#it will not work

[ginnymoonbeam]

rip to Jack, already the most long-suffering of men, who has now had to watch his boss stroll shirtless through the background of his friend's livestream

I really want the montage of him episode by episode coming to terms with what's happening... moving through denial and bargaining and eventually accepting that this is his life now, his best friend is dating his boss and all the horrors that means

#a boss and a babe #you know how cher is you know jack is going to learn way more than he wants about his boss's sex life #cher will try so hard to be discreet #it will not work #at least there's free beach trips

[fuckyeahfightlock]

Taskmaster series 16 has the worst cast and worst tasks fight me

#taskmaster #Taskmaster USA is also going to SUH-HUCK #do not want #does no one understand British comedians are darling woggles and American comedians are obnoxious tryhards? #it will not work #anyway Taskmaster is disappointing me and I'm salty about it

[allo-frouto]

I tried sending you a pigeon with a message for our encounter on mount Olympus but pigeon reception over here is really bad, I'm only getting seagulls and sparrows ffs. Can't we just whatsapp each other like the mortals do?

No because we are not like them.

#<3 #therefore #it will not work #with us #oof

[sleepycoffins-and-benhargreeves]

losing my mind because i can;t read horrance fics yet because i have to post my horrance fic first which mind you guys, i just finished almost an hour ago and i will be posting alongside my playlist of which I have already edited to make a cover but like i cannot post it yet BECAUSE I CANNOT THINK OF THE PERFECT TITLE AND I AM DYING cbsdjbfkdjask

#status post #i am so tempted to just use the name of my playlist as well #but no #it's just one part of the playlist #it will not work #and i am crying #also i have to rename the cover for the playlist #CUZ I KEEP CHANGING THE FICS TITLE #AHHHHH #sdbfckjsbkcs

[miniscrew-anon]

Not to alarm anyone but I’m going to lose my fucking mind please god smite me already

#I cannot do it #it will not work #I want to post this so badly but the last three sentances #aaawoooooggaaqcha #I’m going feral

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

@magitekconveyor

#work #job #jobs #twitter #meme #memes #tweets #tweet #funny #lol #humor

[wastehound-voof]

Little old Italian lady: Do you have zucchini?

Me: Yes, right here.

Lady: Is how much?

Me: $2.99 a pound.

Lady: It's usually $1.49.

Me: Yes, in the summer.

Lady, pauses, then grabs two: I put it in a soup.

Me: Oh nice, what kind are you making?

Lady: You will not fantasize about my soup.

And then she walked away. "You will not fantasize about my soup" will be in my head forever. I love you, little old Italian lady.

#work #soup

[stargoyle]

"This person has a secret onlyfans!" "This artist does NSFW commissions!" "This author writes porn on the side!" I cannot begin to tell you how swag and awesome that is.

#text post #sex work is normal its not dirty or criminal why are we still freaking tf out ove this

[theriverbeyond]

Ideal work schedule:

I show up and am given a list of cognitively engaging but achievable tasks

I complete the list

I leave immedietly

#guy who is getting out of work at 1pm!!!! 📢 #tomorrow is my last day but u have loved this job. i love to leave. #trb.txt #i* have

[lotrmusical]

never let anyone tell you that trawling through mediocre victorian poetry isn't worth it. we just happened upon an absolute BANGER of a worm poem. go read it or else 🪱🪱🪱

#was calling beckett and scouring the works of eliza cook looking for lesbianism #good amounts of lesbianism in evidence but unfortunately very little in the way of good poetry #APART from this worm one which DOES NOT MISS #eliza cook #is there a thriving eliza cook tag on tumblr. somehow i doubt it #the hand of the giant and the heart of the brave / must turn weak and submit to the worm and the grave! #not an original theme ofc but GOD the treatment is delightful. so fresh so gleeful some rlly nice use of sound. rlly solidly constructed #words #gay belligerence

[bonesandthebees]

one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method

#I was forced to get over my hatred of making phone calls bc of this #one 15 minute phone call is the equivalent of 5 back and forth emails #also if you don't know exactly what you need help with you can just ask and you can get real help #instead of just desperately clawing at faqs on websites #it's infuriating that it works so well #ramblings

[diabloku]

Lucifer: *enters the hotel*

Alastor: I cast vicious mockery 😈

An animation my sis and I made for fun

Music is Perception Check by Tom Cardy.

#hazbin hotel alastor #Hazbin hotel #Hazbin hotel Lucifer #vivziepop #Hazbin hotel fanart #Alastor #Lucifer #Perception check #“you're much shorter in real life” #Alastor has no mercy if you're under 5“2 lol #I did: the storyboard; artworks and animation #And my sis did: the coloring; animation as well and the compositing #Team work makes the dream work lol

[anartificialsatellite]

The older I get the more I admire people who are earnestly, genuinely into whatever their thing is. I know it sounds like an annoying cliche but unless you're being cruel or hurtful there is really no need to be normal about things. The dude with the bad fake accent at the renaissance faire is having the time of his life. The people having photoshoots with their fashion dolls are loving it. The old lady with a yard unreasonably full of tacky ass lawn ornaments is having a blast, HOA be damned.

Don't waste your time being too cool to have fun, y'know?

#it's hard sometimes not to be embarrassed when people tell you you should be and im still working on it #but life is so much more fun that way

[baby-girl-aaron-dessner]

#art by: Henry James Garrett #free gaza #free palestine #save palestine #palestine #gaza #gaza strip #west bank #israeli occupation #israel #genocide #art #art work #illustration

[sylvies-kablooie]

i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.

#i often wonder about how many things would be considered classic or high art had they only received the marketing #how many short films that were made for class could have been the most powerful thing you'd ever seen? if you'd seen them? #“you know the greatest films of all time were never made” etc etc #but like. these works of art ARE being made. it's just enjoyed by a smaller audience with equal impact though #i think about this one furry i used to follow on insta who had the coolest worldbuilding ever. it's been years. #thought prompted by that sketch of nimona from ten years ago that was just for a character design #posted to the creator's tumblr and now it's nominated for best animated feature film at the oscars #and by the genuine emotional reaction a fan comic made me feel. how much work had gone into it. how beautiful it was to me. #idk what to tag this but i hope whoever needs to hear it does #writing #writer #fandom #fandom culture #artist

[nighthawkes]

I must sleep. Sleep is the mind-healer. Sleep is the big-life that brings total ability to fucking do anything. I will face my bed. I will permit the blankie to pass over me and snores to pass through me. And when sleep has gone past I will turn the outer eye to greet the new morning. When the sleep has gone there will be everything. Energy and will to live will remain.

#having a come to Jesus with myself about trying to work late #sleep is the only path to productivity. rest is the only thing that lets me get things done. #litany against not laying down