#its fuckin ridiculous bro

[booksbwaybadflower]

googling hyperthyroidism again and learning it's just Fast Disease

#rapid heartbeat #racing thoughts #fast metabolism #tremors #shes got it all #a dramatic reading by cassidy #its honestly comical how many times i get scared bc of a Symptom and then i google it and its like 'possible causes: hyperthyroidism' #at LEAST eight clockable times this year #its fuckin ridiculous bro #have to get a blood test to get treatment tho so 🤷‍♂️ guess ill die

[snowshinobi]

Kyojuro cares SO LOUDLY while Senjuro cares so quietly. same passion, same magnitude, vaaaaastly different forms. Kyo beams like the midday sun, Sen soothes like the breeze ruffling your hair. you're grateful for both. it wouldn't be a beach day without both.

#THEY ARE THE SAME BUT DIFFERENT #I LOVE THEM #demon slayer #rengoku senjuro #Senjuro #rengoku kyojuro #Rengoku #snowswords #snowfire #Kyojuro has never been passive aggressive in his life #meanwhile Senjuro is absolutely hot n cold but its bc he's ridiculously repressed not bc he's playing mind games #they are! the same! but it comes out differently!!!! #i love Kyojuro so much but honestly??? genuinely??? Sen is my favorite brother. I can't help it. i know him. i am him #not exactly but ive fuckin been there bro #my sunny guts boy .... #my mourning dove ... #Rengoku family chaos #this has become my tag for when it's both of them

[dmclemblems]

it’s halfway past 2022 and we still have idiots who insert their ship hate into people’s ship keywords and then go “dimitri and claude are distant cousins and it makes me uncomfortable”

lmfao bro do you have any idea how blood or ancestry works bc this ain’t it

update: found another idiot who thinks “most sources” saying “their related” (yeah, they rly tried to argue about misinformation being spread while saying “their related”) automatically means incest!

newsflash: incest is not a romantic relationship between two people who had a common ancestor 300 years ago. “it was only ten generations ago” is ten generations of thinned blood to the point it literally doesn’t matter anymore, and even less between two guys if “incest babies” is what ppl are worried abt.

also, let’s not forget the fact that this was written in a presumed time period where people died young (which they do anyway in FE), often because of things like war and illness. there were probably more than ten sets of genetics passed on. 300 years = ten generations does not equal ten exactly perfect set amount of genetics being passed down.

#imagine trying to put your hate into people's search keyword(s) or tag(s) #and you can't even argue against it with correct information #you just go oh it makes my stomach turn but the reason you provide for that is not even logical #and is factually false. like. bro. grow a brain before you argue against something first of all #second of all get your filthy vent hate out of people's ship areas why are people so SHITTY #oh boo hoo someone had a distant ancestor 300 years ago so they are banned from a romantic relationship with someone #who was born 300 years after their ancestor #like do you know how many people would be related if that shit even remotely mattered? do you? #do you realize how many people would be related if you thought about every single marriage #every single child every single sibling every step/half relation in that 300 years? #literally fuck off with your bullshit hate that can't even stand up on its own. ppl search for ships to see content #not to see literal idiot assholes go into their spaces which should be a fun space for them #and post their literal shit takes in there. literally started blocking every single person who liked that post #and ngl it's pathetic how many ppl lately have been tagging their hate since Hopes came out #the amount of ppl I've blocked recently has increased tenfold and it's fucking ridiculous #the world is stressful enough why do you gotta go into people's safe spaces and unload your hateful bullshit on us there too??? #y'all wouldn't like it if someone did that to you but you sit around doing it to other ppl. real fuckin' nice bud #yes i am angry at this point lol this is umpteenth time i've tried to look for new content and found someone #putting their hate there instead like no you're not just venting you're putting the full name of a ship in your post #which is going to show up in that ship's searches and yet you didn't even censor it so that it would not show up there #so instead of doing the respectful thing to actually vent on a website that would pick up a keyword #they just don't bother and uwu it makes me uncomfortable that two ppl had an ancestor 300 whole ass years ago uwu #pity my discomfort uwu #bitch if a fictional ship makes your stomach turn and it's that bad you need literal HELP. OFF the internet #last time I was that uncomfortable with a fictional ship I literally needed HELP and wasn't in a good mental state #at least I didn't post my hate for it in anyone's safe spaces. assholes are so fckn tiringgggg #get your ''uncomfortable'' snowflake ass out of people's safe spaces with your illogical hate #also no dw anyone following me it's not you guys lol #DCB Comments

[bibleofficial]

made a mistake & shaved too high so i just …., committed. she’s bald again 😍

#stream #like why does this happen everytime i trim my genitals 😭😭 #i was so careful #but i’ve also nicked myself in a few it’s fine #now like tHESE RESULTS ARE BACK ANY FUCKIN WAY #yea they’re not i sent a message in the patient portal like hi are the results back it’s literally …… 1 test #& they said ‘no when i get them back i’ll upload them’ like BRO NOW IVE TO WAIT UNTIL AT LEAST MONDAY ? #im si annkoyed like bro i had the blood drawn this PAST monday 😭😭😭😭😭 #like it’s planned parenthood in tx …. not like y’all have abortions 😭😭😭 #im SO bitter #no i’m not actually this is ridiculous like …… #it’s been 5 days #& classes begin monday #IM ON A SCHEDULE #let’s get it DONE if i need TREATMENT this is going to be a BITCH to get #like bro i paid out of pocket it’s not like u need to run insurance #ok so thry literally got posted a few hours after i oosted this & its ogod news so :D

[ultram0th]

31 Days of Derek Hale

Day 20: Jock

Info │ 01 │ 02 │ 03 │ 04 │ 05 │ 06 │ 07 │ 08 │ 09 │ 10 │ 11 │ 12 │ 13 │ 14 │ 15 │ 16 │ 17 │ 18 │ 19 │ 20

Derek sighed as he walked into his bedroom for the night, feeling incredibly drained from his argument with Eli. “I just don’t get it,” he huffed, throwing himself down onto the bed in a huff. “No matter what, we just can’t seem to see eye to eye.”

Stiles frowned and ran a caring hand over his husband’s chest. “He’s a jock,” he said. “All his high speed brain can focus on it sports.”

Derek frowned deeply. “I guess,” he growled. “I just wish that I could understand him better. Like, as if we were on the same wavelength.”

Derek lied back and rested next to Stiles, having trouble sleeping due to his fight with his son. He and Eli had been fighting with one another lately, usually due to typically father-son issues, such as Eli letting his grades slip due to his intense interest in sports, which tended to lead to Derek threatening to pull Eli from whatever team he was on that month. His son was a total jock, something that Derek didn’t really experience while in school.

As Derek drifted off to sleep, he felt his limbs tingle, his mind constantly wishing that he could understand the jock better…

The alarm blared, and Stiles sleepily slapped it silent.

Derek stretched his muscled arms above his head, yawning loudly as he woke up. As he moved, his face scrunched up as the stench of musk and sweat hit his nose, emanating in waves from his hairy pits.

Even Stiles could smell it with his dulled human senses, jerking back and plugging up his nose. “Damn Der,” he gasped, “no offense, but you reek.”

Derek felt his face grow warmer as he blushed. “Yeah, Bro,” he heard himself balk in his deep voice, “I must’ve worked up a big sweat last night.” Derek was puzzled over how deep and slow his voice sounded, and the way he’d called this husband “Bro”.

For a brief moment, Stiles scrunched up his brow in confusion, but it smoothed out rapidly as a small grin formed on his face. “Typical jock,” he lightheartedly laughed, slowly getting out of the bed to get ready for work.

Jock? Derek puzzled over what Stiles had said as he got out of bed, his body automatically lumbering towards the dresser. He yanked open the top drawer and paused as he was greeted with an array of jockstraps— his boxers nowhere to be seen.

As if his body had a mind of its own, Derek felt his muscled arms move and snatch up a jockstrap. He yanked the small garment on, the pouch filled to the limit with his massive cock and balls while his perky ass bubbled out the back.

“Don’t you want to take a shower?” Stiles asked, the tone in his voice indication that he’d hoped that Derek would listen to him. 

“Nope,” Derek heard himself scoff, answering without any thought of his own. He even leaned down and sniffed at one of his stinky pits, the musky stench filling the confines of the bedroom. “I’ll be fine. Besides, I’m gonna get all sweaty at practice anyways. So what’s the point?”

Practice?

Derek was so caught up in his odd behavior that he’d barely noticed when he’d opened up another dresser drawer, grabbing a football jersey. He yanked the tight garnet on, noting how his muscles pressed against it, illustrating his athletic prowess. Next, he grabbed some small workout shorts that only came up to mid-thigh and were so tight that his butt and package pressed noticeably against it, almost as if they were on full display.

When he looked at himself in the mirror, Derek inwardly winced at the dim smile on his face. He still looked the same, with his mature and masculine beard that had flecks of gray in it; however, he felt ridiculous being dressed up like a total jock, feeling childish.

His body evidently wouldn’t let any of his inner turmoil show as he lifted up a buff arm, flexing a large bicep. “Damn,” he heard himself say, “I’m getting fuckin’ huge, Bro!”

Despite himself, as Derek flexed in the mirror, he felt his cock start to stiffen within the confines of his tight jockstrap. The pouch tented outwards as it struggled to maintain his meaty cock, looking as if the werewolf was smuggling a summer sausage in his pants. Instead of blushing or trying to conceal his package, Derek felt himself place this hands on his hips and shove his crotch forward expectantly.

“Hey, Bro,” he said, “I’m so fuckin’ horny. Wanna help me out?”

Stiles smiled at his husband, chuckling as he shifted off the bed. “Damn, Der,” he laughed, “that thing’s always cocked and loaded.”

Always cocked and loaded? Derek’s eyebrows rose as new memories filtered into his foggy head, being filled to the brim with Derek being hard and rutting against whatever crossed his path. The stud was always incredibly horny, his cock seemingly rocketing straight to attention after a few moments after cumming. He wanted to blush at the image of himself sauntering down the street in his tight jerseys, his hard cock pressed tightly against his thick thigh for all to see.

Derek’s frantic thoughts slowed down significantly as his husband dropped to his knees in front of him, wasting no time in taking in his full member.

“Oooh!” Derek loudly bellowed, his deeper sounding voice bouncing off the thin walls in the house. “Yeah, suck that cock, Bro. Bet it’s the biggest ya ever had!” The normally silent werewolf couldn’t keep his mouth shut as he was sucked off, moaning loudly and cockily bragging about his cock. No matter how humiliated the alpha was over his uncontrollable behavior, he couldn’t help but bask in the warmth of pleasure that washed over him. All of his panic was momentarily forgotten until all of his ample muscles tensed up. “Uunghh!”

Derek cried out as he came, shooting what felt like the biggest load of his life. He was left spent and trying to catch his breath as Stiles stood up and went about getting ready for his day at work.

“Thanks, Bro,” Derek heard himself say. “I gotcha next time!” Already, at the mere suggestion of sucking off his husband, Derek’s cock plumped up and it took him a few moments to realize that he’d been absentmindedly fondling his hard bulge after tucking it back into his jockstrap.

As the werewolf continued with his morning routine that didn’t involve a shower, he couldn’t help but wince whenever he lifted his arms and his musky stench would waft out from his pits, smelling as if he’d just finished a killer workout at a crowded gym.

Derek walked downstairs and paused at the front door where Stiles gave him a quick kiss. “Can’t forget this, Coach,” Stiles said, handing Derek a silver whistle attached to a small chain necklace.

Derek was confused over both the whistle and why Stiles had called him “Coach” for some reason. However, the confusion quickly vanished when Derek realized that he no longer worked at his auto shop but was instead a coach at Beacon Hills High School. His stomach dropped when he tried to recall the massive amounts of paperwork that were supposed to be waiting for him on his desk at the shop, all of them detailing receipts and parts on orders; yet, now the werewolf’s muddled brain struggled to comprehend what all of those numbers meant. He paled even further when his knowledge of business management wasn’t the only thing gone. In a panic, Derek’s eyes darted around the house and sure enough, simple items seemed to be way beyond his mental grasp. For example, although he’d used it hundreds of times before whatever the hell happened to him, Derek stared at the coffee maker that was in the kitchen, unsure what all of the buttons meant… luckily Stiles was there to help him out since he was such a dumb jock.

Derek inwardly flinched at that last thought, recalling the stupid wish he’d made last night. He’d wished that he could understand jocks more.

Now Derek was a dumb, horny jock.

His days were filled with nothing except working out, playing sports, and fucking. That’s all a dumb jock like him was good for.

Still, Derek put the whistle around his neck and puffed out his large pecs against his tight spots jersey. “Thanks, bro,” he dimly smiled before leaning forward to rut his hard cock against Stiles’s thigh. “You gonna come during my lunch break to help me out with this?”

“Of course,” Stiles said, resting an admiring hand on Derek’s bicep, which the werewolf flexed out of instinct, “I can’t have my big jock going too long without any release. Poor guy would be all pent up.” He mock frowned, a hint of playful condescension audible.

Derek’s foggy mind didn’t pick up on it, and instead he just smiled back widely. “Yeah, Bro,” he agreed in his deep voice, “if I don’t cum at least five times a day, I can’t think well.” He paused at the odd words leaving his mouth, but then the alarm on his phone went off and he perked up. “Oh shit. I’m gonna be late! Love ya, Bro!” He kissed Stiles on the cheek before hurrying out of the house and lumbering towards his Camaro, his hard cock tenting out his tight shorts.

#31 days of derek hale #Derek Hale #stiles stilinski #Sterek #Teen Wolf #muscle #musk #loss of iq #dumber #Jock #Jock TF #Mental Change

[sapphicdib]

Your cycle consumes itself. What have you become?

(ˡᵒʳᵉ ᵈᵘᵐᵖ ᵇᵉˡᵒʷ ᶜᵘᵗ)

SO THIS IS MY INV VS SAINT AU!! It started as a shitpost and uh. Spiralled. Out of control. And now it’s genuine lol.

Enot and Saint are basically mortal enemies, and Saint needs to get Enot OUT OF THE CYCLES in order to continue his work, because this damn horny bastard won’t stop hunting him down…for some reason. Isn’t ascension the greatest gift you can bestow upon the creatures suffering in this barren wasteland? At least Saint thinks that. Inv, on the other hand, does not.

Enot stumbles upon Pebbles while passing through the silent construct, trying to find food one day. He takes a liking to this half-dead pink toaster, bringing him scraps of fabric as blankets and lanterns, and the best part…talking to him. Inv, somehow, can talk to iterators. And despite Pebbles’ very limited ability to reply, he does appreciate the company, and slowly the cycles become less agonizing. Pebbles has a friend. However, when Saint finds him, his immediate reaction is to attempt to ascend him—and he is tackled by a very angry slugcat, hissing and spitting at him in defence of its friend.

When Saint attempts to ascend him, he misses, just barely clipping Enot’s tail and glitching him half-out of reality. He then realizes, to his horror, that his karma seems to be draining. Whatever the hell this thing is, it’s dangerous, and Saint retreats to restore his karma (and heal some of the nasty wounds Enot gave him).

Inv turns back to see Pebbles, staring at him in pure fear, before he simply whispers out a “Thank…you…”. And that’s when Inv makes it his mission to save Pebbles (and everyone else) from Saint.

This leads to Inv running around the map, hot on Saint’s heels, trying to get any and all the iterators to figure out a way to get off their damn strings and LIVE again! Most of them are collapsed or semi-collapsed, so it’ll be an uphill battle, but when a glitchy, teleporting slugcat with the ability to speak tells you to do something…you’d be kinda inclined to do it.

Anyways the reason Enot can’t be ascended is because he is happy to give in to every single one of the great taboos. Wrath, Lust, Friendship, Gluttony, and Self Preservation. He revels in them. And if he can help the others experience them, and become happy with living again, they’ll be immune too! Also he is ridiculously OP to the point of him basically just having DevTools active because I think it’s Funny. He can glitch-teleport and drains the karma of beings around him. He also talks super casually and I think it’s funny.

A little bit of their dynamic hehe:

“Hey, pal!”

“I would like you to stop calling me that, please. You may call me the Saint.”

“Ahah. Not happening.”

“You are incredibly disrespectful.”

“Hey man, I’m not the one calling myself a saint but then running around killing shit and acting like it’s a good thing.”

“You use such vulgar words. I ascend beings, freeing them from the torment of these endless cycles. It is my purpose.”

“Even the ones who don’t want to go? Bro, you don’t even ask. The last robot you almost merked was screaming “no wait” at you, and you still think you’re in the right here? You’re not some kind of righteous saint, that’s called being a fuckin’ serial killer.”

“You do not understand what you are talking about!”

“Whoa, buddy! Are you gettin’ mad? Ain’t that…a lil taboo? PFFT look at your face!”

“I am not tolerating this any longer. Goodbye.”

That’s all I can think of rn! Send asks if you like!

#rain world #rain world downpour #rain world au #rain world saint #rain world enot #rain world inv #my art #rw #inv vs saint au #inverted cycle au #<- new tag! #inverted cycles au

[quodekash]

yeah so im gonna make my silly little commentary posts for we are sometimes but not all the time

he stared at his friend's water and started smiling like a fucking idiot 💀

h2o just makes him giddy like that 🥰

also I genuinely fucking adore Pham and Fang's dynamic, they care about each other so much (I might cry)

I JSUT FUCKING LOVE HIM SO MUCH CAN YOU BLAME ME

im sorry, i cant get over the fact that q fuCKING SANG SOUND’S SONG FROM MSP IN THE THIRD FUCKING EPISODE OF THE SHOW

HES JUST SO SMOL I FUCKING ADORE HIM SO MUCH DUDE

here to pick up his twink

HES JUST SO SMOL THO LIKE CAN YOU BLAME ME???

I JUST WANNA RUFFLE HIS HAIR AND PINCH HIS CHEEKS HES SO FUCKING ADORABLE

i think i just really love satang cos during msp every time sound was on screen i lost my shit and now every time toey is on screen i lose my shit

btw i fully had to rewatch that entire scene, i was entirely focusing on satang’s little adorable fuckin face that i forgot to read and process the dialogue lmao

his expression is like “did you bring me here to do your chores, or are you gonna be honest and just say you want to makeout"

the real answer is just that he wants to spend time with him btu doesnt know how to do that normally 💀

(and also that he wants to make out with him)

WHY IS EVERYONE SO FUCKING SMOL TODAY

HES TINY

HES THIS BIG 🤏

OML IT HAPPENED FOR LESS THAN HALF A SECOND BUT I PAUSED IT AT THE EXACT PERFECT MOMENT

I genuinely adore accidental kiss tropes in bls, its just so unrealistic its fucking amazing

[insert image of phum's friends walking in here (I had to delete some of my screenshots because I can only do 30 and I dont want to do more than one post for this)]

AND THEN HIS FRIENDS WALK IN, CLASSIC

it's so awkward and I am LIVING for it

people in bls always walk in at the WORST possible moments and its AMAZING

THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS SO RIDICULOUSLY FUNNY TO ME

phuwin’s character trying to cook is so me

and also my sister, one time she was making spaghetti bolognese for us for dinner and she put way too much salt, and then to attempt to solve the problem, she put water into the pan to "evaporate the salt" 💀

the best part is I didnt even realise why that wouldnt work until my brother started laughing

anyway, back to the ep

WHAT DRUGS ARE IN THIS EPISODE TO MAKE EVERY SINGLE FUCKING CHARACTER SO BABYGIRL

THEYRE ALL SO SMOL AND ADORABLE AND BBG WHAT IS GOING ON

HES SO TINY

Youre fucking KIDDING

IM SO SUDDENLY INVESTED IN THIS MAIN COUPLE

THAT WAS SUCH A SUDDEN SWITCH BRO

literally last week I was like "yeah okay I like it" and then suddenly im on the verge of tears when they make physical contact???

[insert image of pun eating]

PUN !

MY LITTLE GUY

I ADORE THEMMMMM

oh fuck yes I love this friendship already and it just started

AND CHAIN'S GETTING JEALOUSSSSS FUCK YEAH

they look like tired dads fr

is phuwin just fuckin short or is pond like 3 metres tall cos holy shit

LOOK AT HIM

SMOL BITCHES

EVERYONE'S FUCKING TINY TODAY

woah he really just went for it there

HOLY FUCK HE SAID YES

TAN IS LOSING IT HES SO HAPPY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

great frame

[insert that entire scene with the jump onto him and the holding hands and the FUCKING CHEEK KISS]

HES MY LITTLE FUCKING GUY

HES SO NEURODIVERGENT AND I ADORE HIM

KICKING AND SCREAMING MY FEET RN

he's jealoussssssss

I love pun so much, I truly would die for him

Welcome back to another episode of Toey Thinks Peem And Phum Are Dating (And He’s Right)

Im gonna be completely honest, if pond looked at me like that, id probably do whatever he tells me to without a second thought

thats all im saying

LOOK AT THAT LITTLE FACE

HES SINGING THE FUCKING ABAAB SONG

IM CRYING DUDE THIS IS AMAZING

ARE THEY JUST GONNA SING SONGS FROM OTHER BLS FOR THE QHOLE SERIES? IM FUCKIN DOWN FOR THAT DUDE

this song is so out of winny’s range tho 💀

so fucking SMOL

also chains hand just always naturally rests on pun’s shoulder

literally all the time

what im saying here is I think they should kiss

HE DIDNT JUST GRAB HIS WRIST HERE HE GRABBED HIS HAND ERIJKGBNREJB HOLY SHIT

Cool! 👍

im glad they finally got there

FUCK YES NEXT EPISODE WE'RE GETTING THE SCENE FROM THE PILOT THAT MADE ME LOSE MY SHIT

PUNCHAIN FOREHEAD KISS AND QTOEY CHEEK KISS BITCHES

okay now I just have one final question before I take my leave: what the FUCK was the song playing in the background of the qtoey scene near the end of the episode

it was just electric guitar and I KNOW recognise it but I cant figure out what fucking song it was (literally I finished the episode at like 1:30 but didnt go to sleep til 3 because I was trying to find the song)

so please, if ANYONE recognises it and knows what it is, tell me as soon as you can cos Im fucking dying

update: a moot is pretty sure the song played over other qtoey scenes earlier in the show (the same way msp did with noelm) so now im fuckin PSYCHED for the new song that’s gonna come out eventually

#genuinely want to open a full official bl-tumblr investigation to find out what the song was #quodekash's side couple syndrome boss fight #we are #we are the series #qtoey #phumpeem #punchain #chainpun #tanfang #fangtan #winnysatang #pondphuwin #marcpoon #aouboom #marc natarit #poon mitpakdee #aou thanaboon #boom tharatorn #winny thanawin #satang kittiphop #pond naravit #phuwin tangsakyuen #papang phromphiriya #tee teeradej

[wheatnoodle]

i hate to say it, i hope i don’t sound ridiculous, i don’t think steve owns and wears exclusively polos and that yellow sweater like y’all seem to say he does

bro just write him in a TSHIRT. IT CAN BE PLAIN ITS OKAY. but really? polos and khakis all the time? party boy steve harrington? have we considered that we saw him dress all fancy in s1 was maybe he had basketball shit after school? y’all never saw the guys teams have an away game and need to wear fuckin button downs in the middle of math???

DRESS HIM UP!!!

#stranger things #steve harrington #cricketspeaks #steve harrington headcanon #steve harrington hc #king steve #king steve harrington #you think he got popular wearing a polo tucked into khakis?? are you sure about that?!?!

[lovelyrotter]

I read your thing about stridercest. I didn’t super like the ship (I’m more of a lalondecest girlie) but I respect the hell out of the textual analysis you did. Anyway do you have any good fic recommendations? I want to see what you see in it.

oh fuck yeah i love sharing ship stuff especially with ppl who dont usually go here and vice versa for me. its like hell yeah im digging in sand and its fun i love my sand and then i turn around and woah i had no idea there was even MORE sand just behind me ya dig? that might not have made any sense hahaha. its the joy of trading pokemon cards except with ships

but okay heres some of my current faves. bear in mind i read mostly M and E rated stuff but ive got a sprinklin of lower ratings in here too. im also gonna categorize this list by stridercest flavour. theres a lot so this turned out like ridiculously long

anyone else goin through this feel free to link yalls faves in the replies too cause im ravenous. especially if its haldirk. im constantly craving haldirk

guardiancest

doku line terminus & two steps away from the county line by lildogie these first cause theyre my ultra faves rn and i cant get enough of this au. set in the same universe but county line is the prequel. a/b/o verse with lotsa interesting political stuff and also interpersonal dynamics. dave & dirk are there too and are real cute. its also got mysterious time travelling. i really cant sell these two enough like i am not doin these justice

davedirk / dirkdave

if i woke up next to you by bumbly | G, ~2,700 words, complete. SUPER sweet relationship study, made me fuckin melt. this author has really good stuff for other ships too but mind the archive warnings

dont joke about hentai face broctopus transplants im eating cheese n onion pringles here by smrtnik | M, ~1k words, complete. this one made me fuckin melt its so tender. it truly feels like were peeking into their life together. also great title

Stasis State by Caeslin | T, ~3k words, complete. another really intimate feeling one. its so fuckin sweet. mind the tags for typical dirk suicide attempt but its not on screen its moreso the recovery and how dave is affected by it

“stupid fucking bullshit” ad nauseam by anon | T, 13.7k words, complete. REALLY GOOD AU. trans striders, fade to black sex scene. the boys are cute and you can feel how much theyre drawn to each other immediately. wish there was more of this

sometimes the bad guy wins by nutrimercenary | E, ~7.5k words, ongoing. wow. oh wow. ive been looking for a davedirk fic like this for a long time. PLEASE read the warnings and tags but its so fuckin good. a crossdimentional narrative tug-o-war between dave and ult dirk i fuckin love it

got it goin on by bumbly | E, 7.5k words, complete. dirk indulges daves mommy kink after prying it outta him. its cute and funny and sexy it made me smile. their dynamic is sooo sweet

helping hands by ghostlyAnarchist | E, 5.1k words, complete. THIS IS SO GOOD. its got trans man dave and is genuinely one of the hottest transmasc fics ive read so far and boy howdy ive read a lot. slight warning for dysphoria discussion but its not too bad its all just hot af a dick-sucking venn diagram by Elendraug | E, 10k words, complete. first off domestic af. very established relationship and you can tell. its so fuckin sweet. i looove this one. its like the best kind of silly realistic smut its one of my faves of all time

STILL WITH ME by egbert | E, 8k words, complete. dave and dirk strife and then fuck in the bathroom. holy shit this is hot. their want is like tangible in this one

brodave and a!brodirk

hardware by orphan_account | E, ~8k words, complete. dave gets some dick piercings and bro goes insane about them. hot as hell and also features bottom bro which is my fave. its got a couple uses of the r-slur but its also from 2011 so i take it w/ a grain of salt. 2011 and earlier fics are like internet artifacts (/pos)

but you better never pull it by hapaxlegomena | E, 5k words, complete. wow. WOW. sub top bro and dom bottom dave need i say more. this sub bro activates my cute aggression the power play is great mars & murrie's by orphan_account | E, 6.8k words, complete. a!brodirk, omorashi. super hot!!!! alpha dave is sooo embarrassed about his piss kink but dirk wins in the end hahaha. really intriguing which i know sounds funny on an omo fic but read it and youll know. i love this alpha dave

temporal sunset by Plajus | M, 19.5k over 5 chapters, complete. a!brodirk. holy shit what a ride. this one held me hostage and now lives in my brain rent free (bdum tiss sorry). dirk is terminally ill so i know it wont be for everyone but give it a try and goddamn you wont be disappointed. trust me

a swinging pendulum by ghostlyAnarchist | T, ~900 words, complete. a!brodirk time/dream bubble encounter. wow just wow. the want. the yearning immaterial by LPSunnyBunny | E, 1k words, complete. a!brodirk, trans dirk. holy shit!!!!!! holy shit!!!!! hot hot hot!!!!!!! shower sex sensation control!!!!

haldirk

singular by 2x2verse | E, 6.8k words, complete. hal has an existential crisis dirk catches him and then they fuck tenderly about it. genuinely so romantic. im addicted to this kind of haldirk. honestly i just recommend the entire series diagnostics by 2x2verse | E, 2.9k words, complete. i know i just linked this authors whole collection of haldirk fics but holy crap this one in particular. dom/sub electrostim with sensory deprivation, hal is the dom. i LOVE how hes written here. very attentive domming, great details

A Fatal Error Has Occurred by Mortior | E, 42k words, 4/5 chapters. oh mortior my haldirk regent. really fuckin good character writing in an au where hal has an android body before the alpha session is started. read the tags for warnings. the tension between them is insane endangered by Mortior | E, 100k+ words, complete multichapter. holy fuck where to begin with this one. this is a haldirk sensation. post apocalyptic au where androids won the human-robot war. dirk runs into AR. AR takes an interest in him. dirk takes even more of an interest in AR. if youre gonna read any haldirk read this one

"im basically fucking him" series by Elendraug | T & E, all complete. so!!!!! fucking!!!!! tender!!!!! really cute haldirk progressing through their relationship

ridiculously late by cinnamonfreak | E, 21k, completed multichapter. a/b/o au where dirk suddenly presents. REALLY intriguing hal in this one i fuckin love the power play

roboporn by smrtnik | E, 3.9k words, complete. really fun power play in this one. hal is waterproofed externally but not internally. he gives dirk a handie over his open chassis torso. theres also really sweet snuggling afterwards

#stridercest #guardiancest #davedirk #dirkdave #haldirk #my t #fic rec #theres so many whoops HAHAHAHA #this ask made me really happy though im glad my post caught your eye #like that made me so jazzed

[afunfunkytime]

I HEAR YOUR SCREAMS MY BELOVEDS

mwah. kisses your forehead. slow blinks. ily.

have some juice<3

nebraska: sweetheart. hes so cute. everyone loves him. himbo to the max. nobody really remembers he exists but hes happy to be there. has a dried corn cob in his pocket. why? idk. the epitome of he's confused but he's got the spirit. drinks an unhealthy amount of koolaid.

nevada: cheer team. wears full makeup to school every day. how does he have time for that. literally flawless. cant count to 10 though. nobody knows how he can hold a pen with his long goddamn acrylics. uses shakira songs as motivational quotes. says a weird amount of words with ussy endings. nevs alarm is him singing about damn time but its just aesthetically yelling ITS ABOUT DAMN TIME TO GET THE FUCK UP. outfit is literally perfect every day. uses ridiculous amounts of hairspray. lush FIEND. uses an obnoxious amount of gel pens. failing math but his notes are almost as cute as him.

new hampshire: gay. pretends hes civilised and a functional member of society. actually unhinged. rich as fuck parents. reads textbooks for fun. has a fancy looking dog. dresses like an old money equestrian. probably plays polo. what a loser.

new jersey: greasy. part of the garden club. pretends he isn't. refuses to admit he likes flowers. a total fucking nerd even if he pretends he hates school. straight a's. gym bro vibes. smokes in the bathroom and sets off the fire alarm way too much. probably listens to andrew tate. uses an entire can of axe body spray every morning. its like tear gas as he walks down the hallway. contributes to 47% of greenhouse gas emissions.

new mexico: dude has a whole feast in his lunchbox. he shares with everyone except colorado. will fight people. very scrappy. we love him. fucks up all these other bitches in spanish class. likes acting as a wizard at any opportunity he can. he strikes me as a band kid. owns 14 pet chihuahuas and he loves them dearly.

new york: pretends he ain't a theatre kid. everyone knows he is. also has rich as fuck parents. hes giving wears designer clothes that look exactly like regular ones. he bursts into song when he's alone in his bedroom. its giving 2008 taylor swift vibes. wishes he owned a cape. tries to hit new jersey with his car. has a rattail.

north carolina: country boy my beloved. football is love football is life. has a secret love of pirates. can often be found rambling to random people, despite this he is horribly socially anxious and is rambling because he cannot make small talk. very friendly, nice guy, often shows new people around. he's trying to work on his social anxiety. brought an opossum to school in his bag once. south carolina acts like hes 12. southie thinks it's funny to tell him he has school on days off. north falls for it most times.

north dakota: hockey player. nerd. wears glasses. constantly dressed for cold weather. carries around his books like he's the main character. does a lot better in school than south dakota. quieter. nice guy though. pushes up his glasses a lot in that nerdy way. pretends he and south aren't related. despite the fact they are almost identical twins.

ohio: unfunny class clown. his jokes are oddly specific and mildly disturbing. the ultimate band kid. he plays everything. can often be found standing eerily at the end of dim hallways. does not know what homework is. blinks too much.

oklahoma: wears cowboy boots everywhere. claims he's not a cowboy. also pretends he's not a theatre kid. can't fuckin drive for shit. got banned from running track because he kept getting disqualified for running before the starting signal. smh oklahoma.

oregon: there are no books in his backpack. just monster cans. hasn't slept a day in his life since he started highschool. he does those tiktok interview thingies with random people. most are classmates. hes a tryhard. gay as fuck. drinks a Terrifying amount of caffeine.

keep SCREAMing, my feral little rats. ily all. we're almost done. idk what to do when I finish this.

#ben brainard #welcome to the statehouse #welcome to the table #wttsh #wttt #the table

[magicrainbowkitties]

Hey so friendly reminder that yeah it's dangerous and people will kill over it, but at its core bigotry is actually very fucking silly. Goofy even. Stupid and shameful and deserving of ridicule and clowning.

Like wow you really think that people who have a different skin tone than you aren't actually people, and in fact that it's the "natural order" of things for you to at worst own them or at worst subjugate? Bro wtf is that shit. Like literally they disprove that shit by. Existing. How do you convince anyone when this is, bare bones, the argument. Clownery.

Oh, trans women are actually men pretending to be women so they can... *checks notes* attack "real women," trick men into sleeping with them, and groom children? And trans men are "lost lesbians" being tricked into "giving up their fertility?" WHAT!? Do you people even hear yourselves?

Let's see... oh my favorite! Apparently, according to the rising tide of the alt-right, the best way for humans to be governed and organized is to kill, convert, indoctrinate, and/or otherwise do away with those who think, look, act, or speak differently than the way a handful of people (who have not met and never will meet a grand majority of those under their power) think they should be. For real? Omfg fascism is literally disproven by the simple fact that LITERALLY NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON ON THIS PLANET THINKS THE SAME WAY. It's so inherently foolish that I have to wonder why people want it so bad.

These issues in our world are, obviously, multifaceted and complex, and pointing out that they're silly is not gonna fix the issue overnight. It is also important to remember that vulnerable people have been, are, and will be killed for these ideologies, and fear of them and the people spewing them are entirely warranted.

But it's also important to remember that these vulnerable and marginalized people just wanna live their fuckin lives. And they're being denied that because some clown with too much money and power is being fucking stupid because the idea of being around different people scares them.

That. Is. SILLY.

And when confronting these bigoted beliefs, when fighting those who cannot be persuaded, it is important to remember that 1, shame is a powerful tool, and 2, they're fucking idiots who don't wanna change because they've never had to.

#lgbtq activism #lgbtq #antiracism #anti facist #anarchy #anti capitalism #fuck you and your nonsensical horseshit

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

Alternate AU: Winter Break 1998

Adam and Jonah take a job in Mandela County, one taking place in the abandoned Heathcliff residence.

TW: character death, blood, gore, body horror

Notes: Hey. Second fic. Pretty neat. Really appreciate the response to the last one by the way (even if it was a while ago.) this is a bit over 5000 words, so a little shorter than the last one, but still a little long. Hope you like it :)

February 14th, 1998.

Snow cloaked the ground on the sides of the road, burying the grass and dead leaves as snowflakes fell to the ground slowly from the cloudy sky.  Standing alone next to a forest was one simple sign, reading “WELCOME TO MANDELA COUNTY” in bold, green letters. Snow stuck to the metal, making its message hard to read, though it didn’t go unnoticed. The sound of tires rolling on the pavement grew louder as a grey car sped past it, heading into Mandela County while also disobeying the speed limit.

“Ugh…finally.” A man groaned when he saw the sign before taking another drink from the can in his hand. His silver hair was swept to the left side, with its black roots being visible. A white sweatshirt cloaked his torso, itself being partially covered by a black leather jacket. He was leaned back in his seat, staring forward at the road before him. “Why don’t we get the easy jobs? I mean, we have to drive all the way to fuckin’ Mandela County, and for what?”

“Dude, it’s just an hour and a half drive bro.” The driver spoke up. He was dressed in a raven black hoodie, which had yellow lettering on his chest that read “BPS”. His curly, caramel colored hair was messy, poking out from underneath his hood. His hands gripped the steering wheel, being covered by black fingerless gloves. He glanced over at his friend with a slight sneer. “Don’t tell me you’re scared already, Jonah.”

“What? Bro, no.” Jonah claimed, scoffing slightly. “I’m just saying that the others always get the in-town jobs, and we have to bust our asses just to get some money.”

“Yeah, because they’re the ‘leaders’ and get to choose what jobs they do.” The driver stated.

“Yeah, and it’s just kinda dumb.” Jonah said. “I mean, Adam, how much to you want to bet that Seth would’ve flipped on us taking a job without him knowing?”

“Oh, I don’t have to bet anything,” Adam replied. “I know he would’ve just been like, ‘why didn’t you tell me this’ or ‘why are you doing that’; I mean, it’s fucking ridiculous. He’s a total nutcase, dude.”

“Though…do you think we should’ve at least told Sarah where we were going?” Jonah asked.

“And have her snitch on us?” Adam chuckled slightly. “Hell no.”

“Alright.” Jonah said, taking another sip from his energy drink. “…Hey…what even was the job again?”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Like, I know it’s about some like…ghostly apparition at some abandoned house, but what did the person want?” Jonah asked.

“I don’t know, but what I do know is that we’re getting 15 hundred bucks just to housesit for a night.” Adam said with a smile. “I mean…we’re fucking set for a while, dude.”

“But don’t you think it’s kinda weird that they…didn’t tell us what they wanted us to do about this…ghost?” Jonah questioned.

“Does it matter?”

“…Kind of, yeah, considering we’re driving all the way out there.” Jonah said. “I mean, what if it’s…like…an alternate or something?”

“Yeah! What if it is?” Adam echoed, excitement bubbling up inside him. “Seth would flip his fucking shit if he thought we were on an alternate hunt, but come on dude, this is our chance!”

“Did…you take this job just to get back at him?” Jonah asked.

“Do you really think I’m that petty?”

“I’m not saying that—”

“Kind of, yeah. The guy needs a fucking wake up call, to know that he can’t keep bossing us around.” Adam stated. “But just…the chance to see an alternate do its thing…almost no one has been able to do that.”

“Yeah, because they all die, Adam.” Jonah said, leaning forward slightly as he stared at Adam, his eyes showing more uncertainty than before. “If this is some alternate shit, I don’t want to be a part of it.”

“Come on, we’re not even there yet.” Adam said. “Besides, it’ll only be for one night. You can survive one night, can you?”

“I fucking hope so.”

 When they finally made it into town, the noticed the lack of activity. Streets were oddly empty, though the two chalked it up to it being a cold winter evening. Christmas decorations were already up in the windows of the locals, along with the occasional lawn ornament. The festive décor and feel didn’t stop the strange feeling of dread from swelling in Jonah’s chest. Adam appeared unaffected by the eerie mood that Mandela gave, so Jonah decided to try and be unaffected by it too, despite it just getting worse the closer they got to their destination.

They drove down a street, passing by increasingly empty looking houses, with the Christmas lights becoming sparse. Soon they passed by a small line of leafless trees, finally being face to face with the house they heard about over the phone. It was a dull grey color, with most of the paint peeling away underneath the blanket of snow concealing it. Its windows were blackened, and its driveway barren. It was only two stories tall, but the feeling it gave Jonah made it almost feel like a skyscraper. Adam pulled the car into the driveway, leaving fresh tracks in the nearly foot deep snow.

“Alright...we’re here.” Adam said, unbuckling his seat belt.

“Wait,” Jonah lightly grabbed onto Adam’s arm before he opened his car door. “I…I don’t know about this place, man.”

“What are you talking about, it’s fine—”

“It just…feels off.” Jonah stated. “Don’t you feel it?”

“…No.” Adam said, almost sounding like it was a dumb question. “It’s literally just an empty house, bro.”

“Yeah, but a freaky empty house.” Jonah said, making Adam shake his head with a scoff.

“Alright, fine. I’ll go in.” Adam said. “You can stay out here and twiddle your thumbs while I actually do the important shit.”

Adam opened his door before stepping it out, slamming it shut behind him as he walked in front of the car and towards the front door of the house.

“…You don’t have to be shitty about it.” Jonah muttered as he leaned back in his seat.

Adam stared at the door, his hands in his hoodie pockets before he grabbed onto the door handle. To his surprise, the door was unlocked, as if the owner didn’t even care about home intruders. Either way, Adam was just happy that he didn’t have to bother with lock picking. Jonah watched as Adam glanced back towards him, a wide smirk on his face before he closed the door and disappeared into the house. Jonah slid further down his seat, his arms crossed over his chest. He wasn’t sure why, but he was feeling dread creeping into his mind. Adam better not drag his feet; Jonah was starting to have the inkling that the one and a half thousand dollars wasn’t worth it.

Adam’s flashlight shone across the dark living room, hitting the dusty furniture and the walls, which had cracked picture frames hanging on them. A couple of them depicted two teenagers hanging out, and in one they were wearing Halloween costumes. “Hmm. Hey, Jonah?” Adam spoke into his radio.

“Yeah?”

“There are these photos, of like...two boys.” Adam said, sliding his bag off his shoulder before taking a camera out of it. “They look like they were friends or something.”

“…Okay…?” Jonah responded. “Anything else?”

“I dunno…though they’re all…cracked.” Adam pointed his camera towards the pictures on the wall, snapping a photo with a bright flash. “Wonder what that’s all about…and who these people are.”

“I think you’re looking too far into things.” Jonah said. “I mean, who doesn’t have family photos in their house? Aside from us, of course...”

Adam wandered around the house, seeing the state of disarray it was in after nearly a decade of stasis. He walked past the couch and the small table beside it, which had a rotary phone resting on top, covered in cobwebs. Adam stared at the phone for a little while before his hand grabbed onto the phone, pulling it off of its hook as the webs came apart from the table. Adam shook his head slightly before putting the phone back down, wiping the grime on his hand off onto his jeans.

He turned around, seeing a stairway in the dark corner of the room, leading to the second story. The closer he got to it, the colder it seemed, even colder than the frigid living room. “Going upstairs.” Adam spoke into the radio.

“Oh…alright, just…be careful.” Jonah warned.

“Yeah yeah…” Adam muttered to himself as soon as he put his radio back onto his belt. He walked up the steps, finding himself in a small hallway, devoid of light until his flashlight hit the door at the end of it. He stopped and looked around at the walls, noticing that they were completely barren. The light bulb on the roof was shattered, as if it just exploded at some point. Adam stepped over the creaking floorboards before reaching for the door knob. As soon as he grabbed it, he pulled it back in shock; it was as cold as ice, as if he just put his fingers in the snow. He then breathed in deeply before gripping it again and turning it, though the door appeared to be locked shut.

“Hey Jonah, there’s a locked door here.” Adam said.

“Yeah? What about it?”

“It’s the only one in here.” Adam stated. “You brought the lock picks, right?”

“Uh…I think so, yeah.” Jonah recalled.

“Alright. I’ll be out in a sec.” Adam put his radio away, turning before walking down the dark hall. As he approached the stairway, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up, as if someone was standing right behind him. He swung around, shining his flashlight into the darkness, seeing nothing but the dust particles floating in the stagnant air. He stared down the hallway for a few moments before leaving down the stairs, a bit quicker than he did before.

 “So uh…what was it exactly?” Jonah asked, back pressed against the side of the car as Adam rummaged through the cluttered trunk.

“I don’t know…it was like…” Adam paused. “You ever shut the lights off in the basement and run up the stairs because you have this…feeling that something is chasing you? It was like that.”

“…Huh…” Jonah scratched the back of his neck. “And the door?”

“I don’t know, but I need to get through.” Adam said. “Something’s gotta be behind it, you know?”

“Adam, I really don’t think we should—”

“You said you brought the lock picks.” Adam interrupted, standing up straight as he stared into the trunk.

“I did.”

“Well, look.” Adam gestured towards the many boxes in the car. “You see them?”

Jonah took one brief glance into the junk. “…uh…no?”

“Fuck, Jonah…” Adam groaned. “God damn it…”

“I’m sorry; I thought they were already in there!” Jonah claimed.

“Did you even look before we left?”

“Look, they’re not there, okay?” Jonah said as Adam sighed deeply. “Does that mean we can leave now? The suns almost set, it’s getting really fucking cold; we should head back before the others start getting suspicious.”

“Jonah, I know you’re scared, but I really feel like something deeper is going on around here.” Adam said. “I mean…this house; some shit is going on here, I can feel it.”

“I know, that’s the problem—”

Jonah and Adam’s attention were drug to the house when the sound of screams erupted from inside. Jonah jumped back slightly, hearing the sound of what sounded like an entire choir of horrid screeches, though Adam seemed to be unfazed. If anything, a smile was forming on his face.

“Oh, fuck this.” Jonah rushed to the passenger side door, reaching for the handle before Adam grabbed his arm.

“Wha—Jonah, come on, we can’t leave now!” Adam said.

“Dude, we need to get out of here,” Jonah responded. “I mean, did you hear that shit?!”

“Yeah!” Adam said with a half chuckle. “Things are starting to get interesting; I’m not leaving until I see what’s going on.”

“Are you fucking crazy?” Jonah questioned. “You’re not fucking invincible, dude—”

“Who knows, maybe I am crazy,” Adam responded. “But at least I’m doing the job we’re being paid to do.”

“Adam, please—”

“I’ve already made up my mind.” Adam stated. “You can be a pussy all you want, but I’m going back in.”

 Jonah felt the air get colder as he stared at the house, waiting for Adam to talk to him on the radio. The sun had disappeared below the horizon, making the sky appear to be a dark void above his head. His face stung from the cold as he pressed his crossed arms into his chest. It was oddly quiet, as if the town was completely dead. When Adam eventually did call through the radio, it nearly startled him.

“Jonah, you there?”

Jonah fumbled with his radio as he brought it up to his mouth. “Uh, yeah! Yeah, I’m here, what’s up?”

“I’m in the kitchen right now…and the fridge is still…stocked.” Adam glanced at the closed fridge from afar. “Everything’s rotten…but no one even bothered to throw everything away, like this place was abandoned in a hurry.”

“Adam, I really don’t like this.” Jonah said.

“Can you stop complaining for more than five seconds?” Adam said. “I finally get the chance to go on a job alone, and you’re barking at me the entire time.”

“You get a chance to—Adam, we’re supposed to be working together!” Jonah said.

“Yeah, and you’re doing a piss-poor job of holding your end of it.”

“Look, can we…please just leave?” Jonah begged. “Like…let’s get a fucking pizza and go home, I’m getting hungry and cold out here.”

“Ugh…you know what? Fine.” Adam said. Before Jonah could feel the overwhelming relief from hearing that sentence, Adam continued. “But I need to get into the room upstairs. Something about it…it feels like it’s calling me.”

“Calling you?! And you don’t see anything weird about that?” Jonah nearly shouted.

“Jonah, I’m trying to compromise; I’m going to try and unlock the door, and if it doesn’t work, we’ll leave, and if I can get in, we’ll get out of here the second I’m out.” Adam sighed. “…You happy with that?”

“…Fine.”

“Good.” Adam put his radio away, rolling his eyes as he approached the stairway once again.  He slowly crept up the steps, the chilly air hitting his face as he found himself in the upstairs hallway. He stared at the bedroom door, his light hitting the chipped paint and strange dark-colored splotches that stained the wood. He took in a deep breath before grabbing onto the frigid handle. To his surprise, it turned, and the door creaked open ever so slightly.

“Huh…what do you know…?” Adam muttered as he pushed the door open further. He saw the window adjacent to the door first, and the faint light bleeding into the room from it. He walked inside, seeing the nightstand resting next to the wall to his left. A shattered television was resting on it, and pieces of garbage and old, mildew-ridden clothes surrounded the base of the wooden drawers. Just by looking at it, it was clear that whoever lived in there didn’t care about cleaning much. However, after Adam got used to the smell of mold and mildew, something else stung his nose. He turned towards the rest of the room behind him, and his excited smile was ripped away from his face.

The white sheets on the bed was stained with dark crimson, dried and coagulated from years of festering. “What the f…” Adam shone his light towards the closet door in front of the foot of the bed, seeing a large splatter of the same red substance, along with a small hole in the wood. Bullet casings littered the floor next to the bed, and only one rested in the large splotch of blood that stained the bed.

“W-What…w…what the fuck, what the fuck.” Adam hurriedly pulled his radio up. “Jonah, are you there?”

“Yeah, is something wrong?” Jonah questioned, noticing how shaky Adam’s voice was.

“I-I…I think…this is a crime scene, dude.” Adam stated, his eyes fixed on the blood stains. “There’s…there’s blood…everywhere.”

Jonah shook his head, muttering something to himself before yelling into the radio. “Adam, that’s fucking it; get the fuck out of there!” Jonah pleaded.

“No, I…I can’t…” Adam muttered, “Not yet.”

“What the hell do you mean?!” Jonah yelled.

“I’ve finally found something, I just need to—”

“Listen, if you don’t get out of there now, I’m leaving without you.” Jonah stated. “And I…I don’t want to do that, but please, just think about it for a second!”

Adam barely heard the message, as the signal abruptly became very weak. He wasn’t paying attention anyway, as he saw a glimpse of something under the bed. He crouched down slowly, his hand reaching for the object before he drug it out from under the bed. He stared at it for a moment, feeling for the first time in a while a sense of overwhelming dread. It was a pistol; its barrel stained with blood along with the rest of everything in the room.

Adam dropped the gun before turning to leave, only to freeze in place when he saw a figure in the doorway. Adam’s wide eyes stared at the figure as his flashlight flickered, making it hard to see whoever, or whatever, was there. Adam could barely make out that the figure was wearing a blood-stained pale grey sweatshirt, along with pink sweatpants. His face was nearly completely enveloped in darkness; a void behind a cracked face like porcelain. A gold cross hung from his necklace, hovering in front of his chest weightlessly. He seemed to be slightly shorter than Adam, though the fact that he was hovering above the ground made it appear otherwise.

Adam was silent, pondering whether he wanted to ask it a question or run away. There was nowhere to go, and nowhere to hide, and as the flashlight shut off, Adam realized that his decision wouldn’t have mattered. The figure in front of him already made the decision for him.

“Adam, can you hear me?!” Jonah yelled into his radio. When static was the only response, he groaned before pacing back in forth next to the car. “Adam, I swear to God, please—”

The sound of shattering glass nearly startled the skin off of Jonah’s bones, coming from directly behind him. He swung around just in time to see Adam falling from the second story window, as if he was thrown out. His screams were haunting, and Jonah swore that time slowed down as he careened towards the frosty ground. Jonah knew that with practice and skill, one could live a drop from the second story without injury, though he knew it wouldn’t be the case with Adam. Adam was falling head first.

The screams were cut off by a loud snap, echoing throughout the night as Adam slammed against the ground. Jonah instinctually looked away, hearing the sound of faint gurgling and cracking before slowly turning back to see what had happened. “Adam…?” Jonah whimpered, seeing Adam’s body on the ground, twitching. His neck was bent completely to the side, and one of the arms he used to try and protect his head was snapped in twain. Blood spat out of his mouth, and his wide, terror-filled eyes stared straight ahead, almost looking directly at Jonah.

“…A…ADAM!” Jonah cried out in horror, tears streaming down his cheeks as he stumbled backwards, his back hitting the side of the vehicle. “Adam…oh god, what the FUCK!” Jonah scrambled towards the driver’s side door, swinging it open before jumping inside. He whimpered to himself as he started the car, backing out of the driveway before speeding down the road.

As Jonah fled, the broken figure floated in front of the window, which was shattered from Adam careening through it. He watched as the cars taillights disappeared down the street, his one eye fixed on it as it drove away. His hands curled up into fists, shaking as he felt his own rage build up inside of his hollow body. “…You…COWARD!” He shouted, his voice accompanied by a city’s worth of screams, echoing throughout the night.

 Jonah whimpered to himself, hyperventilating as he sped down the dark road, with what little visibility he had being dampened by the falling snow. He couldn’t stop crying as much as he tried, sobbing as he frantically tried to figure out what he should, or even could do. He was barely processing all that had happened; it all went wrong at once, giving Jonah no time to react. As he drove out of town and down the empty highway, he shook his head, slowing the car down before pulling over to the side of the road.

He glanced up at the sign on the side of the road, which rested near a small forest on the right. “Thank you for visiting Mandela Cty, WI. Come again!” was written in faded text, as if it had been there for a while. Jonah shakily grabbed the door handle, stumbling out onto the slick street as he stared at the relatively small, snow cloaked wheat field on the other side. He crouched down, staring at the ground with his hands gripping his head as the cold air stung his nose.

He had no idea what to fucking do. He had no clue what he could do. The BPS HQ was still miles away, and with no reception, he couldn’t contact the others. What would he say when he got there? Oh God, what could he even say to them? Would he tell them that they went on an investigation by themselves, not even bothering to tell anyone? Would he tell them that Adam was dead because of their own negligence? How would they react? Jonah’s mind was swimming in circles, unable to think of a single coherent thought. He didn’t know what to do. Adam was dead, and Jonah felt deep in his bones that it was partially his fault. He left him there, not even bothering to help him.

He sighed shakily and deeply before he stood up, running his fingers through his hair as he gathered his thoughts. He glanced behind him at the car he was leaning against before reaching for the handle. He pulled on it, but it didn’t open the door; it didn’t even move an inch. He pulled against it with all his might, but it remained still. “What…what the hell—” He was interrupted when he saw something in the corner of his eye. He turned from the car back onto the road, freezing in place when he saw a figure around twenty feet away. He was glaring back at Jonah, his gaze feeling as though it could puncture Jonah’s soul.

“…Shit…shit, SHIT—” Jonah ran towards the wheat field, the figure simply gliding over the ground after him. “LEAVE ME ALONE!” Jonah pleaded, glancing back as tears streamed down his face. To his surprise, the alternate was no longer there, as if he had disappeared. Jonah slowed down for a moment in the middle of the field, his feet buried in the deep snow. He frantically looked around, wondering if his prayer had actually been answered. However, when he felt a presence directly behind him, he figured out that his pleading fell upon deaf ears.

“You…coward.” The alternate growled as Jonah hesitantly turned to face him.

“P-Please…I didn’t do anything…” Jonah cried, wondering when the figure was going to kill him.

“You left him behind…” The alternate droned. “He’s DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!” Jonah covered his ears as a cacophony of voices screamed at him.

“Let me go…please…” Jonah begged.

The figure leaned away for a moment, raising his cold, blackened hand towards Jonah. Jonah was sobbing, staring up at the weightless man in front of him, expecting him to end his life right then and there. Instead of that however, the figure remained completely still. Jonah realized he was scratching his own neck as he prepared for death, and soon he felt his skin become increasingly itchy, like he was covered in bug bites. He scratched harder at one place near the front of his neck, with it becoming increasingly red and irritated. His chest and forearms began to follow suit, as they started to feel inflamed and uncomfortable.

“Wh…what…?” Jonah muttered to himself, pulling his hand away just long enough to notice his fingernails were beginning to be stained red. His neck and arms were scratched raw, bleeding down the thin claw marks left from Jonah’s feeble attempt to relieve the discomfort. It didn’t seem like the scratching was helping at all, as parts of his skin were only becoming increasingly dry and irritated. “What the fuck—?”

A sharp pain suddenly hit his face, causing him to stumble back and groan slightly. He lightly touched his cheeks, with them stinging at the slightest touch. It felt as though his skin was being sliced open with a newly sharpened scalpel, and as Jonah looked at the blood slowly running down his arms and collar bones, he realized that it wasn’t just his face that was being cut. “What the fuck, what the FUCK!” Jonah rolled up his sleeves, staring at the two thin, parallel lines cut deep right next to his elbow, wrapping around his arm and up his bicep. He touched his neck, feeling two similar lines running up both sides of his face, all the way up to his eyelids. Blood was beginning to stain his white sweatshirt and drip onto the snow below as Jonah stumbled backwards, unable to understand what was happening to him all while the figure in front of him gave him a cold, unfeeling glare.

As if it was pure impulse, Jonah couldn’t stop scraping himself with his nails, despite the increasing stinging pain he felt rushing all over his body. His mind was racing, his memories becoming increasingly foggy as he began to yell and cry out from the pain. As he scratched at one of his arms, he suddenly felt a strong searing pain, feeling his finger drag something away from his arm. He looked down at what he was doing before he felt his heart sink to his feet. His fingers had stripped away the skin all together, revealing the muscles underneath.

Jonah had run out of words, and all he could do was scream as loud as his vocal cords would allow into the night air, ripping his hand away from the rapidly bleeding wound. However, the flesh just simply tore off by itself, and soon he could see the bones in his arm. He stared at it in pure horror before feeling a similar searing pain in his other arm. The muscle and skin was falling off of him, and soon the searing pain spread across his body as strips of skin peeled off like bandages. His cheeks were stripped away, revealing his jaw and teeth along with the underside of his eyes. He didn’t see what else was being torn off of him, as he felt his eyes roll up into his head and his face slam against the cold snow below him as he lost consciousness.

 Jonah figured that was it. He accepted that he was a dead man; killed in a horrifying way that would make medieval torturers shed a tear. However, when he felt the cold snow pressing against his body as he regained consciousness, he realized that he wasn’t as lucky as he thought.

His eyes flipped open, taking a little while to adjust to the darkness around him, only broken by his car’s headlights next to the road. His entire body was in unbearable agony, and blood was seeping into his clothes and into the ground below him. He stared at his arm, which was resting right beside his head, seeing that it was nothing but bone, held together by thin strips of flesh. The bone however appeared to be a pure black color, like a silhouette. Jonah’s face felt like it was burning, and his body felt as though he was barely put together. The figure appeared to be gone, so despite the sheer agony he was in, Jonah had to make it to the car before it came back.

He shakily pushed himself up with his arms, but couldn’t rise to his feet. He tried to get up, but his legs didn’t budge. He slowly turned himself around to lie on his back, feeling his exposed spine come in contact with the cold. He sat up slightly, trying to move his legs, but not even a twitch came from them. He couldn’t feel them anymore, as if they didn’t even exist. He was paralyzed from the waist down, no longer able to walk. He fought the urge to scream in both pain and mental anguish, not wanting to let the alternate know he was still alive.

He cried, feeling his tears hit the exposed muscles underneath his eyes, but he no longer cared. He laid on his stomach, beginning to drag himself towards the road with his skeletal arms, every single movement making his body cry out more. As he slowly drug himself to safety, he noticed something hanging off of his wrist. A few thin strings were tied around his wrists, running slack on the ground before going straight up. No matter how high he looked, they only seemed to go forever, disappearing into the darkness above. Jonah nevertheless pressed on, crawling closer and closer towards the light.

He continued to move the best he could before he felt a small tug on his left wrist. He glanced towards it, noticing that the string was slowly becoming taut, raising up into the air. The same was happening with the right arm as well, with Jonah slowly feeling panic bubble up inside of him. When he felt a small tug on his neck, he realized that not only were his wrists tied, but his neck also had strings around it. He saw as the strings began to pull at his arms, raising them into the air.

“No…no…no no NO NO!” Jonah resisted against the force trying to pull him up, but whatever was on the other side of the strings was stronger than he could ever be. He felt the strings around his neck tighten, and soon, he felt himself be taken off of the ground, his paralyzed legs dangling below him. He felt as though he had a noose around his neck, and the strings around his wrists dug into them like barbed wire. He could no longer move, as his arms were forced to be stretched out to the side, like a living marionette. He kept rising into the sky before stopping, and when he looked back up, he saw the figure, his cold stare still fixed on Jonah’s feeble form.

“W-Why…? Why won’t you just…just fucking kill me…?” Jonah croaked, unable to raise his voice.

The figure stared at him silently for a moment, before his inhuman voice began to speak once again. “I can’t kill you yet.” He stated. “I have a job for you.”

#shmorp writes sometimes #mandela catalogue #tmc #tmc alternate au #jonah marshall #Adam Murray #alt Jonah #alt mark #tw character death #tw gore #blood #blood tw #body horror #face horror #all written but still tagging because it can make people uncomfortable #but yeah. Jonah’s terrible awful no good very bad day #I’m not as proud of this as I am about the last fic I posted but I still think this is pretty decent. good even #i don’t know. hope you guys like it.

[yandere-monoma]

should i be insane and start the kill your masters commentary now

i am gonna be insane and start the kill your masters commentary now

hi this will contain spoilers for the killswitch au which imo is fine because i have no intentions of writing it in its entirety so HSJKFGFG

god. rose strider.

rosie rosie rosie rose strider UUUUUUGH.

fun fact i actually attempted to go off about all this weeks ago but tumblr deleted the fucking draft but now im drunk (or i was drunk when i started this at 1am and now its fuckin noon LMFAO) and trying again so LET'S GO!!!!

so. actually. my iteration of rose strider was first sparked after reading BGB by MermaidMayonaiise oh god bless tf out of them

like, guardianswaps is an ancient concept in the fandom so it's not like i've never considered her or any other strider kid before but GOD. this one line from BGB absolutely blasted through my soul:

You never knew her, but a Rose Strider would have been a killing machine. Considering the multiverse, she exists. Just not in any timeline that matters.

as i lovingly say in the comments of that fic, i literally copypasted that line to every hs friend i know. it drove me crazy

it'd still be a couple of weeks (months?) after reading that fic that i actually conceptualized her, though. rose strider was born via the homestuck renaissance chat which i will reference 6738459634563456 times in this commentary because killswitch would not exist without it. the renaissance chat went off with a million and one headcanons about a million and one different guardianswaps and my impulsive ass couldn't help but actualize them in some sort of written form, complete with ridiculous long ass plot and even a couple of sburb sessions that i'll never write cuz it'll take me years. like. the ideas were just so good.

ironically, our first official swap we discussed was actually john strider, who i hopefully will get to at least allude to in the next iteration of killswitch, along with dave lalonde (WHO I FUCKING LOVE AAAAA), jade egbert and rose harley... then we actually discussed jade before i finally revealed how insane i was about rose strider rose rose rose rose ROOOOOSE

from that first initial outline to the first chapter of kym, it took about two months of plotting and dragging through drafts which is CRAZY cuz it rly does feel like time has fucking flooown by. a lot of that time was also dedicated to the first installment of killswitch, which got interrupted because the third chapter of kyd got tragically deleted and i've never recovered and i only recently healed past the hurt enough to start to rewrite it. god. trauma.

anyway.

before i get to the first chapter, i wanted to talk about rose's initial concept as a strider and what it meant. as i've said 738596356 times already, nature vs nurture was how i approached every placement within the au. it was very important to me to blend every character with who they initially are in canon and who their guardian's influence turned them into. this made for an incredibly fun process that lent itself to a pretty easy formula characterization-wise.

for example, rose strider's excessively extreme experiences with self-harm are born of rose lalonde's early act 1 habit of engaging in empty suicide threats towards her mother. i took that tendency to act out and cranked that fucker up to 11 because there is nothing passive aggressive about how bro raised dave.

every killswitch character features this pairing blend approach to their writing. jake lalonde, for example, inherits roxy's hyperactive silly energy, though he lacks the grace, ease and confidence to carry it out without stumbling. however, rose is especially special because i wasn't just trying to blend rose and dave. because of rose's identity blurring motif, i had to build her up using elements of rose AND dave AND dirk AND, most importantly, bro. that made her, honestly, really fucking hard to write because i still wanted her to be recognizable enough, while still sounding like a carbon copy of bro, simultaneously perfect and flawed all at the same time. and, ngl, it's super interesting to me, the way she deviates from the formula and refuses to follow the easy pattern i followed for literally every other character in the au. it's just so fitting for her to fuck with the meta like that JSKFG

anyway LETS START READING

fucking with the commands was actually a last minute choice done right at the very final edit. so much of the narrative fuckery that happens in kym is very on the spot, lots of last minute decisions that start with the impulse of 'oh shit yknow what'd be cool' and end with a big ole internal ramble of what it could all ~represent~

in this case, i thought this was nifty, i've been using this same one fuckin glitch generator for YEARS at this point: but also, i think it was a fun way to allude to her classpect, even though it's never really discussed outright

yeah see this was actually supposed to be a description of her room but in the very last draft as i was cleaning it up i saw this section that i still had to write and went nope. JHSKFGSDFG which is hilarious to me because doing so literally transformed how i approached the rest of the piece. originally this chapter really was supposed to just be a pretty direct copypaste of act 1, but god. GOD i'm glad it isn't. i've had so much fun with this style and it's so amusing to me that i have laziness to thank for that JKGFG ah yes the creative process

facts about john harley and his first conversation with rose!!

i suck at chumhandles and enlisted help from the renaissance chat for a lot of them. other handle options suggested to me at the time include: garrulousGallivant, groovyGallywag, galleyGaffer, giddyGelogenic (this was in second place to me i rly loved it sob)

(rose's handle was incredibly easy in comparison, largely because i hardly put any effort into it. i just wanted something suitably edgy and what could be edgier than naming yourself after genocide HJGKF)

his initial character premise:

the hardest part about starting the fic where i did is that there was just so much imagined backstory for rose and so little time to actually get to detail with it. the purpose of the first few pesterlogs with john and jade was to establish something that honestly i don't think got as much spotlight in the fic as i would have wanted: the fact that rose strider is a compulsive liar who actually tries her hardest to seem normal to her friends, both out of habitual manipulation and out of a subconscious urge to escape her life. it's an attempt to sprinkle her with the void traits that she clings to at the beginning of her arc (guess what her classpect is >:3) before embracing what she really is, but damn. if i could have, i would've written 100k of cute casual conversation with rose seeming like the sweetest most thoughtful friend in the world, only to reveal what she's really like

anyway! we get to see her make up a life for herself first through john, as she lies about going to school when ngl i don't think she's been since like. idk. the 3rd grade. GJKFLGS

this is always an interesting pesterlog to reread remembering how much i fucked with rose's dialogue jesus christ. i did NOT want her to sound like herself in the rougher drafts. she was honestly just a straight up blend of bro and dave, very casual, very ramble-y, however at the last second, i incorporated a touch of her usual more formal vibe/dialogue. again, because i was blending four different characters rather than two, it was difficult to find a balance i really liked. i definitely got there eventually but. hoo.

ro-stri originally used to copy the punctuation of anyone she spoke to. there are still aspects of this in the current draft, rose plays along and sprinkles more exclamation points in than usual to match john's hyperactiveness despite the fact that she feels like roadkill atm. however, in the end, i thought it was a little too subtle and wanted her to have a more uniform sound to her, rather than disappearing into anyone she encountered.

john harley thinks the funniest possible thing to joke about in the world is the fact that he's pretty much a feral kid who has never touched humanity and thus doesnt know the most basic things. he does this 9356354963 times a day. he loves playing dumb. in truth he's experienced a Lot through movies but sometimes he simply cant resist the urge to pretend he doesnt know what a fork is. jsdkfgsfg he was such a delight to write, jesus christ.

despite rose's attempt to fade into the background a little, all of her friends depend on her massively to fill a hole in their lives, which she ends up using to further manipulate and control the topics of their conversations. for john, he's just so incredibly hungry for what life in the real world is like. so rose fabricates a normal school life for him. and she's not even doing that for him. it's completely coincidental that they both just desire the same thing of each other and ngl i really adore and am fascinated by their dynamic. johnrose fuckin sneaks up on me i SWEAR.

rose calling herself a bishounen is the first hint of her weird gender fuckery. it is a hilarious hint that i'm so very proud of cuz it's so dumb HAHAHJKFS

john's flirtiness towards rose is inherited by (epilogue) jade's sexual promiscuity and slight pushiness towards the people she's attracted to. it also just seemed like so much fun lmfao it rly snuck up on me as i was writing and i couldn't help but go all in once i realized what was happening. like, john really does just find one bad joke (usually at someone's expense) that he really likes and does it over and over and over and OVER cuz so much of the joy for him is knowing that he's the only one fucking laughing and that everyone in the vicinity wants to throttle him. but they can't :P

someone tell me why :B emojis are so cute. the very first time i went >:B as john harley i went oh no because i fell so hard at that point HAHA

jade lalonde!!

can you believe this is the first time i've ever written jade in my life jesus fucking christ

other chumhandle option: tipsyTurvey

rose's canon handle is a pun that fucking murders me every time i acknowledge it and i desperately wanted a cute pun for hers. i am bad at puns. i am so very bad at puns. telekineticTactoe is the first pun i've made in all my decades of living. i am so proud of her fucking handle jesus christ GHJFKGS

something that's fun but also agonizing about pesterlogs like these is, again, i don't really get the chance to explain things. so much show, so little tell, which works out great for the narrative but makes the part of my brain that built up so much of the world pout so much. so i never actually go into detail about the fact that the 'update' jade is working on is to a webcomic that she has picked up and abandoned 87593456 times. this is seen more in her later conversations but one of jade's whole shticks is that she has tens of thousands of hobbies and she can't commit to a single goddamn one. she is absolutely CRUSHED by how much she wants to have a perfectly successful career like her mom. everything she tries just isnt perfect enough and it frustrates her endlessly. she is so so very cute i love herrr

it is SO fun discussing the lalonde issue through someone who is earnest and honest about their feelings and who airs them out the second they feel them. it's so fun to interpret some of the issues rose perhaps had with her mother, while also just poking at issues i think would have just. always bothered jade because of the type of person she is. she is going to be an incredibly fun perspective to write through the rest of the au and i rly hope i can figure out a way to focus a fic on one of her iterations one day

jade having a having a habit of traumadumping and rambling was supposed to be a play on just how excessively wordy rose can be. idk how much that shows (people associate rambling way more with dave imo) but either way it was super fun to write

rose's manipulative streaks are more obvious here. jade is incredibly vulnerable and rose jumps at the opportunity to attempt to further isolate and pit her against her mother. she's doing that completely out of habit, too. she has no malicious plan behind it all, it passes the time and it keeps jade close and that's really all she wants. she can see the way jade suffers under the weight of her work and she makes up her own stressful worklife, just so that jade can relate to her more than she can relate to the others.

DAVE FUCKIN EGBERT LET'S GOOO

the first words uttered about dave eggy in the gc:

and what his character ultimately turned into:

there is so much to say about dave i love him i love him i love him let's gOoooOooOOo

first off, i wanna explain why he's an egbert rather than a lalonde, since swapping the strilondes is way more common:

dave lalonde would have taken up too much screentime which would not have worked for the fic/verse. he is. god. an INCREDIBLE and fascinating specimen that i need to specifically write 100k about and pairing him with someone like ro-stri would just be a disservice to either of their stories. they simply can not exist together in a way that i would find narratively satisfying because they both just take up too much SPACE. GOD!!!

dave egbert is just cuter LMAO.

i am a dirty dirty multishipper and making him an egbert means i get a version of johndave and a version of daverose all at the same time

(and this doesnt even also allude to the fact that john strider and dave lalonde are also a hugely amusing dynamic like i rly needed the homophobic af angy boy paired with the darling excitable lil femboy ok

but really, my approach to dave is this: as much fun as tragic backstories are, sometimes a really fascinating narrative can be watching someone getting actively traumatized in the present for the very first time. being a bystander to someone you love's suffering, the survivor's guilt of not being the abused one, the overwhelming stress of being someone's sole confidant, the way it feels to be crushed by codependency and forced to witness unrelenting suffering when you are so woefully unprepared to provide proper support. dave just being a normal boy in an incredibly toxic relationship with his first love is just. GOD. so fun to me. so so fun it's honestly one of my fave decisions coming into the fic

there's also something to said about the fact that dave finally gets to experience normalcy and familial love at the expense of his sister taking his role in the narrative. there is a point in the au where the killswitch characters (who i also refer to as the 'zeta' kids) are made aware of their canon counterparts and thinking about what dave eggy will think about dave strider is SO exciting to me

anyway, again: this was a hard pesterlog to incorporate. i needed a quick summary of their dynamic and a quick summary of both of their characterizations: dave egbert being dryer, quieter, more withdrawn and blunt with his words, rose strider being abrasive and quick to anger and almost sadistically playful in the way she immediately seeks to tease and degrade her boyfriend. i also needed to show this without making rose the most unlikeable character this side of homestuck HGJKFGGS. fun fact, so much of how they talk to each other and exist in general is based on the fact that i think both of them just, like. fuckin LIVE on 4chan. rose is a 4chan troll while dave is just, like, a lurker. and i do wish i could have showed that more and showed even more of both the cruller kinds of dialogue rose can dish out and the more weird/fond/playful parts of their dynamic, because to me rose is the type to just constantly drop slurs and insult people and speak in a way that's designed to shock and horrify people and dave was her punching bag as much as he's her stuffed animal, and he's just so in love with all the ways she overwhelms him. he has so much fun trying to just desperately keep up with her and it all just creates this intense atmosphere that he's absolutely addicted to.

like, it's tragic that her talking like this never shows up in the fic itself but alas. alas, alack...

anyway

HOW CAN I FORGET HOW FUNNY DAVE'S HANDLE IS TO ME dave making his whole personality around himself being a npc is so funny to me ok godhjskfg

There is no excusing what must have occurred the previous evening, but there’s no point trying to contend with what happened. 

considering 'what happened yesterday' is a big huge plot point in chapter 2 i'll leave it to the chapter 2 discussion but just know that this is one of my fave part's of rose's characterization that i ALSO mourn its lack of focus in the fic. i think it's present enough but UGH i wish i got to write it so much MOOOORE, DAMN!

🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

there were so many versions of this line and this introduction in general HJGKFGS happy with what i settled with

this section was hard because, again, had to quickly establish all the things i wish i could have spent time just slowly building up. i do enjoy how the final product looks, though. one of my favorite styles to utilize is a very compact, slightly minimalistic type of prose that leans

lil cal as a corrupting force is one of my fave hs things in the world it drives me insane to think about, so it was incredibly fun deciding that this was one of the biggest and most important differences between dave and rose is that dave fucking hates lil cal but ro-stri is not scared of puppets :D she loves them :D

When you sleep, if you sleep, your gaze never breaks from his, and you spend your nightmares drowning,

rose having an eternal staring contest with dream cal amuses the hell out of me especially thinking about dave going to derse just to watch in horror. it's also another aspect of that internal soul flaying she keeps forcing herself through, trying to create a perfect ouroboros between herself and what bro has been turned into. trying to fuckin speedrun through her own corruption

gurgles blood.

this next section about all the ways rose attempts to cope with her trauma was so nervewracking to publish. a lot of parts of this fic was but jesus christ. was really worried i'd get flack for a few of the ideas that got tossed out there, but i couldn't remove them even despite that anxiety. there is such a specific vibe to the 00's that i really wanted to incorporate into the fic... just, how it felt to be an absolutely insane teenager, always overwhelmed, constantly abused, and gifted with unadulterated unsupervised internet access to do terrible AWFUL things to. i wanted to depict it because it's what i relate to, what i've experienced, what i've seen and heard from others.

it's also just generally rly important to me to sprinkle darkweb references into as many of my strider fics as fucking possible cuz i know those boys LIVE on it LMFAOHJGKFG

In reality, you have no hobbies your brother hasn’t given you.

short but important: the fact that rose just does not get the opportunity to start creating her own personality like dave does was very important for me to highlight, though it's also not necessarily true. since the narration is filtered through rose's perspective, and rose is the one that is so adamant (especially at this part of the story) that she is a perfect clone of her brother, she skips past the experiences she has where she's strayed from bro's influence.

the end of this chapter was a very fun escalation that i'm very satisfied with. ahh, my killing machine 🥰❣️ how i adore you... now that i think about it, i forgot that originally i really did just want to make a quick oneshot summarizing all of my thoughts on her. as i was writing, the ideas got bigger and bigger, the hcs spiraled more and then my friends in the chat [shakes fist] dropped a huge BOMB of a plotline right into my lap that forced me to extend it way past its original plan but ughsjfgdfg i'm so glad that they did because this is a story that i'm so incredibly proud of godddjksfg

AND THAT'S CHAPTER ONE, STAY TUNED FOR MORE

#fic: kill your masters #director's commentary #meta #rose strider #verse: killswitch

[zerozerozio]

your heavy headcanons were so cute like omg omg okay now I know you probably get this question a lot but do you have any lee ones for medic? he’s precious

first of all sorry i took so long to do this!!!!!!!! im a rather busy man, mwomp :( and im so glad you like my heavy headcanons!!!!! but anyway, oh my GOD okay this man. and a warning ahead of time, i am heavymedic trash and there is a decent amount of that in here.

this man drives me insane, im telling you. he drives me up the wall in the best way.

while writing this i sound like a maniac in my head, im bouncing all over the place writing this nonsense down. there will be more of these sort of posts likely, this is just the first one. idk if i can get everything down in one post Hh.

So. Lee Medic. in this essay i will

overall hes a ler leaning switch. ler leaning bc hes not close with many people in a way where he feels particularly comfortable being vulnerable, but is happy to tickle other people (and he doesnt necessarily mind if they get him back, but many people would be too intimidated to do that.) with people he's close to cough heavy cough, he actually really enjoys it. being playful and letting himself act childish is really therapeutic. plus the sensation itself is somewhat fascinating. hoo!

he is a silly guy, we know that. he is SO very silly. for personal reasons hes also very sensitive. like he told me himself guys trust me

his laugh??? HAVE YOU HEARD THAT SHIT?? ITS SO WJANZHJAJZHSGS. FREAKING ADORABLE!! The fuckin "hooh hooh!" CRIES /POS???

Also, nervous laughter King. He's giggling before you even touch him. this goes for non tickle related situations as well. he can be seen doing a little "aheh" anytime he is a bit nervous in canon material. so naturally, it is reasonable to assume the more nervous he is the more he will giggle. back him into a corner and start wiggling your fingers at him and giggles just bubble out of him what a Guy

He will try to hold back his laughter due to a combination of being flustered, trying to tease the ler, and just out of reflex. he can't do it for particularly long though. plus he doesnt really want to, laughing is fun for him!

if he doesn't want to be tickled, he will say so clearly. whether he isnt in the mood (which doesnt happen often but it does sometimes) or he doesnt feel comfortable with the ler, he will easily tell you to Stop. and he means it, he doesnt look flustered or anything in that moment, remember he is still a dangerous mercenary and not the most sane individual so just do not push him outside of his comfort zone. and in general, he doesn't really like being touched by people he isn't at least somewhat close with, so he naturally wouldn't like it if they tried to tickle him.

touch is a very complicated thing for him. neurodivergent alarm wahh!!! remind me to talk about medic autism headcanons in general because as an autistic person, trust me. anyway not to project too much but tickling as a stim? like hes all happy and excited talking about some ridiculous experiment that went well to his Bro™ Engie, and he just skitters his fingers along Medic's sides and riles him up further. science friends, good stuff.

okay i have more to say but this is Long jdhahsjs let me know if anyone wants to hear more but as one last thing i will say his ears may or may not be ticklish and he will shut his eyes and chuckle softly if heavy kisses him there

#bryn's headcanons #tf2 medic #sfw tickles #sfw tk blog #sfw twords #sfw tickling community #medic tf2 #tf2 #heavymedic #red oktoberfest #engineer tf2

[pollstuck]

-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

GG: yo yooooooo!!!!!!! TG: whoa ok hey GG: so youre finally playing the game with flighty? TG: yeah TG: but she wont answer me GG: shes probably just exploring im sure she will come around soon.... GG: but its great that you got her out of there in time!!! TG: pretty much you have no idea how much i fuckin own at this game TG: i bested no less than three flaming tornados and broke a huge wizard GG: so how does it feel to be a BIG TIME HERO GG: mister braveybrave mcheropants TG: it feels like TG: i am in sports TG: all alone TG: and i am the star TG: its me TG: and then the big man comes GG: hehehe GG: but it turns out to be CRAZY what kind of basket ball this man plays! GG: ummmm...... GG: the HOOP IS ON FIRE... GG: ok i forget how it goes TG: no you got it TG: we're good TG: reference secured GG: yes!!!!!! GG: so now it is my turn to be the star! GG: i will be your hero GG: its me TG: wait what GG: i installed the game! GG: im connecting to you as the server player TG: oh man TG: this is ridiculous TG: i just set this shit up with flighty and now i got to do like TG: some double duty thing TG: i mean i own at the game and all but cant i just relax for half a second GG: dont worry! GG: you can keep playing with flighty while i just set up a few things GG: i figured id get a good head start to avoid all the drama you guys are always getting into GG: such a bunch of drama queens!!! TG: what TG: look i was getting my ass handed to me by my bro on the roof for like an hour and a half TG: i got served like a dude on butler island GG: (DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA) TG: wait does this mean theres a big meteor coming soon GG: yes! TG: when you activate the thing will it start the countdown and summon the meteor GG: itll come when it comes regardless of what we do GG: the timer really just lets you know when its coming TG: are you totally sure about all this GG: yes look here it is!

-- GG sent metor.jpeg --

TG: ok yes that image is definitely conclusive proof of something and is 100% understandable by anyone who looks at it TG: how big is this thing GG: it is REALLY REALLY big TG: like the size of rhode island or texas or what TG: i need some context to know how much crap i should be shitting into my pants GG: ok i dont actually know :( TG: well as if like one the size of a bus wouldnt kill me anyway GG: hehe yeah.... TG: wait hold on flighty is finally opening her stupid laptop TG: so do your thing i guess TG: have fun GG: thanks i will! (heart emoticon)

It's almost as if this broken AIR CONDITIONING UNIT was scaled to be a perfect fit for the ALCHEMITER all along.

WEIRD!

TG: hey wait GG: these darn birds are in the way! GG: what are they doing in your apartment anyway!!! GG: also they are adorable TG: i always keep birds in here its sort of my thing GG: ohhhhhhh GG: kind of like all those silly naked puppets are your bros thing? TG: no no thats irony this is like TG: sincere honest to god psychosis TG: im training to be a lame gothy supervillain GG: also i think i cant put it down because of the wires on the floor..... TG: ok TG: well maybe you should take the opportunity to put it somewhere that isnt stone cold ridiculous GG: i wish i played more games GG: this is hard!!!! TG: no its not GG: :P

TG: are you fucking kidding me

GG: oh fuck!!!!!!

TG: farmstink what the hell! TG: you could have used literally ANYTHING to open the doomsday doohickey up and you used the toilet??? TG: hello? TG: oh god TG: are you asleep

#homestuck #pollstuck #dave strider #jade harley

[my-mt-heart]

Bro, Norman really needs to do something with his weird ass behavior. I have a feeling he already blocks pretty who everyone who isn't worshipping him and it's not right bc you have to have dialogue with people. And not all fans are attacking him, but he's very defensive now. I know there are rude people, but seems like now he blocks everyone who doesn't agree with him on smth. That's not right if you are celeb.

About threesome comment - oh lord. You know at this point I'm not mad at all hes being like Donnie AND Caryl. Its alright with me. Ok he doesn't want to choose. This wasn't a problem for me.

I think he didn't want to upset fans or Lauren or Melissa with choosing because Lauren and Melissa are also very sweet ladies. But for fucks sake! He could say he enjoyed working with both of them, he loves relationship with Carol and loves relationship with Connie, he could explain things from his perspective, he could say both characters but doing it fuckin respectfully. He could try to express admiration and respect for both characters and actresses so they felt they are important and not being dirty objectifiedwith that comm. It's not like fans wanted the answer the second after they asked him a question. You can think lil bit and go slow and CHOOSE words The threesome. Fuck me jesus this was ridiculous.

I like Norman but I'm not rimming his hole while he's acting not professional at all.

To me, it almost feels like we've gone back in time. Like it's April again and emotions are raw.

I shared my thoughts on the threesome comment already, but I should also add that the question itself bothered me too. Why do two women need to be pitted against each other?

#caryl #mcreedus #darylneedscarol