#is the term I once used for it I think

[uncanny-tranny]

The hardest, but most important, part of my transition has been untangling what my personal dysphoria is, and what is more a result of cissexism.

What I mean by this is that I learned that I am not dysphoric about certain aspects of myself, my body, and my life, but my discomfort in these aspects was influenced by the cissexist culture I live in which told me I couldn't exist as myself.

It's definitely a slow process, but I have found that it helps me self-actualize and actually see myself instead of what others demand of me.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #dysphoria #and what makes this really tricky is that often it isn't clear-cut as to what makes you dysphoric... #...versus what makes you uncomfortable due to your culture or environment... #...i still experience dysphoria but now i find that my motivation isn't to please the people around me... #...if i truly wanted to please the people around me then i would cease to exist altogether... #...and once i truly recognized that and came to terms with this reality i stopped feeling like i owed the world everything... #...i stopped feeling so disconnected with myself... #...i don't think this will be useful for everybody but i want to offer a different approach to it... #...by no means do i think that this is a 'cure-all' in fact it's not even close... #...because what i found that this has done is bring me *closer* to my trans body and my trans soul... #...i have found that my dysphoria has narrowed (especially since going on testosterone) and i feel more at peace

[communistkenobi]

re: that gamete article, I think what’s also compelling to anti-trans activists is that gametes are invisible - it’s the same reason why debates about chromosomes are persuasive, they are imperceptible in all social interactions outside of a doctor’s office, and so counter-intuitively they can be argued as being always visible, always seeping out through our pours as a gendered essence that cannot be concealed or changed. actually being able to look at your individual gametes or chromosomes is gated behind medical institutions, and because of this inaccessibility they can be loaded with all kinds of social and political meaning, converted into a mystical essence contained within the body that imbues you with a gendered spirit. this is why I don’t think we should ever concede that transphobes are making biological arguments - they are using the authority of evolutionary and medical biology to do gender metaphysics, it’s a deliberate mystification of scientific authority for reactionary political goals. they aren’t making scientific claims and they aren’t trying to

#even old new york was once new amsterdam #again correcting this is important and this isn’t a dismissal/argument against the article I linked #outlining just how incorrect transphobes are is very useful #but outside of empirically proving them wrong I don’t think we should ever be arguing on their terms

[mysecretwindowuniverse]

Nygmobblepot Text Meme

#Gotham #gotham text posts #tumblr text meme #oswald cobblepot #edward nygma #nygmobblepot #finally got around to making a nygmobblepot text meme #short and sweet but to the point #used it as an opportunity to improve/redo prior nygmobblepot text posts so that's now off of my long term to do list #when i tell you that last text post has lived in my head rent free FOR YEARS i'm not exaggerating #probably think about it once a week and i never fail to crack up #showed it to my fiance and he let out an exasperated sigh then after a heavy pause he was like: it's not wrong but damn it #so glad i get to torment this man for the rest of our lives <3 #my gifs #mine #risqué

[stan-joe]

pspsps link click fans these are two different cars (and probably two different road trips):

First car ↑

Recent car ↓

#also very different backgrounds between the two sets #not sure if this is being talked about elsewhere bc i really only use tumblr but I haven't seen anyone saying anything here #thought i'd make a note of it #link click #the 2023 art with CXS leaning on the yellow car is also a different car but it's more detailed so idk maybe it's also meant to be car 1 #similar looking to a point but definitely different cars #but what do i know #could i ID these cars? probably. but im bad at IDing drawn cars. show me a live action car and i gotchu. once it's stylised im out. #btw does anyone think the recent car shots look distinctly different (in terms of composition/framing) than the typical style #distinctly might not be the right word there. there's just something about them that vibes different. it's 1am i don't wanna think about it

[dyketubbo]

i remember seeing someone call tubbo a fully grown adult at 19 (obvs before he turned 20) and i gotta say. i think maybe some people have a really skewed idea of what constitutes as "fully grown". and also what constitutes as properly mature. thinking that at 18/19 (or hell even at 20/21) people are now fully grown and mature is insane to me like yall thats how you get people thinking their life is over at like 23 and that 30 year olds are senior citizens 😭😭 be fr

#this is a problem no matter where you look but i think a lot of ppl in the mcyt fandom esp seem to think once youre- #-considered an adult at all that it automatically means youre fully grown and mature and thats just nooottt really true for most ppl #which i think can lead people down to sort of dangerous paths especially because 'adult' is often defined by age of consent #and theres also some slight cultural differences like even just between the us and the uk where due to 18yr olds being able to drink in- #-the uk (and other places) i think it genuinely causes some dissonance #where i see often in the us that when youre 18/19 youre still treated (id say rightfully) as being rather young and not Truly a grown adult #hence. yk. the term Young Adult #but i think in places where the drinking age is younger it starts causing people to see younger people as more mature #which is also why a lot of predators like to push for the age of consent to be at a younger age like 15 or 16 #and why many lolicons try to point at japans age of consent (which for the record is complicated and not as simple as just 'age of consent- #-is 13') as a defense for how they act #because these sorts of milestones (having sex and drinking) are seen as marks of a true adult. which gets into a whole lot of other #complicated things #and often dangerous things and ways of thinking #ANYWAYS . basically 18/19 isnt fully grown 20 is also hardly fully grown itself #and theres ways to combat people infantilizing tubbo and other creators his age without acting like hes actually #fully grown and mature lol. i promise you humans are not fully grown at 20 years old are you kidding me 😭😭😭😭 #if youre in your 20s you still have a lot of time and space to grow i promise. do not fall for the idea that your life is done by like 23 #idk. im only 18 myself but it just feels insane to me that if i were a creator people would be calling me a fully grown adult #not that im not an adult but i dont think im mature enough to be seen as fully grown and i guess itssss. sad? #to see other people my age think that turning 18 means youre fully grown. just really not true #theres a lot of 30 year olds who still see early 20yr olds as being practically babies we have Not made it to full maturity yet i prommy #mask mews

[muninnhuginn]

Thinking about "your weakness is how you always want to be the hero" and how the series returns to this at the end

Li Lianhua hated how he acted as Li Xiangyi and spent years trying to distance himself from it, but ultimately he still fell back into the similar patterns, for all his added experience

His main priority was always to "do the right thing" regardless of how that would impact on those around him. And it *did* impact those around him. From Qiao Wanmian and Shan Gudao as Li Xiangyi to Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng as Li Lianhua

Giving the Styx flower to the emperor so he could use it as leverage to guarantee Fang Duobing and his family's safety. Using the last of his power to save Yun Biqiu. Constantly putting others above himself whilst actively refusing to recognise that his self-sacrificial nature would hurt those he cared about most

And sure, he thinks he's going to die anyway. They're going to be hurt regardless and he can't do anything about that. His odds are low of the Styx flower even working. But ultimately, he refuses to even consider trying. Li Xiangyi has been dead a long time and Li Lianhua is just there to tide things over. What value is the life of a ghost

To the end, he lives and dies a hero. To the end, he refuses to live for himself.

#sth about how he almost managed to live for himself but his past and need to do right doomed him. #those missing years before canon starts were probably the closest he got but even then the knowledge he couldn't use martial arts #must have killed him (no pun intended). because he'd put so much stock in his identity as sigu sect leader + hero + prodigy #so to have such a massive part of his identity stripped from him... honestly it doesn't seem that he ever fully comes to terms with it #but he makes progress and he tries to do better. + that leads to him becoming a different type of 'hero' than the symbol he was originally #deep down he wants to help people with all he has but his capacity isn't infinite + at some point can only be taken from himself #mysterious lotus casebook #mlc spoilers #also to be clear I mention shan gudao not to say lxy should have realised earlier bc for a lot of the time he was too young to notice #and later on sgd did better at hiding his intentions. but more for how lxy tunnel visioned towards his idea of righteousness #and steamrolled over everyone else. both sgd and qwm were placed far below the importance of the sigu sect #and lxy's arrogance made it such that sigu became reliant on him alone as he shut others out (hence domino fall once he went). #idk if he could ever have 'fixed' what was btwn him and sgd bc it was so deep rooted but I do think that his actions #helped convince sgd that sgd was entirely in the right to choose his path #mlc #edit: just went and checked the exact wording of the TL and it's actually 'you like being a hero' rather than 'you want to be the hero' #which is different but still close enough in implications for my point to stand (I think)

[horce-divorce]

I said this the other day but i was right and I should say it again, and so should everyone else whos been saying it:

"transandrophobia truthers aren't oppressed for being men because being a man isn't an oppressed identity, you inherently have male privilege and are therefore Men Invading Women's Spaces" is THE SAME ""argument"" from a few years back about "ace people can't be oppressed for sexual orientation because you can't be oppressed for something you dont have, you are Cishet Ppl With Cishet Privilege Invading Queer Spaces." It's the same fucking picture.

A lot of you are picking up on the concept of "transandrophobia truthers are the new MRAs so let's mock them" without actually knowing ANY of the context for what we're talking about in transmasc circles. You're literally just gossiping about secondhand misinformation and you look stupid as hell.

#me #transandrophobia #if you use that term even once im blocking you on sight! bye! #but it is really disappointing when u thought someone was cool and then they just uncritically start mocking the shit out of you #because they heard a rumor that these stupid trans MRAs need to be taken down a peg #its a callout post with many targets instead of one specific one. #its wild to see people become critical of callout culture and then turn around and treat transmascs like this lmfao #like we literally know where the 'its a problematic term :/' rumors started. it can be traced. #and yall just eat that shit up. #stop calling yourself intersectional if that's how youre gonna be #you think youre punching up. youre not. and when you realize it i hope it makes you sick.

[unlikely-gravestones]

Currently thinking about how for nearly all Dreamling meetings, Hob's always the one watching Dream leave him.

In 1389, he watches Dream walk away from their table. In 1489, he again watches Dream leave while saying that he never told Hob his name. In 1589, he bitterly watches Dream leave with Shakespeare. We don't see the end of the 1689 meeting, but there's a pattern here, so. In the 1789 meeting, Hob again watches Dream leave and he literally never looks away from him- the scene ends with Hob still watching Dream leave after their confrontation with Constantine, he never turns his head from him. And then of course the 1889 meeting, which again...ENDS WITH HOB CHASING AFTER DREAM AND WATCHING HIM LEAVE IN THE RAIN

friends I am having thoughts

#The angst potential of Hob being so used to the one that's left behind #Always watching His Stranger leave #Which #Hob's happy to watch Dream walk anywhere if u know what I mean #But he's always the one being left in that pub for the next 100 years #Someone know what I'm trying to say I can't get to my point #I don't even think there's a point it's just a recurring detail I noticed #And the last shot of the 1789 meeting got me because it literally ends with Hob STILL watching Dream leave #Despite him walking in the opposite direction his head was STILL turned to watch Dream #the sandman #dream of the endless #hob gadling #dreamling #sandman #And it's not that I think hob wants to be the one that leaves Dream for once #It's just that by 1889 we can clearly see that Hob is evaluating their relationship and wanting more from it #Wanting to put clear terms down and see where they stand and he's OBVIOUSLY been musing a lot on their interactions #I just think it would add to how lost he might feel about where they stand with eachother when he's always being left alone

[fma03envy]

The idea that Mettaton knows about the amalgamates and that's why he and Alphys aren't friends anymore drives me insane and it's an interpretation no one can change my mind about

#MTT knows the reason Asgore hired Alphys was bc Asgore saw that Alphys had made a vessel a soul could be put into (MTT)& thot itd be useful #the fact we know from her logs that Alphys and Mettaton were still on speaking terms *during* the amalgamate experiments #the fact that MTT could probably see the true labs elevators shaft from his hiding spot in the wall #(i made a diagram showing this once but I'm too lazy to find it) #(point is idk why Alphys would choose that spot for MTT if he doesn't already know the elevator's there) #the way his 'all so you would think she's the great person...that shes not' bit kinda implies he doesnt think Alphys is great like. morally #the way the game refuses to give us a clear answer about their falling out #adrien says stuff #utdr #Mettaton #Alphys #headcanons analysis au ideas and such #edit-also his ''Since the flash of light [Alphys]'s been working hard to set everything right. Ha-Ha. About time huh?'' line is v telling #(ty to susielesbianism for finding that quote Id known he said smth along but couldn't remember exactly what/when)

[crimsongrimoire]

masochist wrio is real. To Me.

#crow.txt #genshin #snippets #wriolette #neuvithesley #not sfw #suggestive #whichever #i could swear i had posted this but i guess not considering i cant find hide nor hair #its a little funny to me bc when people portray wrio strictly as a Mean dom top...... i mean its fun occasionally but ALWAYS? #i just think hed be the one moaning about it if he got slapped or stepped on. and then begging for it harder #wrio 🤝 yelan : people assuming theyre hard dom tops bc of their general (similar) Vibes when theyre masochist sub leaning switches at best #wrios 👏 handcuffs 👏 are 👏 for 👏 him 👏 #he even Says 'yeah theyre mostly for show they shouldnt really ever have to be used yknow' out loud #i just think he'd like to give up control in a safe environment every once in a while. as a treat #getting off my soapbox now. sub wrio rights tbh. thats enough rambling #stop conflating the terms dom/top and sub/bottom. and to take it a step further stop associating those with Gender Roles 2 #nothing to lose but your chains etc etc

[dominote]

i think light yagami is "socially adept" in terms of being able to reason out relatively well what to say and do to come off as a harmless and good and polite young man who is likeable to be around. however i do not think "socially adept" (or "neurotypical") typically comes with having to preface every other normal-passing action and statement with a minor crisis of "ah shit. quick, what would i say/do in response to this if i was light yagami, a normal and nice and respectable young man?"

everyone likes to talk about him talking about kira in third person but can we acknowledge that he also talks about LIGHT in third person. i'm not adding manga panels at 3:57am but y'all know exactly which ones i mean

#light is decent at masking but he is NOT coming off as perfect to anyone who looks at him with a critical eye. like L or near #it's just that a lot of people take him at face value #he's handsome he gets top grades his dad is the police chief his family adores him girls like him etc #and he gets to skate off of that a lot until someone comes around and questions the mask #he unravels so fast once he gets closer to L. he fucks up the misa thing so badly even HE has to admit to L's face #that kira probably didn't think things through with the second kira and kind of panicked #ughhhhhhhhhhh i have so many thoughts about him. he works very hard to come off as socially competent. it's a learned skill not innate #i firmly believe there is some shit going on w light in terms of mental conditions. HOWEVER #i also believe he was relatively 'normal' up until the death note sent a lot of that shit spiralling #lots of mentally ill people live pretty normal lives it turns out! a lot of us can get by and sort of manage! #even if it means masking and coping as needed #i don't think you have to be mentally ill to react to the death note the way light did #i do think it oiled some clockwork that was already ticking though #anyway. light is socially competent to some degree because he tries to be. sometimes it backfires. sometimes he misses. normal stuff #trying to say he is objectively socially adept or inept is futile though #but ig what is death note without black and white thinking and what is the dn fandom without diving into the nuances under the surface layer

[citymiddled]

did you guys know that, well, the cruelty is the point

#i love this entire scene sooooo bad it's so delicious #flaunting the tadpole abilities and what he's capable of -- he's broken free of cazador somehow AND he can withstand the sun #and THEN once they leave. he attempts to manipulate tav in suuuuch a genuinely horrible way like #oh well of course i feel bad for them. i mean they're FORCED to do cazador's bidding. but no matter! #i'm fine sacrificing them for my own gain :) or rather... for OUR gain :) #this will keep both of us safe :) and... well... you want me to be safe right? :) you want me to be happy right? :) #this isnt him at his worst by any means but god it's soooo so good after how his act 2 arc is if youre romancing him #he's open and vulnerable and tells tav all about his plans and how he's been manipulating them this whole time #only to do it in a fun and new and interesting way all over again. but this time youre already 100% on his team #ANYWAY. i like when he's a bit fucking terrible #bg3 #playing bg3 #astarion #act 3 is really just a whole new beast to me at this point. how fun. i only got here once before and it was buggy and barely worked #sorry. i will be soooo deeply annoying as i rotate everyone in my head like little rotisserie chickens for the next few days #really thinking about how elluin is dealing with seeing this - she understands feeling like power will fix everything and keep her safe #but unlike astarion is capable of thinking long-term and about consequences #so this has her shaking in her fucking boots. and really has her grappling with the reality of their relationship #so until they actually get to the szarr palace and deal with the ritual... she's super withdrawn with astarion and even with the others #she wants him to be safe bc it means that she can realistically be safe since they're weird little mirrors for each other #but also. does safety exist without it becoming warped and horrifying #sorry. i will be normal again eventually

[rainswept]

saving u all from the asshole fuckboy aventurine agenda half of this fandom is so hellbent on portraying

#i think he’s very Tongues & Teeth by the crane wives but. contrary to popular belief. i don’t think he’d be the one singing #yeah he’s not stupid but i could see him being so in love…… #if someone managed to bring his guard down and was with him for years #not sure if he could bring himself to leave once the kisses started cutting his lips and the touches started bruising #maybe i’m ‼️ wrong but idk this man screams fucked up attachment 2 me #he’s used to pain.. i think he’d put up with it #at first he’d flee. if it was anywhere near the start of the relationship? yeah he wouldn’t stay if he felt he was on “the losing end of #the bet” #but i also personally believe it would take a lot to be romantically involved with him at all #like i think it would have to be a friends first thing. slowburn in fanfic terms. #idk i’m just nottt getting the one night stand vibe from him. #so like i said if someone was with him for a longgg time… and truly tore his walls down.. i doubt he’d be so quick to run #i think he keeps himself closed off. but when he does love he loves wholly and fully to the point of it hurting. #not out of malice but out of sheer intensity.. #yeahhhh tongues & teeth….. #love is love but instead of in the gay way it’s “sure it hurts every time it happens but at least i feel something” #probably the gay way too though

[pencap]

.

#sylvie speaks #(in the tags because this isn't a complete enough though to make a proper post out of) #(and i will probably delete it anyway) #i am having Thoughts about creating and sharing and credit #and what it means to be a creator on the internet #(as much as that term has become loaded now) #i have mostly accepted that i do not get to control what people do with my words once i post them in a public forum #i will ask and i will request and i will trust in the goodness of strangers #but there will always be some people acting in ignorance or malice #and really when it comes to things like gifsets and fics and such i am so so happy for people to use them #even if it's for a fandom/media/ship that i might personally dislike or find uncomfy or some such thing #because it inspired and someone found meaning in my words and that is. all i can ever really ask #and they tend to be well credited anyway #and even if they aren't i think most people recognize that the quotes probably came from someone else #i'm not even as upset about poems floating around wholesale uncredited #(i'd have a personal vendetta the size of the pacific ocean against pinterest if i did) #but when it becomes credited to someone else #or when someone else claims credit for it #that... that does upset me in ways i find hard to articulate #and takes me by surprise in its stark contrast to how little i care about the other kinds of usage #i think it's about ownership perhaps #it is one thing to let something go #it is another thing entire for someone else to take it for themselves #it is mine; or it was; and i don't mind sharing i really don't #you don't even have to say thank you or tell me you're using it or even say it's mine #(though i much much much prefer that you do) #but it feels deeply violating for someone else to slap their name on it #i am perhaps slightly more bitter about this than usual #bc i recently discovered another piece of blatant plagiarism #that isn't worth pursuing but it does make me sad

[cienie-isengardu]

Bi-Han when talking to his (story mode) allies who also are enemies of Kuai Liang

MORTAL KOMBAT 1 (2023)

Havik: Aid me and I'll destroy the Shirai Ryu. Bi-Han: That is *my* privelege, Havik.

Shao: If I *ever* see your brother --- Bi-Han: You won't unless you visit his grave.

Shang Tsung: Kuai Liang's betrayal cost us dearly. Bi-Han: He will bleed for it, sorcerer.

BONUS: Noob Saibot [Mortal Kombat 11 (2019)]

Geras: Bring your brother to Kronika. Noob Saibot: The dead are my clan now. Geras: Do you serve or do you not?

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat spoilers #bi han #sub zero #noob saibot #I think no fan of Lin Kuei is truly happy about the MK1's take on Bi-Han and Kuai Liang's strained relationship #without givings us first some good brotherhood moments to root for #but i like the creators at least keep bi han's remarks about dealing with brother as an ambiguous rather than straight up I will kill him #as his specific choice of words reminds me a lot about Noob Saibot #who did not have any problem with admiting kuai liang is his brother to people who in general were on good terms with kuai liang #but when asked by geras to bring kuai liang to kronika he was suddenly like what a brother sorry only dead are my family now #and i meant it #bi han has never once said he is gonna kill kuai liang (or smoke for that matter) #sub zero will say stuff about hurting kuai liang / shirai ryu to brother's face or kuai liang's allies #sure #but so far only to shang tsung he said kuai is gonna bleed for betrayal (still being hurt/punished not killed) #while his replies to shao and havik are more ambiguous #like the one for shao - you will see my bother only if you visit his grave #there is no addition AFTER I WILL KILL HIM #more like you are not allowed to see kuai liang until he died #i like that there is some unsaid stuff one may read in various ways when it comes to Bi Han's family matters

[godsfavoritescientist]

The whole time I've been reading Flatland I've tried to picture what a comparable version of it would be for a 4 dimensional being visiting a 3 dimensional being. I've been picturing 4d vision as being able to see the entire surface area of a 3d object all at once, but now I think that might be comparable to a 2d person thinking that 3d vision only means being able to see all of the exterior edges of an object at once, without picturing any of the planes that connect the lines. I think a more accurate description of 4d vision might involve being able to see *every single* cross-section of a 3d object all at once, from *every possible* angle at once, as one coherent visual whole. And the idea of someone being able to see every single cross-section of a body all at once, brain and guts and everything, laid out all together as if on a flat plane, is a horrifying mental image

#reading flatland #up until the moment where the sphere was like 'i can touch your plane aka your 'insides' without stabbing through your 'exterior' lines' #i was thinking of 4d in terms of time being the 4th dimension #but like. considering the 3d equivalent of being touched on ones plane is so fucked up. #imagine someone seemingly teleports into your house and touches your internal organs without making any cuts to get in there. #and they did not need to teleport to get in there #and bits and pieces of the visitor can be seen at different places across the room. but the pieces are all somehow connected to one whole #like if flatlanders had flat little arms they could have done that to the linelanders. touched multiple spots at once on their line #and held out their arms so it was on both sides of the linelanders vision. #and for us it would be even WORSE because it would Clearly be different parts of something. not just two points. #well i guess they wouldnt be two cross sections they would look like two separate 3d objects. but still #maybe like 2 separate people who may or may not look similar to eachother????? #and even though they can see peoples insides they dont have a way of showing us that?????????? #contemplating the closest possible comparisons to what this square is going through is like. #full blown eldritch body horror.