#im very scared for my life

[feeniest]

this is my first time posting art on tumblr i drew this just for the occassion...........please take care of me..............

#im very scared for my life #im not sure how tagging works so LOL #naruto #naruto fanart #ino yamanaka #BLEH i guess thats it #like and subscribe #yuri #my art

[mewtwo24]

Not to be That Guy but like.

Am I the only one that can't stop thinking about how Tianlang-Jun says about Luo Binghe that he pretends to be cold-hearted like his mother. The hint of fondness there, the heartache in that utterance.

Like it drives me absolutely insane. Imagining her putting on a front of strength, cold and driven and unrelenting. Why does TLJ say that about her. Did she secretly look for solutions that meant reconciling with demons instead of hurting them when her sect wasn't looking? (I wonder this because I feel like his weird fondness for SQQ would lowkey track if it's connected to the woman he once loved.) Did he mean that she was tasked with basically assassinating him and she fell in love with him instead (re: failed step one)? Did he mean that she was fond and doting in her own way (e.g. conceding he was attractive, paying for his exploits and humoring him)? Did he mean that, like LBH, she thought that power would be the thing to protect her--and that it was disguising a person who was deeply and privately wounded? All four????? I don't need sleep I need a n s w e r s

Did she know about the Huanhua Palace Master's skeevy ass intentions before she met TLJ? Or did those only come to significant light after she fell in love with TLJ? Is that why she never anticipated that level of betrayal, because initially she had no intention of being with anyone romantically? And HHPM just assumed she would be under his thumb forever?? Was she furious at her own indiscretion or did she try to use the pregnancy as a bargaining chip, a way to try to stop the immortals of Cang Qiong Mountain from attacking TLJ (plus the bonus of marriage entrapment no takesies backsies this is where LBH gets it from)? Did she try to use that claim on her to dissuade HHPM from his covetous advances, framing herself as tainted so that she could finally escape? Did she dream of a life by TLJ's side, far away from Cang Qiong Mountain?

Like. Literally every single permutation of what this could mean guts me to hell. Do you ever just cry about tianxi because I--[loud bawling noises]

#svsss #tianxi #tianlang jun #su xiyan #like this shit keeps me awake at night #i'm trying to put fic ideas together and every time i go back to that line i just #find myself trying to parse and hone out su xiyan's mannerisms/personality #zzl's descriptions help a great deal but i also love that they're limited in the sense that #1. zzl was clearly scared shitless of/disconcerted with her LMFAO #2. he was suspicious of her (as a cultivator fundamentally) and its fascinating that TLJ did not seem to share this suspicion at all #or one could argue tlj just didn't care beyond his attraction and glee being around her jkahglfdskjhsfkhjg #there is also the hilarious implication that part of what turned tlj on so much about sx is the fact that she could prbly kill him #tlj really said 'i love a woman who can and WILL kick my ass' #'none of that soft power seduction shit manhandle me or nothing' #like he always believed deep down--or at the very least wanted to believe--that she loved both him and lbh dearly #i'm not usually the fix-it fic type but the Way I Need To See Su Xiyan Destroy Huanhua Palace Master's Entire Life. #i just want sx and her boytoy to live happily ever after is that so wrong? #i also think of that person (im so sorry tumblr user i dont rmr who u are at the minute) that said there had to be trust between tlj and sx #because YES. ABSOLUTELY. I AGREE. AND I WANT IT FOR ME #don't mind me just the usual descent into madness anytime i think too hard about svsss #i need to outline damn you airplane and your refusal to expand on LBH's juicy ass backstory #ill never forgive the chinese (joke)

[radiowav3]

this might’ve been funnier in my head Idek 💀

#spring semester is COMING im so SCARED shivering in my timbers literally at this very moment #our life #our life beginnings & always #cove holden #gb patch #olba cove #olba baxter #our life baxter #baxter ward #our life mc #our life jeremy

[babydarkstar]

so many griddlehark doomers on this website. smh my head…….theyre doomed by fate AND the narrative to be intrinsically intertwined no matter what. i cannot conceive of a finished locked tomb series where theyre not lying dead in each other’s arms or existing together in some fugue state of unbeing. not even death can separate the lesbians that scratch each other bloody and then cry in each other’s arms. they have been fated to orbit one another literally since their conception. one flesh one end, bitch.

#also harrow literally lobotomized to forget gideon and she still couldnt in the end #anyways i often think abt the whole #‘i gave you my whole life and you didnt even want it’ #and the thing is like. yeah gideon. she didnt want it because she never wanted to lose YOU who was attached to it #you who she just bonded with. has had a very tumultuous girlbestfriend situationship with #when i think abt how young they are i fucking scream #this is why i hate john gaius. insane man. kill him to death alecto #tlt #griddlehark #tlt spoilers #anyways. thinking about the saddest girl in the whole world tonight :( #this is a john gaius HATE account all my homies HATE john gaius #anyways. why is everybody so so scared that theyre going to have a terrible endgame #baby theyve already been falling through a terrible endgame thru the duration of their entire existence #i will say. if harrowhark ends up with anybody else i’ll have to off myself #i support womens wrongs but ianthe can go be wrong somewhere far away from harrow #im about to go through the entire series again so i can screenshot and prove why im right about this #theres a narrative thread to follow #and never once have i been afraid of them not finding their way back to each other #the thing is like. above everything. these girls exist to orbit each other #gideon thinking harrow is her past when harrow has always been her present and her future #harrow thinking gideon’s death will be her undoing #because to harrow. gideon is unable to die. she WOULDNT die for so long #and when she found something to die for. she went to it with her whole being #but heres the thing. one flesh one end is more than just becoming one body and dying one death #idk im incoherent i need to talk abt this in a post instead of tags #i will. soon

[addictivities]

oh

#study #listen ive been having like a very chaotic time trying to balance life and work and excersie and art and it’s very hard sometimes #I would like to have had opened commissions a few weeks ago but im scared im just going to be too stressed to actually perfom correctly doi #doing them so I haven’t really opened yet #im not sure if there’s any of you guys waiting or if it’s even ok for me to like take my time to figure it out and like actually rest a #little bit #anyway here’s the situation #I honestly feel like this

[eskiinox]

Hi there!! We just became mutuals (which I'm amazed by, this feels like being mutuals with a god) and I'd like you to know I love your hfth fan art!! This is a relatively small fandom, so you are doing the lords work here!! And if its not too much trouble, can I request a still-attached-to-the-piano Percy doodle? No worries if you don't want to, I'm just happy we're mutuals!! ✨️💕

AWEWDIHEFUO THANK YOU SO MUCH AND THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST <33 !!!!!!!!! you are always the nicest ever I love being mutuals with you :DDD HERE IS YOUR PERCY!!!!!!

#PERCYCYYY #love you percy #NOW AT. 135. #starcrossed gods ended my life #and im very scared #for whatever is going to happen next #eskidoodle #eskiart #hfth #hfth fanart #hello from the hallowoods #i drew him alive and happy the other day #here is him dead and miserable #hi broocks

[realbeefman]

i'm a cis woman, but in the past few years i've developed a habit of headcanoning any male character i relate to as a trans women, beginning a fic trying to explore that, and then miserably falling short as i can never figure out how to end the story. i've recently joined a new fandom and started my most recent attempt at writing this ever-elusive character interpretation i've been trying to explain for years. and it occurs to me that maybe the reason i keep trying to interpret these characters i relate to as women and failing to, is because i'm trying to project the wrong experience. because i think that conclusion i can never fully bring myself to write isn't one about coming to terms with womanhood and embracing that identity, but about coming to terms with being a man.

so tldr im a trans man and this is a coming out post.

#shaking a little bit writing this but like. i dont know. #ive felt. alone a lot and ive been very scared of actually doing anything to make myself happy for a lot of my life #and ive felt a lot of shame about particularly. i dont know. #i feel a lot of shame in general #but about my gender. about feeling like i cant transition because i dont want to do it the way you see in media #and that its cool for other people to be gnc and trans and present however they want but #that itd be wrong for me. that id be faking #and i dont know i think im tired of running from it #im acting like this is some terrible truth. like this is an unspeakable evil i would inflict on the world by doing something that could mak #me happy. make me feel comfortable #i dont want that shame anymore #i never deserved it #anyways. i like the name angus. please call me angus from now on although autumn is actually still fine i do fw that name. always have #but i need to say this and put it out into the world and not take it back #this is my experience. this is my starting point. and fanfic and writing have been a big part of that #anyways. shoutout to #james wilson #most recent blorbo ive tried to trans the gender of. i think ill be able to finish this fic though lol. #trans #coming out #fandom #fanfic #personal #queer #lgbtqia

[possamble]

realizing im kind of a weirdo about laios and marcille

#possramble #ignore this im just babbling but #the thing is that like. i don't ship laios and marcille together. their relationship is so so important to me in that laios comphets himsel #and THINKS that he might be in love with her but he isn't and that's my insane obsession #platonic soulmates for real but they're so sweet together that i fully expect them to be shipped together #like i get it. that's almost the appeal for me. if dungeon meshi were any other series there'd be an epilogue where they get married #convention dictates that they're meant to be together as the male protagonist and his beloved female deuteragonist #but dungeon meshi DOESNT do that and i love it so fucking much they're the comphet besties ever for my strange little brain #like if i ever did an arranged marriage au it would absolutely be laios and marcille having a platonic political marriage and then just #the most insane mutual pining with marcille and falin while laios and marcille struggle their way into becoming best friends #the imagery of the king and his beautiful court mage being tender to each other and everyone thinking they're in love is like catnip to me #like yeah they'd be like that and have no idea people think they should be together and the subversion makes me so obsessed #the more people ship them romantically. the more i enjoy their platonic dynamic it's like some sort of weird comphet fetishism idk #people think they're in love and im outside the window like YES... YES!!! #but also the second i see stuff of them kissing on the mouth or fucking im like oh god no i went too deep in here i gotta get out #don't wanna see that. i'll go feral over the idea of laios and marcille being arm-in-arm like king and queen but they would not fuck. #i want marcille to be his default comphet beard and dance partner/plus one at official royal events but they're not kissing. #she's there on his arm because he's scared of the other noble women tryna get him and being a baby about it #and people see them muttering to each other and laughing and generally being very sweet and think that they're dating but they're not. #she's actually covered in hickies from falin underneath her dress and is gonna get dragon dicked right after the party is over #like she's in her bedroom and falin's helping her take her ridiculous dress off while listening to her complain about politics #and falin is the person she goes home to the person she falls asleep to and wakes up with #they're a triad of utter devotion to each other but only farcille's side of the triangle is romantic #it's almost like an open secret because they're not trying to hide it at all but people assume and are surprised to find out #like people are so right about her relationship with the toudens but with the siblings' roles switched #love of her life & irreplaceable life companion. does anyone get it #anyway. i don't know what's wrong with me #it bothers me that they're not the undisputed most popular het ship for marcille on ao3 #it's unnatural. marcille being paired with any other man should be a fringe case.

[todayisafridaynight]

like a dragon ishin, just a week away

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku ishin #yakuza series #like a dragon ishin #masato arakawa #yoshitaka mine #hijikata toshizo #katsu rintaro #snap sketches #FINALLY the possibility of my faves killing each other is real #i mean. **spoilers spoilers spoilers** #is it spoilers if its history. #anyways FINALLY they can kill each other #all my funny masato v mine thoughts now have grounds to exist #ALSO SORRY THIS IS THE ONLY THING I CAN DRAW. this and. and neko aoki. #life is a highway and brother there are trucks all around me i am very scared and boxed in but im still driving ig #i hope everyone knows i completely forgot what dialogue i wrote and now im rereading it and chortling #hehe seme n. #i am five years old.

[baby-xemnas]

a breed of guy

(they couldnt be more different)

#ill love gin forever...best boy...if noone got him i got him #law can keep winning his popularity contests #my art #gin one piece #law #one piece #add: looking at refs (my own old art lol) and smiling cuz gin's nose have been broken many times #hes had so many broken bones that healed in less than optimal conditions #law is so well kept its not even fair to compare #i love thinking about gin as very sick guy. i so rarely do this but that is him to me. #remember i said i dont want law to keep spots on his skin? #well thats absolutely different for gin to me he is gonna suffer from effects of that poisoning for the rest of his life #he never had proper care #he is just broken all over from a real shitty life he lived. but hes the most stubborn beat up dog there is #he's never gonna die no matter how much blood he coughs up and scares the shit out of sanji with it #im using my personal familiarity with lung issues and blasting them on gin #i never do this fr. he's very special

[squorttle-pox]

I would just like to aggressively kindly remind fans that harassing other fans, cosplayers, or actors in ANY WAY is totally uncool.

#hazbin hotel #but it applies to all fandoms!! #in this case tho im referencing how ppl go after anyone #mentioning or liking the character (not personality or actions of) or taking part in the creation of the character #valentino #as in #hazbin hotel valentino #HE IS A SHITTY PERSON #HE IS IN HELL FOR A REASON #but that is fiction #you mustnt harp on people who enjoy his character in a meta sense #and you CERTAINLY mustnt harp on all the wonderful talents who worked so hard to bring him to life #enjoying ≠ condoning #yes im referring to everyone harassing the valentino cosplayers at cons #juat stop it #please get a grip #and learn to differentiate between fiction and reality #if you refuse to even mention him or have a conversation about him because youre so scared of the idea of liking/accidentally supporting him #then please do some internal reflecting #because its characters like valentino who allow us to explore these VERY REAL VERY MUCH EXISTING IN OUR WORLD peopl #and avoiding the topic entirely is not how anyone should approach it #dont bury your head in the sand #and dont assume anyone who doesnt bury their head or calls themself a valentino fan/says hes their fav character #is at all condoning what these characters do in-universe #theres a difference #please learn it #thank you for coming to my ted talk #fandom etiquette #anti harassment

[amygdalae]

Doing bad today but my queue is full again so that's something ^u^ enjoy

#kind of at a bottleneck in my life rn where im feeling very scared and trapped even though i know itll be fine probably #and its mostly my own fault anyways. but im in a very dark place and trying very hard to keep it together

[beeduoo]

originnssssss who remembers origins i Loved origins

Lowkey i ate with rhis actually no i didn't i ate wirh rhat ENDER EYE Why is it so rendered Hello

IGNORW RHEIR UGLY UGLY DESIGNS This was before they switched to their iconic Skins past e didn't know......

#loosely based off of this old thing it's under the Cut #origins smp #beeduo #beeduo fanart #idk what other tags to put i cant put C because this isn't C this is O..... but like do people even check those tags idk #actually no im scared i heard theres been like three failed origins revivals i dont want to interfere with their character ecosystem i was #only there for the first one😅 #i rewatched some origins streams a little while ago oh my god theyre SO FUNNY #DUDE DOES ANUONE REMMEBER THAT ONE STREAM I COUDLNT FIND RHIS ONE STREAM #IR EAS LIKE THE ONE WHERE TUBBO WAS SINGING SUGAR BY MAROON FIVE thats all i remmeber ANF ALSO RNE can i call you senpaaiiii bit thay shit h #ad me CRYING in 2021 Please i swear this happened imnot crazy but also they might have been separate streams actuallu i dont rememebr its #been wayyyyyyy too long #BUT IT HAPPENED I PROMISE Sorry i've been gone for a while ive been very busy lots of Things going on went to Six flags then jad a surprise #bday party then i had to buy shoes for prom then Go to prom and also i do figure skating and am out like every day idknt have Time im sorry☹ #had a crepe yesterday it was sooooo goood im like learning to drive too that shit is boring as hell my dad kept gettign 😑 bc i couldn't stop #yawning DRIVING IS SO BORING its not my fault😭😭😭😭 #ok what else ohhhh. y god i locked in SO HARD for this physics essay u guys dont even knowim getting ONE HUNDRED on that trust i just really #wanted to share ok i love you bge #WAIT ACTUALLT SORRU IM LIKE REMMEBERJNG THE ORIGINS STREAMS K WAYCHED #RANBOO WAS SO FUCKING FUNNT IN THOSE STREAMS TOO LIKE I REMEMBER NIKI WANTED TO SEE THEIR BASE and tubbo was like ooh maybe we can put like #water down here for you niki we need a water system and ranwas like Do we though?I WAD WAYCHING THAT .LIKE DAMMMNNNNNN OM LIKE GIGGLING WRIT #ING THIS RIGHT NOW I CAN HEARTHE CLIP HE DID NOTTT WANT HER IJNTHEIR BASE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #I NEED TO FIDN THAT STREAM WHERE IRS LIKE TOMMY AND JACK A D FHEHRE LOKE TALKING ABOUT DUOS AND THEN JACK SAYS THE MOST OUT OF POCKET SHIT I #VE EVER HEARD LKKE I LITERALLU HAD TK PAUSE. H PHONE AND BURST OUR LAUHJIMG MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOORRRRR DO U GUYS R EME ER WTF IM TLAKING AB #OUT IDK HOW TO FIND THESE STREAMS Oh my god u really Had to be there early 2021 that was liye the funniest era of mt life i wlild be #Tearing up from lauhjimg every day I MISS WAYCHING STREAMS LIVE CHAT WAS SO FUNNY I wishe it was archivedI WISH MORE STREAMERS KEPT CHAT ON #SCREEN i defiently understand why most didn't like Wyd when chats annouing ad hell but also Me 3 years later is interested in what the pub #lic had to say.... ok Now bye

[ra-vio]

semester is almost over. im dying

#my oc #rune #mori #i have a project due tomorrow and its finally scared me back into drawing #even though i should be working on this project but im SO SO SO TIRED #i went on an outing like 2 weeks ago the same week that i walked everywhere cause i was desperately #trying to get my taxes done but thats a different story but the point is i was walking a lot and i went on an outing where i stood all day #and then i had to go to class the very next day thinking i was fine but i wasnt. #and that same day after i walked across the city because i absolutely had to pick a thing up. i think the same week i met up with my mom #a couple of times but i was walking the whole way there. my point is that for 2 weeks straight i have been rigorously walking everywhere #and on my feet all the time with little breaks in between and my feet fucking hurt man #i need this semester to be OVER i need to sleep for a MONTH #but i cant because i have to scrape together SOME of this project and finals are next week #this class this project is for fucking sucks. all semester ive been teetering the line between pass and fail #and its not even my fucking fault. im so burnt out so i dont want to do this project. but i might fail if i dont #i need to at least demo it but i have like. one thing done and i dunno what to tell my TA about i #how do i tell my TA and prof that everything is too much for me so i absolutely could work on this project #my laptop is broken so im afraid to use it. the server kept going down last month so i was afraid to use that #so many stupid little things keep piling up and i'd sound really weird trying to explain why i cant do my work #because my desk is on the floor and it makes me really sad so no i cant do my hw. my fave candy has red40 in it so i had to stop eating it #but now i cant do my work because i was using it to help me focus on my hw. LIFE SUCKS BRO #anyway whatever happens. i cant wait to play video games again

[best-enemies]

I've reached season 5 on my CSI rewatch and I'm a few episodes past "Swap Meet", where a woman is murdered after attending a swing party with other couples from the neighbourhood. Near the end of the episode there's a moment that made me jump from my seat:

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two cups. He hands her a cup of tea.)

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE]

Erin Brady: Everybody fantasizes about other people. (She glances at Grissom.)

Even you, Mr. Grissom. A neighbor, a friend ... girl at the office.

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY]

(The door opens. Paul Brady walks out of the hallway. Erin Brady walks out into the hallway. Sara is sitting in the hallway chair watching them. She watches as they meet and kiss.)

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two culps. He hands her a cup of tea.)

LIKE!!!!!!!

Right after Erin ends her sentence with 'girl at the office', the first time Sara and Grissom meet again, he brings her tea. This might be an innocent interaction but to me it seemed like a nod to this relationship they have where both are into each other, know about the other's feelings, but can't/won't do anything about it (although Sara has kind of given Grissom an ultimatum). I don't know if it was intentional - I'm guessing it is, because I picked it up immediately. I might or might not have squealed in delight.

#csi #gsr #i'm very Normal about them btw i don't think about them 50 times per day or anything #need to talk more about these two here #because im obsessed about them in a Normal way #sara is like. my dream wife. i totally get grissom being in love with her for years and barely holding it together #i would not though #i'm 1000% sure she's bi. but the writers have been cowards so far #also she and i dress THE SAME. yes i love 2000s clothes so what #i could talk about her forever she's everything to me #and grissom. oh grissom. i also get why she's been in love with him forever #i mean what the FUCK went down in san francisco did they hook up and sex was so good it scared them #and now they have to live with that tension and they're scared of crossing that line #nah i'm guessing with these two they just REALLY clicked. like. they were an instant match and they knew it #but grissom didnt want to lose focus on work or whatever and they lived in separate states you know #but oh my god i totally get sara. grissom is such a silver fox. he's like one of the hottest old men i've ever seen in my life #you know what i 100% get tumblr sexualizing old men it's completely valid i'm in this now too #he has this LOOK. whenever he's angry at a suspect. and he looks angrily at them. i'm chewing on my keyboard just remembering it #and his smirks #AND THE WAY HE LOOKS AT SARA #im losing my mind #i love all of gil grissom but seasons 4-5 jesus fucking christ #ok enough with the sexualizing i love him as a character SO MUCH. he's absolutely fantastic #one of the things i love the most about him is that he doesn't judge people. whenever the team is confused about someone #or this persons' lifestyle #he's always trying to understand them and not judge them #like a true scientist he wants to understand the nature of things and people #and he's such a sweetheart i love him so much #like there are so many things i love about him i can't fit them all in the tags. same for sara #they're a perfect match for me

[aropride]

i really dont understand studying at all like genuinely i don't know what it is . i know about "taking notes" and "reading the textbook" and that's it . quizlet doesn't do shit for me because i don't know what to. do. with the cards. look at them ? am i supposed to just look at them . No one bothered teaching me actual skills bc i got good grades when i was 8 and now i am so hopelessly lost . why did no one think to teach me this for when stuff got harder than four plus three

#text #ive never understood flashcards . like what to do with them. how is that any more different or helpful than just like... writing a list on #paper of vocab terms or whatever #and like conceptually i know 'learning' is like. not only committing things to memory but also being able to engage with it which #is why teachers loveeeee group discussions and essays. but like. you read the text and then you go to class and Discuss but how do you #Learn what the text is saying like how do you . put it in your brain and udnerstand and remember it . #i think im missing something very simple because everyone else in the world seems to understand this fine #like where does the part where you go oh! i understand this and can explain it in my own words. Happen #how do u force it to happen if its not something ur autistic about #Like the only example i can think of rn of this is when i hyperfixated on hpa axis dysregulation + trauma a couple weeks ago #so i was learning stuff about it for Fun and not for school so no comprehension tests or notes or anything #and basically i'd just put on a webinar while i sorted seaglass or worked on sewing or whaever #and i can explain the concept fine. ur brain controls ur body so if it gets too scared ur body loses its shit basically. #but i dont remember most of the words. i still can barely define neurotransmitter #i can apply this to my own life but i confuse the hippocampus and the frontal lobe and the amygdala etc #and i couldnt point out any of them on a diagram #i dont get it . like i know a lot and simultaneously nothing at all abt it #how am i supposedto be remembering words and numbers AND understanding the concepts AND im supposed to do that between #reading the book and engaging in thoughtful conversation with my peers i dont understand