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#it would be funny if it wasn’t so annoying
cupid-styles · 15 hours
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a helping hand*
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in which y/n can't orgasm and harry is a helpful ex-friend with benefits.
word count: 3.3k
content warnings: mentions of depression/mental health and anti-depressants, discussions of reduced libido, smut (phone sex, mentions of sex toys, dirty talk, description of group sex and mmf threesomes)
this one goes out to all the besties on anti-depressants
masterlist | talk to me
. . .
“No.”
“But—”
“No.”
Harry sighs in frustration before crossing his arms over his chest. If he pursed his raspberry lips into a pout, he’d look more like a petulant child than the young adult Y/N’s known for the past few years. With a roll of her eyes, she lifts her glass to her mouth and takes a healthy swig of her coke and rum. She allows herself to scan the interior of the bar — it’s just barely 6 pm on a Wednesday so she’s not surprised that it’s primarily filled with locals and teams of corporate offices decompressing after a long day. 
“I could always make you come when we hooked up and I bet you I could still do it.”
“Christ, Harry, give it a rest,” Y/N replies, narrowing her eyes at the curly haired brunette. “It’s not just with partners, it’s me, too.”
He quirks an eyebrow and settles his elbows on the sticky table. She huffs when she realizes she’s only piqued his attention even more now that she’s revealed another inkling of her… problem. 
“Can you just tell me what’s going on, then? You know, when I texted you for our semiannual catch up, I didn’t think we’d be getting into your sudden inability to orgasm, but—”
“Can you lower your voice?” Y/N hisses with wide eyes. “I didn’t think we would talk about this either but you’re the one who asked if I’m seeing anyone—”
“Yeah, seeing anyone, not coming for anyone—”
“Just shut up!” she mutters, nearly knocking over her almost-finished drink. “If I tell you, you have to drop it.”
“I can’t promise that.”
“Harry…”
“As your ex-friend with benefits, I have no duty to keep secrets that aren’t about our bedroom-related rendezvouses.” 
“There hasn’t been a ‘rendezvous’ in five years.”
“There could be.”
She sighs and presses her fingertips to her temples. This is why she and Harry never worked out. They’re total opposites — he has the energy of a rowdy golden retriever and she exudes a calm, monotone nature. (She thinks she’s borderline boring if you ask her, but that’s something she’s been saving for therapy.) 
At parties in college, he was always the one working the room, chatting with everyone while she stood in the corner and clutched her solo cup for dear life. 
He had a million contacts in his phone and people remembered him, even if they knew each other from something as small as working together on a project in a class three semesters ago. 
Meanwhile, Y/N could spend two years straight working in the same office and someone would still ask her when she started working there because she looked “new”.
(Seriously. It happened last month, and she had to rush to the bathroom to cry.)
Despite their opposing personalities, they did work for a while, but only as friends with benefits. To begin with, Y/N never wanted anything more — when they started hooking up, they were nearing their senior year of college, and she didn’t want to be tied down to anyone or anything when making decisions about her future. But secretly, she knew feelings for Harry would inevitably pop up. How could they not? Although he was an annoying ball of energy sometimes, bouncing off the walls of her apartment before they even made it to her bedroom, he was kind. He had a good heart — he still does after all these years, otherwise Y/N would never bother meeting up with him without the intention of hooking up — and he was funny, and he made Y/N feel all warm and gooey inside. He was a good fuck, too, and as much as she wanted to widdle his presence down to being purely physical, she wasn’t strong enough for that. 
She was grateful, albeit heartbroken, when six months after their arrangement began, Harry very sweetly told her he had a crush on a girl in his advanced sculpture class and wanted to go for it. As she swallowed a lump in her throat, she told him that was perfectly fine, that she was glad he told her, and that she hoped things worked out between him and Emily.
(They did. For two and a half years. Y/N had never been so thankful when graduation arrived and she could run as far away as possible from the couple.)
Harry tried his best to keep in touch, even after graduating while he was dating Emily — always commenting on her Instagram posts and responding to her stories, even occasionally texting her to wish her well on her birthday or major holidays. Y/N kept him at an arm’s length for as long as she could. That is, until he moved to her city last year.
The only reason why Y/N had a heads up is because of an Instagram story he posted. In his typical overly excited way, he posted a picture of his dog in his new apartment with one of those tacky, premade location tags. (She’s allowed to think they’re ugly — she’s a graphic designer.) So, it didn’t come as a surprise when a week or two later, a text popped up from an unknown number: Hey Y/N! Not sure if this is still your number or if you still have mine, but it’s Harry :) I just moved to your city and was wondering if we could get together! It would be great to see you.
Thus began the tradition of Harry and Y/N’s semiannual meetups. 
It was an unsaid routine they followed — every six months or so, one of them would text the other for drinks or coffee or lunch. They only ever met up in public and they didn’t talk much outside of their scheduled hangouts, though Harry was much more prone to messaging her stupid memes and, on occasion, a picture of his dog, a husky named Fish. 
Much to Y/N’s dismay, the chemistry between her and Harry was still very much there. It had been apparent from their first meetup last February. It was difficult not to flirt, especially when he brought up their past (she would happily pretend none of it ever happened if it meant Harry Styles never made her blush ever again). The thing is, though, is it was fine as long as nothing ever came of it. 
Until now. 
Because as Y/N sits across from Harry in the worn booth of a dive bar a block away from her apartment, she can’t believe she’s seriously considering letting him back in her bed.
“Can you just tell me what you think the problem is?” Harry asks. He slides his elbow onto the table and presses his knuckles up against his cheek, like they’re best friends giggling over some silly gossip. It makes Y/N want to elbow him in the ribs.
“It’s a biological issue,” she mutters, “Like I said, nothing you could fix. Even if I wanted you to.”
“Just spit it out, blossom.”
She narrows her eyes, though she finds it difficult to ignore the way her stomach flips at the familiar nickname. “You’re not allowed to call me that anymore.”
“Tell me what the issue is and I won’t call you that,” he replies easily. “C’mon, it’s me. Remember all the times I helped you pee when you were too drunk to sit up straight? We’ve definitely seen each other in more embarrassing situations before.”
Y/N sighs loudly. He has a point — there was a time where Harry knew her better than anyone else in the world. And frankly, she hasn’t talked to anyone about her problem. 
Scooching her body forward, she attempts to close most of the gap between them. Harry leans closer and she rolls her eyes. To an outsider's perspective, they probably looked like they were performing some kind of sketchy drug deal or like little girls swapping secrets at a slumber party.
“Remember how I struggled with, um… getting pretty sad?”
Harry’s eyebrows draw together and he nods. 
“Right, so it got… worse when I moved here. And I needed to find help, so I started seeing a psychiatrist who put me on antidepressants. They’ve helped a ton — I feel better, and the depression that I do feel is a lot less intense.”
“That’s great, Y/N,” he says, and she can tell he means it by the genuine tone to his voice. “What does that have to do with you not orgasming, though?”
She swallows tightly. “Well, my doctor increased my medication over the winter, and one of the side effects is…y’know. Decreased libido and whatnot.”
His eyes widen. “Oh, shit.”
“Yeah,” she snorts, leaning back against the cracked leather of the seat. “Oh, shit.”
“And you’ve tried vibrators and stuff?”
“Of course I have, I’m not an idiot.”
“So how long has it been?”
She nibbles on her bottom lip as she thinks. Even with flings that she’s had over the past few months, they all gave up at a certain point. The sex was still fun, but she was just the only one who wasn’t coming.
“Well, I can give them to myself if I… work at it,” she mumbles, folding her hands in her lap. “But with a partner? Probably… six months.”
“Six months?!”
The look on Harry’s face is dramatic and theatrical, as if she just told him she was moving halfway across the world and participating in some kind of 90 Day Fiance situation. 
“Shut. Up.” she says through grit teeth, sending him a harsh look. “I don’t need a reminder of how shitty it is.”
“Who the hell are you letting in your bed?” he demands sharply. 
“It can take me an hour, Harry, I don’t expect every person I sleep with to be that patient.”
“They should be, Y/N.”
With a shake of her head, she glances down at her phone on the table. Everything has always seemed so simple for Harry — he’s one of those people where things just come easily for him, no pun intended. A part of her wishes they never delved into the subject matter. Vulnerability somehow always bit her in the ass and this instance was no exception. 
“I’m gonna get going,” she says, pushing her empty glass to the center of the table. “Thank you for the drink, H. It was good to see you.”
His eyes soften as she begins to scooch her way out of the booth. Quickly, he throws a few bills down on the table and gets up to follow her. 
“Can I walk you out, please?” he asks, swallowing as his stomach brims with nerves. She nods, though he’s unsure if it’s a reluctant response. Silently, they leave the bar together, and he nibbles on his bottom lip as she pushes the front door open. The spring air is a welcomed breeze from the sticky interior of the establishment, and she shifts on her feet as she turns around to face him. She parts her lips as if she’s readying herself to bid him a final goodbye, but he beats her to it. 
“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” he says as he stuffs his hands in the pockets of his trousers. “I just meant— like, you deserve better, is all. Someone who will be patient and care to learn your body.”
Y/N nods slowly. “Right. And you’re that person.”
Her tone teeters on mocking and it sends a harsh hit straight to Harry’s chest. He shrugs.
“If you wanted me to be.”
She doesn’t reply to that, but she doesn’t make a move to leave, either. 
“I’ll think about it,” she finally says, and Harry’s eyebrows shoot up in shock. “My hand cramps up when I’ve been at it for too long. Maybe it’ll be nice to have someone else try.”
He huffs out a breathy laugh. “Just let me know and I’m there.”
. . .
A few days later, when Harry is at a friend’s house, he receives a text from Y/N: Are you free right now?
In all honesty, he’s surprised that she’s — assumingly — taking him up on his offer. Y/N remains to be one of the most stubborn people he’s ever known (one time she spent an entire week trying to put together a desk she’d purchased before asking anyone for help. The only reason why Harry was able to do it for her is because she’d called him over for a “destress fuck” and he finished it while she slept). 
He swipes down on her message, his other hand occupied by some shitty IPA Lizzy’s new boyfriend had bought. He keeps asking Harry if he likes it and he has to lie about tasting the hints of citrus, even though it tastes like every other crappy beer he’s consumed. 
At a friend’s house, he quickly types back, Why? Is your hand cramping?
He can basically feel her rolling her eyes as he bites back a smile, watching as the three dots appear to signal her impending response. 
Yes. I was wondering if you wanted to come over.
He’s unsurprised by the casual invitation on a Friday night at 9:40 p.m. (it seems that, as far as hookups go, Y/N hasn’t changed much since college). Nibbling on his bottom lip, he uses his free hand to type a response. 
I’m sorry, I would if I could. I’m trapped at this “apartment-warming” party for my friend. Apparently people host housewarmings even if they’re just renting a new place.
Y/N immediately types back: As much as I’d love to debate that with you, I’m really just looking for an orgasm. So if you’re busy, I’ll go back to buzzing at my numb clit.
Harry snorts at that before placing his beer on a coaster and excusing himself to the bathroom. Once he’s locked the door, he’s quick to pull up Y/N’s contact and press the pad of his thumb to her number. 
“Hello?”
She sounds confused and frustrated when she answers and Harry smirks at that.
“Hey,” he greets, leaning back against the white porcelain sink. “I’m calling about your orgasm.”
“You’re seriously not trying to have phone sex with me right now.” 
Her tone is as deadpan as it gets, and the monotone nature is enough to make a small bit of insecurity crawl into Harry’s stomach. 
“Well, I was planning on talking you through it. ‘S not really phone sex if only one person’s getting off, I think.”
She lets out a noisy sigh and there’s some rustling on the other side. He waits for her response and is surprised when she agrees. 
“Fine,” she huffs, and he can envision the way her eyebrow raises just slightly when she’s decided to give into something, “Let’s give it a try. Porn is getting boring anyway.”
“What were you watching?”
“Well, when you’ve been trying to come for 40 minutes, you end up in some… odd places,” she says. “I started out with lesbian porn, then found my way into threesomes, and somehow I ended up at double penetration.”
“Ah,” Harry nods, “Sounds like you’re having some sort of craving for group sex, then?” 
A pause. And then: “I guess. I’ve never tried it, I just think it’s hot.”
“What’s hot about it for you?”
He thinks he hears her swallow, but he can’t be completely sure. 
“I just like the idea of pleasing more than one person. I think that’s how I got to double penetration stuff.”
“Oh, I see. You want to be used.”
It’s blunt and it’s to the point, but he’s not wrong — he knows he’s not, because he slept with her for six months straight.
“I guess,” she replies non-committedly, “I guess it’s like… a fantasy of getting two people off and them feeling that way because of me. Through oral or… being inside of me, or whatever.”
“So what’s your threesome fantasy, then?” Harry pushes, though his tone teeters are near carelessness at this point, “Girl/boy? Boy/boy? Maybe it doesn’t matter. Who do you want to be between?”
Y/N exhales shakily, “I’ve never thought about it.” 
“Well, now you are.”
She doesn’t immediately reply, but he knows she responds well to the calloused persona he suddenly obtains. She’s always been this way — submissive and good, always looking to please him intimately. It’s too easy for him to put the pieces together and solve the puzzle.
“I guess I like the idea of being with two guys, but it doesn’t matter much to me.” she eventually decides.
“Okay. And in your deepest fantasies, what are these two men doing to you?”
Another pause, though he thinks he hears a shuttered sigh on the line. He doesn’t mention it — not yet at least.
“Maybe… maybe one’s inside of me and the other one’s in my mouth.”
“And how is he fucking you? Is he on top of you, missionary style, or are you on your hands and knees while he fucks you from behind?”
A breathy whimper departs Y/N’s lips and this time it’s loud enough for both of them to hear. He smirks at the sound of it. 
“I like the idea of him behind me. A-and the other one fucking my mouth.”
Harry hums, almost as if he’s praising her. “Close your eyes and envision it, then. Think about how you’re letting two men take advantage of you and use your body, just so they can get off. One’s fucking into you from behind, spanking your ass and grabbing your hips like you’re just some kind of toy to him. And the other one is thrusting deep into your mouth, making you choke, getting you all drooly for him. You’re nothing but a set of holes for them, honey. Isn’t that sweet?”
On the other line, all Harry hears is a series of shattered moans and low curses. Even though it’s been years, he can imagine the way her muscles are all tensed up, her pussy clenching around a dildo or her fingers. He wishes he would’ve asked so he could envision it, too.
“I-I think I’m gonna cum,” she whimpers out, and Harry palms himself through his trousers at the sound of her high-pitched mewls. 
“There you go, blossom. Atta girl, just let go. ‘S easy, let it go for me,” his voice is a near coo and it makes Y/N’s eyes roll back into her skull. It’s like he knows how easy it is for her brain to ping pong to other far less sexier thoughts — like the dirty plates in the dishwasher or the unfolded laundry in the corner of her bedroom — so he continues crooning through the receiver, his low, soft voice guiding her through every bump and ridge of her impending orgasm. 
When she comes, she comes hard, considering it’s been a solid two weeks since she’s been able to give herself an orgasm. It shoots through her entire body and, even with her eyes shut tight, the fantasy she created still plays through her brain — except now, it’s not two mystery men. Now, it’s just Harry fucking into her, all tan muscles and sweat pearling at his hairline. 
She’s boneless and exhausted when she finishes, her throat dry from the involuntary moans she let go. She only remembers she’s still on the phone with Harry when she hears him clear his throat, followed by a call of her name. 
“Hey, sorry,” she mumbles as her cheeks flush a deep red hue, “T-that was good. Thank you.”
“Yeah? You finished?”
If she had more energy, she would roll her eyes. Of course she finished. The entire neighborhood knows she finished.
“Yeah.” she mutters shortly. “Have a good time at your apartment-warming party.”
Harry huffs a laugh, “Yeah, ‘cos that’s what I’ll be thinking about for the rest of the night.”
She doesn’t have a chance to ask him what he means before he’s bidding her goodbye: “Let me know when you wanna do this again. I’m around this weekend.”
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leaderwonim · 1 day
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unconditional love. ✧ park sunghoon x fem!reader genre: bittersweet fluff, coming of age angst
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you liked park sunghoon, you truly did. he was kind, intelligent, and had that soft introverted persona on the outside.
when you got to know him, he became the most funny and loudest person to ever exist, which had your heart doing backflips.
it wasn’t him that was the issue. it was you. you always had commitment issues, never being able to settle down because of your past pulling you behind. i mean—how could anyone ever like you? you felt as thought you were too loud, too annoying, too irritable, just too much.
despite your brain constantly bringing you down, park sunghoon loved you. he loved every single piece of you, the way you’d blow your perfect hair out of your face as you concentrated on the textbook in front of you, the way your eyebrows would furrow when you didn’t quite catch a question or answer, the way you’d prop your head onto your knees as a way to comfort yourself.
god, park sunghoon swore you were the one. he didn’t care that his friends warned him about your earned title of being a ghoster when it came to relationships, he didn’t care that it felt like he was constantly putting in more effort than you.
as long as he’s got you, he doesn’t care. so how did the two of you end up in this situation?
“i don’t get it,” sunghoon frowns, “what did i do wrong?”
“you didn’t do anything wrong,” you say exasperatedly, “in fact, you were perfect sunghoon. you were everything i wanted and more—it’s just me.”
park sunghoon hated the classic it’s me not you excuse when it came to situations like these. but because it’s you, he lets it slide, even though he already feels the tears coming.
“i don’t want to hurt you any longer, hoonie. you have to understand i’m ending this because i care about you too much to put you through hell.”
sunghoon solemnly nods, knowing whatever he’ll say won’t change anything, that it’s already too late and you’ve already made up your mind.
it’s cruel, he thinks. life. how it could be so depressing and meekly all at once.
it wasn’t until a year later that sunghoon and you crossed paths again. you two were now sophomores in college, and had even attended the same university.
you had gotten a boyfriend, finally deciding to settle down after maturing and realizing how much of a piece of shit you were to all the boys at your high school.
his name was heeseung and he had treated you like a princess, reminding you of how sunghoon used to treat you back in senior year.
now here you were, sitting on one of the university steps with your head hung low. your parents had given you the call about them divorcing, right in the middle of your sophomore year. you were miles away, and was heartbroken knowing your family was splitting in two without you being there physically to support them.
“hey, you okay?”
you knew that voice better than anyone.
“hoon?” you sniffle. “i’m sorry—why am i even calling you that.”
“it’s okay.” he reassures you, patting your back as he takes a seat. “what’s wrong?”
“parents are getting divorce,” you scoff. “guess thats karma for all the things i put you through.”
“don’t say that.” sunghoon gently wipes away your tears, frowning when he sees more appear.
“you shouldn’t even be comforting me, i treated you like shit sunghoon, i got a new boyfriend right after i said i couldn’t settle down with you.”
“who cares?” sunghoon says, and for the first time, you don’t see the romantic love he used to have in his eyes for you. “we’re young! of course you’re going to find other people.”
you’re in awe at the maturity sunghoon is displaying. you knew it took a lot of courage for him to do so.
“why are you being so nice, sunghoon?”
“the world is already cruel, yn.” sunghoon sighs. “so therefore, i won’t be.”
and although his words won’t stop the divorce of your parents or the sadness filling your chest, it makes you feel a tad bit lighter, knowing that you had someone like park sunghoon in your life.
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anakinsdove · 11 hours
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Sub sam monroe x fem friends hot older sister ❔
𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 | 𝐬𝐚𝐦 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐫𝐨𝐞
pairing: sam monroe x older!fem!reader
summary: it’s been like what? 6 years since you saw sammy, he’s still as weird as he used to be, only prettier. After seeing him again you notice there some tension that wasn’t there before.
c/w: nsfw, loser Sammy, blowjob
discord - twitter: anakinsdove
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𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧! 。゚゚・。・゚゚。 ゚。Love you
𝘄/𝗰 - 1,352
“What’s that for?” You ask your little rat of a brother why he’s suddenly carrying enough snacks to throw a party.
“Sam is coming over, he’s going to spend the night here” Your brother says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “Who?” “Sam” he rolls his eyes “Oh! Sammy, blonde, walks weird?” “Yes…” he’s slightly confused at your description then he realizes you haven’t seen Sam in a while…. A long while?
“He dyed his hair” your brother ads “Seriously?” You say sarcastically clearly faking interest trying to find something worth watching on tv “And he walks normally” “I’m sure he does”
“Anyways aren’t you a little bit too old for sleepovers?” Your condescending tone is very annoying to your brother but that’s what sisters do. “Aren’t you too old for Halloween?” “Huh?” Your brother smirks pointing at your makeup, you respond by throwing the pillow on the couch with enough force it feels like a brick, he runs upstairs
“coward” you mutter to yourself and suddenly someone’s knocking on the door
Someone’s knocking extremely loud
You decide to ignore it as you keep painting your nails but the knocking is very persistent and it gets louder somehow accidentally painting your toe “fucking loser” you curse under your breathe and stand up walking furiously towards the door.
“What!?” Your tone is harsh and the boy takes a step back, Sam looks stupid as he makes sure he’s in the right house “I-is James here?”
“Sam?” You ask softly this time, your anger quickly dissipating from your features, eyeing him up and down… wow.
“Hi Y/N”
You open the door for him to come in as he awkwardly goes through the door, he tries to keep his hips as far he can from yours while walking in, you sigh at the awkward silence
“How have you been-“ “You look very different-“ both of you say at the same time “You look the same” he says “I looks twelve?” God you’re making fun of him
Hes about to answer when your brother comes down running from the stairs “Sorry dude I was taking a shit!” He greets him as you stand aside
“Don’t talk to her Sam” your brother says smirking “Shut up man” they run upstairs and you shrug trying to shake the awkwardness away
You keep trying to distract yourself with tv but it isn’t fucking working
Sam Monroe….
He looked so different from what you remembered, he’s taller, there’s a lot of piercings stuff on his face and you’re pretty sure he was wearing eyeshadow.. his hair now it’s black… funny because you remembered him being blonde and looking like a puppet, you giggle at the thought… Oh! and his clothes, he was wearing a Metallica t shirt, Vintage….
You moan and you realize you been rubbing your clit through your panties this whole time then gasping in embarrassment and closing your legs
What a slut… what if someone saw you rubbing your cloth on your living room, that would be a reason to kill yourself, what if Sam saw you like that?… that however doesn’t sound as bad
Control yourself Y/n
A few hours later the sun has set… you succeeded distracting yourself and as soon as Sam leaves you won’t have to see him again you’ll forget this awkward chapter in your life where you masturbated to the thought of your younger brother’s friend until… “Why me man!?” “Cause I’m about to win this level” “Youre shit at the game” “Shut up!” you hear the boys arguing upstairs “It’s just fucking popcorn Sam” your brother mocks him as Sam sighs coming down the stairs
You can’t help but look up at him “Hey” Sam stops midway “Hey” he tries to sound and look relaxed, but when did your boobs get so big?
“Pop corn?” You asks pointing at the box he’s holding in his hand “I’ll burn them” he says
“It’ll be my brothers fault” you laugh and Sam smiles “C’mon” you guide him to the kitchen and put the popcorn in the stove “You look very different too” he responds to your earlier conversation, you smirk at the opportunity of teasing “Really? I thought I looked twelve” “Fuck no” he suppresses a laugh and you nod playfully “Well, maybe a little” “Fuck off” you push him playfully and his back makes contact with the counter “You still have your dimples when you smile” your heart actually softens at his comment “You don’t look like a puppet anymore” he rolled his eyes “I meant that in some ways you look the same but in other- other ways you look very different” he stares at you collarbone
“Sam?” You take a step forward “It’s mean to look at girls boobs when they’re talking” he freezes “I was not-“ you grab his bicep “I always knew you liked me” Sam is really about to die or kill himself, whatever is option is quicker… instead he grabs your waits and pulls you to him then freezes again “You want to kiss me Sammy?” His gaze switches from your eyes to your lips, to your boobs that look so good in that thank top, then your lips again, his lips hesitantly meet you in a clumsy kiss… but then you find out he’s so hungry for this, teeth clatter and he hums into your mouth, his hands shaking as he holds your waist…. You pull away teasingly as he tries to chase your lips but you have other plans like kissing his neck
“Fuck” he moans, his little sound has you clenching your thighs, you need this boy asap…as you nibble and suck his neck then pulling away again “Sam” “What?” He says breathlessly
“Can I suck you off?” WHAT THE FUCK he nodds shakily and you get on your knees “J-James?” Sam’s says as he watches you unbuckle his belt “Don’t talk about my fucking brother when I’m going to give you a blowjob” “Sorry..” “He’s playing, he wont find out.” You try to reassure this poor boy as he nods shakily “I promise” you unzip his pants and take his boxers down urgently, it’s too much, you hear the popcorn popping, heavy breathe, the waves crashing distantly… his cock slapped against his stomach… Sam looks down at you in awe
You start stroking him, watching the angry red tip leaking already, “w-wait wait I’m gonna c-cum” Sam warns virgins you think to yourself and force yourself to stop stroking him, if he’s gonna fucking cum he’s cumming down your throath tonight “fine” you say angrily and take him down your throat “Fuck!” Sam moans as his shaky hand tangles in your hair pushing you down further “I can’t I can’t I’m sorry” his eyes roll back and his back arches, your wet lips wrapping around his thick cock…. Sucking him sloppy it’s just so much
He doesn’t know why god is on his side tonight but he’s not complaining, he beats himself mentally, he seeing stars, fireworks exploding behind his eyes and all that cringy shit he once heard, now he knows it’s real, he feels your tongue massaging the underside of his cock and you make something with your tongue where it licks at his balls slightly and-
“Fuck!” He yells as he cums…. Thick ropes of cum hit the back of your throath, he tastes salty…
Your doe eyes look up at him seductively as you keep licking his tip, his legs tremble as he spasms, he has to push you away so he doesn’t pass out
You finally release his cock from your mouth “breathe Sammy….” “Fuck sorry I-“ his breathe is heavy “Shhh….” You kiss his lips softly so he tastes his own cum…..
“You’re sleeping here right?” He nodds
“Come to my room at 2:00 AM” he nodds again and you know this boy is completely at your mercy
“Oh and Sammy….. your popcorn” you point to the stove and evident smoke “Shit!” Sam runs and trips over his pants, pulling them up quickly and trying to not burn your damn house.
masterlist 𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗱𝗼𝘃𝗲 © --- all rights reserved. no reposting/translating/ copying will be tolerated.
dividers - @i92-93
(Im very sorry for the absence! I been pretty much busy and a little unmotivated to write but I’ll try to post another fic this week, this was a little bit rushed but I hope you like it)
@anakinsbbgirl
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sweetiepoison · 1 day
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Famous Baby (Blurb)
The confession
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Warnings: verbal argument, angst, smut, flashbacks italicized
You were stringing every curse word you could think of in your head as your right leg shook up and down uncontrollably. Tonight was supposed to be a good night. A night of celebration and friends, but that turned south very quickly when you got to your table.
The outdoor venue that was chosen to host the drew house celebration was big. There were plenty of areas to sit or stand and seating wasn’t assigned. So it infuriated you to no end when Auston decided to sit right across from you with the beautiful blonde he brought as his date.
There was always tension between you that was predictable but the tension that was happening now was palpable and uncomfortable.
Shawn rested his hand on your leg under the table in an attempt to help you relax. You looked over at your ex and gave him a gentle smile and his hand a light squeeze of appreciation.
“So, any big plans before you guys leave LA?” Your best friend asked trying to diffuse the tension.
“Yes!” Steph picked up immediately also trying to lighten the mood, “We planned a hike to the Hollywood sign tomorrow morning.”
“That’s awesome, we’ve done that a few times and honestly the view never gets old.” Your best friends boyfriend, Ryan commented.
“Are you all going?” You asked wanting to know what Auston would be doing, especially if his plans involved his “friend”.
“Nah.” Auston shook his head, “Alexa and I are just gonna chill by the pool.” He smirked, his eyes never leaving yours, “You know what they say, nothing like the California sun.”
You hummed a response your jaw tightening. The thought of Alexa near naked next to Auston made you sick.
“Well I think we all deserve a break especially you two,” you best friend pointed between you and Auston, “(y/n), told me about all the time you put into this event.”
“Yeah, we really had to work together to make the party a success.” Auston kept his eyes on you as your chair made a screeching sound against the ground as you stood abruptly.
“You okay?” Shawn asked as all eyes at the table turned to you.
“Yeah.” You reassured, “I’m just gonna go get another drink, do you want anything?”
“No, I think I’ve had enough. Thank you though.” He smiled brightly up at you.
“Okay.” You gave his shoulder a squeeze before making your way to the bar. After you ordered you put your head down on the cool surface to try and regather yourself. You were annoyed by the emotional strain you were already feeling and the night had barely even begun.
“Almost didn’t recognize you earlier with your clothes on.” You didn’t need to turn around to know the voice whispering in your ear was Auston’s.
“Funny.” You deadpanned sitting back up, but refusing to look at him.
“Were you planning on ignoring me the whole night?”
“For as long as I could.” You admitted with a shrug.
“Don’t you think you’ve done that enough already?” Auston picked up his own drink that he ordered. “You won’t answer any of my calls, you’re ignoring all my texts.”
“Mhm” you agreed. “If you don’t see this going anywhere I don’t want to be involved.”
You both stood side by side back to the bar watching the crowd. You felt a pang of sadness in your chest watching the table you came from. As everyone interacted and laughed your eyes specifically fell on Shawn.
You could be with him if you wanted to, not him specifically but a guy like him. A sweet guy, someone who is kind and polite and treated you well. All of your ex boyfriends fit that description, they were everything you needed. Auston was the opposite. He was loud and assertive and honest, even if it hurt your feelings. He wasn’t everything you needed, but he was everything you wanted.
“That’s not what I said.”
“You told me you didn’t want me.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Oh right you just left me there crying.”
“I didn’t ask you to catch feelings for me, in fact I made it abundantly clear that you shouldn’t.”
You weren’t sure if you regretted that night with Auston or not. The back and forth game between you two was finally over, but the last few weeks also left you lonely and missing him.
With it being the off season, Auston had the time to come to your concert in New York. After the show he joined you at your hotel before you left the next day for the next state.
The night went as it usually did, sex…cuddling…sex again…cuddling again…shower (sometimes sex in the shower). But you didn’t let the routine get past the first round. As you laid there in his arms you took the risk and asked where he saw things going. You tried to deny your feelings for as long as you could but after a while there was no point in ignoring how you felt.
“I’m over it, Auston.” You gulped down the rest of your drink.
“Are you over me?” You sucked in a breath as his fingers timidly touched yours, not fully holding your hand but close enough.
To say the night ended badly would be an understatement. You slammed the bathroom door shut after he rejected you and soon after your hotel room door was slammed shut following Auston’s exit. You’ve ignored him since that night, wanting to forget everything that happened and move on.
“Yes.” Placing your glass down on the bar you rejoined the crowd. You spent the next hour mingling with others and avoiding Auston.
“You okay?” You stood off to the side with Steph.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” You twirled the small straw that came with your drink around your glass a few times.
“You just haven’t seemed like yourself.” She shrugged, “and I don’t want to assume but..” she trailed off avoiding eye contact.
“But, what? Steph.”
“But even your fighting with Auston isn’t like your usual fighting.” She shifted from one foot to the other. “Usually it’s annoyed fighting, but tonight it feels almost…personal.”
You swallowed thickly, “What are you trying to say?”
“Did something happen between the two of you?” She finally huffed out.
“No.” You shook your head, “he’s just more irritating than usual tonight.”
You watched as she processed the information but the frown she wore didn’t leave, “If there was anything wrong, you would tell me right?”
“Of course.” It felt like a knife right through the heart as you lied to her, “you’ve become one of my best friends.”
She let out a deep breath and finally smiled, “Okay, good. I’ve just been worried about both of you.”
You wanted to ask her why she’s been worried about Auston. Has he been acting different also? Had your conversation actually had an effect on him? But before any of your questions could be answered the devil himself interrupted.
“Hey Steph, could you keep Alexa company? I forgot a gift in my car and need to go grab it.”
The blond looked over her shoulder before side stepping to allow a spot for the new company to join, “of course we were just gossiping.” She giggled.
You smiled at Alexa but your eyes really never left Auston as you watched him walk away, “excuse me, I’m going to talk to one of the sound guys.”
You backed out of the group and sped walked through the crowd careful to not trip on your own heels. You caught up to Auston right as he was getting his keys from the valet guy.
“We need to talk.” You demanded latching onto his arm.
“Okay, walk with me to my car.” You walked in silence to the parking garage and once you arrived Auston unlocked the doors getting into the drivers side. “Get in.”
You slid into the passenger side crossing your arms over your chest, “what do you think your doing?”
Auston reached into his backseat grabbing a small box, “Getting Justin’s gift.”
“Not that,” you slapped the small box out of his hand back into the backseat, “you brought one of your old hookups as your date.”
“What about you?”
“Me?” You raised your eyebrows.
“Yes, you.” Auston mocked your voice, “you brought your ex boyfriend, which is way worse.”
“He’s Justin’s friend too.” You defended.
“Yeah, that’s not making it better.”
You crossed your arms over your chest,“Watching you with another girl isn’t any better for me.”
“Don’t be jealous.” Auston placed his hand on your thigh letting it slowly creep under your dress.
“I told you, we aren’t doing that anymore.” You grabbed his wrist stopping his hand from moving any further.
“You say that every time and then next thing you know we’re hooking up again and the cycle repeats itself.”
“No. I was for real last time, if you don’t want anything serious I’m done. And don’t look at me like that.” You grumbled keeping you arms crossed and eyes straight ahead.
“Like what?” Auston teased a smile playing at his lips.
“Like you actually care.”
“I do.” He responded. “I care about making you feel good.” His right hand made itself comfortable on the back of your neck and began applying pressure, “And you look really tense right now.”
“Wonder who’s responsible for that.” You sarcastically responded.
“The same person who can also help you relax.” He suggested his hand back on your thigh again, but this time you let him go under your dress.
It was pathetic how easily your body responded to him. How your head fell back against the head rest and your hips shifted toward him. Your legs spread further apart and your hand came up to play with the hair at the nape of his neck as he pushed your panties to the side.
“You’re really wet for someone who’s done with me.” He commented as he massaged your clit, spreading your wetness around.
You ignored his comment
“If you want me to stop I will, but you have to tell me.” You could only manage to shake your head, taking deep breaths while Auston’s middle finger ran up and down your slit.
“Use your words.” Auston whispered into your ear as his fingers continued to dance around where you needed him the most.
“Don’t stop.” You chocked out almost like a plea. Auston followed your command as two of his fingers started to slowly move in and out of you. He used his right hand to unzip the back of your dress. Allowing the top of your dress to fall down, he began sucking and kissing all over your chest.
You reached over the center console to stroke the growing bulge through his dress pants. However, you suddenly felt empty as Auston’s fingers thar were once inside you were now wrapped tightly around your wrist stopping you, “no, this is about you.”
He put your hand back in your lap before bringing his fingers to your lips. He watched intently as you wrapped your lips around his fingers sucking gently. Auston gave you for a hum of approval before going back to pumping his fingers in and out of you at a pace that only someone with significant wrist strength could manage.
You should’ve been embarrassed about how easily he had you falling apart around his fingers, but the feeling was nonexistent as you moaned hiking your leg up on the seat to give him more access.
You bit down on his lip hard keeping your lips connected as you came down from your first orgasm. Auston continued to move his fingers building you up for a second and then he did it again for a third. His fingers continued to move despite your pleas for him to stop.
“You have one more in you.” He encouraged kissing on your neck.
“Auston-I can’t, please.” You whined overstimulated. Auston loved to hear you beg, it didn’t matter if it was for more or for him to stop. He loved the way your voice strained and your body pulsed and his absolute favorite part was hearing the way you said his name.
Hearing you now only motivated him to move his fingers quicker and at more of angle, “Yes you can. You’ve done it before you can do it now.”
Your hips bucked up involuntarily over and over again to meet his fingers. Your body felt like it was on fire as you reached your climax and that’s all it took before you were slumping forward gripping on to the dashboard to keep yourself steady. Your body was absolutely wrecked and you weren’t sure how you were going to stand, let alone walk back to the party.
“Good girl.” Auston kissed the side of your head, finally removing his fingers. He brought them to his own lips this time sucking them clean.
“Enjoy sitting next to your hookup with me still on your fingers.” You commented through ragged breaths.
“Enjoy singing with your ex boyfriend after I just did that to your pussy.” Austons smug remark had you moving with a sudden burst of energy. You reached for your phone looking at the time as it read 7:45. “Fuck,” you mumbled as you frantically pulled your dress back up. You pulled down the passenger side mirror fixing your makeup and hair before pushing the door open.
“Where are you going?” Auston asked as he followed your lead, also getting out of the car.
“Back to the party, I’m supposed to sing with Shawn at 8:00.” You ran your hands over your dress looking at your reflection in the car window.
“I hope Shawn doesn’t remember what you look like after you get fucked.” Auston dismissed your panicked behavior locking the car before walking around to your side.
“I hope Alexa doesn’t mind sitting in the seat where you fucked me.” You threw back as he picked up your hand leading you back to the venue.
You ran straight into Scooter’s chest as you and Auston sped walk back through the side gate that led to patio.
“Woah, slow down turbo.” He joked placing his hands on your shoulders to steady you.
“Sorry, we uh went to Auston’s car to get his gift for Justin that he forgot and we didn’t realize how far away it was and so we basically ran to make it back in time and they should really give his mom a price reduction because of how far away parking is.” You rambled out of breath as you fidgeted with your fingers.
“Where’s the gift?”
“Huh?” You questioned trying to play it cool.
“The gift, that you guys went to go get. Where is it?” Scooter questioned again looking back and forth between the two of you.
You opened your mouth, but no words came out. You began panicking and searching for any plausible explanation as to why you didn’t have the gift.
“She told me it was stupid.” Auston spoke up clearing his own throat, “the gift, she didn’t like it, told me to return it. Ya know…how she usually acts.” Auston’s voice shook and you mentally rolled your eyes. You may have been a bad actor, but he was worse.
“Right.” Scooter nodded glancing between the two of you again for any real answers. “Well, Shawn’s getting mic’d up now.”
“Yeah I’ll go find him.” You nodded.
“I’ll go back to the table.” Auston said at the same time as you.
You both turned to leave but you turned to your right and he turned to his left causing you to bump into each other. You awkwardly fumbled around each other until you were out of the way.
“Oh and (y/n),” Scooters voice interrupted your awkward interaction “you have a hickey on your neck, might want to put your hair down to cover that up.”
Your cheeks instantly became warm as you kept your head down avoiding eye contact with both of them. “Thanks for letting me know.” You kept your head down as you released your hair from the claw clip it was in and sped walk to the side stage.
“I was starting to think you ditched me.” Shawn joked as he noticed your appearance.
“Sorry I was gone I got caught up in something.” You explained as you were handed a mic. You tucked it under your arm as you placed your inner ear ignoring the way your hands shook.
“You okay? you seem flustered.” He held onto your arm to keep you in place.
“Yeah, Im just nervous.” That wasn’t a total lie.
“I got you, it’s just you and me up there.” His sweet smile made you feel sick. Shawn tucked a piece of hair behind your ear which you quickly began to play with to ensure it didn’t move from your neck.
“You guys ready?” The sound guy asked.
“Yep.” Shawn answered for the both of you as the best you could manage to do was nod your head.
“Alright, you’re on.” He nodded placing headphones over his own ears.
The crowd applauded loudly as you and Shawn took the stage. You were very grateful to whoever’s idea it was to have you sit and perform as you perched yourself on one of the stools center stage. The crowd settled as you sat down and the anticipation built as the opening chords were played by the band.
The crowd erupted into cheers as you and Shawn harmonized on the final note. You held tightly onto his hand slowly opening your eyes.
“I’ve missed singing with you.” He placed a gentle kiss on the back of your hand and then kissed your temple.
“I’ve missed it too.” You agreed, pulling him into a deep hug. Your happiness, however was short lived as you looked out into the crowd and watched a body you knew all too well leaving through the side gate.
You shoved your mic into Shawn’s chest, “I’m sorry give me five minutes and I’ll be back.” You promised leaving without a response.
You sped walk through the crowd your eyes locked on the side gate. You brushed off all the praises you received from people as you passed them, your sole focus on catching up with Auston.
“Auston.” You shouted after him as you exited the gate. He didn’t turn around but kept walking.
“Auston!” You shouted again trying to catch up with him on the sidewalk. “Please stop!” You begged tugging on his arm when you finally caught up.
“What do you want?” He turned around to face you ripping his arm out of your grip.
“I want you to talk to me.”
“Oh like you’ve been talking to me these past couple of weeks?” His voice boomed above all the cars on the street.
“You hurt me.” Your voice was soft, barely above a whisper.
“I just listened to you sing love songs with your ex, so you hurt me too.”
“That’s not fair.” You crossed your arms, tears starting to form in the corner of your eyes. “You left me at that hotel, I shouldn’t be chasing after you.”
“I left because you slammed the bathroom door in my face.”
“Because I told you I had feelings for you and you said that our relationship wasn’t that serious to you.”
“Because I was scared!” Auston finally burst, “I’ve known I wanted something with you ksince that night at our home game when you got into a fight. But I could tell you didn’t want anything so I kept up the little game we had, but then you stayed the night and wrote the song and my feelings just got all confused.” He ran his hands through his hair letting out a deep sigh, “That night I came to your apartment to apologize, that’s all I should’ve done was apologize and then leave. But once we started, I couldn’t stop, you became addicting. And then you became comforting and-fuck-It’s you, you are all I want.”
“Auston-“ you tried to cut him off, but he didn’t let you.
“And that night you told me you wanted more, I panicked because it would mean we would finally be on the same page. And I started to imagine all the scenarios where it wouldn’t work out. I’ve never wanted to hurt you, but that night I did and I haven’t been able to forgive myself since.”
“I forgive you.” You tentively reached for his hand, “I was confused after that night at your apartment too, but I knew there was something there. And I was hurt after my New York show so I tried pushing you away. But, fuck, I can’t turn off how I feel and you’re all I think about. You are everything I want.”
You chewed on your bottom lip as you waited for him to say something, anything. The all consuming silence reminded you of your last night together. And that silence ended in both of you slamming doors and neither of you getting what you wanted.
Up until now all of your relationships for the most part had been easy, especially at the beginning. This was the most you’ve ever had to work. Was being this vulnerable scary as hell? Absolutely. Was Auston worth it? Absolutely.
Auston smiled as a sigh of relief left his lips. He pulled you in by your waist resting his head on your own, “For real?”
You giggled nodding, “yes for real. I don’t want anyone else.” The relief you felt was incomparable. It was like a weight was lifted off your shoulders and you could finally breath.
“I don’t want anyone else either.” He admitted rubbing his hands up and down your back. “I want you to be my girlfriend.” The last sentence was whispered lowly into your ear.
Your grin was enough of an answer, but still you nodded and whispered “I want you to be my boyfriend.”
“I’ll be whatever you want, baby.” Auston reassured placing a kiss on your neck, followed by your cheek, and then your lips.
“Would it be totally wrong if we ditched our dates?
“Yes.” Auston confirmed, “but when have we ever been morally sound people.” He bent to pick you up causing you to squeal and giggle at the sudden change as he carried you down the street.
“That song you performed with him wasn’t even that good anyway.” You laughed at Auston’s bitter tone.
“I’ll perform some new ones for you that I’ve been working on.” You offered running your fingers through his hair.
“As long as they aren’t about another guy.”
“Nah, they’ve all been about the same guy lately” you admitted, hoping the darkness would hide your blush.
“I can’t wait to hear it then.”
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strawbrygashez · 1 day
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Zero Day Family HCS
Some thoughts I have about how the two would interact with each others families and whatnot..
•In the movie, it seems like Cals family is always doing something & are very family oriented! With how large that one party was and how we see Cals parents interact with Cal a lot more positively than how Andres parents interact with Andre… SO this makes me believe that when Andre does accompany Cal to those big family events, he feels slightly overwhelmed and out of place.
Since Andres extended family is more than likely all back in Germany, it feels so alien for him to see a whole family around like this. Grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, you name it.. he has no idea it feels that’s like. It’s literally always has been just Andre and his parents the majority of his life.
That being said though, I think Cals close and extended family welcome Andre with open arms. They’ll chat with him and pull him either which way at a party to go see something or someone :,)
(Speaking of, wouldn’t it be funny if one of Cals cousins had a little crush on Andre.. and they tell Cal something like, “Yeah your friend over there is kinda cute. What’s his name again?” And Cal just… becomes a total dickhead and is like “Let me introduce you to him :D he’s single!” And drags them along to meet Andre despite their protests. He himself knows that Andre will more than likely not be interested at all but Cal loves pushing Andres buttons and making him uncomfortable every now and then.)
So Cal will walk off after he introduces the two and says some bs like “hey you aren’t seeing anyone right Andre? I want you to meet my cousin.” Andre is dying on the inside because he has no idea what to say to her and it’s just so uncomfortable for them both. He definitely finds Cal after and hits him in the back of his head)
•Cals siblings are obsessed with Andre. They always run to the door when he comes over and show him things they made or new toys they got and unless Cal puts up a fight or Andre is just really not in the mood, they’ll try to pull Andre outside so they can play things like football with him.
Initially, Andre didn’t think he’d like being around Cals siblings because for all he knew, all kids were just annoying and loud but once they started going on about how they like Andre more than their own brother sometimes, he’s making sure he’s the coolest guy they know. He likes the feeling of being someone others look up to and the little ego boost that comes with it :,)
•Again with Cals siblings, I think even they can tell how totally joined at the hip Cal and Andre are.. which leads to some teasing and “Uncle Andre” being said 💀 Andre won’t even take it to heart like he would if anyone his age was saying that kinda stuff to him since their just kids and are genuinely just playing around. He’ll just playfully shove them away or put a hand over their face to make them shut up.
•Andre isn’t particularly close to Cals parents but they like him well enough. Andre doesn’t really know how to deal with parental figures that well because his own parents are kinda just yknow ‘there’ for the most part. He doesn’t particularly feel very close to his own parents besides maybe his mom a bit.
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•Andres mom loves Cal a lot! I feel like Andre never had any close friends growing up so she’s so happy Cal hangs out with him. Especially because he seems so nice and a good influence (💀).
I like to imagine that one day, Cal went to Andres house because he needed to vent and just get out of his own house for a bit but when he showed up, Andre wasn’t there. Like maybe he’s working later then usual or some school thing came up. Usually, Cal would just go up to Andres room anyways to wait for him but Andres mom insisted on making him something.
Cals sitting there at the dinner table dissociating and she notices somethings off so she asks if he’s okay and.. he just starts bawling. He doesn’t even mean to but yknow how just hearing someone ask if your okay can make u cry? Yeah. So she sits down with him and tries her best to calm him down and understand what’s going on.
Hes’s eventually able to calm himself down with a mix of her help and him just being embarrassed he broke down in front of her. Andre comes in soon after and is very confused why Cal looks like he just got done crying with his mom next to him. And is even more confused when his mom tells Andre to keep a eye on him and maybe take him out somewhere.
•Andres dad and Cal barely interact besides Andres dad patting his shoulder and asking about school, girls, what he’s been up to and etc. Cal can tell that Andres dad doesn’t like him that much since Cal doesn’t really act all tough and masculine but it’s nothing crazy. Just kinda a thing where they’ll occasionally chat and nod to each other but that’s about it.
•Andres mom loves to share embarrassing things about Andre so much. Like telling stories about how cute Andre was and how he’d follow her around all the time when he was younger, how’d he pick her flowers, how he still believed in Santa a bit past the appropriate age to still believe in him, and etc. she also loves showing Cal Andres baby pictures and videos too. Andre will straight up leave or put his head in his hands but Cal doesn’t give a shit. He’s SO giddy about seeing this old side of Andre. It takes everything in Andre not to hit Cal when he asks “Where’d that sweet, kind boy go?”
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strafethesesinners · 5 months
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f1nalboys · 2 months
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it should be studied how i am able to give myself anxiety over something i know literally cannot happen. like……..it’s almost amazing
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lesbiansanemi · 3 months
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I hate when I’ll be complaining about some stupid bullshit a coworker does to other coworkers and half the time their response is to lower their voice and go “well…. You know…. I’m pretty sure they’re… on the spectrum, you know?” And every time I have a split second when I have to consider saying “you know I’m autistic, right?” just to make them vaguely uncomfortable for a few minutes and actually think about what they’re implying but of course I do not do that because the gratification is not worth a large sect of shitty coworkers knowing that about me and then talking about me like that every time I do something vaguely annoying or dumb but man…. It does get tempting sometimes
#like idk!!! sometimes the coworkers in question DO display some common autistic traits#but that is NEVER what is being complained about (at least not by me) so WHY are we bringing it up like that el oh el#like when I say ‘yeah I don’t like this coworker because of the shitty fucking things she did to my friend’#the response should not be ‘well I think she’s autistic isn’t that so funny she’s so obsessive about stuffed animals it’s annoying’#shut up shut up SHUT UP AND DIE#I don’t CARE that they talk too loud I don’t CARE that they’re bad a social cues I don’t CARE that they do ‘weird things’#and it’s so. HFDJSJKSKSKS AAAGGHHHHH#whether they’re autistic or not MAYBE that’s not what should be getting brought up during a conversation like that when it has NOTHING to do#with it#also maybe we shouldn’t be doing shit like whispering ‘on the spectrum’ like its some awful terrible thing#just thoughts idk#and the thing is too is that even if I told these ppl I was autistic#they would 100% be the types that are like ‘oh? but you don’t ACT autistic I don’t think you are’#like actually I got very good at masking for these reasons thnx#also you think autism = Sheldon from the Big Bang theory and nothing else#but I already learned my lesson cuz I told a coworker that I wasn’t sure about exactly twice#one of them went ‘oh THATS why you’re so dumb and don’t realize when other ppl don’t like you and take advantage of you’#and then the other one went on a mansplaining spiel about how me being autistic was why adhd meds didnt work on me??????#so yeah. never doing that again. haha. hahahaha. hahahaha……#this actually happened a few days ago but it’s been Bothering me so much#I hate my fucking job….#kaz rambles
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science-lings · 2 months
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While I think it’s funny that Phoenix’s type is people that want to kill him or that hate him unreasonably, I think it’s far funnier for it to be kinda mutual. Like all the characters that hate Phoenix specifically are also infuriatingly attracted to him, they all want him carnally and they can’t handle it so they try to kill him.
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the-casbah-way · 9 months
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i feel like everyone is going to eventually get annoyed at me for still being sad about simba or still talking about it but posting abt it is easier than telling someone because i don’t know how to do that and i’d rather be annoying here where people can scroll past and ignore it and not feel obligated to reply
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collegeoflore · 4 months
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it truly is SO fucking funny to me how inconsequential cazador is in the city at large. he’s nothing. the szarr family is Barely counted among the patriars bc no one gives a shit. it’s so silly
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emodennis · 2 years
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i- ok
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niicevibe · 1 year
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my coworker and I just got reamed by our boss for a small kitchen fire that happened the other day… while he was in Cuba… and then proceeds to ask us why we didn’t call him about it… while he was in Cuba…
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bibleofficial · 3 months
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on a first date, during a lull in conversation: so what’s ur blood type xx
#stream#ALSKALSKAKSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLA#it wasn’t even a date it was just mess#but it only lasted like 2.5hr thank god it’s so funny i love being messy he’s so easy to antagonize#but he’s sooo boring sexually i guess idk i was just bored the whole time i guess i mean i was sober & didn’t plan on us coming back here#like girl i told u it was a mess but truthfully not the worst#like not many would say it was ‘a mess’ but to me it was TRASHY#not nearly as bad as it was but that’s not the point#bed was unmade which made me :( like bro … idk i just like making my bed i was alrdy LATE but also that’s the usual#i would LOVE to be early but like at the same time if i’m late im not upset like ‘let’s set expectations where they should be: if we need to#meet at 8 let’s agree to meet at 7.30 & then secretly it’ll be 8#i got in his car then i was asking him like 40 questions as i do then he asks me 1 & i go ‘well aren’t u a bit nosey’#this is also us in a car. driving#he said ‘do u want to go for a drink’ so me being an alcoholic & purposely not getting the message bc in british that just means let’s have#sex but it’s not even like ‘we’ll meet at a bar first’ it’s just we’re meeting for sex & it annoys me but also i’m like YES PLEASE LETS GET#DRINKS 😭😭😭#so i brought 2 bottles of wine bc i was like ok so we’ll drink somewhere but i don’t have a cork opened#or like opener but also good bc whichever the blue 1 was that i finally got open was absolutely disgusting top tier worst things ive put#into my body#but anyway#also we used a condom so :( but also he says he’s on prep on his profile but he’s not but also i was like ‘i can go get tested we don’t have#to have sex it’s ok’ bc like he was rly wanting me to have been on prep idk he was just worried then i stopped to get the condom too like i#INSISTED which i like that i did bc …. i don’t think he cleaned an#anyway#ALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLA i messaged him like idk 30min after i got back from walking him to his car up the street saying ‘had a great time’ etc he#just left it on read BUT BEFORE HE LEFT I FOUND OUT HES A ROYALIST & A TORY 😭😭😭😭#like AKSKALKSLAKSLAKSL GIRL WJY 😭😭😭😭#‘it’s british heritage …’ ur grandfather was spanish ? 😭😭😭#so kinda hope he doesn’t message back but it does make me laugh#he’s just very easy to get riled up & i think it’s hysterical
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slvttyplum · 2 months
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suguru had a crazy ex. they were still stuck on him like white on rice obsessing over him and lurking on his socials. 
at first, you understood, and you got where they were coming from. i mean come on, it’s suguru geto. you too would be fawning over this sex, strong, funny, sweet man for decades to come, but then it became excessive to the point it wasn’t funny anymore but annoying. 
a notification popping up on his phone every day from an anonymous account. suguru was done with it just as much as you were. 
when he and his ex broke up, they both made it extremely clear that this was an agreement both of their terms and that they both wanted to break up. 
so why the fuck is he up at 2am going pee getting phone calls and texts from them even after getting blocked. it was insane, he really thought he was going crazy and was thinking of what he actually wanted to say instead of actually telling them, but no.
they just wanted him back and hated to see him with you, saying that they were the only ones who deserved him.
suguru really thought he was at a loss here, not knowing what to do and contemplating just going to the police, but he thought of something better, something sweeter in pettiness. 
think of something that would make you really mad—your soul crushed, devastated to see the crush do. it’s fucking someone else, right? yeah, thought so. 
so that’s exactly what suguru did. he wasn’t going to have his ex sit up there and get you all irritated the moment the both of you woke up; it’s not happening. 
and then getting you mad? fuck no. he works way too hard to keep you happy, and it’s not going to get destroyed by them. 
so he set up his phone, positioned it just right so only his face was shown, and started recording. of course, you knew about this, so you let the pleasure suguru was giving you take over. 
your body squirming, the heat in your body rising, lumps in your throat getting caught over and over again, your whimpers and moans flowing into his mouth. 
the sex was still the same, amazing. the only thing was that he was recording himself giving you that good dick that they apparently still craved. 
and after an hour of sweating, cum and different fluids on the shit, wet noises, skin slapping, and moaning, he sent the video. 
it worked. there was no reply, no snarky remark, no crying over the phone, no begging, just the “read” under the video.
now that’s how you get rid of an ex. 
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lilgynt · 8 months
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there’s no polite way to tell my mom i need her to stop giving me errands or leave me alone for five seconds and yes i am having a break down over it
#personal#am i crying bc my#mom told me she’s having some people come by the house to fix the cable yes yes i am#it just kinda fucks up a plan i had today which#i haven’t been able to do bc my room was a mess but now that’s it’s clean i was gonna dedicate myself to jsf relaxing and doing this#and she says they should be done before my plans with gg but how funny would it be if they ruin that too#and she always springs shit on me no warning ESPECIALLY if i have plans with gg and i doubt it’s on purpose but i’m so upset#and every night is like she needs something or we’re taking about something until bam its 11 or midnight and i have maybe a few hours b4#i have to work or even if it’s a day off it took over an hour and a half to get to my dinner after serving it#and that’s before how long it took to actually just get my dinner#or how i’ll be in a room and she won’t acknowledge me TILL i’m like hey im gonna go and i’m walking away#i had to say five times im going to use the rest room before i could actually leave and do that#and no she wasn’t forcing me there but getting up and then her needing me to come back it interrupts the process a little#and i just sent such a huge rant to gg and audrey with audio bits and im so annoying so add that to crying pile#i feel like i’m being a huge baby but also really want to tell my mom to leave me alone a bit#i don’t think i’ve even started my grieving process just cause it’s a constant motion of doing something
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