#it just feels like a natural progression of the story

[trans-cuchulainn]

(it is worth reiterating that all of my posts about asexuality and fiction and so on are from the point of view of an aroace person who used to be extremely sex repulsed, and then just extremely disinterested for quite a big chunk of my adult life so far, and spent a lot of time desperate for stories that offered me a glimpse of a life that was whole without needing romance and/or sex to be part of it. that i have more recently become interested in sex in the abstract while still not experiencing attraction does not negate the years i spent not feeling that and does not make them any less valuable or important as part of my experiences as a human being, and as an adult who deserves to feel whole)

(i feel this extremely strongly because people sometimes act like my current feelings mean i "grew out of" my old ones, but this is not a maturity thing or a progression, it's change due to my personal circumstances and experiences and nature. and it could easily go back the other way in future, who knows. in the meantime, 22 year old me deserved to have stories that gave me hope for a reality i could build for myself. hell, 28 year old me deserves them, because whatever my future looks like, it still isn't going to follow an amato-/allonormative model and i don't see enough ways of living to help me imagine an adult life beyond those patterns. i demand better for the sake of past me and present me and for everybody for whom that is their present and/or their future, however old they are)

(anyway sex-repulsed asexual people deserve better than the same stories with pieces taken out because they deserve better than to be treated like people with something missing)

[snugglyducklingbrewhouse]

we play with fire because we like the way it burns

a mob boss!Nico x nurse!fem!reader au

Masterlist

things to know before you read

Y/n loves helping people and decided to go to nursing school in Michigan

There, she met Luke Hughes, business student, because they were in the same orientation group

There was no attraction. It was more a mutual feeling of “I am surrounded by shallow idiots and you seem to have substance”

So they became best friends despite their clashing majors and schedules

It got to the point where Ellen included items for y/n in her care packages to Luke and even special care packages just for y/n

Everyone thought they would get together, but they saw each other as siblings

“Ew, gross, he’s basically my brother”

They started movie nights because y/n wasn’t a party person and barely had time with her workload

It generally occurred at her place because she chose to always live alone. Roommates were not her style, and Luke had too many to have a peaceful movie night at his

Once y/n got accepted to nursing schools, before she even decided to go to umich for sure, she knew that she wanted to apply to hospitals and clinics all over the states to keep her options open and see where the universe takes her

Once she becomes besties with Luke and as school progressed, she realized she wanted to be relatively close to him because she couldn’t picture her life without him being her annoying best friend nearby

Jersey was already a state she was considering, but knowing Luke wanted to join his brother Jack after college pushed her a little further in that direction

After graduation, Luke moved in with Jack with the hope of joining the same mob his brother is in, while y/n found a place on her own not too far from the hospital she would be working at

Y/n knew about the mob from Luke and the stories he could share from Jack

But she didn’t think it would affect her life as much as it did once she started living in Jersey

The amount of questionable injuries she saw as an ER and trauma nurse were enough for the police to take her statement at least once a week

She carries a pocketknife and pepper spray on her, per Luke’s insistence

She has to remember to leave them behind each time she goes to a place with bag check and/or metal detectors

And she would generally be with Luke in those situations to make sure she wasn’t alone

Luke naturally has a spare key to her place, especially since there is no doorman in y/n’s building

He even made sure she got into the habit of checking her peephole each time there was a knock on her door

Y/n knows Jack from him chauffeuring his brother from time to time and other meetups

She hasn’t officially met Nico but she knows who he is, as does the rest of the city and greater area

Nico knows of y/n through Luke because he makes sure that he knows his brothers and any potential weaknesses that could be used against them

But he’s never actually met her because Luke does his best to make sure she’s not dragged into the life

The nhl exists, but the players used as mobsters are not in the league

Mob “families” are not traditional in this universe because they are based on hockey teams than actual families

The main mobs in this universe are the devils and the rangers

The teams replacing them in this universe are the New Jersey angels and the New York Americans

Most of my knowledge of mobs comes from tv, so this is not accurate or realistic by any means

#m writes #mob boss Nico au #nico hischier x reader #eventually

[starnightlover]

i fidget like crazy and without it i literally cant fall asleep so can u recommend some sleeping method where u don't have to stay still :)

and have a good day!<33

Awww thank you lovely! You as well!

Don't worry, there are still plenty of shifting methods you can try that accommodate your need to move, as I as well fidget! So I understand your struggle. Here are a few suggestions:

Dynamic Visualization: Instead of lying still, try incorporating movement into your visualization practice. You can imagine yourself walking, running, or engaging in any activity you find calming and enjoyable in your DR. As you visualize, allow your body to move naturally, syncing your movements with the scenes playing out in your mind.

Guided Meditation with Gentle Movement: Look for guided meditation sessions particularly designed for those who struggle with restlessness. Some guided meditations encourage gentle movement, such as swaying, stretching, or even dancing, to help release tension and promote relaxation.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation with Movement: Instead of focusing solely on relaxation techniques that require stillness, try combining progressive muscle relaxation with movement. Tense and release different muscle groups in your body as you fidget, allowing the physical movement to complement the relaxation process.

Active Imagination Techniques: Engage your imagination actively while allowing for movement. You can create a narrative or story in your mind about your DR while incorporating movements that feel comfortable and soothing to you.

Remember, the key is to just find what works for you! And remember you don't need any methods to shift! They're just tools for you 🖤

#anonymous asks #reality shifting #shifting #shifting reality #shift #shifting blog #shifting consciousness #shiftblr #shifting antis dni #anti shifters dni #shifting realities #shifting community

[moonyinpisces]

Hi! I finally read HDWTOTL after seeing the cover art submissions on my dash for days. I won’t be emotionally the same ever again. Thank you, genuinely. But anyway, I was wondering if I could get some general writing advice?

I haven’t ever finished a story, and my problem is this: I can’t propel it forward. I have ideas for the beginning or middle of a story, but they’re just vague, disconnected scenes or emotions. I can never bring it to an end. And I can’t seem to bring people from location to location in a way that doesn’t feel very awkward.

Sometimes I look back at the writing I’ve done in a day and I realize it’s nearly all dialogue. Is this just my sign to be a screenwriter?

Or is there another angle to telling a story I’m not seeing?

How does one go from being a shit storyteller to a good one?

Thank you❤️

oh my gosh, thank you for reading hdwtotl and reaching out!! and yes, i can absolutely help you out, i'll throw my thoughts + advice down under the cut <3

i've always struggled with exactly what you're describing until relatively recently. i could get the barebone structure of a story down (beginning, end, vague plot points, dialogue-only scenes, etc.) luckily you mentioned you have disconnected emotions as one of the building blocks, which is, imo the most important thing you can have as a writer.

all that writing is is having an emotion and using all the tools in your arsenal to make someone else experience that same emotion.

that's all it is. what you're describing re: pacing and progression are all valid concerns, but i think you should remove that from the equation for now and just focus on what certain plot ideas make you feel, and how to evoke that feeling in others. personally, i struggle with properly explaining myself UNLESS i'm writing fiction. like, i can't tell you what i'm feeling, but i can make you feel the same way, and in the end we're now on the same wavelength. i don't think that's THE way to write, but it's the way i approach it and i couldn't do it any other way.

as to how to grow/push past what you're specifically struggling with: i think what helped me the most to develop myself as a writer is write the world around you. if you saw a sunset over farm hills in late october, how would you describe that to depict the feeling it evoked in you? the chilliness, perhaps spookiness, the beauty WITH the context that it's ushering in darkness, the dying plants, the cows huddling for warmth, the sound of a passing train. both the material and the immaterial work together in tandem in fiction -- what does the narrator sense from both? do that until it becomes second nature; if i see something incredible irl, you best believe my mental typewriter is going nuts. (the bentley scene in chapter 11 of hdwtotl had existed in my brain for MONTHS sentence-by-sentence WITH paragraph breaks before i finally got it down lol)

so if i were you, that's what i'd work on first before trying to bring it bigger picture with a beginning-middle-end as i think your pacing will naturally develop from it as well. what do you see, how do you feel, and how can the reader come away with both of those things without having been where you are themselves. also single scene oneshots to get in some practice translating that to fictional spaces.

good luck, i hope you break past this!! we need more storytellers out there

#moony.advice #ask box

[throwthisawayplease]

i firmly believe that if hannibal was made in a post ofmd society will and hannibal would’ve been riding each other bare back on prime time tv…

#2016 wasn’t ready for the truth #hannigram #hannibal #hannibal lecter #will graham #our flag means death #ofmd #after ofmd came interview with the vampire and good omens #my friend and i are watching hannibal s3 right now and are genuinely confused why they don’t kiss in the end #it just feels like a natural progression of the story

[kareenvorbarra]

upset about arnheid vinlandsaga again today so i reread some of her scenes and i'm still marveling at how well her storyline was executed. i have literally no complaints about how the author handles her situation; even her death doesn't feel like she was done wrong by the narrative (though i would be more invested if she was still alive). she has real interiority and complex motivations and she's written with such delicasy and sympathy that you can tell that the author understands her. basically every other character in this arc can be judged by how they treat arnheid - thorfinn and einar's ride-or-die solidarity for a fellow slave who has treated them both with kindness, snake clearly seeing her as a person despite his respect for the status quo and anger over the deaths of his men, the petty cruelty of ketil's wife (which could never escalate to the level of what ketil is capable of), ketil treating her relatively well as long as she dedicates herself entirely to his pleasure and then beating her to death in a rage when she tries to escape with another man

lots of characters judge her harshly for her actions (to ketil's wife she's ungrateful, to snake's men she's spoiled and selfish, to ketil she's a traitor) but the protagonists never do. thorfinn respects her resilience and pragmatism in the face of suffering, understands on some level the violence she's endured. einar values her friendship, he asks her what she wants and does everything he can to help her with whatever she chooses to do. they refuse to leave her behind in a war zone when she might be dying. they steal her from a man who will surely hurt her again if she lives. she's an ordinary woman, suffering a very brutal but mundane kind of violence, and for a little while she's the most important character in this story.

#also the extent to which she feels like a character designed for me to love is almost absurd #every step of her story just works. it all feels like the natural progression of events even as things spiral out of control #obsessed with einar's attitude towards gardar turning on a dime depending on what arnheid wants #at first he's like 'we gotta help her husband rescue her!' #but as soon as she tells him she wants to stay because it will be safer he worries that gardar will take her anyway #and when she decides to hide gardar he asks her if she's sure and when she says yes he's all in #i really do intend to keep reading but i feel like what comes next cannot possibly top this arc in appealing to me personally #vinland saga #arnheid

[obsessivefangirl]

"Stan favors Mabel and Ford Dipper" WRONG!!!

#We see them interact less due to their personalities. #Mabel is attracted to Stan much quicker #due to her nature of getting on other's good sides and wanting to be friends #as well as outgoing. #While Dipper was still unsure about his feelings of this for all intents and purposes stranger #Mabel would have squeezed her way into his life already. Dipper is not good with people #and insecure #so he takes Stan's jabs seriously just like he does with Mabel. Mabel and Stan have a love language #that include a few insults that have no real feelings in it. #He wouldn't catch on and participate or (depending on when) tell him straight up he doesn't like it. #Dipper is in it for the mysteries and locks himself up while focusing on it. It's on his mind the entire show. #Ford wasn't meant to talk to the kids. He was even avoiding Dipper until an accident happened and he got caught up in the game of ddmd. #Not to mention that the episodes almost always contribute to the story #even filler ones. They may not progress the plot but they will reveal sides of characters or show them growing or changing. #Ford was in it so little that they needed to squeeze the most out of the time which led to little Mabel and him filler. #He didn't have any problems with Mabel unlike how Dipper had some problems with Stan so that wasn't an issue to address #they love each other ur honor #gravity falls #my ramblings

[isfjmel-phleg]

I finally put my finger on why a lot of adaptations and retellings of The Secret Garden feel thematically off to me.

So many of these interpret it as a story about healing from grief and loss. Which is very true of Mr. Craven’s subplot, but not for Mary and Colin.

It’s about healing from emotional neglect.

This is mirrored in the neglected garden and how the children’s restoring it--giving it the love and care and attention that they themselves have lacked--heals them in turn. Forming emotional connections is the first step in Mary’s recovery, and the Sowerbys are crucial to the plot because they’re the first people Mary has known who take an interest in her emotional well-being. Colin meanwhile has his turning point when Mary confronts the root of the emotions he’s never been able to address to anyone. These are very different issues from those surrounding loss of a loved one. In fact, these children are the way they are because they’ve never had loved ones.

So to rewrite the story as centrally a tale of overcoming grief recontextualizes everything about the protagonists, and the characterization either makes less sense or needs to be altered accordingly.

Nothing wrong with stories about overcoming grief, of course. That’s just not the story Burnett was telling, and I’m not sure where the shift in interpretation comes from, or why it’s so prevalent.

#The Secret Garden #this stems from a recently published retelling I'm reading now #it's a beautifully written story #but the protagonist doesn't feel like a Mary parallel in anything other than similar story beats #she has lost two lovely parents whom she was close to #and is now heavily grieving them #so she has a very different set of traits from Mary's #there's a scene where she has a tantrum in front of the Martha analogue #and it just...felt more mandated by the intended connection to the original book #than a natural emotional progression for this character #who so far had been sensitive and melancholy with no significant anger problem

[bylertruther]

i don't like season three when viewing it as a continuation of seasons one and two, but i do very much like season three when viewing it as the prequel to seasons four and five... hmmmmm.

#rewatching it bc i wanted to make another foreshadowing compilation post for myself regarding what will's actions will #likely be in season five re: vecna and lmao. so many things are just... it's like. it makes me laugh how In Your Face it is now #that we know all that we know. so many direct parallels both with dialogue and actions. mike/will/lucas/el foreshadowing their s4 roles. #the flaying of the holloways and the creels. the dormancy / activation shit. the building shit. the natural progression of their arcs. #the different ways that their characters approach problem solving and how we see tht reinforced by s4. it's so fascinating #genuinely i think idk it was just such a big culture shock i guess u could say from 1 and 2 that it was hard to digest on its own for me #but now that 4 is in the same vein it's like Oh. Okay. Yeah no. I get it now. That's cool. I'm forever bitter but I get it and respect it. #3 4 and 5 are a package deal considering they also said 4 was like part 1 of 5. #it also makes sense bc the point of 3 was that everyone was changing and building themselves in a new way and that #includes vecna so. just so fascinating how they link everything and how their vision is so consistent with certain plots and characters #like. the lucas max mike n will + el involvement is right there. the idea that they have to kill vecna and not just his puppets is right #there. that 2nd point starts in season two but three is where it really turns into an ''the end justifies the means'' situation #(especially for will which i think is something a lot of people overlook but—) #s3 is painful when considering their personal character arcs but fucking delicious when considering the overarching supernatural vecna plot #bc thts also when he starts his ''there is no stopping this'' shtick and actually enters the story #and he's fucking slimy lol. which i Love #anyway. omg first i defended mike in the rain fight and now i'm saying i kind of like season three who the FUCK am i!!!!! #crazy what feeling the need to defend a white boy's honor will do to you 😳

[autumnwoodsdreamer]

I feel like the writers must’ve seen the fics and theories and scrambled to come up with things no one could possibly think of for season 3

#just saying #I don’t profess to know what really happened behind the scenes #but this season really doesn’t feel like a natural progression of the story whatsoever #it does however feel like the kinda thing that results from desperately seeking to subvert expectations #no hate on writers or directors or anyone who worked on it #but it is a rather disappointing and confusing and underwhelming season #the mandalorian #the mandalorian season 3

[dirty-bear-rick-sanchez]

Trans Morty fic has now passed 9k words and I’ve only just reached the first coming out scene

#rick and morty #rnm #morty smith #trans morty #trans morty smith #this is gonna be a nightmare to edit #i think a lot of stuff might end up getting cut out because it’s very samey? #idk though #i’m struggling since i decided to start before morty realised he was trans #and i didn’t want it to feel really rushed #but idk if i’m just filling space/time with various traumatising events for this poor kid to prevent that feeling #this has also kind of ended up being an autistic morty fic as well #and then i’ve started trying to address some issues with how rick treats morty #as i always say i am awful for going off on tangents #’what if i wrote a story about morty realising he was trans’ > morty confronting rick about not being able to apologise without being drunk #seems like a natural progression 😅 #i think i’m gonna treat it like a film shoot if that makes sense? #as in just get down everything you can #and just use the parts that are relevant #might be able to rework the remaining bits into another fic #but equally i might not and just keep it all in one massive fic lol #we will see #just need to write things down to get them out of my brain and then i can edit from there #in theory anyway

[a-very-fond-farewell]

pumpkin gnocchi with sausage-based ragú spoke to me in a dream so I think I should really write tonight

#sneaky niki #lamb loose liveblogging #theme of the day: HDS’s philosophical regression #walk with me here for a bit #he ended the series full of himself. enough to read nietzsche #but then I decided I didn’t like the natural progression of things #so he will read philosophers that have come before nietzsche one after the other #in order: schopenhauer. kierkegaard. kant. rousseau. #I’m keeping away from idealism and the likes bc they don’t talk at large about the question around evil or happiness #even kant only briefly touches on that at large but I think HDS would be pompous enough to think himself worthy of kant #all of these people had their flaws btw so this is not me putting any of them on a pedestal #I’m just wearing my HDS goggles right now #but yea I wouldn’t call this story a redemption arc bc I don’t think any of these characters can be redeemed #but evolution also has its regressions and I think HDS needs to take some steps back and remember humanity is not all to toss in the garbage #himself included. he used to be kind. I wanted to explore that sense of regret and guilt and grief starting from his final form in the show #HDS does very heinous shit in this fic to the people around him #he did it in the show and he is doing it again #and his actions will make us pity SDY (incredible! ik!) #also HDS is making new friends (*cough* found family whomst *cough*) and that will remind him of what he had lost along the way #will he be deserving of connection? is a honeymoon phase enough to restore his husmanity? feeling empathy again is worthy of forgiveness? #these are the topics of this writing session #wish me luck :* #niki out!

[toffeebeantable]

First bringing up Hex's Hold'em after season 1

Then literally stating that things are coming back in "full circle" and she even pulls her cat hood back on-

AND KING EVEN SAYING "meowmeow" in that same quick consecutive way Luz said it in season 1 I cant-

This show really is ending. They already obviously referenced how they would've had so much more had they been greenlit again and now they're referencing things from season 1....things really have come full circle.

They even end the episode with the quote "we've got all the time in the world" referencing what Luz said earlier about no time for those 20 adventures. I guess it's sort of like a closure saying like even though were bitter about not getting as much time as we wanted, we'll still finish the show well with the time we have left.

#Im going to cry #again #like throughout thne whole episode #as soon as luz referenced how they were robbed of those 20 episodes I COULDNT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT #I MISSED SO MANY THINGS THROUGHOUT THE EPISODE BECAUSE I FELT SO FUCKED UP #toh spoilers #toffee should shut up #the owl house spoilers #I want to compliment each and every writer #every episode #they time things so nicely it hardly ever feels rushed #the way how they fit in previous plot points and are still able to keep jokes too #and squeeze just enough dialogue and scenes to progress the story naturally #man #my heart

[my-current-obsession]

So uh... I binged through a first run of Our Life: Beginning and Always last night and today. The free base game, no additional DLC. And I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT.

As I do for all otomes/romance games, I played blindly and made the choices I liked most on a first run, practically never reloading to pick different outcomes. I also strived to make the MC as close to me in terms of appearance/personality/etc. as possible, since that was an option here.

If anyone’s curious, I went for direct indifference at step one (since I barely knew/cared about Cove at first and have always been rather honest/blunt about my feelings), then direct fondness step 2 (it definitely felt like we were friends by the end of step 1, so...), then nervous crush step 3. I definitely wanted a romantic (or possibly never-acted upon romantic) ending, and after everyone teasing/implying the relationship was like that or heading in that direction, combined with Cove repeatedly sneaking into MC’s room it felt like the right time.

I went nervous because, well, developing feelings for a friend is bound to make things super awkward and leave you feeling less comfortable. I noticed that starting in step 3 people starting calling Jamie shy and reserved, and I’m not sure if that’s a result of me picking nervous (because I was under the impression those choices only related to how she related to Cove but maybe I’m wrong) or my prior choices of mostly being non-confrontational and passive led to that.

I had decided immediately I WAS NOT going to confess to him, because realistically I’d never risk sabotaging a friendship like that. I played MC often getting flustered but happy when Cove flirted with her and very occasionally made somewhat flirty banter myself, but I shied away from strong advances and never told him how I felt when presented the opportunity.

When our friends were ��fighting” and things got heated, I rode things out and managed to calm him down. I finally told him about the $20 deal his dad had given me afterward, and thankfully he laughed it off. I’m sure in earlier steps he might not have been so receptive to that truth, so I took it as a sign of his growth and also how close we’d gotten.

I actually got a seemingly rare outcome of Cove confessing to me at the end of step 3 - it’s about 20% achieved on Steam and there are at least 3 different threads on the forum asking how to get the outcome I literally got blindly. It was an outcome I was VERY happy with, though I was wondering while playing (and still wonder now) if it’s possible to create a scenario where there are clearly mutual feelings that both parties just NEVER confess to, for fear of ruining what they already have.

Since they ended off step 3 officially together (although I had MC going a little ways away for college, which made things pretty bittersweet, especially since she and Cove had FINALLY gotten together only two days prior) I used “relaxed love” for step 4 since I knew it would take place several years later. I figure after several years of dating you’d be entirely committed and casual/comfortable with your SO. I didn’t have them living together, but it was still obvious how close and cozy they were, which I loved. There were so many emotional/physical intimate moments in this step that cemented how happy they were together. There was much cuddling, hand-holding, and a little more on occasion to be had.

And to end things perfectly Cove proposed and we told literally all our friends and family. Which was sweet, albeit incredibly embarrassing. I had tried to play MC as “neutrally” towards marriage as possible since that’s my honest feelings. For me the important thing is being together and marriage doesn’t really change that, but I’m not opposed to it either.

I honestly LOVE how Cove remained so emotional and soft as he grew up. I know my choices impact his personality and appearance so I’m not sure how much of this was set in stone versus my choices affecting things, but he was a crybaby to the end and struggled SO HARD to confess and then to propose but that was honestly real and wonderful. “My” Cove was more studious than sporty, never ditched his glasses (though he often took them off), cut his hair a bit shorter in 3 only to grow it back longer than ever in 4, and patched his relationship up with his parents over time to the point that he was VERY close and loving with them both in the end. He was more slender than buff (which suited me fine), though he was still very into surfing and his ORCA responsibilities.

He was flawed, but he was perfect to me. I imagine many players went a very similar route to me and got nearly identical outcomes in terms of most of the major plot beats - though maybe they were brave enough to confess, or perhaps their Cove was more sporty than studious. My path just felt VERY organic and natural as they went from strangers to friends to potentially-more to happily committed to each other.

I absolutely intend to replay this again, and with the steps 1-3 DLC for much more content. There are so many variations I’m looking forward to trying. The fact that the base game is free is honestly stunning because I would happily pay 20, 30 bucks for it. I can already tell it has SO MUCH replay value, though I do wonder how much all the choices really matter. Outside of setting your preferences and obviously major decisions (like telling Cove about The Deal or whether to confess your feelings), a lot of them feel like they might just slightly change a specific conversation, but on the other hand there are some choices that SEEM relatively innocuous but have far-reaching consequences or at least callbacks/in-jokes.

I look forward to seeing how much Cove as a person changes in subsequent playthroughs and how much his dynamic with Jamie can be altered at every step. So glad I gave this game a try and I can’t recommend it enough - especially since the base game is free, so anyone can try it without spending a dime! If you give this game your time and love, it has SO MUCH potential content and love to give back to you.

#our life #our life beginnings & always #any otome fans should 100% check this out. i know there's only one love interest technically #but the level of depth to this ONE character and relationship is amazing. and the way you can influence is so strongly is just. #also amazing. you can choose to NEVER romance him or love him from day one. you can do a natural progression - like i did #and inevitably be overcome with emotion when these two crazy kids FINALLY get together #seriously i BAWLED at his almost failed confession that he managed to rescue. i bawled when we snuck out to the hill one last time #i didn't cry when he proposed but it was a near thing for sure. this story HITS you in the feels #and i think any romance enjoyer would appreciate it since you can literally craft whatever ideal romance you want with him

[hummingbirdsaltimolockia]

more stories should have the guts to kill their main character

#not author. stories #don’t ask me to elaborate on this idk how #i’m thinking about gladiator and pan’s labyrinth #something something characters being right and doing good and defeating the evil but it costs them their life #and it’s still a good satisfying ending bc of how the story was set up and progressed #not because the author wanted a big shock at the end #it still feels natural and true to the story #said story should also have a strong supporting cast and developed world so it feels like the story can go on without the mc #that the story goes beyond just the main character #something something that night vale quote death is only the end if you assume the story is about you #but don’t ask me to elaborate on this idk how

[luobingmeis]

i need to find more 3zun people to follow i love xi/yao with all my heart and soul but even i get a bit tired of either 1) nmj being entirely erased from 3zun esp when it comes to lxc’s seclusion or 2) nmj being overtly vilified 😭

#i can talk abt nmj for so long but overall my points boil down to #1) yes i believe to some degree he was too harsh on my/jgy #2) yes he being of the gentry shaped his world view #3) he also has understandable reasons to not want to associate with my/jgy #4) we can talk abt nmj and qi deviation but his qi deviation in the story. was not it’s natural progression. #5) he was not bullied into the brotherhood nor was it just to intimidate jgy #and my secret 6) #i don’t necessarily think nmj was wrong for saying that maybe they shouldn’t let a serial killer be in the hands of the sect #when nmj is like the only one stopping them from completely abusing their power #but tbh overall i just get so :/ when lxc’s seclusion is reduced /entirely/ to jgy #like yes! that is such a big part of it! and by god is it heartbreaking! #but also lxc’s seclusion is a culmination of like. the road to hell being paved in good intentions #and how a lot of his active decisions ended up having adverse effects #like i will not deny that nmj was a threat to jgy but also like. he had claims and his qi deviation is quite tragic to me #and like idk i feel like lxc would feel some kind of way abt. u know. the whole song of clarity thing #but also even in the inverse bc i love nielan as well but then there we have jgy as like #more of the fall guy/‘bad’ guy than he already is #which like in hindsight it’s funny trying to find equal content bc 3zun is a mess akdjdjsj #idk i think my overall thoughts is that nmj can be frustrating with how rigid he can be but also like #1) makes sense for the character mxtx has set up #and 2) his fate as both a man and a fierce corpse is so tragic to me #edit: and even more so i know and love that lxc’s seclusion was pushed by jgy’s death #and how a part of lxc died in that temple #but it’s just!!! sometimes i rotate #bc yes it’s abt jgy and it’s abt how lxc killed jgy for the one thing he didn’t do #and it’s also a line of ‘wrong’ choices #but also when i think abt lxc grieving both his sworn brothers and thinking abt how he should’ve died in the temple #i do lose my mind a bit