#im so tired i stayed up all night making this

[ohposhers]

This started as a shitpost and then I just kept going anyway AU where Floyd eventually forgives Veneer and they end up becoming besties a few years down the line and have girls nights ugh [NOT SHIP ART!!!] aaand Bonus doodle of when they take the curlers out or some shit dont look at me man

#floyd was convinced his hair was gonna look stupid with curls but hes a believer now #this is so stupid im sorry guys #can you tell i had fun writing the dialogue #trolls #trolls band together #floyd trolls #veneer trolls #im so tired i stayed up all night making this #veneer and his senior citizen best friend #my art

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

So I'm an area director at a summer camp, but yesterday my boss called me and asked if I'd be down to be the director of two areas and I said yes without thinking about the consequences. So now I'm the director of two areas? That means two groups of staff to train and lead, two sets of lesson plans, two areas to teach at and make the schedule for and make the lesson plans for, two physical areas to set up. They're right next to each other, but this is going to be fucking insane

#the reason this is happening is because we dont have a dining hall director anymore because the first decided to take summer classes #and the second got a research position. so the director of the area that my area is right next to. volunteered to switch #so the camp director called me yesterday and was like 'this is all happening would you want to take on another area?' #so i would be director of both. with kind of a concentration in the new one. while my assistant director concentrates on the first one #but id still have to lead both staffs. teach at both. be available to both. do records for both. set up both #i start thinking about it and i always realize another thing thats gonna be weird about it #but on the bright side ive decided i cant do the 5 mile hike requirement for my old area #every thursday we do a five mile hike for our class because its for requirements. and i hate it cuz its hard lol #but i realized that it wouldnt really work out for me to be across the lake with one area and leave the other area directorless #so guess i cant do that! oh nooo /s #but i have to make two teaching schedules.whoch i started last night #i have to both teach a suitable amount in both areas but also have enough free time to be flexible and available for both #i am so tired already. and i just got this news yesterday #i was up until 5am because i was planning shit and then i layed awake anxious for another hour #also i watched the disruptors which admittedly got me to stay up pretty late too. the grant obrien and ally Beardsley movie #its very good. but mostly i stayed up late because i was trying to figure out being the director of two areas #i think about it for two seconds and i realize another reason itll be super hard. i have to introduce two staffs at the campfire #i have to talk about two areas at the leaders meeting. i have to learn a whole bundle of new merit badges #im so tired

[ff2-soda-pop]

I'm starting to question if I should even bother with the stupid paper.... I'm probably just gonna fail anyways lmao

#ive been running around stuck on Babysitter Duty for the past three days and the teacher only gave us any instructions on thursday yet #somehow expected a full paper done and edited by sunday. even if i wasnt stuck on babysitter duty she'd get a shitty paper just due to how #little TIME that is to get things done. but because i am on babysitter duty uhhh..... well so far there's no paper #ive been spending practically full days having to take care of my sister and i cant just Ignore Her so i havent done my paper while watchin #her because again: my focus needs to be on Her. and shes incredibly loud which makes it super hard to focus. fun combo /s #so i was like 'i'll just stay up Really Late and do it then' but that hasn't worked because my sister WONT GO TO BED if im awake. i was up #until 4am last night hoping she'd fall asleep and shut up and i could work but Nope! #and then i got too tired to even care anymore #i've tried explaining this to others and they're just like 'ok well you just need to find a way to make it work :/' which is very much #easier said than done! and im scared about this paper because this teacher doesnt accept late work at all for pretty much any reason #and im sure she wont understand my situation. because shes also the teacher that didnt understand that i didnt have the textbook on time #because it was still being shipped and i dont control the rate at which book ships and she was like #'..........okay well you still need to have the book by tomorrow at least <3' when i told her the book had Just shipped and idk when i'd ge #the dumb thing. so yknow i dont have high hopes about this #also just as extra 'make stuff more difficult' i have zero accommodations because my mom cant keep track of my fucking IEPs and they wont #let me have accommodations unless i have that and idk how to get a copy anymore. so i've also been running around with no help in that area #and it's not great </3 #idk im just stressed out and frustrated and i Want To Cry :) #vent

[lesbianuhaulindustrialcomplex]

I did something recently that hurt my mom's feelings and the world has come to a fucking halt about it. Everyone keeps reaching out to me to be like "hey you hurt your mom's feelings idk if you know" even though she and I have extensively talked about it and I've given multiple genuine apologies because she keeps going to everyone who will still talk to her in our family (not very many people) and complaining about me and I'm just like. Genuinely I am very remorseful that I hurt my mother but like. Where the fuck was all this energy when she was hurting her fucking children for 30+ years?

#i technically uninvited her to something #the situation is that i planned a whole birthday party for myself and then BECAUSE MY MOM PICKED A HUGE FIGHT WITH ALL OF HER SIBLINGS #like 75% of the people i invited (my aunts and uncles and cousins) canceled on me #so i canceled my birthday party but asked my brother sister and my brothers wife to still come over that night #they were only coming to see my apartment for the first time. our plan was to get kind of drunk and loud and do karaoke on my couch #my mom has seen my apartment dozens of times #ive invited my parents over for multiple casual dinners. they HATE driving to my area bc its too busy #my mom HATES loud chitchat and music and bad singing and staying up late. #all things we did that night! #and if i were confident i could extend a polite invitation that would have been turned down for inclusion's sake then i would have done that #but i fucking didnt invite her! because she would have said yes! and then she would have been policing the event and my behavior all night! #BECAUSE SHE IS A DIAGNOSED NARCISSIST WHO DOESN'T HAVE THE SKILLS TO PREVENT THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR #and i know she can't really help it. i know her life was so fucking hard. but she made MY life hard. she STILL makes my life hard. #i just wanted one fucking night to have fun with people that love me. just one fucking night! and she tried her VERY best to ruin that #even without an invite #and tbh in some ways she really succeeded in ruining it. half the fucking time was spent talking about her and how to handle this situation #and if this is a precursor to her gettting fucking worse again and going back to inpatient #im just fucking tired of it man

[pepprs]

not doing good. at all

#purrs #today and yesterday ive been unspeakably depressed. and no one knows what to do with me and i don’t know what to do with me. but ivs been ge #getting absolutely SHIT sleep bc of my siblings staying up late and my sisters ocd stuff which is probably part of it. I now im wide awake a #and it’s 2 and im miseravle and can’t sleep and already did sleep for 2 hours and it didn’t help and im hungry and weak #i truly don’t n kw what’s wro ng with me. i want to be happy and normal but every day i have long moments where im trying so hard not to cry #and i think most ppl would excuse themselves to go cry or take a break or like. speak up and ask for help if they’re miserable but i don’t d #do any of that. i just hold it all in until i get so tired it disappears. and then when i do snap im too miserable and ashamed to actually b #be honest about how anyone can help me which only makes me cry more. atp idk what will help. im in therapy now im about to have some time of #km eating food i like even though it’s not the healthiest ive tried resting and getting sleep and whatever. maybe im just not cut out for #any of what im doing and i just need to detach myself from reality even harder than i am already doing apparently. idk nothing im typing is #making sense i just can’t fall asleep now and im so pissed at my siblings and im pissed at my whole family for not giving a shit that im mis #miserable and easily overstimulated by noise bc i could’ve had ghe room downstairs and im still being held hostage by redacted and being #shaken awake to redacted like last night and work is killing me for the dumbest reasons. i literally cannot keep living like this #delete later

[moodr1ng]

they need to make like uber eats for pharmacies. the days im out of my meds are also the days where im absolutely incapable of going outside to get more 😭😭

#97 #i have to stay awake like 2-3 more hours if i want to have a normal night and not an awful one where i keep waking up #but im SO tired and i dont wanna be up anymore. all bc i ran out of sleeping pills & had to use the other bs that makes me feel like shit #kms this sucks so bad. cant go to bed but also cannot do anything so im super on edge and have been all day. #bite kill bite etc #another reason i dont like being alive on weekends is the pharmacy is closed and its always when ive run outta meds #also i wish my therapist would answer my text or just send me the doc i requested 😭😭 man its been over a year. #that im trying to get referred for a formal autism diagnosis but i need him to SEND THEM MY FILE #and if hes not gonna do it then i will but then i NEED THE FILE #stop ghosting me..

[strawbie-doodle]

the fucking ninja turtles are making me lose sleep

#and also critical role #i just have so many thoughts i cant sleep!!! #and i have work at 6am #its 3:31!!! #i should just stay up all night #im not even tired 😭 #im just kinda worried cuz i made plans with my friend after work and i dont wanna be tired #i cant sleep tho.. im thinking abt critical role.. and ninja turtles.. #i cant wait for the new eppy on thursdayyyy. the split party is making me insane #its gonna be so fun. the ashton laudna and orym group!!! UGH THEYRE MY FAVS #and also the ruidus stuff!?!?!? like is the world gonna end!!!!??? #i rewatched some exu calamity and oughhh its so good i miss it #they should make another one but abt aeor 😏 #strawbie txt #as for my ninja turtle thoughts.. i miss them 🥺 i miss rise 🥺🥺🥺 #ive got some drawings of leo i'll post soon #i wanna draw them all cuz ive got a new way to draw their shells #i swear every time i think abt maybe drawing oc stuff the ninja turtles take over sjdhnsmsbdms

[sunnyvaler]

guess who just got (temporarily) declined for seeing a funded therapist bc they took too long to pick one and didn't know what the process was or how to move forward with it

#im still eligable for the funded sessions its just declined until i sort things w the therapist #my mouth is still in too much pain to eat but idk if i can afford my dentist appointment on tuesday #and a man i don't know who knows my flatmate is apparently coming over and staying the night tonight and theres nothing i can do ab it #and things just keep piling up and its Bad im Struggling its all too much #and i have no irl friends to rant to and i dont like ranting to people online bc i feel like Too Much so i just 🧍‍♂️ #things are Bad i feel Bad and i will probably be ghosting for a while bc the thought of conversation exhausts me #i also still havent started taking the iron supplement i was prescribed 4 weeks ago and I have a doctors appointment in 2 weeks #and idk how to tell her im not taking it bc im worried if i tell her im not taking it or bring up my mental health she'll stop my t shots #so i just #things arent going good i try not to make posts like this but I'm just. things are bad and im tired and i want things to not be bad #negative //

[qqweebird]

roommate currently throwing a 24 hour hissy fit bc i told her to shut up and stop being passive aggressive when she has a complaint. literally stomping around and slamming doors cus shes mad. you dont even pay for the lights bitch. anyway i maxed out the tags on this post stay safe down there

#currently our electricity bill is weird so its split 50/50 me and saturn #instead of 3 ways between the 3 of us #i hoped maybe this month it would be fixed but it wasnt #and a few days ago i brought it up to her and said i was tired of paying 50% and we should take care of it that night #and she said ‘ok also it probably wouldnt be so high if we didnt leave unnecessary lights on 24/7’ #its literally Not that high its only high for me n saturn cus we have to pay 50%. #lights Arent left on 24/7 im literally a light freak #if i believe its not necessary to be on i turn it the fuck off!! #then yesterday saturn said that he was going to make a schedule for us to stay on track w taking out the garbage #because literally last week she complained that he and i dont take care of it enough #(not true. straight up not true. saturn takes care of it the most. she was just mad that nobody had tied up the full bag) #(​which.. she is also… responsible for if she sees its time for it to be tied up..) #and she said ‘well thats probably something you should have talked to us about first but whatever’ #(we literally have discussed creating a chore list. like. five times. and just nobody took the initiative.) #and then continued with ‘lets stop leaving dishes in the sink when the dishwasher is empty :// it looks trashy’ #and thats when i snapped cus good god. #she was ONLY upset about that bc she cleaned the kitchen last week. the ONLY time shes done a full kitchen-clean. #thats not me inferring she said ‘its annoying when i do all the dishes and then when i get back from the weekend the sink is full again 🙄’ #mother…. FUCKER #it wasnt even FULL there were just like two pizza pans that made it look like more than it was ?? #she fr said shes the backbone of this house after she cleaned the kitchen. that was dirty from HER cooking messes #& then had the audacity to say ‘ive asked everyone and theyve all said the apartment looks like shit’ #and shes soooo pissy about people ‘talking shit’ about her when none of us have ever done that and then she goes and literally just #for real talks mad fucking shit without coming to me and saturn first to clarify her expectations #like we ALL say ‘ugh yeah the apartment is a mess we really gotta take care of that’ (never takes care of it bc we are busy/tired/adhd) #my guy you cant fault an adhd household for having clutter and backed up chores. #if she started having a problem with anything all she needed to say was ‘hey can you do x please?’ #not ‘we should have some day a week that we clean the common areas’ followed by never actually initiating it #like she really said we should do this as a group but then herself never tried to. make that happen when she needed it to happen. #personal

[ohposhers]

i want floyd to get high at a rock concert and start a fight in the moshpit

#trolls #trolls band together #trolls world tour #floyd trolls #riff trolls #fliff #fliff trolls #im of the firm belief ringpops are a hard drug for trolls #also of the firm belief floyd gets fucking crazy when he's high i think it contrasts with his timid personality so well #my art #i stayed up all night making this shit im so tired

[foxcassius]

as i look at job listings here in korea, i cant help but still dream of that private lesson life. like, every job here will still expect you to teach 6 classes a day 5 days a week, for like a maximum wage of 2.4 million won per month. i could make twice that teaching that many classes in a private lesson setting, and i could easily make the SAME wage and just work less (ideal scenario)

#last night jiwon asked me like a million (imo unfair) questions about america and its society and why it succeeded #(unfair bc i just genuinely cant give definitive answers aside from 'it succeeded economically thanks to slavery') #and i was like 'you ask me sometimes why i dont want to move back to america and there are so many reasons and its hard to put into words' #'but one of them is that the work culture is so gross to be in and people still feel trapped in their jobs and there's no freedom to it' #and he was like 'korea is the same way it's just that i'm a specialist and you are foreigner who speaks english as a mother tongue' #'so i am inherently privileged out of genuine poverty by way of my degree and you are as well by way of being the class of foreign worker #you are. so korea has the same kind of trap for ''lower class'' people when it comes to work its just that you arent seeing it due to #your own status and my status as the main korean national whose life you are privvy to' #and i was like yes. i am aware of this. i am perfectly aware of how much poverty there is in korea and that not everyone lives as we do. #and i'm also perfectly aware of the fact that i would lose visa status and be sent back to my home country before i had any chance to #experience korean poverty. it sometimes feels like when he asks me why i dont want to go back to america he forces me to state One (1) #reason why and then takes that one reason and is like 'korea is like that too' which for starters I Know. because he refuses to acknowledge #this but korea is heavily controlled and influenced by the usa im not gonna get into that right now but I Know the similarities in many way #s between the usa and korea. secondly there are Many reasons why i wont be going back to the usa not the least of which is that #jiwon and i intend to get married and he doesnt intend to leave korea so its all a moot point anyway and idk why he keeps bringing it up #he wants to stay in korea and i wouldnt choose to move back to america so idk why he keeps like forcing me to explain myself on reason at a #time and like turn it around is trying to make me want to leave like. let it rest king i am so tired of talking about american politics #at 12 am especially bc sometimes he wants to have an argument abt it and im like Neither Of Us Is Educated Enough To Have This Conversation #i have my own lived experiences and a small amount of specific research. he has whatever they teach in school here abt america + some #internet readings. neither of us is qualified to sit and talk about this #it just feels like sometimes i'll be like 'america is a suffocating capitalist hellscape where kids get shot at school' and he's like #'well korea is also bad' and im like yeah no shit everywhere is bad everywhere is a capitalist hellscape the us has its hands in korea's #government and economy. but at least here i have a job with a decent salary and You so. #anyway. long rambling tags over. <3 #t

[mirmidones]

i start the day high but it ends so low like an hour and a half after ive started it bc im too tired to keep upright

#hopeless days #im sorry to be so negative on the dash but im seriously scared. my body doesn't work and the more it doesn't work the less energy i have to #try to make it work and the less i try the less it works and i don't know what to do #my left knee is out of control and keeps being unstable and the ankle and the hip too are part of it. but if i keep putting all my weight #on the right leg it will start to hurt as well like. i feel like im walking on fragile sticks all the time. and i am not bony except in #those places so i have to be careful to not put them on top of one another bc then it hurts #and i can't fall asleep and i keep waking up in the middle of the night and then everything hurts bc fibro ig and it's difficult to fall #asleep again and then in the morning im so tired i just want to lie down but if i stay still everything will start hurting again but i #don't have the energy to be anything but still and i should be doing exercises to make it better but im so tired i can't even sit i need to #be horizontal and it's honestly so terrifying and i feel stupid about it too but yeah #going absolutely insane here #x

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#what does one do when their perception cannot b trusted? im so physically and emotionally exhausted #and i can go from feeling hopelessly terminally bad to completely normal for no apparent reason. and on occasion i can go from normal to i #think i can stay up all night. i never have to sleep again. look how great i can focus. i could kill god. #and i have no emotional object permanence so it feels so stupid when im normal. i cant sympathize with myself in altered states of mind #and it doesnt matter but it makes me crazy the idea that i might not b bip0lar but i just push myself so far that under pressure my mind #splits into the catastrophically positive or negative. but i feel like this is how i have to live. i have to b perfect or pay a blood debt #and thats just how it is. and thats how its been. so at this point ive spend thr last idk 15 years of my life being d #some measure of miserable for no reason. i dont kno y i do this to myself and im 26 now and idk how to stop bc even pushing myself as hard #as i can im so far behind. how am i supposed to do less and not #and not just quit. im compulsive for a reason. there's a fundamental barrier between myself and understanding language but if i do more and #more and more then i can at least try to keep up with everyone else. idk im so tired. and im 26 and im afraid im stuck like this #and i cant even... its like ive split my head in 2 to cope. ive created distance within myself so that i cant fully feel how terrible i make #things for myself. half my brain is always like lol suffer idiot. it throws off my therapists bc i cant take my own pain seriously. ill #laugh and smile while im like yea i feel horrible like most of the time and i dont kno what to do lol. idk so it goes. i think im gonna stop #with the birth control tho. as it doesnt seem to help with my sadness levels. idk if ite making ot worse or not. guess well find out #itll b easier once i dont have to b trained on things. then i wont have to ask a question and burst into tears on my lab mate 🙄 #unrelated

[cinnabeat]

holy fuck im gonna die

#pushing shit around omfg #my heart shes racing #i moved the bed tho ✌️ #now i gotta figure out where everything else will go #i have it more or less figured out #like indrew a plan and everything weeks ago #i of course forgot to include my book case but we'll see!!!! :) #i think my art supplies will go under the window #easy access for me and prevents my FUCKING CAT from jumping on my desk shelves #ive already had one casualty (hatsune miku my beloved im so sorry) i am NOT having another #i think life would be easier if i put my computer box thing under my desk instead of next to it #it blocks the plugs and thats how my cat fucking gets on the sheleves #it would have the added bonus of preventing my cat from stepping on the power button #i might move my work desk? #i think id have to? to make use of all the space? #i think the issue is that my door when open takes up a lot of wall space which is inconvenient #maybe i dont need my night stand? i dont have anything there except my books #and a lamp which im admittedly attatched too but i can put it somerwhere else? #hm #originally the rearrange idea was so i can put a cat tree but i failed to realize how many objects i have #that need to be placed next to a wall #anyways #im so sweaty man #i stayed in bed for hours earlier trying to get myself to take a shower first before cleaning #before i had the genius epiphany that if im gonna clean im gonna get sweaty and dirty anyways so whats the point #so shower for later <3 #michi tag #moving my bed wiped me out man im so tired 😭 #u know those games where u have to have wnergy to play #thats what i feel like now. like i have 20 little lightning bolts left out of a hundred

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

.

#so for the last like. as long as i can remember. ive had a shit sleep schedule #mostly like sleep all day and stay up all night kinda shit #but i got sick/burnt out recently and slept for almost two days straight #and somehow it reset my sleep schedule to something normal #like i went to bed at 10pm and woke up at 5am for the last few days #and i havent had to nap #and the not needing to nap is really fucking with me #like im used to waking up. feeding my dog. and then napping until i go to work #i should be napping rn. but im not tired #i dont have to get ready for work for another four hours and ive already been awake for three hours #i went to the coffee shop and to walgreens. im in real clothes instead of pajamas. i did a load of laundry #im laying in bed (its so hot i might be dying) and i just. dont know what to do with my time #im probably gonna do some cleaning and packing because im moving in two months #idk im just feeling some strange type of way because for the last few days ive been. alive #instead of sleeping my life away #its so strange. i got sick. slept for a few days. and now my biggest problem is just fixed? and i can have a life now? #its 70 degrees today and the world is my oyster. what should i do? #i have a list of chores im gonna do. i might walk to the coinstar machine so ill have money #yeah i want to do that cuz im in the negatives in my bank account but i want to get a cool drink before work today #my dad texted me this morning 'noticed your bank account is overdrawn for the second time this week. whats going on kid?' #which is such a sad text to get because i know im broke. thanks dad. lets pls ignore my financial hardships #if you want to make my dad less sad hmu for my venmo /hj #anyways ill probs do that today. get some cash so i can get a frozen lemonade from wawa or something #yknow that post thats like 'seasonal depression seems fake until its 50 degrees in march and it feels like you took a party drug' #i think thats partially whats happening here. its 70 degrees and sunny and my systems dont know what to do with that #i hope youre all having a great day that you dont sleep through. i love you!!

[savethepinecones]

its nearly 4 am and i still cant sleep augh

#the cat stole my pillow also #like hes adorable and all but still #ive cut my pillow hoard down to three because the others were all part of the furnished room at my last place #so i had to leave them behind when i moved #now im thinking about the difference between tired and sleepy #i think tired is like needing to rest while sleepy is like about to fall asleep #so insomnia would be like tired but not sleepy #and when you hit like 7 am and get your second wind after staying up all night thats sleepy but not tired #like if you lay down youll paas out immediately but you feel like you have plenty of energy #idk if this makes sense im v tired #might try to share the cat pillow but i dont wanna mess with my allergies too much #my lungs have been shit lately as is #great now im tired rambling #so glad this is what i do when tired instead of limmke. actually sleeping #augh