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pawschamp · 1 year

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VOL 8#2/CH35: “double team” appreciation

i’m a huge fan of the way nightow encapsulates a certain thematic or specified topic in each chapter, almost making each chapter its own arc with the way a character can change in just a few pages. as an example to appreciate this, i’m using chapter 35 aka “wolfwood doesn’t shoot” chapter aka one of my favorite chapters in the entire series.

warning, this is not a thought out essay, this is just the insane ramblings of a guy that likes trigun and wolfwood. there will be tangents, there will be derails, but overall, it’s a 4k insight into where my mind goes when i read these chapters.

TW WARNING: wolfwood’s backstory pictured (child experimentation, child harm), blood, death

SPOILERS WARNING: mentions of vol 8 events

for consistency sake, i’ll be using overhaul’s translation.

this chapter throws us into the familiar perspective of wolfwood. the readers have been in his shoes, we’re made to understand his thoughts since the very beginning of maximum, considering max started from his perspective. his ordeal and his internal struggle was made clear since the leonef arc, but this chapter serves as a checkpoint of where he is now, paralleling almost to chapter 11 where it had began with wolfwood’s dream + where his internal conflict were first laid bare to readers.

it’s also good to note that this chapter is in vol 6, the vol that takes place after the midvalley/hopper arc. this entire volume consists the internal dialogue of essential characters and where they stand with vash; the first chapter being meryl, then wolfwood, legato, knives, milly (a bit of vash), and then an open ended one, but it leads into vash’s flashback -- obviously, each chapter progresses the story itself too, but the main focus tends to be the thoughts of these characters. i really appreciate nightow writing an immensely thoughts driven and relatively quiet (in terms of action) volume after the heavily action packed previous volume. he does this well in the chapters themselves, knowing when to lead the reader into quiet so we can all feel the scene much more intimately. these chapters become more emotional because we’re settled with each character individually, we lean into their fears, their worry and concerns. the fact we get so little of vash and his thoughts in these chapters aside from the flashback makes him feel distant and lonelier (which, considering his immense guilt of remembering july, it feels purposeful.)

vol 10 will always be my favorite vol but vol 6 is certainly up there... i think it was masterfully put together and nightow’s character writing is one of my favorite parts of trigun. the introspection is such a core part of trigun itself alongside the action and i just appreciate the overall pacing of it and how it eventually leads into vol 7 where we return to vash, to the conflict between the brothers, and then into the harrowing 7 months of destruction on no man’s land where the kind of peacefulness that settled in vol 6 no longer exists for a long time in the future chapters.

anyway, to the chapter now

from the dream alone, we can tell there’s a progression of wolfwood’s risk taking heart beginning to open. from all the time he’s spent with vash and what he’s witness after the leonef arc, he’s starting to change internally, he’s no longer the same as he was at the beginning of trigun. the dream provides a what-if situation, where wolfwood kills off the eye of michael (vague individual, but probably chapel again?), freeing the children.

side note, but it’s particularly sad to me he says “i can never come back, but at least y’all will be safe now.” in an universe where a happy ending could be provided for the orphanage, there still wouldn’t be a happy ending for wolfwood. he can free the orphanage but even the destruction of the eye of michael wouldn’t free him from the man he’s grown into and it’s telling of just how little he believes he deserves to go/have a home.

but the dream then panels to knives and his fear of someone/something other than himself is shown. as i mentioned earlier about how this parallels to chapter 11, in that dream, it showed how wolfwood can’t return to the kids because of the blood that stains his hands, a dream he gets after having killed rai-dei and confronted by vash about his role.

he still feels this way considering his mentioned thought of “can’t return” anymore, but the dream shifts focus to knives because the threat of him looms closer now more than before after having witness vash transform in the previous arc -- and it’s clear him being a first hand witness has influenced his fears considering knives is using his ability within the dream.

overall, wolfwood has sooo much on his mind at this point; he saw vash transform, he came face to face with the rest of the gung-hos, met the strongest gung-ho, seen the price of betrayal with his own eyes (though b/c it was carried out by legato, it doesn’t necessarily hold the same weight)... he’s also done his fair share of trying to get others away from danger, notably when he speaks to meryl in the previous chapter, and tries to ward her away now that she’s seen first hand of vash’s strength, seen below from the chapter right before this. he’s relatively passive in his interactions with meryl so it’s insane how his behavior in ch 35 contrasts with this.

kind of a side note but i’ve always enjoyed this interaction between wolfwood and meryl. this is the first time they actually got to converse and he’s actively reading her and giving her advice; it’s advice he’d give to any average citizen, he’s always been an advocate for regular folks to turn their back so long it can keep them safe, but his advice here definitely felt a little personal considering how he’s gotten to known milly and he Knows for certain that this just isn’t the environment for her. the way he says “This isn’t the place for that cute partner of yers” as a reason to push Meryl to turn away always gets to me, because while there may be an implication for meryl to hightail out of there to protect herself, the discussion ends at wolfwood telling meryl to back out for milly. being with milly in the previous arc, he knows the lengths and sort of reckless, self sacrificial nature that milly has; she who refused to back out constantly, even after having expressed she was terrified, she still stayed, so wolfwood knows that if meryl leaves, then milly would too. he prods meryl, reminds her there’s another life aside from her own she’d be risking if she stayed.

after he wakes up and leaves the bar, he runs into zazie who just drops off a message from knives, as though to taunt him any further lmfao... it’s relevant that zazie shows up here considering wolfwood’s recent meeting with the rest of the gung-hos. zazie in particular is a complacent neutral party amidst the conflict, willing to see things through for knives / legato as long as the worms can be left alone.

one of the funniest lines ever to be delivered to wolfwood, “You’re a scary one. Almost like Bluesummers.” i laugh every time i see it.

but anyway, as stated by wolfwood, he recognizes that the point in conflict has reached far enough that what he does doesn’t necessarily matter anymore. sure, he’ll still keep to his job, but vash is going to end up at knives doorstep no matter what, especially with his recent recollection of july. wolfwood recognizes the minor part he plays, he recognizes how small he is amidst the overarching battle between the twins. i think this realization influences his dream too, being that he had rebelled and felt hope that the orphanage would be left alone, but still, the orphanage can’t avoid the fate that would fall on humanity as a whole. regardless, they would be caught up in what knives does.

then we get to this insane flashback, this Gorgeously illustrated first meeting between wolfwood and knives that haunts me every day of my life. i just want to appreciate this page for a minute, art wise... the tubes forming the composition throughout the panels, trapping wolfwood, encaging him despite him being the one standing over knives. i like how that’s emphasized with the overlap on the top panels and the gun he holds is so small in the bottom right panel. in the bottom left panel, it’s a perspective shot from wolfwood’s eyes, the gun trained onto knives chest (i think compositionally, it just looks cooler which is potentially why it isn’t aimed at knives’ head, but i can also think wolfwood might’ve lost the resolved to kill knives already from fear alone and thus, his gun was lowered.)

also i feel like not only did knives’ presence halt wolfwood but the medical equipment strung to knives might’ve triggered a terrible memory for wolfwood too, considering his experimentation.

above is from ch. 50.

but the focus of this flashback is in knives’ otherworldliness and how despite wolfwood managing to get so far to be face to face with knives, he could not pull the trigger from fear alone. and wolfwood has this humane reaction every time he comes close to death which is a resurgence of a will to live; he feels it in this moment with knives, he feels death closing in on him despite him being the one with the trigger at his finger and knives against the ground.

above from chapter 6.

from the knives flashback, we can see the lack of choice that wolfwood had at that moment. the lack of choice in the mission given to him, the lack of choice in being able to shoot at all. it solidified him into the position where he is today and quelled the rebellion he dreamt of.

from his nightmares to the meeting with zazie to this flashback, remembering knives and his presence and comparing that fear to vash, him remembering the last time he felt that fear from vash at all... although he’s always known vash to be an “other” from humans, when faced with the actuality of it, he starts to think more on their differences and kind of distant himself mentally from vash? by calling him a monster and “the one who can save humankind”, honing in on his inhumane side. he knows vash, but wolfwood is thinking from the memories of knives, he’s thinking from his feelings of fear in that moment with vash, and he probably feels so small, not capable of anything beyond doing his job. as a reminder, this is what he thinks during that scene, similar feelings to how he felt with knives imo although vash’s anger is transformed into outer and inner, almost like he’s trying to kill that anger he holds to upkeep his resolve to not kill.

and in the moment of deep pondering, with brilliant timing, vash calls out to him.

no matter how many times i see this page, i explode with so much emotion. to stay on topic, this panel of vash sitting leisurely on top of a rooftop has a lot of elements to it. the moon he blew a hole into shown right behind him, an ever present reminder of his destructive powers which wolfwood, no doubt, is remembering it distinctively in this moment. but i loooove love how this page contrasts the one with knives. this scene following is just parallels to wolfwood's memory of knives and while in his confrontation of knives, wolfwood was trapped in both a physical and internal sense. the positions being different too, where wolfwood hovered over knives but still remained below in a hierarchical sense while now, vash is above him physically and wolfwood looks up towards him. considering wolfwood's thoughts so far, the positioning is reflective of that. but considering their space, the openness, outside, the expansive sky behind vash alongside the moon, there's so much freedom in where they're both standing. wolfwood is constrained beneath the thoughts he has, his worries, but he has freedom to move around vash and yet wolfwood chooses to go up to meet him.

now i can derail and go a little insane over their expressions here, IDK. im VERY vw-pilled, so excuse me, but VASH'S LOOK TO WOLFWOOD?? "You're a bit of a night owl, huh?" it’s just a plain observation really, the casual nature in how he converses with wolfwood, something he’d recognize over the course of their journey... this also isn’t the ONLY time they’ve met under the moon, they did so in multiple bullets too. gay ass moon couple... whatever... i’ve also seen people note that vash is fake smiling here and perhaps. some days, i can believe that because he is just so goddamn sad during this time, but i also like to think it’s genuine. maybe prior to seeing wolfwood, he was neutrally observing the on going events in the town, but the moment he saw wolfwood strolling about in deep thought, he’s just like “oh, wolfwood! :]” Just being a little happy to not be alone for the night.

it’s a small detail, but i like how nightow incorporates these side missions into the chapter’s arc and the overall theme in little ways. because it’s been these yin-yang brothers that’s been making trouble since the last chapter and in this moment, vash watching these two brothers bringing down mayhem on a peaceful town.

alongside this page, we see wolfwood’s steady approach, vash’s back turned to him as they chitchat before wolfwood quietly

positioned the same way as before, the gun held to a twin that’s positioned lower and wolfwood looks down.

aside from how beautiful he is, i like how wolfwood holds a resolute gaze. he probably feels he has the upper hand, Knows it in some way because vash is seemingly defenseless. if he wanted to, he can shoot.

meanwhile, vash just Looks tired. not necessarily sorrowful, to me, he just looks exhausted. from the many clues later in this chapter, i think the reader can clue in that vash definitely knew wolfwood pointed a gun at him. whether it’s sorrow, a sense of betrayal, or nonchalance is unclear. i think vash might’ve knew wolfwood wouldn’t pull the trigger and if he had, i think vash would’ve felt resigned to it. vash understands the reason why wolfwood kills; in all his instances of killing, it’s been for the sole purpose to protect. when he killed rai-dei, it was to protect vash. when he killed gray, he was doing his part in protecting vash’s home which vash had entrusted to him. there’s tons of thoughts that goes through wolfwood’s head when he does kill and what it means to him personally, but to vash, wolfwood has never killed for a selfish reason so when wolfwood points a gun at him, if he has intentions to kill, there would be a reason that vash understands considering his own beliefs on protecting humanity. i think at the end of it though, he knew wolfwood wouldn’t shoot him.

and wolfwood doesn’t pull the trigger. his hand doesn’t shake, there are no sweat marks on his face, he’s not afraid at all. with a soundless mind, he decides not to shoot. it’s important that we get wolfwood’s thoughts because it’s not as if he has any particular doubts in his own abilities. to wolfwood, if he put a bullet through vash’s head, he may die, he may be immobilized to be easier to kill, etc etc but ultimately, he chooses not to. just prior to meeting vash, he was already riddled with the memory of his rebellions amounting to nothing, so if he had “killed” vash (just like how he had “killed” chapel before), he’d still have to face knives and he’s already experienced once what going against knives was like. he can’t do it, wolfwood wouldn’t be able to kill knives and there would be nothing to ultimately gain from killing vash.

naturally, i think we can also conclude the “reasonable” reasons aren’t the only things keeping him from shooting vash. it’ll be mentioned later, but what wolfwood thinks vs what he does can be fundamentally different because sometimes, wolfwood Just isn’t fully aware of how he acts, doesn’t know it. i think that’s part of the reason we don’t get his thoughts here when he lowers his gun, because he doesn’t know, he doesn’t understand why he can’t shoot vash either. if i had to reason it, it would be what i said before and that’s how i view how wolfwood might reason it, but that isn’t all of it. <-- this thought will be continued later.

i always found it funny how vash looks back because i’m sure he sensed something was weird about how quiet wolfwood was and how nothing was happened, so he just looks at him like “???”

wolfwood hits him with the reminder again of what to keep his focus on, as he usually does, and it’s ironic of him to say “It’ll be pointless if ya get yerself killed before ya meet him.”, having pointed a gun at him literally 2 seconds ago.

anyway, as the story progresses, the yin-yang brothers has started to blow shit up and vash, ever so involved, runs after to stop them. wolfwood, diligent, runs after vash.

i don’t have a lot to note but i like how vash is called a pretty boy. he is the prettiest boy. the page after this, they basically try to run him over, but vash sidesteps just in time to avoid that and turns towards the car to shoot at them. turns out though, the brother hopped off the car and appeared behind to hurl these sharp thingies at vash’s vulnerable back. please read the next 3 beautiful pages carefully

this sequence is just So well done. it’s very simple to bring back the hard ass table that wolfwood had woken up on and smacked his hand hard against at the start of this chapter, a purposefully strong table made to withstand drunkards... but it was pulled into the fight, to cover that split second to defend vash before wolfwood himself makes it to him. it’s important to note that vash doesn’t even look at wolfwood here. he’s not the least surprised, he’s still keeping his eyes directly on the tank. he does briefly look at the enemy behind him on the previous page for one panel, but i think that glance may have been targeted at the table wolfwood threw. i say this because vash moves fast and if he had wanted to target the yinyang brother behind him, he would’ve shot him already.

the both of them focus on the targets they’re aiming at. vash with his gun can’t break the armor of the tank and wolfwood’s punisher isn’t made for a single target unless he wanted to pulverized the dude with bullets and his aim won’t be precise with the punisher either. they’re mainly talking to themselves on this page, but the fact they don’t even say anything to each other, only giving a single glance before...

changing positions immediately -- understanding where the other had lacked in, understanding what they themselves would be capable of doing and what the other could not... like.... wolfwood quickly changing the punisher’s form to activate the torpedo to take care of the armored up tank and vash quickly getting aim on the yinyang brother the moment he turns around. in just fighting together, it communicated everything we needed to know about their teamwork. and taking into consideration how they’ve been fighting alone for their entire lives only to flawlessly come together as a team despite that... they’ve developed a trust on each other, a trust i think vash is relatively aware of at this point, but wolfwood hadn’t realized it.

i’m saying that because of his expression here lmfao

i think wolfwood can be pretty slow on realizing things for himself. i think for vash, he’s already built a recognition that wolfwood was going to be following him, that wolfwood would be there to protect his back, and i think that feeling stems from personal trust, considering how often wolfwood has done that for him already and i think a bit of that is also vash being aware that wolfwood has a job he’s upkeeping to protect/keep an eye on vash, so he’d expect wolfwood to upkeep that too.

on wolfwood’s end, he turns back to vash immediately, realizing that he had left his own back unattended. wolfwood knows vash, he understands the kind of person he is, but he was still anxious because of all the thoughts he held up throughout this chapter. i don’t think wolfwood’s trust in vash was purposeful prior this chapter and really, there wasn’t any particular scene that showed him trusting vash outright because wolfwood has always moved pretty independently throughout the arcs. it tended to be vash putting his faith in wolfwood instead while wolfwood himself was still trying to figure out where he stood with vash. but through battle, through the nonverbal communication and through instincts, i think that provides a lot of context of how his trust is ingrained instinctually and how despite what he states, what he thinks for himself, he internally already knows otherwise that he would never be able to harm vash, that he has already deeply sided with him.

when the fight is over, vash immediately disarms himself, thanks wolfwood, and his back is once again bare, turned towards wolfwood, vulnerable and full of trust. it’s intentional in how vash shows his trust towards wolfwood and wolfwood, processing, realizing that in full... how despite all of his worries, his fears, pondering about how this monster was going to save humanity, he’s ultimately just looking back at someone who’s grown so close to him. and i think this page is wolfwood coming to realize what his relationship with vash has become. overall, this chapter just feels like the moment when wolfwood has come to be honest and frank with himself on where his allegiance lies. in the previous arc, midvalley came at him constantly about who he was betraying and i think wolfwood was like “what the fuck is he talking about” for a good portion of it up until this chapter.

a lot of what wolfwood had to tackle that previous arc was where he stood in the crossfire. being a gung-ho after having killed “chapel” and stolen his spot which in turn led him to working under knives directly which led him to become vash’s guide, merely a job to be his guide until it no longer was just a job. he has a lot in common with midvalley, both being assassins, both having a heart that lied elsewhere and not in line with knives or legato. they both acted out, betrayed before, and midvalley himself mentioned how the twins were beyond them, higher beings while they were mere insects, or something along those lines... which wolfwood basically echoes similar sentiments here. when midvalley died, he most likely saw a reflection of himself. when he comes before midvalley’s grave, he thinks on that, the “can’t make a stand, even with those fangs of yours”, thinking of betrayal that comes about in his dreams. he knows for certainty that he wants to protect the orphanage; beyond that, i don’t think wolfwood believed he sided with anyone at the beginning of chapter 35. it’s a realization he makes steadily throughout the course of it and only when he’s back to back with vash does he realize he’s already sided with him whether he wanted to or not.

the chapters in vol 6, from all these different perspectives, they all end up concluding something new about vash, something they realize from what they’ve observed of vash in the previous arc and in person. meryl recognizes that vash’s fears and shame won’t stop him from shooting his gun. legato recognizing the significance of if vash could collect all the coins that becomes prevalent in chapter 80s. knives realizing that vash is already in the process of dying due to the black hair. milly seeing vash’s muddled up expression, the smiling facade he holds automatically when he doesn’t know what to do and gets a glimpse into the loneliness he feels.

the significance of wolfwood coming to terms with his feelings of vash makes his actions in vol 8 all the more meaningful and comprehendible. granted, i think throughout the previous chapters, we can all sense this sort of change in wolfwood and how much he cares about vash and all that... but i think the trust that wolfwood solidifies in vash goes beyond personal sentiments. after all, i think wolfwood having saved vash in vol 8 is because he trusted vash would be capable of saving humanity and that trust was enough for him to risk his own life... despite being afraid of dying, despite not being Ready to die, despite his own personal doubts and uncertainties and the echo of rebellions falling into ruins, he still went forth to save vash for the sake of humanity and he trusts that vash, despite his lonesome for those 7 months, would be resolute enough to stop knives. --> i’m saying “for the sake of humanity” because that’s just relevant with his thoughts in this chapter. him freeing vash has multitudes of layers that’s both personal and selfless to the fault, but that’s for another post.

and the final light hearted page in this chapter, where they chit chat a bit casually. i feel like every time we see wolfwood in his off time, he’s always eating something/discussing eating, which is kind of cute. he’s on top of his meals!! and of course, one of the best panels for millymeryl, the utter destruction and devastation in that house and meryl looking like she definitely Did not sleep from the chaos (and probably due to her own nightmares too) while milly is refreshed... they’re the cutest ever.

anyway, that was the last page so that means this chapter is finished! the way this chapter went full circle in regards to wolfwood’s thoughts, how all of his worries eventually led to a resolution to his feelings about vash... i think wolfwood’s point of view is always a gift to explore because his thoughts sometimes conflict to the resolution he comes to, especially when it comes to vash. wolfwood never had a presence like vash in his life, never known someone so different but still so similar to him. it’s all very new, so i think wolfwood’s circling thoughts, confusion, and the eventual choices he make when it comes to vash is a precious insight that i’m Very grateful towards nightow for.

i don’t know how to conclude this, but that’s all i have to observe! i hope it’s understandable what i mean when i say this chapter feels like an arc of itself and yet, it’s still so perfectly entwine with the rest of the plot. wolfwood’s thoughts here are not foreign, his development doesn’t come from nothing; it’s all a steady progression and i think it’s valuable for all the decisions he ultimately makes in the future chapters.

#trigun #trigun analysis #trigun meta #???#trigun maximum #also i didn't know where to put this thought but the title of this chapter is double team #double team can signify to vash and wolfwood's teamwork #it can also signify to wolfwood's troublesome allegiance to both knives and vash #anyway know that im also pulling shit out of my ass sometimes because i think TOO much and too deeply lmfao #i also might not be thinking enough and am wrong about things but WHATEVER!! this is just my view #some of these might just be assumptions and are kind of insane conclusions but i hope - above all else - that it's Comprehensible.#it's bene a year since i wrote something this long lmfao but this is just a soft appreciation of this chapter #if possible i would this for the entire manga but i Don't think i have that kind of time

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parentsday · 2 months

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i think david was a lot more like max as a kid but he softened the story he told to max nikki and neil in the car

thank you for the ask anon !! for your reference reading this made me grimace in a way that a wounded dog would upon seeing a piece of meat !! but seriously this is a topic that is very important to my personal and possibly general understanding of these two characters, so im just gonna say that i agree with you and such interpretation of david’s character is very easy to call accurate to canon as both david and max are written with obvious intent to be seen as parallels of one another, more so than they are written to be character foils.

max and david are set to be read as opposites in the show from the very start and i think this is also the easiest and safest way to perceive both of their characters if this shows meta doesn’t interest you. their standpoints and life views are seemingly removed as far away from each other as humanly possible and we are reminded of it more than necessary in the earlier content. the show tries really hard to make it look like david is an inherently good person put against max’s necessary evil, so it seems only right to view them this way. and yet the first two seasons of the show do a spectacular job at showing us that david is not at all as good of a person as he tries to be (not tries to appear, but tries to be, important bc first one is max’s perspective on david’s person while the second one is a description actually accurate to him). early seasons david is undeniably selfish and just as much of an asshole as max is, keep in mind that this is not my personal view on his character but a fact in canon that we are reminded of time and time again and is also something that gets lampshaded by the writers during the parents day episode. he pushes his positive perspective of the way things should be just as hard as max pushes his negative one, if not more, he behaves in his own personal interests instead of interests of others or the interests of camp constantly and guess who is the only other character in the show who does this just as often (the answer is max). the only reason why it’s not always easy to pin point this stuff is because they are constantly posed in situations that require them to act dissimilarly enough for it to create a contrast which isn’t always easy to pick up on as something intentionally vague and done for specific narrative purpose. this similarity extends onto the fact that they are both victims of abuse and the show is well aware of it and uses it to its own advantage. both max and david deal with their trauma in drastically different ways as seen by the way they talk about the world surrounding them, but the core of it is the same and that’s the important part of it.

so i believe it’s very safe to say that even if david didn’t say anything that would allude to him changing the story about his younger self to be nicer than it actually was, it sure was implied by the writers in the subtext of that episode, maybe in the subtext of the show in its entirety. early camp camp content surrounding these two based itself very heavily on david’s belief that his similarity to max is what will push this kid to become just like him in the future, so it really is not out of the left field to assume david was a lot more like max when he was younger. most probably because in many ways he still is just like him.

tldr; david sees himself in max in more ways than one and the show’s writing feels the same way because they intentionally wrote them to be as similar as possible. the writers rely heavily on these two being narrative parallels to make their characters work in the way they do so your headcanon is as real as it gets anon ^^

#camp camp #camp camp meta analysis #david cc #max cc #is it obvious i tried my best not to dadvid out in this one #treating these two like they are not intertwined in my mind just so none of you get the found family ick.. mwah mwah

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animentality · 5 months

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Durgetash is beautiful because like. Take this from the the canon dragonborn Durge perspective for instance. There’s nothing in game that suggests Gortash decorated his whole outfit with dragon motifs, complete with medallions that literally look like Durge’s profile, on purpose. In honour of his love or even as a way to keep him close after he loses him, but there’s equally nothing in the game to say that ISN’T the case either.

The game just presents you with this guy decorated head to toe in dragons despite not really having a dragon theme outside of that, whose dragonborn business partner who was canonically his nearest and dearest. And you could lose sleep over what that could possibly mean if you want, but we’re never getting an actual answer, because there probably isn’t one that the devs actually thought about.

And yeah maybe Gortash just thinks dragons are cool in the most insignificant not-deep sense, or maybe it is just an exaggeration along the lines of Bane’s specific fondness for black and green dragons. Totally reasonable explanations. It could just be a huge coincidence that the only genuine friend of Gortash’s that we’re aware of in the entire scope of the game is a dragonborn.

But the fact that it’s so easy to connect those dots if you want? That’s the beauty of it. The delusion feeds itself!!!

Anon, listen.

I'm holding your face in my head and pressing my lips to your head and hugging you close to my chest so you can match heart beats with me....

Gortash technically CAN'T be wearing Bane symbols if he's gonna be a weaselly politician. You're not supposed to be worshipping Bane. But that begs the question.

Why dragons?

Cuz he just thinks they're neat?

Or is he boning one

I'm just saying. If he was supposed to be more vaguely Bane ish, he should be wearing green and black, which is certainly an evil color scheme.

But why red?

Maybe because his boyfriend is red?

But seriously, it does bother me. Like he doesn't worship Tiamat or some shit.

If it's supposed to be Bane iconography, why would he wear it at all?

Plus it isn't green...

Maybe he just got it commissioned when he was thinking of the Dark Urge.

Maybe he thought of them as fearless, and he was happy to be their equal.

to wear iconography bearing his likeness, to give himself strength.

just think about it, anon, then get back to me.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #enver gortash #dark urge #durgetash

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fangbangerghoul · 3 months

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Snippet Sunday!

Thank you as always for the lovely tag @therealgchu ! I loved your snippet and all the ones I've been able to catch so far!

I know since it is later in the day everyone is probably tagged already so if you see this; You're it!

This snippet is going to be a part of the FINAL chapter of Fleeting Pleasures!

This scene is in Delgado's POV. I can at least tell you that within this chapter you will have three different point of views. (I am sure you can guess who.)

I had a lovely time this past weekend and unfortunately none of that time was spent writing really. But the break was nice, and I am hoping soon I will have deliciousness ready to server to you all! As always thank you for reading, reblogging, commenting, and leaving kudos for this fic! It has helped make the journey all the sweeter.

Please enjoy!

He had waited long enough, been patient long enough, and there was an eager need waiting inside of him. He had let her disobedience slide the first time even though he knew what that would look like from an outside’s perspective. Delgado needed her to trust him. To want to cooperate for his legacy plans.

Ghoul – no Carmilla was skilled, durable, stubborn yes, but where other rooks had lacked beforehand, she persevered. He considered what a one-on-one match would be like between the two of them often and a part of him knew she would most likely best him no matter how ruthless he let himself be. One thing he recognized as soon as he laid eyes on her, traitor or not, was she had unbreakable willpower. The will to do whatever it took to get her where she wanted to be. Therefore, he needed her to want to be beside him whatever it took. Was it love? No. But a faux love was something he was willing to play around with if it persuaded her his way. The Crimson Fleet would always be his first but perhaps he could spare some room for a second.

The door to the command center opened from below and there she was, finally. The sound of her boots echoed throughout the room announcing her presence purposely. He knew she could move quieter than that. Her citrine eyes searched the dim room, observing every minute detail that she could absorb. Another talent he appreciated about her.

“You finally graced me with your presences, mi bellaquito.” He said loudly, purposely giving her his whereabouts, knowing her ears would lead her piercing gaze to him. Those eyes as cold as the gems that lay wait within dark caves on artic worlds.

“I heard you missed me.” Ghoul’s quip was followed by a sly smirk, giving away her amusement.

“Don’t get full of yourself now.” He tried to refrain from letting his own amusement show on his face even if his playful tone slipped. She always had an ego; it didn’t help that he had sent his own extra hands to fetch her. He started his way towards her feeling the pull of her gravity bring him in. Something he disliked but acknowledged that it was that type of presence that he needed for his mission.

“What did you want from me?” Her face was now strewn from annoyance as if he was the one pestering her. He let her forget once who was boss, but he didn’t plan to make a habit out of it.

“Tsk tsk tsk.” He wagged his gloved finger at her and shook his head. Refusing to give a real answer to her question. “I am the only one allowed to demand answers here. Like where the hell have you been so long?”

“A little bit of everywhere. Do you want to know specifics? I got the Fleet some credits and myself in the process.” Her answers were kept just as vague, and it got under his skin. Delgado saw how she bit her lip before answering. She was holding back what she really wanted to say and he wondered what it was. She was obviously going to be a handful during this meeting of theirs just by the way she stood, arms crossed as if ready to throw a tantrum.

He finally stopped in front of her, holding his breath and his temper back as much as he could. She riled him more than most. He centered his gaze onto her, tempting her to talk back again but instead he responded with a snap.

“Do you think this is a game, Rook?” He felt his nostrils flare with the hiss of his words. Her smirk was no longer amusing, his patience no longer forgiving. A part of him considered just throwing her out of an airlock and find someone else. It was making him lose his own focus. “You should be thanking me every day that you wake up breathing because I could have just as easily put a bullet in your head.”

He felt the high tension between them, their locked gazes a part of their game set in motion. He wanted her to drop the act. Delgado knew even if it wasn’t entirely intimate there was chemistry between them. He wanted her to submit with consent but with her it so far had never been that easy.

“Thank you, Delgado.” His name playfully fell off her tongue with such rebellion. Her thanks was not a real thanks but a proclamation of how she refused to give in so easy. Something he both admired and loathed.

#starfield #starfield fanfiction #delgado #ghoul vibes only #starfield delgado #fang writes #fleeting pleasures #the big finale #the coemancer crew

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greenerteacups · 9 months

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I always felt like JKR was kinda throwing Dramione fans a bone with that line from Ron egging his daughter Rose on to be academic rivals with Scorpius. Like it was her weird way of suggesting there could be this resolution of that potential in the next generation (because she definitely knew it was a popular ship and both hated that and at the same time surely knew why).

i agree! i read the scorpius/rose shiptease as a deliberate wink at fans of draco and hermione, and to ice the cake, ron follows it up with "don't get too friendly with him" and "granddad weasley would never forgive you if you married a pureblood," which — although probably innocuous, ron is just cracking a joke to defuse the tension — is still an interesting choice of joke, from the author's perspective. like, ron could have said anything to change the subject here. i think it's on purpose.

at the time i read it, being a little tween, i thought it was adorable. because frankly, it kind of just is Gen-Z Dramione. rose isn't characterized at all outside of "got your mother's brains," and it's noted explicitly that scorpius "resembled Draco as much as Albus resembled Harry," i.e., very much. so it really is a reskinned version of draco/hermione in all but name. i thought i read somewhere that Rowling was seriously contemplating a romance between rose and scorpius at some point, back when she did the pottermore postcanon stuff. nowadays i'm obviously not so much drawn to it — i mean, They're Eleven, so for me they will eternally live in that mental no-man's-land of "cool concept! get back to me when you're older." and of course, i am also a fan of a ship that would effectively render them siblings, so I can't, like... really get behind it? no matter what, i look at rose/scorpius and think: this is just a version of dramione where the characters are less fleshed-out. its only advantage is that it might conceivably, in some weird vaguely foreshadowed-slash-pottermore way, be kind of canon. and like, i'm not scared of noncanonical ships, buddy. i was born in the crackship. molded by it. i didn't see a ship I liked kiss in canon until i was already a woman, and by then it was nothing to me but fanfic inspiration.

#greenteacup asks #dramione #i do kind of look back on that moment fondly #with amusement. it was like she went #ah #party's ending #might as well give 'em something.

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tanadrin · 5 months

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...what exactly is the correct, good faith description of how common law constitutional systems work, then? i had conservative parents where extremely literal interpretation of the constitution was always assumed - never really got any perspective on living constitutionalism than that it was always just vague hogwash to justify doing whatever the speaker's exact policy preferences are. i understand that originalism/textualism as used are exactly the same, sure, but that's why i thought the only recourse was to dispense with constitutionalism and even the idea of "rights" altogether and go with a hobbes/schmitt (yes i know he's a nazi) bent. this isolates me from most other politics people on the internet a great deal, obviously! but if there's actually a case for living constitutionalism that doesn't reduce to "everything i want is always mandatory, everything my opponents want is always illegal" that can convince me that'd be great!

Originalism and textualism are not the same thing.

Originalism is the legal philosophy that the meaning of a law is based on the intent of the drafters of the law. In the U.S., this is actually not so hard a problem, because the Constitution was drafted in the 1780s, there was a big ratification debate which involved a lot of the people who participated in the drafting, and they made their own understanding of the text quite clear. Subsequent amendments were drafted even later, and like laws drafted by Congress, there are records of congressional debates and the like in which lawmakers lay out their stances very clearly.

Now, the problem with originalism as a legal philosophy is that you have to actually be good at historical research to apply it correctly. And if you are any good at historical research, and do not arbitrarily cherry-pick citations, you will unfortunately find that a lot of the dogmas of the conservative legal movement are actually not in evidence in the historical debates around the Constitution, its amendments, and significant U.S. statute laws. For this reason, among others, later conservative legal scholars have tried to make textualism a thing.

Textualism is the legal philosophy that the meaning of a law is based on the commonly understood meaning of the law at the time it was adopted. This is a weird approach! Like, I don't know much about (say) customs law, which is a complicated subject; if I tried to apply a customs law adopted in 2024 I would very probably fuck it up at some point. Even a highly trained criminal attorney or intellectual property lawyer might easily do so--the legal profession is big, and requires a lot of specialization! So why do non-expert opinions matter? And if expert opinions are what we are after, who is a better authority than the people who actually drafted a law?

Nonetheless, textualism is a highly motivated approach at avoiding the limits of originalism, and the key to applying textualism is to do your historical research even worse than if you were trying to do originalism. For example, D.C. v Heller (2008) found that the 2nd amendment protected an individual right to bear arms; but this is a terrible decision from both an originalist point of view and a textualist point of view, because we have lots of gun control legislation from much closer to the time the 2nd amendment was adopted in 1791 that would violate the 2nd amendment as interpreted in 2008; it is clear that the 2nd amendment was certainly not commonly understood at the time of its adoption to protect an individual right to bear arms, but was more about protecting the rights of states to raise and arm militias--which also happens to be consonant with a lot of the other historical evidence we have around why the 2nd amendment was adopted, and what the purpose of the Bill of Rights was, vis a vis the restraint of federal power against the states (cf. the Federalist Papers).

A big problem for any attempt at a purely deterministic, mechanistic application of law is that law is not a magical or mathematical formula with a single unambiguous meaning, because we create law through language, and that's not how human language works. Human language is not infinitely flexible, but it is equally not perfectly precise; it frequently admits ambiguity. And how we understand texts, and the values that are key to interpreting those texts, evolve over time: the U.S. Constitution clearly forbids "cruel and unusual punishment," but what is considered "cruel and unusual" in 2024 is very different from what was "cruel and unusual" in 1791. Should the literal meaning of 1791 prevail--in which case the law can only possibly regulate things which actually existed in 1791, and it's perfectly OK for the Feds to ransack your email without a warrant because it's not within your 'houses, papers, and effects'--or should the general principle which is shared between 1791 and 2024 prevail--in which case it's not insane to read the prohibition on "cruel and unusual punishment" as a prohibition on the death penalty if we come to understand the death penalty as cruel or unusual?

All texts require us to negotiate their meaning. This does not mean communication is impossible, or that a text can say anything you want it to mean. What it means is that ambiguity in communication is unavoidable. Law is an effective tool because it is a Schelling point for cooperation, which is what lets us build peaceful and ordered societies, and allows us to do politics without killing each other. Textualism and originalism not only deny the very inarguable fact of ambiguity in language, I think they work pretty hard against law being an actually useful Schelling point, and attempt to turn it into a brute exercise of power. Which is not good if you want a society to actually function!

Outside of originalism and textualism there are lots of different views on legal philosophy and they are complicated. Legal realism and legal positivism are two historically popular schools of thought. The general question of legal philosophy is called "jurisprudence," which is both thinking about what the law is and what it should be; there are literally whole textbooks on the subject. Law is complicated! There is a reason you can get advanced degrees in this stuff!

#i am not myself a lawyer #just an interested amateur #so anybody who has taken an actual jurisprudence class #feel free to weigh in

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voidcat · 2 years

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— letters to no one (life eternal)

characters: rain ghoul, gn!reader

notes & wc: mcd, angst, hurt/(little) no comfort, slice of life if you squint?, I kept the CoD vague on purpose to leave it up for interpretation but what I intended for it is between the lines. from rain’s perspective, this one is just… sad. – 1.6k

a/n: you can read this while listening to I Love You So by The Walters, mostly for the melody and the outro (and The Loneliest by Maneskin)

Out of all the ghouls, Rain has always been the sentimental one.

Shy and sensitive of the world, caring of the ones in his life, among everything, he is a collector– has always been one.

Rain has collected many things in his lifetime, and continues to do so. Be it guitar picks, instruments, note sheets of all kinds of music, for all types of instruments… as for his favorite– he likes to collect memories.

Tickets, trinkets, books old and new, notepads, even small silly doodles the other ghouls scribble on random pieces of paper-like material– anything that carries a memory within, Rain keeps it.

All the collecting and keeping, over the years his collection has only grown. Yet for all its size, he doesn’t check it, rarely going through some items again, from time to time.

To reminisce about the past, to laugh about a moment with someone else– everything else he comes across, it’s usually when he is replacing items or reorganizing the space.

That’s how he finds himself like this now.

Sitting on the floor, in the cold, in the dead of the night. The halls behind the doors remain silent, even the ghouls are asleep now.

In his hand sits an old napkin.

It has gotten filthy, probably contaminated as well ever since the time he kept it.

It is almost funny, this item of his collection was not intentional. That he just… forgot about the napkin in his pocket for a very long time, accidentally pulling it out when fishing for something else in his pockets, until one day he gave in, sure, better to have you there as well since all you do is replay that moment inside my head.

Crumpled up and some parts having a different texture than the other, he really should’ve just tossed this one out, or got it cleaned. But that would eradicate all the purpose, the memory hidden in it as well.

Rain still remembers the day, the moment itself, as clear as the fires of hell.

He can still hear the sudden breaking into a sob, a sound that clawed at his chest, the wetness he could feel on his shoulder, the way your body would shake, how you stared off into space when he wiped the tears off your face.

He hates himself for thinking like that but even then you looked beautiful.

You were never much of a crier.

Not in front of others, not even when alone with yourself, as you revealed to him once later, that you need complete darkness or to shut your eyes as tight as you could, to be able to cry, to cry in a fashion you claimed ‘proper’.

When he asked what you meant by that, your silence told him this was not a conversation for now, for another moment of vulnerability and breakdown.

The napkin in his hand again, as if you’re sitting next to him, in front of him, like back then, Rain still recalls each spot on your face that he dried, cradling your cheek, brushing strands of hair away and tucking them, knowing well how their presence could overwhelm you at times.

A part of Rain cherishes the memory as much as he hates it.

The show of trust, the vulnerability, the intimacy shared which you’ve offered him– he knows the two of you have always been close but still, this, this is something grand for your standards, for the person you are.

Hate the moment, cherish the memory– this is not a luxury Rain has when it comes to you, not anymore.

The napkin still in his hand, the small box of other trinkets by his leg, half a meter away a stack of what seems to be paper and envelopes tied together; he sits like that, in vain, waiting, thinking about nothing in particular.

Taking in a deep breath and closing his eyes, he lets his shoulders drop.

Rain misses you.

The letters ahead of him still smell like you, he makes sure of it, preserving them so your scent will remain a tad longer.

Rain has been missing you for quite some time now, for far too long.

He doesn't know how much has passed anymore but he knows it passed too much, too long, long enough to make him question while he is still here as well, has his time not come yet?

With each memory, each little thing in his collection, he honors a memory, grieves a part of you. Be it happy, sad, he is grateful he got to see so many sides of you.

This doesn’t stop him from wishing he saw more though, it never will.

Because when it comes to you, Rain is selfish.

And how can he not be? You wouldn't blame him for it if you knew, you would understand just as he does.

He does and yet, he still aches for you all the same, wishing he could be that pillar for you, that change, that escape from everything else, the reality, the people, the worries and the stress.

With you, for you, Rain becomes a selfish person, always wishing for more, hoping for more, just a little longer, a little closer, a bit more, he craves and craves as his heart aches for more, his hunger unappeased.

For ghouls, emotions do not always progress the same way they do for humans. They do not get attached like them, do not love like them, do not hate or experience sorrow like them.

Yet the beauty of feelings always precede barriers that separate them. And once they feel, they do so with an intensity, with passion, with a weight to it, putting their everything, pouring their beings into it.

Now Rain understands why they often do not allow people to have one last look.

This pain deep inside him would be tolerable, had it been few years more, an unexplained reason, something to brush off as genetics, ‘that's just how life is.’, an accident– anything to ease it, to justify the little passage of time.

In normal circumstances he should’ve felt like this years later, not thinking about how early everything is, too soon, too soon, his mind whispers at him constantly.

He understands why they explain that forbiddance to preserve the memory.

Because when Rain thinks of you now, he can see your smile, the warmth in it, but the image shifts so quickly to that neutral expression you usually wore, now to stay on your face forever– until time begins to decay, piece by piece, limb by limb you begin to disintegrate.

The feeling of your warmth replaced with how cold and heavy you’ve gotten. Rigor mortis is no joke but Rain never thought it’d feel this heavy on his shoulders.

Eyes staring blankly, away, to nothing in particular, to no one in particular, to the void and the void stares back.

Of course, not to him, rarely with him. There was a spark in your eyes, that crease in your face, how you always said your face would ache when you're with him, ‘it's because i am smiling so much, my muscles hurt.’

He was aware of the sadness laced within your explaination, but now it feels like a hammer to his chest.

And above all, Rain misses seeing the beauty of life, of love, the brightness and the warmth of the sun on you.

The color red only disgusts him now.

He never liked this look on you, the one you had on default, as you’ve explained it, the one you wore often, the one you had when nobody was watching– of course, he was, but it seems you weren’t aware, or you just didn't have any energy left in you to care. Maybe you just knew pretending would only make it worse, and offered him an honest side of you, no masks, no acting, no pretending when you’re with him.

Rain never liked how integrated with the void you were, and he hates how indifferent you look now.

As if nothing has changed, as if you were dead from the beginning, not quite living even when you were alive, save for a few exceptions– most of which you shared with him, he hopes.

It is a selfish wish, he knows, but he doesn’t have anything else to hope for at this point, except to be a source of solace when you were still with him, still laughing, still warm in his arms and not like some dead weight.

Rain always knew of the inevitable sorrow, the fate that awaited the two of you. Humans are fragile beings, they never last as long as ghouls do.

He knew this day would come eventually, accepting the risks all the same, willing to experience that gut wrenching, backstabbing, choking sorrow. Aether warned him, Papas warned him, some just looked your way with envy, some with pity–

Yet when weighing the options, a lifetime spent with you, even if just a small portion of his life, seems worth the heartache that’ll follow.

And it is, as he learns firsthand now.

All the letters you’ve written to him, for him, about him, about your life, about nothing at all, impromptu stories and poems; they sit together, tied neatly with a ribbon of your favorite color.

They still smell of you, much to Rain’s content, when he brings the stack to his face. Something to hold on to for a little longer, to keep the memory living outside his mind, to make it last for some time more.

All he can do is to hope that their infernal lord, the morningstar, offers you that peace of mind, the happiness, the ease you deserved your whole life.

That is, if you are there.

If that’s the case, maybe he can visit you some day.

Hope is all Rain has left nowadays, besides his collection gathering dust just as his heart.

#ghost band stuff #gender neutral reader #rain ghoul #rain x you #rain x reader #rain ghoul x you #rain ghoul x reader #ghost x you #ghost x reader #ghost bc fanfiction #ghost bc x reader #angst #ghost bc x you #ghost band x you #ghost band x reader

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taylortruther · 4 months

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I take that line as being purposely paradoxical, in the same vain as "forever is the sweetest con". I think a lot of Taylor's discography is about deep uncertainty and trying to fight it (echoing all the way back to the Fearless prologue even). I remember someone once pointing out that the hoax could be the love itself, or the fact that the love is faithless – and the interesting thing about the song is we don't know (drawing parallels to The Great War could be interesting here). There's a real expression of fear, which I think is all over the Joe-discography and beyond. It's got shades of False God and also Delicate in a way. There's a sense that Taylor did always feel like her love life was a frail f/ame in constant danger of being blown out. How much this was down to Joe or her own demons is impossible to say, really. Sweet Nothing and Call It What You Want provide interesting contrasts, songs about how steadfast this love is to her.

That being said, the moments of fear are probably always gonna be a bit more interesting to write about than the moments of contentment, and also the moments when Taylor is most likely to reach for the pen. Tension is what makes art interesting.

it is definitely paradoxical on purpose! hoax, as a title, pinpoints the paradox (similar to "forever is the sweetest con" in clm, which still strikes me as more romantic than hoax, because the storytelling is different.)

this is why i really hesitate saying those things are red flags. personally, i think they would be in my own relationships, but taylor is just a person working through her shit. none of us deal with everything perfectly or healthily 24/7, especially when it's our first real time experience it (in taylor's case, facing her demons head-on, breaking up entire philosophies, supporting another person in a ltr and vice versa, etc.)

only vaguely related, but this is also why i hated some of the fandom's reaction to renegade. i hated the "this is from joe's perspective, about taylor's anxieties!" reasoning because it was willfully ignoring how much work taylor told us she was doing to claw herself out of her self-destructive tendencies.

#hoax #clm

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oblivionbladetd · 5 months

Text

The Unfortunate implications of basically all of Lily's work: 99 tabs of tvtropes and a wiki.

This one's a doozy, but I'll be damned if it's not one that needs covered. As anyone who's taken a critical look at the infamous list of 100 tips could tell you, it's full of tvtropes jargon. While it will take a while to explain in full why this is awful, a shorthand exists that sums it up, "putting the cart before the horses." As in you shouldn't be pre-planning tropes at all, for like the concept of genre, it is often ascribed to the work in post. Though even that explanation is a little too economic, so as always, check under the cut for more.

I think a practical demonstration is in order, so let me set a stage. Superman has just recovered from being thrown through a wall by Darkseid, roughs him up until they are outside, talks about how dainty the world feels to him, and assesses Darkseid is capable of not dying to Supermans 'normal' and badda boom badda Bing, the codifying moment for The World of Cardboard Speech! Sure, there's literal seasons of context missing, and it notably doesn't include the ensuing beat down and subsequently bamboozling of Supe. Just him saying world made of Cardboard and presumably having the chops to deliver.

There in lies the crux of the issue. You always lose something when you boil down to tropes. As with the above example, all the little details on what makes the moment so iconic, recontextualizing the seasons of willful weakness, the implications that Superman is still not going all out and is just 'cutting loose' for the first time, none of that actually matters to the trope in a vacuum. Not to mention, one could easily break the world of cardboard speech into even more tropes or let it be absorbed into bigger, vague-er tropes.

Tropes have their place in making larger concepts more digestible and give valuable perspective in how and why these tropes crop up, but it's necessary to remember that even simple characters can embody dozens upon dozens of individual tropes! To a point that indeed trying to think about a character by just their tropes becomes an effort in arbitrarity, if not futility. Tropes are trends other people find in a work and decide to break down into small digestible chunks. Less a bible and more a smattering of quotes loosely bound together. If you are writing in accordance with tropes, you are almost inevitably trying to churn out a finished product first try, for you aren't making organic characters and scenarios, you're ticking boxes on a list. Making a personal experience impersonal. Never write with Tvtropes open.

This leads us to the equally important, but needing far fewer explanations, wiki's. Most commonly referred to as info dumping grounds for the fandoms they are built for. While being easier to sum up than tropes, it has the same glaring issue in that it rarely paints the full picture as its purpose is to speak the facts of the matter rather than live in the moment. Goes without saying that, especially as a creator, it is all too easy to pack it full with worthless knowledge and call that exercise in procrastination somehow productive.

That's when it hit me, and I knew I needed to sit down and say it. Lily has wiki's for her fanfics and tvtropes pages for them as well. The Pokemadhouse wiki, we have confirmation that she's actually did write it. The rest are only suspected, as unlike Lily, I have too much integrity to boldfacedly lie even when I'm probably right. Though enough being petty, for it hit me really hard in one key way in that creators are most certainly NOT supposed to be writing these pages, and the fact she has leaves open some unfortunate implications.

Firstly, if we are to assume that these exist as reference for Lily, that's an ill omen. It frames her work in the light of a dispassionate data keeper, for no amount of tropes will encompass a properly rounded character, along with forever fattening a public wiki page implies viewing every detail as necessary and that will be addressed in a future comic. Hell, even if Lily wasn't subject to the skewed priorities that the websites can encourage... it's still leaving your notes in a public space made for people to read. You aren't allowed to be mad that people say shit about it. Your computer came with the Notepad app.

On the flip side, the more likely explanation is vanity. It is in truth that having a tvtropes page and / or a wiki dedicated to your work is actually a huge honor, a golden glittering beacon of fan engagement as they compare notes and keep their facts straight. The fact that her tvtropes and wiki's are self authored as an attempt to fluff her ego or make her one of the big shots of the fandom world is as hilarious as it is utterly pathetic. And it is pathetic. It paints a picture of fanatical control of what people think and / or simply not being able to drum up enough fan engagement that anyone considers wiki tending worth the effort. It's literally a scam! "Look! this fic has wiki's and tvtropes pages it must be good!" Don't make me laugh. It's a chest full of medals of honor that all suspiciously look like glazed clay secured to dollar store ribbons with crazy glue.

With all that said, it really boggles my brain that people excuse the allegations leveled against Lily. Half-baked contrarian critiques and fanfiction's so unengaging that she has to manufacture the engagement herself? That's more than enough to just ignore all the real hurt she's caused to real people? The tales of Brittany, Courtney, Sunny, and Lizzy are meaningless under the ultimate creative potential of somebody who can't even both change the cadence of her voice when she's playing with her sock puppets? That somebody operates with this prolific combination of cluelessness and Vanity is just above consequences? You have to be fucking kidding me. This is why I'll be poking holes in her work. It's not that good, and definitely not on any level where anybody should avoid at least acknowledging all the awful she both has done and still perpetuates.

Pokemadhouse is nowhere near good enough, along with the things Lily is accused of being so heinous that i do hate to imagine anyone could look at Lily typing this in reference to a fictional caricature of her wife

And be anything less than deeply concerned.

#lily orchard #lily orchard is a bad writer #lily peet #lily orchard is a bad critic #lily orchard is garbage and here's why #courtney orchard #courtney peet #lily orchard is an abuser #pokemadhouse #the sith resurgence

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dreamii-yume · 7 months

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okay, i’m caught up with mikoto’s case now, but i hope that i’m not annoying you by constantly flooding your inbox. here goes my early analysis. hopefully i still got the edge for this kind of thing lol.

personally, i still think my former theory is still up for a possibility, because i find some loopholes/suspicious words and actions in both the voice drama and mv. here are the ones that bother me the most:

1. the inconsistency of what john said between the voice drama and mv. in the voice drama, he promised to disappear if we vote for mikoto being forgiven, but at the very start of the song, he clearly said that “you” (even mikoto himself) can’t get rid of him now. considering that the prisoners are probably able to lie in the interrogation but not in the mv (because it was extracted right from their brain), i want to think that john lied to us just to keep mikoto safe. and if this turns out to be correct, then we can say that he has a tendency to lie just to protect mikoto, and resulting that we can’t trust him when he desperately said that he was the one that did the killing. because there’s a chance that he was lying about that just to protect him.

2. how john was really adamant on taking the blame and insisting that he was the one doing the killing, but can’t even answer on how many did he kill because the reason was that it was vague since he was JUST born. honestly, this one is really sus to me. if he was lying, then why would he lie about not knowing something he had openly admit? but if he said the truth, then it would lead to another questions of why or when he was born. why? what was the trigger for his existence? yes, john was born to help mikoto unburdened his stress, but what was the breaking point? and also, when was he born? from his answer, we can deduct it’s probably right before, during, or even AFTER the killing happen.

3. some suspicious phrases from john. first, when he said that he’ll “take it from here”, probably talking about the breaking point that i’m questioning above, but isn’t it weird if he just woke up then suddenly killing the innocent passerby or random people because of simple reasons that they’re annoying?? it’s even weirder because mikoto will gain nothing by them being dead while john’s only purpose was to protect mikoto. mikoto himself doesn’t even know that they’re dead or that he killed them, so obviously it’s not a way to help him let off some steam. so, i still think that the phrase refers to after the killing happen, john was made to take the blame and took the sin of killing from mikoto, he’s made to deal with everything from that point.

second, when he said mikoto’s “already broken”. i’m probably overthinking on this one, but isn’t john’s purpose was sort of like to prevent that to happen? to protect mikoto from stress so he wouldn’t be broken. but if he was already broken, then what else is he protecting? probably the aftermath of him being broken.

third, the apologies at the very end of the mv. was it an apology because he made mikoto’s life harder by killing, or was it an apology because he failed to protect mikoto (1st trial)? for me personally, either is possible. but he also did say something like “if only i was never born”, so the latter was a bit unlikely.

4. the mannequins. i haven’t watched every second trial mv, but from what i remember, they mostly show the victims at the end of the mvs. but not in mikoto’s mv. they only showed the beaten up and bloodied mannequins throughout the video, but not a single living person. and, you know, we mostly see things from john’s perspective this time.

sorry that it’s a bit long, i hope you or anyone else could discuss with me about it, whether you agree or disagree about it 💙

-🍂

Don’t worry about the long message, Darling ☠️ I’m guilty about my hyperfixations too lmao

Personally, I’ve became a Mikoto/“John” apologist now so I’m a little bias, but I’ll try to stay in a “neutral” side here and explain why I think what I think lmao

1. I, too, am suspicious of “John” saying that he will disappear after Mikoto is voted innocent lol Like—Boi, is it really that easy? I doubt he can disappear just like that, because “John” was born out of Mikoto’s stress, so in order for him to disappear, we need to get rid of things that causes Mikoto’s stress. In this case, it’s Milgram itself and his surroundings, and it’s not like Mikoto will feel better if he left Milgram, you know? I think what “John” is trying to say in his interrogation is that he will at least slowly disappear if Mikoto is innocent, but I don’t think he’ll disappear completely. I choose to believe that “John” is not lying, because he understands that by coming out more often, he’s just causing Mikoto more pain. I’m not very knowledgable about DID myself, but I truly believed that the “Original Mikoto” can disappear if he got too stressed.

Also I think “John” is saying “You can’t get rid of me now” in the MV is for both us and Mikoto is genius, but I’m leaning more to the fact that it’s for Mikoto. This is because he knows that Mikoto doesn’t wish to hurt anyone, but at this point, “John” is pissed and tells Mikoto to just leave it to him if Mikoto wasn’t going to do anything. Of course, I’ll keep in mind that he could be lying in his MV too, but my dumbass will choose to believe in him lol

2. I think the reason why “John” can’t say who or how many he killed is because to him, the people he killed are just faceless nobodies. He doesn’t care about those people, because his priority was to protect Mikoto. The mannequins even feels like a symbolism for that, static and humans with no faces—Just like how “John” sees them. It’s not really known what triggered his birth in the first place, but maybe something especially traumatizing happened to Mikoto during those times? Who knows lol But I think he was born at that exact moment, at least that’s what he said during the interrogation.

3. His first line in the MV was interesting, but the english subs are kinda lacking the emotion of what he actually said. Instead of “I’ve got you, leave it to me”, he was more frustrated in Japanese and saying something that goes more like “Ah! Fuck it, let me do it for you” lol

And Yeah, “John” is definitely saying sorry for making Mikoto’s life even harder, because killing those irritating people was probably the only thing he knew of what to do at that moment. In the interrogation, I did remember “John” being confused when he born, I think it just came second-nature to him on what to do.

4. And yep, I’ve said it before but I believe the mannequins are symbolism of “John” not knowing the people he killed. They’re all the same and faceless to him lol

Theorizing is fun! Obviously, we don’t have the same idea now, but it’s great sharing what I think with people lol

#milgram #mikoto kayano

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magnetarbeam · 2 months

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Recovering Herself (WIP 4)

[I've moved some scenes around to hopefully flow better, and added another scene from Zekk's perspective, although you can still surely tell that I don't know him nearly as well as Jaina and Jag. The scene that used to be third and is now second has also been cut down a bit for pacing.]

”Jaina, as your commanding officer, I’m ordering you to take today off. No training, no strategizing, nothing. Report to me first thing in the morning. At that time, if you think you need another day off, I require you to tell me so. You’ll get it.”

With his characteristic military precision, Jag left. Zekk followed a moment later, his impressed surprise registering only distantly in Jaina’s perceptions.

A day off. The concept was almost an alien one to her. Thinking back, Jaina found herself astounded, barely able to believe that it hadn’t even been a year since the first of the atrocities committed by the creature Jacen had become. The series of events had so consumed her emotionally that it might as well have been a decade.

Her service in Starfighter Command after the Yuuzhan Vong War had given her periods of leave, naturally, but it had always felt like a waste. All she had to give for the galaxy - almost all she was - was to find the next fight, and win it. She was the Sword of the Jedi, never supposed to know peace.

Under any other circumstance, an order like the one she’d just received would have stirred up a fierce resentment in Jaina for stripping her from her purpose, however temporarily. This time, though, as her mind began to process the events that had just happened, she was just numb.

She had almost killed Jag, merely for the act of embarrassing her. As Jaina thought it through more, the carefully constructed mental barriers started to break. It was a rush of emotion of such intensity that Jaina found herself driven to tears. Shock and guilt and confusion poured through the widening cracks. There was something else there, too, a sentiment that, despite everything, she was not prepared for.

Love.

Flooded as she was by long-repressed emotions, Jaina couldn’t find it in herself to resist the notion that maybe she really did need a break. Jag, blast him, had probably predicted and counted on exactly that.

Although she still had no idea what to do with a break, she realized there were people that might.

Jaina turned and climbed the boarding ramp of the Falcon.

---

"How do I take a break!?" Jaina asked in a near-panic.

Her mother raised an eyebrow. "First of all," she advised, "calm down."

Jaina took several deep breaths, attempting to enter a light meditative trance to center herself in her environment. For the first time since this mess started, she was reasonably successful. Though Leia had much less experience in harnessing it, her signature in the Force burned just as bright as that of her brother the Grand Master, and its reassuring light offered a beacon of calm that Jaina only now realized she'd missed across all the months that they'd been separated.

Even as she placed herself tenuously in the eye of her storm of emotions, and returned her focus to her physical surroundings, Jaina didn't let go of the lifeline that her mother's mental touch represented.

"I think I should handle this one,” Han advised Leia. "Even after all these years, I'm not sure you know the answer."

After a moment of feeling vaguely affronted, Leia sighed. "I wish I could argue with that."

Han stood up from the Falcon's pilot seat. He pointed to it, and told Jaina, "Sit down."

Jaina sat, feeling weirdly like a child being put in time-out.

"Now,“ her father said, "Tell me why you don't know how to take a break."

”I'm the Sword of the Jedi," Jaina told him instantly. The words came to her without effort, without even particular emotion. ”Just a weapon. Weapons aren't supposed to need rest, or companionship, or anything other than someone to wield it and something to be wielded against."

Leia's agonized despair at those words blasted through the Force. The surge came as such a shock that Jaina reflexively tried to reel back from the mental contact, but her mother didn't let her, holding on with a fiery protectiveness of a magnitude that Jaina wasn't sure she'd ever felt before.

Han, moving so fast that Jaina didn't even sense the intent beforehand, slammed his fist into the transparisteel viewport. He could not damage it, of course, but Jaina distantly registered a flare of physical pain under his cold fury, a fury aimed not at Jaina or Leia, but at the galaxy and universe and Force that had made his daughter believe such a thing.

A few moments passed in a tense silence, where it seemed like none of them really knew what to say. In the tide of emotions directed at her by her mother, Jaina sensed currents of lament and longing and the same kind of righteous indignation that Leia had always shown in the face of injustice. It took a second for Jaina to connect those to the flashes of memory and realize that it added up to one message:

You deserve better.

Before Jaina could react to that, her father found his voice.

"Now put your feet up on the instrument board."

Jaina blinked in surprise. "What?"

"Like this." Leia, still in the copilot's seat, leaned back as much as the chair would allow, and showed Jaina what Han was talking about. "It's easy."

"Oh, so now you-" Han started to complain to his wife.

"I've seen you do it enough times," Leia told him with a nonchalance that was clearly forced.

Reluctantly, Jaina did as requested, making sure not to actually kick any of the controls out of their alignments.

“How does that feel?” her father asked.

“...Weird,” Jaina settled on after a moment, really not wanting to try to describe in detail the emotions induced by an informality so emblematic of her father's classic independent spirit and disrespect for authority.

That thought provoked another association that hit her square in the heart. Jaina had once been like that, hadn't she?

For a second, she wasn't sure.

Then she started to remember.

"Now," her father said, "tell us again what you told us before. About being a weapon."

”I'm the Sword of the Jedi," she repeated. The habitual statement, that she had drilled into herself for what felt like it might as well have been her entire life, struck her as curiously at odds with her casual posture that felt like it should be accompanied by sarcasm and insults.

"Just a weapon." But that wasn't true, was it? A sword didn't have emotions, but after what had just happened, Jaina found that she had to acknowledge that despite her best efforts, she did have emotions.

"Keep going," Han encouraged with a stern tone that, only now, Jaina realized wasn't reflective of his actual feelings.

"Weapons aren't supposed to..."

They were the words of a Jedi Knight who had more skill and experience than almost any other.

They were the words of a soldier, whose entire life had been defined by combat and death and suffering.

They were the words of the Sword of the Jedi, to whom the title was to be interpreted as literally as possible.

But right now, she didn't feel like any of that.

These were the emotions of Jaina Solo, daughter of Han Solo's brash, reckless independent streak and Leia Organa's selfless empathy.

These were the emotions of Jaina Solo, who couldn't pay attention to a history lesson but lost almost two days hyperfocusing on disassembling and reassembling the enthrallingly complicated internal workings of the first Incom StealthX starfighter delivered to the Jedi.

These were the emotions of Jaina Solo, who lasted twenty-seven minutes and twenty-seven seconds in the Lando's Folly asteroid run, beating out the previous record holder, Kyp Durron, more than two to one.

Finally the contrast was too much, too strange, and Jaina could no longer contain herself.

She laughed.

She laughed like she never had before.

It was like the long-awaited discharge of a capacitor charged with all the joy she hadn't had the luxury of experiencing since the Yuuzhan Vong War began.

The time that passed could have been ten minutes or ten hours. Jaina didn't know. What she did know was that she was laughing, and so were her parents, and for at least this moment, the weight of the galaxy had been lifted from her shoulders.

———

She was laughing.

Zekk stopped in his tracks when he felt the surge of joy.

Jaina's catharsis rang in his mind almost as clearly as if it was his own (the fact that that had briefly been true was something they both put considerable effort into not thinking about), but Zekk still experienced a moment of stunned disbelief before he let himself believe that it was real.

The fact that it had been Jag who had finally gotten through to her sparked a flare of jealousy - she cares about him more than me - but Zekk decided it was not welcome. If anything, the fact that he hadn't been able to come up with something that would have accomplished that result was his personal failure.

Either way, it had finally happened.

That meant there were amends to make.

---

“You’re still working?”

Had Zekk spoken thirty seconds sooner, Jag’s jolt of surprise might very well have led to the new wiring from the blaster’s power pack connecting prematurely to the timer he hadn’t yet programmed, causing the entire device to blow up in his face. As he turned to face the tall Jedi, it occurred to Jag that Zekk had probably realized that.

“What?” Jag asked, a hint of bitter hostility creeping into his voice out of habit.

Zekk scrutinized him in silence for a second, and Jag realized his tone. He was surprised to find he didn’t feel that resentment anymore. For months, Zekk had been an annoyance. They worked together well enough on a professional level, but they didn’t get along personally. Jag wasn’t too proud to admit to himself that part of it was the competition over Jaina, who had entertained romantic affections for both men at different times in her life, but he was too proud to admit it to anyone else.

Now, Jag wasn’t sure where he and Zekk stood.

“But after today,” the other man had said not an hour ago, “I’m exceedingly proud to have you as a comrade-in-arms.”

Zekk still didn’t particularly like him. That much was clear from the array of insults that had preceded the statement. But maybe…

“Come on,” Zekk told him, his tone suggesting that he was disappointed somehow. “You finally get through to her like that, and then you just hole up in your workshop?”

“I still have important work to do,” Jag reminded him matter-of-factly.

“So do I,” Zekk said. “So does Jaina. And you just gave us days off.

“Why don’t you deserve a break too?”

Jag silently struggled to find an answer to that. The Chiss, even as disciplined as they were, still understood the importance of mental health. An individual driven to their breaking point by stress and anxiety would not be able to perform their role. The CEDF had given its soldiers leave just as any effective fighting force had to.

But Jag was no longer welcome in the Ascendancy or its military. He had devoted himself to hunting down and killing Alema Rar because it was all he had left. That was a fact he was absolutely not ready to admit.

“I’m the commanding officer,” he answered, trying to inject strength into the words, and to summon emotions that would read like he believed that that was the answer.

Zekk instantly rolled his eyes, clearly seeing through the lie, but he thankfully chose not to call it out. Instead, he changed tactics.

“I’ve known Jaina longer than you have,” he reminded Jag. “I knew her before the Vong hit, back before she had any reason to think she was a weapon.

“She doesn’t need a commander right now. She needs a friend.”

That implication stopped Jag short.

“Am I your friend?” Jag asked.

That prompted another second of silence as Zekk presumably considered it.

“Not to me. Not yet,” Zekk admitted with a sigh. “But it’s what she needs, and I want to stop fighting.

“When this thing with Alema started,” he said bluntly, “I didn’t trust you. Jaina was starting to shut out anyone and anything that wasn’t about her goal, and I didn’t think you’d help because you were doing the exact same thing.”

The statement struck Jag with the emotional equivalent of a 720-teraton heavy turbolaser shot. Zekk was right. The anger over Jaina’s part in Jag’s exile had gone unchecked since it happened, and it had led him to say things to her that he’d already come to regret. He’d tried to reduce Jaina to a subordinate in a military command structure. But he hadn’t really succeeded, had he?

“I’m the last person to preach about mental health,” Zekk continued, “but what you did back there tells me you’ve come back from that.”

Jag took a second to find a response.

“I haven’t forgiven her yet,” he told Zekk matter-of-factly, their eyes meeting. "I still don't know if I'll ever be able to.

"But she's important to me." Jag's resolve hardened his words to the density of battleship-grade neutronium. "Her brother's actions are already causing her enough pain. Anything I can do to help her through this is more important right now than trying to hold a grudge over something that happened years ago.

"And you're right." Conceding to Zekk on such a personal matter, Jag found, no longer carried the sting that it would have only a few months ago. "I didn't help at first."

The guilt brought on by that admission was painful by itself, but Jag had never refused to take responsibility for his mistakes. "If I had let myself be there for her when we met again, maybe it wouldn't have gone this far."

Zekk shrugged indifferently. "Maybe. Maybe not. It's not like this is new for her."

Jag nodded in agreement. "True."

"Either way," he continued decisively, "I bear some responsibility here. For that reason, at the very least, I owe her this."

Zekk gave an amicable smile, which Jag supposed came from relief or gratitude.

The modifications to his blaster were not finished, but still Jag sealed the weapon in its case, leaving it fully prepared for further progress.

As they made their way back to the hangar, Jag steadfastly tried not to think about the familiar way his heart had skipped a beat at that smile.

#star wars legends #legacy of the force #jaina solo #zekk #zekk solo fel #jagged fel #han solo #leia organa #jaina x jag x zekk

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anghraine · 1 year

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I saw a post awhile back that was up in arms at the idea that fandom meta could be considered literary criticism in any sense, without giving much in the way of arguments for why that's wrong beyond "how dare!!! your silly shipping manifesto isn't literary blahblahblah."

It's obviously deeply akin to the gasp! horror! at comparisons of prestigious literature that re-purposes specific characters and events from other sources to fanfic. And the way in which the responses are mostly akin, IMO, is that in nearly all cases, they use vague scorn in the place of substantive argument. The argument is usually phrased along the lines of "how dare!!! your silly A/B/O slash fic isn't literature blahblahblah."

Both arguments (basically the same argument) rely on a) using very specific subtypes of meta/fic that the speaker obviously holds in contempt to stand in for the entirety of the broader genre (e.g., just going with AO3, ~146,000 of its over 10 million works are tagged with A/B/O, while less than half are m/m slash). The point isn't that the genres used are actually representative; rather, they're used to provoke disdain or disgust in place of some kind of coherent criteria for literary criticism/literature that could consistently distinguish fanworks from prestigious works or genres.

I actually agree that some commonly-cited works are not really fanfic (especially religious texts written by adherents of the religion in question), and if you've followed me for awhile, you probably know I have a lot of issues with a ton of popular fandom meta and fanon takes. At the same time, the idea of a hard line between (say) meta and literary criticism in terms of approach or quality just seems kind of absurd to me.

Let's be real, if you're in literary criticism, you know that some of it is really bad, and if you're in fandom, you've probably encountered very insightful meta at some points. There's a lack of quality control as with fanfic, sure, but that doesn't mean that meta is intrinsically inferior or fundamentally different from all forms of literary criticism, just that a higher proportion is likely to have problems that would often (though not always) be caught through peer review. At the same time, it allows people (including literary critics) to reach others without the problems of the journal system (inaccessibility/paywalls, glacial turn-around, etc).

So there are differences on the gatekeeping front, sure. And there are different conventions and certain theoretical approaches that tend to be treated as gospel more often in fandom than in some areas of lit-crit (fandom meta tends strongly towards anti-intentionalism, for instance). I'm not saying that formal literary criticism and fandom meta are customarily identical in style or perspective, but that they are fundamentally related. At the end of the day, they are sustained interpretations of stories, whether they're particularly good ones or not, and the distinction is more of a spectrum than a line anyway. I don't think fanwriters are wrong or mistakenly defensive in seeing a connection there when there so obviously is one.

Additionally, the argument-by-cultural-disdain (in addition to being just generally poor argumentation) is often extremely presentist. It's grounded in contemporary assumptions about the nature of literature, interpretation, and originality, for both meta and fanfic, that are wildly ahistorical when applied to things like early modern English drama. And people who use that argument tend to also be completely uncritical about the modernity of their assumptions, so there's that, too.

Usually, the argument seems to be "and don't mention Shakespeare, that's different" without any evidence or argument for why, beyond sometimes, again, falling back on vague contempt ("so you're saying fanfic is equivalent to Shakespeare now?"). Like, why should originality be a defining quality of literature for some things but not others? Deflecting onto the question of quality doesn't answer that.

(It especially doesn't when you consider that early modern "quality control" for works in English typically involved patronage from aristocrats or being one yourself, and the ability to navigate heavy state censorship—which I assume the "fanfic is not literature, somehow all early modern storytelling of any quality is tho" people are not advocating for.)

Now, I don't personally think Shakespeare et al. wrote fanfic, but for me, it's not a matter of quality but of the fandom context. Fanfic, in my view, intrinsically rises out of fandom, and though it can overlap (sometimes very heavily) with other kinds of derivative works in terms of tropes etc, it has to be part of a fandom's activity (not necessarily Western media fandom, but something recognizable as a fandom) to really "count" as fanfic. It also has to be intended as fiction, even if inspired by real life. Many of the usual examples don't satisfy those criteria for me, so I don't consider them fanfic.

These don't mean that fanfic can't ever qualify as literature, can't be analyzed in literary terms, whatever, but that a lot of other things don't qualify as fanfic. It's a stricter category. And that's my own definition—other people's may differ, though I think mine is pretty common (if often unspoke

#anghraine babbles #general fanwank #fanfiction #anghraine's meta #though this is more #anghraine rants #i actually wrote like four more paragraphs but decided that was probably enough. just maybe.#long post #ivory tower blogging

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nitrosodiumfmp · 2 months

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A Greater Look at Architecture

When I visit places, I often take pictures of interesting or striking buildings, so I have a good catalog of references to look at when planning the look of Sinister's city.

This image shows a large grey-brown brick building, sporting an almost brutalist clock tower. In the foreground, there is also another building of the same material and style, but with a rounded corner. Without all the colouring of the atmosphere and light objects, Sinister's buildings end up looking very similar to this one. It's an architectural style I think looks very grim and dystopian, while also appearing quite interesting. It's also pretty timeless. A lot of the images I plan to show have a blend of time periods, but this one seems entirely out of time. I want to say it adheres to the style from the 60s and 70s, but it could've been from way earlier too. If it's not apparent as well, I really like towers. A skyline with varying heights of buildings creates a very striking silhouette - you have the multiple light towers from the test map, and the Dock map has the light-tower on the left of spawn, and the gear-covered turret on the right side. It can also create a sense of oppression, which links to the more dystopian trappings of this building style - the sky is crowded by manmade pillars of stone, practically blotting out the sun.

This is a series of walkways between two old red-brick industrial buildings. Once again, it seems very out of time, and makes me think of various TF2 maps (which I did briefly speak about when trying to pin down Sinister's aesthetic). It was built for a purpose, obviously, but there's this strange crookedness to it as well. That window... doesn't look real. Not once have I seen anything through it.

Here's a more metropolitan setting. The skyscrapers in the back are in the more contemporary "slab of glass" style of the 21st century, but the ones in the foreground adhere to an almost Art Deco look. Tiered roofs, curved bits, interesting and blocky silhouettes, they almost resemble something from 1920s New York. I love that look (definitely lifted from my childhood love of Bioshock), and it retains a sort of timelessness about it too. If I had to hazard a guess, these ones here were probably built in the 80s or 90s, but buildings have had that silhouette for up to a century before.

This image, like most showing the docklands, was frantically taken from a coach window. It shows a wide open street, a concrete overpass, and various grey-brown tower blocks in the back. They're grimy and vaguely brutalist, very likely residential buildings. One thing that I don't plan to replicate; this part of the city is very wide open, with ample space for both vehicles on the road and pedestrians on the pavement. If you haven't noticed, I built most of the Dock map without a distinction between road and street. It was built as a game level before a real-life place, and on an immersive level, it wasn't designed around the tenets of modern city planning. The largest things to go through the streets are Equalizers and those big carts, used for moving boats around the Dock area. Otherwise, they are basically labyrinthine and narrow, similar to how Gotham was portrayed in Batman (1989).

This is another image showcasing a blend of architectural styles. On the left, in the foreground, there are some classical buildings; with their jutting turrets and spires, they're a hallmark of any vaguely historic town. Notice that they also curve around the street, a juxtaposition with the buildings on the right. These were probably built in the 70s, and while it's not an amazing look artistically, the way that the perspective makes all the blocks layer onto each other is certainly an interesting look. Then we have the outlier; the tower on the left, in the background. It doesn't seem to adhere to any time period I know of, and it also seems very out of place. It also seems fake or too small, like it's a veneer of an actual building. It's a look that reminds me of Half Life 2 - in that game, all the city skyscrapers are really small, but are projected much larger then they actually are in the skybox. If you play Gmod, you can fly out into the distance and find a tiny city block, and if you stand in it, you'll appear gigantic alongside the buildings on the horizon. The whole blend of slightly depressing tower blocks and assimilated historical buildings does look like Half Life 2, if only slightly.

I took all these images with purpose (apart from 4, which was an impulsive snap), as they appear almost as dioramas of real places; curated snapshots. Maybe it's this way that my brain works that has led me to pursuing game design, but isn't a tiny snapshot of an implied larger location a video game level? In Image 1, the clock tower creates an imposing, distinctive silhouette, leading the player in. In Image 2, the walkway appears fake because it's not an area the player will ever be in. In Image 3, the layering of skyscrapers with the more distinctive ones at the front create the illusion that the block is larger than it actually is. In Image 5, the street level is more detailed, while the skyscrapers imply a larger cityscape, despite the fact that the player will never be able to enter them. I believe the designers of Bioshock once said in an interview or something that they built each part of the game as an area in a theme park. They're a playable area designed to feel like a real place. It's this sort of philosophy that I've taken to heart, although perhaps unintentionally. The Dock, for example, is two warehouses and a waterfront of four shops. But you get the idea of what it's supposed to be. The cityscape beyond the seawall is a hodge-podge of blocks, but you understand that it implies a greater city area that the player can't reach yet.

I'm going to use the same line of thinking in the City level. It's not an actual city, it's a tiny approximation of a city for you to play through.

#devlog #gamedev #indiedev #indiegamedev #nitrosodium #indie dev #indie game #indie game dev #indie games

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