#it worked out fine lol but i dont think id do it that way again idk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vroerry · 8 months

Note

Hi. So, to start, i dont know the difference between oneshot and short fanfic, im not used to those words yet, im sorry ;n; so make it whichever one of those two you feel like and would have fun with! Id like a nice little story to read, not just headcanons alone if possible.

Ive been thinking about this idea that takes place after Kazuichi Soda gets yelled at by Sonia in the Dangan 2 game, and they all storm off in their own directions. But then, reader tries to go comfort Kaz and one thing leads to another~

I suppose a touch of angst would be appropriate for such a story, but i dont want it to be just that, or too focused on that. Thats the lead up to the NSFW, which is the focus.

Reader goes and finds Kaz in the night after everyone went seperate ways, comforts him, they talk, hes probably a bit snippy, but then calms down. These 2 were buddies, not dating, but then all the ~stuff~ happens, and, you get the rest. Sexy stuff ought to cheer the man up lol. You fill out the "how" of this scenario. Howd they end up in bed? Have fun with it.

Im sure reader would feel bad for Kaz, not wanting him to be in distress. Maybe reader has been secretly pining for Kaz, but that doesnt HAVE to be a detail, im kinda making this all up quickly, throwing in lots of details, and you decide what sticks~ The others on the island didnt see each other for the rest of that night, so they could definitely get alone time no problem. Maybe after he calms down a bit, reader comes up behind him and hugs him, sweet and somber.

Idk about location, because the others would be in their cottages, but the motel should be free at this point, so maybe there so they can be loud and not care.

Can i PLEASE have reader taking kaz's hat the morning after because her hair is so messed up, like "gimmi that shit, your hair looks fine as hell, im the mess today i need hat." Maybe something in the end about them trying to act natural the next day around the others, you know? Perhaps some hickeys gave it away or somethin, whatever you think up and wanna write is cool.

Gender neutral or female reader is cool if ya dont mind. And idk what genre to label it as like you asked in your rules. Slight angst with mostly NSFW? Idk how to genre, i apologize ;-;

Thank you for reading, i look forward to your future works, whatever youre inspired to do is cool. Take it easy<3 ~Tiara👑

I'm so freaking sorry for the wait😭 My life took a heavy turn, but I'm fine now!

When I tell you I took my sweet time to play around with this scenario~

Also, difference between short fanfic and oneshots: It might be made up by me??? For me a short fanfic is multiple parts, 10 at tops, each part being around 1600 words at least?? So the entire fic is maximum around 16k words.

But now, to the fanifc:

A comforting touch

Kazuichi Souda x fem reader, NSFW

words: 1380

Another day on the islands, another day to end in chaos. Just the usual Jabberwock Island drama in the middle of a damned killing game.

Everything was fine, everything was going well, until Kazuichi decided to express his love for Sonia again. And this time, it did not end well. And you were the one that was in charge of finding Kazuichi. Again.

"Just make sure he doesn't do anything stupid" Hajime asked you and sent you off on your way.

"I will!" you replied and took went on a journey to find your buddy. Ever since you've ended up in this situation, he made you weirdly comforted. His goofiness, his fun aesthetic, everything. Except for when he was driving Sonia, and after that everyone else, insane. Even you struggled to understand his obsession with her, but brushed it off. It's his business not yours. It's his business not yours...

When you started looking for him, the sun was still up, but soon the moon took his place on the sky with the stars and you were completely clueless about his whereabouts.

"Let's see..." you thought to yourself. "What did I miss...?" The locations quickly ran through your head. Library, check. Theater, check. Cottages, check. First island entirely? Check.

"The motel!" you said out loud. "Well, I doubt he'd be there but... it's worth a shot" you wondered and decided to give it a go. You made your way to the third island and immediately headed for the motel. The abandoned looking building looked the same as ever, and the smell of musk was just as strong as before. You slowly opened the door and called out to the seemingly empty building.

"Kaz? Are you here...?" you walked inside and started looking around. "I just want to make sure you're okay, bud... I've been looking for you for hours..."

No response.

You continued to walk around the dusty place, stopping every now and then in front of doors.

"Kazu? Please be here, I have no other idea where to look for you... We can do whatever you want... Just be okay..."

Still nothing.

You sighed.

"Fuck, maybe I was wrong..." with a heavy heart you started to get to the exit. "I hope he's alright..." as you started walking away, a door behind you opened. You quickly turned back to see Kazuichi standing in the doorway.

His hair was the usual mess, he cried his eyeliner off.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled. "Were you that worried?"

"It's okay! Oh god, I finally found you..." you said and went back to him. "Thank god you're okay... Would a hug be okay?"

"Yeah..." he replied and you wrapped your arms around him and so did he.

"It's going to be okay... I promise, Kaz... You'll apologise to her tomorrow and everything will be fine..."

"I will..." Kazuichi said. "I... i went overboard... I didn't want to upset her..." he slowly let go of you.

"I suppose... You don't want to go back there, right?" He shook his head in response.

"I don't want to be near anyone right now... Well, aside from you, I guess... But if you don't want to stay, you can go back..."

"No, it's fine" you brushed the offer off. "I'll stay here with you... I promised the others and myself that I'd keep an eye on you..."

"Alright then.. I guess... we can stay here..."

"Do you... uh... want to talk about everything that happened..?" you ask. He stays silent for a bit.

"Let's sit down..." he said and went back to the room he was hiding in. You followed him.

He sat on the bed and gently tapped the space next to him.

"C'mere... Let's have a... chat..." he smiled at you gently and rested his back against the wall. You sat next to him with a curious look as he speaks up.

"So... I know I fucked up... Miss Sonia didn't deserve that" he mumbles, looking down with a guilty expression. "But at the same time.. I... don't really know how else to show her how I feel... My parents never really... taught me how to handle emotions... But it doesn't matter now... She's got real close with that demon lord or whatever he calls himself"

"Kaz..." you sigh. "I know, rejection sucks but... I'm sure you're going to find someone that knows how to take care of you, someone who loves you for you..." you smile at him and pat his shoulder. "Even if that person isn't Sonia... There must be someone out there.."

"Where?" Kazuichi frowns. "I won't ever find my match and you know it... I'm like that one sock at the bottom of the drawer, always lonely and"

You suddenly press your lips on his, making him shut up in the middle of his dialogue.

"That someone is right here, Kaz..." you whisper to his lips. "I may or may not destroy our friendship but I don't care... I am that person..."

"Man... what since when why..." he starts asking every question that comes into his mind. Nonetheless, you quickly. make sure he stays silent.

"Just shut up and enjoy the moment" you kiss his soft lips once again, wrapping your arms around him. Pulling him close, not letting him escape your touch.

Kazuichi's eyes slowly flutter close, as he kisses you back, letting himself go under your touch.

Your hands start to wander around his chest. Slowly caressing each spot through his overall then zipping it down to reach under it...

"Are you surre this is a good idea?" he breathed out.

"Do you feel better?"

"Yes" he whispered.

"Then yes..." you kissed his lips again. "It is a good idea.." You smiled and slowly tugged his overal off his chest.

You now began placing passionate kisses all over him. Starting right under his ears, steadily working your way down his neck, stopping at the collarbone and then repeating the said path in reverse. Now going up, every now and then gently sucking on his skin, leaving hickeys. He let out soft sighs of pleasure, his eyes fluttering after each kiss.

"Let me take care of you too" he tried to switch things up but you stopoped him with a firm expression.

"I am the one comforting you" you took your shirt off, making him blush and his eyes lit up in excitement.

"Actually...Keep going" he said with sparkling eyes, as you went down on him with a sly smile. You kissed him like there was no tomorrow, making sure all of your love went through. All the love, admiration, and comfort. Everything that was boiling inside you whenever you thought about Kazuichi But despite your order, his hands began wandering too. Pushing your clothes down, guiding you into his lap.

"Ride me" he pleaded.

"Any time" you replied and began grinding your hips. Back and forth in his lap. Kazu groaned, feeling the pressure of yourbody. His patience on edge, his mind wishing for the clothes to disappear. Both of you bit down on your lips to keep the silence. , Trembling, shaky breaths leaving his mouth he spoke up again.

"We can be as loud as we want... Just please ride me already" he pleaded again, whining under you. He was so on edge, so impatient. So ready for everything to come crashing down.

"I’ll get right to the point, I promise...” you continued to rock yourself back and forth, putting more and more pressure on his body. Even you started to tremble and placed your hands on his chest for support. Gently grabbing onto his small pecks, feeling muscle tensening at your touch.

"Don't just promise me. Do it"

The next morning the two of you were walking back to the first island. Hand in hand, smiling as the sun was coming up.

"So.... We're together?"Kazuichi asked.

"I am not sure" you replied. "All I know is that..."

The two of you entered the first island. You quickly grabbed his hat and placed it on your head.

"That I need your stupid hat... My hair is a mess..."

"Mine too!" he tried to get his hat back.

"Yours is alway a mess, Kazu. Mine not" you giggled. He rolled his eyes.

"Love you dork,.. And your comforting touch..."

#danganronpa #danganronpa x yn #danganronpa 2 #danganronpa 2 goodbye despair #sdr2 kazuichi #kazuichi x reader #souda x reader #sonia nevermind #gundham tanaka #sdr2 #danganronpa x reader #kazuichi smut

58 notes · View notes

dulcesiabits · 14 days

Note

hi id like you to know i just bingeread both ur sunday fics instead of studying for my math test which is tomorrow. which i will definitely fail but i dont even care cause GODDD your writing feels like a blessing to my Life. you Get Him . normally i can't fully engage with x readers, not at the fault of the writer but for some reason imagining myself takes me out of the experience, but i think i literally forgot everything else while i was reading. like i was Immersed. i dont care who or what its about in the future but please never stop writing, you're an insanely good author. anyways sorry for the ramble hope you have a great day!!

(referencing this fic and this fic)

Aw, thank you for this sweet ask!!! <3 I'm glad you enjoyed my writing! I'm always happy to hear when people get absorbed into my works, because then I feel like I did a good job making them compelling! I also feel like I have a such a specific view on Sunday, so it's also nice to hear that you think I get him (which is high honor). He lives rent free in my mind and I think about him way too much LOL

I think it's fine if you don't see reader as "you"! I actually don't see reader as the audience, but as their own character tbh. "Reader," the character, is someone else whose perspective I'm just happening to read or write from. In general, I think second person POV is really fun tool and you can do a lot of neat things with it!

Anyways, good luck with your math test tomorrow! And thank you again for sending this in! It really does mean a lot, and I love getting asks like this, haha! I definitely won't stop writing because I don't know how to shut up ever and I love writing too much to stop lol. You have a good day too ^^

#liya answers

7 notes · View notes

hirokiyuu · 11 months

Text

ok i did a huge ship meme for fun. if you read it u have to like this post. also i have more thoughts under the cut

some of these are copy pasted from twt so if u saw it there u can read them again i guess. theres some new ones also. perish by my hand

at a glance

yuujin calls leona "leona-san" until theyre both old n gray. they probably try "leona" a few times but it feels weird to them. leona's fine w/this

love languages are what they prefer to receive rather than what they naturally give wwww if it were that way around id switch it LOL. high natural compatability

"problematic a bit" in the sense of. well. if youve played twst. youve met leona. u see how he acts around mc at first. u kno.

dynamic stuff

i dont think leona would've had a Relationship relationship before. fwb? fucking around w/ppl? sure. but a Relationship? sounds like too much work

yuujin meanwhile had World's Shittiest Not Boyfriend before isekai'ing. mostly fwb but yuujin did have feelings and also he was the only person yuujin was ever like. emotionally close to beyond their sister. so

? on caretaker for leona bc its definitely not Traditional Caretaking but he does put in the work to help yuuin in ways they do really need. still.

? for yuujin mostly bc if they had to do more caretaking like they did for their sibs theyd die but also they do help leona how they cna. u kno how it is

re:attachment, theyre both independent but yuujin is more likely to pull Away if shit happens while leona is more likely to get territorial (lol) this is probably the only thing that ever causes any real fights

idk if i'd call it "wants to Corrupt yuujin" but leona definitely does sometimes wish they were less of a good person. not always. but sometimes.

nsfw stuff

being used is situational for yuujin bc when theyre into it theyre Really Into It but theres also a chance itll trigger them really badly. u kno how it is

my pillow princess leona agenda strikes again

i htink leona is in theory fairly ambivalent abt topping/bottoming but in practice if he tops he's expected to do more work. so.

theyre both shameless during sex but occasionally yuujin will remember they have Feelings for this guy and this guy has Feelings for them and they'll get flustered. they can nad will talk abt sticking their tongue up this man's ass w/o batting an eye but the moment anything abt Liking each other comes up? they get a little shy LMAO

the sex is pretty good for both of htem but again. leona is lazy. yuujin is hte one doing all the work.

particulars

re:things to change, if leona were a more classically Good Boyfriend (ie more demonstrative, trying harder, more obvious w/his feelings etc) yuujin would absolutely run. so. leona's personality is a good (?) thing

engagement

(looks at the checklist) (points at leona) Go King Give Us Nothing!

the one abt killing the other is v like. dependent on timeline i think. leona might be more willing at first but over time i dont think hed be able to.

yuujin is technically the pursuer in their rship at first but leona definitely catches the Big feelings before yuujin does. lmao. eat shit loser

tbh their communication style from the outside probably looks pretty callous. a lot of talking Around things and giving each other shit to hide the fact they both Hate talking straightforwardly in some respects. the kind of couple that never ever once say 'i love you' to the other even tho they're both aware they do (eventually)

they touch a lot, in terms of pda they're not obnoxious but usually leona will have a hand on yuujin's back or yuujin will be on his arm or w/e. leona generally initiates if theyre out in public but yuujin doesnt mind they just dont start it usually wwwwww

re:expectations, i actually dont think leona expects too much from Yuujin Specifically, just in general. but also. in some ways i dont think he believes he'll get it. if that makes sense

OK THAT WAS REALLY REALLY LONG if u read this whole thing thank u tell me if u like them. i am rotating them constantly

#yuujin stuff #how do you art #my embarrasing oc/canon ship i would die for

7 notes · View notes

am-i-sans · 7 months

Text

dnd adventures 36

inferno is out of eeby deeby. he last remembers being in the cave lol. of course, undyne comes over and grabs his hair. barbie is just confused lol. dans messages moss god if they can kill him yet. no darn. vani and tori both picked up jevils scent nice. its in 1 spot so gotta keep going in a radius. just keep following. near the city gate cool. frog is riding tori for funsies. (cam is infodumping tf2 lore to inferno lol)

barbie finally asks why inferno is being dragged by his hair. its cause hes evil lol. she wonders why no hand holding like wtf no barbie. everytime they pass someone they cheer hi barbie xD jevil seems to be zig zagging around. just keep following. we finally found a trail!

river in the way. barbie gets to see soupnik lol. she summons a pink pegasus. gotta get across this big river. 1.5 miles across?! time to get on soupnik. frog hops on the pegasus lol. tori squints but allows it.

on the otherside! (moss is so mad we keep rolling high and wont let us find a trail cheater) barbie says she has to get back to work and is gonna send another paladin to help us. tori wants to know who shes sending so suzy translates lol. the person that put jevil away originally. tori unwild shapes. dans is playing fetch with vani. tori communes with nature. suzy is trying to swim goddamn. inferno wishes he could swim F.

jevils not here. tori goes and gets suzy from the river lol. no drowning today xD suzy asks if jevil swam it lol. dunno since moss didnt let us smell him. dans comments he might have been swept away. inferno says he might be dead and frog gets sad. dans comforts them and says jevil is strong so hes fine. undyne goes to dunk inferno in the river lol but stops cause frog says too.

the others manage to convince undyne to release inferno but she says shes gonna kill him if he tries anything. suzy says shes not allowed to kill him lol. tori is talking to trees asking about jevil lol. suzy tries to swim again! inferno tries to tell suzy shes gonna fucking drown lol. she says she can swim and ignores him. tori whips around like nuh uh. suzys like fuck. she sits by inferno and he says theyll jump in the next river.

infernos cat just comes out of the river totally dry lol. curls up in his lap. frog just starts petting it as inferno tries to push it off but it curls back into him. eventually he stands up and makes it fall. it hisses and runs into inferno and makes him stumbles but hes still standing. how did it move him?! undyne uses divine sense on the cat. its a celestial! it stares at undyne vaguely menancingly. she glares back lol. wtf why is it following inferno. frog uses speak to animals. it says inferno is funny and mean. inferno is just bewildered. he smells like catnip lol.

the trees told tori jevil got swept away lol. tori lets us know. gotta follow the river and suzy tries to go in the river again lol. they hear a voice that dans knows! "I see you havent gotten any taller." dans grins and looks up. "I see you still look like a mop." he walks over and they claps hands awesomely. "New friend of yours, Kris?" KRIS THE PALADIN MAKES AN OFFICIAL APPEARANCE! kris shakes hands with undyne. the other person looks like an adult suzy! Undyne looks between big and small suzy and asks if their the same person. dans introduces kris and suzy to everyone. kris says 3 people including themself captured jevil. third guy isnt here right now. (moss didnt make them a sheet lol moss just fucking ask me next time id make one)

dans tells them jevil got swept away so were heading down river. cams just happy they dont have to swim. dans and kris catch up while they walk. cam is singing with frog. kris looks at inferno, then whispers to dans and they laugh lol. cam goes eeby deeby! frog keeps playing. big suzy asks undyne whats the heaviest thing they can lift. 'think of the heaviest thing you can think of, i can do it.' she does a handstand and claims to be holding the world lol. she tries to knock her over lol. undyne avoids both suzys lol. she gets back on her feet. she gets flipped off lol.

tori wild shapes again. her and vani searching for smells. kris pulls out some chocolate and eats it and give dans a small piece. kris looks back at frog and offers some of course they want some! dans tosses some jerky to little suzy and she catches it in her mouth. tori fucking jumps in the river and lil suzy is so mad lol. she made it across nice. sniffing from both sides. dammit suzy jumped in. inferno tries to stop her. he catches her! suzy is so pissed. angry barking across the river. big suzy is just laughing at them. frog says they can turn suzy into a duck then they can swim. undyne says not to do that but suzy wants to be a piranna, so does inferno.

dans writes a note and sends it to tori on mage hand to let her know whats happening. more angry barking lol. frog decides tori wont be mad if they only transform inferno. hes gonna be a shark! undyne grabs suzy nope shes not going. hes a shark now and he cant talk lol. suzy cheers and runs after him. kris and dans bet of suzy gets swept away or not. suzy rides inferno like a horse lol. she makes it nice. tori is trying to yank her out. suzy cackles and gets off inferno. tori drops wildshape to yell at suzy. frog drops concentration on inferno. suzy grabs inferno and drags him to shore.

dans hands kris 20 gold lol. suzy and inferno fistbump sksksksk. tori fucking carries both of them sksksksk. undyne tells soupnik to watch inferno. tori finds footprints or something. undyne calls soupnik over so we can cross. suzy asks why kris doesnt have a wyvern. they just smile at her lol. the cat just walks across the river wtf. we cross to the otherside, jevil next time!

#dans #dnd #dnd adventures

6 notes · View notes

fyodorloveclub · 2 years

Note

nsfw is fine for me, it can be sfw if you want

not comfy w/ sharing my real name on here so lets just go with Lycoris

i am a computer science student in college

im 5'8, white, i have blue/gray eyes, and dark red dyed hair in a bob with bangs

i am the parental friend who will ask questions, talk to people, keep us out of trouble, volunteer for things etc UNTIL i fimd someone who i trust enough to do that for me. then its chaos. i have adhd if that helps anything lol

enfp

i play genshin, persona 5, and minecraft; i play the guitar and sometimes write music (also sing and play a couple other instruments); i like reading literature: i watch anime; i like solving puzzles and working with technology; i occasionally upload on youtube or stream on twitch (not sharing it to tumblr lol) (im also a christian but im here on a tumblr smut acc)

im a very picky eater, i swear im like a child, i dont try anything i dont already like. i am a very assertive and opinionated person so if i dont like something You Will Know. but at the same time i can keep it back to be polite (except for food im sorry i will live off of ramen until i die)

any of the adult males, fuckin surprise me

nope nothing else to add <3

lycoris x ranpo

✧ surpriseee your silly little man is The ranpo edogawa himself

✧ you guys work so well bc you both compliment and counteract each other. you're very similar in some ways but complete opposites in others, which is. essential for relationships

✧ ranpo is a (loveable) dumbass and could definitely use your parental friend abilities, mostly when it comes to like changing lightbulbs, taking the train, doing the fucking laundry. he's so smart but so stupid pls be patient with him

✧ BUT i think he very much could step up and be that person you could trust wholeheartedly. you could let your chaos show with him he could handle it. he might match it with his own crazy tho bfdakljfk

✧ i would be SCARED to see your guys' kitchen dkfjkadsljf like oh my god. you both are the worlds pickiest eaters, and ranpo's obsession with snacks and sweets...... you would need an entire pantry shelf dedicated to just ramen and another one just for all of his candy. id get a fucking cavity just from entering the room

✧ you're slightly taller than him (2 inches) but he absolutely refuses to admit this. when he stands next to you he'll stand a bit on his tippie toes and everyone just pretends its not happening LMAO poor ranpo </3

✧ you hardcore bond over your love for puzzles and reading and problem solving. this is likely how the two of you ended up meeting and/or interacting for the first time, and is something relatively integral to your relationship. its something that both calms you down and can start fights fkjdalj;f like if you solved a poe novel first he wouldn't speak to you for like 3 days

✧ you are both . very opinionated and this can be good and bad

✧ bad in that you'd have to be very conscious about the fact that you inevitably will butt heads, and knowing the best ways for the two of you to cool off either together or individually.

✧ good because if you guys share a really strong opinion about a certain tv show or hatred for a person that is. talking material for DAYS you could both get hyperfixated on the same things and everyone at the agency is like oh jesus fucking christ. not them again

✧ you'll def find yourselves in arguments about the silliest things which isn't necessarily a bad thing sdlkjfdsjk like one morning you're bickering because ranpo was like NO YOU DEFINITELY HAVE MORE MARSHMALLOWS IN YOUR LUCKY CHARMS THAN I DO and you're like WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING A BOUT

✧ i promise i genuinely think you guys would work well together i really do fklajfkdj

✧ i dont think he really understands video games at all, like thats not his thing. but he def will sit there absolutely mesmerized as you stream.

✧ i know cockwarming where the guy is the one playing the games but why cant it be the other way around. u ride him as you play video games. why not. i said so

✧ he'd LOVE listening to you play music

✧ anyway. power couple. the two of you would drive everyone at the agency insane with your antics but they'd all love you too :)

#AA HOPE U LIKE #matchups #demon: scaramouches-girlfriend #ranpo bsd #ranpo x reader #matchmaking

11 notes · View notes

goremet-chef · 11 months

Text

being friends with me sucks because i will never ever send the first message unless ive like. slept in the same bed as you (AND EVEN THEN ITS HARD ive known these bitches for 10 years why am i still nervous to send them dms specifically KSJFS)

(ramble)

i think dms naturally just make me anxious because then i have to do smalltalk in a private setting? god i hope not, im really awful at carrying a conversation. ive done my best to like... get better but its hard to keep track of things. im the kind of loser who looks shit up like "how to keep a conversation going" its real bad

but oh man, do i wanna talk to someone? absolutely. bouncing my leg biting my nails type shit the urge inside of me to reach out, the urge is strong but the anxiety is stronger SKFJSF

like many things it sorta comes from bpd too? ive got such a crippling fear of rejection, of not being wanted or not being welcome, that shit will keep me away from ANYTHING i dont care we could be roleplaying hot gay sex every day if i get the idea that there could be some reason im not wanted at that moment i CLING to it and i will never speak to you again unless you start it. its. humiliating and EMBARRASSING but.. its just how my brain works.

it makes me feel awful too, cuz i dont like.... there is a very real chance that if you tell me something and its not clear what you mean, or its blunt, short etc. ive heard people with trauma often take neutral cues and negative and that is so fucking true for me my brain immediately is like "oh you pissed them off lol" and im just. sat with dread because I KNOW ITS NOT REAL, i know trust me i know. i know my brain is making it up and everything is fine,

i used to ask for clarifications, but i learned to stop doing that because it makes me sound even crazier. they mean shit normally, so i cant ask "are you mad at me, did i do something wrong?" cuz it freaks em out like??? no nothing is wrong tf (and even that reaction alone could cause my brain to double down. its EXHAUSTING).

THAT ALONE will keep me away as well, i hate feeling like a burden, and big surprise lots of people think of borderlines as burdens. yippee. this is technically fine though? i dont make many friends to begin with, or well. i dont MAINTAIN them i think i make them a decent amount but i guess.. in my head, if you are my friend, yr my friend forever. like unless we specifically part ways, i will always think of you fondly. doesnt matter if we havent talked for weeks, months, years. ill think of you and go "oh yeah, that person is my buddy :]"

UNFORTUNATELY i dont know anyone else who thinks this besides me, which means theres probably lots of "friendships" in my head that are now one sided, bummer. idk it sucks, i have dreams about that kinda shit, where like... my friends from middleschool, id come home and theyd be happy to see me again and tell me how much they missed me, but thats just fantasy 😔

2 notes · View notes

oatmealcrisp-freak · 2 years

Note

hey, you've talked somewhat about your dealings with chronic pain and i was just wondering what are some ways that you make it better?? idk if that makes sense but just ways to cope with the pain. there are a lot of different types of chronic pain but just anything that helps you. i want to write and type so bad but my hands hurt lol, any advice?

Hi nonny I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time with your hands right now, and balancing that with the need to be creative is a struggle i relate to a lot ><

i know you asked after my experiences specifically but i do want to emphasize they are as such for a reason, so the context is important to keep in mind. please be careful of what you try!! i'm not a doctor, and if you can, i do think its important that you see one who can give you help thats bespoke to your condition.

but i do think theres some things that are general enough that i can offer. off the top of my head, i also really wanna emphasize trying out voice to text programs to see if they work for you!!!

im not gonna put this under a cut btw no need to make you click anything extra

first - youre probably not gonna like it very much but you need to rest your hands.

pain is our bodies way of telling us to stop, and its important that we listen to that information and respect it to keep us from doing more harm to ourselves! be patient. pushing it too soon means its gonna take longer to get back into creating. it sucks, i know, but its the sad truth.

this means staying away from holding things, especially heavier things like a phone, big cups, handling heavy groceries, etc. mobile phones are very important to stay from as much as possible, not just because they can be heavy, but the way we hold them is ususally not good for our hands, wrists, elbows, or necks anyway.

if you do need to handle your mobile phone, place it on a surface. hold it yourself as little as possible!

if your mobile phone or mobile device is all you have, it might be worth investing in holders, external keyboards, and wireless mice, if you think this is long term for you. the reason i invested in a computer is 100% for this reason. i just cant do phones very well anymore.

this can also mean trying to avoid things that require fine motor control like twist off caps, writing with a pen, doing up buttons, tying shoe laces, etc. i also try to stay away from skinny objects that require me to flex my hand tighter is harder on me also. if you trusy someone enough, even ask someone else to brush your hair for you.

when my hands are bad, i switch to using my cutlery in a baby grip instead of the way i was taught for 'manners'. Holding my fingers that way, especially while holding an object, strains my ligaments, joints, etc.

if you have problems with your hands a lot, buying thick handled cutlery like this kiddo is holding wouldn't be a bad idea! thats one thats on my to do list. theres lots of equipment out there thats made for troubled hands, its definitely worth looking into. hell, even straws for drinking are mucho valuable! same with paper plates and plastic cutlery that are lighter. make things easy for yourself wherever you can if you can.

second - ergonomics.

ergonomics are SO IMPORTANT. again, how we hold our hands can contribute a lot to injury and reinjury, which means its important to be mindful of that.

a lot of this is gonna be computer centric but i'd still suggest at least reading the links if you dont have one.

my biggest problem area is technically my wrists, so i need to pay special care to them in particular. because im on the computer a lot, this means creating a keyboard and mouse set up thats as supportive to healthy arm/wrist/hand posture as possible.

if youre up to it id suggest reading this link -> https://ergonomictrends.com/proper-ergonomic-typing-posture-at-computer/

and this link -> https://creakyjoints.org/living-with-arthritis/text-type-less-pain-arthritis/

not everything in here is applicable to me but i found the pencil test in particular very helpful! please be careful of the stretches in here - if youre already injured it does NOT take a lot to make it worse.

now, it can be easy to think an ergonomic computing setup costs a lot of money, cus capitalism is a tricky bitch, but things like stuffed animals , ice packs, and shifting tables around has helped me to get an ergonomic set up.

also, id worry less about screening for typos, capitalization, etc, in general. on a keyboard capitalization requires flexing the hand. if youre in a state, give yourself permission not to bother, and typos on tumblr dot com fit right in.

THAT SAID, thats in regards to typing specifivally. while helpful, i do find theyre a bit less helpful with my mouse.

that said

four - the mouse.

the mouse is actually the easiest part of computing for me personally. theres lots of ways that it can be used that i can effectively manage my pain - switching hands, using different parts of my hand, different positions, etc. that said i think if theres anything ergonomic worth buying, itd probably be an ergonomic mouse.

now im not sure what your set up is but on windows computers in the start menu theres a list of tools under ease of access

i use the on screen keyboard to do my typing because im voice-shy lol uwuw

BUT and this could also be mega valuable if you only have a phone

you can use voice to text to write

This is an option thats possible on mobile and desktop devices, and tbh if youre having hand pain, dont mind speaking out loud, but still want to write i'd really suggest this!!! it would allow you to rest your hands so they can heal while still getting out those creative energies so you can balance your emotional well being too.

alright, now...

this is the part i feel would need the most disclaimers, and would suggest that if you do this you ask for help, be they from your pharmacy, from other people who share your specific condition, or if possible a doctor.

It's basically the rest of RICE, plus some, but its easy to do more damage with them, so take care.

-> Elevate. Depending on the kind of injury, elevation can take the stress off and improve blood circulation to the area so it heals better.

-> ice/heat. this one is very easy to fuck up so be careful but switching between ice and heat can help relieve pain and speed up healing a smidge, depending on your condition. Ice works better for me because mine is an inflammatory disease and heat draws in blood to the area - this is how it helps progress healing iirc but also means extra inflammation. cold does the opposite so thats my preference.

-> compression and stability. wrist braces can help keep your hands supported while they heal, compression gloves are another one thats good for. well a lot of things but specifically circulatory issues that can mean pain. These NEED to be fitted for best results so if you can't get any customized to you talk to a pharmacist - most drugs stores will have these in stock. also they look cool >) a brace is not the same as a compression glove so keep an eye out! its easy to make mistakes when we're in pain. be kind to yourself.

-> over the counter pain medications. again, ask your pharmacist. which ones you can or can't take will be dependant on you. these can include topicals btw!! I don't use topicals because I have cats i don't want to poison, but my mom does. we have the same condition and she found that warming creams with CBD in them were especially beneficial for her hand pain. if you don't mind shelling out money and there's a Chinese medicine practitioner in your area, my mom has also had a TON of success with our local one's topicals and acupuncture. But again, this is usually a pretty expensive option, and rightfully so imo.

i personally found these fuckers to be very helpful, but i can't take them anymore because they interact another med i'm on now. but again this sort of thing is something to be careful with, especially if you're worried about your liver or kidneys or stomach lining. if you need to, don't be shy about getting someone else to open this for you. even at the store if you have to go by yourself!!!

-> i try to be careful of what i eat. if you struggle with this, please, please be mindful of not triggering yourself, and just skip to the next point.

that said, some foods do seem to aggravate or even trigger inflammation. while i cant afford to stick to an anti-inflammatory diet, I can be mindful of moderating things like my sugar and alcohol intake. a little treat is fine once in a while but i do try to shop with a preference for products that are under 15% of sugar/serving, or find products with stevia in them. for some reason aspartame seems to increase my pain levels.

also try to drink a lot of water. its hard to heal when we're dehydrated! if you can, use a straw so you dont have to hold your cup!!

five - again, try to get as much rest as you can.

if youre in a significant amount of pain, which it sounds like you are, the sleep you're getting probably isn't very restful, and your body and mind are going to have a lower threshhold for exhaustion anyway because

pain is tiring. straight up, it's exhausting. this also means your mood is probably gonna take a fuck of a hit if you're anything like me, and if you have a mental illness and/or are neurodivergent you might have a little more trouble with self management for a bit, so play close attention and baby yourself as much as possible. use your skills. if you need help finding some i do have some uploaded on my tumblr under the tag

'mental health resources'

so above all, i reiterate, whenever possible, give yourself permission to just do nothing. veg the fuck out. be patient, and seek out things you can still enjoy.

six - that said, do try to keep moving at least a little bit.

it can be possible to guard body parts over much and lead to more injuries with over compensating or if the area becomes 'locked'. it can also just mean that we need to build up our strength again. once you or your doctor or pharmacist even thinks its safe, try little itty bitty stretches. test and challenge your range of motion. this is why i'm so aggro about drawing when i can lmao but DON'T push it.

seven - self compassion meditations.

i thought these were hoaky until i did them in a therapy group and now im hooked LOL

now, which meditations i use when im in pain are...i need to be picky about them. grounding meditations in particular really seem to bring my pain top of mind and make it worse. but self compassion meditations are ones i've found some success with, and these are applicable to mental illness as well.

here's 2 ive gone thru and i think theyre decent

youtube

the above does need your hands but i found this one in particular to be very effective for my pain actually. PLEASE modify the instructions as you see fit to care for your pain!!

At the end of the day though the thing that's helped me most was getting treatment for my condition and following it as close as possible.

i'm wishing you luck and compassion and patience nonny. sending you strength. please find as many reasons to make every moment as enjoyable as possible - listening to music, watching your favourite show, snuggles - anything that lifts you up spiritually and emotionally and mentally that you can. feel your feelings, but give yourself enrichment so the next minute, hour, tonight, tomorrow, day after, next week, next month, is something you can still look forward to.

hope you feel better soon.

#freak gets asks #i hope this helps. good luck.#long post

25 notes · View notes

galactic-senator-amidala · 1 year

Text

hello! mun speaking :D

before we get started, there’s some things that are going to be pointed out here (plz read they are very important):

if you’d like to ask padme or the mun anything, use my ask box! it is open for those specific reasons! just make sure to clarify if you are asking padme or mun

if youd like to rp but dont know if ill say yes, just dm me! they are open for those reasons lol

im pretty much cool with everything as long as it doesnt involve any nsfw stuff (gore & stuff is fine, im referring to smut)

my time schedule is wack so there will be days where i am radio silent. please dont think i am ignoring you, im probs just so busy i dropped dead (id recommend priv msging me to be safe)

my main blog is @flowered-bicycles so if youd like to see how i am like out of rp, go there lol

mun goes by soka but will usually be referred to as “amidala’s (or padme’s) mun. mun also uses she/her

as hard as i will try to be like padme’s canon self, i might end up throwing a bit of myself in the rp as well. if something seems ooc, please let me know but dont be harsh about it

parentheses or // are used when mun is speaking

roleplay is either used in 3rd person or 1st person. if you have a preference you’d like me to use, dont be shy and let me know

extra and disclaimer! - this is strictly an rp blog (yes i may act and speak and react like padme, but i am no way actually her. i am in no way affiliated with star wars! (unless you count being a fan as affiliated) so this is completely fanmade! feel free (much encouraged) to like, reblog, or send/asks and make comments! the ask box has anon on as well, so if you are too shy to use your user, anon is on just for you! if you wish, giving an emoji for me to recognize you by would be greatly appreciated! you can leave comments and ill try to reply to them. i dont think my submissions are open, but if youd like to submit something then ill open them!

BLOG RULES

you may use “potty mouth” when rping in character, but please keep it pretty strictly to star wars cursing (kriff, kark, etc)

padme is straight and will be canonically shipped with anakin (cuz they are married, duhh) but if you wish to do a “non-canonical”/au where padme is shipped with your character (or is not straight), please dm me and we will work it out

keep this a SFW blog! (which means no smut!! violence / gore are accepted tho so be warned)

keep the asks respectful please

uncomfortable topics will be blatantly ignored

dont godmod.

have fun!

about padme

galactic senator

canonically married to anakin skywalker

unofficially became ahsoka’s aunt

isn't afraid to use violence

will sweet talk you to get what she wants

friends & foes

canon

anakin skywalker - open slot

ahsoka tano - open slot

satine kryze - @arandomnerdsrp358

obi-wan kenobi - open slot

(name of character) - user

PROMPT LIST! (and quotes)

here is a list of prompts that will help structure an rp (if you want to make a structured rp) or help get the rp flowing/started:

extra!: prompts and quotes can be requested together! for ex. : “can i request prompt a. with quote 6?” (or vice versa)

quotes:

1. “why did you do it? tell me”

2. “you know im always here for you, right?”

3. “let me take care of you”

4. “i thought id never see you again…”

5. “we need to get you to a hospital!”

6. “blood? why are you bleeding!?”

7. “sleep at my place tonight”

8. “you know you are my one and only”

9. “im in love with you, idiot (or di’kut)

10. “sh, stop fussing. let me braid your hair”

11. “if you steal the blankets, im going to put my cold feet on you.”

prompts:

a. it’s a mission and we got separated from the group. we are on an unknown planet and dont have any signal to comm the rest of the group. we have to try to make our way back to the ship with only each other and the things we have with us.

b. no one knows when it started, but suddenly people have started receiving red ribbons tied to their pinky and the red trails off to their soulmate. not everyone has a soulmate but we are some of the lucky few who have one. follow the roleplay as we go on a journey to follow the trail and meet eachother, and then live life together as soulmates.

c. a diplomatic mission gone wrong when a terrible virus breaks out in the planet. with the ship pulled to pieces and we are stranded on the planet, how will we survive and rebuild the ship to get off world and warn the other planets?

d. it’s a diplomatic mission to bring a planet to the side of the republic, but something goes wrong. dooku has brought his army to stop the planet from joining the republic and we get caught in the crossfire! negotiations are made and dooku has proposed a challenge for us to complete. if successfully completed, the planet may host a republic base. if lost, the planet goes to the separatists.

!! accepting additional quotes / prompts !!

#padme amidala #mun post #pin post #mun speaks #star wars #tumblr rp #star wars rp #rp blog

3 notes · View notes

g1sunstreaker · 2 years

Note

So, I read thru notes on posts sometimes and noticed your reblog on the one abt the reusable pads and "how tf do I get them to not slide around", and as i know ppl are now getting sick of that post months later, i didnt wanna reblog it (again lol), so 2 ideas:

So 1, i have those and don't have that sliding around problem, and im thinking it might be because of the type of underwear I'm wearing. They're just like normal low-rise to mid-rise briefs, not hipsters or bikini ones or anything cut special. Im thinking its so cause the crotch area of the brief shaped undies has the same width as the pad and its little snap, so i think the pads mightve been designed around that cut of underwear.

Have you tried them w those? If not and you don't mind switching to them for a week out of the month, def give that a try. The cheap 8 packs from walmart work perfectly fine but if you can, see about getting some of the period underwear (it's supposed to be like pads but its not really, its more like panty liner lvl absorbant and completely unruinable underwear, which has its own merits lol) in that cut, cause wow mad convenient and roughly similar prices (depending lol).

2, my Big Idea, is safety pins. 1 (or 2, if it feels better symmetrical, idk lol, babies dont seem to mind either way) of the baby diaper sized ones, w the pin thru the fabric on either side of the snap (thru the undies and wings but not the pad part of the pad), that sucker won't be moving on its own at all after that. If youre wearing bikini cut or hipster cut or anything like that, then safety pinning the pretty fabric side of the pad part, thru only the pretty fabric and no deeper, to your undies, is the way to go, cause I don't think the crotch width of those would let you safety pin the l&r sides of the snap to it. And id think using brief cut undies + a safety pin would def result in the desired stability. Like I'd put $10 on it, you know? I don't have $10, but if I did lol

Lol hope that wasnt weird, after i saw your reblog that popped into my head like, right away, and i thought it only right to share incase it might be helpful to the one who inspired such grand ideas lmao

Anyway hope you have a good one! :)

oh hey whatup, thanks for the ask my man! I think I use the type of underwear you're talking about? not as thin as a thong, but not a full boxer-style brief?

I've never really considered using the period panties I see in the supermarket because I was absolutely terrified of them bleeding through into my clothes all the time, but pairing them up with these might just work.

this is actually supafreakin helpful, thank you so very much!! safety pins are a fantastic idea and probably a rather obvious solution that I should have come up with 🤦 this is awesome advice!! I appreciate you and wish you a great day as well 🙏💕✨

#this ask of mine

2 notes · View notes

frostbite-the-bat · 2 years

Text

Okay, my brain is still a little scrampled eg :tm: and foggy and I'll have to go to sleep again soon but I want to ramble about this as I think writing it down may help others but also help to ram it in my own head a little bit - so this may not be worded the way id like it to but hopefully the message will still come across

This is about fanwork/headcanons/aus and such - since I am working on quite a big Deltarune AU myself and I constantly worry about it not being "canon" enough, since it is meant to be canon-esk and develop things that the player doesn't see in the game.

But... That is kind of the magic of aus! You can do so much cool stuff with an existing media, potray things your own way, change things to suit your needs or change problematic things, add cool ocs, add cool headcanons and make them canon in the au and create things to support them even more, and other things!!! literally go ham and have fun!!!!!! i am thinking abt that one post that i rbd a while ago that i rbs bc of the last addition abt aus and how people should make oc worlds at that point (and how that is how twilight was created)

And I suppose, if you change canon characters too much and claim them as your ocs (like the fucking mass amount of spamton ex ocs, and we know how i feel about those /neg) but still!! literally just have fun its not harming anyone, only absolutely butthurt negative assholes!!! ive been worrying about changing stuff in **MY** au because one or two people out there may not like it.

if you were in the early bugsnax fandom you may remember the drama about people giving them tails. yes!! people argued abt giving grumpuses tails!! and like !!who cares!! change the designs however the fuck you want! go ham!! make them fluffy! give them cute ears and tails! give them paw pads! give them cool markings! make them in your design and make your version of them truly yours and make it fun to draw! im sure all those designs are lovely and fun and if you wanna do it nothing should fucking stop you

and same goes for me and other ppls hcs!! currently i was worrying about making everything kinda furry-esk in my dpau and all that, and the MASSIVE changes ive done to plugboys and yesmen especially (literally making yesmen snake people for several reasons)

and like!! who cares its not canon!! its MY interpretation!! its MY au!! my au that changes so much stuff and allows me to create an amazing oc story and world within an pre-existing media AND letting those characters interact with canon characters!! and add new stories with canon characters and expand canon species!! literally dont hold yourself back unless it stresses you out and shit! (i need to learn that lol..i add TOO much stuff) its not even canon and i fully know the difference!!!

but literally! its also an outlet for creativity and i think you should be allowed to go ham if you want. if someone tells you to not do something like give grumpuses tails or make the addisons fluffy theyre an asshole.

literally like as long as ur not making the media harmful like add gross shit like p//dophilia, z//philia and whitewash characters or do any other racist digusting shit then i think u should be allowed to have fun! wanna make smthn a furry? go on ahead have fun literally fuck ppl!! who is it harming????????? like! you can also dislike these things! just scroll look away, maybe block which is all fine and healthy you can and should do that! if a hc doesnt match yours and may make you uncomfy literally just ignore it. dont start shit thats pointless. spend ur time better, draw cute puppies instead or smthn!! or speak about it privately bc i think being a bit bitchy with friends is okay to have an outlet but if you go directly after someone literally fuck off. (i personally can confirm theres some things i bitch about a lot but guess what i also do!! i also block those things and look away!! and im actively tryna get better than be hurt over pointless stuff online bc its not smthn im proud of)

but like srsly.. let ppl have fun n shit!!! srsly theres no harm in it fjgirhgotr yall 2 serious

2 notes · View notes

slyshyfoxy · 6 months

Text

16 December 2023

Helloo its me, honestly ever since i have been sick , i have been taking MCs out of no where and honestly thats very bad and not responsible and not displicined. I have been telling myself not to take any MCs anymore but i just kept oversleeping or finding it hard to sleep at night. I think i might be putting too much stress on myself. Even tho i think i will only be earning $1700 this month and this is damn bad, but its okay bah.... In the end in the future i'll have to continue to work and i'll probably earn more money, so i do not need to worry about it. And good things aside I have brought games that actually felt like rejuvenated my soul, like playing pokemon and kirby really like make me feel like its fun to live again? i guess, i think what is still lacking is having friends to talk with too. But i think meantime, i should also focus on being punctal to my work, and having proper attendance, starting from next week, and if jolyn kept on pushing to meet, just dont meet her LOL, cause u need to be fully on ur attendance, cause u only gonna be earning $1700 this month which is damn little..... ya i just need to focus on turning up, its okay to be late, just turn up for work ok, and focus on the things u want in life, to open up the business ID and doing insurance side ways. Which is u need to focus on ur work and be more proactive in asking for more work, from ayeaye, javier or even RE Then, actually can ask him for more work it is ok i guess? Oh and start doing ur interim report, just do and not think so much you will be fine. Overrall, i feel like i have been spending alot of money which is bad, i need to limit my spendings. probably not to be on shopee so much anymore. Basically the small goals i have for myself right now is : 1. Turn up for work consistently and not to be late, have to sleep early at night. 2. Limit me on gaming 1 hour 30mins a day unless Saturday or sunday. 3. Workout !!! 2 times a week. 4. Continue with my car goals. 5. Continue to eat healthily, Like not to eat fried food as much.

Oh and i lost 1kg from trying to diet, which is somehow good i guess, i am trying at least, to make my body get used to it. 16 Dec 2023.

0 notes

namuneulbo · 6 months

Text

week one hundred and nine

ive decided im gonna add the title bff to l for a bit now so its easier to tell apart my bff l from my talking stage l lol.

all i remember from monday was that n made me pick my fav trigun character. apparently im wolfwood lovercoded so she was happy i picked him.

tuesday was my high school grad! i wore a big white button-up as a dress w a black tie and my cowprint heels. i liked the outfit a lot!

the ceremony was wayyy longer than anticipated. afterwards my mom took some real awkward pictures of me. later we went for food, we were gonna get mexican but ended up going to this asian fusion place that turned out to be shit TT

we walked through some stores afterwards and then sat at a café for a bit before i had to leave to catch my piercing appointment. i got my right lobe and my belly pierced!! it hurt less than i expected it too which was nice. i got pretty anxious afterwards though bc i thought my ear would heal like shit bc of how close it seemed to the other piercing but its fine now lol.

wednesday we (me, i, bff l and c) hung at bass place and watched the annual president ball hand shaking thing. my old drum teacher was there??? i devoured some cucumber w dip and then i was nice enough to drive us to the music quiz. me and bff l ended up joining l and a. they played hash pipe by weezer right as we joined them which i got really excited ab!!!

i had an oral exam on thursday and i was so terrified ab it. me and d hadnt practiced beforehand but we ended up passing and i think our convo still ended up quite good. the criticism i received afterwards was ab how i said "이 아침" and "이 밤" instead of "오늘 아침" and "오늘 밤". its all good though, ended up getting an a on it so :D

friday i went to a second-hand shop to look for clothes but i had forgot that the one i went to doesnt sell clothes so i ended up looking and cds for a bit. i found born this way on cd and snapped l like "omg lol should i buy it?" but he didnt answer until i had left so i had just kind of left it behind bc i didnt think it was worth it but then later when he answered he was all like "OMG NOOO U SHOULDVE GOTTEN IT SO WE CAN MATCH" TT. so, on saturday when i went out to go thrifting, i stopped by that shop again and got it.

on friday evening me and l watched the perks of being a wallflower. i really liked it and the soundtrack was so good. its one of his favorite movies and i had either way been planning to watch it. he asked me actually last week if i wanted to watch it together w him but we ended up not doing it but i was glad he still remembered on friday.

btw we exchanged twitter on friday. i had to delete all my tweets ab him beforehand so ended up leaving him on delivered for like an hour TT sorry, pookie, im just embarrassed if u see all the tweets ab u of me going "HES SO HOT HE JUST SENT ME SUCH A CUTE PICTURE OF HIS OUTFIT OMG HES SO-."

after buying the cd on saturday i went to one other shop and there i got an anklet and a flannel. i wouldve gone to a third one but it was closed. i wouldve gone today instead buttttttt it closes so early. it closes and 4 pm and i woke up at 12 pm and spent a good... two hours (?) getting ready and the stores quite far away and its massive so i dont think id be able to look through it in time TT maybe im just making excuses.

l and i didnt really talk yesterday, only like... three snaps each and some tiktoks. he was out on bereal yesterday though so im assuming he was just busy and also its good to not,, feel like u constantly HAVE to talk to keep it going, yk? im working a lot on my anxious attachment and its actually gotten way better over just the past few weeks id say bc im starting to really feel like the feelings are thoroughly mutual. with that said... i do hope we talk more today lol. i love talking to him.

sotw: weezer - hash pipe

#diary #tumblr diary #namuneulbo #online diary #diary blog

0 notes

kingmojomonkey · 6 months

Text

Personal rant ignore (Dec 2023 part 2)

after a week the texts has stopped as i predicted im both glad/relieved as i knew it was stupid but also a teeny bit disappointed, but now at least i know that there is people i can be attracted to and want to talk to, that may actually like me back idk but its something at least...though they couldve at least liked the last message that is what i would do lol i might mute their insta stories for a few days just so i dont feel a type of way but also I'll put of a pic on mine hopefully looking alright haha but thats petty as shit and feeds into me wanting them to text when i know its dumb territory

Update 15 dec 2023, 5 days after the start of this post....so the texting didnt stop nor did i post something up, they had text me in like nearly 24hrs when i wrote this but at the weekend at 12.15am my time so 1.15am for them they text me, when clear they were out out/drinking it was an innocent text but i could tell they were out because of the spelling (i know they cant speak english good but it was different to their other texts and the time made me put 2 and 2 together) even though i was awake i didnt text back at that time haha that seemed like an even worse idea then the two of us texting normally does...i was suprised when it was deleted the next day and weve been continuing are texts since then its basically had only been one response to each per day and incredibly innocent and they had been sending some as voice notes as they said it was easier to speak then spell for them in english and hearing them say my name in the way that nonirish or british do (they say it as knee-cole rather than nih-cole) was a feeling haha....but yeah it had been incredibly innocent nothing i would be worried with cuz hey in my head maybe they couldve been just like nicole was a cool person that i met id like to keep in touch with them, because like i said its been incredibly innocent texts helped by only one message and a short one at that too...but today they implied slight more than you are just an interesting person as they added a 😙 to the end of their text (never one to flirt i had sent my normal 😊😅 alongside my replies to the text) as for their reply...they stupidly asked me about work even though i said im currently out of work because i dont start my new job until late january...and their reply was smooth and scary for me "ah that's good then that means we can text more 😏" with a fucking smirk emoji!!! like shit so it isnt all innocent which im still 50/50 because again were both dumb for texting each other diff countries diff languages etc etc, but know they know i dont work so i dont realistically have an excuse not to text them back for like 16hours which is shit haha but also like damn? and I cant really talk about this to anyone because it is all still fairly innocent and been going on for less than 2 weeks so i cant say it to my friend (the one who introduced us) as it is to early to mention when they could just stop talking to me tomorrow and as for my other friend shell think im stupid for responding hahahah

update 16 dec 2023

so I did reply and to my reply they said they were in work and theyd reply later which is fine especially knowing that i dont work rn, but a funny thing happened the slight flirtier text was that we could text more and they put the kissy emoji to the next evolution 😘 which dear god why i never know what to do but i liked it through the notifications bar, and the later on my walk checked that it sent and it did, but later in the evening when i very much knew theyd be off work especially because their timezone is an hour ahead i went to check my messages and it came up that i never opened their text the stupid like didnt send or unsent or something idk but that was funny and stupid for me and we text back and forth for a bit again very innocent...but they again was out with their friends and its clear that theyre someone who goes out or drinks at least every weekend, which shouldnt be suprisisng as thats how i met them, but it calls the stupidity of our interactions into question what if they get drunk and tell their friends they are still texting the girl from the drunken make out who lives in a different country and doesnt speak their language and that makes them realise were being stupid or if they drunk text me something big dumb or more realistically they meet someone else which is the most likely option and ill understand they wouldnt even have to warrant me a text they dont owe me anything that way, we literally made out once, but it will still disappoint me,....however as they have been getting brave again with their texts how am i meant to flirt and dear god if we make it to a sexting stage on what instagram that would be so fucking weird and also to what point unless they decide to do a trip to dublin (not staying with me) or gran can or some shit nothings ever going to happen...but this is just my stupid over thinking in question they could decide tomorrow to stop texting me or more realistically monday because theyll probs be out drinking again tomorrow, its only been like 12 days for all i know im just theyre manic pixie dreamgirl that blew in from a different country and had a slight interest in them and gave them more confidence then they generally do apparently (my friend and the other girl that knew them was suprised that they went in for a kiss and a long one at that) and when the idea of me goes so will the texting idk everrytime is dumb and i also like the idea and the possibility of them but is the fact that they are unattainable realistically the draw? idek lol

Update 17 dec 2023

So they were out last night, they had sent me a love heart at end of last text, but i was pretending to go out too so the text had just said speak to you tomorrow followed by ooh have fun too with the heart, which i just liked because that doesnt warrant a reply because all i could of said was okay or thanks...and they haven't text me all day, maybe the copped on that i have sent a kissy emoji or genuine heart emoji back or maybe they just realised the whole situation is dumb i dunno but either that was a last text or theyll text me in a day or too i just know i cant be the one to text again today, the ball is in their court because i know for the next month at least that im not going to see/make out with anyone -unless i go out to either of my uni friends but they both have partners so its not like we'd be going clubbing lol so chances of that are slim- so idm texting harmlessly and getting to know them and a bit of flirting but they are going to be the one who will have to either ignore my existence or straight out say something either like we'll see where this takes us or this is dumb lol.....its been a few hours after i wrote this last piece and it is very much clear to me that i want them to text and that scares me...because do i like them or do i just like the attention i have gone from at least 4 non family people (in ibiza i was surrounded by other roughly my age or in same experience and in college i was too) now it is only my mam and sisters, so is it the attention of someone who is not a family that i like or do i like them? and like clearly i like them enough that i gave them my insta and made out and danced with them that night when i had another option that night (a friend of theirs who tried too too hard) and to be honest they do seem like a genuine person their job is okay, they spend time with friends and family and theyre really sweet.....and this is a problem for me because i have caught the slightest of feelings for them or even just to see where this goes which could literally be already done by now if they dont reply until tomorrow because idk and yes i could easily text them and just be like hey how was your day but its 21.37 there now and i know they do be up early early like 6am so it would be late for them if i text now and also if they did meet someone last night i dont want to pop up as a notification ugh i shouldve text earlier but now its too late idk idk idk idk why am i so awkward

Update 18 Dec 2023

I kinda gave myself panic attack over the situation...because in my head i was like oh if they text me in the morning before they go to work its fine but they didnt and then i was also thinking maybe because i just liked their last message maybe they thought i wasnt interested and that was panicking me (when in reality it is more than likely because they realised its dumb that we text) so idk...but i left them a text there just hey how are you how was your weekend and a smiley face if they dont reply in 2 days i know its over (and id go in and delete my message lol) and they judt reply with good and no extension message I'll know and I'll try to fizzle it out like i was initally...it just fucks me up more because they had got a bit more flirty in the last couple of days if they hadnt i wouldve been fine leaving it the way it was idk but i feel like a dumb bitch for getting anxiety over it...update from many hours later, they did reply (though had i not text I'll never know if they weren't going to) and it was nice...then they later asked me for my actual phone number for whatsapp because it's somehow easier there idk idk what change having them on whatsapp will be but it who knows....however whatsapp in general scares me because i always feel so close to accidently writing or ringing the wrong person

Update 21 Dec 2023

So they added me on whatsapp and the texts continued they have been sending some kissy emojis and hearts and shit, though the conversations has been still very innocent...they sent a photo of themselves (and their mother technically haha) and though their head is probably the length of my torso because they are super tall they are still cute, which meant i was suppose to text them back a pic and i stupidly forgot to put it on the once off picture thing which sucks so it means they just straight up has my pic now but its an alright one im literally outside with my jacket hood pulled up and shit jaha....but they text me something brave and i dunno how to feel about it lol, like i get their idea because why would we bother to text if not to eventually meet up, basically they figured out I'm free until the end of jan and said they might potentially come to dublin....scary thought but exciting nonetheless...if they did come though, they must get a hotel cuz they cant stay with me and i would prefer if they came with a friend so there wouldnt be an immense pressure on me because we dont really speak the same language so of they came with a friend they can still do things together and then maybe we could meet up and if they did decide to come desr god let it only be for like 1 night 2 max because again so much pressure...but also if someone who i only made out with once and just very innocently text since flies to my country in the hope of going on a date/fucking me how would my ego ever recover lol...when they said about possibly coming to dublin i just replied with ooo that would be nice, as thats not a yeah totally book it in or its not a ew why would you do that its potentially like a maybe...but i was also talking to my friend and i do need to make it clear that im going to gran can and i wont be able to easily hop back and forth to amsterdam like maybe when im in mallorca it would be easier but who knows lol its crazy and i feel like i need to text the friend whos in amsterdam for more advice lol but shes going to think im so fucking dumb for texting them but she is also the most romantic out of us all so i think she would be the most like aw no way but i need to make sure she is in ibiza when i text haha so she cant spread it to her friends and it gets back to them that ive been talking about them....also theres the possibility that it won't happen and the possibility that between now and new years even that they'll meet somebody else and all will be done so idk whether its worth it to tell her ill wait until the 27th of dec to tell her thats 6 days I'll see what happens there....and also the weird thing about the texting is weve never been like oh i like you or your cute or hot or whatever and they had been sending the emojis and i was just sending back smileys but when they said goodnight after the dublin thing i sent back a love heart for the first and i havent got a reply but f them i replied first the other time they can text if they want to if not fine

Update 22 Dec 2023

so they still havent replied since i did the love heart with the goodnight and tonight is friday so theyll be defo going out so I'm probably not going to get a text again i think that was it lol but im going to post a pic to my insta later and one of the field on whatsapp to get them to maybe see it lol...in a very insecure insecure way im thinking why when i finally send them back a heart after them sending it to me and me just doing smileys have they not text the insecurity in me is thinking were they only texting to see how long or what would make me send something back or express emotion i know that a shitty insecure way to think but it is where im at right now like even if they had replied at all yesterday or today it wouldve been better i wish i didnt put the heart at the end of it because it came up seen and all so they clicked onto it....well at around 9 ill post a picture on insta so theyll see it and i wonder if then ill get a text lol.....they viewed my story so like why not just text me, i know i said it would be okay if they stopped and it would but like not on a vulnerableish text if even if it was just a hear emoji lol...and more so like why did they get me on whatsapp, why didnt they just leave it with insta, they text for a couple of days and brave texts too on whatsapp for what reason? at least had it of just been insta you could just let if fizzle out like but why oh why....and the annoying thing is i do really want them to text but i really cant be the one to text back this time i also have been on my period for this journey which also isnt helping so i dont know how much my emotion is my own or just dumb hormones but still ghosting after them last few messages wtf

Update 24 Dec 2023

So it's been 4 days since the last text so I think thats that, shit that the end was at xmas and I also was on my period so i was feeling the hormones hard, but i really don't see them texting again and i am not going to as my 'goodnight 💕' was the last text so it really is on them, and i know 4 days isn't really a long time but when it had been a text or half text everyday it does seem like a lot...and unless i get a text tomorrow or the 26 saying sorry i was busy or just merry xmas how are you i will make no attempt to text them back....but again why ghost after getting flirty mentioning dublin and finally get the heart off me why dip then? dip when it was just how are you good what about you dip at boring times not when things are getting flirty but whatever i have know since the start that it was dumb dumb...but i am self aware enough that i know ill probably panic write about this over the next week lol

Update 25 Dec 2023

will i be desperate and send them a merry christmas even though they never text? it is such a desperate plea for a text and they could ignore it or worse like it its just going 10pm there will i chicken out out is it way to desperate will i leave until 10.30 here so its 11.30 there so it will seem like a drunk text who knows not me will update later....desperate me left a merry christmas 😊 text ew i hate myself for it lol

Update 28 Dec 2023

They did reply and weve been texting a bit again just really about xmas and families stuff like that...I can tell that they too, are insecure, from two separate mesage interactions one was the sent a picture off the table of an afters party and then basically sent an oh shit that on the table wasnt from me (a bag of weed was what they were implying, but everyone in my fam smokes it and they're from amsterdam and it was only weed and alchol on the table lol) which i thought was funny because like why send the pic apart from to show off that they were out lol but when i said i didnt care they were oh i was worried when i realised what was in the photo (i think nah i think they wanted my opinion on weed lol) the 2nd insecure thing was when we were talking about family i asked them was there family big and they responded but they are a multiple small texts texters whereas im paragraph texter but if you join the small texts it basically makes one paragraph text lol and yes my response to what they were saying was a bit dry but i was responding hours later and it was more of a statement that they had sent rather than something i could yes and, and then a good while later they replied, and i paraphrase, "four messages one story a little too enthusiastic 😅" initially i thought it was a dig at my response and like it is kinda because it implies that while they feel like they overshared it didnt seem like i was interested or something idk but it shows that they were insecure enough about their interest in texting me that they text me that if that makes sense? While i am not one to be puffing up someones ego i did text them back that it was realisticaly 2 sentences and they were responding to something i had asked (i didnt add this part but it wasnt like they randomly volunteered the info) but thats the end of the insecurity shit....so yeah weve been texting again id say only because i started up the texting again and theyve sent like a hi with a heart and a goodnight with like a smiley or like kissy emoji but again tonight when they sent goodnight with the kissy emoji i only replied with the blushy smiley because after i sent the heart the last time i got ghosted lol so we'll see im not going to start the texts tomorrow so well see if they do who knows (while it seems desperate i am not going to say i wont text them im giving myself until new years eve to be desperate and text lol i needed something to do in this time void until then lol)

Update 30 Dec 2023

The texting continued bla blah blah but theyve asked me to facetime tomorrow which fucking scares me! Im awkward enough in texts/in person but video call is even worse? and how the fuck am i meant to look good and not worry and it is also nye tomorrow and how will i not be overheard if theyre getting ready to go out? or worse again if im minding my nephew i cant exactly sneak away for a facetime (also i dont have facetime so itll have to be on whatsapp) dear god this is awkward!!......this is from 4pm the following day - i replied to them pretty late but still replied, i had said "yeah sure" to the facetime and then they had they had been with there friends so i just said "cool, i was watching a movie with my sisters" which would also explain the longer wait time in replying...they 'seen' the message just before 9am this morning and just never replied lol, which again like the time with the hearts is annoying because why ghost after you get me to reply the way you wanted me too? i never suggested facetime (it literally never even crossed my mind as an option lol) so like were they drunk when they text it yesterday and realised this morning and chickened out idk idk but still it would be easy to ignore the facetime part and still text...but in anyways i had sent the reply and they havent responded and it wasnt even a goodnight or have fun that didnt respond to so its not like a hey new day text so its a bit more awkard.....

Update 31 Dec 2023 NYE

okay so out of no where no where no pretext which is so strange like bro we havent done a videocall before you can't just randomly ring after not texting and never calling before...i did have make on and my hair done but i was in my pjs haha i never locked my phone sceeen as fast hahaha...ovo i didnt answer i waited 15mins and said oh sorry i didn't see it i was having some food and they were like oh whoops or some shit and i said if you give me 5 mins i could and they said they were at a friends? what in 15 mins bahaha but i said maybe another time then because i dont want our first call to be infront of their friends like wtf and they said the same but now theyre like oh ill text you if theres a right moment like okay? idk....they calls randomly again i answer, and theyre saying theyre nervous etc but they are saying this as fireworks are going off in the background and as theyre walking and i cant hear shit because its all crackling and all and then theyre trying to say about their english and im just nodding being like its okay etc meanwhile i cant hear shit hahaha they said theyll ring me at 12 which is grand for me cuz thats 11 hahaha unless they call at 12 my time then thats a bit more awkward...no ring thankfully as things got fucked up at up at home at that point but they did text later but again they were drunk i also didnt reply until like 4 today as i was babysitting and just really tired haha but they replied, i sent back a quick reply to which they seen but never replied so as the saying goes idk if that was it lol...also i almost told the girl who introduced that we still text but everytime they dont reply im like this is why i havent bothered hahaha because i dont want to make it a big deal but when she returns to amsterdam she could bump into them plus if she happens to go out to the same group the group all know as they sent me random pics of the group or with people from the group in the background so they have more than likely mentioned theyre still texting the short irish girl, so i would feel weirder if she found out not by me but i also dont want to text her in case she makes it into a thing or worse talks to them about it lol but idk im leaving my own country in less than a month so idek what im doing in anyways....i still want them to text though lol why is everytime i say something about the situation to one of my friends they then proceed to ghost....and i had said id allow myself to be stupid until new years eve but idk i can be the one to text again like will thie happen each time theyre drunk idk

Update 3 Jan 2024

The text from new years day has still gone unreplied so i think ive been ghosted (they currently have a story up on their insta but i havent clicked it yet) so it kinda sucks that ive been ghosted i did like texting them and it had been texting albeit short mostly innocent texts for a month, but it sucks that the ghosting came after the like video call and shit do they only have confidence to text when drunk idk....but my friend that introduced us i had to tell because she returned home and she does go out with the them and their friends and they had been sending me pics with such friends in the photos so they probably knew that they were texting me, so i didnt want my friend to go out and them mention something and her not know...i made her promise not to tell i spoke of it tho..but it sucks i had to tell her at the same time of ghosting lol....they had put up a story a random ass one i wonder whether it was to see if i see it but then again theyre the one leaving me on read so idk but then i put on my winter insta ?carrousel? can't spell the word, and they liked it! brooooooo why i get that it could just be im strangely friends with this girl ill give it a like but brroooooooo dont leave me on read then like my post! i do like that they liked it tho!....and ive been in some sorta 'mood' that i havent been in for months so i wish they were in my city and obviously talking to me lol...and also they were so sweet and shit i am a dumb dumb dumbbbbb bitch i shouldve never replied more the day i came back to ireland lol i knew i was being a thick but ah well.... and depending how other things go in the morning i might text them

Update 17 Jan 2024

so it has been a while since i last updated...i did indeed text them that time, im kinda glad i did because we are still texting now...

and we did a like 15/20min video a week or so ago and it was really nice tbh like dont get me wrong it was very basic but i could feel that i was smiling the whole time or trying to hold the smiles in and it wasnt like they were saying anything to particular make me smile i think (puke emoji) it was just there presence?

i also definitley think their mam knows about me, i know the friends do already because they would send me pics with them...but the mam thing yeah, when the vid call started the mam started saying something in dutch to them and they were speaking back and they turn to me and was just like oh she is going to bed now and the mam shouted to the phone in english goodnight which means it was directed for me...but to be fair it is just them and their mam and they were going to be doing a call in a language that is native to them with a person of a different gender and if it was a friend they ovo couldve just spoken dutch to them so i get they mightve had to explain but still haha...

in the call i made it clear as well that my job will be in gran can (i didnt say for how long) but to be fair it is still in europe and the summer placement will be europe too i get gran can is further than ireland but like either way wed have to get on a plane to see each other so idk man

but yeah were still texting and its been cute i had a awkward one with a pic that i forgot to set to one time view...i make sure that i only would send pics id feel comfy with being on my story but the one i sent them was slightly a bit more booby lol

#nicoletxt #personal

0 notes