#its alright my 7 mutuals will like it and thats enough for me :)

[hey-must-be-a-devilbetween-us]

Just been thinking about how when Aziraphale said that 'Nothing Lasts Forever' and Crowley immediately took that in a totally different way than Aziraphale intended.

The look of surprise and confusion that quickly becomes desperation that takes over Aziraphale face as Crowley walks away, he calls out to him, begs him to come back to him, and quickly covers it up with 'to heaven.'

he didn't mean them, he would never mean them.

(a lot more under the cut)

the places would change, the circumstances would change, the people and the play and the drama would change, they have always had different seasons of their relationship.

but them, together, as always been as constant as the tides and the phases of the moon, even if they get separated for a month or a decade or a century, they always come back together.

Also been thinking about how Crowley doesn't have faith in a lot of things (for obvious reasons), but the most heart breaking is how he has no faith that underneath it all, no matter what, Aziraphale loves him and wants to be with him, even though he has a mountain of evidence of it.

Its been pointed out that Aziraphale this whole season has seemed to be trying to get closer emotionally to Crowley, 'shooting his shot.'

'Its our car, its our bookshop, its our plan to save Gabriel, take my hand lets dance while you tell me what's wrong my dear boy.'

More than just an arrangement, more than fraternizing, more then just friendly banter over drinks and food, it always was more, but now they can act like it, Aziraphale is going for it in his own way.

and Aziraphale is so obviously frustrated during the fight that Crowley doesn't see that.

but come on, you can't blame Crowley at this point, Aziraphale is effectively asking Crowley to change literally everything about themselves and forget a millennia of trauma and anger and guilt and self-loathing.

It sure makes it seem like Aziraphales love is now suddenly conditional on them changing.

I don't think Aziraphale sees it that way though right?

He doesn't see it as 'I will love Crowley more if they are an angel.' he sees it as 'Crowley will be happier as an angel surely? They will also be safer with that designation.' and 'any sacrifice will be worth it if it means we'll finally be able to be safe and together.'

See, I don't think Aziraphale even wants Crowley to be an angel again.

I think he's trying to convince himself that he wants that, which is what makes the Metatron offering that in the first place so damn insidious.

I think in his heart of hearts, appointing Crowley to be an angel again is just as much of a sacrifice to him as leaving his beloved bookshop, leaving earth with all its wonderful music and color and life and stories and people, but what does that say about him as an angel?

Everyone can sneer and look down on him for having affections for a demon but there is some plausible deniability that its just bad circumstances, Crowley just happens to be a demon but he's really very lovely once you get to know him, in spite of it all.

But like...giving Aziraphale the opportunity to make Crowley an angel again and he doesn't want to take it because...he loves Crowley exactly the way he is? That he may have had a crush on the angel he was, but it was truly The Demon Crowley that he fell in love with.

I think Aziraphale is gonna need some time to get brave enough to say that with his whole chest (but dear lord will it be wonderful when he does.)

And the Metatron knows this, and he knows Crowley is exactly who he is supposed to be, and so The Metatron knows that Crowley could never ever say yes to going back, it goes against his very nature, he knew that Crowley would take it exactly the way he did.

(Ergo more evidence that splitting them up is the whole goal because they're just too powerful together.)

So, Aziraphale is stuck in the worst way I can imagine.

He's given the opportunity to have everything he should want, so he's trying to make the best of it even though it decidedly isn't what he wants, because its evident that the meddling from Heaven and Hell isn't going away, the Metatron is giving him the path of least resistance, isn't that going along with Heaven as far as he can?

Every word he says to Crowley about how wonderful it will be and how this is an amazing opportunity and we'll be together and we'll make better choices, we'll make a difference.

Its trying to convince himself just as much.

I think Aziraphale is terrified of going back to heaven by himself, but what other choice does he have? He's terrified about what will happen if he doesn't, and not because of any explicit threat by the Metatron, but what it would imply about him, if they knew exactly how he felt about Crowley, what might they do to them both?

and that's why the Kiss™ is so horrible and beautiful at the same time, its harsh and it looks like it hurts when their teeth bump together and it is so desperate, but Aziraphale still clings to Crowley, trembling and whimpering (jesus christ sheen...)

More than an expression of romantic love (because by God herself have they expressed it in so many ways for thousands of years,) its a plea to stay, choose this, choose us.

And Aziraphale wants to, but he can't, and its agony, but how could he explain that to Crowley when he barely understands it himself, he doesn't recognize what the Metatron has done.

That's why Aziraphale seems just as angry at the kiss as he is fucking devastated, its not a 'how dare you kiss me,' its an 'how dare you kiss me right now, in this moment, when if it had came earlier everything might have been different."

"How dare you kiss me now to just let me know everything I'm giving up, and not just because you wanted to."

"How dare you make this our first kiss."

Aziraphale doesn't see the Kiss™ as the Hail Mary that it is, he sees it as a spiteful bitter thing, something that he has been yearning for forever being twisted into something to hurt him, but I think he can see the sadness and fear in it too, so he forgives Crowley for it.

And of course, Crowley takes that to mean, "I forgive you for kissing me when you know that's not how I feel, for trying to manipulate me." or something to that effect, either way its enough for him to leave the conversation, nothing more to say.

I think Aziraphales next arc is going to be all about being open and honest and brave, which is in exact juxtaposition to the traits that made him grow closer to Crowley in the first place and that's what really fucking gets me.

From giving away the flaming sword, the entire damn arrangement, trying to thwart the apocalypse, to the very fact that he loves Crowley.

"I'm a fallen angel! I lied! To thwart the will of God!"

"Yeah, ya did, but I'm not gonna tell anybody, are you?"

"Then nothing has to change."

Except it did, and it does, if they are to get their happy ending in their cottage in the south downs.

anyway, yeah that's all i wanted to say i think, how was your guys week so far?

gif credit:

@starklystar @raggedy-spaceman @spooks-ez

(if i missed anyone or miscredited pls lmk!)

cont in reply (i like what i wrote here so i'm trying to keep track lol)

#good omens 2 #good omens season 2 spoilers #good omens #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #crowley #aziraphale #neil gaiman #good omens meta #good omens 2 analysis #haha #i've been coming back and adding to this for days now #don't flop please haha #its alright my 7 mutuals will like it and thats enough for me :) #i'm really normal #so normal right now

[radiotorn]

hey bestie this is definitely not tori please do the tf2 ask meme odds if you are okay with that pleas thx ^_^ *frolicks away*

ANSWERING THIS SOOOO LATE but i want it OUUTT!! so here we GO

1- Who are your favorite tf2 content creators? hmhmhmmmmm….in terms of entertainment videos im sorta looking for someone but i like Kostamoinen, Winglet, STBlackST, CrazyScoutFIN, ShorK, Jesse Baumgartner & plus ive heard good things about Hoovy Tube but donnt know yet…..in terms of art…well…check my fav tag 😏 and also all my buddies and pals they're correct and right whenever they say things about thhe video game

3- Who is your favorite side character? I think Miss Pauling isn't a side character soo….i really like Heavy's family they r very awesome mode….i also have a soft spot for Olivia Mann i think too much about her and then i cry (yes…u can ask if u would like to…giggle) or MAGGIE GASP…i love mags....im going to give her the world and then more

5- Who are your LEAST favorite characters? hmmmmmm….ik ive said it before but i guess cheavy huh. OR classic soldier and scout i do not like them (the classic ones that come with cheavy ofc)

7- How did you find out about tf2? answered in the last ask for these, but from a ytp audio used in a flipnote if u rlly want it lmk

9- How long have you been in the fandom? funny enough i have the exact date bc i keep a journal. May 2nd 2021 is when i played the game for the first time so it started then

11- Favorite voice line? a LOT of them are engies lines again bc. well. like "Start prayin', boy!", "im wolverine-mean, you son of a bitch", and "you look a mite tongue-tied, son" they. he. im ok. im ok. im alright

13- What’s your favorite thing about the fandom? i stay within my small bubble most of the time, but i do technically have fandom to thank for introducing me to some really awesome people and mutuals :] so that i suppose! also the savetf2 tag is really really awesome

15- Do you have a NOTP? if so then what? scoutpauling and spyscout, to the max. one is incxst and the other is just. not right lol both are nem jó for me. the majority of them are either nice or just not my cup of tea

17- An unpopular opinion you have? hmm….yes! not in the terms of ppl not agreeing but just bc it hasnt been talked about but Maggie is Hungarian! she is to me and thats it ok. like theres more backing it up but its burried under a personal hc that is intertwined with an oc so.shrugs. shes hungarian to me even outside of self indulgence

19- RED or BLU? red :] i like the look of red bases more than the blu ones

21- What is your favorite piece from the tf2 OST? ROBOTS ROBOTS TO THE.MAX I LOVE. THIS SONG SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!! I LOVE THAT!!! I OLOVE IT!!! it makes me feel so awesome

23- Who do you main? i kinda find myself maining someone different every once in awhile, but i'm mostly a demo or scout main! i try to at least know how to play every class a little (except spy. not yet i'm not ready)

25- What is your favorite ‘Meet the…’ video? meet the pyro i love that one…my favey….revolutionary for the time….

27- Which character would you get along the best with? OH HELL uhh hm hmmm hurm looks inside myself…realistically? probably scout or engie…but why must i choose…when we could all be friends….i have ten hands

29- Is there a character you loved at first but now you hate? nope! my love has only grown since i got into this game i find something to love in all the characters and those who i didnt like i still dont fuck with

31- Which character is overrated? i mean, i feel like scout obvs is but i also really like scout but ppl dont get him. they dont get it right u gotta get him right. i feel like that can be the case with a lot of overrated chars......spice it up with the portrayals and then it wont taste so bad even if theyre still overrated

33- Which character do you relate to most? (or as the cool kids say, “kin”) yknwo im not just saying this but i think a good blend of engie and sniper (moreso engie maybe) with like. seasoned with some pyro . like its the nonchalance with boiling autism rage and also. sparkle on. does that make sense

35- Best character design? FUUUCCKKKK U CANT ASK THATTTTT!!!….thats something i think that like. did something to me. like. getting into tf2 shaped my entire taste and outlook in a way. like. older ppl. older ppl swag is what i learned and all of them r so distinct and have their own silhouettes and outfits and AHGHGHHH its literally art to me….but ig if i HAD to choose its a tie btween heavy and demo

37- What is your favorite update? ok i have to make it clear i wasnt into the game for the time of the major updates but i think the very start of scream fortress..or ig the haunted hallowe'en special…is my favorite because i LOOVEEE scream fortress i love the halloween maps i love the season!!! I LOVE HELLTOWER MY DEAREST!!!!! I LOVE THE HALLOWEEN SEASON!!!!!! AND AUTUMN!!! …but other than that i think love and war is another aswesome one

#TY NOT-TORI FOR THE GIGANTIC ASK LMAO ASDUAUDGVBAHDBJJAS #asks #anon #technically. i kno its u but for organizations sake ur anon #owen.file

[hollyhomburg]

noooo dont stop there lmfao who slept with the m/c first in the royal guard au? how did the others even touch on the subject of like, hey yall wanna bang? also is there angst/pining if jk is in love with namjoon but namjoon is in love with hoseok?

(this is really unedited) hmmmmmmm i think that it might have been like- Seokjin and the reader who first started to get sexually involved. since he was like the oldest one he probably felt more than a little conflicted about it. maybe during their etiquette lessons or just before, when she likes- forgets they’re supposed to have one and he walks in on her pleasuring herself. 

and he knows it’s wrong- knows he could get killed for looking at the future queen like this but. “show me how to be good Seokjin- I don't want my wedding night to be my first time- I don't want him to be my first time, I want to know what it's supposed to feel like when someone cares about me” and Seokjin- Seokjin might not love you yet- but he definitely understands your desperation. hell- Seokjin is in love with 6 other people and he’s just desperate for them to all get along most days. Seokjin is definitely the one whose the most poly out of all of them. 

so he shows her how it’s supposed to happen, and they both cum but no penetration happens (because Seokjin’s still a proper man down to his core), and then after I think she realizes like “fuck- I love sex? sex actually feels really good?” and she starts to slowly explore other things. Decides she actually does want to lose her virginity, not to her husband and probably has kind of a mutual virginity loss moment with Hoseok. Who regrets it a little afterward. 

Only because he’s not really sure that he should have- worried that he pressured her or something and only after they talk about it do they both realize that yeah- they both wanted it and there isn’t a problem with what they did as long as her fiance Doesn't find out. and honestly, the king is often visiting his cities and out on hunting trips (where he often kills more people than game). he’s so rarely at the castle and Hoseok is more than happy to help you explore your sexuality when it mutually benefits him. 

I think that Hoseok used to be a child Theif- and he had a certain amount of years that he needs to serve to not become a fugitive. and he only has a few more years before he gets his freedom. no matter the kind of bullshit that Namjoon totes about wanting to serve the crown and stay together- no. Hoseok just wants his freedom back. i think maybe namjoon confessed to hoseok recently- and hoseok didn’t take it well. before that hoseok would always try to convince namjoon to run away with him and namjoon would always try to convince hoseok to stay but the fact that namjoon’s in love with him- would feel alot like betrayl to hoseok because namjoon hadn’t been honest. 

 then he realizes- even after you get married- if you still want him the same way you do now he might have it in him to be something of a courtesan if he so desired. Not that the king would like that very much- it might be beneficial to him to be in your favor in the courts. maybe he could make a name for himself. 

of course, he eventually grows to love you- but it complicates his whole situation with Namjoon. because Namjoon’s been in love with him since they where children and while they all fool around (because they all have sex drives and urges that need to be fufilled and long since had the agreemend of helping each other out) making ties isn’t apart of the plan. i picture namojoon peppering kisses and “im sorry’s” down hoseoks chest one night and hoseok kind of melting. 

but slowly- when Hoseok starts to see the way you look at each other- when Namjoon’s hand touches yours he starts to get jealous and he’s not sure who of- he finds himself going harder with Namjoon at night, and then fucking you equally as hard and passionately with you in the morning. even when he and Jungkook fool around, trading mouths and hands in a way that seasoned lovers only do. 

maybe thats a bit of an i’m sorry in its self- jungkook knows it’s not hoseoks fault- hoseok is beautiful and charming and like sunshine- anyone could fall in love with him. jungook gets why namjoon loves him- he really does- hoseok’s so easy to love. and the affection in jungkook’s eyes weighs on hoseok. he’s not used to strings keeping him places but something in all of you keeps him here. there is somethings squirming under hoseok’s skin and he doesn't realize it until one evening when you talk with Seokjin, Hoseok standing at the door.

“he’s coming home tomorrow night to help with the wedding, I guess we’ll have to postpone our usual etiquette lesson as he’s already written he’s coming to my chambers that night” and Hoseok- Hoseok is just enraged- sitting by the door- at the thought of your husband touching you the way the 7 of them do- enraged at all of it being outside of his control and suddenly- hoseok gets it. he dosent want you to marry your husband. he doesn't want you to have to go through any of it. he wants to preserve the balance you’re starting to have. he’s in love with you and he’s staying- he’ll see this through.  

i think the sex with the others kind of starts in a different way, more of a sensual way. maybe one day they go for a horseback ride and she convinces them to swim in a secluded part of the river and though she keeps her underdress on they can still see all of her body through the thin fabric. and tae wishes for once that he wasn’t so obviously large. because he’s Poking out of his pants and he knows you see his errection, jimin licking his lips as he looks at it across the stream. cocking his eyebrows at him in question.

 you catch him staring. and i think maybe you tease all like “are you alright officer Taehyung? your uniform looks hot in this heat- are you sure you don’t want to cool off with me?” and he does- even under the watchful eyes of the others. and it's only because it’s Jimin and Seokjin that they watch- that tae feels brazen enough to touch you, finding your wetness under the water and pressing with the pads of his rough fingers in a way that he knows feels good. the same way he fingered jimin open this morning, a look says that seokjin and jimin are staring and squirming. E

specially at the way you’re touching tae- the water warm in the summer heat and so slick against his skin. And though jimin and tae are lovers- there isn’t any mistaking the looks in their eyes. jimin and seokjin want to ravage you and then each other. 

on the way home, you ride in between jimin’s legs on his horse because you’re a little wobbly-legged after taking taehyung (the largest out of all of them- a true big dick) and jimin just wants to run his nose along your shoulder- leaving little kisses that make you jump. little whispers in your ear “you looked so pretty together- makes me want to put on a show just like you did for Seokjin” a sharp look at seokjin says that he told- and honestly you’re not suprised. it’s no secret that they’re all involved. 

and maybe jimin’s hand slowly comes down between her legs a little, rubbing slow teasing circles through her clothes to tease her. enough that by the time she’s getting off the horse she’s stumbling into Jungkook’s chest by the stables. “come kookie- our lady is tired and must return to her rooms” no one bothers to mention that Jimin’s shift is over. 

i think the last one to bed the reader is yoongi- probably soon after her wedding and the first time she and him are alone together without any of the others. yoongi is particularly reserved and i picture him kissing the Backs of her hands and then each of her fingers in the candlelight and slowly grabbing at the ribbons on her dress. and he’s angry- angry that he couldn’t taste her before the king had a chance.  though he’s gone away and left her here again. left her to be lonely and left her all for them. and yoongi won’t miss his chance this time. 

“its time for you to get ready for bed my queen- let me help you” and he undresses her so so slowly and carefully and then sits her back and slowly enters her. treats her like a husband should on her wedding night, gentle and at her pace. so loving and slow and full of needy breaths and aching touches.  thats the first time it’s making love with any of you- because yoongi loved her right from the begining.

 i imagine him kissing down her stomach murmuring against her skin “he dosent deserve you”

 “the king or the others?” 

“both- neither- no one” 

her gripping his hair, “what about you then?” 

and yoongi means it when he looks up at her “least of all me” but thats something that she can fix. the way he dosent feel deserving of it all or any of it at all. ive got like- maybe a whole idea for yoongi’s chareter arc in this. 

#Anonymous

[whaleofatjme1920]

Man enjoy your break, its nice to have time for yourself lmao

On god if this blog gets deleted im gonna sob, but why would it be deactivated tho? Also can i still message you on discord if thats alright?

I feel like thats a thing with dbh, its a very minor phase that you kinda occasionally dip into once a while? I mean, its not pumping out other content thats why most only stayed for a hot second before moving on

One of my mutuals got murked for no reason—and tumblr isn’t known for being a 100% safe place in blog standing. It’s happened two of my other friends, either they got shadowbanned or full on destroyed. If that happened, as in this blog gets taken down for whatever reason I swear to all hell I’m just not coming back that’s emotional labor I’m not getting back. But Y’know, hopefully it won’t—but looking forward as a precaution, just making sure there’s fail safes.

I’m also fortunate enough to have enough of my works reblogged by other people so the possibility of me hunting my stuff down that isn’t saved (Headcanons, other thoughts that aren’t full works) isn’t entirely out of the question, it’s just labor. But again, hopefully this blog remains here for a while. It’s been active for like 7 years now, only recently started up with content. And yes ofc you can talk to me on discord.

I feel that’s most people with DBH, you fall madly in love with it and then forget bc what fandom?? What fandom?? It existed and is GONE.

#just chatting #lynx time #lord cow of the shitposts

[lethbians]

can you explain what's going on right now? i keep seeing big IT blogs talking about some discourse or something but i have no idea what they're talking about other than it involves you lol

alright i like. i truly do not like having diScOurSE out in public because i’m not one to air out my dirty laundry 24/7 but seeing as how it was brought into public against my will i feel like the least i can do is clear up the situation for those who’ve been seeing the posts. 

i’m putting this under the cut bc it’s long. tws for some biphobia, brief mention of transphobia and, at the end, a rape mention. 

so if you don’t know: hi, i’m migz, i’m an it fandom blogger. its okay, i know, its really cool. part of my shtick here is that i like to turn normal thirst tags into works of art for the sake of comedy. perhaps you’ve seen some of my highlights from my “fhg” tag - perhaps your brain has been spared. either way, it became kind of “my thing” around the third or fourth week (mid nov) of me having this blog. at first, i tagged just about every ask i got mentioning the thirst tags with “bill hader” - they had to do with him, so why not tag him? it would draw more like minded people! about two days into that i got a message asking me to tag my nsfw. i am a big dumb idiot, and apologize for not initially doing it. i havent had a following bigger than like 10 in several years and completely spaced on basic etiquette. so by the end of november i was tagging everything applicable  with “notsfw” and “bill hader”. 

now you’re caught up.

on december 1st i got this message from user billhaderanti:

now i want to start by saying i absolutely was in the wrong here. i didn’t even think about how many people were being subjected to the asks i was getting - especially ones who had no idea they were all jokes. i don’t track the bill hader tag, so it just didn’t even occur to me - that’s ignorance on my part, and to anyone who was subjected to the terrors of me before my tagging system: i am genuinely sorry. i relay the same sentiment in my response, though you can tell i’m on edge.

and they replied:

clearly they Were offended by it but thats.. not the point. at this point, im feeling Really weird about the whole interaction, but still understanding, because again - i GET it. i know my posts are gross - that’s the point. it doesn’t make it excusable, though, which is why i understand why people are offended. so i responded with the only solution i Knew would keep us both safe and happy posting on our own blogs. 

so i thought this would be the end of things! i’d been pretty anxious lately already since i’d started to receive anons telling me i was gross and whore-ish for thirst posting in this way (i delete all of those, so if ur thinking about sending one, i guess no one’s stopping you but it won’t be seeing the light of the dashboard). i’m unsure if it was immediately or a few hours later, seeing as how i have a bad concept of time and the post-dates are right on the edge between nov 30 and dec 1, but i went to their blog - because anyone who has been on the internet knows the opportunity to vague post is near irresistible. and...what do ya know

fair! it’s their blog. however i am an emotionally fragile egg girl and immediately got freaked out. the odds that they were the only one who thought this were low. and, again, i’ve been very open on my blog about how important it is to respect boundaries; my posts are absolutely prone to breaking those boundaries people have created for themselves. 

so i made my own, semi-vague post, letting my following know (and i’m pretty sure i’d answered asks about it before, but this is going to be long enough w/o me searching those up too) that i understood if they wanted to block me or unfollow or whatever - people need to create their own safe spaces. the tension is pretty clear in the tags, i’m not trying to hide that. i felt that the way this woman slid into my dm’s was pretty abrasive (just my opinion/how it made me personally feel) and i let myself be a lil emotional about it in the tags of my post.

alright! maybe this is the end. maybe we both go our separate ways and post happily on our own blogs... except it’s not the end. later in the day (some of this was happening like 1/2am, so now its Day day, i believe - again, not good w time passage lol)

clearly, i’m upset. my groupchat double checked that i didn’t get too emotional in my response - did i mention im anxious about discourse lol - and apparently.. it did the trick. she didn’t message me again. great. it was over. 

at this point, i decided i needed to make an even bigger change. so a few days after i’d calmed down i created an entirely new tag for my thirst posts so if people hadn’t already hidden the notsfw posts or just blocked me outright, they’d have a third option to escape the madness. at this point, id had my blog about 6? weeks, but there were still 2k posts for me to sift through - some of them were completely untagged. i also had to do it post by post, because one of xkits features - the mass re-tagger - was getting blogs deleted for some reason, and i wasn’t going to do that. so i spent a few days going through all 2k+ posts, adding the “fhg” tag. 

YEEHAW! a brand new tagging system, no more hopping into the bill hader tag (minus one or two really funny, not super explicit asks, like the bill hader farquaad meme), and, tbf, i’d completely put this woman out of my mind. i don’t seek out drama and do my best to stay in my lane. yesterday, i checked my activity for the first time in awhile since id put out a couple new original posts that had started to get traction and i Love reading tags. i noticed a mutual had @’d me, and realized i havent checked my @’s in...ever, maybe. i see a post from my good pal billhaderanti. 

since i dont follow them and never check my @’s, i’d completely missed it. however, once i did see it, i was horrified. id gone through all that fucking work to keep my blog My Blog and also respect everyone’s boundaries and it still hadn’t been enough. i’d been awake for almost 24 hours and went. a little crazy. and i didn’t reply immediately because i just had no words. i sent it to my friends because i... i just wasn’t going to be able to figure it out myself. 

there’s a lot to unpack in this post alone, but whatever, i’m gonna put my own grievances with the immaturity of 1. making a callout post to begin with when i’d been nothing but civil 2. making a callout post about something as (in the grand scheme of Life) minor as some tags where i refer to a someone’s genitals as a “whack pack” and 3. making a callout post in such a rude way - aside. at the end, she calls me (and whoever else!) a demonic mlw (man loving woman, we assumed, and then later confirmed with a post further back on her blog). 

which - yeah, we started scrolling. at first we were looking for more vague blogs, and then we just...started finding things. billhaderanti is a self proclaimed lesbian separatist, which... fine. but it’s already pretty clear that this woman hates me on some level simply because i am a bi woman (demonic mlw, remember!) which is just. damn man i can’t believe we are still fighting the biphobic fight lol. so the more we scrolled, the more we uncovered - and not just the biphobic / vaguely mtf transphobic things they posted (or put in tags), but we also found that they had their OWN thirst tags. certainly not as hyperbolically comedic as mine, but they were there, talking about his body and his person the same (and, frankly, a bit creepier for other reasons) as mine. 

there’s one post in particular that snatched my wig in it’s creepiness - and i say creepiness in the sense that it feels personal. like this woman feels like she knows bill to some degree where she can say these things. my tags have always had a sense of distance, as they’re written for humor. and maybe this particular post was written for comedic purposes, but it doesn’t read that way, and if it WAS, then she has no right to call ME out for MY comic tags and posts. 

i’ll let it speak for itself, mostly because i don’t want to read it again. 

i also won’t be going through her blog again to find the posts with biphobic and other Interesting:tm: tags because there are plenty and i just really! want to be done with the whole ordeal! her blog is public and i’m sure you can all find it and look to your heart’s content. 

feeling a bit feral and a bit pissed off now that we knew the depth of how rotten this woman’s vibes were, a couple of my pals made a post or two similar to what my tag’s are like except turned up to eleven (if possible) - and tagged them with “bill hader” (and notsfw!!). yes, a bit childish, but at this point, the entire situation was childish, and making jokes was truly the only way we were going to get through it. another vague post went up on her blog soon after.

talking down to us, calling us children, and then for whatever reason calling us virgins... whatever, weird post. around this time most of us (est) went to bed, because it was nearing 3 or 4 in the morning. 

and then today happened. i woke up fresh and ready for the day after a wonderful 4 hours of sleep and found that jane had made an incredibly intelligent post in response to the situation. i won’t ss it, but i’ll LINK in case you missed it. attached there in the reblog is my own response. i think they can speak for themselves. 

after that, things were kind of jumbled, since i wasn’t online a lot and when i was i was Not checking my activity simply because i was afraid of what i’d see. for the most part, it ended up just being support (which i am very grateful to all of you for - it means a lot that you all enjoy my content to any degree). 

there was some more vague posting from both “““““sides”””””” of the “““““argument”””””” - mostly just people restating the fact that this is a public space and we should All be aware of how we effect others. i still hadn’t heard directly from billhaderanti, so i assumed we’d all be dropping and disengaging and moving on. i still wasn’t blocked, though, so who really knew what would happen. 

eventually, it culminated in this last post. tw for mentions of rape

i’m going to start by saying that 

1. there are nearly no teenagers that were involved in this. im turning 23 in january and most of my friends are 20+. maybe one or two are 19. 

2. none of us sent any sexually violent asks - most of us didn’t send asks at all. i believe one or two of my friends admitted to sending asks however they assured me their nature wasn’t bad; as far as i know, everyone remained civil in whatever went on (again, unclear to me as to what was being sent; no one was actively posting or talking about it. if billhaderanti wishes to elaborate, they can, but i don’t have anything to put in). 

3. before i finish this, i would like to apologize to billhaderanti. as a comedian - not just my stupid tags, i mean in real life, too - i know that humor can hurt. it’s not always funny, it’s not just stupid hahas. sometimes things that are supposed to be jokes just hit people differently and cause bad things. i recognize that. i never meant to trigger you (if you’re reading this) or cause you any severe mental/emotional harm. i apologize for my humor bringing up your trauma, and i never meant for that. regardless of my own thoughts and opinions about the nature of my posts/the thirst tags themselves, they hurt you, and i’m sorry. 

anyway, i’m going to wrap this up (i’m bad at endings, what can i say! steven king and i took the same writer’s class!). if you read all this... sorry. i probably won’t be taking any asks about it, because i find the whole “drama” of this to be stupid and rooted in some seriously biphobic issues this fully grown woman has. 

tldr; i attempted to contain my blog so this woman could exist and function safely on her blog, but it wasn’t enough for her, so she called me out, and then some of the fandom called Her out for being biphobic and mean and overall just immature about the situation. as of now, she’s yet to block me, though her and her wife have blocked a few of my friends. her wife continues to clown on my friends. this post was made for clarity’s sake. the end, i’m getting a drink. 

#discourse #biphobia tw #transphobia tw #rape tw #ok goodbye im done with this im back to #only posting gay clown movie #Anonymous

[paintednailsandsoftdetails]

Fine Line: rambles & rankings

hello here i am eleven hours after being knocked on my ass by one miss harry e styles with some thoughts if anyone is curious!!

1. Golden- the sad bop to end all sad bops!! the dichotomy of this music being the most fun and bouncy (the da das on tour!!) while his voice is the lower, steadier element of the song is so interesting to me? also the pessimism of this song is *chefs kiss* even if the idea of his vulnerability being an undesirable trait to his partner is heartbreaking

2. Watermelon Sugar- she slaps and we been knew!! this wins for best dance number for sure and i can’t wait for us all to be grovin and yelling “high!” back at him

3. Adore You- i think after a week ive concluded that this was my least favorite of the 3 released songs, only just slightly? but i absolutely love singing along to this, and ofc the eroda aesthetic is forever connected to it and absolutely incredible

4. Lights Up- baby light of my life :’) i love lights up and i will always love lights up, shes always gonna be special to me knowing what it means to harry and the way he decided to release it on coming out day with that video, and i hope he continues making art like this for a long time to come

5. Cherry- i? wasn’t?? prepared??? to be perfectly real, i wasnt anticipating this being a fav from what we heard in reviews, BUT THIS? musically this is so exactly the sound i want from him (hozier meets bon iver but make it harry?? BLESSED) and im absolutely in love with it. and his voice!! pulled the first tears out of me on the listen through :’) the way he harps on “don’t you call him baby” in the softest most fragile way over top this melody is art, put it in the moma

6. Falling- MA’AM THESE VOCALS. i love that this is pretty bare bones musically to really highlight the vocals and the emotions, both of which go absolutely off. its maybe not the most ~interesting~ to listen to compared to others, but the power of this LIVE? holy shit thats 100% where this is going to flourish

7. To Be So Lonely- starting with “I was just a little boy” PLEASE BE QUITE im not okay. anyways there is something about the way these lyrics sit in the pocket of the music that im obsessed with. i wasnt sure how i felt about either one their own, but god the way the “arrogant son of a bitch” line is weaved in with these instruments (the strings on this!!), i feel that shit in my CHEST

8. She- hello to what i feel are the most hs1-esque vibes on this album, except definitely different and COOLER!! its weird bc this is a sound that i already easily associate with harry, but lyrically/conceptually this is fascinating territory. There are layers to be unpacked here and ive already seen some galaxy brain interpretations so im excited to let this one marinate (the falsetto and “plays pretend” lyrics… okay ma’am) also the “sleeps in his bed” vocal FUCK! and of course mitchell went off and i cant wait for harr to be all over him on tour

9. Sunflower Vol. 6- MY FUNKY LIL BABY this is so sugary in a way thats not at all cheesy but makes me smile so! much! the gasp, the sounds at the end… could not be more babie and i just know im gonna fall in love with the bits and bobs of this more and more every time i listen. shout out to the Queen vibes i got from the “tonight tonight tonight” parts! and also did i mention the end is the cutest thing what the fuck

10. Canyon Moon- these absolute VIBES shes THAT GIRL!! this is so sweet and tender im soft. the “Im going”s are so fucking PRETTY? the beautiful dulcimer sweetie you are doing so great. idek what else to say this is the soundtrack to the gay indie roadtrip movie i want harry to star in and i love it with my whole heart thats it

11. TPWK- hating on this is literally illegal?? babie made this for and about us and the space we mutually created on tour THIS IS OURS. hes feeling good in his skin and dancing with us!! even if he doesn’t have all the answers!! the Queen vibes in this too we love, and we are going to have SO MUCH FUN singing n dancing with him to this :’) the “loooong enough” vocal and then his “all together now” stuff at the end is so happy, healing and sweet i love him so much

12. Fine Line- *sigh* what am i supposed to say? what can i do? musically and vocally this is everything ive ever fucking wanted (again i didnt quite realize that harry styles pulling a bon iver was exactly my niche but guess what it absolutely is). HER FALSETTO HER VOICE THIS DELICATE TENDERNESS?? Cannot think of a single thing ive heard thats more stunningly gorgeous than the way he sings “we’ll be a fine line/we’ll be alright” so guess thats it for me lmao. similar to cherry, on paper these lyrics are not a hit for me (at least without analysis), but god it doesnt fucking MATTER bc they come across so abstract and transcendent in context (and open my mind to so many other interpretive possibilities) that i cannot not be in love. And then of course the horns come in and we get the hopeful turn…this song makes me feel things on a level nothing he’s made before ever has. 

Overall this album threw me for the loop of a lifetime; its so different from what i was expecting and even hoping for, but without a doubt the most special thing i’ve listened to in as long as i can remember. these songs deliver on a level hs1 barely scratched the surface of, and i cannot wait to see how harry continues to grow and reach even higher places across his career. endlessly proud of him, always.

Extremely tentative ranking 100% subject to change bc this is impossible:

fine line >> sunflower vol. 6 = cherry = canyon moon > lights up > tpwk > to be so lonely > watermelon sugar = golden > falling > she > adore you

#this order isnt it ajssf im sorry #falling she and adore you do not deserve to be that low when #a) fallings vocals are like that b) adore you is so so fun and c) she has conceptual layers and a depth for interpretation that is so !!! #its hard bc the first four just hit so right with me on levels i cant explain #but i think some of my lower ranked songs are stronger lyrically or conceptually #and tbsl would be lower if i wasnt OBSESSED with the music #tpwk would be lower if i wasnt obsessed with the concept #cherry being that high is insane to me but here we are #ANYWAYS LMAO this is what i got come chat with me about it! #fine line #fine line review #mine

[starlight-seeker]

ALL OF THEM ~~~~~~~

1: The last person you kissed screams they love you, you say…It really depends who the person Is lol, I haven’t kissed anyone in a long time and the last person wasn’t so great so I would kindly reject them ://

2: Did you get to sleep in today?

FUCK YES I SLEPT UNTIL 1:30 PM

3: You never know what you got until you lose it?

It throws a lot into perspective. There’s a lot people take for granted and once you loose it you don’t realize until it’s gone and you can’t get it back.

4: Do you have siblings?

An older brother whose 9 years apart from me named Chris.

5: How many kids do you want?

2 probably, both more likely adopted.

6: Who was the last person you held hands with?

Collin Aka Literal-Trashlord.

7: Did you stand on your tippy-toes for your last kiss?

Nah, person was shorter than me lmao.

8: Do you think if you died, the last person you kissed would care?

Who knows. I don’t really care weirdly enough lol.

9: Last person to talk on the phone?

My mother.

10: Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone?

No.

11: When’s your birthday?

June 3rd.

12: Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?

Not really, I kind of blocked the memory out lmao.

13: What kind of phone do you have?

Iphone S7

14: Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?

Rn I’m wearing my work pants 😩

15: Are you a different person now than you were 5 years ago?

God I hope so, I wasn’t in a great place mentally then lmao.

16: What were you doing at 4 am?

LMAO THATS LOADED. LATELY MY GAY ASS HAS BEEN FINDING MURDER MYSTERIES AND BUZZFEED VIDEOS WHILE TEXTING FRIENDS AS THEY SLEEP.

17: Would you rather write a paper or give a speech?

Paper definitely.

18: Are you lying to yourself about something?

Probably. 👀🗡

19: Last night you felt…?

Fine mostly, tired and a bit sore.

20: What’s something you cannot wait for?

To be able to go stargazing with someone close to me as well as get my life together hopefully and travel.

21: Ever told your parents you were going somewhere but when somewhere different?

I think so. I haven’t done that to my biological mom at least 😂

22: How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

Uh…7 and a half hrs?? I went to bed at 5:35 and woke up at 1:30 pm.

23: Are you a morning or night person?

Definitely a night owl. Morning person Rarely.

24: What did you get your last bruise from?

I banged into my friends counter like a dumbass. That or I was doing a price check and hit into something.

25: Do you reply to all of your texts?

Mostly though i forget to reply sometimes oof.

26: Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for. What do you do?

Talk to them casually, times passed and we’re still close beyond reason. ❤️

27: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

No. I don’t really care about it 😤

28: Anyone you would like to get things straight with?

Yeah, a few people honestly. Some I was extremely close to.

29: How many months until your birthday?

12

30: Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?

Celery or Apple slices.

31: Did you like this past summer?

It was good. So yeah I can’t complain.

32: What were you doing before you got on the computer?

Working and hanging out with friends.

33: Your ex is sitting next to you, with their new partner. What do you do?

Big oof. Honestly make the best of it?? Really no reason to get upset at this point.

34: What is the last thing you said out loud?

“Get fucked, Steve.” (We were playin Yahtzee with an Ai)

35: Your mood summed into one word?

O O F.

36: Are you doing anything else besides taking this survey?

playing Yahtzee with friends and an Ai Whose kicking all our asses.

37: What are your initials?

K. C. M.

38: Are you a happy person?

Generally though I do struggle with depression but no big deal.

39: Do you still talk to the person you liked 4 months ago?

Yeah, we’re still close friends.

40: Where do you want to live when your older?

I want to travel around, but I would love somewhere quiet with mountains where I can see stars almost every night.

41: Have you had your birthday this year?

Yes. We went to a trampoline park and got absolutely lit jumping around. 👀🔥

42: What did you do yesterday?

I worked 2:00 to 6:30 as a Cashier otherwise I went home and chilled out 😎

43: What will you be doing tomorrow?

Thankfully I have a day off tomorrow. So I’m probably gonna chill out and continue with ideas for a comic I might post soon.

44: How late did you stay up last night?

Until 5:35 AM.

45: Is there anyone you would do anything for?

Yeah definitely. I would drop everything for a select handful of people. Honestly I’d help anyone if I could.

46: Is it hard to make you laugh?

No omg. I laugh literally at anything unless I’m in a weird funk.

47: Do you believe ex’s can be just friends?

Yes, I’m still alright with one ex. But honestly work it out and hopefully things will be alright. Especially if its a mutual breakup things should be alright even if they’re awkward for a while.

48: Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again?

Lmao nah. I doubt it.

49: How many people have you had feelings for in the year of 2012?

BRUH YOU ACT LIKE I REMEMBER

50: Do you wish your ex was dead?

Never wish that on somebody.

51: Have you ever dyed your hair?

Yes I had it dyed Teal once.

52: Would ever take back someone that cheated?

I doubt it. I’d have issues trusting them.

53: Was New Year’s Even enjoyable?

This year shockingly was.

54: Bet you’re missing someone right now?

Yeah, I miss my family a lot. I don’t really get to see them. I got to see my mom today and I was really happy. ❤️

55: How would your parents react if you got a tattoo?

My mom probably wouldn’t like it at first but grow to like it knowing her, she wants to get a butterfly tattoo on her wrist.

56: Sleep on your back or stomach?

Stomach and side mostly. I can’t really get comfy on my back :((

57: If you could move away, no questions asked, where would it be ?

Somewhere nice and fun. Probably star lit and mountain filled but still some hustle and bussle.

58: What would you change about your life right now?

Living situation, I love living with my best friend but sometimes I miss living with my mom?? Idk.

59: Has anything upset you in the past week?

Yeah a handful of personal things. But I feel alright now.

60: Are you on the phone?

Yes

61: Today, would you rather go forward a week or back?

Probably back, I’d rather redo a few days than skip and loose out.

62: Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car?

Probably 40,000 so I can give some and help others.

63: Have you ever talked to someone when they were high?

OH YEAH THATS AN EXPERIENCE

64: Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone?

A few times, mostly when I’m stressed out or the situation is really tough.

65: Have you ever copied someone elses homework?

Yes. Especially when I forgot it and my friend came in clutch.

66: Are you the type of person who likes to be out or at home?

I’m a mix. There’s days I love to be out others inside and relaxing.

67: Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up?

It’s my alarm clock so sadly.

68: Have you ever stayed up all night on the phone?

Sadly, yes.

69: Could you use some sleep right now?

Probably like 20 + hrs. One good ass nap.

70: Are you going to have a baby by the time you’re 18?

Looks at age. Uhm 😂😂😂

71: Does it bother you when someone hides things from you?

Yeah. I’d rather the person come to me than hide it and talk shit. Even if it hurts I’d rather know and fix the situation.

72: What’s your favorite color?

I love deep reds but I also like blues and purples.

73: Have you ever slept in the same room with someone you liked?

Yes a few times

74: Have you ever been looking for something and it was already in your hand?

LMAO YES. i was looking for my wallet once and panicked but i was holding it.

75: Do you get annoyed easily?

Depending on the situation but when the questions dumb as hell or argument yes.

76: If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you?

Yeah. I’d rather know so I don’t accidentally break their heart. I’d rather know so I can confront the situation though still I’d be extremely flattered.

77: Do you have a person of the opposite sex that you can tell everything to?

Yes.

78: Does anyone call you babe?

Yeah a handful of people.

79: How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

A lot ????

80: What do you prefer, relationship or one night stand?

Relationship. Never had a one nighter lol.

81: What color hoodie did you wear last?

Dark purple with writing on it from my college 😂

82: Is there someone who meant alot to you at one point, and isn’t around anymore?

Yeah. Someone I really did trust and love. They did some shitty stuff and I had to break the friendship off but even now I find myself checking in on them now and again even though the answer is always the same or really cold.

#Guido i actually hate you #omg #bruh #this took a while.

[swaysfrederic]

Tyler Seguin - Mutual Friends

requested: yes or no

Can you write an imagine where you’re really good friends with Jamie and he sets you up with Tyler??

a/n: I know you guys are probably tired of me apologizing but I really truly am! School has been complete shit and giving me absolutely no time to write. Also, this is really shitty. I apologize for the shittiiness. 

mentions: Katie (Jamies girlfriend.)

warnings: curse words, and some shitty ass writing

You had met Jamie about a year ago, when you first moved to Dallas. He was your neighbor in your new apartment building and you both became fast friends. When you first met him you were really confused at what kind of job he could have that he could be gone for a week but then he’d be home for a couple of nights, then be gone again. You eventually found out that he played for the Dallas Stars, when your coworker invited you to a game. You were amazed at the seats, they were right behind the Stars bench. As they were warming up you thought you recognized one of the players but since they were moving so fast you couldn't really tell. When the game began, the player turned around, you both made eye contact and thats when you recognized it was Jamie, you both waved at each other and the friendship began. 

You had met a few of the players, when Jamie had some get togethers. But you had never really met his best friend Tyler Seguin. You had seen pictures of him and damn was a gorgeous human being. You were really hoping to meet him one day, hopefully soon.

You were watching Friends when you heard a knock at your door. You walked to the door and opened up.

To your surprise Jamie Benn was at your door “Hey Jamie, come on in. I thought you weren't supposed to come home until tomorrow?”

Jamie smiled and walked in and made his way towards your couch. “Yeah our game got cancelled due to the lights not working. It was quite funny actually seeing coach’s face, when he got the phone call.”

You both made small talk and caught up.

“Hey y/n, me, Katie, and a friend are going to a fancy bar tonight do you want to come?” 

“Um, sure. Who’s the friend?” you asked.

“You’ll find out. I’ll be at your door by 7 ok. Bye y/n!” Jamie said in a hurry.

You sighed and closed your door. You walked to your closet and decided on a black dress with lacy sleeves, it was a two piece dress and lace covered your midriff. You paired it with some black heels. You curled your hair and put on light makeup. Right as you were about to grab your purse, you heard a knock. You slowly walked to the door, making sure you had everything you needed. You opened the door to a smiling Jamie.

“Wow y/n you look gorgeous.” he gave you a hug and a kiss on the cheek. 

“Thank you Jamie.” returning the hug. You looked behind hi ad saw Katie. 

“Katie! I’ve missed you. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever. You look beautiful.” you walked over and gave Katie a huge hug. 

The whole way to the car, you and Katie caught up on the things that have been going on in y’alls life. When you got to the car, Jamie opened the door for both of you and you made your way to the bar. You almost forgot that someone else was going you, until you heard Jamie whisper about someone had you guys a table. 

“Who has us a table?” you didn't hear the name so you decided to but it and ask.

“You’ll see. soon enough” Jamie said with a smirk. You just rolled your eyes and sat back with a huff.

Once you got to the bar, you followed Katie and Jamie. You weren't paying attention and ran into the back of Jamie. He turned around and gave you look that said really. You just looked at him and shrugged. Jamie turned around and began to sit down thats when you saw the mystery guest. Tyler Sequin was sitting there in all of his sexy glory. You wen to sit down by Jamie, when he scooted over to make it look like there was no room. You glared at him and sat beside Tyler. 

“Hey. I’m Tyler its nice to meet you. Jamie has told me a lot about you.” he stuck his hand out to shake.

“Hi, I’m y/n. It’s nice to meet you too” you grabbed his hand and shook it. His hand lingered a little longer than it should’ve but who were you to complain. 

Soon conversation began to grow. You started to get out of your comfort zone until Katie and Jamie “needed” to get something out of the car. You knew what they were doing. They were trying to play match maker. Your nerves hit you like a bus, when you were left alone with Tyler. You gave him a soft smile and took a sip of your beer. 

“So y/n, what do you do?” Tyler asked.

“Well, I’m going to school to be a sports physical therapist. I’m working at the local pet store.” you said with a smile. “If I wasn’t so excited about my major now I would’ve became a veterinarian. I love animals. Hopefully soon I’ll get a dog.” 

Tyler looked at you and smiled “I love animals. I have 3 dogs myself.” He puled out his phone and showed you all sorts of pictures of his 3 fur babies.

Conversation began to flow, it was like you've known each other for forever. Soon Jamie and Katie came back all smiles. You barely noticed until you heard him clear his throat. 

“Alright kiddos its time to go, they're about to close.” Jamie said

You didn't even realize that it was empty except you guys and the bartenders. You all made your way outside. You were about to hop in Jamie’s car when you heard Tyler say your name. You turned around and looked at him.

“Um can I give you a ride home?” he asked, he had a shy smile on his face. 

“Sure.” you smiled

You just happened to look at Jamie and he had the biggest, slyest, smirk on his face. You just rolled your eyes and shot him a bird.

You both made your way to his car. He held open the door and you thanked him. As he was driving, you continued the conversation. You were about to tell him where you lived when you remembered that he was Jamie’s best friend. 

When you got to your apartment building, Tyler got out and walked you to your apartment. 

“I had a lot of fun tonight y/n.” Tyler smiled

“I did too. I hadn’t had that much fun in awhile.” you smiled back. You faintly heard a offense hey coming from Jamie’s apartment. You and Tyler both looked at each other and laughed. 

“Well I got practice tomorrow so I better get going. Um can I have your number?” 

“Yeah sure.” You pulled out your phones and exchanged numbers. “Bye Tyler have fun at practice.” you waved. Tyler smiled back and said “Bye y/n.”

You unlocked your door and walked inside. You leaned on your door and smiled. Just as you were about to take off your dress, your phone vibrated on the night stand.

“Do you want to go to dinner tomorrow night?” It was Tyler.

“Yes of course.” you smiled down at your screen. 

You both continued to iron out the details of your date. Eventually you both said goodnight. You got ready for bed. You feel asleep with a smile on your face. 

Thank you for requesting. Hope it isn't to shitty. 

#tyler seguin #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl #hockey imagines #hockey

[immanueldid]

I have been tagged on a massive thing.

Massive Ask

The Last:

1. Drink: Water

2. Phone call: Grandma

3. Text: I don’t have a cellphone

4. Song you listened to:  Daft Punk ft. Julian Casablancas - Instant Crush

5. Time you cried:  Yesterday

Have You:

6. Dated someone twice: Nope

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yes

8. Been cheated on: Can’t confirm, suspect so.

9. Lost someone special: Yes

10. Been depressed: Manic Depression Diagnosis in grade 7, inclined to keep agreeing.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up:  Drunk, yes. Blargh? No.

List 3 Favorite Colors

12. Mauve

13. Lilac

14. Wine Red/Burgundy

In the last year, have you…

15. Made new friends: Yes

16. Fallen out of love: Nope

17. Laughed until you cried: Yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes. Sometimes good, sometimes not.

19. Met someone who changed you: In a good way for once, yes.

20. Found out who your friends are: No. I suspect that’s still upcoming though in one instance. I still suspect there are things going unsaid.

21. Kissed someone on your FB list: My husband is FB friends so yyyyes.

GENERAL:

22. How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: Sssseven

23. Do you have any pets: 1 fat old cat, Cookie

24. Do you want to change your name: Somedays, yeah.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: Cried :D

26. What time did you wake up: 7am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: SLEEPING for once.

28. Name something you can’t wait for: CLONELORD CLONELORD CLONELORD CLONELORD. Also for my giant package of vampire books.

29. When was the last time you saw your Mom: Yesterday

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I was in Aus right now.

31. What are you listening to right now: Maroon 5 - One More Night

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I don’t think so

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Headphone cables tangling and knocking things over when I stand up. Loud tooth-clacking chewing.

34. Most visited website: Tumblr and Youtube.

35. Mole/s: I have a mole on my arm and one on my side

36. Mark/s: I’ve stepped on a pencil on two separate occasions and ‘tattooed’ myself :I

37. Childhood dream: Paleontologist, weirdly enough before I saw Jurassic Park.

38. Hair color: Brown

39. Long or short hair: I would like to shave my head, but its long for now

40. Do you have a crush on someone?: The husband is the eternal crush

41. What do you like about yourself: Occasionally I am funny. Somedays I don’t doubt that my mutuals like me.

42. Piercings: Just my ears. Wouldn’t mind a few more on them, though.

43. Blood type: I haven’t checked in a long time.

44: Nicknames: Scum, back in the weeaboo days I was Saru

45. Relationship status: Engaged

46. Zodiac: Scorpio

47. Pronouns: Female

48. Favorite TV show(s):  The River, The IT Crowd, Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace, Bokurano

49. Tattoos: None yet, but I want to have a Chaos Star behind my ear. So I may be a sneaky heretic.

50. Right or left hand: Right

51. Surgery: No surgery yet

52. Hair dyed a different color:  I had two framing stripes of purple at the front. I’d like to do it again.

53. Sports: Baseball

54. Vacation:  What is question. I have never had a say in where we went for vacation in my life.  Cabin I guess, because its quiet.

55. Shoes: I have those, yes.

56. Eating: what is- Nothing right now?

57. Drinking: Also nothing. W-Water. What do you want from me, ask meme.

58. I’m about to: FINISH THIS MEME HOPEFULLY

59. Waiting for: MAIL. MAIL MAIL MAIL. WHERE ARE YOU BOOKS.

60. Want: To trust .-.

61. Get married: Doing, thank u

62. Career: I want a trade. Carpentry/cabnet making seems like it would suit me alright.  I’d love to be able to build furniture.

WHICH IS BETTER:

63. Hugs or kisses: Hugs

64. Lips or eyes: Eyes

65. Shorter or taller: I am 5′3″ at best. I do not have a say.

66. Older or younger: Older. I am too tired to deal with the shit that i got myself into when I was young again.

67. Nice arms or nice stomach: Both. Arms are better though.

68. Sensitive or loud: Nnnneither.

69. Hook up or relationship: Relationship

70. Troublemaker or hesitant: I guess Troublemaker, because I am already the hesitant. Then there’d be balance.

HAVE YOU EVER:

71. Kissed a stranger: Never

72. Drank hard liquor: Yes. Regret. I hate the way that stuff tastes lmao.

73. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I’ll have you know I’m a dimensional mage. Sunglasses disappear after they are in contact with me.

74. Turned someone down: Yes

75. Sex on first date: Fuck off, no.

76. Broken someone’s heart: The way he’d tell, probably.

77. Had your heart broken: Yes

78. Been arrested: Nope.

79. Cried when someone died: Yes.

80. Fallen for a friend: Sort of. But not really. I thought I did, it was something else.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

81. Yourself: N-no.

82. Miracles: Not in the biblical sense. I believe that Miraculous things can happen. Re: Man sucked into jet engine survives unscathed.

83. Love at first sight: I mean, Technically I didn’t see my husband until the skype call that we told each other we were in love so...I guess

84. Santa Claus: My dad went through the effort of dressing up as santa, sitting sleepy on the couch by some eaten cookies once. That picture had me believing for a long time. He did a good job.

85. Kiss on the first date: Nobody is obligated to dole out physical affection ever. I never did.

OTHER:

86. Current best friend: @vvarhound and I have been through some shit, and dealing/helping each for years. I’d say thats Best friend.

87. Eye color: Hazel/green/brown

88. Favorite movie: Pitch Black, Grave Encounters

#I have been tagged #I DO NOT THINK I WILL TAG ANYONE IN THIS LONG ASS THING #feel free if you want something to do tho

[toughknit]

11 questions

tagged by the most lovely alyssandre @lieslibrary !

i get to answer 11 questions, then the people i tag get to answer the 11 new questions i will have written for them.

1 if i could meet anyone who would it be: to be honest i saved this question for last because i didnt know what to answer asdjghkdsahg i would like to meet uhhhhhh j*d* l*w cause im in love with him

2 describe your dream life: i would live wherever the weather doesnt get over 22 degrees; i would have a big dog or two (bernese mountain dogs (bouvier bernois in french, i dont know if the translation is exact), or a chowchow; just a biiig fluffy dog with whom i can cuddle with) and i dont know what type of house i want to live into just yet but i know i want it to be very mid century modern, full of plants and art… i would live with my lover of course and he is an extrovert so i dont have to talk at the many fancy parties he brings me to (cause he’s rich and shit). i wouldnt have to work and i would spend all my days reading and collecting art and talking to my parrots in my garden. i have blemish free skin and i am a little bit taller than i am now, i only dress in white, i write poetry and fiction… i just want to do everything. also i have no more anxiety and i can eat whatever i want without feeling guilty (and i would be a vegetarian)… i could go on but this is long enough

3 describe your dream house: i dont know. i just want plenty of room to dance and big windows to see the sunset, a king sized bed, white walls everywhere, a garden full of plants and vegetables, wooden floors, the house wouldnt be new it would be old so i can hear it crack during winter. no neighboors. maybe a pool

4 a teacher that left an impression on me + why: my english teacher in secondary 3 (when i was 14-15), because he was the first teacher i ever had that was conscious about the world and its issues. he was just so funny as well. i also liked most of my teachers last year, for example my french and english teachers i liked them a lot.

5 where would i like to go on vacation: maybe new york again, just to get it right this time. i would like to go to scotland, france, greece. i have never been no where further than new york in my life and im still scared to leave the house for more than a week so i’m not sure yet anyway

6 am i a chocolate or vanilla person: i loooove chocolate flavoured things and chocolate itself, but i like vanilla scented stuff a lot too… guess it depends lol

7 how would i name my children: i keep a list for my sims so this isnt too difficult: for a girl, Cécilia, Camilla, maybe Ada. and for a boy, Léo

8 my favorite song: Enemy by Angel Olsen; the lyrics speak to me very much and the guitar is so calming. i listen to this song when i’m happy (to sing along) or sad to cry with it

9 am i an ice cream or popsicle person: ice cream for sure!!! vanilla ice cream by the way ;~)

10 my favorite season + why: autumn because it’s rainy, the colors are beautiful, it’s cold outside and i can wear chunky sweaters again, it’s almost christmas

11 i’m allowed 3 wishes: i would like to save the world and social justice and all of that but i’m going for wishes for myself today; alright first of all that my family (father, mother and brother) would be happy in life because they all aren’t and nobody progresses to their better self and it also increases my depression daskgjsdgh secondly that my cat could live for a very long and happy life because i cant imagine the heartbreak i would feel if he died. and thirdly, to love and to be loved cosmically by one person in my life and this person would stay forever with me and make me happy and i would make them happy yikes thats my corny ass pisces mars sorry :/

hope u learned a bit about me lol; my 11 questions for all my mutuals who decide to do it, but @lesreveries @miijita @yuanxiaos in particular are:

what is your favorite song to sing along to, 

your dream job + why

a book or film you could read/watch 10 times in a row without getting tired of it + why

 if you were an animal what would you (like to) be + why

 if you believe we are conducted by the stars, moon and planets in life + why, 

favourite time of the day between midday/evening/night + why,

 your favourite piece of clothing you own or would like to own + why,

 the handcream u use cause i want recommandations,

 a superpower u would like to have + why, 

favourite pieces of art (installation, painting, event, song, anything) + why

and your favorite meme asdkjgakdsjg

[shiny-craboo-blog]

@rockformed​ replied to your post : i keep goin away for a long time but theres a good...

what asshole?? 👀👀👀👀👀

WHOOO lemme tell you this is a long one (sorry about any spelling errors i was tryna get this done quickly)

it was actually that guy that we played overwatch with together once.

ive known him since about december, but he was saying lots of homophobic and racist shit, so i was like eh might as well try to make him a better person, but to do that, you gotta get close, and i started liking him (literally @ past me why?????)

so i flirt a little here, giggle a little there, and he falls in love with me. i liked him too, but he liked me to a point where it was obsessive. he was telling me i saved his life and that out of everyone on earth im his favorite. i come out to him as trans one day, and after a lot of thinking, he was like “okay yeah im okay with this” and i was happy

however, like i said, he was really obsessive. he wouldnt let me play games with anyone else unless he was there, and when i tried to watch a show with one of our mutual friends, he gets all upset about it.

eventally, even though he liked me, he started being a real ass. i told him that i didnt really like him anymore and that i wanted to stay friends, and he turned it into this huge fight and ended it with “Forget it... Good night.” - and he used that phrase every (and “goodbye”) every time he wanted a conversation to sound final or like he was going to die if i didnt give him all my attention right then and there.

the fighting continued for a few months, during which he called me a sociopath, narcissistic, not worthy off being called a human being, and all that typa stuff. he started feeling suicidal - even though he felt that way before i met him, he started feeling it stronger because he didnt have me constantly fawning over him to ease it out - and he straight up told me that he blamed me for his feelings.

the fights got reaaalllll bad, and eventually he had a set day and time, and every time i said i was going to call his mom about it, he got really defensive and acted like i was attacking him, saying “dont test me” and shit

he became really emotionally manipulative and just flat out malicious tbh

the day came around and i blocked him because i didnt want to hear about it, and he started yet another fight. he didnt do anything though because half an hour later he came crawling back saying that he needed someone to talk to and that he had this whole change of heart and that he realized what his friends were worth and how he acted really shitty and that he was sorry

but he didnt change his behavior at all lmao

he kept arguing with me, so i started just. not joining as much and not talking to him as often and he got really pissy, asking me if i was talking to other people and accusing me of talking with this guy who he hates (the guy he hates left to make another server with all the people this guy was an asshole to so they could have a place where he wasnt there being a dick and the guy im telling you about acts like the victim whenever he talks about it like?? literally if u were a better friend they wouldnt have felt the need to?) (and i totally was talking to the guy bc the enemy of your enemy is your friend and all that) but he was a real ass about it. 

and saturday!! this saturday!!! he was an ass the moment i joined the call so i left and he got mad saying like “you know how i get upset when you leave the call” and i was like “i just??? dont wanna be there if ur gonna be mean to me the moment i join??” and he said

THIS BITCH

said

“its a guy thing to be mean to your friends. but i guess you wouldn’t know about that ;)”

so i blocked him. he texts me saying that hes been mean because his dads been on his back about college, and i said it wasnt an excuse. a few minutes later, someone from the server messages me sayin that nick said if i dont unblock him hes gonna ban me. so i unblocked him and asked for a reason why i should stay. this bitch. this ass. says “because i thought we were friends” LIKE BIIIIIIITCH PLEAAAAAAASE YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WE AINT

anyway we fought for 3 hours and rather than giving me any good reasons to stay he called me stupid and said i misinterpreted the message like?? how else am i supposed to interpret it????????

so im staying, making him fall in love with me again, then leaving.

bonus: i made a list of the highlights of some of the shit things hes said to me

"Forget it... good night." "i used to trust everyone then the thing happened with my cousin so i stopped sharing myself or exposing myself. then i did over the years with kii then she backstabbed me. then ness and it happened again. i didnt trust anyone and still wasnt ok with sharing myself. then u stepped in and made me feel happy and wanted and like i could trust people. then you said you loved me like you did. i opened up and pursued and got lead on for 15 hours a day for a month up until i got enough courage to try to stand and speak open heartedly and with courage and the next day you lose all interest." "you know what? you obviously dont like me anymore. im over it you win. im done chasing. the goalposts always change. its over." "i cant stop chasing you. you are literally my favorite person on earth." "im doing this once a day from now on. wanna go out" "1 reason i got on ow. *1 reason i got on ow off my psych. guess it doesnt matter to you." “For the record the reason im mad all the time is because im fucking pissed at you but cant take it out for some reason.” “reason im so shit ight now is caught i thought i was at rock bottom and you took me up the mountain just to fling me off. forget it. good night." "youre still online. just gonna pretend im not here?" "hope this doesnt wake you up but sorry for being a cunt." "i still want to die haha. life sucks" "im sorry." me: you purposely did something to make me mad and then get upset when i get mad "im hald zoned in rn im getting killed by bad vibes but im not gonna make you mad ever again." "why did you fool me. i fight with you a lot now and its because of what you did to me and how ive lost my sense of self and all emotions because of you. but then i remember this is just how i usually am and being happy is what people are supposed to be like and im not so this is normal and only my fault so. i forgot where i was going with this but take care friend." "if it was the concept thing then why do i still love you." "i get upset because i have to actively avoid falling for you." "im only angry and mean to you because i dont understand my emotions." "im gonna kill myself saturday at 7:32 pm" (<<<this was two weeks ago hes fine now) "im not gonna do it i just want attention" "to keep it 100 i just said that so you wouldnt call anyone." "dont test me" "eat shit" "if youre trying to make me unfriend you its working" "actual human beings dont pull that bullshit. they suck it up and stick to their word or break the news to the other and dont drag them along." me: every humans a human regardless of whether or not they feel "theyre a human. not an actual human. theyre a human but not worthy of being called one." "in 3 months you managed to fuck with my emotions and make me want to kill myself more than kii did in 3 years." "i think this is the last conversation were gonna have. if you got anything important to say speak now or forever hold your peace. alright youre in overwatch and missed your chance." "have fun with your game hope its worth losing me over."

me: im going to call your mom and tell her right now "and say what? 'im a bad friend and now nick wont talk to me?'"

me: no. 'nicks planning on killing himself.' "and ill just say its someone im amd at trying to get revenge on me" "im not convinced that its not a whole thing made specifically to drive me to suicide." "in queue rather than fixing problems. typical. goodbye, asshole." "what if by trying to stop the outcome u saw you just pushed me away from one of the only people i trusted and now im on a path that ends in my inevitable self destruction." "no thats the depression but i am saying u took away what made me happy." "forget it, ill catch you later. apparently no goodbyes either lol." "bye oats." "the only thing you will ever love besides yourself is overwatch. bye." "are you there i just got back and i really need someone." "beause youre the middle man i guess and it was a test of allegiance i think in my mind." "idk i just feel like not many people actually like me deep down and its a shit thing of me to put that on others." "hows ness doing" "because im done walking on eggshells for you, snowflake. "its a guy thing to be a dick to your friends. guess u wouldnt understand ;)" "sorry for being a jerk. dad has been riding me all week and im mad all the time." "maybe you would get it if your dad ever punched you or woke you up by throwing shit at you." (i know for a fact his dad doesnt do this. there was a whole week where we were in a call 24/7 to see how long we could get one to last and his dad brings him dinner and plays xbox in the same room sometimes. i get that from an outside perspective this may seem mean to overlook, but if you knew this guy, you wouldnt put it past him to lie about shit like this just for attention.) "youre being such a baby over this. its not a big deal, its an argument." "considering you didnt write it id consider it awful stupid of you to think you can interpret it better than the author." "you dont know me"

#babbbles #just like #fuck that guy? #legit thinkin about ruinin his entire life. telling future employers hes racist and stuff.