#is actually the root of all insanity about destiel for me

[hangmanbradshaw]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @urmomsonfire and I figured I should keep going with the writing questions today!!! (thanks kale, love u)

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 17

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 796,198 (do we think I can crack a million in close to a year we'll see)

3. What fandoms do you write for? I'm still living in Top Gun summer so I'll just be vibing here for a while

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

i want to brainwash you into loving me forever (nfl fake dating au)

baby, i'm howlin' for you (wolves & foxes au)

i can't stop you putting roots in my dreamland (rival princes au)

loose lips sink ships all the damn time (pirates au)

Love (Suite Love) (my travlor inspired AU lmao)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try to!! I'm really behind right now because I get really sucked into writing (and life, been very busy with my social calendar at the moment) but eventually I'll go through and catch up. Writing like this is for community, ya know? Engagement? Making friends, being crazy together, it's the vibe. (Plus every time a comment notification dings, an idea angel gets its wings lmao it's my fave part- talking to people)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Unhappy ending? Don't know her. I guess you can make my wish come true just cuz it ends with them deciding to kidnap the president and cyclone being like oh my god

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? it's 2am and i'm cursing your name is pretty stupid sweet but also wanna be your left hand man/iwtby left off prettyyyyyyy sweet

8. Do you get hate on fics? Everyone's always been sooooo sweet.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? *glances at my work from the corner of my eye* yes. just yes.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? My mummy fic has actual mummy characters. But I've written a lot of like inspired ones? Some loose, some closer. One based off the Mummy, one that's a mummy/national treasure crossover LMAO, one off Jurassic Park, one off Twister, one off Beauty & the Beast kinda, one off princess & the frog, one kinda princess diaries 2/how to lose a guy BUT I actually have an insane idea I came up with recently that would be a uhhhhhhh crossover I guess........I'm giggling as I think about it

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I don't think so? I hope not.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? some people have asked! So maybe soon.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? nope! but I love to riff with other writers. i'm way too particular about my own work to co-write probably tbh

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Hangster currently! prev: buddie, destiel, sharpay/gabriella from hsm (leave me alone lmao).

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? if I post I am going to make myself finish but I have some I've never posted that I doubt I'll finish (one's a rivals fake dating destination wedding)

16. What are your writing strengths? I'd say melancholic fluffy humor and banter, others have told me world building and being lowkey emotional

17. What are your writing weaknesses? being concise and angst actually- I struggle with that sometimes

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Amazing when people can do it, but I tend to avoid writing it since I'm not fluent.

19. First fandom you wrote for? High School Musical and then I took a massive break and started with Top Gun again.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? I love all my babies for different reasons but IWTBY & That Little Farm are currently my true loves

Tagging anyone who wants to do this, also @paulmezcal as a welcome to tumblr (no pressure you def don't have to do it haha)

#tag games #writing stuff #i love talking about writing and stories omg

[soullessjack]

see the worst fucking thing ever about babyjack besides it existing entirely is that it’s so embedded into the fandom and how everyone perceives jack that every single personality trait or duo dynamic or headcanon is just a repackaging of seeing him as a baby even when he isn’t being portrayed as one and it’s like. Wow the ableism is never gonna get solved here because it’s taken root in literally all the content made around jack and you can’t even begin to explain it to anyone or ask them to stop because you sound like a pathetic insane cry-wolf when you try to point out how painfully infantilizing these ideas really are if people would just do some examining and try to care about autistic people.

like, again this isn’t even actual babyjack content. it’s canon adult jack but with his entire personality surgically removed and replaced with babyjack’s personality so he’s literally just a manchild who needs everyone to hold his hand and sing beautiful boy to him because I don’t fucking know.

“Jack can’t swear” “Jack orders apple juice and takes sippy cups to bars” “Sam said Nick can burn and Jack said ‘daddy’s hold my sippy cup’ “Jack can’t handle insert scary thing” what fucking show did you watch? did you watch the domestic destiel with their little magic lovebaby who looks just like them and Sam’s there too show? god I don’t even have fucking words for how much this shit genuinely pisses me off

#cal.txt #jack #we really just can’t fucking have anything here isn’t that so cool #spn

[eleonkraken]

Just re-read most of With Understanding again. Man that fic is going to live in its own little corner of my brain forever. It's absolutely, deeply disturbing in so many ways but it's one of the most compelling things I've ever read.

If you've never read it, it's ostensibly a destiel fic but it depicts Dean incredibly uncharitably. I know different readers felt very differently about it, but personally I never once rooted for Dean or a destiel "happy ending" while reading WU.

So the ship isn't part of the appeal at all (even though I think the writer may have wanted people to root for it).

For me the appeal is the depiction of trauma, the unreliable narrator, the outside perspective on the events of Supernatural, the extensive exploration of trauma recovery and the constant discussion of free will.

Like, the scenarios depicted in With Understanding are insane and exaggerated but the central conflict about free will and freedom is so applicable to mundane life. I don't think I ever realized that until this re-read.

Actually can't believe the author deleted it because it's really something to be proud of.

#With Understanding #destiel #fanfic

[castielcommunism]

Hey :) I have a question; do you have any destiel fic recs? Blogs or user that complited lists? Years ago when I was more active in the fandom I saw a lot of "fic recs" categories on peoples blog and there were big fanfics everyone knew (91W, T&S, Not Part of the Plan, Redemption Road etc) but now I'm not in the game and I don't know any of the new "Big Fics" you know D: Thanks for any help

For starters, I have a fic rec list here that you can look through! There are a million fic rec lists out there but I have very specific tastes, so those are all ones I’ve personally read and enjoyed enough to recommend to other people.

As for the Big Fics, there are a lot of those but the ones I recommend are:

So Says The Sword (Season 4 AU where Dean is held captive in the Green Room for a ~2 years while Heaven gets the apocalypse properly set up, and Cas is his guard for the duration of it. This is a must read)

A Complete Kingdom (post-s8 horror fic. This does not have a happy ending and you should mind the tags, but it’s one of the best spn fics I’ve read period, so if you want to read like, “supernatural but it’s good and also actually scary”, that is a very good starting point)

where the weeds take root (post-canon fic set during s12, dean and cas buy a house together and then realise they’re in love. if you want domestic bliss fic it’s a good one)

Put Up Your Dukes (incredibly horny destiel fic. it’s lighthearted and fun and also, I cannot stress this enough, very horny)

Some of the newer, post-Nov 5th fics that I’ve enjoyed and aren't already linked in that fic rec list above are:

r/supernatural (dean posts about his relationship and family problems on Reddit. It’s really funny)

canticles (dean takes cas out on a “friend date” after failing to get him laid. set during Free To Be You And Me. It’s a fun early seasons pining fic)

the doorway to a thousand churches (Cas dealing with Naomi’s programming and brainwashing during s8. VERY GOOD, PLEASE READ)

my heart a compass (this is THE definitive post-15x18 “dean rescues cas from the empty” fic imo. it’s really good and even if you aren't interested in s15 fix-it fics (which I generally am not) I still really recommend reading this)

My Week (I WILL continue to plug this fic because I love it so much and it’s criminally underrated. Sam, Dean, Cas and Jack all keep a bullet journal and write about their weeks. It’s fun and heartwarming and sweet and formatted beautifully. you should read it)

Pillow Talk (nobody is allowed to even look at drowley or call themselves a crowleygirl unless they read this first. Even if you don’t care about drowley you should read this anyway)

a short history of dean and tentacles (I know what you’re thinking. This sounds insane. And it is. But you need to read this. nsfw obviously and read the tags, but I promise you it’s a genuinely good dean character study fic and not just like, weird porn)

Also, all the fics in my AO3 bookmarks are ones I would recommend to people!

The best place to look for fic rec lists in general is @jewishcharliebradbury!

#fic.txt #asks #fic

[crobby]

okay. okay! list of sastiel fic recs let's go bsf <3

the other guardian - LOOK I NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THIS SERIES AND. for good reason. very simply put, there's a year-long period from when dean gets out of hell to when the demons start breaking seals. during that time, sam hopelessly pines and cas learns what love is. major slowburn also written like an actual novel like this is everything to me this is THEE sstiel fic. very long but completely worth the read i will bully u into reading it forever i swear

atrophy - atrophy is like. up there for me with the other guardian seriously. written by @deadmacgyver on tumblr! it's just. like i legit don't know how to explain it in a way that does it justice, the atmosphere this fic has and the moments between sam and cas that scream love and protection in such a way that. god just read it u won't regret it

wrap your roots all around my bones - i just read this yesterday morning i think?? it's all i've been able to think about. the way they're so tender with each other i'm going to cry rn

if you think it's love (it is) - oh i see you sam winchester oh "oh no man it's sad that you've never been on a date let me take u out (AS FRIENDS) we'll have a good time (AS FRIENDS)" i see you. you ain't slick. okay

and each breath you take is a brand new beginning - the "cas just possesses sam sometimes its cool" au !! written by @occasionally-a-bloodfreak on tumblr <3 no but genuinely it's a great oneshot jay when u see this i'm sending hugs mwah

sigh no more - yk i love a good "surprise surprise cas thats called love" fic . anyway new years almost-kisses and also i think there's brief sexual content in the end u can just skip if u want to

table for two - outsider pov, just. warm and sweet and subtle love <3

my blue heaven - the night before sam's saying yes to the lucifer ha haha hahaha :)))

a more profound bond - set in s5, dean pov where like. he gets progressively more confused as sam and cas become better friends thats a shit explanation but i just reread it yesterday and it makes me so. so . <3

in plain sight - humor oneshot they r insane also maybe dont make ur relationship public in a "last words before death" type of situation

some space underneath my skin - okay this. The "soulless sam and cas hooked up in s6" fic. i'm kinda eh about this au but also i love me a "oh no they caught feelings" fic so what can you do. there's no actual sexual content, but there is in the sequel and it just hits u with it be aware sjgjasg

the sun pale as milk - slowburn, it's cas who gets out of purgatory before dean and sam and cas stay together and look for him basically. but no not really and also it's not that simple and they're very. okay idk how to explain it really but ykw. they make my heart hurt i'd never imagined a sastiel fic could make me so mad at them for all the miscommunication. like i've read that in destiel i enjoy it but this ohohohoho

if this is more than u were expecting. i apologize but also nah not really. theres literally more im just tired </3

OH MY GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH??? I ADORE YOU I OWE YOU MY LIFE

#AHHHHH #sastiel #fic #fic recs #mac tag #long post #save #bookmark

[orionsangel86]

15x04 Episode Review - What a Meta Rollercoaster THAT was!

Jensen Ackles directed this. Let that sink in before you read on. Because this means EVERYTHING.

Davy Perez said on Twitter that he had a lot of help with this episode from Bobo, Dabb, Meredith, Even from Jensen and Rob. Which seems pretty clear from me as I was blown away by what I consider a meta masterpiece.

There is a lot to unpack here so let me just jump straight in with my favourite part:

THE REDEEMED FANGIRL AND THE BRONLY GOD

In an episode directed by Jensen Ackles it both astonishes me and pleases me immensely that the strongest and most interesting plot didn’t involve the brothers. Every single scene with Becky and Chuck was a galaxy brain of meta and my head is still buzzing about it. 

**Meta Essay under the cut**

Becky has changed. She has grown up, has gone to therapy, has channelled previously unhealthy behaviour into a stable and successful Etsy business. She is the model fangirl. No longer the source of this shows mockery. Becky shuddered when remembering what she did to Sam. Showing her regret and guilt over her former actions leading the way for this fanbase to forgive and redeem her. Formerly Becky was portrayed as a mockery of those in the fandom who irritated Kripke, now she has grown beyond that dark and hateful corner, has welcomed Castiel into her home as the character whose form appears most often on her shelves. Clearly Becky is a Cas stan now. I bet she ships Destiel in those domestic AU’s she writes on AO3. Only Cas stans and Destiel shippers proclaim “not enough Cas” when referring to the source material after all.

However even though the positive message of the reformed fangirl from obsessive incest fetishist into healthy Cas fan filled me with joy, it wasn’t my top take away moment from these scenes. The entire message of Chuck and Becky’s conversation makes me want to cry tears of joy. After all, it isn’t often your favourite show includes an avatar of yourself arguing with an avatar for the writers - or at least, the villainous arrogant writer who refuses to acknowledge you. 

Becky likes the character drama. Chuck likes the monsters. Becky doesn’t care for the monsters. Chuck brings up the Leviathan (because of course Chuck would enjoy the season that first tried to “go back to the shows roots” and reduce the format back to just “Sam and Dean alone on the road”). Chuck tells her that fanfiction doesn’t count, but our strong willed fangirl avatar tells him “writings writing!” and damn right you are Becky. It counts.

Then Becky goes and blows my mind by speaking aloud in my favourite show the kind of things that I think and talk about every time this show brings out another generic MOTW episode:

“If I had to give one note, the jeopardy Chuck, its feeling a little thin. No stakes. It’s fun to hear the boys voices but a story is only as good as its villain and these villains are just not feeling very dangerous. Not to mention there’s no classic rock, no one even mentions Cas, the climax is a little stale. The boys tied up again while we get the villains monologue which frankly isn’t one of your best. A hint of originality wouldn’t… hurt.”

(x)

At this point I might as well be on the floor because holy shit Becky is me. When did the writers become so very aware of their fanbase? It’s taken them 15 years, but they are finally here. Chuck is fuming of course. How dare a fangirl criticise his work, so instead of taking her advice on board, he plays up. He gets mean.

Chuck’s perfect SPN ending is tragic and in some weird insanely meta way this feels like a message from the writers telling us that they hear us because Becky once again says what we have ALL been screaming on Twitter about a tragic ending:

“It’s awful. Horrible! It’s hopeless! You can’t do this to the fans! What you did to Dean? What you did to Sam?”

I keep thinking that the SPN writers have made Chuck into a parody of the GoT writers. Chuck is arrogant, egotistical, and completely incapable of taking criticism. He went to Becky hoping she would fluff up his ego, but she shot him down and unfortunately, he destroyed her for it. 

The message here though is one of hope. Everything about Chuck is framed as negative, as villainous - this includes the tragic ending. Therefore if there is one thing I am practically certain of after this episode it’s that the actual finale will subvert Chuck’s vision. We will not be getting a tragic death ending to the show.

The other thing I can’t quite believe that the writers have done here, in an episode directed by Jensen is the shaaaade. I’m honestly feeling a little sorry for the bibro’s right now. Because the writers have been shading them HARD this season. Chuck has proven himself to be one of them. Imagine having the writers see you and the things you like about the show, and make you into the actual villain? I mean... ouch.

Reasons Chuck is a Bibro

He has tunnel vision on Sam and Dean (ignores Castiel completely)

He is all about the MOTW episodes. Doesn’t pay attention to depth of character

He clearly enjoyed season 7 MOTW brother only season

He believes a tragic brother only ending would be loved by the fans

He wants a dark tragic ending

When Becky recommends he write something else, he moans that he only likes Sam and Dean and only wants to write about them.

He is arrogant, egotistical and doesn’t listen to criticism.

(this is technically a crack intermission to an otherwise serious meta post but ADMIT IT there is truth to this crack!)

SAM AND DEAN - CHUCKS PUPPETS?

Whilst Becky faces Chuck and makes all our meta writer hearts pound with excitement, the other main story was a rather generic MOTW episode. But wasn’t that the whole point? What a genius twist on a MOTW this episode was. We all know the formula, so overdone now in the show that it has grown tiresome. Yet to have that tiresome format called out in the very episode that... includes... that...format... well, that’s gotta be one of the most meta things this show has ever done. I’m in awe. 

Sam and Dean investigate the mysterious death of a cheerleader at Beaverdale high school (and even though I don’t watch Riverdale even I can see how this school is a blatant nod to that terrible show #sorrynotsorry). It starts off pretty boring and normal. Sam and Dean do their thing, they wear the suits and pretend to be feds. They suspect Veronica (again Riverdale fans are probably enjoying this) but realise that she can’t be their vamp. The boys seem quite lost as to who is responsible... until Chuck starts writing that is. Then suddenly a random car driving past the crime scene on CCTV is enough for them to enter someones house with a machete. It’s a sloppy MOTW storyline, but this seems intentional IMO. From the moment Sam and Dean are back in their lumberjack chic and storming the family home to accuse the father of being the vamp, something feels off - or it did to me anyway. 

In fact, as this was all playing out right at the moment that Becky critiqued Chuck’s writing, it felt as if she was critiquing the very MOTW hunt that we were watching, at least from that point onwards. 

Suddenly we are back in Chuck’s world and he’s made it dark and tragic. 

The son in this nuclear family is Jack. unwillingly monstrous, innocent and guilty at the same time. The father, so desperate and self sacrificial for his child - heartbreakingly Castiel:

“You don’t have children do you, because if you did you would know that to see your child in pain, rips your heart out, and you’d know that you’d do anything. You’d die for them.”

The mother, wide eyed, armed and dangerous - Clearly Dean:

“Or kill for them.”

The son plays his part perfectly. Chuck be proud:

“I killed someone that I loved” 

“I’m a monster” 

Compare this to Jack in 14x20 saying to Dean as he stares down the barrel of the gun “You were right. I am the monster.”

But we as the audience know that this situation is wrong. There is no real monster here other than Chuck. The boy is a victim just as Jack was. The parents forced into desperate circumstances out of love. They may be the stereotypical white middle class American family made of privilege and self obsession, but what they do is still purely out of love. It is a situation they are forced into by Chuck, just as he forced the TFW family into the same situation at the end of last season, and we are made to look on in horror as what happened in the season 14 finale happens again, and yet Sam and Dean barely blink or question their actions. This is the strangest part of all. 

Sam’s reaction is interesting, because he knows this is wrong. He knows they shouldn’t be killing this kid. He can see the mirror, the repeated story here. He can TELL that something isn’t right... but he doesn’t speak up, doesn’t protest, doesn’t stop it. 

Dean doesn’t question a damn thing. He plays his part perfectly. It’s haunting. Chuck almost had his clutches in Dean before, but this time his hold is tight. 

Look at how this was framed and tell me this whole thing isn’t Chuck’s doing?

In both scenes Sam looks on in horror knowing that it isn’t right. But this time no one protests, and Chuck get’s his horrific ending.

Chuck banishes Becky and her family, and arrogantly proclaims that he “can do anything, I’m a writer” and the next scene cuts to Sam and Dean in the car ready for the classic Bro Melodrama moment as to be expected of all standard MOTW, but this time, it feels like they are reading from a script - at least at first:

Dean: “Well that was an interesting one.”

Sam: “Yeah. What Henry did. We’d have done the same thing. For Jack, if we’d had the chance.”

Dean: “Yeah. Yeah we would. Look man I get it. I get it we have lost way way too much. And its hard enough to feel like just cashing up. I felt like that. After Chuck back at the crypt. But you know what brought me back, you did. You saying that what we do still matters.

That’s why I wanted to drag us out here, to work the case, to save lives. Ya know. Because it is, it’s a crap job. We do the ugly thing so people can live happy.”

Sam: “Lucky them.”

Dean: “Yeah lucky them.”

Sam: “But it doesn’t change a thing. Ya know you still do the job. We don’t do it for us. We do it for Jack, for mom, for Rowena. We owe it to everyone whose ever given a damn about us to keep putting one foot in front of the other. No matter what.

Hey man like you said, now that Chucks gone. We’re finally on our own. We are finally free to… move on. Ya know.”

Sam: “Yeah I dunno I dunno if I can move on. I can’t forget any of them. I still think about Jessica. I can’t just let that go.”

Dean: “No man that’s not what I’m talking about.”

Sam: “I know I know I’m sorry I know. What I’m saying is that I don’t feel free. What we’ve done, what we’ve lost, right now that is what I’m feeling and sometimes its, its like I can’t even breath. Maybe tomorrow, maybe ill feel better in the morning.”

Dean: “And what if you don’t?”

Sam: “I dunno.”

First of all, would they REALLY have done the same thing for Jack? Kidnapped and bled an innocent girl to feed him? Because I don’t think they would have. Then Dean goes into a monologue that we have heard over and over again and it feels like he is reading from a script. It’s like going through the motions. We are back in Chuck’s worlds. There is no freedom here. Even the lack of Cas mention which we can argue is because Dean is burying those feelings and in denial, even so it feels jarring in the episode where the lack of Cas mention was already called out directly by Becky, so it only further adds to how disjointed this whole scene is. Like this scene is pure wank fodder for Bibro Chuck. Quite frankly, it is. But this time it feels like the writers are aware of this and are doing it purposely to MAKE it feel off.

The one time the script seems to trip is when Dean mentions moving on - triggering Cas’s words from last week, which he struggles with, and then Sam protests and actually opens up to how he is really feeling. The brother’s are back in Chuck’s maze, and this time it seems like he has made it impossible to deviate from the path - but I do wonder if Sam is going to be harder to control because of the connection...

The final shot of the episode only seems to further confirm that the Winchesters are once again being manipulated by Chuck. They are his puppets again, and this time it may even be worse:

There is a huge sense of foreboding with this final shot. The shaking funko pops seemingly in fear of what Chuck plans to do. The two feathers behind them indicating their missing guardian angel (as Chuck continues to neglect Cas’s role in classic Bronly form) the tree indicating a garden? Heaven? and the grey paper with the Winchester tattoo potentially the gravestone that Chuck visualised? 

Whatever Chuck has planned, it appears to have played out in some form in this episode. Whilst I don’t think that the boys have been completely robbed of their free will, it is safe to say that they are back to playing by Chuck’s script, but this time with the confidence of men who think they are free. 

CASTIEL AS THE CATALYST FOR FREE WILL

For years now, I have been one of those annoying people irritating Cas fans by being irrationally happy when Cas isn’t in key episodes because I can see him so clearly in the negative space that his absence basically forms its own overshadowing presence instead. 

When I have rambled on about negative space in the past, it is almost always connected to MOTW episodes following some big DeanCas drama, and on the surface level, people have moaned about how the Cas mention wasn’t enough, or Dean hasn’t acknowledged him or something like that.

Well, this episode is no exception. But this episode IS different in that this episode textually calls out the lack of Cas blatantly within it’s script. Which is just some next level self awareness from this show that I am amazed by.

The entire first three episodes of this season spiralled around this DeanCas tension and drama which us Destiel shipping meta writers could barely believe we were watching since it is practically unheard of for this show to set its emotional A plot around Dean and Cas rather than Sam and Dean. But that is what Dabb has done. When that tension came to its climax in 15x03′s final scene, it was well speculated that 15x04 would understate the DeanCas break up due to the episodes being filmed out of order and therefore Jensen not knowing exactly the impact of the break up when he filmed his scenes for this episode. 

Well, we were certainly right that it was understated, with Dean basically burying his feelings in denial and work and food and drink. Until Chuck started writing and therefore took control back of the script, Dean was eating or drinking in practically every single scene. As he is well known for using food and alcohol has coping mechanisms when spiralling into a dark mindset. Other than these key clues, Dean doesn’t mention Cas once. So we can speculate that he hasn’t told Sam what happened, and probably made up some excuse about Cas leaving so that Sam wasn’t concerned. Though no doubt we will find out the extent of what Sam knows fairly soon.

On a surface level, DeanCas shippers and Cas fans have a right to be somewhat upset by this lack of acknowledgement of Cas, even though it is perfectly in character for Dean to bury his feelings in denial and distractions. But beneath the surface this meta masterpiece of an episode was so full to bursting with Cas it left me very happy. Lets go through the key Cas positive areas:

1. The AU world vision of Sam’s that opens the episode is dark and depressing and indicates a world in which Sam's demon blood obsession got the better of him, which was a season 4 story arc (which we all remember as Cas’s introductory season), and yet Benny appears as Dean’s right hand man, a season 8 story arc founded in Purgatory (which we all relate heavily to Cas). Castiel is mysteriously absent from this vision though, even though the two key story lines here in the OG world heavily revolved around Cas. The question has to be asked, in fact the entire vision demands we ask it, just as Becky points out later: Where is Cas? This AU world is sure to appear later in the show, and I have a feeling Castiel’s absence will be explained.

2. Becky’s house - The crew clearly had a lot of fun filling this set with fan made merchandise (and what a wonderful way to reward your fanbase by including their creations in the show itself?). As a Cas girl my eagle eyes were mainly looking for any Cas merch and I was not disappointed. In fact there wasn’t a single scene in Becky’s house where a Cas figure of some kind wasn’t in frame. Whether that was Jensen’s decision or not, it makes me very happy. I talk here about the specific arrangement of Cas merch paired up with Dean merch which blatantly proves Becky is a Destiel shipper). In fact, Cas looms in the background in every scene until Cas sits down at the end to write his tragic ending when the camera pans to the Winchester funko pops bobbing like puppets. Cas is jarringly absent from that scene which only further indicates that he has been overlooked and is therefore still free of Chuck’s manipulations.

3. “No one even mentions Cas” - Obviously this was the line that pulls everything else together. For this to be said in an episode in which the very complaint actually occurs is a whole other level of self awareness and by including it the writer is of course reminding the audience to question this very thing. Like with the first scene, like with every moment that Sam and Dean are on screen together stubbornly not mentioning Cas or the extremely dramatic emotional break up scene at the end of the last episode, this line links everything together and forces the audience to keep Cas at the forefront of their mind.

4. The Bro Melodrama scene - As I mentioned above, this whole scene feels like the brothers are reading from a script and going through the motions but particularly Dean, whose stubborn refusal to mention Cas when he says “ We do it for Jack, for mom, for Rowena. We owe it to everyone whose ever given a damn about us to keep putting one foot in front of the other. No matter what.” it feels so intentional that they have left him out here. Thanks to that one line from Becky, the lack of Cas mention is impossible to ignore. He is so present in the negative space that its like a brick to the face. There is no way that there isn’t an agenda here regarding Castiel.

5. Castiel as the self sacrificing father - The second most glaringly obvious mirror in the episode after the son that mirrors Jack, the father of the vampire boy was far too ready to be killed by the Winchesters if it meant saving his sons life. Neither Sam nor Dean ever willingly offered themselves up for Jack, but we as the audience know all too well that Cas did in one of the most heartbreakingly emotional moments of Season 14. In an episode where the Winchesters stubbornly refuse to mention Cas (though Dean’s drinking on the job and overeager consumption of meaty food are a good indicator of his repressed feelings), Cas forces his presence on them anyway. It is a clear indicator of how close and important Cas is to the story that it is impossible for the boys to ever really forget about him, and I suspect that this will start to eat at Dean very soon.

6. Chuck overlooks the most powerful player - What ties in everything I have mentioned above already about Cas in the negative space, is Chuck. Because the whole point of this episode is that whilst he argues with Becky - the avatar for an inclusive healthy fandom that clearly adores Castiel and surrounds themselves in his image - we are left watching a stale and relatively boring MOTW episode where the Winchesters really do act like nothing more than shallow two dimensional bronly versions of themselves - because that’s what Chuck forces them to be. Chuck, who sits down and types with his Sam and Dean puppets metaphorically shaking with fear as they are condemned to live under his pen once again. It isn’t an accident that in a house surrounded with Cas merch no matter where you look, the one time his image isn’t in frame is that all important last shot - an indication that whilst Sam and Dean may now be under Chuck’s control, Castiel is not. Therefore Castiel’s importance in freeing the boys from Chuck’s villainous tragic ending becomes elevated. This episode symbolically makes Castiel the catalyst for true free will - after all, Castiel himself finally took control of his life and his mental health last week when he chose to walk away. In an episode where his presence in the negative space couldn’t be more obvious - he is the metaphorical elephant in the room - I can’t help but wonder just what role he has to play in Chuck’s vision, because right now it seems Chuck has simply forgot about him. A terribly foolish thing to do given everything Castiel has proven to be capable of.

OVERALL

As a quick summary, I’ll say I loved this episode and everything about it. Even the puppet bronly Winchesters because they were so clearly framed as being wrong. It’s such a hopeful episode, that indicates a hopeful non tragic inclusive TFW ending at least. Chuck is the villain and he will be beaten in the end. Dean and Cas will reunite and it will be the kind of scene that will rip all our hearts out in its emotional investment. Jensen Ackles directed an episode that threw major shade at the Bronly fandom corners, that celebrated TFW inclusivity through the reformed healthy successful fangirl Becky. That villainised the dark tragic brother only ending. This was a thoroughly validating and satisfying episode for me as a meta writer to watch. It has elevated my hope for the rest of the season, and following the incredibly emotional Destiel break up scene that held the focus of the last episode, I can’t stop myself from feeling joy just knowing that right now, everything that I watch this show for, all the things I adore about it, are the same things the writers of this show enjoy and are making the focal points for the series.

This isn’t a show for people that only care about seasons 1-3. This isn’t a show for people who hate Cas. This isn’t a show for people who fetishise the dark, depressing tragic game of thrones style brother ending. This is a show for people like me. Who actually enjoy it and celebrate it and can’t wait to see what happens next.

#Supernatural #spn meta #episode review #15x04 #15x04 episode review #my meta #spn speculation #season 15 #spn spoilers #becky rosen #becky the reformed fangirl #chuck is a bibro #castiel #castiel in the negative space #spn endgame speculation #spn engame positive #in which the show and I throw shade at the bronlys #and i am living for it #sorry not sorry #winchester brothers

[charlie-minion]

The biggest bad to ever bad

Supernatural 14x20 is going to be marked in my head as one of the best season finales of television ever! It’s not because of the quality of the production, though; it’s because of the potential it opened for a fantastic final season of such a long-lasting show. There are so many things I want to talk about (God & the Winchesters, Castiel and Destiel), but I think I will have to write separate posts for each because I don’t want this to get extremely long.

Let’s talk about God and the Winchesters first, shall we?

After 14x20, everything seems to indicate that God is the big bad for season 15, right? In fact, we might even say that God has been the big bad ALL ALONG. Right? RIGHT? Yeah, well… about that…

NO, my dear friends, God is not the big bad on Supernatural, and I’m gonna tell you why that is my opinion.

Disclaimer: This post will include a lot of life philosophies that may or may not resonate with what you believe in. If you think I’m talking bullshit, that’s fine! Just please don’t waste time attacking me or my post in any way because I won’t engage in any type of hateful behavior.  

With that being said, I need to emphasize the beauty orchestrated by Andrew Dabb (showrunner and writer of the finale). He turned the Supernatural universe into a huge metaphor for our own very real world (nothing new if you really think about it). BUT, he also made Chuck the manifestation of the God many people believe exists IRL.

“None of this would have happened without you”, Dean tells John Winchester at the start of the recap. Those words feel ominous now, considering Dean said them to his father but they could as easily be directed to the father of all creation, God himself (or Chuck, as he prefers to be called).  

None of what has happened in 14 years of Supernatural would have happened without Chuck. That’s an undeniable truth, but that doesn’t mean everything has been entirely his fault.

He’s a writer, and writers lie. We were told that in 14x20, but I think Chuck was telling the truth about something in particular:

“You guys know me. I’m hands-off. I built the sandbox… you play in it. You want to fight Leviathans? Cool. You got that. You want to go up against the… What was it? The ‘British Men of Letters’? Okay. Little weak, but okay.”

Chuck created this world with everything in it, and then he “left”. Although, he never truly left. From the beginning he’s been “everywhere and nowhere, to the edge of the universe and beyond”. The thing is that he’s most of the times HANDS-OFF.

He didn’t create other beings to be inferior. “Existence is all about balance”, he said when trying to explain why the Equalizer didn’t have any bullets.

“This doesn’t so much fire bullets as it sends a wave of multi-dimensional energy across a perfectly balanced quantum link between whoever’s shooting it and whoever they’re shooting at.”

Why is that line relevant? Ohhhh because if we read a little about quantum physics, we’ll know that we humans are energy. We all are. Actually, everything that exists in this world is energy. There are some philosophies where the concept of God goes beyond what religion offers. Some people don’t use the word “God”, but they prefer to use the word “Source” because there is a source of energy, and we all are interconnected through that energy that we all share. In a way, we are extensions of Source Energy, and that’s why we all can be considered divine.

If we dig a little into that philosophy, we find out that the human journey in a lifetime is to ascend in consciousness. We have a conscious and subconscious mind, and there’s science to back up that our subconscious runs the show most of the time. (Watch this video if you’re at all interested). It’s thanks to it that we make quick decisions during times of crisis and emergency, and it’s thanks to both our conscious and subconscious mind that we create our own reality. Unfortunately, we are EXTREMELY UNAWARE OF THE PROGRAMMING IN OUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND, so the reality that we observe is not exactly pretty, because we tend to create that which we fear the most. We keep repeating patterns over and over until we become aware of what’s going on (or we die and never become aware, too bad).   

In real life, the God that many people believe in certainly built the sandbox and left us to play in it and do whatever we want. That God or Source is HANDS-OFF for real, because we are made of the same energy, so we have creative power, too, whether we understand/believe it or not. The less aware we are, the more likely we are to believe THINGS HAPPEN TO US.

There’s always a villain outside of ourselves: our parents, our partners, our friends, our coworkers or classmates, our neighbors, that random person who stole from us or who said nasty things about us. We all have our own Leviathans, Michaels, Lucifers, and some villains in our life just as pathetic as Asmodeus or the British Men of Letters. The point is that when we are NOT aware of OUR OWN POWER OF CREATION, we are at the mercy of our subconscious, thinking that terrible things will continue to happen, over and over.

So, going back to Supernatural, Chuck came back in 14x20 with a special gun, and one of the names he gave to it was EQUALIZER. Seriously??!! Later in the ep, when Sam shot God with that gun, he shot himself. THAT’S SO SYMBOLIC I CAN’T EVEN! Don’t you see this? If we keep talking about Source of energy (instead of “god”) and understand that all beings are made of energy even if we have a material body, we get to understand the metaphor found in the Bible that states we should love God and we should love our neighbors as we love ourselves. WE ARE ALL ONE. I mean, I can plug two or three appliances into one same outlet and even though each appliance serves a different purpose, the energy that keeps them “alive” is the same.

We build an ego to create a false sense of self, but we’re all one. While we’re unaware of this, we think of God as that powerful being, outside of ourselves, who controls everything and we think that we’re at his mercy. We pray and we think that when things go well, God is blessing us, but when things go wrong, he’s punishing us or he has abandoned us. When truth be told, we have been creating our own reality ALL ALONG thanks to our stupid programming.

The Winchesters have been repeating the same mistakes over and over. Their programming is filled with “GOOD THINGS NEVER HAPPEN. I DON’T DESERVE GOOD THINGS”. That’s been the case for all of them. They have claimed that everything they’ve done has been out of love, to protect their family, but that’s just crap. The love they have felt has NEVER been healthy; it’s been rooted in the fear of loss. Mary made a deal because she couldn’t bear to lose John. John made a deal because he couldn’t lose Dean. Dean made a deal because he couldn’t lose Sam. And their codependent love brought all sorts of fucked-up consequences. Don’t even get me started on the way John raised his children as a result of not being able to accept the loss of his wife. Or don’t get me started on the programming running in Mary’s head as a result of the way she was raised in the hunting life. I mean, we could spend hours and hours discussing why Mary was desperate for a “normal life”, but probably thought that she didn’t deserve it; that she was being selfish for wanting happiness when the world needed saving. How ironic that her two sons inherited the same fears, the same subconscious programming!

So, NO… God is NOT the villain. THE VILLAIN HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE WINCHESTERS THEMSELVES. (Just as in our life, we are the main character and the villain in our own story). Thinking that God is the villain is the easy way out. That’s putting responsibility for the good and the bad outside of ourselves, and that’s bullshit. The toxicity has been part of Dean and Sam’s lives since forever and they need to be aware of it. They have always had a choice, but they were unable to make the healthiest one at the time. ‘Shoot first, ask questions later’, ‘Kill all the monsters’, ‘We do what we always do, we fight to bring our loved ones back’.

That’s not love. That’s not growth. And in writing, that’s not character development.

Next season, the Winchesters will try to fight God, of course. They will most likely try to kill him. But I can tell you now, one day after the season 14 finale, that they won’t be able to. What they will understand at the end of season 15 is that they always had a choice; that the Earth will never be completely saved because it doesn’t want to be saved (each person creates their own reality, so how can they save people who are unconsciously sabotaging/destroying themselves?). It’s NOT THEIR RESPONSIBILITY TO SAVE EVERYONE. IT NEVER HAS BEEN. That’s something they have taken upon themselves and it’s insane, unrealistic, and extremely arrogant of them.

Chuck himself had to show up to push the Winchesters enough to realize that they have been repeating patterns for a long time and that it’ll end when they decide it’s time to end. When they become aware of the toxic beliefs that took them to where they are now. When they realize that the only thing they need to get their happy ending is to admit they want that (not a blaze of glory style ending) and to stop being afraid of it or guilty about wanting it.

Good things do happen. What’s the matter? You don’t think you deserve to be saved?

Chuck is just a mirror for the Winchesters. If our boys think that Chuck is the villain, then sooner or later they will realize how responsible they have been, too. I’ll be looking forward to season 15 and, most of all, to the series finale. For now, I’m gonna be in my corner, feeling confident that our boys will have the ending they deserve –the one they’ll get once they allow themselves to follow their heart.  

#supernatural #14x20 #spn spoilers #spn meta #winchester brothers #chuck #spn speculation #season 15 #welcome to the end