#it all happened in my head

[littlegaybean1]

*me, on holiday*

My brain: look, it's them!

Me: oh my gosh it's them!

My parents: huh?

Me: Aziraphale and Crowley! They're everywhere!

My parents: ...

The beach: ...

The white seafoam crashing onto the black rocks: ...

Me: I love them <3

#I'm just kidding #My parents weren't involved #it all happened in my head #but I did in fact think this #im so normal about them #im normal i swear #good omens #everything is good omens #its everywhere #good omens season two #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #ineffable spouses #ineffable wives #i miss them

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[bluegiragi]

new moon (part 3)

early access + nsfw on patreon

#y'all mustve known this was gonna happen #also this was before i committed to changed my simon design and ooft OOFT #i am. putting my head in my hands #the art gets better than this i swear #cri #also this is all i can post or else tumblr will smite me #but know theres more to this comic #lmao #ghostsoap #monster141 au #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #captain john price #kyle gaz garrick #giragi art

[camilleflyingrotten]

Three thousand six hundred times an hour, Second Whispers: Remember!

#loki #loki series #loki season 2 #mobius #lokius #digital art #my art #it's a little fix it comic but also I like to imagine that it all happens in Mobius head lmfaooo

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

a couple scribbles i cleaned up. also i think i like drawing him in varying states of distress

#i desperately want to know what happened the first time he cried #actually is that something he can do? is he capable of it? #i feel like he wouldn't like it... #since crying is messy and we all know he enjoys/values his appearance greatly #i mean cmon. its an involuntary loss of composure. and especially if he doesnt understand what/why its happening #so in my mind rn hed be idk... kinda desperate to stop crying & act fine? #HES SO FASCINATING. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM <3 #many things probably! #what to do when you're a puppet created as a blank slate while everyone around you already Knows Shit and Understands Feelings #scribble salad #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home fanart #welcome home wally #wally darling #i know there's a lot of Head Empty jokes abt him #but honestly he gives the vibes of thinking constantly #always absorbing information and considering and learning and Forming Opinions #he LOOKS head empty. but he isnt. #i just cant imagine him never not Thinking #unless he really is head empty in which case. good for him. i support him no matter what. hes just like me<3

[skunkes]

adding to my collection, need more

#talkys #sorry if you end up seeing me posting these images 500 billion times its not enough to jst post em and reblog em. #i need them to cope. LOL #everything is so sucks... #theres something about that last one thats so endearing to me it repeats in my head whenever i see #good things happening to my buddys...will happen to me eventually too‚ i hope... #i hope i hope i hope #im doing so bad these are all i have #big one

[mirrorhouse]

wow..... can you believe i have access to the super top secret classified special version of bg3 where this happens

#kissing my strange husband before going off to evil work at the getting my head exploded factory #sorry whatever i think this couldve happened yknow tensions are high and all that #baldur's gate #enver gortash #the dark urge #durgetash #★

[punkitt-is-here]

some human Mane 6 Designs I did today! :D

#my posts #humanized #mlp #mlp:fim #my little pony #fluttershy #pinkie pie #rainbow dash #applejack #rarity #twilight #eqg #in a sense #im tagging it as such #my art #also this all happened because i had a brain blast and was like hey wait #im gonna draw fat pinkie pie #it all jsut cliked in my head #and then the rest came

[squishymar]

new episode = more bad kids tweets! i love this one

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #d20 #in my head the last post happens often #they all love each other #the bad kids #fhjy spoilers #d20 spoilers #riz gukgak #figeroth faeth #adaine abernant #gorgug thistlespring #fabian aramais seacaster #kristen applebees #should add some pcs? let me know! #fhjy #send me suggestions #for future posts!

[youngmoviemaker]

It could be real . . . @bamsara

#me emerging from under rock ive been under and immediately consumes all trod au content #and starts a cute little watercolor fanart of the dorks being dorks #hope you like #now back to my rock #definitely the most complicated fanart ive done for ya yet #hehhehehhehehheh the lamb and cat just go brrrr in my head and this happened officer i swear #trod au #narilamb #the rehabilitation of death #cult of the lamb #my art #watercolor #bamsara

[chitinleg]

got him off-balance!

#my art #ds9 #star trek deep space nine #julian bashir #elim garak #garashir #watercolor #image desc in alt text #i normally post on mondays but. today im breaking my pattern! getting a little silly. getting a little wild. garashir jumpscare #“tumblr user chitinleg garak would neot easily let himself be swooped off his feet into a hug like that” yes i know BUT! #look at his expression. look at how his arms r pinned. he didnt let this happen LMAO julian just surprised him. grabby huggy human behavior #if you look really closely you can see the tiniest frown in the world on Garak's face. because he's like “EEP !” #cant see bashirs face at all in this only his body but i think we can all imagine that whatevers going thru his head. he needs this hug bad #ALSO. for anyone wondering what the fucked up shadow is that starts at the juncture of the teal sleeve-cap where its set into the armhole #the jumpsuits have a bit of a fold of extra fabric (called an Action Pleat) there which allows for a little more maneuverability of the bod #AND creates a really sleek and flat back panel #because you can see the fabric twists along the side arent grabbing the flat back fabric theyre grabbing the fabric folded beneath it #often times i think about drawing out a dissection of kiras first uniform and this voy era one for other artists to use. bc god knows #i struggled at first to find full body references #they like to shoot ds9 very close to peoples heads. and the camera is so blurry. they smeared butter on that thing. god bless

[obsob]

sending emails but sniffling and whimpering after typing each word

#mine #original #this is a self portrait today i sent 3 emails then had to go hve a warm bath #i hate emaisl i jhefb f hasf iw ant to bite emails as hard as i possibly can once really hard #im manifesting an illustration agency wanting me its going to happen i can feel it #pls pls spls plslslsp spls #i had more ot write but all gone from my head.....too many emails made brain fried #one of th cats has decided that her food is disgusting and is refusing 2 eat it .....little beast #shes been eating it very happily for like 3 weeks and now is like? kill yourself actually #anyway. am cold. going to go hve food.

[katabay]

desmond & friends modern day assassin sequences…..I miss you……..

#specifying ‘and friends’ because I hate William Miles with my whole heart and he is not included in this sentiment #anyway vaguely this is nyc so the cops are probably wasting taxpayer money by fucking around in the subway #komiks tag #assassins creed #shaun hastings #desmond miles #this is almostttttttttttt shaundes #but I didn’t continue the dialogue far enough to make it really flirty. There’s a hint of flirting happening. #someday I’ll have to actually do a longer form fan comic to land my favorite ship AND my favorite narrative elements in the same #go (the horror and dialogues on free will and what we owe each other past/present/future & also what failure means AND-) #this ties into my second favorite relationship dynamic: clay and desmond. obvious. clay might live in my head rent free a little more than #Desmond does because that end of game reveal in AC1 is a top 10 games experience to me and I think about it all the time #ANYWAY IM OFF TOPIC NOW. desmond picks up snacks at a bodega on his way back

[angelbitezzz]

yknow that thing where becoming obsessed with a character makes you a better artist? i am feeling it tonight boys

#art #my art #digital art #doodle #undertale #sans #sans undertale #classic sans #thinking about what it must've been like to learn that #everything you've ever known is turned on its head but nothing changes #you go about your day and everything is normal but you KNOW something now you know something you would've been better off not knowing #timelines jumping all over the place stopping and starting #what if thats you? what if its your timeline next? #how many yous have been bought back to zero without knowing? #how many times has it happened to you? #you get up and you make your brother oatmeal for breakfast and you think “whats the point?” #sorry just having a long think about silly skeleton man you know how it is

[s0fter-sin]

something happening on a mission, something personal that has soap spiralling; panic and rage making him reckless, thoughtless, and ghost has to draw the line

“you’re compromised johnny; you know what that means?”

“you’re not pulling me out,” soap immediately snarls. he turns on him and ghost barely recognises him; venomous fear turning his eyes to unyielding ice. "you're not sidelining me; i need to be in this-!"

but ghost has never been afraid of venom; spat or dripped straight from bared fangs.

he snakes out a hand grip the back of his neck, jerking him in a rough shake. "if you can't think, you can't be a soldier," he growls and he flinches like he's been struck.

his lips quiver as they twist in a sneer and he wrenches, trying to free himself of his hold.

ghost doesn't let him.

"it means you give your body to me because your head ain't fucking attached to it anymore."

soap stills, body trembling beneath his hand as he sucks in shaking breaths.

he tightens his grip, pulling him closer and digs his forehead hard into his. “it means you give yourself to me so i can have the weapon that you are and use you the way you're meant to be used."

the ice in soap's eyes fractures.

ghost’s voice drops to a whisper, spoken only to johnny, not this facade of vengeance and pain, and wills it to reach him through the glaciers.

“so i can keep you safe ‘til it’s done and i can bring you back.”

#in my head its bc graves abducts his sister and is using her as hostage to draw him out knowing ghost will always follow him #but the intensity and intimacy of saying ‘you cant trust your mind not to betray you so let me be in charge of your body until you can’ #after what happened to tommy he could never deny johnny his right to save his sister #but its bc of what happened to tommy that he knows he cant let him do it alone with only his rage to guide him #hes more likely to get himself killed and ghost wont live through that #so he has to balance it #and the only way he knows how is to completely shut down soap’s mind until hes no more than instinct and muscle memory #if he cant think practically then dont let him think at all #reduce him to a place where he can only follow orders #and when its finally over and his sister is safe and graves is dead #only then will he drag johnny back up to the surface #he’ll do it even if it means dragging him kicking and screaming back to humanity #instead of letting him sink in the depths where nothing hurts. theres no fear down there. no pain. only order #and thats the risk ghost took sending johnny to that place but he only did it bc he would stop at nothing to bring him back #and help him through the after #the breakdown. the rush of panic and rage and relief and anguish johnnys been supressing on his order #it was his word that turned johnny into a ghost #and its his touch that brings him back to the man #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #we’re a team. ghost team #cod #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghost x soap #ghoap #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #john soap mactavish #soap cod

[wayward-banana]

Idk how to cope with whatever just happened (DDD moment) so I reverted to system default and put them all in dresses. can you forgive me

#it will happen again #I’ve got a lot of things rotating around in my head right now and Meow Wow is the biggest of them all #hey can we talk about dream eater Riku let’s talk about Dream Eater Riku I just think we should talk about Dream Eater Riku for a second #kingdom hearts #Sora #Riku #Kairi #like…. DDD was so good in a lot of ways but man the second time travel gets thrown in #especially like this #i get a bit lost #BBS was also good! didn’t have as much impact as 2 or prior but I still had fun #almost at 3 I’m almost there #soon