#it just feels victim-blaming to me

[revvethasmythh]

Some aspects of Laudna's behavior from the most recent ep have really started to stand out to me re: her backstory. We're told basically that after leaving Whitestone she roamed to different cities and was subsequently run out of many places by the townsfolk for being...well, a creepy undead witch. This is really all we know of thirty years of her life, we have nothing more detailed than that until Gelvaan, which is also not very detailed on what exactly she was doing there. And it's interesting because this backstory feels like it's meant to elicit a lot of sympathy on Laudna's behalf--i.e. she is being wrongly chased out of places for the crime of being/looking different. But something about the way she approached Imahara Joe's establishment--sending in the creepy whispers, specifically making a bunch of terrifying "rattling noises", and responding with a smile and saying "It works every time" when they heard a noise in response--really has me like. okay. Laudna, did you get chased out of places because you were terrorizing people in those places? because it sounds like you've done this before, potentially many times, and what's "fun scary" to one person can so very easily be "scary scary" to the people on the other end of the schtick.

Laudna clearly loves people, but I do have to wonder if she experiences a certain amount of dissonance about the effects that her actions cause. She very much has this Manic Demon Nightmare Girl persona thing going on, and that delighted, manic energy mixed with her penchant for the macabre, often directed at other people where she enjoys their freaked out reactions? I think, perhaps, there were reasons she kept getting run out of places that we have not, uh, unpacked as of yet.

To go deeper with this, Laudna is a character who rarely feels like she's in charge of her own destiny. Some of this is intentional, like the repeated puppet imagery re: Delilah. But I wonder if, perhaps, Laudna is someone who has had so many things--bad things, terrible things--happen to her that she had learned to erase her own role in her life. There was nothing she could do when the Briarwoods took over Whitestone, there was nothing she could do when she was murdered by Delilah, and there was nothing she could do when she was resurrected as the undead creachure that she is today. But there are thing she could have done in the intervening thirty years to change her situation. She could have pursued threads about getting rid of Delilah for thirty years, long before meeting Imogen. She could have (somewhat) altered her behavior so she wasn't freaking people out wherever she went and maybe she could have stayed somewhere. She could have been proactive in making changes and pursuing things in her life and I just wonder if she has forgotten that she can do that for herself and that the things she does do have consequences. In ep 49, she told Imogen, "The gods have never kept us from our ability to have a choice." But she only says this to Imogen. When does Laudna finally make an active choice? When does she realized that her behavior and the consequences of the behavior are in her control? When does Laudna decide that it's time to stop being a spectator in her own story, a person that things happen to? Soon, I hope. She should be the main character of her own story, and right now she simply isn't

#I feel like I'm going to get cancelled for victim blaming but also #being scary toward people and then people not liking that feels like an excellent example of cause and effect #and tbh #even laudna's relationship with imogen feels like something that has happened TO her #what does laudna want? what are her desires? I feel like if you asked she'd respond with ''whatever imogen wants'' #which just. makes me kind of sad. I hope laudna figures out how to be a person with desires and a future that are HERS unequivocally #that can (and probably will!) include imogen. but a simple cottage raising horses is Imogen's dream #what does laudna dream of? freedom? what does that look like? does she even know? #like I said. it's SAD #cr spoilers #this is rebloggable but I'm not maintagging this

[covertblizzard]

Maybe I'm being sensitive but this whole scene just frustrates and annoys me because like

comparing Steph and Tim so callously with comments that he's "better" and a "quick learner" after her death

having Cass lowkey victim blame Steph for her own death "But she chose--" and "She messed up." plus trying to convince Tim that it's not Steph's fault

the "Maybe it's time I gave you a lesson" like I don't really have a good reason for this one it might just be a personal thing but the tone of that whole sentence makes me feel frustrated and talked down to

#mypost #dc thoughts #cassandra cain #tim drake #stephanie brown #batgirl #robin #spoiler #making use of characters to prop up the narrative #i don't know enough about cass' character and maybe you can say it's in character for her to do it i don't know #but like it's not the point though they didnt really explore her feelings for it as much as using it to make a statement #that tim is sooo much better and smarter than steph and that maybe she died because of herself like UGH #at least that's how it feels like to me #this is a joke but maybe this is tim's karma for victim blaming jason lol getting to hear all the arguments from the other side #ummm do i need to tag this with anti? #i'm not really hating on any of the characters here it's just the narrative that's annoying me and this very much reads as

[uncanny-tranny]

Don't be afraid of being the trans person who's "the reason transphobia exists." It's genuinely so infuriating how people weaponize the existence transphobia to accuse people (even facetiously/as a joke!) of being the genesis of it.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #transphobia #transphobia tw #like. i am not One of The Good Ones. transphobes would hate me even if i were #because they don't hate people who happen to be trans. they hate trans PEOPLE #they hate when we are seen as people. they hate having to incorporate us into their worldview at ALL #THAT is what transphobia is. like some people seem to think it's just... a small little annoyance at people who happen to be trans... #...and sure transphobia can look like that. but that isn't the whole of it and pretending it is is - at this point - victim-blaming us... #...because it's putting the onus on US to prove ourselves worthy of being seen as PEOPLE #if my existance is the reason transphobia exists... man you must think i'm a piwerful warlock. should i feel honoured or is that bad (/s)

[nothinggold13]

I said in the tags of my recent screencaps of Nick and Daisy dancing, "do you ever think. that all daisy really needed was a friend?" and apparently those tags resonated with more people than I thought they would. Now I think they call for a little elaboration.

On their first meeting in the book, it is established that Nick neither attended Daisy's wedding nor met her baby (who is 3 years old). Daisy says herself, "We don't know each other very well, Nick. Even if we are cousins." And yet in this same scene Daisy says that his arrival has her "paralyzed with happiness" and refers to him as "an absolute rose." She speaks of him and to him as if they are dearly close despite her own admittance that they hardly know each other at all. (Of course, this is easily explained when Nick says, "[She looked] up into my face, promising that there was no one in the world she so much wanted to see. That was a way she had." Daisy has a way of drawing people in, and making them feel important. I'm sure people make different things of this, some positive and some negative, but I won't dwell on it.)

But, perhaps more telling than the way she talks to Nick, is the fact that the first thing Daisy does when she has a moment alone with him is to confide in him. She says, "We don't know each other very well," and then, moments later, begins a story asking, "Would you like to hear?" She says she's grown cynical. She says she felt abandoned. She says — famously — "That's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool."

And then she laughs it off.

Nick himself calls it insincere, "[...]as though the whole evening had been a trick of some sort to exact a contributory emotion from me."

But... I don't know. I've been a Daisy defender since high school, and that's never gone away; Nick's perspective may communicate a lot of truth that we wouldn't know otherwise, but he is not infallible. And, personally, when it comes to the depths of what's going on with Daisy, I think he's rather blind.

Daisy has a philandering husband who a) physically abuses his mistress and b) canonically bruised Daisy in a way she brushes off carelessly but confesses, again, within her first meeting with Nick, so I don't believe it's a big jump to say he's likely been physically abusive towards her, too. And with that in mind, I think it's strange to expect anything Daisy does to be perfectly and infallibly sincere, when, at her core, she is always in a fight for survival.

(It's the same reason I believe she stays with Tom at the end, and lets Gatsby take the blame. Tom is the only security she knows. Gatsby hangs in the balance. She can't run away with him, now.)

So, to get back to my point, I don't think Daisy was being dishonest in her confessions to Nick. I think she was being painfully honest— so painful, in fact, that she had to cover it up with that cynical mask she's gotten so good at wearing. Daisy is not a beautiful little fool; she only wishes she was.

And then Nick appears, and they're not close, but they could be, and she jumps to trust him: to tell him everything she's scared to say aloud: to have him listen. "Would you like to hear?" she asks. It's more than a question. It's a plea.

I think of Daisy knowing her driver's name, and thinking it important to use it. I think of Daisy knowing Jordan's name when they were younger, when Jordan was two years her junior and admired her desperately. I think of Daisy calling Nick "my dearest one" along with every other kind word she ever said to him. I think of Daisy reaching and reaching and reaching, clinging desperately to anyone who might hold on to her.

And they all let her down.

I guess those who see Daisy as disingenuous at her core wouldn't read it this way at all, but I do. I think Daisy loves desperately, trying to fill a hole that is never filled; I think she's looking for someone to save her, and nobody ever cares enough to listen.

Not Jordan. Not Nick. Not even Gatsby, despite his obsession.

And maybe none of them could have saved her, but they could have listened. They could have cared. They could have asked her about the letter that made her nearly call off her wedding to Tom, instead of dressing her up and pushing her to go through with it. They could've supported her, and not gone out to party with her cheating husband and his mistress. They could've stopped asking for too much and accepted the fact she couldn't give it. They could've done something.

Because all Daisy really needed was a friend. And she never truly had one.

#thanks a lot folks now I'm back in my Daisy feels #the great gatsby #daisy buchanan #nick carraway #jordan baker #jay gatsby #tom buchanan #I just think that Daisy and Nick's friendship could've been something #that he could've offered her something #she never could've gotten from Tom or Gatsby #and my heart hurts about it #shoutout to the girl in my english class who accused me of rooting for the villains because I felt for daisy #tom literally exists but yeah let's blame the victim

[last-in-line-for-hell]

Sometimes I think about the long term side effects that could have happened to Wei Wuxian after being strangled by Jiang Cheng and my heart aches at how he just laid there and accepted it

#mdzs textpost not art #strangulation mention / #like...memory loss...combativeness... #those are both notable ones #considering how near immediately after he gives up his core and undergoes unimaginable hell in burial mounds..... #yeah honestly can’t blame him for not being himself immediately after escaping #but yeah I feel like that strangulation scene is kinda passed over by everyone #like I agree I feel bad for JC for having lost everything here #but we gotta agree that strangling wwx was uh really not okay at all #the fact wwx just lays there and takes it kills me too #anyway I’m still gone from here this is just another thought that wouldn’t leave my head haha #*puts this thought in the pile of ‘WWX’s traumas that no one takes seriously including himself’ #also to be blunt lotus pier’s takeover was not WWX’s fault and if you think it is I genuinely don’t understand how you came to that #esp bc wwx lost just as much here guys #the day people stop victim blaming wwx in this fandom....

[ickypuppi3]

you know how they were arguing and neil did the whole “where were you last night” routine with billy’s mom

ever wonder how many evenings/nights billy was actually left alone with neil before she left?

#billy hargrove #neil hargrove #billy’s mom #again #i’m not putting all the blame on her #her and billy both victims #but #yk #i gotta ask questions #i just feel like there’s a romanticised version of her in billy’s head #you know how you remember the good parts of someone #and don’t question anything because you love them etc etc #it just makes me wonder what the reality really was for him as a kid #can’t imagine neil being the most attentive parent #something something billy’s mom always coming back until she didn’t

[baltears]

its truly not that i have a problem with ppl continuing to engage with a persons work after theyve been called out for being problematic or whatever but the way m//lanie m//rtinez stans literally just convinced themselves all the allegations were false, called the alleged victim a liar and then proceeded to pretend it all never even happened is frankly chilling to me

#like i think her music sounds good!!!! but i just cannot fw her stans ever bc you truly just never know #do they know shes an alleged abuser and just make the personal decision to continue engaging (fine) or are they one of those people. #i make this post like annually lol im sorry. it just continues to really creep me out that people just don't talk about it #and when they do it's just the party line. no actual interest in the truth #like. sorry i think irl abusers should be accountable and not just get away with things bc they're cute girls w a cool aesthetic&good art #her fanbase at large just feels so ghoulish to me like there was almost nobody pushing back on this insane conspiratorial victim blaming... #the total lack of any level of concern or even basic respect for survivors in a lot of these people was very transparent #anti melanie martinez #cw assault

[oscill4te]

Why does it simutaneously feel so good and bad to avoid family

#im gonna seek help processing it i think cuz i wanna get over it. its dumb beans #i wanna feel comfortable around my parents its all in the past anyways yknow #i dont like blaming myself for the discomfort i feel inside though. #but at the same time i know so many ppl who been thru worse and they still r in contact with their parents #like why is my sister able to do it (visit my father) but not me. for example #then again it probably is hard for her but she still visits my family #i always feel like. i ruin everything even just being there. so it makes me not wanna go yknow #i cant get over my discomfort and still unhealed af and it ruins the whole vibe #i seriously just want to get over it. i hate that i need to dissociate to be around them #i need to “become someone else” to be around them #i hatethis stupid victim complex shit i have. i literallyyyyy want to get tf over it. its cringe

[theokusgallery]

#if you had any hope nick could ever be redeemable here's your sign that that's just not gonna happen

Bold of you to assume we don't want to make him worse

LMAO that's the spirit

#ask #anon #arsenic #me too anon. me too #my unethical boy... #he hasn't killed anyone or anything in the storyline i have planned out which is a fucking miracle #...in all fairness it's just because i want him to have as much plausable deniability as possible #and yknow. murder makes him undeniably a. murderer #anything he does to sunny is something sunny technically agreed to. i want to keep that a theme #i don't know how to say this in a way that isn't horrible but- #i want people to be able to victim blame sunny in a way that sounds so reasonable they don't realize it's victim blaming. #toying with the idea that sunny is not /at all/ a perfect victim. i like it when you can question the morality of his actions #(instead of having it clear-cut that Nick Is Bad And Sunny Is The Poor Unwilling Victim™) #the perfect victim doesn't exist and i'm kind of tired of seeing that type of abusive relationship be so... black-and-white #most of what i've seen is so over the top and neatly separated into good and bad boxes it doesn't feel real. #in the real world no one's perfect. sunny sure as hell isn't. but while that would make him toxic to anyone who isn't Nick- #-it doesn't mean he's not a victim #(also we all know what happens to domestic abuse victims when they have a cluster b pd. the fuckin. victime-blaming festivals i've seen) #tw victim blaming #i talk so much in tags i have to add trigger warnings about them. i should really stop rambling #rant

[dykeaegir]

siiiiiigh the chuggaaconroy situation really sucks :(

#like i don’t think he’s the scum of the earth or anything but you can’t deny how creepy he’d been acting #and no being autistic is not an excuse for consistently making your female friends uncomfortable #and continuing to act weird even after apologizing #i feel bad for everybody he’s hurt. especially lady emily who’s had to deal with a Lot of victim blaming #masae coming out with her own experiences too makes it sting even more #and i do think emily could have been more solid with her boundaries but i also don’t blame her for feeling weirded out. i would too tbh #man. #i wonder what colo’s gonna look like this year #honestly i haven’t watched chugga in a Long time cuz i’ve just. kinda grown out of his content style #also it legitimately surprised me when he started openly swearing in stuff lol #like who is this #but he still held a dear place in my heart and it feels a little bit off now #hrm. #bear.txt #bear.vent

[rottenlittlefink]

It may hurt for a while, but journaling and shadow work is one of the most effective ways to detach from and stop fearing the old story and to stop seeing yourself as a victim of your own life

#neville goddard #law of assumption #manifestation #reality shifting #self concept #bleats #I didn’t realize I had been doing shadow work since getting into manifestation tbh! #it’s been rough at first but I feel so free since I started confronting my deepest darkest fears #and I stopped letting other ppl’s fears and insecurities be my inner voice #i feel amazing #I promise it’s so worth it #ngl it’s still hard sometimes but I’m so fucking Determined #this isn’t me saying that trauma and awful things happening to you is your fault fuck that victim blaming bullshit #sometimes awful things just happen

[defectzim]

TaTr is real and good. <- have a whole story in its head that would NOT fucking happen in canon.

#show doesnt give us anything my brain fills in the gaps #itd I GUESS be an AU but in my heart and mind its real jus lemme have this #Tenn gets re encoded as a service drone after the incident with the SIR units. tallests would rather put the blame on her than admit fault. #They get sent to moo ping 10 not as a prisoner just to work there (i go back on forth on what her specific job is. BUT its low profile.) #something like a custodian. tenn takes it as best she can but she DOES have a bit of that dramatic i want to get revenge feels. #like they've just lost their mission through no fault of her own. its a difficult time for her as she starts to kinda...question things. #like the way the world (or the only one she knows) works around her. but she also knows there isnt much they can do yk. #eventually she meets Tak there. who IS there as a prisoner. #i think theyd bond over the way theyre both victims of circumstance. and how they couldnt do anything to get where they were when meeting. #but hey. maybe being at your own rock bottom isnt too bad if someone's on the same level. #one thing leads to another they start their own “resistance” BUT really it is just them chilling in space. #theres lots of gaps BUT. but....shhh lemme have this i know its corny and would NOT fucking happen but they make me giggle happy smile. #ZIM SPEAKS #oh also mimi is included too. mimi is their emotional support kitty. #kitty mimi is forever i luv her FOREVER. #also i use they/she for tenn jst so theres no confusion ^_^!

[lazitoelgato]

Catra antis go fuck yourself and stay away from me. I don't vibe with blaming the victim. Seriously fuck off.

#tw shera #man it makes me so personally angry when people BLAME THE VICTIM #You have no idea how an abused person can behave #Mental health matters until someone shows clears sings od mental illness and then you guys will call her horrible things #it's unbelievable how many people hate her #Like did we watched the same show??????? #I don't really relate to catra on s “kin” level but I do relate to her in other ways and this just makes me so angry #feels like a personal attack #so yeah stay like 1km away from me thanks #tw she ra #Tw she-ra

[revvnant]

stewing over how mike wants william to hug him so bad but never asks because why would you, as a man, hug another man ( yes even your family ) and also because he keeps a tally of every time william said no and holds it against him and has made it such a huge thing in his own mind that if william did hug him he'd flinch and what i'm really getting at here is that michael can get to a point where he's so entrenched in a build up of small slights between big fights that he shoots himself in the foot and denies himself comfort, creating a cycle where he constantly craves william's affection but also refuses it every time it is offered, which makes william upset, which makes him offer it less, which convinces mike that his father doesn't love him, which makes him withdraw and refuse affection, which

#oh boy six a.m.! ( ooc ) #|| I'M NOT WORDING THIS WELL I DONT FEEL WELL. #|| but outside of like Just Abuse they are complicated to me in that. #|| ugh it's hard to talk about. #|| because i don't want it to come across as victim blaming. #|| but the reality of familial abuse is that sometimes. like. the environment is so unhealthy #|| that you start fucking yourself over bc you expect it to always be bad. #|| and like that's not to say that if only victims gave their abusers the benefit of the doubt things would get better. #|| but rather that resentment can build up and create such a powder keg that like #|| otherwise normal interactions suddenly become fodder for future fights. #|| I HAVE FORGOTTEN HOW TO WRITE. THIS ISNT AS COHERENT AS I WANT. DO YOU GET ME? #|| basically not every one of william's impulses is evil. #|| he can want to hug his son and be nice to his son and it can come from a place of love (from his pov). #|| but they're so FUCKED and it's been going on for so LONG #|| that even when William is being genuine mike is like ALARM. ALARM. ALARM. #|| WHICH UPSETS WILLIAM.

[bylertruther]

when will said it was "strange knowing who it was this whole time" and "he's hurt, he's hurting, but he's still alive" was he not talking about henry? am i insane? did i misinterpret that scene? why are we acting like will is connected to anyone other than henry bro what is Happening 😭

that was henry that shaped the mind flayer into that spider-like form and it was henry that used it to possess will and it was henry's thoughts that will was experiencing against his will and it's henry that he's still feeling because the connection/"vecna's curse" hasn't been broken. they physically extracted the mind flayer from will's body, yes, but his connection to henry was never broken. henry can't exercise complete and total control over people without the mind flayer's power, which is why will has free will over his body but his mind remains connected to henry.

the characters, and by extension the viewers, thought it was the mind flayer behind everything, because they didn't know what season four revealed to us.

henry wanted to control will's mind and body—a complete and entire violation of everything will is. that was Not the mind flayer, and they tell us that more than once. with all love and respect what are some of you on about because you're starting to make me feel like my memory is genuinely broken or something lmao like i thought.... the big reveal was that it's always been henry? they literally say that? eleven, henry, and will all confirm it? the mind flayer was not a separate entity acting alone... thus will has beef with henry most of all because henry's violation of his mind and body is still ongoing... Where Are You Guys Getting Your Information From 😭 hELP

will's rape—because that's what possession is, he never consented to having his mind and body controlled by anyone else—is an important part of stranger things; both to the general plot and will's character. to say that will only has beef with the mind flayer and not henry is reducing what henry did to him and reassigning blame that very much falls on henry's shoulders. henry was controlling the mind flayer and henry is the one still in will's mind. henry used the mind flayer to have control over will. henry and will are connected. the show literally tells us that over and over again. when you decide to needlessly reassign blame, not only are you misunderstanding and misconstruing the plot, but you're also... not understanding what happened to will at all. like, what really happened to him and how that's used in the show.

henry very likely was the one that kidnapped will. henry is the one that will has a psychic connection to. henry is the one that raped will / possessed him if you prefer that term instead and used the mind flayer to do it. henry is the one that will still knows like the back of his hand, because henry is the one that's still in his head. it's not the mind flayer. it's henry. please stop saying that will doesn't have more than enough reason to want to kill his ass. please!!!

#rape tw #rape mention #triggering myself on main like a fucking dumbass but the worms in my brain are holding on to this one n gnawing at it #am i insane am i genuinely having memory problems am i the weird one #eleven and will can both kill his ass but don't act like henry isn't the one that ruined his life i'm— #i feel very strongly abt this bc i just feel like you Can't reassign blame in rape cases u have to see it for what it is #they're literally fake but. please don't try to absolve bad people like that #they're characters not people i know but. please don't do that lol. henry is a bad guy for many reasons and eleven and will BOTH have #reasons to merc his ass. we can say that it's okay we're not taking anything away from eleven by acknowledging the plot and the #actions that the characters have made like i promise u no one is forgetting eleven who is literally the biggest character on the show #it doesn't matter but also it Does matter to me bc we don't always see rape victims on tv shows or movies that are treated like will #and it just makes me sad when like. stuff that happens in real life (abusers getting off scot free) happens in fiction. bc its like ok cool #not even in the fictional world can there be justice huh lmao cool cool cool very cool and awesome and great love it #actually no im gonna say it bro yes henry tried to kill eleven twice but like. he literally raped will. so yeah i think will deserves the #final blow bro idc. idc idc idc will has to live with that for the rest of his life he has to remember what it felt like and what all he #did under henry's control like. he deserves it. let him maul his ass let him fireball him to the pits of hell idc idc everyone else go home

[teethbomb]

alador blight fan mood board

#Im trying so hard not to engage I feel like a bomb #I know his arc was handled badly but the shortening of the owl house should be the give away #And I personally think that the boards weren’t only cut for time!! #People are really mad he was redeemed at all but I think we forget that this guy was intended to portray a victim of abuse #Abuse shouldn’t have to be physical for it mean something #No I am not excusing what he did what he did was shitty but what I am saying is I don’t think he knew that #He thought what he was doing was in the kids best interest and when amity confronted him his eyes opened #I’ve seen people call him spineless and “woobified” and that is lost on me entirely #He stood up to Odalia and broke everything when he found out about her goals #He still has his temper he’s just not lashing out on his kids #Claims of him being turned soft don’t make sense to me because he’s been chasing butterflies the whole time! He was under Odalia s thumb #Until he learned it was hurting his kids and he stood up. #His arc isn’t perfect it’s far from it but the guy was in an abusive relationship for most of his life #I Can see the disconnect some are having but I think we’re really focusing too hard on some cut scenes #I Can see people getting upset with him especially those who relate to amity but I think it’s ironically pushing blame #Not everything can be pinned on Odalia but I think we should let abuse victims grow no matter their age #I guess it just makes me sad to see a character I see so much of myself in being dragged like this lol #Alador blight