 4 playthroughs of three houses lmao#the maps are fun but there's too much downtime. & i feel like i Have to use the downtime bc otherwise im losing out on skill grinding#but i dont like fire emblem for wandering around and talking to people. i like fire emblem for playing complex tactical maps#and sure yea i could up the difficulty. probably will have to for my next three houses game to keep it interesting (it is WAY too easy)#but. yeah. back to back battles is probably Also a lot of why i like echoes#no wasting time just puttering around. we're on a WAR PATH. why would we go back to the castle between every fucking mission?#it makes no sense. genuinely.#anyeays uhm. fire emblem. i'll get it eventually.
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lichensbian · 1 year
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i will be honest with you gang. i do not like blaseball gamma
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amildlyspookydeer · 2 years
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*stomps out onto grass and wags cane in air* you kids and your live action remakes of disney movies!!! ooohhh!!!!
#ik i sound like a boomer or a gatekeeper or whatever i just. hate the entire concept of these so fucking much#and i hate being scared to bitch about it and how creatively bankrupt they are bc some of my friends like them a lot#just like im scared to complain about how annoying the MCU and DCU are#but god. god i have not seen a single disney live action remake i enjoyed watching#also the MCU and DCU and star wars are all annoying as fuck and the longer they go on the more and more they are sapped of any personality#and the more by the numbers they can become#im not a film critic im not a genius and im sure as fuck not majorly informed on film theory or making but these movies are all so fucking#boring to me. i wish the people behind them instead 1) didnt do live action remakes of beautifully animated 2d movies and 2) had an end#goal in sight that didnt waver indefinitely to include as many IPs as possible between the start and end of the series AND didn't already#have a plan in place to do a reboot or continuation as soon as that last movie in the story arc is over#every time i watch an MCU or DCU movie it feels so by the numbers and/or attempting to pull in the same success as previous releases#this obviously isnt mentioning how shitty the studios are for treating their workers how they do or how bullshit the people running the#MCU are for insisting on filming in the greenest screen to ever have screened so even the actors dont know what scene theyre acting out#or to mention the racial problems or sexism or anything like that#just how annoying these things are to me. i just want to watch movies dude. i dont want to watch movies with the biggest budgets and the#worst greenscreen ive seen since 2006 because the artists are overworked and not paid nearly enough#this obviously plays into other films as well but the disney live action remakes and MCU and DCU and star wars annoy me the most#im not watching live action pinocchio. im so tired of it#spooky speaks
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