#it happens so often to me 😭😭😭

[dizzybizz]

wait iam having a moment

did

is

the wait

did i get a lion plush as a child because i am a leo

or was there no specific reason

wait

#you ever just #yknow when you just realize shit really late out of nowhere #its not even related to anything currently on your mind #but you just #yeahh..... #its me tism im p sure #head in hands #does this happen to anyone else i am gonna screa #m #it happens so often to me 😭😭😭 #whether its getting a joke days after it was made or- #sighhhhh #hes on my bed rn i was just checking on my cat whos sleeping in front of my row of plushies- #and it just hit me 💀💀💀 #guys ia m dstraight up losign mytmingd

[hella1975]

hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

#seriously another shout out to my mutuals #id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being #and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting #bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!' #hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over #and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic #sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭 #okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals #like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful #so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up #than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess #they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds #so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW #okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE #SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES #if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends' #then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context #but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic #and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF #okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this #ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day

[bluebird-ascended]

I inked some of my sketchbook and the world didn't explode so yeah 👍 art dump art dump

is it obvious I just reached skypia arc? 😭

also, if you want to get a scale of the amount of improvement i've had in drawing abs, i've enclosed some old art from a few years ago under the read more 😌i think its pretty impressive

what a looker 😍 jawline that could cut diamonds

#my art #one piece #enel #enel one piece #dracule mihawk #nico robin #black leg sanji #one piece fanart #artists on tumblr #traditional art #art dump #i really thought i was going to put the pen to the sketches and the paper was going to disintegrate in front of me #so i took backup pictures of the sketches i liked in case they were ruined beyond comprehension 🙂can you tell i dont ink sketches often #also that old art was undated because i used to not date my art. very annoying for present me #i'm just going to peg it at somewhere at or before 2022? #come on past me just date your art 😭 #let me know if theres a tag i should add to this because of all the shirtlessness happening in case some people don't want to see that? #i'm not great with tumblr tags

[radaverse]

Do you ever feel EXTREMELY self conscious about your own work or something 💀

artist moment

#legit happened to me several times about ToM #I'm just there then I'm like “WHAT IF THIS IS TOO MUCH?!?! WHAT IF I'M WRITING IT WRONG?!?!” #I guess I have a kind of “trauma” regarding writing badly 💀 #when I was a child my writing was absolutely garbage and now I'm scared of writing badly again 😭⚰️ #MAN I'M JUST THERE TRYING TO SLEEP BUT MY BRAIN COMES LIKE “rad what if tom is too much angst” AND I'M LIKE 👀 #the fear #tower of mistakes #radaverse #I'll also post silly thoughts often to not make this tumblr go so silent when I'm still cooking

[spaciebabie]

i dunno if anyone has noticed this but the more you reblog posts from a person the more often they show up on your dash and i quite like that actually

#edit: i turned off reblogs so i wouldnt spread misinfo 😭 #spacie spoinks #the less you reblog from someone the less they show up on your dash too #its also really easily fixable when you dont want someone on your dash so often just scroll past all their posts lmao #and if you want someone on there more often if you go on a reblog spree of their stuff low and behold there they are!! #dont quote me on this if im wrong KSJFHKJSDFHKJSD #I FEEL LIKE THIS IS A THING THAT HAPPENES BASED ON MY OWN EXPERIENCE BUT IF IT ISNT I MIGHT JUST BE CRAZY #anyways

[ihamtmus]

it's weird how jhope is Right There and he's like the Most Talented Person but some armys just. don't see him. should be studied

#if you do see him i'm not talking about you obviously #but it does happen #like before i got into bts #my mom and sister didn't really notice jhope #he was just There #and when i said he was my bias they couldn't say anything about him except for 'he's a sunshine' #they liked him but didn't actually care #well now he's their fave haha #but i think many ''armys'' stop at that first phase #where they see him as this funny clown but they don't notice that he's actually insanely incredibly talented and cool #his rap verses are ALWAYS top tier #everything about him is just top tier #yes i'm biased but also how can you not see it when you already stan bts 😭 #soooo many armys like him just because he's there but not because they like HIM #and it shows #oh they're missing out #they notice when he supports the other members #(which is often because he loves them so much :')) #but wow they have this Artist right under their noses and choose to only see his (admittedly beautiful) smile #even after jitb and all that it meant #ok rant over #chicken noodle soup thank you for making me a jhope bias and saving me from this fate amen #hobi #bts #my post #it is Very Late perhaps that's why i'm saying this lol #oh one more thing i've never watched these introduction to bts videos #but i just KNOW they are shit about hoseok and his contributions to the group #if you don't have something interesting to say about all the members maybe don't make an ot7 introductory video idk just a thought

[silvermun]

⬆️ bearer of the curse [always gets asked for directions but is terrible at navigating]

#my immediate response is always pulling up google maps if i dont know 😭 #it happens so often even if im with someone they ask me </3 #I DONT WANT YALL TO GET LOST

[milimeters-morales]

wanting to write jessica as the strong independent woman who gets shit done because i like seeing black women have power even in scary/uncertain times due to its comforting and familiar nature V.S. wanting to write her as a nervous first-time mom who needs a lot of attention/care, who isn’t perfect, and has a bunch of issues she should have sorted out before this because i don’t like the idea that black women have to always be strong/bold/harsh to be good characters VS only really enjoying writing when it’s about Miles anyway 😭

#like jessica is just my mom or nanny #and i see a person behind all that… however she was acting in atsv like i understood her completely!!!! of course i didn’t agree bc i was+ #a viewer and i knew what was gonna happen but god if i was in that situation i would side with her i’m sorry . no i’m not #and i just want to understand her so much better. i need to know her inside and out and blind and in death #atsv jessica lore i hope you get expanded upon #and then you have me relating to miles so much i don’t generally care to write about others that often 😭😭😭 help #not tagging

[niallandtommo]

.

#dammit tinder dude is actually really pretty and nice and kind and he's tall!!!!! #but he has a cat 😭 and he loves his cat very very much (which is adorable) #and i know it sounds absolutely ridiculous but it's actually a really big problem for me gkskfs #not only am i allergic but i also do not like cats #(also he doesn't live in my city which isn't ideal but at least he works in my city and he has a car so i can ignore this for now) #but fuck what do i do #am i ready to pretend that i like cats when i meet him? #can i just ignore something that will be in his apartment 24/7? #that is literally the only thing that i don't like about him and i'm aware that i'm being stupid and unreasonable #but how is this supposed to work gkskf #i really like him #and this doesn't happen very often #so i feel like i should just go for it and see what happens #but also hELP

[mo-ok]

🎉 Toku x Birthdays 🎉

Day 4 - Chinese Zodiac

🐂 Ox ~ Kuro Kishi Hyuuga 🐂

#tokubds #gingaman #super sentai #hyuuga #OK LOOK. THIS IS THE BEST COINCIDENCE TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME LMAO. #not only am i an ox - i am a fire ox #and wouldnt you believe it my boy my precious precious boy Hyuuga just so happens to be a fire powered cow fella sooooooooooo #i couldnt not make this about hyuuga #it was written in the stars #every time i think about hyuuga (often) my ability to not be annoying is TESTED #he's my favouritest guy ever and i have a great deal of thoughts about him #he makes me want to smash glass and then calmly clean it up #he's such a SOFT character and it makes all the bullshit he goes through hurt SO BAD and i 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #please watch gingaman #its very good #and it has hyuuga in it #also his gokaiger episode is very good. a real nasty punch straight to the guts #like #do you think it hurt? having bullblack's powers taken from him? did it feel like he'd died all over again? IS GOTAURUS OK ABOUT IT??!?!???? #idk go away dont look at me #me in the middle of the night: do you think Gotaurus missed Bullblack or do you think he saw enough of him in hyuuga that it wasnt so bad #my wife: 🫥🫥🫥

[hella1975]

ive never felt more rural than i have in the past few weeks since hanging out with a lad who has only ever lived in cities. what do you MEAN YOU'VE NEVER DONE A MORRIS DANCE

#he didn't even know what morris dancers WERE i said some shit like 'you know it's summer when the morris dancers come out' #and he was like 'the what now' I FEEL LIKE IM GOING CRAZY. HE'S FUCKING WITH ME SURELY #AND THIS HAPPENS SO OFTEN ABOUT THINGS I JUST ASSUMED WERE BASICS #'harvest festival 🤨' PARDON. YOU ARE JOKING #and also the CONCEPT of a village is baffling to him. i said there's probably about 100 people in my entire village #and we don't have a pub or a single shop the closest ones are in the NEXT village over which is a 3 mile walk #and this boy was HORRIFIED. we are both in a constant state of thinking the other is taking the piss #and now every time i think/do something abundantly rural im SO self-aware 😭 #my mum told me the farmers are gonna do a xmas tractor run through our village this year #(they usually miss our village bc even by village standards it's tiny) #and she was like 'shame you'll miss it! i'll send you a video!' and im there already picturing this boy's face when i show it him #like sigh. yeah. yeah okay maybe the rural england is ingrained deeper than i feared. never escaping the allegations etc #had a conversation with him the other day that concluded with me 100% genuinely being like 'you need to touch grass' #i literally said 'i think it would fix you. like actually go and touch some grass what the fuck' #bc at this point he's so far removed from nature that it's INSANE TO ME. i didnt realise how much i took growing up rurally for granted #THESE PEOPLE DONT EVEN GET DRUNK IN FIELDS. THEY HAVE NO FIELDS. I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO HIM WHAT A CAMP OUT WAS

[kirlianradio]

“My counselor for disaffected youth had no idea what kept me going— though he never phrased it exactly like that. He just asked me how, In light of all my stories, I’d still managed to sustain myself. I couldn’t answer him. I know one thing though, whenever I felt particularly bad I’d instantly cling to a favorite daydream,”

- House of Leaves, pg. 130

Oh…

#house of leaves #johnny truant #like an hour ago I was distraught over coming back to reality after daydreaming #it’s been happening more often and it’s actually started to hurt A LOT #a sweet daydream world where anyone you want can care about you #you can do or be anything. then BACK TO REALITY anddd it’s so dull #I fear… I fear Im just like him? I’m just like him for real? 😭 #ignore all the other parts of Johnny. everytime a character daydreams to escape reality it hits me like a load of bricks

[skillbattle]

tumblr can i ask a question is it worth it getting procreate bc ibis paint x is getting on my last nerves bc it keeps crashing and I had to figure out how to salvage my strawberry shortcake art yesterday bc it glitched the line art out and nearly ruined the whole piece 😭 like would the 10 dollars be worth it

#i can basically adapt to any kind of program . not clip studio paint i cannot stand using that #the only thing that really concerns me is if I can make my canvas really big bc i tend to draw bigger . #idk i wish I could use paint tool sai on my tablet but it’s only made for windows and I’m just enjoying the convenience of drawing on it #im just so scared of using ibis paint bc of the crashing thing it’s happening to often and I’m scared to lose things 😭 #txt

[skitskatdacat63]

I looked forward in a fic I'm reading bcs the authors note was like "it feels bittersweet to finish this fic off" and the last chapter is titled "a year later" I DONT WANNNAAAAAAA STOP WHAT HAPPENS THAT REQUIRES A YEAR LATER UPDATE

#timeskips in fics is like actually the most horrifying thing in the world #<- not in a bad way #in the way that you feel like. oh god. what happens in a year from now. like why is this required #bcs its so often that the two characters seperate or get seperated or smth 😭😭😭 #the one time i was reading a fic and the second to last chapter was super traumatic #and then the next chapter started w a time skip and my heart fucking dropped #also i was reading comments on this fic(its from a couple years ago) #and the author was like yeah i probably will make a sequel #and there is no sequel :< so god please end nicely i beg #theres some other fic for this ship i want to reread #because i remember it being good but i can only vaguely remember the ploy #the downside is that whenever i think about some subconscious part of myself gets morose so im worried it will heart break me again 😭😭 #but ah man i am rediscovering a prev ship rn and my god am astonished at the quaility of the fics. i am EATING them #its rare for me to get into the mood for long fics but w this im like oh my god please feed me #catie.rambling.txt

[urmomsfavelesbian]

🥹 shoutout to my euro bestie moot lina @snowflakenali for easing my genuinely debilitating fomo by not only getting me uk dragcon merch, but also mentioning me to daya who 😭 remembered me by name and Lit Up upon talking about me 😭, AND got a video of willow talking to me and saying my name and saying she’ll see me in april 😭 some public appreciation was necessary for dealing with paypal and crazy lines and for the soon to be hell of international shipping 🥹 and shoutout to my self proclaimed accountant jess @polychromeedge for Also helping me deal with the hell of paypal and always counseling me through my fomo and ridiculous levels of daya induced mental illness and getting excited for me to wake up and see images 🥰 and shoutout to my big sister ashie @dayabot for freaking out about dayasco with me 24/7 for days now and writing endless winding concepts about the vamp wives and coordinating posts with me and letting me send willow n boscy performance videos and endlessly enabling my terminal levels of boscobrain. and an overall shoutout to the gay community and dayasluts working together 😌

#listen #i don’t recommend fp’ing a celebrity bc it makes their unreachable events Very Very Hard #hard on a level that goes embarrassingly beyond ‘oh damn fomo i wish i was there’ #esp bc several Very Bad Things happened to me that nixed my plans to get to london #which made it hurt extra bc 7/10 of my girls are there and i could’ve been too if the government wasn’t evil #HOWEVER #i will soon possess an extra special dayascy polaroid and print And the shirts #this’ll be my third white dayasco shirt one belongs to ashie dayabot and i need to send it to her #and one is signed so i can’t wear it often and this one will be my new sleepy shirt bc they ward off nightmares (embarrassing and real) #and that really really really helps an embarrassing amount 🥲 what can i say my livelihood and life force are driven by my girls #daya remembers me and that’ll keep me going (real) she must think my reach is Insane #i got eyes everywhere clearly #willow said. my. name and said she’ll see me in april and called me baby 😭 #dies of gratitude #i love being gay love is love stonewall was a riot etc

[lesbiradshaw]

i wish nonlesbians could be Normal about lesbian headcanons or characters

#both having/stanning then or watching other people who have/stan them #but No somehow it always gets made weird #most often by nonlesbians taking lesbians stereotypes (ex mean lesbian/manhating lesbian/etc); assigning them to x character & running w it #or seeing that someone (usually a lesbian!) has this opinion or view about a character & either: #rushing to say shit like ‘i never wouldve seen it that way’ ‘not really my thing but so valid’ ‘i ship her w [man] but this is interesting #OR just piggybacking to say they hc the character as a different sexuality (which is like ok cool make ur own post then) #sorry but i actually feel like im going crazy sometimes because this happens almost every time i post ab lesbian hcs or lesbian fics. like #the word ‘valid’ gets thrown around so much and i know its not maliciously meant but it feels so backhanded 😭 #like Yeah i know its valid thats why im talking about it. why would i need a stamp of approval #anyways #maybe i Am crazy and no one else has picked up on this but. well #it has been irking me for so long. #also nonlesbians should not be joking ab m/f or m/m ships being ‘lesbian coded’ or ‘giving lesbian vibes’ SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!!! #carolcore