#it was enough that i risked losing access to basic education because i struggled learning it in school | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

liw-the-melancholic-apple · 4 years

Text

How it may have gone - Humble Beginnings

A fic taking place in the marauders era. While the political climate seems to head to a conflict, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter are still just teenagers. Dealing with typical teenage problems.

But this year their little group grows. Who would have known that more prefects would be a good thing?

Masterlist

Ten: Detention III

When I came back to Greenhouse 4 the next day around the same time a new list lay on the first workstation. Next to it I found the lower section of the one I had worked off of yesterday. The little facts about the plants and creatures were apparently mine to keep. I folded that piece of parchment and put it in my bag.

Then I unfolded the new list.

To Do – Day 2

Behind the bumblebush by the desks you’ll find a door. I houses the supplies and tools. It’s not locked, grab whatever you need.

One table over is a stack of books that tells you what you need to know about the various plants and animals.

Feed the Abtu in the river

Check elderly mandrakes for signs of life (or death)

Water nettles, beets and tea (green, white and black)

Cut eight branches of Dittany

Wear gloves !!! and collect Streeler slime.

The Chameleon Potion is a very advanced one but it is one of the most powerful ways of disguise. In contrast to polyjuice potion which lets the drinker only turn into one person, of whom a ‘piece’ is required as an ingredient, which poses its own risks and obstacles, the Chameleon potion enables the drinker to practically become a metamorphmagi for at least two hours after consumption.

Nettles, beets and tealeaves (fresh or dried) are basic ingredients in a lot of potions. Nettles are mostly used in healing potions to provide the best starting points for the more magical ingredients. Not a single common healing potion is brewed without nettles! Beets are mostly used for colour in cosmetic applications. White, Green and Black Tea all have different properties that are released when put in hot water. Those properties often react with more magical plants like devil’s snare or moon dew to bring the potion to full potential.

When dittany is boiled and reduced, then combined with liquid silver it becomes a paste that is a very powerful cure against werewolves bites, called Lykoiaomai. This is the full recipe: Boil and reduce dittany leaves, strain the liquid to rid it of all solids and stir it into a liquid but slightly cooled silver. The ratio is one tablespoon of liquid silver to five tablespoons of dittany reduction.

When dried over a moderate flame Streeler slime turns into thin transparent gelatinous sheets, that can be dissolved in hot water. Dissolve the sheets in white tea as a cure for sleep deprivation.

Again, with the factoids… While the last ones seemed random these appeared to be a little more tailored to my situation. Mainly because of the werewolf and sleep deprivation. Full moon would be tomorrow. All of the Gryffindor boys would be completely destroyed on Thursday, if I could find dried sheets of Streeler Slime in Slughorn’s shelves, I might just take them to see whether they worked as well as pepper up potion.

While Sirius was right and there were no side-effects to using the potion it was pretty hard to get a hold of and expensive to buy. If the giant slugs provided an alternative I could see myself nicking some jars of their slime before detention was over. It would be helpful to the boys and to Crick and me. Just yesterday the next month of nightshifts had been figured out and I was serving at least one a week, not one on the weekends. Crick had had a similar fate while Jonas got way too many Saturdays to his name. Anything that would get me through a day of classes after a nightshift was absolutely worth breaking the rules for.

On the other hand, Sprout had never once said that I wasn’t allowed to take anything from the greenhouse. Obviously I could assume that nothing was to leave the treehouse but nobody had officially forbidden it.

I got to work and finished a bit quicker than the day before. One of the mandrakes didn’t react to anything I did to it, so I assumed it to be dead and put it on the table with a note. I thought it smart to let everybody know that I wasn’t sure what a dead mandrake looked like. Just in case this one was just really old and moved so slowly I didn’t realise it. The last thing I needed was to get in trouble while serving detention.

After I placed the dittany branches on top of the books I walked back into the shed and looked through the Potions section. I found two interesting things: There were a lot of sheets of Streeler slime and there were about 12 glasses of Dittany-Silver-Paste. They were labelled with dates. All of which lay in the future. One of which was tomorrow.

I had thrown myself in a homework marathon yesterday night and written my essay on the significance of Venus in relation to death for the Thursday class. Normally I couldn’t be bribed to research astronomical deteails outside of class or homework. It was one of those subjects whose importance to general magical education I understood – unlike divination – but I really wasn’t all that interested in it. Yesterday however, I had broken out my moon chart for the decade and checked the dates of full moons. I had made a list and pinned it into my wardrobe, just so I was prepared for a weak and sickly looking Remus and a grumpy Potter-posse. Aside from that, I had a feeling that the other boys were stupid enough to hang out with Remus after he had transformed and I wanted to be able to run to their rescue when something happened.

The dates on the glasses of anti-werewolf-bite-cream were all full moon dates. Seeing how Remus didn’t need a specific potion to be healed, even if he bit himself, because he already was a werewolf and didn’t get affected by the poison in his own fangs, the existence of all of these jars seemed to proof my theory that my stupid, stupid friends did regularly lounge with a transformed werewolf. And that the school knew.

While making these observations I found one glass with a December date. The 26th, to be exact. Remus would have been with his parents during the holidays, so this one went unused. Then, again, I doubted that every other jar of this stuff had been used. Did it maybe spoil quickly? Maybe, but not very likely. There were jars labelled for next November. I went back out into the bright garden and checked the special edition book on uncommon healing potions. I had a section Dittany, the recipe for the cream and stated that it was good for roughly ten years.

So, maybe the teachers relabelled the jars after every full moon that went well. I could safely assume that every single one of these jars was good to go in case of an emergency. And that it would be for couple of years. After all Remus had only started school five and a half years ago. And I doubted, that we had more than one werewolf on campus.

I struggled with my conscience and I didn’t feel good about it. But I went back into the shed, ripped the label off the December jar and put it into my bag. Just in case I really needed to run to anybody’s rescue. When I left I felt really guilty but I also reckoned I could talk myself out of the situation if it ever came to light.

We were all pretty nervous on Wednesday. It was our first full moon. And even though we weren’t going to actually be around Remus during the night, all of us girls were hyper aware of Remus’ bad shape and what would happen at night. I was glad that we went on revising spells in Charms class that morning. That way nobody noticed how little I could concentrate. Transfiguration went fairly well, too, as it was a theoretical class and I only needed to write down notes. I did, however, pull myself together to write them completely, detailed and legible because Milla was an absolute wreck at this point. Yes, her feelings for Remus weren’t influenced by the fact that he was a werewolf but the thought of every bone in his body breaking horrified her for him. Her voice was shaky all day and it sounded like she could start crying any second. Needless to say that she didn’t take any notes at all during McGonnagal’s monologue.

“Please, keep me away from Remus!”, she begged when we crossed the foyer for lunch. “Or at least don’t let me talk to him. He already looks like death and I don’t think my state would help that at all.”

“Sure thing. We’ll distract him.”

We did. Quite successfully. By now the others knew what my detention consisted of exactly and I decided to tell the entire group about my recent venture into thieving.

“Point is, that I have that stuff. I don’t hope you’ll ever need it but in all honesty if you should ever need it, it’s probably better if you have it with you rather than it sitting in my night stand”, I whispered while smoking.

“You stole Slughorn’s supply from a restricted area of the school? You sure you’re still you, Goods?”

“Fairly certain, yeah. Honestly, I’d rather lose my badge and serve detention for the next two years, than live through the nightmare of something happening to any of you.”

“I’m with Jette”, Remus agreed strongly. Well, as strongly as he possibly could. Milla was right, saying he looked like death. His skin was basically see-through and the dark circles under his eyes nearly reached his upper lip.

“I’m not myself. What if I do bite one of you?”, his voice got a little shaky and I had the distinct impression that that had nothing to do with his physical condition.

“You haven’t yet, Remus”, James tried to calm him down, with a pad on the shoulder.

“First time for everything”, Remus half-smiled in response.

“Just take it!”, I shoved the jar in Peter’s hands. “If you never need it, I’ll be heavenly happy, but if you do need it and don’t have access to it I’ll kill myself over it. And so will Remus. So, don’t argue!”

We sent them off to their classes and descended to the dungeons to learn something or other about fever-reducing-potions. Blair took care of her cauldron that she shared with Millla and the one that Chloe and Nica were supposed to brew in, while Joe was absolutely on his own with ours. I’d told him that I wasn’t on my A-game and could barely concentrate and being the wonderful person he was, he took it upon himself to just do the potion on his own, allowing me to lift. I had to promise that I’d help him out in Defence, though. And I was more than willing to pay that price.

When I got to the treehouse that afternoon I was met by Professor Slughorn. Oh. Not good.

“Miss de Witt. How nice. I thought it useful to talk you through some of the ingredients we have you collect and store. While I’m aware that Professor Sprout provided you with the books and some additional information, I’d like for you to know a little more. You up for it?”

“Certainly, Professor.” Maybe he hadn’t noticed that I nicked his December jar.

“Very well. We will get to the Dittany you collected yesterday. First, you should feed the animals. I’ll set up over there.” He pointed at the tables and pulled out a collapsible cauldron. I scanned my list for the day that just told me to feed the fish and lay out some hay for whatever other creature. I did both those things, visited the mandrakes, who were all still alive and returned to the table.

The Dittany branches were already in the cauldron and a shimmery, shiny substance sat atop a different fire. Shimmery, shiny and silver. Maybe he had noticed that I nicked the jar.

“Now, I’m sure you can guess what we’re doing today.”

“The potion – paste – that Professor Sprout wrote about. The one that heals werewolf bites?”

“Excellent. Five points to Hufflepuff.”

“Oh, thank you, Sir.”

“Now, I’m aware you don’t like potionmaking all that much. Contrasting your brother, who is still doing brilliantly.”

“Happy to hear that, Sir.”

“But with your strong suit being Defence against the Dark Arts, I don’t think that it would be crazy to assume you at least think about working in theat field. I would favour you for an auror but obviously you might end up a curse breaker, a member of the department for magical law or a dejinxer at St. Mungo’s. Every single one of these professions is connected to potions and potionmaking in one way or another. And if you’d ever want to apply to the auror training programme you need to have achieved an A at least in your NEWTs. So, I thought we’d try to install some interest in you by meeting here every now and again during your detention to work on interesting and practical potions. Would you be okay with that?”

“Of couse, Sir. Thank you. This is probably the best opportunity anybody has ever gotten by getting detention.”

“Well, I personally don’t agree with your actions, Miss de Witt. But I also don’t agree with those of my own students.” I had fully forgotten that Slughorn was Slytherin Head of House.

“What Messrs Black and Mulciber said and did does not represent my house. I trust you know that. And I don’t want you to miss opportunities over a throw-away nasty comment.”

“Thank you, Professor. I appreciate that. A lot. A whole lot.”

“Let’s get to work then.”

He went through the recipe and one or two tricks that could help me when brewing the thing myself. At the end we had produced four more of the jars. Three of them Slughorn put on his shelves, one he gave to me.

“I’d guess you won’t need it anytime soon. But it keeps nearly forever, so it won’t hurt to keep it for emergencies in whatever field you chose to work. And now that you know how to brew it and should wish to practice again, you can always ask me for the ingredients or supplies. I would have to supervise your use of them. You’ll understand that I don’t want you to take the silver for making jewellery. “

“Completely.” Frankly, I didn’t understand anything that was going on but I ran with it. By this point I was one hundred percent certain that Slughorn had noticed the theft. Otherwise he’d not have said that I could ask him for more of the potion. I thought he’d be mad at me but since he wasn’t I had to conclude that he knew about Remus’ condition and my friendship to him.

When Slughorn dismissed me it was pitchblack outside. I quickly looked up. The moon hadn’t fully risen yet, but it was definitely visible. According to our DADA material the transformation didn’t happen until the moon had done exactly that. Full rise and full moon. I imagined that the boys had already eaten and were on their way to wherever they hid during these nights. They’d gone so far as to tell us that there was a hideout but not where it was.

My steps quickened as I crossed the lawn. Suddenly, the lights from the castle’s windows seemed very far away. How fast did the moon rise? How far away from the castle was the hideout? Did the boys get there in time for the transformation? I quickened my steps. I started jogging. I did not want to run into Remus tonight. Absolutely not. Nope.

“Goods!” I stopped. Turned around.

“Sirius?”

“What are you still doing out here? Moon’s nearly risen.”

“Why d’you think I’m running?” I couldn’t spot any of the other boys.

“Oh… are you scared of the big bad wolf?” Sirius smug smirk appeared on his lips.

“I thought I already told you that I’d rather not run into a transformed werewolf. So, yeah. I love Remus, I do, but …”

“You don’t want to share his fate.”

“Well, no I don’t. And I’d rather not die, either.”

“Fair enough. No need to be scared, he’s already where he’s supposed to be.”

“Why aren’t you?”

“Forgot you wonder potion in the dorm… We have a fairly established routine for nights like these. And your stupid jar, is not yet part of it. But Remus insisted I get it.” I swung my backpack from my back to my chest and opened it.

“What are you doing?” I handed him the new jar of dittany and silver.

“Slughorn was at detention. He must have noticed that I stole one of the jars and taught me how to brew it. I got to keep one. Fully legal this time.”

“What kind of detention is that? I only ever get to clean things or write the same sentence over and over again.”

“Haven’t quite worked that out yet. But it seems to have some kind of deeper meaning. Slughorn said that he’d stop by more often during detention to teach me potions. The useful kind that I might enjoy brewing. He said it’s to help me get into the auror programme but I don’t know whether I should believe that.”

“Curious” Sirius looked up at the dark sky. “I gotta run.”

“Right… Hug Remus for me, yeah?” Sirius tilted his head. He didn’t look impressed with that suggestion.

“Or tell him I’m hugging him mentally.”

“Will do.” He was ready to head back to where he had come from.

“And be careful, you hear?”

“You worried about me?”, again he smirked at me.

“Yes, Sirius, I am. About all of you. Including Remus. So, be careful and not arrogant or heroic or Merlin knows what. Okay?”

Sirius came a little closer and studied my face.

“Nothing will happen, Goods. We’ve done this for a while now. We know what we’re doing.”

“Yeah, right because it’s such a common practice to ru…”

“Nothing”, Sirius interrupted me “will happen to any of us. I promise.” He gave me that look that made one feel like he uncovered the deepest and darkest secrets of one’s soul.

“Fine. Fine, fine. Run off, then.” I pushed him against his shoulders to give him some momentum.

“Get something to eat you worried Goodie-two-shoes”, Sirius grinned as he ran back into the blackness of the grounds.

I continued on my way to dinner, slower than before, but distinctly more concerned. He could promise me that they’d be fine a million times, I would never fully believe that none of them took unnecessary risks. That was in their blood. They were inherently adventurous. To the point of stupidity. This was going to be a long night. I doubted I’d get any sleep at all.

Entering the Great Hall and spotting Milla, Blair, Chloe and Nica I realised that none of us would sleep. We’d all be awake all night assuring one another that the boys would be fine. Although none of us were sure about that.

#james potter #remus lupin #marauders fanfiction #marauders era #original character #sirius black #harry potter #peter pettigrew #james & peter & remus & sirius

1 note · View note

meydi21 · 7 years

Text

Proceed with Caution: Disclosing Autism On The Job

Proceed with Caution: Disclosing Autism On The Job In the article, Microsoft Wants Autistic Coders. Can It Find Them And Keep Them?” Vauhini Vara reported: “ . . . millions of adults with autism often find themselves in a difficult bind. They struggle to get and keep jobs because of the disability, but if they disclose it so they can seek accommodations while applying or working—just as someone in a wheelchair, for instance, might request a ramp—they risk facing discrimination from managers or colleagues who mistakenly believe autism, because it affects the brain, must make them less able workers.” The Virginia Commonwealth University website states: disclosing “may be a major cause of anxiety or concern for people with disabilities as well as those who assist them when looking for a job.” It’s important to understand the sensitive subject matter of disclosure. In a recent phone conversation I had with Adam Glass, the Career Path Coordinator at The Autism Initiative at Mercyhurst(AIM), Glass noted that some students state something along these lines: I don’t want to be treated differently. I don’t want to be associated with autism . . . I don’t want to be seen for my weakness. Despite the college students’ justifiable trepidation, as part of the AIM program at Mercyhurst University, Glass encourages the students to disclose their disability. He explains they don’t have to necessarily disclose autism upfront but can choose to disclose a symptomology disclosure. In other words, to disclose a coexisting condition such as sensory integration challenges or a subset of a condition such as over sensitivity to specific uniform fabrics. Glass takes time throughout the year to explain what disclosing a diagnosis of autism can and cannot do, and poses all options, including what happens if you do and what happens if you don’t. He asks each pupil to choose what feels right for you and advices to follow your dreams not stay in a bubble. He informs students of their legal rights and advices if you don’t disclose, you won’t know what options and accommodations you might have access to. He helps students to interpret the law and to understand their employment rights. When Glass and his colleagues travel to meet with employers, who have autism hiring initiatives, they bring some of their students along. And quite often, meeting face-to-face, the potential employees ask the autistic students, “What do you need from us?” What Glass is doing is inspiring, and something that ought to be implemented on high school campuses and college campuses nationwide. His primary goal is to empower and encourage. And part of this goal is achieved through teaching the basics of disclosing. He teaches autism is an integrate part of you, but it’s never you. He emphasizes the divide between individuals who push onward and those that don’t. What I would call resilience. And what autistics can offer that others cannot. When an individual is considering whether or not to disclose a diagnosis of autism several factors come into play: · How self-confident and knowledgeable about autism is the individual? · Does the individual have a mentor or support person? · Is the individual aware of disability rights? · Is the individual able to ask for reasonable accommodations, if needed? · Is the individual resilient and able to face probable stereotyping, assumptions, and misinterpretations? · Is the individual self-empowered? Before setting any person, whether young or old, on the path of disclosing in the workplace, we must be realistic. Most autistics, after disclosing on the job, face some form of discrimination, myself included. Take for example what an audiologist from the UK wrote: “If I choose to disclose my AS (Aspergers) at work, management is initially understanding but then put me in difficult environments due to my experience and end up refusing to make any environmental or procedural adaptations for me. This leads to increased absence, anxiety, rigid thinking, inflexibility and ultimately meltdown (which occurs outside of the workplace, negatively affecting friends, family and romantic relationships). I usually resign before I meltdown at work. I am concerned that I will become unemployable, if I develop a reputation for unreliability in such a small industry . . . We don’t ask for ‘special’ treatment. We ask for certain conditions to allow us to function at the same level as the rest of the workforce. Once these conditions are met, you will find you have the hardest working, most loyal employees around.” A day treader with Asperger’s Syndrome had this to say, “I don’t know what’s worse, being judged because no one knows you have autism or knowing that if you tell people you have autism that action alone is going to come off as extremely strange. In theory, I won’t only be judged for my autism, but for the mere action of disclosing.” A 30-year old autistic man, who wished to remain anonymous, wrote: “I deeply regret sharing my diagnosis. My coworker thought Aspergers was an extremely awful disability that makes people uncomfortable. He had no reference point. And nothing was ever the same again. It resulted in the end of our working relationship. If I was ever to go into another job, the last thing I would ever do is tell them I was autistic . . . because they are just going to misinterpret it. I mean it’s a deal breaker for all NTs (neurotypical/non-autistic); they are never going to look at you the same. It’s not that I am afraid of what they think. I just know that once I tell them that it can never be undone. That’s not just in the workplace. It’s with doctors, family members, even my own parents . . .” That’s the thing about an invisible condition: sometimes we have a choice of whether or not we want others to know. And for good reason, some of us choose not to disclose at all. There is still a lot of misinformation out there surrounding the autism spectrum condition, still a high likelihood of facing the wallop of discrimination, once an autism diagnosis is mentioned. Ironically, today’s business and university leaders often denote autism with an aura of less than, using the words ‘they’ and ‘help them,’ and implying, and even stating, workers on the autism spectrum are incapable of leadership and management—even as large numbers of autistics are the very ones entrusted to educate our children as teaching assistances, general education and special education teachers, and college professors. Furthermore, some of us ‘with autism’ are in highly influential positions, serving as civil servants, defense lawyers, oncology doctors, and pediatric nurses. Whether we publicly admit our autism/Aspergers or not, we are out there in much larger numbers than currently reported. And it’s common knowledge that Silicon Valley and Bellevue, WA hubs, and other technology city centers, are overtaken by professionals with autistic attributes and traits—but maybe by another name—gifted, geek, nerd, genius. To this day, five years after my diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome, I ponder the pros and cons of being out of the “autistic closet.” In considering whether someone should disclose they are on the autism spectrum, a marching band of pros and cons arise. Anyone who is autistic can easily venture into the feasible benefits and risks of disclosing on the job. We all know, and some have lived at some level, the risk of backlash from supervisors and co-workers. And some of us are fortunate enough to know the benefits of an inclusive and accepting work environment. There isn’t a right or wrong answer to disclosing autism or Aspergers on the job. Still there is a potential threat—it’s always there. And there are ramifications, regardless of any precautionary measures taken. In reality, autism is a baby in the realm of marginalized minorities. Swarming is false, outdated, and unsubstantiated information about autism spectrum disorders. Beginning to fly, queries of whether or not autism is even a disorder. And false information certainly abounds. When paid professionals in the field of psychology are mistaking sustained eye contact, empathy, imagination, and ability to make friends as markers against feasibly having autism, how can we expect that the average non-autistic will get it? When “sensitivity” trainings and conventions about autism are saturated by educators and presenters who are non-autistics, how are we heard? And how many immediately box us into constricting conclusions of less than, needs special treatment, fragile, or a charity case? How many think us to be like the one autistic they already know or have heard about? How many of us lose who we are and become something we are not, in the eyes of another, with the mention of autism? “Disclosure provides opportunities to educate and inform other people about autism, and to advocate on behalf of those within our community who may not be in as good a position to do so for themselves,” stated Maura Campbell, a senior manager in the Northern Ireland Civil Service, and former board member of Specialisterne. “It allows you to challenge head-on the myths and misconceptions that abound about autism, partly due to its stereotypical portrayal in the media and popular culture. When people express surprise that I have Asperger’s (which is generally the case), I have an opening to correct some of the inaccurate impressions they may have about autism . . . ” But she is also a realist. “When I ‘came out’, I was asked a couple of times what treatment I was receiving. No matter how hard I tried to tell people that the diagnosis was a positive event, a confirmation of who I already was, they behaved as though I was conveying bad news. What I learned from this was that people do not always receive information in the same way as you present it to them. They often apply their own filters, overlaying what you have said with their own preconceptions and assumptions.” It is true disclosure during the hiring process or on the job can unintentionally lead to unfavorable consequences. Particularly, if a place of employment is not neurodiverse friendly or is not well educated in autistic culture, history, traits, and attributes. Whether or not to disclose is very much a personal choice. Alternatives to not disclosing autism at a place of work: State subtle needs Work to blend in Establish a support network outside of work Find a trusted coworker to help interpret unspoken rules and workplace culture Reevaluate disclosing at a later point Establish own accommodations Practice self-care on the job As a general rule, when weighing the pros and cons of job place disclosing, for either yourself or someone you know, keep in mind that the act of disclosing has the potential to lead to direct opportunities for employment success. When an employee discloses on the job: Employers have opportunity to consider workplace adjustments and supports (reasonable accommodations, peer mentors, the establishment of a disability resource group).Job candidate can ask for reasonable accommodation during the job screening process (list of topics that will be asked during interview, an interview over the phone, an overview of the hiring practice, an alternative to resume, a portfolio or video that showcases skills)Springboard for other possible work opportunities within the company (customized job description, creating a new job role, being a neurodiversity trainer or peer-support person)Opportunity to present past workplace supports and how the employee previously excelledWorking with a vocational counselor or other employment specialist to establish support measuresProtected under ADAPlatform to state needs and educate about disability or conditionTransparencyLead to policy change and open new doors for othersAvoid the possibility of an employer feeling mislead or misinformed Yes, there are multiple ways that the act of disclosing a diagnosis of autism or Asperger’s Syndrome can assist a job seeker or an employee. I would definitely recommend disclosing at work (on my good days). Even so, as previously mentioned, the idea is very subjective and dependent upon multiple variables, including the workplace culture, one’s ability to state workplace needs and to stick up for one’s self, the individual’s own understanding of autism, and whether or not there is a support person available. When in doubt about workplace disclosure, I suggest that those on the autism spectrum ask other autistics that have been in the same situation, research into the pros and cons, and make a personal decision that best fits the individual.

1 note · View note

femmingway-blog · 7 years

Text

Let’s Talk About Mental Illness

Why I am – and at the same time am not – talking about mental illness today.

Bell Let’s Talk has faded out of the rearview mirror, but I find myself thinking of it often recently because I feel I was not able to find a comfortable way to engage with it this year. Despite meaning well, there was no single conversation I witnessed - and I witnessed many - on January 25 that I felt reflected the intention or the spirit of efforts to promote wider discussions around mental illness.

I am taking this opportunity to talk about some mental illnesses I feel I rarely see written about on days like this, and I want to talk for a bit about why that is. I’m not going to go in-depth about my personal experiences, because unfortunately despite this day gaining in popularity, I still don’t feel that it is completely safe or responsible to hash out details of any kind of severe mental illness online. This is just the reality. Anxiety and depression are gaining big strides in being normalized and better understood, but as far as I have seen, the buck has for the most part stopped there and I am not comfortable risking my professional and personal life on a facebook status or blog post.

More about me: I am a (very) recent law school graduate completing my articles with a sole practitioner in a small New Brunswick city an hour away from my hometown. I grew up below the poverty line and learned all my survival skills from the single mother who raised my brother and I on a student loan while she pursued a higher education. I have an undergraduate degree in English, and have been living as an out bisexual woman for as long as I’ve been old enough to date. I also have chronic underlying health conditions including chronic migraines, endometriosis, hemochromatosis, and excessive sleepiness, which was recently identified as possible developing narcolepsy.

In short, I have a good deal of experience with hardship and mental illness. As someone active in my community and vocal about social issues, I have had to grapple with the temptation to share more intimate details of my life for the purpose of raising awareness or normalizing certain conversations. However I have had to accept the fact that I do not wish to make my personal experiences, traumas, and history a platform for public debate, argument, or discussion. It is important to me that I be honest with myself about what I am willing to put out into the world, and whether I wish my politics to be associated with my personal experiences without my consent. Until now, the answer to that question has been a resounding “no.” Because of this, in discussions around mental illness, mental health, and struggling with trauma, I will be selective about personal stories and anecdotes I share; the reality of the matter is that as a public advocate and a member of a number of communities, I want my personal life and experiences to continue to belong to me. I believe that people should have the right to decide which of their experiences are going to be politicized.

All that said, I will say that I have witnessed and experienced my fair share of mental health crises. Poverty, addiction, abuse, chronic illness, queerness, and femininity have all contributed to my life experience in one way or another, and it is a very unique person who travels through all this unscathed. I am very lucky in that I have had an incredibly supportive and loving family, and have consistently been surrounded by extraordinary friends and mentors. While I still struggle with genuine mental illnesses to this day, my coping skills continue to grow stronger, and I continue to become more capable of lending support to others in my life when it is needed. Unfortunately, social supports and structures are still sorely lacking, and I continue to find myself facing two major barriers: first, that most people still don’t seem to have a good grasp of what it means to live with a mental illness that is not general anxiety or depression - this means that as a society we still have difficulty compassionately understanding symptoms such as paranoia, magical thinking, delusional thoughts, compulsions, mania, and hallucinations. Second, in a crisis, I recognize that I am an individual who is ill-equipped to save someone; that is to say, that due to past experience and personal stress threshold, I have a very difficult time intervening when someone is discussing taking their own life or harming themselves severely. This is exacerbated by the fact that I have had (or had recounted to me) extremely negative experiences when accessing help from services meant to help in a crisis, such as hospitals, therapy, and the police. Both of these barriers come together to create an environment that is still incredibly unsafe for people experiencing mental health difficulties, especially when those very difficulties make it challenging to think and behave rationally, or to appear “likeable” and “non-threatening” to service providers.

What I’m Going to do About It

All this said, what I’m hoping will come of this post is an actual discussion - an open, frank, ongoing discussion sparked by what I hope are some helpful prompts, accompanied with my own opening answers. I would really love for the people who read this to actively engage and respond, and hopefully start an ongoing discussion regarding our experiences with the highs and lows of navigating mental illness and the support structures we have - and haven’t - had access to. I want to hear from you all, and I want to see you talking to each other, about the things that are missing. What are the gaps in care? What misunderstandings keep you from feeling safe to join the discussion? What has worked for you? What hidden gems might you know about that you can share with the rest of us?

I want to take this opportunity to actually open up a dialogue and discussion. Given that I’m posting this much later than I expected (though I did not go into this expecting to be writing a post of this length), I’m hoping that this dialogue will stretch into a few days, even weeks. I want the people in my life who read this to comment either on my facebook page, the status I (or others) share it to, send a message to my inbox here, tweet at me (@femmingway), send me a message – whatever you are comfortable with. I want to hear from you. I want to see you talking to each other about what is and isn’t working about the current exercise of “awareness” surrounding mental health. I have two basic prompts for you to get this started, under which I’ll list some questions to hopefully get the discussion going.

What is Wrong?

First: What is wrong?

What was missing for you?

What actual resources, supports, or services would have helped you or someone you know during a mental health crisis ?

What do you wish hadn’t been said/done to you?

What would have helped you to get better, or get functional, or at least cope more quickly?

What avoidable traumas are you comfortable sharing that you or your loved ones endured from inadequate or irresponsible mental health care?

What injuries to your mental health recovery have you found yourself unable to move past?

What keeps you afraid of sharing further stories, stories about different mental illnesses or particular incidents/hang-ups that you otherwise wish you could share with loved ones?

Whose responsibility are these issues?

What is Meaningful?

Second, I ask: What is meaningful?

What helped you the most when you were in your darkest or scariest times, mentally?

When you or your friend or family member were experiencing mania or thoughts of suicide, or were losing touch with reality, what best helped to anchor you and keep you here?

Was there a person or professional who did a particularly exemplary job at “getting” it?

Is there a resource you want others to know about that helped you during a dark time?

What campaigns and/or initiatives have made a difference to you personally?

Why were they effective?

What have you done to support others in a way that makes you both feel fulfilled and uplifted?

What can you share about the ease and joy that comes with finding another person who understands your struggle with mental illness?

How can we all learn from those experiences and bring goodness into our own personal and professional lives?

I’ll go first:

What is wrong:

I wish that adequate public knowledge about anxiety disorders was more accessible; there have been times when I, and people I know, genuinely believed we were ill or dying because we are taught the symptoms of a heart attack in school, but not the symptoms of a panic attack – we are not taught that a panic attack can feel like a heart attack, or that one does not always know that is what is happening to them.

I wish that I had access to emergency care services in my local hospital that I was comfortable accessing and referring others to, rather than being fearful and burdened with the knowledge that I will either be sent home with meds that could be used to overdose, or locked in a room without the dignity of clothing until a doctor sees fit to send me on my way.

I am disheartened that I have been raised to associate certain traits and symptoms with words like “obsessive-compulsive”, “psychosis/psychotic”, “depressed”, and “manic”, which are so far from the reality that it has actually hindered people from knowing how or when to access care. I am disgusted that mental illness is still an appropriate and legitimate legal excuse to remove someone’s children from them, or deny them certain kinds of government services and supposedly “inalienable” rights.

I wish that there were more knowledge available to people at a basic health level about the signs and symptoms of specific mental illnesses, so myself and my family would not have been forced to follow my growth through childhood and into my teens gravely concerned that there was something wrong with me. I’m dismayed to admit that I did not understand the words “panic disorder” or “panic attack” until I was living on my own in university, despite the fact that I now fully believe I had been experiencing them since early childhood. There is accessible information available about the best things to do for a person when they are experiencing a panic attack brought on by OCD or attachment anxiety or a phobia, however that information can only be accessed if the seeker has the vocabulary of mental illness at their disposal in the first place.

I have many personal experiences with mental illness that have affected me profoundly as a person, and I wish I could feel comfortable sharing those stories with people who I know will respect them and listen, such as the people I choose to allow access to my facebook posts. My personal goals, my desire to be respected, and my professional life all prevent me from being entirely open about those experiences. I feel that these are the responsibility of everyone in a position of power, to examine the biases and knee-jerk reactions they have to people they might otherwise label as frightening, selfish, immature, or untrustworthy, and to instead ask themselves “what can I do with whatever personal power I possess, to make life more welcoming and safe for people who are struggling?”

What is meaningful:

There have been times in my life where the people I depend on have made the difference between showing up or not; between hiding in a public washroom crying, or holding up my chin and faking it until I make it. I cannot stress enough the panacea that is the gaze of a person’s undivided attention when they genuinely ask you “how are you doing right now?” And “I’m here, what’s going on?”

Every year, I see more and more people in the circles I frequent sharing stories about the struggles they have faced with regards to mental illness and lack of structured support. Every year I see more people taking a step towards engaging in conversations deliberately trying to bring frank and open discussions of mental health into the realm of normalcy.

Since becoming a more informed patient, I have been able to take the information I was able to access through friends, through reading, and on the internet, to become a better advocate for myself and my own mental health. I have learned how to find ways to help myself rather than resorting as a first measure to relying on the free labour of close friends and family to sort through my own difficulties, flawed thought processes, and confusing emotions. I have learned to be picky about therapists, and to put myself and my own goals first when pursuing any kind of assistance for my mental health.

I have personally witnessed people in absolute hell who have been able to slowly recognize that what they are struggling with is very real and worthy of full attention. People who have been putting all of their energy into getting through the basic motions of living, slowly exerting that much more to open up and admit they need a hand. People who have been able to very slowly realize that admitting they are in a dark place does not mean they are somehow less worthy, less strong, or less capable or mature as people.

I find meaning and comfort in the knowledge that I have so many genuinely caring people in my life who consistently make a point to ask “how are you doing?” and really mean it. I find hope and encouragement in how many people I have known who are willing to fight for a world that is kinder, and softer. I am thankful that I know so many who know when to be hard and when to be soft; when to fight and when to listen.

Endnote

I intend to follow this post up soon with a set of ground-rules for this blog. For now, I am explicitly asking for positivity and support where they are due, and for those of us who have a tendency to notice gaps in information, to take responsibility for filling them – because if we don’t, who will?

I am working on making my social media pages shame-free spaces. That means that I am explicitly stating that this status is about ways to support the people in your communities and families who are living with mental illness, sharing your own experiences (or those of others with their consent), NOT about what anyone here personally isn’t doing or hasn’t done. If someone is contributing to a harmful dialogue, or supporting harmful causes, that’s one thing. If they are opening up their hearts to share something private with you, don’t derail the conversation to make it about your own politics.

#long post #mental illness

6 notes · View notes

maritzaerwin · 4 years

Text

20 Crippling Beliefs That Are Keeping You From Making a Successful Career Change

“Mastering others is strength, but mastering yourself is True Power”, says Lao Tzu.

Choosing or making a career is the most important and crucial process of life.

Make sure that whatever you choose, it makes you feel confident, wanting failure and success. Once you mess with the actions, you don’t want to regret it throughout your life.

Above all, your limiting beliefs that you cling to, or drop to embrace, could make you less resilient and affect your conclusions.

Wanting to fix your mindset, brushing with having a career guide would be the best advice.

Why Do Such Beliefs Gain Weight?

The answer is “Ask yourself first”.

The idea taught by the society, by peer groups, or by self-belief subconsciously limits your way of expansion, options, demotivating, and underrating your beautiful potential and uncountable possibilities.

The day you come out of your box, understanding what career beliefs don’t owe you, will be the day you’ll convert right beliefs into real purpose.

Also, Read – Tips for Shaping your Career

20 Crippling Beliefs That Block You from Making a Successful Career Change

Some of the paralyzing effects are listed below that talented people carry ideas about considering a new career. It just holds us back.

1) Your Long Working Job Is Your Only Identity

It is typically true that the longer you’re exposed to a certain line of work you’re familiar with, the more you tend to be an expert in that field. But it doesn’t mean that job is meant for you unless it aligns with your values or motivates you.

Reminder — Your job is an identity that you have made for yourself, an alignment if you consider it. Work is something that motivates you to do.

2) Considering Yourself Unworthy

The feeling that most people imposed, of not being able to enjoy the time you’ve invested in the work. That time if you have invested in other activities, you must have enjoyed more.

Resilient and sorted people are satisfied with their work because they’ve gained clarity over their careers. You should also understand what steps you must take to build your career in the right way

3) Comparison

With the experienced amount of time that one has invested with work, it would not only initiate you to build multiple skills but also open up opportunities to a promising work.

“Experience teaches you lessons to excellence”

4) A Feeling of Change

Some of these feelings maybe because of the following:

Financial level of needs or expectations —Changing that brings damage to their careers, not feeling enough to have self-confidence or to pursue further.

Wrapping with fear — that these changes would stop being in good terms and many more.

Over strategizing beforehand — Taking a risk with your plan is an absolute okay sometimes.

5) Inferiority Complex

Having thoughts like:

People will hire you only by judging your interests, skills, and character always.

You pressurized yourself by thinking that you’re not working well enough for the company, so you’re not valued. And you need to push the bars.

6) Assumptions

It’s amazing to witness the most experienced people still needing the want to find a perfect career for themselves.

With the exploration of an individual career, learning and acquiring new skills in each career only prepare you for the best future take ups.

So, believe in yourself taking up the rough-edged even if it doesn’t appear alright to you, a day will come for your triumph when you don’t give up learning or having curiosities.

7) A Job with A Good Salary Package Has No Problems

This is why choosing a career guide is important.

Every kind of job has a different perspective, and it may not be enjoyable with the job aspects.

For instance: Arthur is a rapper and dancer teacher as well, Arthur loves teaching students and breaking down into new concepts rap-culture and dance formations to get along better with the students. It’s an ideal job for Arthur.

However, in some unenjoyable parts, he might feel heavy such as arranging for events, taking tuitions, accounting, and some which fall under the job aspects. If he fails to do one of these aspects, he might lose his job.

So, learning to tackle the unenjoyable parts of the job will only help you load less and eventually, end up loving what you do.

8) Perfect Job Never Feels Like Work

Well, it’s appropriate that loving a job never feels like forcing to work for. But it’s precautionary to remind oneself that, there are days that test your patience and limits.

Some days will be beautiful, as opposed to those are some days that will limit your ethics and patience levels when handling a new member/client or a customer.

Every work has its own fat-profits, hurdles, and flaws. A job doesn’t always have to be fun.

Review, develop yourself on what makes you dreadful, or happy upon the impact of work you’re dealing with time.

When you feel satisfactorily happy with your job, that will be the day you found your ideal job.

9) Your Degree Values Stops You from Having a New Career

Loophole assumptions where everyone falls in the dungeon having this mindset.

How do you know when you never try?

A perfect example would be my friend. Her dream was to be a doctor and hold a degree in doctorate. During her college days, she managed to keep doing chemical research. After earning her degree, she followed for a different desired passion. Today, she’s happy and is one of the most successful manufacturers in producing chemicals and pretty beer.

Bottom line — She had no idea about her moves but it worked out perfectly. Her overall skills and interest combined her to develop a successful career for herself.

10) Only Corporate Jobs Give You a Good Source of Income

Thinkings like this have always put traction in the last decades and it is uncommon that people consider to question themselves; whether corporate forms of jobs are really a good way of summing up fat money, a key focus to take by everyone.

Never fall into such belief-traps. Every job implies diverse roles to bring your goals of financial independence to light.

Highlight your best skills and limits, where this uniqueness can fit into the corporate role.

11) Your Salary Should Increase

Yes, feeling rich feels nice. Gaining money in increasing order feels great.

But, clinging upon the concept that every time you work, keeping high salary expectations could block your work value least meaningful. Less income isn’t pleasant, but it only prepares you for the good times when switching careers.

12) Should Keep up With My Colleagues

The idea of staying in lock-step with your peer group should be killed. Compete with no one but with yourself. You are your own competitor.

Yes, there are times when your comrades get higher promotion or ranking, and you can’t resist. Let go of your peer pressure. The corporate roof has an abundance role to offer, only if you’re clear about your measurements racing with your peers unless it’s a healthy one.

Sowing that idea, you’ll be in the shallow treadmill of your own beliefs.

14) Rising Over Equals Failure

Nobody is a fan of going back, redoing the work from the beginning. Building from scratch feels inefficient, frustrating, depressing when you have invested a lot in that particular route.

Setting for a new career, a new set of working skills, comfortable, and being a novice again is the only key that will raise your foundation. Past experiences only add values.

15) A Must Concept of What to Become In Your 20s

Being in your 20s, getting equipped with all the plans along with your worries is normal. But, firstly get some basic education on what interests you, research on it, and spend your time if you feel like you need to know more.

Whatever opportunities open up, grab it. Each job will unfold a different recipe which you wouldn’t favor, but it’ll add a taste in your life later on.

16) Opting for a Change in a Career Means Failures in Other Careers

A false belief is better than no faith.

In life, different people have different points of view without reason. Sharp and productive persons are the ones who develop self-confidence, guts, take risks in life, tackle the hurdles, accepting the changes, and rejections. These are the people who continue to start an enthusiastic life with positivity, considering never to give up but work hard with patience.

They believe in making life happier and refuse to get trapped in careers that they don’t like at all.

These people believe in freedom of learning and expansion- “working smart and happy”.

17) Unworthy or Incautious People Change Jobs Constantly

Human beings often end in conclusion judging from the outside. A closed mind has unraveling stories to open.

A type of person who is still exploring the realms and reality to his purpose in life, trying to fit and align with his decision, doing something different such as changing careers is one.

The day he fits into the correct place, he’ll excel.

As explained earlier above, no matter the tiny or large job you take up, always consider it with appreciation, they have a lesson to cover you to the best platform.

18) The Thought That You Already Have Learnt Everything

This belief needs to be broken. The secret to success is self-taught and self-discipline in that very area, that’s what I and many others stand.

Today’s accessibility to the internet has made everything, even information just in a blink of steps.

You can also consider enrolling for online colleges, setting your own educational program, conducting self-analysis on data, art, music, and more of your career desires. A blend of either formal classes with self-study.

And, if you are procrastinating online college programs only because of the lack of funds, you must know that financial aid for online colleges is easily available these days for those that are struggling with finances.

Sky’s the limit when you ignite and master yourself for the uptake of careers.

19) Printing in Your Mind That Perfect Jobs Exist for You That Is Perfect for You

Do you try the idea of coming up with your dream job?

Your dream job might be contributing to society. The perfect kind of job can only be created if you envision to master yourself. The day you fit your job, is the day you’ll fill the void. The perfect job is the work that expands your strengths and weaknesses, that only leaps towards success.

20) Wanting to Access Something While Following Your Passion

One of the most difficult things in life is getting a good salary package yet remaining unhappy!

“If you see life as a learning experience, you’ll turn any negative into positive”. So why be afraid to keep falling and rising!

Find out, look inside yourself, what was it all about you wanting to do since very young and juvenile. Is your work an aim to help others in some ways?

A soldier always protects the country over their lives. A comedian’s desire to spread smiles on people’s faces by taking over entertainments.

Why? This is their purpose. Similarly, when you meet your purpose, it is the day you reason to journey. And, passion is the fire that will light your way.

From Victim to Victory

Your purpose is greater than your challenges or crippling concepts/theories. In life, one must learn to extract learning and put that knowledge to fuel up your purpose. Rule over your counteracting thoughts that grips the freedom of careers.

My beliefs held my boundaries with the actions I took. It limits you, empowers you, directing a decline door of opportunities.

Keep pushing, waking up to remind you that Today is the Day. The worst dies when the best begins. Best wishes!

The post 20 Crippling Beliefs That Are Keeping You From Making a Successful Career Change appeared first on CareerMetis.com.

20 Crippling Beliefs That Are Keeping You From Making a Successful Career Change published first on https://skillsireweb.tumblr.com/

0 notes