#it’s also how I feel doing homework

[frmulcahy]

When discussing how unhinged the Doctor is, I don’t think this moment is brought up nearly enough

#it’s also how I feel doing homework #this scene will always be hilarious #eight was just absolutely deranged #HE ATE A RAT IN ONE OF THE AUDIO DRAMA EPISODES #he deserves more love from the fandom smh #doctor who #eighth doctor #8th doctor #paul mcgann

[eshithepetty]

I love terumob. They're so funny. Name another dynamic in which:

They start off by one of them beating the shit out of the other and strangling them to unconciousness. Despite this, the one who wins, by wide margin even, is actually the one who got strangled, because it just so happens that he has an all powerful eldritch entity locked inside him that tears everything to pieces and flings the other into the stratosphere in response. Y'know, as one does

The next time they meet, they acknowledge none of this, and instead immediately act buddy buddy to save the strangled kid's emo brother from a terrorist organisation.

And oh yeah, the terrorist organisation is a thing now. Apparently the one who got flung to the stratosphere, the blond one, knows them because they've been targetting him? And he just lives alone?? At 14??? Where are his parents

Which is to say, not surprising that this middle schooler is perfectly ready to torture a grown man, actually. If you think about it a little bit.

And its funny because the one who got strangled, bowl cut guy, is like, real moral right? Like thats his whole thing - he just really wants to be a good person, and he wants others to be good people as well. And yet, here he is, perfectly content to hang out with someone who doesnt even blink at potentially murdering a guy.

The murdering torturing middle schooler is also a delinquent leader and a popular kid btw, did you know. Well, he was at least, until he went dramatic in the opposite direction and now dresses like if a claires waste bin and a haystack had a baby. And bowl cut is decidedly, Not any of that. He's the most normal guy ever actually.

They literally couldn't be further from each other in personality.

How are they friends.

They make no sense <3

And yet maybe they make sense after all because bowlcut wants to be better, and because of him, haystack also wants to be better. Maybe they both see each other for what they could never be. Maybe they both see in each other the best versions of them. Maybe it's the self recognition through the horribly, extremely other. Maybe it's the easy acceptance. Maybe it's the self growth.

Maybe they make sense after all.

But in the end, over all this mushy shit, it's just extremely funny, that the world's most arrogant, immoral and prideful middle schooler, with fancy hair and neat clothes and many girlfriends and flourishing prospects can get literally sent through the clouds One time by an autistic kid in a bowlcut and immediately decide to turn his whole life around, centering on the axis of this one average, not-average boy - adopting his philosophy, ruining his wardrobe, abandoning his heterosexuality, while underneath it remaining still the boy with no parents and no intrinsic morals and no real humble bone in his body. Because if he's not the best, he's gotta be the best at aknowledging he's not the best. And he's so funny.

They're silly.

And i love them.

#mob psycho 100 #mp100 #terumob #kageyama shigeo #hanazawa teruki #meta #(kinda) #also as of s3 haystack has also now learned how to override brainwashing through his gay ass feelings. so thats fun #i didnt include that cause i wrote this before these eps happened jdbdjd #anyways #i need to do homework 😔 #ramble #my own post

[martyryo]

I love him

#artists on tumblr #digital art #illustration #art #doodle #terrifier #art the clown #clown #horror #horror movie #splatter #pink #sketch #he's such a cutie patootie #epitome of silly #doodle from school cause I feel my motivation draining out my body lately #uhh might draw the narrator stock image tmrw depends of how much homework I need to do #also wanted to render it cause lately all I've done are white and pinkish flat pixel srawings wjhdbwbe #m art yryo

[love-bokumono-fics]

We've got another scant week of fresh crops, so I'm taking it upon myself to assign some completely voluntary homework:

Writers: Your assignment this week is to open up one of your WIPs and write seven new sentences. Not edit seven sentences. It's far too easy to open up a document, make a few edits, and call it writing. Particularly if you're stuck in the mire of writer's block. But write seven, whole, brand new to the story sentences.

If you don't have any WIPs, then challenge yourself and try to write a Seven Sentence Story. Challenge yourself to see what you can convey in a limited space. See how far you can really stretch one sentence by making it a run-on to end all run-ons.

Readers: Your assignment this week is to leave comments. Either challenge yourself to leave a seven sentence comment on a story, or leave comments (of whatever length) on seven different stories. Whether you find new stories or go back into your bookmarks and history to comment (or re-comment) on a favorite story is up to you.

For Extra Credit: Do both! Writers, don't forget to encourage others in the fandom. You know how much a comment can mean to you, imagine how much it might mean to someone else. Let's remember that fandom is a community, and creativity flourishes in encouraging environments. Readers, step into the shoes of a writer and try a Seven Sentence Story. I don't care if you've never written anything creatively before, or you think you can't write. It's seven sentences, it won't hurt you to try. Even if you never share it, that's a story you made that nobody else could have. Rejoice in that!

#I'm definitely not making this as a callout post for myself. *shifty eyes* nope definitely not #to work on some long-neglected WIPs and also to remember to participate in the community more #anyways. if you do the homework feel free to share what you've done. #or don't if you don't feel like it. #we've just had some very slow weeks recently. and I personally know how much writer's block can feel like an inescapable mire #until you get that tiniest kick of inspiration and suddenly things are flowing again

[callmetippytumbles]

Just write a response they said. It wouldn’t take long to write.

How it’s going:

LOL I honestly believed I was gonna keep that short.

🥴

#so since i cannot annotate your post directly like comments on google docs or word i picked a section and commented #this is just about the black hair section #i am about halfway through the actual essay itself - writing commentary as i read #it started simple enough by asserting kiara’s hair choices are part of how she assimilates into cordonian upper class society #then…it grew #also i never played the ‘drake pranks kiara’ scene in a way that he messes with her hair product…EVER* #*that i remember and i feel like i would remember something like that #3400 words later and i am only *now* getting to talking about actual hair products and how your location can affect access to them #see what you do to me lizzybeth?!? #and i have javascript homework to finish 😳🥴🥲

[anonymocha]

my meds kicked in (neg) and it brought back my irrational fear of my art reaching twitter and people making a double-digit pages callout document of me

#mochats #sorry for not replying or doing my homework my tummy aches #twitter makes me anxious #idk why but it feels very alienating to me #tumblr is like a safe space to me? this is a place where i can dgaf and mean it #twitter on the other hand... feels like walking on glass shards #hence why my account is DEAD #my ass will not survive the winter (twitter) #also i hate how there's very little tagging system thete #like how tf do i find my yuri #i hate webbed sites with bad tagging systems #makes it hard to filter things AND find things you like #i also suddenly feel guilty for my lesbianism #one must imagine a gay goy happy #i took my antibiotics wrong and now my brain wants to rot mfw

[achaotichuman]

Consuming

This is an original piece, I made. 2nd POV. Entails a character who sees and feels death around them and what happens when they finally meet them.

Trigger Warning- Slight horror and gore.

You’d seen death before. 

Knocking on the window, standing in the corridor. Waiting outside of hospitals you drove past. You’d always known it was there. 

Okay, maybe you hadn’t seen death himself. But you could feel his presence. Looming over the cradle of your dying baby brother. Standing in the corridor that let to your grandmother’s bedroom. Waiting at hospitals that housed the sick and injured. 

When your brother died you were sitting up in your bed. You had awoken because of a strange dream. You had been jumping on a trampoline, when you flipped you never hit the netting below. Rather you floated, staring at the sky as it began to erupt in a lightshow of flames. Fire fell down upon, lighting up the trees and consuming the earth. You felt at home in the heat. 

Your body jolted awake, and as you looked over across the room, to the old cradle that had been put in your room. You felt him. Standing there. You imagine what he looked like. Maybe like in the movies with a black coat and scythe. You thought about what his skin would look like. Maybe pale as the white cotton sheets squeezed between your then small chubby fingers. Or perhaps darker than your brown teddy bear, fallen to the floor from your thrashing sleep. 

When your brother’s breath was stolen, you felt ice in your veins. You didn’t remember what happened next, but then again it was so long ago. 

The next time you felt him was when your grandmother died. Middle of the afternoon with the lazy sunlight gleaming in through the windows. Splattering across your face, you felt its warmth as something distant, when the coldness overtook you again. Locking your limbs in place. You knew he was here as the panic throbbed through your chest. But what is a six-year-old to do when they feel something is wrong but are too young to understand what death is? You knew he was there but understood him as a child understood how math worked. It simply was something, a concept but not registered as something important to them. 

So you stared, as your mother passed you to bring your grandmother soup, she had been feeling ill lately. You listened to her open the door and call her mother, then ask again in a more panicked tone. Before the sound of the soup bowl shattering to the ground rang through the house. Your mother began to scream and you began to cry. 

Yes, you had seen death before. But not like this. You had observed him, watched him, felt him. Like winter passing through the world. But you had never met him. 

You were in a dream, you knew you were. Everything was nothing like the real world. 

You stood in a corridor. That same corridor. You heard a baby crying. Screaming, it was in pain, you felt it. You knew it in your veins. Panic was rising in your, begging for your body to go after the infant, but you could not move. Not even as you thrashed against invisible restraints. 

Death was nothing like what you thought. He was no mere man. 

You hadn’t used your life well. You had done horrible things, things that could be retold in a documentary. Or in some twisted up tv show. 

For that, you thought, this must be punishment. That your death would not be so kind. Your death would be brutal and slow. 

Down the corridor, it seemed never ending. The baby kept crying and you recognised it’s shrieks as your helpless brother, whom you had not even tried to save from the grip of death. 

From a door in the corridor. Slowly it creaked open. Tears were streaming down your face. Your vision was whiting in and out. 

You saw a head, a smile on it’s face. A smile too wide to be human. Reaching from ear to ear. It had no nose, but two eyes too small to be human. It stared at you, you stared at it. Unable to scream and unable to run. 

It’s neck became visible. 

It kept extending, out and out. A tentacle-like limb, it came towards you. Still smiling, still grinning like it enjoyed your thrashing. 

You tried to scream, you tried to scream so much you felt blood running down your throat, yet your mouth remained sealed shut. 

It stopped before you. It asked you, “Why are you here?”

You spoke, but the words were not yours. Like a puppet you were toyed with, like you had toyed with others in your life. Blood dribbled down your chin as you said, “For I am stained with blood that is not mine. For I was a creature unworthy of being called human.”

It’s sharp, bloodstained teeth glimmered in moonlight. Shining bright from the windows of the corridor. 

“Then as you consumed gluttony and hatred. I will consume you.”

It let you scream your pain and suffering as those gnashing teeth descended upon your skin. 

Yes you had seen death, you heard and felt him. 

Now you met him. 

And you truly felt him in every weeping part of your body, as he desecrated you. 

#why did i feel the need to make this you ask? #I actually made it for a certain someone's homework who also happens to just suck that bad at english #then i remembered how competitive i am in english #and realised they would get all the praise from their teacher and decided #well fuck you imma get praise from strangers online #original work #original writing #my story #give me 25 bucks and i'll do your english homework for you #she didn't give me twenty bucks tho #just her unconditonal love #which is good enough but only from her #writing #writiers on tumblr #writing and reading #books and reading

[solvicrafts]

Just saw some people saying that the Loki s2 finale was crap because it wasn't approached with a Christian perspective.

Loki is based off of the Norse deity, you absolute chucklefucks.

#loki #there are things I do and don't like about the series and tbh I'm still not sure how I feel about the finale #BUT the symbolism was clearly meant to pay homage to Norse mythology #and it's not like this is the first time it's come up just in this season alone #fuck's sake it was even hinted at like 2 episodes ago #if anything I'm fucking glad they did their homework and tried approaching this series from a pagan perspective #ESPECIALLY given the history of Christianity and the Nordic pagan faiths #every second I think about this absolute garbage take on the series it gets even more gross #I legitimately do not understand Christians being 'fans' of a /pagan/ character that is also very very queer #and then just erasing everything pagan and queer about him #I used to see this all the time back in the day with RPers that would say in their bios that they didn't allow slash shipping with him #specifically because it offended their religion #WHY FIXATE ON THIS CHARACTER THEN? #there's nothing wrong with being Christian and being a fan of the character for the record #I follow Christians who love this series and character so don't get it twisted #BUT THERE IS SOMETHING /VERY/ WRONG WITH DECIDING THAT THE PAGAN PERSPECTIVE ON A PAGAN CHARACTER IS BAD AND WRONG #BECAUSE IT'S NOT CHRISTIAN AND/OR BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T GET YOUR STRAIGHT SHIP OUT OF IT

[calpalsworld]

i missed turning an assignment in on time for the first time this schoolyear 😦

#it may have been because i was drawing sexy windows. but it was also because i became mentally ill after drawing her #i did not quickly finish it before the deadline. instead i was just mentally ill... and layed there being mentally ill... #how could i let this happpen... this never hapoens to me.... #and now idk if ill get tomorrow or fridays homework done because todays homework isnt done. so. what am i gonna do... #my life is about to fall apart #i feel it

[chrisbangs]

hello... (and bye ig 👋)

#👋😭 hi... #i haven't come on in about a month and i didn't realize a month passed by like that... i've kinda stopped using any apps on my phone #i barely even talk to my friends anymore lol 😭 #i just saw my follower count this morning and realized i hit 13k and i was like 🥸 huh... #uhhhhhhh 😭 idk i wanted to say thank you i guess 🫂 #i'm done with stayblr and tumblr in general 😭 this much has been obvious for a while now... i tried to fit myself back in during 5star but #i think i realized i've outgrown the vibes here and in online spaces in general... i don't really enjoy it anymore 😭 which is weird cause #i've used tumblr since i was in middle school so 🫡 end of an era some would say... #i think it sucks because i don't have the same feelings about this place or skz or anything in my life right now... i tried to ignore it bu #it's so obvious now that the entirety of december passed without me really talking to a single person / without me using social media / #without me really doing much except for like homework and assignments lmao #i think genuinely i've stopped enjoying everything i used to like and i don't know why 😭 it hit me the other day bc i don't even enjoy #pc collecting anymore which is CRAZY considering how much time and money i've put into that hobby so 👋🥸 who knows what goes on #i haven't consumed any skz content since rockstar dropped 😭 and that also feels weird to me... idk... i would say maybe i'm going through a #depressive episode but i don't really feel how i do then... i think i'm just tired like i always am and that's just how i am now .. i think #i'm just not really interested in things anymore? weird but .. yeah idk😭 if i knew what was wrong i would Fix It sndjdndkd mostly i'm just #sad because i haven't been talking to friends... i keep ignoring everyone and not replying to any texts from anyone because ???? #i tell myself i will do it later but i know i won't ... idk i genuinely don't know why i'm struggling to talk to ppl anymore 😭 i've become #even more of a reclusive hermit than i already was 💀 and the worst part is i feel normal abt it #i don't feel /bad/ i just feel guilty that i'm not replying to ppl bc i don't want to hurt ppls feelings... on my end i feel Normal abt it #like i ??? is it weird that i'm so detached from everything that not even a month ago made me so happy..? that's weird right 😭 like idgi #i don't feel (as) depressed (as i usually do) but clearly ?? smth is wrong ?? like ik i'm not a clingy sentimental person but ? it kinda #makes me sad wondering if i really don't care abt ppl anymore ... but i think 😭 it's also the object permanence issues that come with adhd #not seeing or talking to the ppl i love . not doing my hobbies or seeing the groups i care abt . makes it easy to not care or forget what #they make me feel etc etc ... i get it... but idk 😭 if that's what this is . well wow it sucks ASS.. cause i feel guilty for not feeling #anything at all ... 😭 idk how to explain that HENSKDNISJS anywayyyy 💀 #i came on cause i wanted to say thank you for 13k followers 😭‼️ and that i probably will not be online anymore unless i really want to say #this was a really long winded way to say i feel bad but i'm done with stayblr fr 👋🥸 i tried so hard for the last 2 years to make it feel #like home again but it stopped ages ago so 🥹 that's ok.. i still cherish my memories here 🫂 anyway thanku and sjsjsksksks bye i guess 😭 #who knows maybe i'll enjoy it one day again and come back :') never know what the future holds 🫡

[some-sort-of-siren]

I remember in second grade I found out at the end of the year that my teacher had been using me to keep the loud kids quiet by using me as a buffer and i remember thinking “you knew I had no friends. You knew I couldn’t make friends you knew I was horribly lonely all through my first year in public school and you saw it as a convenient way to control other kids.” And like I know she probably did what made the most sense bc teachers gotta teach but like. As a second grader it was one of the things that prompted me to break faith in the system. Because I was like “you saw me be in pain and you did nothing about it therefore I cannot trust people who notice bad things to also be the people who want to fix those things”

#in a second grade way I also got super upset when the one guy who liked talking to me was moved bc we couldn’t stop talking #because I was like ‘oh my gosh he’s being my friend’ #and I got mad because I was like “I know how to read already I am learning friendship now since you won’t let me finish my homework in class #which very second grade of me but I do remember those feelings #also I am upset I wasn’t allowed to do my homework in class when I finished my schoolwork

[raeofgayshine]

I wish I could go back and tell younger me that I would in fact find that place one day full of people that I adore deeply and who I know love me in return. Who make me feel wanted and cared for and appreciated in a way I never thought would be possible. And none of it required hiding, or forcing myself to be a person I’m not. And I still have that space even though I’m aroace.

For the first time ever, I see a future where I’m not alone. And I wish I could go back and tell my younger self it would happen. It’s possible to not be constantly lonely.

#ravenpuff rambles #I’ve been lucky enough in my life to make amazing friends several times #several of whom are still in my life now #but it’s only been recently that I’ve felt like I truly found my place #I don’t know how to explain it #I guess up until now I have always gone into friendships expecting them to end and holding back just a little bit #and this is the first time I don’t feel like I have to run because I don’t feel like these people are going to leave me #maybe it’s just because one of them is also aroace and we’ve talked a lot about those similar feelings of being left behind #never had someone quite get that before #and maybe it’s just I feel more willing to open my heart #admittedly this group of ours went through some shit together and that’s how the friendships really started forming #and so maybe that helps #but it’s like #Have you ever met someone who is so much like you in so many ways that its like the joke of ‘ #‘can I copy your homework?’ ‘yeah just be sure to change it so no one knows’ #It’s a weird thing of feeling so completely and totally seen by somebody sometimes without having to say a word #anyways #I’m really happy with this little place I found and I wish I could tell younger me #and also tell xem that no it doesn’t look like a fanfic dream #no im not their person but yeah they’re kind of mine but that’s okay #its nothing and everything like I always thought of #and for the first time in my life I don’t feel a crush sense of loneliness #yes I wish I could see them in person #but I can be okay with everything I do get

[your-god-empress-lavender]

Henrow blorbo

first off, ohmyfuckinggodyouaresocoolllllllllllllllll

secondly, what ya workin' on currently? <- is deathly interested, yes please please please info dump if you have the spoons

- Ryan

Bonjour my furry friend. At the moment i'm mostly working on getting a job so that i can afford rent, but when i'm not doing that, i'm working on designing some new N-substituted 5MeO-tryptamines (in order to avoid being banned for breaking tumblr TOS, i can't say exactly what for, but if you look up 5MeO-tryptamines, you should see). So far i've only managed to make things that make me super sleepy (and maybe a tiny bit inebriated), so presumably my body is mainly metabolizing them into melatonin. I also have been working on working through the details of making a rocket engine which relies on both muon catalyzed fusion and z-pinch fusion (mostly because even though i know it's way above what i'm probably capable of, i just love space so much i desperately need to see it for myself and i figure that since rockets are so absurdly expensive, the only way i'll end up in space is if we can get a whole new generation of ultra-efficient rockets (for example, given p-N14 fusion, if we manage to get 1% or more (i don't really expect more than 0.1% max, but still) of the hydrogen fusing with nitrogen, we'd be able to put 150 tons on the moon from earth with only using about enough fuel to fill a small car (instead of needing a skyscraper sized rocket to send maybe 30 tons)). Now, if it were as easy as my calculations show it to be, i can't imagine how there are any rockets flown that aren't fusion, but seeing as i haven't even made a working proof of concept yet, i'm not in a position to criticize the thousands of aerospace engineers who are working on conventional chemical rockets. I love fusion because it's simultaneously so easy (i live pretty close to an old uranium mine where i can actually pan some uranium out of the creek near me, then use that uranium to make a neutron source (B10(α,n)) which is really just fusion between helium and boron, happening at room temperature because of how high energy the α particles released by uranium are) and so absurdly difficult (without catalysts like muons, it requires absurdly high temperatures and pressures that almost always take more energy put in than they can give out). Anyway, i've also been sorta working on studying a material that a while back i got way too excited over and may have called a room temperature superconductor (almost certainly not the case), but in an attempt to make it more pure and study it for real i've been trying to work on the exact calculations of its composition and finding a better way to heat it up to high temperatures (i might just but it in a flat-bottomed flask, especially since it finally warmed up enough for me to go back outside where the fumes released by its production won't make folks mad).

And then there's the biological experiments, currently with electroceutical tissue modifications since most of the other projects i have planned require me to have a gene printer capable of reliably printing genes thousands of base pairs long and i'm not sure when i'll be able to build that. The most recent thing i've been working on is really exciting because if it works it means that i've successfully done something that has never been done before to a human body (and given the long lasting pain in that part of my thigh, it seems very possible it is working), but i'm hesitant about sharing what the project is because i don't really want folks putting gap junction blockers, calcium channel blockers, and sodium channel blockers into open wounds without knowing how to do it safely and correctly to get the desired results and not just a really messed up wound. If/when this experiment turns out well, i might give directions in private, but i'm still somewhat hesitant due to the risks inherent in this (the biggest and most likely is literally giving yourself a form of cancer, something i'm not eager for others to risk). Soon i might try chemical dedifferentiation of skin cells (thinking on my back or upper arms) followed by some mildly dangerous experiments to test how reliably i can make it turn into other cell types. And while i haven't made good work on it in a while, i've also been trying to make something similar to shimmer from arcane (ideally not addictive or harmful to the user, but most importantly the quick energy burst, decreased pain, and increased regenerative abilities (obviously it won't be anywhere near as dramatic as in the show, so calling it shimmer may not really make sense, but it is where i got the inspiration)).

Then i suppose there's the battery project i was talking about in my last post, and i'm also trying to learn how to make alcohol under my desk (i mean, it's super easy, it just doesn't taste great). There might be a few more things i'm working on but rn i'm super eepy and have talked about a lot already. If this seems like i'm doing a lot or impressive, also note that i'm actively failing out of college (for my own pride: the material is super easy and mostly i already know it, i just can't stand wasting so much of my time doing homework that doesn't help anyone or anything) and not yet working a job, so i have a lot of time and so much free brainspace to think about and do all this. I also work very slowly on each thing because i keep bouncing back and forth between all of them and almost always end up adding new projects before i've finished the old ones and so i almost never see a project all the way through to completion (at least some of the bio projects are just sitting in my body and i am just waiting to see how they turn out in the next 2-3 months, so those necessarily will see completion, even if it's failure). I really hope i see the fusion rocket to completion because if i don't think i'll ever be able to see the earth from afar or the moon from up close.

#idk #answer to your ask #i hope this is mostly complete #also wow this is long #that's what she said #i'm kinda surprised how many projects i have #i don't often count them #but yeah here they are #i promise i'm not trying to use this for evil #also college kinda sucks because everyone assumes you know nothing and are incapable of learning #not saying you shouldn't go but just that in my experience it ain't worth it #you can learn so much more from the internet and free courses offered online (oer and mit opencourseware are good starting places) #also now that i've shared these projects i hope that makes me feel more accountable and have more need to actually finish all of them #i have so much schoolwork i gotta do and probably won't #1.37 gpa first semester was impressively bad #legitimately went into college thinking i would be challenged and enjoy it but now it's like #“wow i know all of this and yet i am required to spend 8+ hours on homework each day in order to pass even with perfect test scores” #anyway sorry that probably sounds like i'm being super annoying #these tags are getting super long #byeeeeee

[arthur-r]

um, you guys, is this true????

#like. this is just lying right. everyone says um???? #im sort of working on my linguistics homework. still struggling really bad. but writing about homogenization of the midwestern accent #(and the shift toward ‘‘general american english’’ facilitated by the ‘‘information age’’) #but again i just literally don’t know anything?? #plus the websites that i’m reading are i’m pretty sure lying to me?? i don’t really trust this one it feels fake #also midwesterner input appreciated how often do you hear the monophthongal ‘‘o’’ vowel sound (the minnesohhta o) and in what age groups? #anyway this is a 1000 word paper due in 8 hours and i only just started. so. help #so wish me luck!!!! college is impossible and i don’t know what i’m doing here but here is where i am #me. my post. mine. #delete later #college talk

[01tsubomi]

i'm taking the jlpt this sunday and had a stress dream last night abt it bc it sort of snuck up on me and now it's kind of a question of how much my actual japanese abilities will carry me (versus if i should've been cramming on flashcards this past month) but the listening portion is far simpler conversation than my coworkers and i have so. i think that maybe instead of "damn i should've been studying japanese" my perspective should just be "i speak japanese"

#a key part of the dream though was that i failed because i went on a motorcycle joyride during the 40 minute break and didn't make it back #in time for the listening section. the prompt for the listening section btw was to write an essay in english about kirishima eijirou #so i was like damn i would've totally passed #anyway hashtag classic maya but idk #i think i have a bit of a complex abt it bc i was studying for n1 (highest level) in college #but w the switch to online learning we stopped studying the stuff i really needed to work on (vocab and kanji) #and whatever kanji i knew how to write went out the window bc i never had to turn in written homework again #so i really let myself go there for a good two years but since moving last summer i've not only been having japanese conversations every da #i've also actually been studying kanji in my downtime at work #so i have picked up most of the study guide-type information just really slowly over time #i read a ton of manga in japanese lately and most shows on netflix here don't have eng subtitles but i'm fine without them 95% of the time #with the genre of shows i watch at least #so i've been thinking a lot lately abt what my end goal is w japanese studies because 'be able to consume all the art i want' feels like #a good place to be #i do think in the end the only thing between me and n1 is a lot of genuine hard work studying vocab and kanji and reading serious articles #so i feel like all 'sekkaku da shi' i've made it this far why would i just stop working at this point #those are just my thoughts though aaaa i know reading/vocab/grammar section is way more hit or miss #personal

[melissa-titanium]

group oroject im on with two people i wanna befriend really bad is almost over. sits down pat;ethically

#they both KNOW eachother but they seem so cool and i havent talked to someone my age in i think.. 4 years? so i just. dont know what im doin #i think i fucked up with the only other new student already and they already made friends and im just kinda. sits. #i cannot for the LIFE of me remember how you talk with. other people #IM NOT ACTUALLY SAD OVER THIS HONEST TO GOD IM JUST. MAN! #what ever. im determined to befriend at least ONE of them (the one i sit next to) #(also i keep fucking ending up doing things coincidentally similar to him so im using that as an excuse to be annoyingly funny) #im just rambling #sorry i keep talking about school hahaha its just so wild to be back into it after what feels like ever #tho i think its only been 4 or so years #maybe less? i think maybe just over 3 because i started a year before i moved to hell #RAMBLING. sorry. i have homework to do goodbye #mel roars