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#im realizing that i would do anything to be with you again
freshlove-sturn · 3 days
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house on the cape.
based on last friday’s video bc im obsessed with it. (events that happened in the vlog may not be in order just so the story flows how i want, also might add or get rid of some things for that same reason ofc). definitely gonna be multiple parts if yall like it so please let me know!!
summary: when the triplets come back home from la, they reunite with their favorite summer tradition, staying in the house on the cape. amidst all of the familiar laughter, and reminiscing on old memories, y/n can’t ignore the feeling stirring in her heart. something that went deeper than friendship. as she grapples with the fact that her feelings for her lifelong best friend, matt, are more than what’s just at the surface, she must learn to navigate and balance the unspoken feelings, and the gut wrenching fear of risking it all.
a/n: sorry guys but i think im scrapping all my old fics. i just have lost interest in them and i dont want to give yall something that i just half assed yk. i just need something new 😖🙏 don’t hate me pls. also i didn’t proof read and i never do so hopefully this all makes sense LMAO
……………………..
“BOYS TRIP!” chris shouts through the house.
the triplets are back in boston from being in la. i’d be lying if i said that i didn’t wish that these visits would last forever. being across the country from my best friends sucked.
“oh yeah , and you’ll be there too. you’re one of the boys.” chris points at me, smiling before loading the car with our bags.
“chris please never say that again.” i cringe, but fail to keep in my laughter.
“i agree. that was disgusting.” nick chimes in.
“just wanted to make sure you know you’re included.” chris throws his hands up in defense.
“thanks.” i smile and shake my head before getting in the car.
we were staying at their house in cape cod, something all of us looked forward to each summer growing up.
we arrive at nate’s house to pick him up. after the group effort of showering him in compliments for his new hair cut, we get back in the car.
sandwiched between nick and nathan, i check the time on my phone. nick grabs my wrist and moves it out of the way to give himself a better view of my lock screen.
“that is such a cute picture.” he says admiringly. it was a picture of matt and i. the picture was taken from behind while matt gave a piggy back ride back to the car because my feet hurt from wearing heels to madison’s concert.
“you took it.” i laugh.
“i know. i really out did myself huh.” he hypes himself up. i smile and roll my eyes.
once we get to the cape house, we unload the car. all of our bags scattered haphazardly throughout our respective rooms. the same rooms each of us have stayed in for years. nate with chris, nick with matt, and me, having been the only girl, with my own room.
“let’s go to the beach!” nate walks out into the kitchen, clapping his hands together.
the beach was just within walking distance. matt and i fell behind the rest of the group.
“i’m so glad you’re back.” i tell him.
“me too. i missed you.” he replies.
“i missed you too.” i admit. “a lot.” i look up and meet his eyes. we just stare at each other for a second. we didn’t really need to say anything. it was almost just a mutual understanding that each other were our favorite person.
if only he knew the extent.
the only person i’ve confided in about my feelings for matt was nate. which was precisely why he kept shooting me knowing glances anytime matt and interacted. nate swore that he knew i was in love with matt for years, before i even knew myself.
i can’t exactly pinpoint when i fell in love with my best friend, but i do remember when i realized.
flashback
matt and i sit together in the hammock string between two large oak trees in the backyard of the cape house. the gentle breeze swaying us back and forth softly. the sun was going down just to the right of us. beautiful pink and orange hues paint the sky.
“i could stay right here forever.” matt breaks the silence that had fallen between us.
“me too.” i reply softly.
“oh hey i have something for you” he digs his hand around in his pocket and pulls out a baby pink seashell. he hands it it me.
“i’ve never seen a pink one like that before.” he tells me as i admire the gift.
“me either. i love it. thanks matt.” i smile sweetly at him.
“of course.” he returns the smile.
i feel the heartbeat in my chest racing and my cheeks heating up. the feeling i had been carrying around with me for quite some time became abundantly clear.
i was in love with my best friend.
when i got home that night, i tied a string around the shell, and wore it as a necklace. and i haven’t taken it off since.
end of flashback
that was back when we were 16. 4 whole years i’ve gone hiding my biggest secret from the one person i told everything to.
our gaze was interrupted by chris. “jesus, yall are some slow pokes” he hollers back at us.
we both laugh and pick up out pace.
soon we arrive at the beach. i’ve always loved the beach. it truly is my happy place.
especially when i’m with matt.
nick snaps pictures here and there.
“oh my gosh matt look! this is just like your tattoo!” i hold out a shell to him.
“oh shit you’re right.” he holds out his arm, revealing his tattoo.
“that’s sick.” chris admires the similarity while nick takes a picture.
later that night, we all sit in the living room debating on what movie to watch.
“chris im not watching planet of the apes again. we’ve watched it like 9 times already.” nick argues, shutting down chris’s pleads.
“how about grown ups?” matt suggests.
“yes i love that movie.” nate agrees.
“that’s fine with me.” nick shrugs and starts typing it in.
“is that good with you?” matt leans down to where i was sitting in front of him, his voice soft and genuine.
“yeah that’s good with me.” i tell him.
he smiles and pats the spot on the couch next to him, gesturing me to come sit up there with him. i stand up from my spot on the floor and sit down next to him. he drapes a blanket over the both of us.
about an hour or so into the movie, my eyes get heavy. i lean my head on matt’s shoulder, to which he responds with wrapping his arm around me. this was nothing out of the ordinary. there’s pictures going back to when we were in preschool of the two of us practically fused together passed out on the living room floor.
suddenly, a gentle shake of my shoulders woke me up from a sleep i hadn’t even known i fell into. my eyes flutter, slowly regaining focus. when they do, i’m met with matt’s gentle blue eyes.
“hey, you wanna go lay down in your bed? i don’t want your neck to be sore.” he asks, genuinely concerned for my comfort.
i look around, everyone else appeared to have gone into their rooms.
“yeah i probably should.” i say through a yawn.
matt grabs my hand and helps me stand up from the couch. we walk down the hallway. my room came before his and nicks.
“goodnight matt.” i say, slowly turning the doorknob.
“goodnight y/n. see ya in the morning.”
i toss and turn in bed, unable to fall asleep. i stand up from bed, and leave my room. slowly making my way to the kitchen to get a drink, careful to not wake anyone up.
i open the fridge and grab a water. before i can take a sip, i hear a familiar voice behind me.
“can’t sleep?” the sudden breach of silence made me jump a little. i turn around and see matt. he was leaned up against the door frame. his sweatpants falling dangerously low on his figure, his arm under his shirt itching his shoulder, exposing his midriff.
“nope. you?” i set my water down on the counter.
“hm mm” he replies.
we stand in silence for a few moments before matt breaks the silence again.
“wanna go to the beach?”
….
a/n: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LMK IF YALL LIKE THIS. SUGGESTIONS ALWAYS WELCOME AND MY INBOX IS ALWAYS OPEN 🙏 i’m using my old taglist, so lmk if you want taken off or added to it!
taglist: @honestlybabymiracle @pepsiimaxx @creamoncreamoncream2 @mattestrella @luvmxtt @rac00ns-are-c00l4
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eekshade · 1 day
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hey!! sry for not writing anything for 5 months, school has been yucky, but im back!! i started with an alphabet bc it was an easy way to ease myself back into writing. also happy gay month 🫶
Bucky Barnes Fluff Alphabet
bucky barnes x m!reader
word count: 4.4k
warnings/info: letter J depicts a make out sesh ig, internalized homophobia is mentioned, Buck cries, use of you/your for reader but is said to be male, there are scenes after the hcs for a little bit but I gave up on that lol, made in my notes app so sry for any formatting issues, not proof read
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A - Admiration. (what do they admire about their S/O?)
☆ Bucky loves your hands. He likes how "innocent" they are compared to his. He adores when you hold his hand, especially the vibranium one. It makes him feel all warm and soft. It makes him loved. The kind of love that causes one's stomach to ache, it makes him want to love himself.
The two of you are slowly making your way through the crowded farmer's market, somewhat resembling a can of sardines. You were walking in front of him, taking notice of a small clearing off to the side, grasping his metallic hand, pulling him behind you. He follows without question, a small smile pointed at your two interlocked hands.
Once stopped in the empty area, before you could even think of letting go of him, he pulled you into him, placing his cracked lips onto your own.
"You know I love you, right?"
"Of course I do."
He kisses you again.
B - Boldness. (how bold are they in regards to their S/O? who confessed first?)
☆ Bucky was a confident man in his youth, always the one making the first move. Ever since he started living in Brooklyn again, he started to notice the anxiety crawling up his throat whenever he interacted with others. This is why he wouldn't start talking to you, even if he's interested in you, so you would need to initiate the first few (dozen) conversations before he starts to feel comfortable around you. That being said, given that you've been talking as friends/acquaintances, he'll have no problem asking you out, it might just take me some time.
☆ Once in a relationship he is extremely bold, there are still some topics where he would be more hesitant to talk about (such as the full extent of his past), but when it comes to you he won't having any problem charmin' you like there’s no tomorrow.
Bucky lingers in front of your shared apartment building hoping to catch you on your way home after a day out, he nervously switches from leaning on a tree to sitting on a bench, then back to the tree. He only waits for about five or so minutes before he notices you walking on the pavement leading to the building, but after locking eyes with him, your course changes.
"Hey, Bucky!"
"y/n! I'm glad I caught you, can I walk you up?"
You simply smile and nod in the direction of the door. You smell like newly washed clothes, but to Bucky, it might as well be heaven. You break the silence by asking him about his day, he breifly responds, giving you some of the highlights, you two chit-chat for bit, not able to dive into much as the trip is rather short. By the time you two reach your door, he realizes that he longer can try to find the perfect segue so he might as well just go for it.
"...Well, thanks for walking with me." You smile at him, reaching for the door handle.
"Wait, y/n, I wanted to talk to you about something." You raise your eyebrows as a sort of permission for him to continue.
"I hope I wasn't misreading this, but would you like to get dinner together sometime?" His voice remains unwavering, with a sly smile dancing across his face.
You roll your eyes at his tone, but it's hard to hide the smile forming at the corners of your mouth,"I guess I don't see why not."
"Yeah, yeah," he snickers, "here." It's his number written on the back of receipt, a small smiley face had been drawn next to it, then erased.
"See you, Bucky."
"Bye, y/n."
C - Comfort. (how do they comfort their S/O?)
☆ Bucky is more of an advice guy than a comfort guy, this is due to him getting extremely awkward/uncomfortable during touchy, feely situations (and not because he doesn't know how to confront his own emotions!!). However, he does understand the need for warmth during hard times, he just opts to show it through acts of service instead.
Your thoughts thrash against the walls inside your head, the throbbing only getting worse as you slowly pull yourself out of his bed. Your face caked in sweat and dried tears, your bloodshot eyes drift to the phone resting upon the on of the nightstands, your unsteady hand grips the device, checking the time.
The late afternoon sun coats the walls in an irritable light, despite the curtains being mostly closed. You notice on the second nightstand that he left a glass of ice water (which was mostly melted now) and a note, which read:
"EVERYTHING NEEDED FOR A BATH IS ON THE BATHROOM COUNTER - ILL BE BACK WITH YOUR FAVORITE ASAP :)"
D - Dates. (do they prefer going out or staying in? do they prefer fancy or simple?)
☆ Bucky has a really hard time with this one. All he is used to are the classic dinner and a movie type dates, but in his heart, he likes the more intimate, at home, kind. Over time, he finds a sort of balance between the two, like a picnic at a drive-in movie.
"Bucky, where the hell are we?"
The two of you are currently driving down backroads you've never seen before. The road is slightly too narrow for anyone to get fully comfortable, the night sky darkening the path. Bucky has been relatively quiet, letting you do all the talking, and control the music; he never has liked modern music, but there's something special about when you play it.
"Well, if I tell you it's not really a surprise, is it?" He answered, turning his head to you slightly. The smile on his face is almost aggravating, if it had been anyone else's, you would've jumped out of the moving vehicle.
"You're not funny," you playfully roll your eyes, "if I didn't know you any better, I'd say you're trying to kill me." You pretend to study him as if trying to find a motive.
"Well, I can promise you I'm not doing that." The smile changes to softer, genuine.
The car is almost silent for the rest of the way, the soft music leading you two down the road. The car pulls into an unpaved parking lot, bringing you back to reality. You look around and see a white screen proudly standing twenty or so feet ahead of you, realizing what's going on, you turn to Bucky. A nervous grin shines back at you, he's holding a basket filled with dinner, and movie snacks.
"You like it?"
E - Equal. (are they more dominant or passive?)
☆ Due to Bucky growing up in the 40s, he does still have quite a bit of internalized homophobia. Therefore, he tends to try and be the stereotypical, manly, provider. He does unconsciously feminize you to make himself feel better, but the second he realizes, or you tell him, he'll do everything to stop, as well as profusely apologize.
☆ Other than that, I do see him as being in the middle. He can obviously take control when he needs to, but also because of his past, he loves when you take the pressure off, and take care of him.
(I can't think of a scene for this rn, and I rlly need to finish this so sry, if anyone want more about this just ask)
F - Family. (do they want to start a family?)
☆ Bucky loves kids, and is great with them, but he doesn't want to have his own, at least until he's stable. So for now he's okay with being the cool uncle.
After spending a lake day with the Wilsons, it was noticeable that Bucky wanted to say something. He looked uncomfortable, nervous even as he waited for everyone to finally call it a night. A little after the kids were put to bed, Sarah called it in, then Sam. You went to follow, seeing as it may be weird to stay up longer than the hosts, but Bucky ushered you to follow him to the back deck.
You sat on the stairs next to him in silence, waiting for him to speak, the warm air surrounding you two. He bit his lip and looked at you, studying you.
"I love you," He smiles at you, his tone signifying a second part of what he needs to say.
"But?" You laugh, nervousness now making its way into you.
"But I can't give you this." He has tears in his eyes, threatening to fall if he says anything else.
"What does that mean?" Confusion grips you tightly, his face giving nothing away.
"An apple pie life," he laughs at his own words, "I can't give you the house, and two kids, dinner by 6, it's all too much for that." He looks to the lake as if it could help him.
"Bucky," you gently take his chin, making him look at you, "what makes you think I want that?"
"The way you looked at me," he wipes a fallen tear from his cheek, "when I was playing with Cass and AJ today.
"Oh, Bucky." You kiss a tear away from the side of his nose, "I don't need any of that, hon. I just need you."
G - Goofy. (how serious are they when it comes to a relationship?)
☆ When it comes to a romantic relationship, Bucky can be pretty serious, while he is smooth/sly, 'goofy' isn't really the word I'd use to describe him. Not to say he wouldn't be funny, but I feel as though his humor is more sarcastic than anything.
(same thing as before)
H - Hugs. (how do they hug?)
☆ I imagine Bucky's skin to be cold, so that transfers to his hugs, but he's cold like a soft breeze on a hot beach. His hugs would also be very firm because of obvious reasons. If he's in an emotional mood, they may be slightly too hard, but never enough to hurt you.
You shiver slightly as his arms wrap around your frame, his head resting upon your shoulder. You two stay like that for a moment before he shifts his head into the crook of your neck, leaving a chaste kiss on it before planting his nose to touch your skin; eyelashes softly tickling you as he blinks.
"I miss you."
I - Interests. (what Interests do they want to share with their S/O?)
☆ Bucky's a fucking nerd, his main interests being motorcycles, fantasy novels (reading in general), folklore, and ancient history.
Bucky smiled widely as he firmly gripped some obscure fantasy novel with a dragon on the cover, unintentionally waving it around. He's excitedly explaining the novel to you, about how well written the book is, about how interesting the character dynamics are, and so on. You mirror his smile as you watch him talk, hanging on to every word that falls off his tongue.
You stand, your smile never wavering as you walk toward him, he stops talking, confused. Once you reach him, you pull him into your grasp, kissing his cheek, holding him close.
"What?" His voice lacking confidence, his smile now unsure.
"Keep talking." You mumble into him, "I like it when you talk." He grins and continues his rant.
J - Jealousy. (do they get jealous?)
☆ He can get jealous, this is do to his trust issues, but he's mature enough that he won't be a bitch about it unless you want him to, he'll just talk to you, and the two of you will work through it one way or another. He does get rather clingy when jealous, though, wanting to touch you in some way.
You and Bucky are currently at your workplace, your boss decided in order to boost morale that a company party was needed, and you (thankfully) convinced Bucky to go, promising it'll be quick.
Both of you were chatting with one of your work friends when they asked you to come help them get refreshments, leaving Bucky alone with their spouse. Bucky wanted to be nice, he did, but the spouse would not stop going on and on about some shit Bucky had never even heard of. So, naturally, his eyes wander trying to locate you, hoping that you'll come back and save him from this dreadful conversation, and that's when he saw it. Your co-worker was basically feeling you up, their eyes traced your figure as you bent over to grab a couple of waters from the case on the floor, and when you stood back up they grabbed your waist to "move you out of the way" of someone walking by.
The final straw was when you attempted to walk back to Bucky and their spouse, they grabbed you by the elbow stopping you from moving, the grip wasn't very hard from what Bucky could see, but the look on your face was enough to get him moving.
Bucky walked away from the spouse mid sentence. They called out at him, but he paid it no mind. He reached the two of you, and you smiled at him, saying something along the lines of "What couldn’t stand to be without me?" Bucky rolled his eyes when the co-worker asked what he was doing.
"Sorry to cut this short, but honey, we got to go." Overpronouncing the pet name, as he pulls you toward him.
"What? You just got here!" The co-worker joked, "Come on, y/n! The night is still young." He whined out.
"I'm sorry, but Buck's right. I promised to make dinner tonight in order for him to come." You laughed, pulling Bucky's hand into your grasp, "See you on Monday though." You smiled at them, causing Bucky to tighten the grip of his hand around yours.
The second the two of you walked out of the building Bucky pushed you against the wall of it, just barely out of view from the window, kissing you harshly. You opened your mouth in shock, giving Bucky the opportunity to slide his tongue in. His hands roam your body in search for nothing in particular, he smirks when you moan into the kiss, motivating him to pull as much of those pretty little sounds out of you as he can. He thinks of your co-worker, the slimy bastard, they could never have you like this, this thought makes his smile grow as he attaches to your neck, and slips his knee in between your legs. Once he's satisfied with your disheveled state, he silently walks away to the car, leaving you to follow him, confused, calling out for him to slow down.
K - Kiss. (how they kiss/favorite place to be kissed, and vise versa.)
☆ Bucky’s kisses are tender/soft, this is attributed to him subconsciously not wanting to hurt you in any way, so any time he touches you it's rather gentle. His lips tend to taste a little like blood, because he has a habit of biting them.
☆ His favorite place to kiss you is on your cheek, specifically with his hands on your hips as a form of greeting.
☆ His favorite place to be kissed is his neck, it feels special, a place just for you and no one else, it's a form of intimacy he hasn't been able to truly experience until now. He especially likes it when you hug him from behind kissing up from the top of his spine to his nape hairline.
Bucky uncomfortably cleaned the kitchen as he waited for you to return from work; he had recently moved in to your place, and it was just now starting to hit him how serious you guys were. You and him have been dating for quite a while, he stayed over more times than not, so it was only natural for you to ask him to move in. He said yes of course, how could he not? He thought about the two of you, about him no longer sleeping in your bed, but sleeping in his. Next to you. It's driving him insane, oh god - when did he start crying? Seriously though, how could you chose him? He just doesn't understand how this happened, how could you, of all people, want him? More tears. God, Bucky, pull yourself together man.
His thoughts screech to a halt as he hears the door open, he hears you call out his name, he doesn't respond, wiping the tears, this proved to be a lot harder to do as one's tears are still actively falling. You find him within a few seconds, he's facing the sink, you snicker at his concentration; you walk up to him, making sure not to be silent, though there’s not a doubt in your mind he knows you're there. You wrap your arms around his lower torso, placing your chin on his shoulder. His hands stop moving as he leans into the touch.
"Hey, Buck." You softly whisper, "You get out today?"
"Of course I have." He turns his head down slightly, trying to avoid eye contact, "You worry too much." He grumbles, he attempts to move his arms forward, but stops when he feels your lips graze his nape.
"I like worrying about you." Another kiss. "It keeps me grounded." You laugh into his neck.
"Please." He drags out the word in an almost whiney tone, moving his head back to get even closer to your mouth, "Please don't stop."
You consister teasing him, turning his chin to look at you, but stop when you see his wet cheeks you decide against it. You leave a kiss on the corner of his mouth as a sort of apology, before going back to what you were doing to the back of his neck.
"God, Buck, you know how much I love you?" You mumble into his skin after a few moments.
"No, I don't think I do," He smiles at the wall, "how much?"
You unravel your arms from around him, placing them on his shoulders, turning him to face you. You deeply press your lips onto his nose, causing him to scrunch his face, the kiss makes a humming sound, before a soft pop of your lips.
"That much, times like a thousand." You giggle at his soft expression.
"Wow. That's a lot." He remarks with faux amazement, trying to make it seem like you didn't just make his heart nearly beat out of his chest.
"Yeah it is." You exaggerate the words, gripping his cheeks for one last kiss.
L - Love Language.
☆ Bucky's love language is definitely acts of service. He enjoys doing things for you, and putting his skills to use, I think this can been seen in fatws when he helps Sam with repairing the boat, and getting him a new suit. He likes surprising you with household takes already completed when you get home, he absolutely basks in the praise you give him for doing this.
(yuck. This is where I officially give up on the scenes, as said prior if you want to see any specific ones just ask!!)
M - Meals. (kitchen dynamics.)
☆ Bucky doesn't like to cook with other people, you can watch for sure! But he doesn't like to share the space too closely, it just annoys him when people do things he believes he can do more efficiently.
☆ The two of you will most likely do A/B days when it comes to cooking and clean up, unless one person is pampering the other/it's a special occasion.
N - Nicknames. (what do they call their S/O?)
☆ His nicknames for you are obviously older, and slightly feminine (unless you tell him off), he starts you relationship with names like, doll, darling, and dove. As time progresses he will start incorporating handsome into his list of pet names. All that being said, I don't think he's too into pet names, for the most part he'll just say your real name.
O - Openness. (how open are they about their past/emotions with their S/O?)
☆ He starts telling you about his past in the form of jokes (like that one date scene in fatws). He's able to tell you about everything in a factual tone a few months into dating (just so he knows he trusts you), as far as his emotions surrounding it - that does obviously take longer, but in my opinion not by that much. The amount of emotion shared does vary, but maybe a month or two after he tells you about it for the first time, he'll start venting about his nightmares and such.
☆ also it does depend on how you view/retain media, because you might have already recognized his face/name.
P - PDA.
☆ Bucky is in the middle when it comes to PDA, he likes holding your hand, will give you goodbye kisses and such, but he doesn't go father then that. Half due to his social anxiety, half to him wanting the more intimate things to stay private.
Q - Quarrel. (how they apologize/ how long it takes them to forgive their S/O?)
☆ If Bucky feels he's in the right he can and will be petty, such as brushing you off, or making sarcastic comments. He typically won't confront you because of the attitude he holds, but when you decide to apologize he's ready to talk it out. He accepts your apology in time, (depending on what you did) but he is still standoffish for some time after, due to his trust issues.
☆ When he fucks up he is all over fixing it. He starts the apology in a very formal manner, stating how he knows he what he did was wrong, how he'll do better. The second part of the apology is him being (too) nice for the next week, as said on L his love language is acts of service so he'll overcompensate, and do every task you needed done.
R - Rules. (boundaries they have.)
☆ His "main" boundaries are focused around his past, such as you're not allowed to pry when it comes to asking about it - he will talk about it in his own time. You're also not allowed (at least for a long time) to touch the scars he has next to where his arm is attached, or the attachment itself. As far as other boundaries go, he doesn't want you to go further than hand holding, and a quick goodbye kiss in public, and he hates it when you pity him out right - keep that in your head.
S - Security. (how protective are they of their S/O?)
☆ He is very protective of you, not in a weird controlling way, but he always checks in out of fear someone will use you to get to him for one reason or another. This protectiveness isn't really that obvious, more just him checking in on you, and keeping an eye out when you're out together.
T - Time. (how long does it takes to fall for their S/O?)
☆ Bucky does take quite a bit of time to actually fall in love, but him finding you attractive/intriguing is very fast if not immediate. It takes about 2-3 months for him to ask you out (though he does flirt for a while first), and about 5-7 months of dating to "love" you.
U - Upset (what things upset them in a relationship?)
☆ He can get upset from a few things namely; everything said in R, when you grab him first in his post nightmare state or during/after a panic attack (he wants to be the one to initiate contact, because sometimes he doesn't want to be touched), and if you disagree on politics - although Bucky isn't the kind of guy to compromise on those so it most likely won't happen, because he wouldn't be dating you in the first place.
V - Vacation. (what kind of traveler are they with their S/O?)
☆ Bucky's a NERD!! He likes to go to places with rich history/culture, and he won't take a second to rest, he just wants to see everything, can you blame him? If you're the kind of person who wants to spend a day relaxing by the pool, I'm sorry, but he will leave you behind without hesitation.
W - Words. (promises they make to their S/O.)
☆ Bucky promises to never hurt you in any way shape or form, he promises to protect you agianst others who wish to harm you, and he promises to never leave you behind as he doesn't want anyone, especially you, to feel how he felt.
X - Xenial. (how they make you feel welcome/what makes them feel welcome?)
☆ Bucky likes to do little things for you to make you feel welcome/comfortable around him. This comes in different shapes and forms, such as complimenting you in every which way, making mental notes of things you like, and always being ready to help you out with anything you may need.
☆ Bucky feels the most welcome when it's explicitly said that he is. You using your words to validate him, not even compliment him, but just say he's doing fine, it does more for him then you could imagine.
Y - Yearning. (do they miss their S/O easily? what do they do about it?)
☆ Bucky is able to survive being isolated for long periods of time, even going as far to do it intentionally, but you've weakened him. He misses you rather fast. Now, it's not like he's going to cry over it or anything, but he will sometimes sit up at night unable to sleep without you next to him.
☆ Let's say that you two, for whatever reason, can't call. Bucky is an old fashioned guy, he likes to keep a least one physical photo of you on him at all times. He says it's his good luck charm; he would never tell you however, is that when you two are separated he keeps the photo as close as possible at nights because it calms him down from his nightmares.
Z - Zzz. (sleeping habits/how they cuddle.)
☆ As said so many times throughout this list, Bucky gets nightmares, and sometimes he can't fall back asleep afterwards so he gets up to go do his own thing, because of this while the two of you do sleep near eachother, you rarely cuddle. It's not even that he doesn't want to cuddle, he does, it's the fact he feels like a burden any time he wakes you, so instead he lied and told you he doesn't like them.
☆ Other sleep facts about him is that he runs hot at night, somewhere earlier it's said he's cold to touch, but for whatever reason he can not have more than one blanket on him, plus your body heat.
☆ His typical sleepwear is a pare of shorts, and if you want to count them, his dogtags. During the colder months he'll add a long sleeve shirt, or even just a standard tee, depends on his mood.
MARVEL MASTERLIST
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niphredil-14 · 2 days
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hey so how do you think the rottmnt boys would deal with their s/o mutating into a beautiful yet strong creature like a non poisonous snake but sharp teeth or tiger. It was painful. S/o isn’t going to be in their right mind for the next day. If the boys attempt to touch s/o or move them, s/o bites if snake/whacks if tiger, at their boyfriends arm as a warning and lets go while hissing. A day passes and s/o feels like themselves again yet they don’t remember what happened and they go find their boyfriend and are very confused and panicky, but they’re normal mentally again, “what happened? You’re the last thing I remember. Why am I a tiger/snake? What happened to your arm?” ?
I know this took forever im so sorryyy
Raph:
Realistically, I think that in the moment of the mutation, Raph would handle it the best. His years as leader really gave him the ability to compartmentalize, and to stay calm in the moment, and break down later. His focus would be on getting you out of the situation, and to somewhere safe enough to address what had happened. He would be at a loss for what to do. He is the brawn, and while he does have strategy skills, I don't think something as technical as a mutation would really be something in his skillset. He doesn't know how to guide you through it, all he can do it stay nearby and do his best to stay calm while trying to comfort you with sweet words, spoken softly. After you change, and are still in a foggy, confused mental state fear and anger, he will still not leave you. Even if you attack him. All I can imagine is him holding you close to him until you physically calm down, even if you're still not calm mentally, much lie how you would with a small, scared animal. You can scratch, bite, and attack him all you want, but he loves you, and will not leave you, no matter what. When you come to once more, right in your mind, but very different physically, I would imagine that you'd panic again, afraid. At least until you realize that you're being cradled by Raph, who is sitting against a wall, not fully asleep but having a little doze. His eyes would snap open upon feeling you squirm, and he would begin questioning and checking on you rapid-fire. You'd barely be able to get a word out. When he realized that you had no memory since before mutating, he would explain the situation as delicately as possible. Would honestly be great at caring for and supporting you post mutation. He's super sweet and understanding, and if anything, I think he might be a bit more comfortable dating a mutant because it would make him feel a bit less monstrous. Though I think he would love you regardless.
Leo:
Portals you out as soon as you begin mutating. I think that Leo would want to be close and hold you and comfort you while you turn, but when you begin attacking him, I think he would resign himself to sitting at the other end of the room from you, or observing through a portal in case you need anything. His heart would break, he is the type to want to sacrifice himself so that his loved ones never have to suffer anything ever in their entire lives, and the fact that he couldn't save you hurts him deeply. I think that once you were back to being yourself, he would be super attentive, but would try to seem a bit more chill than he was feeling. He would answer all your questions seriously, but would throw in a ton of jokes, to try to lighten the mood. This would be borderline infuriating, as it would likely be to such a degree that you would feel as though he wasn't taking you seriously. You would need to express this to him, but once you did, he would tone it down and be much more serious. I think that aside from a slight learning curve, your new form wouldn't really change your relationship.
Donnie:
Donnie would be full fledged panicking. Leo or Raph would probably have to slap him, and yell orders for him to snap out of it and get you to safety. He would bring you to his lab so that he could best monitor and assist you during your mutation. He would do his best to say physically with you, but once you start attacking, he would probably have his bots move you to a more secure part of the lab, where he would be safe behind some kind of glass while still being able to speak to and watch you. When you were once again in your right mind, he would explain everything that had occurred, and would give you time to process that before going over options with you. If you were fine to continue on as a mutant, it wouldn't change the way that he views you, but if you wanted to be human again, he would start working on a retro-mutagen. All in all I think that he would love you regardless, but would follow whatever course of action you wanted and would make you feel best about yourself.
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letterstojungmin · 5 months
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the way it took me 8 years to admit to myself that i never fell out of love with you that even now i look for you, i search for you, i yearn for you, I even long for a touch that I’ve never felt in the first place. i know im being so delusional but i would change the entire world to be allowed by your side again, to make it up to you. i miss you so much my love
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luck-of-the-drawings · 2 months
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smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.
#jrwi show#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying#nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess#ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so#i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little.#AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair.#AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair#both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother.#GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home#but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns.#he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again#not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO#i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED#all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis#but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum#and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it#youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales.#YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!!#you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound.#elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now.#this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes#BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply
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rapidhighway · 6 months
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mainapnifavouritehoon · 11 months
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hi guys i-
#Hey so i wanted to talk about this really bad this has been bothering me for quite some time#i have been busy a lot these days and i dont get time at all to do anything but i can see myself wasting my time just scrolling#I have school and then coaching and then ofc i have to study on my own for which i barely take out time as im highly careless#My last 2 exams went absolute shit and that fucking scares me because i'll be having my JEE soon#Mummy has been telling me to stay away from my phone and ik she trusts me but she but she deserves a daughter that studies ig?#And now i kind of consider that as an option because this phone is very very distracting#I have been thinking about deactivating but i realized it would mean i would lose all my precious posts and interactions#So i wont be deleting this blog as i am too attached (i will be coming back istg)#I will be taking a break and ig thats what yall call a hiatus#I will be giving away my phone to my parents (trust me i have to)#Ik this will be hard for me to just leave all of a sudden so i'll slowly start vanishing if that makes sense?#This message also doesnt mean that i will be shutting down my phone rn at this moment and that this is goodbye#This is just to prepare the people that i love and who love me that i will be highly inactive and not come online for maybe months#This is not an impulsive decisions i have really thought through this#Also just to tell you again MAIN ABHI GAYAB NAHI HONE WAALI BUT THODE TIME MEIN I WILL GO ON A BREAK THIS IS JUST A PRE HIATUS MESSAGE#Also i hope you guys will still love me and remember me once i come back#Because coming months are going to be hard for me#I hope you understand and ily guys okay?#(Oh god why am i so dramatic about everything) xoxo
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hey so do you think wtv keiko had to deal with growing up with yusuke could be considered a type of parentification
#god chapters where barely anything happens except a character's realization about things can be hard ...#im writing another keiko pov chapter and it's hard because well!!#keiko was never really a main focus in the series and as time goes on she gets even less of a focus so i have to fill in these spots#in her personality and views that aren't really explored. im taking a lot of liberties lets say#and idek if it's gonna read as in character cos of that#anyway im tryna say that like. pre series keiko was basically this presence in yusuke's life and he saw her as a pain but he cared#she was there to scold him and cajole him into going to his classes and she was his only friend#now we know atsuko was negligent and idk how involved the yukimuras were in his life but i feel like keiko#whether directly or indirectly was given this duty like you have to keep him outta trouble#you're smart you're mature he needs someone like you. this responsibility just kind of put on her before she can understand the weight of i#and she can't really comprehend that weight until it's abruptly taken from her. yusuke dies and there's no one to shepherd#i feel like keiko should get to be mad about this. this realization of the nature of their dynamic. keiko planning things around yusuke#who's never done that in his life. not because he's purposely being thoughtless but bc he was never the one to have to plan#to think about what their future looks like. he just kinda drifted along and keiko tried to do damage control. it wasn't fair#yusuke is keeping secrets from her she is scared of high school and that he'll die again without her knowing why and it's unfair#so she should get to be mad also because girls getting to be mad is one of my favorite things 👍🏼#the realization that yusuke won't be lost without her so she shouldn't hinge her life on the expectation that he will be#she worries about yusuke a lot i think. especially after he comes back from the dead. and i think kuwa's presence would help ease that#dread in her heart. it doesn't have to be just me. there's someone who can be there with him always and it doesn't have to be me#the guilty relief of not having to be the sacrifice. but kuwa doesn't mind so maybe it's okay this way#idk just rambles about my fic while i puzzle out how to word it#character analysis#yukimura keiko#yu yu hakusho
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syrasenturi · 1 year
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scribbly amphibbies
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bonus christmas garfapillar
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agentark · 1 year
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R Verner, opening their mouth: 😎😏😉
S Dorran, milliseconds later: 🤨😑🤔
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exhibit a
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exhibit b sofia, we're all about to die can you roast ruby later
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thedeadthree · 1 year
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OLGA + logans girl lilith (tlou) ⚕️ | IRYNA + vasil (tlou) 🐈‍⬛
IOVANNA (hotd) 🔮 | UNA (hotd) 🐍
MARTA + the special directive (fhr) 🧬 | MARTA (fhr) 🔪
MARTA in book 2 (fhr) 💀 | VASHA + arkay (eso) 🌊
TAGGED BY the dears @noonfaerie, @leviiackrman, @marivenah, @corvosattano and @shadowglens to make the dears in this picrew! ty ty so much! <3
TAGGING: @feystepped, @risingsh0t, @griffin-wood, @jendoe, @kingsroad, @phillipsgraves, @chuckhansen, @queennymeria, @denerims, @morvaris, @girlbosselrond, @detectivelokis, @jacobseed, @jackiesarch, @unholymilf, @nightbloodraelle, @florbelles, @confidentandgood, @adelaidedrubman, @gwynbleidd and you!
#only if you want to of course 🥀❣️#oc: olga litvinchuck#oc: iryna pasternak#oc: iovanna dayne#oc: una nathaira uller#oc: marta chaykovski#oc: vasha uhlchesis#she really was the dog parent that was like 😵‍💫?? but then after meeting baby lilith would do ANYTHING for her#became a dog mom overnight ! love that for u my precious ! thats my neurosurgeon NEUROSURGEON OF MY HEART#iryna and her baby the self titled prince of new harbor and the biggest hurdle raul will have to get past is winning him over sisjjxhx#lucky for them both he doesn’t take very long to love him as much as she does 🥀😌#UNA AGAIN BABY GIRL YOUR ARE SO STRANGE AND OFF PUTTING ! queen of mine and aeggys hearts ! <3#i also realized that her mother is from a house sworn to house ilmestys <3 very very excited to introduce all of them including theirs!!!!!#vanna you ethereal dear girl you! THATS MY MISTRESS OF MISTS! the violet necklace to match her eyes wasn’t at all a gift from daemy 🔮💜😌#and wanted to do a before sidestep book one and book 2 looks of marta! evolution of rasputina hehe <3#book two the dinner scene with ortega <3 IM MOVING @ A SNAILS PACE READING BUT WHEN I READ THE DEMO THE SHRIEK I SHRIEKED! 🖤#it was such a cute scene and then talking about their feelings had me EMOTIONAL#dear girl vasha i will get the chance to play you SOON 🌊✨😭 maormer of my heart! my sea dear !!!!!!#leg.tagged#leg.ocs#i am also RATHER late so please feel free to pass if you’ve done this already! 🥀❣️#t: picrews
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coffeeandcalligraphy · 9 months
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ok ok so you know how my life has majorly revolved around my pain since july & how that has been extremely difficult :) well lately I find myself getting up later than I want to & making my bed as badly as I possibly can & getting out of the house after noon when I planned to get out in the morning & walking to the library when it’s sunny & sitting there for hours & the whole time I’m most concerned with writing & that it’s incredible what I’m doing, it’s a little paradise
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lionblaze03-2 · 19 days
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sometimes I think about writing and singing music not because I’m an incredible singer but because no one has my fucking voice, especially in popular music, and its disheartening to be born a girl, told you’ll only get girl roles or try to voice match other girls, or ‘sing with the girls’ and then only be able to match male voices because you’re a fuckin tenor and not anything higher. I can’t think of any girl Broadway roles I can hit all the notes on. Most songs I love I have to pitch down for myself or use falsetto for singing along to. It bothers me a lot less now because I’m an adult who’s more secure in myself but as a teen in kids musical theatre it FUCKED with me, BAD style. And I know for a fact that even now when I hear people with a voice like mine singing I get excited and immediately invested in their work because they’re like ME, finally, for once. A brother in this world of being afab and having the voice of a recently pubescent boy forever. Maybe I should be that brother too.
#Using randomly gendered words because that’s me now but hey#Regardless of if you were born afab and are a girl 100% or if you were born afab and are someone else#It STILL sucks to always be grouped along with ‘girls’ just because of your voice and realize#You CANT hit that. You can’t hit the mark for ‘girl’. You’ll never achieve that without like. Hrt#Just say THE VOCAL CLASS. Like. Sopranos sing with this. Tenors with this. Bass with this. Etc#Then it doesn’t hurt! But nooo instead they’re looking or ‘sing with the other girls’ and you fucking can’t#And it gives you a crisis at age 14#Anyway all I know is when other people who were assigned female at birth and aren’t on something they changes ones voice#and just happen to have born with the same deep ass voice as me. It makes me proud to hear them use it#Because not enough people do. It’s like we’re all collectively embarrassed or something#I see so many sad posts from teenagers posting their dream roles and the reason they won’t get it is ‘girl’#and it’s like. I remember being that kid. Never able to get a female lead because of my voice. Never able to get a male lead because of gir#Even though my voice and appearance could easily swing male. Nope! You’re GIRL. So you’re doomed to background forever :)#I got 1 lead role and it was when I was at my most feminine and was also for a villain that was a fat hag#I LOOOOVED playing her im aunt sponge forever. BUT. Never getting one again after that… showed me. Something#More gender blind casting and more songs just written for tenors please#doing just ONE of those things would probably solve the issue#But both please because I’m greedy and I want what I couldn’t have for every kid today#(And also me in the future in adult community theatre. Haven’t had time/too intimidated so far but I WILL go back)#And before anyone questions the language on this post. I STRUGGLED with how to word it#TERFs begone. I love trans people. I am nonbinary and some form of intersex (pcos).#I just word it this way because of like. Where we all start#Whether we stay GIRL girls or realize we’re somewhere in between. It crushes us either way to have the ‘wrong’ voice to do anything#Because it did me at first. And I’m otherwise GLAD to be confusing#I’ve come to love my deep voice it baffles others and they never know what to call me it really helps the whole ‘what am I’ presentation#But. In terms of certain things. Like being in theatre in the deep south#It certainly does not help and can be disheartening#Especially back when I was younger and more self conscious#lion’s lair
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spokelseskladden · 2 years
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no but actually, when I was like 16 I decided to get in deep with the cult, like fanatically deep. Donating my entire allowance and dedicating myself to biweekly bible study deep. Mainly because I had deluded myself into thinking that if only I could become a perfect jehovah’s witness, god would heal my crippling gender dysphoria by either taking pity on me and simply give me a dick and testosterone for the low price of my freedom and dignity, or alternatively taking it away all together and let me live my life blissfully as a cis woman for all eternity in paradise. The latter never sounded appealing to me, and I’m not going to pretend that the blatant sexism within the cult wasn’t a part of it at all, but even if you removed it, I still didn’t particularly care for having tits. I did realize that the former alternative probably wasn’t likely to happen in the end, and that’s probably one of the big reasons I never could admit to actually just being a guy, even though it was kinda obvious. Cause when you know you can’t ever have something, it’s easier to pretend you never wanted it in the first place, lol
#ex jw#isn't it funny that I even entertained the idea of fucking JEHOVAH giving me top surgery or some shit?#dude are you daft? the babykiller who hates the gays? You really think THAT GUY would support trans rights?#also. my OG mutuals probably remembers me sort of coming out as nonbinary back then‚ and i want you to know that I was not#practically everything I ever said about my gender back then wasn't real and I KNEW it wasn't real. I was just scared as fuck lol#cause I couldn't open that can of worms and then close it again. and like yeah. experimenting with gender can be great and important#but I wasn't experimenting‚ I knew it wasn't completely right from the moment I said it and idk. I want that out in the open I guess lol#funny thing is I kinda did that thing AGAIN not that far back when I was like oh yeah any pronouns goes :) oh no it's they/them achtually#oh now im he/they and oh I just want to define anything and blah blah blah#and I was sitting there and I just asked myself what the hell I was doing cause you're a grown ass man and you KNOW you're spewing bullshit#like i thought i would keep things ambigous but in hindsight. the url i had and having my other name in my bio was kinda stupid#in my defence i didn't think about my url and i still don't really mind my legal name so lol#but i realized i was just pussyfooting around everything and i'm tired of it so yeah!#anyway. look at me revealing my fucking lore here. i've gotten way off track and idk what i was trying to get to#if you read this far you get like. knowledge about me you probably didn't want#you're welcome i guess? idk lol#insert drive through meme or something
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arielluva · 27 days
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actually so funny (it isn't) that everytime i struggle to do something and i tell my parents about it they just respond with "you just have to do it." like. guys. if i could "just do it" i would NOT be complaining about not being able to do it!!
#this has happened so many times. why is that their default response#during online school 'i have 87 missing assignments and i cant concentrate on them. help.' 'just do them?' 'wow why didnt i think of that..#or my dad trying to imply that i had that many missing assignments on purpose??? buddy i am the same kid that would've rather died than-#-miss school. do you seriously think i would be behind on that shit on purpose??? in what world#every single time i struggle to do something and want advice they just tell me to do it. as if i couldn't have thought of that#especially when i realized part of why online school didnt work for me is because school and home were no longer separate#whenever i was at school (or just a general separate place where im Supposed to work on stuff) i could do it just fine#outside of school i would procrastinate so bad and have no motivation or concentration for anything#i told my mom i needed a separate place to work that wasnt my room and my personal computer. she told me to 'just do it'#and suddenly when i have a separate room and computer to work on (especially in a room i already had to work in before that)#suddenly i was able to concentrate! and get shit done!#and yet this same situation will probably happen again lol. bc my parents dont like listening and taking my mental problems seriously#but like. getting my own space allowed me to finish like 5 tarot cards in quick succession. in the previous MONTHS i only finished 3.#'hm i wonder why i could finish so many cards within a week. surely its not because of what my child said would help.'#like it mustve just been that i locked in somehow. not that i got accommodations.#anyway holy fucking essay i just typed out. i need to shower rn anyways. enough rambling from me for now
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mifunebooty · 11 months
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Happy one year anniversary to one of the biggest mental breakdowns of my life That made me see i have to start changing my life to better myself and my relationships with others by being responsible for my mental illness upkeep and stop living for others and live for me and now im taking film and theatre classes with a job on the side and have a short movie to my credit
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