#im not sure when ill be updating taking it slow next tbh

[atlafan]

Take it Slow - Part Sixty

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: Fluff and Smut.

Shorter part than usual...

Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)

Harry thought he was gonna go bananas. Your extra heavy period had passed, and you started your new pack of pills, but you still had refrained from doing anything remotely sexual. Other than a few kisses here and there. You two had been intimate basically since your third date, Harry didn’t know what to do with himself. You wouldn’t even blow him, and you certainly hadn’t let him touch you. The scare you had was barely worth being scared over, but the whole thing had still made you feel uneasy.

He couldn’t remember the last time he actually had to relieve himself, but he just couldn’t hold out anymore. It wasn’t nearly as satisfying as he had hoped it would be. But how could it be satisfying when all he wanted was you. He was starting to get anxious because once April hit his weekends were going to be really busy. No more just lazing around in bed. He didn’t want this no sex thing to continue.

“Babe?” He asks you as you come out of the shower Saturday morning.

“Yeah?”

“Can we talk for a second?” You look at him. He was sitting up in bed, twiddling his thumbs. You walk over and sit on the edge of the bed where he was.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Sort of awkward to talk about, but...we haven’t had sex in a while.” Your face flushes. You really hadn’t noticed how long it had been. Ten days maybe? Almost two weeks? “Is everythin’ okay?”

“I’m sorry, I hadn’t noticed how long it had been.” His face falls. “That sounded worse than I meant it to. I just wanted to hop onto my new pack of pills before we did anything.”

“And you have.”

“Yeah, I’ve just barely finished the first week so we need to be careful.”

“So let’s be careful.”

“I think we should use condoms for a while…just as an extra precaution.”

“Um…okay, we could do that.”

“I think it would make me feel better.” You put your hand over his. “I’m sorry.”

“S’okay…just…you haven’t even let me touch you, and you haven’t touched me.”

“I haven’t wanted to.” You say bluntly, but your eyes gloss over at the same time, so he sees your agony. “I know I’m being stupid…”

“You’re not.” He moves his hand to cup your cheek. “Just don’t like you pullin’ away from me like this.”

“I’m not.” You lean into his touch and kiss his palm. “I’ve not gone anywhere, my doll.” He smiles at his favorite pet name.

“I really like it when you call me that.”

“What?”

“Your doll.”

“You do?”

“Mhm, don’t know why, but I like it a lot. You don’t do it a lot though, only sometimes.”

“Want me to say it more?”

“Mhm.” He smiles big as you crawl into his lap, straddling him. “Where’d you come up with it?” Your cheeks heat with embarrassment and you hide your face in the crook of his neck.

“My Nannie used to call my Papa that.” He wraps his arms around you and rubs your back.

“Ah. And what would he call her.”

“Hun mostly, or lovey, he’s called her lovey a lot. She’d call him dolly sometimes too.”

“And he’d call you baby right?”

“Mhm.” You smile against his neck. Then you burst out laughing.

“What?”

“Well, he was Papa right?” You lift your head to look at him. “So one day when I was visiting them I heard her ask him a question and she said, ‘would you like that, poo?’” You start laughing harder. “And he just nodded yes.”

“They sound really cute.”

“They were, they were very cute.” You tuck your head back where it was. “I’m not quite in the mood at the moment, but maybe later tonight, yeah?”

“I’ll be here.” He kisses the top of your head. He was happy just to have the cuddle.

//

“Babe?!” Harry yelled from up in the loft.

“Yeah?!” You said, coming from the kitchen.

“Can yeh come up here a minute?”

You make your way up the spiral staircase and cross your arms over your chest.

“What’s up? I’m in the middle of making dinner?”

“Just wanted you to see my weekend schedule for the next few months, and it’s just gonna get busier. Sometimes I’m able to double book weddings if one’s the mornin’ and the other is in the evenin’.” You squint at the calendar on the screen. “Do you want me to print it for you so you have it?”

“Sure.” You shrug. “Whatever.” You smile. You move to make your way down the stairs, but he grabs your wrist.

“Don’t you, um, don’t you care that I’m going to not be around a lot?”

“Of course I do, but it’s out my control isn’t it? And it’s not like I can crash every wedding you go to. I’ll find ways to fill my time. I’ll still have homework and other things to do. I’ll probably just hang out with the girls more.”

“You could come to some of the shoots, you could be like my assistant.” You scoff.

“Oh honey, you and I are both too much of a perfectionist to work together, and you know it.” He chuckles.

“You’re right.” He pulls you closer to him.

“I’m making dinner, let me go finish it up.” He lets go of you reluctantly. He prints the calendar for you and comes down the stairs to join you in the kitchen.

“Whatcha make, smells good.”

“Just some stirfry, nothing special.” You put some into two bowls for the both of you. “There’s some tofu in there too.”

“Thanks babe.”

You both sit down to eat. You get a call from Rachel.

“Hey!” You say cheerily.

“Hey, are you busy tonight, know it’s last minute.”

“Um…” You look at Harry. “We’re just sort of having a night in, why?”

“Sarah and I were thinking of going out and having some fun. The boys can come too, I could invite Mariah. We’re just bored ya know?”

“Ooo, yeah, maybe we could go to Tucci’s? Haven’t been there since the fall.”

“Great idea! Wanna meet up around nine?”

“Works for me!” You hang up the phone and look at Harry.

“I really don’t feel like goin’ out drinkin’ tonight…” He says.

“Then stay home.” You shrug as you take another bite of food. “I mean, you don’t have to drink. I may not even drink. It would jut be fun to go hang out with our friends.”

“So if I did stay home, you wouldn’t care?”

“Harry.” You sigh. “What is with you today?”

“Excuse me?”

“You keep trying to pick a fight with me.”

“No I don’t.”

“Yes, you do. You keep asking me if I care or not, of course I care. I’m not going to force you to go out if you don’t want to, but I’m also not going to stay in if I don’t want to.” You get up and clean your plate. “Come, don’t come, it’s up to you.”

“See, that’s what makes me think you don’t care.”

You were about to groan heavily, maybe even yell at him, but you were starting to recognize his behavior. He was being needy. You hadn’t really loved on him, and you did sort of tell him that tonight you would. Your sex drive had disappeared because of all the hormone change, maybe going out could fix that.

“I’m sorry.” You say calmly. “I’d really like it if you came out with everyone tonight. You’re so much fun, and it wouldn’t be any fun without you.”

“Alright…I guess I could go.” You smile big for him.

Later on you both get ready. You opt for a pair of jeans and black, quarter length sleeve crop top. You decide to leave your hair down and straight for a change. Harry sticks with his black jeans and a white t-shirt. His pearls looked sort of miss-matched, but he always wore them no matter what, just as you wore the rose ring on the chain he had gotten you.

“Ready?”

“Yeah, are we just meetin’ ‘em there?”

“Mhm, well, Niall is ordering an uber for the four of us, and then we’re going to meet Rach and Mariah there.”

“Cool.” He looks you up and down. “Cute.” You wrap your arms around him.

“You look pretty sexy yourself.” You wink and let him go.

You meet up with Niall and Sarah across the street and climb in the uber. Niall volunteered to sit in the front knowing that Harry would want to stay seated next to you. You sat in the middle, and Harry kept his arm around you, pulling you as close as possible to him. Sarah took your picture because she thought the two of you just looked so cute.

“Your hair’s starting to get long Harry.” Sarah says.

“Yeah, I’m ‘bout due for a haircut I suppose.” You run your hand through it.

“Maybe just a trim.” You giggle, and he kisses the top of youe head as you lean into him.

You all greet Rachel and Mariah who are holding hands when you see them. You all find a high-top to stand at so you can decide on what you all want to drink.

“Might just have a seltzer with lime, what do you want?” Before you can answer, Sarah cuts in.

“Tequila shots, that’s what we’re doing tonight.” Your face lights up. “I’ll get plenty of limes for everyone, and salt.”  She drags Niall up to the bar to help her.

“Guess that’s what I’m having.” You chuckle. “I can get us a pitcher of water if you want babe?”

“I can go-“

“S’okay, I got it.” He watches you walk up to the bar.

“Not drinking tonight, H?” Mariah asks him.

“Nah, not really in the mood.”

“Is everything okay?” Rachel asks.

“Yeah, just don’t feel like gettin’ crazy is all.” He smiles at her reassuringly. He looks back over at you. You were giggling while talking with the bartender. He hands you a pitcher of water and some plastic cups, and you come back over. “What was so funny?”

“What?” You set everything down on the table.

“The bartender made you laugh.”

You suck your teeth and pour yourself a cup of water. Niall and Sarah come back with the shots. You hand the water to Harry. You, Sarah, and Rachel all lick your hands for the salt, take the shot, and sink your teeth into the limes. Harry, Niall, and Mariah all stood there stunned. They had all seen you do it before, but it always amazed them.

“Mm.” You say taking the lime out of your mouth, and wipes the juice from your chin with the back of your hand. “That taste never gets old.”

“Okay, let’s hit the dance floor.” Sarah says.

Rachel looks at Mariah.

“I’m gonna hang with the boys for a bit, I’ll meet you out there.”

“Okay.” She smiles and walks over to the dance floor with you and Sarah.

“She needed this ya know.” Niall says to Harry. “She’s been in a funk at work the last couple of weeks.”

“Yeah, in a funk at home too.” He sighs, sipping on his water.

“Trouble in paradise, H?” Mariah asks, tipping her head back to take her shot.

“No…she’s just been uneasy. We had a little slip up a couple weeks ago, nothing major.”

“Define slip up?” Niall looks at him deeply concerned.

“Nothin’ like what you’re thinkin’. She…missed one of her pills. Obviously she’s fine now, but she was worked up about it.”

“That’s so scary!” Mariah says. “What did you guys do?”

“She had me take her to the drug store so she could get a Plan B, and that was that. Got her period, and then she started a new pack of pills.”

“How’d she forget to take it? You know Sarah gets a shot every few months so she doesn’t have to worry about it.”

“It was the day after your party, we were both hungover, we slept in late…and then we…ya know.” He takes another sip of water. “If we hadn’t then it probably would’ve been fine.”

“Even still…” Mariah says. “You guys definitely did the right thing.”

“We haven’t since then.” Niall’s jaw drops.

“You two haven’t fucked in two weeks?” There was complete and udder shock on his face.

“Shut up.” Harry nudges him.

“Sorry, just really surprisin’ t’hear.”

“Have you talked with her about it?” Mariah asks.

“Yeah we did this mornin’… says we need to start usin’ condoms more just in case.” He groans.

“Just be happy you still get to have sex, dude.” Mariah says putting her hand on his shoulder with a smile.

“You know, you have no idea how good and easy you have it. You don’t have to worry about getting’ pregnant, or gettin’ anyone else pregnant. You can just fuck all yeh want and it’ll be fine.”

“You’re exactly right.” She looks back at the three of you dancing. “Think it’s time I get over there.”

She joins the three of you and you all cheer.

“Don’t tell her I told you.” Harry says to Niall. “Some things just need to stay between us lads.”

“I gotcha, no worries.” Niall takes his shot. “C’mon, take your shot.” Harry nods and takes his. They both join the group.

You smile at Harry and take your hands in his to dance with him. You thought he looked really good tonight. You loved when you could actually see his tattoos peak through his clothes. A slower song comes on and you all pair up accordingly. You wrap your arms around his neck, and his hands rest on your hips.

“Are you glad you came out? Because I’m glad you did.”

“Yeah, I am.” He leans down to kiss your nose.

The six of you have a great time, but all nights must come to an end at some point. You all say goodnight to Mariah and Rachel as you climb into your shared uber. You had a large SUV this time. You and Harry sit in the way back. Niall had his arm around Sarah, and they chatted quickly. Harry practically had you in his lap. Your neck was craned while he planted open mouthed kisses on you. Just as he bites into you, you whimper and Niall and Sarah turn to look at you both.

“Could you two wait the ten fuckin’ minutes the car ride is gonna take until you start in with all that.” Harry lets go of your neck with a popping noise. Sarah’s mouth falls open and mouths oh my god when she looks at you.

“Actually, it’s a twenty minute ride. Ask him to turn up the music if you don’t wanna hear.”

“Harry, he’s right, we should-“

He practically tackles you, pinning your back to the seat. He had so much pent up energy from being deprived, and he couldn’t stand it anymore. It only take his a second to get his tongue into your mouth and you shut up immediately, wrapping your arms around him.

“Jesus Christ.” Niall sighs. “Mate, mind turnin’ the music up?” The driver does as asked.

Every once in a while they hear a giggle or two from one of you while you continue to have an aggressive makeout in the back of the uber. You felt sort of silly with your friends around, but you couldn’t find a way to care with the way Harry was kissing you, practically bruising your lips. He moved his mouth back to your neck, and essentially attacked you.

“Oi! We’re here.” Niall says. Harry helps you sit up, you looked fucked out and you hadn’t even fucked yet.

The four of you get out of the car, you wrap your arms around him and kiss on his neck while the four of you stand on the sidewalk. Harry’s arms are wrapped right around you.  

“So…I guess hanging out for a bit is out now…” Sarah says.

“Sorry guys, ngh, not tonight. Another time though. Have a good night.” Harry says. “I know I’m about to.” He says under his breath as he pulls you across the street.

//

“Holy shit.” Sarah says to Niall as they head up to his apartment. “He’s like an animal.”

“That was nothin’.” He says as they get inside.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve literally been in a car with him, a group of us, while he’s fucked someone in the backseat.”

“Did you hear the popping sound when he let go of her neck? How does that not hurt?”

“People like what they like babe.”

“I know, but Jesus.” She giggles. “I’ve never known Y/N to be so okay with PDA like that.”

“Yeah I figured she’d tell him to quit it.” He shrugs.

//

Harry gets you upstairs to your apartment, your lips had barely left his skin the entire time. You wanted it just as bad as him, he riled you up in the car pretty good. Once you’re inside you’re pinned up against a wall, and you’re sucking his bottom lip into your mouth. He groans as he presses himself against you. He was rock hard.

“Alright.” He breathes, and picks you up, carrying you to the bedroom.

You tug at the hem of his shirt and practically rip it off him. You unbutton and unzip his jeans and yank them down his legs. You push him back onto the bed, and kneel in front of him. He was breathing heavily, and he hissed when he felt your hand on his cock. You both moan when you wrap your lips around his tip. You suckle on it, then run the tip of your tongue along his slit. You lap up all the precome that had been leaking from him.

“Fuck.” He says, hands flying to your hair as he bucks his hips up. “Take your clothes off, please. Need you now.”

You stand up and take your shirt off, throwing it at him. He chuckles as you slide your pants down your legs, taking your panties with them. He sits up and you stand between his legs. His hands go right for your ass cheeks and his mouth wraps around one of your nipples. You head falls back as twists the piercing with his teeth. His hands slide down slightly to grip the backs of your thighs.

“Want you to sit on my face, will yeh do that?” He asks looking up at you. You nod your head yes.

Harry gets farther back on the bed so his head was resting on his pillow. You didn’t sit on his face often, but when you’d do it, it always felt incredible. You straddle his face, and slowly lower yourself onto him. You grip the head board when you feel his tongue on you. It swirls all around your folds as his hands hands knead the globes of your ass. He suckles on your clit and you let out a moan. You rock your hips back and forth on his face, needed that extra friction. The stubble on his chin felt like heaven.

“Fuck, Harry.” It was music to his hears, and even better that he was hearing his favorite song for the first time in two weeks.

He flicks his tongue faster on you, and before you know it you’re absolutely screaming from your overdue release. You move off of him while trying to catch your breath. He wipes his face with the back of his hand and smile at you. He moves to pull you down to him, but you inch back.

“Condom.”

“Babe, do we-“

“You want this cunt, you put the condom on.” His mouth falls open. It was a word you rarely said, if it all, so he knew you meant business.

He gets up and goes into the bathroom as you lay down and wait for him. He comes back with three condoms in his hand, and places two on your bedside table.

“A little presumptuous don’t you think?” You ask propping yourself up on your elbows.

“If you think you’re getting off easy tonight, you’re fuckin’ crazy.” He tears the condom open and slides it on his dick. “Now, open those legs, I have some work to do.” You giggle as he gets on top of you.

You were glistening for him, and he couldn’t wait to get inside. You groan softly when you feel him push the tip in, and he slowly pushes the rest of the way in with gritted teeth. He couldn’t feel you fully of course, and he hated it. He hated this stupid fucking condom, but it was your call and he had to respect that. He looks down at your and your head was rolled back in your pillow. He smirks as he start to rock his hips back and forth.

“Harry.” You moan as his hands find their way to your breasts.

“Want me to fuck yeh over and over, angel?”

“Yes, please.”

He fucked you into the mattress, there was no doubt about that. He ended up using four condoms instead of three. Once in a while he’d take a break and just finger you. He fucked you with him on top, he fucked you with you on top, he fucked you on both of your sides. He got you up to seven orgasms. Not quite the ten or even eleven that he was striving for, but he knew he’d get there eventually. You admitted that you were feeling raw and it was time for him to come one last time, so he did.

Once you had gone to the bathroom, barely able to walk, you crawl into bed with him. You lay your head on his chest, and his arm goes around you.

“Please, don’t ever make me suffer like that again.” He says, playing with your hair.

“I’m sorry baby, I didn’t realize you were in such agony.”

“It was awful. I wanted you everyday. I know not everything is about sex, but…”

“I didn’t mean to make you feel unwanted.” You look up at him. “I just…between being scared and the way my hormones were all out of wack, I just didn’t have the drive, I’m sorry.”

“S’okay.” He kisses you tenderly on the lips.

“Never stopped loving you though.” He smiles and kisses you again.

“I should hope the fuck not.” You giggle and settle back down on his chest.

“Think we scarred the two of them for life, Niall and Sarah?”

“Nah, wasn’t Niall’s first time seein’ me like that in a car with someone.”

“Maybe just Sarah then. She’s never really seen me like that in public.”

“Was fun makin’ out in the car.”

“Yeah, it was.” You feel your eyes get droopy.

“Love you, angel.”

“Love you too, my doll.”

#harry styles #take it slow #harry styles x reader #harry styles y/n #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff fic #harry styles smut fic #harry styles fic #imagine if i just ended the story here lmao #im not sure when ill be updating taking it slow next tbh #im not sure where i want to take it #i really dont feel like writing about the aruba trip #maybe a time jump? #but i hate time jumps so maybe not

[insertdisc5]

Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!

thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)

spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk

not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts

-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol

-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!

-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)

-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN

-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD

-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;

-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)

-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste

-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.

-noelle. noelle. girlboss!

-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself

-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!

-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.

-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!

-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in

-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.

-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)

-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)

-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp

-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like

-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES

-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.

-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?

-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?

-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!

-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows

-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0

-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing

-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you

-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard

that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk

#ask tag #deltarune #deltarune spoilers #snowgrave spoilers

[oh-theatre]

You Can't Force A Fairytale (Chapter 1)

Chapter title: Into The Unknown

A/n:  aaaaAAAAAA me starting another series?? but ofc!! I'm actually so excited because um yes! Also, this seems so confusing I'm sorry!! I'm trying AAAAAA!! Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, please please leave me comments!! Also!! Objection! is still going and will still be updated regularly (probs more than this tbh) I just really wanted to get this out 

also if this is confusing i understand, so please tell me and ill try and clear it out!

words: 2064

summary: Virgil is suddenly thrown into this magical world of kingdoms and royalty. Coming from the modern world into this fairytale land isn’t easy but he meets some eccentric people. He has to collect 3 amulets from three princes to return home. The loveable Prince Logan, the radiant Prince Roman, and the passionate Prince Patton. Of course, all fairytale have dark and evil just wafting through… It definitely isn’t what Virgil expected to get up to during his winter break…if it even was winter here

pairings: Eventual logicality, eventual prinxiety, eventual demus, eventual remile (These might change but for now im love them)

warnings: bow and arrow, violence, injuries, magic, swearing

Ao3 Link  

“Come on!” Patton squeals as his horse simply races faster. He takes a step stabilizing himself as he takes upon the holster. He looks behind him, steadying his bow as his eyes make contact with one of the king's men. He aims a little lower, firing away instantly grabbing the reins of his horse. He smiles giddy allowing himself to take a right turn into the forest, disappearing in the ember trees ablaze with a fiery passion.

“You're going to get caught one day” Logan chides helping Patton down from his steed, Patton laughs falling comfortably into his arms, his boots landing on the rough terrain. “Pat, it's not funny!”

“No, it’s not” Patton pouts, hardly keeping his giggles under control. “I’m sorry, it's just ah! The excitement!” Patton keeps a hold on Logan’s hand, their gloves keeping them apart. The rustle of leaves alerting them as they reseat themselves upon Nork. “My liege” Patton teases, Logan flicks him gently wrapping his arms around Patton's waist. A shivered tickle runs down Patton, Logan lays his head on the prince’s shoulder.

“Ready” Logan tightens his grip, nervous even though he'd been on the horse a million times, Patton allows his face to dust a light pink.

“Giddyup!” He taps the reins lightly, and off they go. “Try and come after us now...your highness” He mocks sweetly, Logan laughs simply deepening his hold.

~~~

“Ow, my head” Virgil groans sitting up, his body feeling heavier than it had. His clutches the ground around him seizing as the grass tickles his fingers carefully. “What the…” He watches the world around him, realizing the snow had disappeared and the roof keeping him safe to play games all day was gone. Panic set in but he allows it to be surface level, don’t let it dig through you...don’t let it.

“Are you alright?” Virgil didn’t mean to jump but the voice had felt embodied. Like if it was in his head of sorts, but alas. Virgil fears what might come should he look up but does so anyway, meeting a curious young boy around his own age. “Oh! I’m sorry! I hadn’t meant to startle you!” His voice was so...posh? His clearly English accent felt so sophisticated, Virgil was embarrassed to speak. His gruff mumbles nothing compared. “I’m Dolion” The boy extends his hand, allowing Virgil to caution his way towards it.

“Virgil” He greets, dusting himself off. Should he have done that? What if this kid was trying to murder him? He takes a breath, reminding himself of what his therapist had told him should he find himself in a dire situation. Being transported millions of ways from home definitely qualified, right? “D-do you know where we are?” He wonders, still taking in his surroundings. Dolion shakes his head, looking just as confused.

“Peculiar” The boy decides, picking up a small flower. The yellow radiated from his hand before exploding shortly after. The boys jumped back, fear upon their faces.

“What the actual hell?” Virgil questions, now much more aware of where his feet were. “What was that?” He murmurs, treading lightly as he joins Dolion, examining the remains.

“I have absolutely no idea” He replies, his hand grazing the grass, more curious than frightened. “Oh...my! Virgil look!” Dolion taps incessantly, Virgil turns ready to condemn him but his eyes fall widening as they lay upon a castle.

“Holy…” Virgil trails off, he must be dreaming. Quickly rubbing his eyes he takes a deep breath. Ok, scenarios. One; he was kidnapped. Two; He’s dreaming. Three; He’s been drugged.  This couldn’t be real? When had his breathing felt short, hold on...focus? “Eyes” He mumbles

“Eyes?” Dolion repeats, Virgil shakes his head, the world becoming less of a blurry image.

“Sorry, I’m good” He lies “Let’s just figure out where the fuck we are” How he was so calm? It had to be the weird aura the floated softly over the land, he felt...at home

I gotta get out of here

…

Wherever here is

~~~

“Mm tired” Patton mumbles, his eyes barely fluttering as Nork continues slowly. Logan nods hopping off of the horse, steadying himself as he leads them over to a sheltered cove. Patton falters awake, sliding off the horse carefully, allowing Logan to snake his arm around his waist. “Thank you Lo” He mutters sweetly, Logan nods keeping him stable.

“Of course, you should get some rest. You’ve been at it for hours” Logan advises, setting Patton down in a bed of leaves, the twigs barely poking the surface of his cloak. Logan goes to his neck, a quick rush as he realizes something is missing. Patton hears his quick shuffles, opening his eyes.

“Logan? What is it?” Patton sits up, his demeanor becomes alert as Logan’s eyes dart frantically around.  

“My amulet, it’s gone” He identifies, Patton jumps up taking a shoulder, allowing comfort to seep through him, knowing full well his next words aren’t going to do so.

“No its not” He mumbles pulling his bow, his arrow pointed down as he examines the terrain. “Logan, move very slowly” He warns, the prince nods. He aims his arrow, allowing it to fly through the air, knocking something out of a tree. “Who’s there?!” He questions

“Patton” Just a distraction. Patton turns quickly, to find Logan isn’t where he left him. He simply watches as two men grab hold of Logan, doing the same to him on his end. His bow clatters to the ground as he struggles.

“Logan!” He cries, fighting against the brute forces that hold him. “Let him go!” He begs, he could care less what happens to him. But Logan had done nothing wrong. Soon the world silences as slow steps crunch upon the forest leaves.

“Hello Patton” The voice, as always, was deep. Not formal enough, but authoritative as it spoke.

“Your majesty” Patton seethes, Logan hates the sound. He knows it’s only reserved for certain people, but even then never should something so awful fall from Patton’s mouth. “Let him go!” He tries once more, the king has to admire his resilience. A swift kick and a graceful twirl and Patton could have these men staring down his bow but that would put Logan in danger.

“You know what you have to do Patton, it's really quite simple” The king smiles, evil drips from his perfectly punctured face.

“I’ll go with you just, please… let him go” He surrenders, his eyes watching Logan, the prince shakes his head. The prince doesn’t need his help but it was easier to go down without a fight. The king snaps and Logan topples to the ground, his knees sink into the dewed grass.

“Your father misses you dearly Prince Logan” The king turns now, facing a recovering Logan.

“I doubt that” He mumbles, the king laughs. A bellowed sound as he snaps once more. “My amulet?” He requests, the king mutters but with a flick of his fingers, a deep blue amulet returns to its rightful place around Logan’s neck.

“Take him home” He instructs, Patton pulls more, tugging as hard as he can. “Now now, don’t make this worse” The king mocks. Patton sighs defeated, his gaze never moving from where Logan is. A quick look is shared between the pair as Logan is promptly stuffed into the back of a carriage, ill find you again. “Now him” The king points, Patton stands shaking off the men. He grumbles as he kicks the floor beneath him, following the king to a separate carriage. He looks around making sure the area is clear as the rest of the people pile in. He waves his hands swiftly, watching as his bow disappears behind a cloud of glistening mist. He smirks triumphant, taking his place next to the king, trying to drown out the sounds of Nork whining for him as they attach him to the carriage.

~~~

“Are we there yet?” Virgil moans, Dolion stops turning to him. His head cocks.

“There where?” Dolion questions “I hadn’t realized we had a set destination” Dolion quips, at first Virgil found his naivety charming, adorable even but now? Now it was getting on his nerves. They had no idea where they were, they didn’t even know each other. Virgil had to wonder why he felt so calm, maybe it hadn’t set in. Or maybe he knew truly deeply, he was dreaming. He had to be. He also had to be distracted as he lunges forward tripping over a newly appeared rock.  

“Ow..” He grumbles, sitting up. Dolion catches up to him, kneeling beside him.

“Are you alright?” He asks for what seems like the millionth time. He helps him stand once more. “That’s odd, that wasn’t there before” He turns, Virgil follows his gaze realizing the entire scene had changed. Not even a moment ago they had been traversing through an open field yet somehow...they now seemed intertwined in a dark forest. Looming trees watching their every move. The shadows were already uneasy but the hidden rustles of movement didn’t help.

It also didn’t help that nothing felt real, Virgil almost couldn’t feel his innards. Typically he’d be freaking out, but instead, he felt defiant. As if he should have a sword in his hand, ready to fight his way to victory.

What the hell is wrong with me?

“Oh, you’re not from around here, are you?” Virgil was going to need people to stop doing that. He jerks his body towards the source, feeling Dolion mimic his movement. It took a moment to adjust as the light settled and the mist cleared. A bright pink cloud disappeared as a figure descended gracefully landing upon a clearing. Talk about sensory overload, Virgil blinks. The figure was dressed from head to toe in a mixture of pink and brown. His clothes flying around him, as he himself simply was. Glasses sat atop his nose, drooping ever so often, little crinkles as he smiles through their conversation.  “Oh! I’m sorry! I hadn’t meant to startle you!”

“I’m not..startled” Virgil pouts, crossing his arms against his chest.

“I’m Emile” He greets moving forwards, Dolion marvels as he doesn’t walk but...hovers. He whisks his wand and finally plants himself on the ground. He waves it once more, Virgil watches as the glitter follows him, dancing around him before disappearing leaving his head clear.

“What are you? Some kind of fairy godmother?” Virgil mocks, Emile laughs a sickeningly sweet sound.

“More like a fairy godfather!” He exclaims delighted, Virgil’s frown stays. “I’m here to help you!” He smiles, Virgil wonders how long it’s going to take until he gets sick of that. Nobodies’ teeth should be that white.

“I just wanna go home” Virgil begs, feeling now how desperate he is. His entire body exhausted as it trails behind him. His eyes plead softly as they meet Emiles. The fairy figure pouts sadly, his glasses drooping “Can you help us?” Emile hesitates but nods

“Of course i -“ Another poof as a darker cloud surrounds the forest, another figure appears. His hair falls into his face covering his eyes, a grey streak lining it. He wears an extravagant outfit mixed with black and greens, a mischievous smile. Around his neck lay a simple necklace with a name engraved; Remus

“And then Emile the fairy godfather said ‘No fuck you’” Remus narrates lazily, Emile groans but slowly his eyes grow wide. Virgil jumps right into Dolion, the boy keeping him steady. “Yeah hi,” Remus waves, Dolion waves back, an intrigued smile spreads.

“Prince Remus! What are you doing here?” Emile inquires, Remus turns to the fairy figure cocking his head.

“It's not prince anymore” He hardens, something raw about it. “And Im...not entirely sure. I was hoping you could help me” Remus says honestly, Emile nods waving his wand hoping something should occur.

“I don't...I don't understand” Emile dims, his gaze falling towards the floor.

“And so, a newly discouraged Emile and two confused travelers would embark on their journey” Remus recites, quickly covering his mouth. “I...I don't know where that came from” He admits. Virgil sighs, comfortably allowing his head to fall upon Dolion's shoulder. The other boy not sure why, but he doesn't mind the gesture.

“And now the show begins” He mutters as the group ready themselves, for the unknown.

#fairytale au #sanders sides #logan sanders #patton sanders #deceit sanders #remus sanders #remy sanders #emile picani #roman sanders #virgil sanders #youtube #thomas sanders #writing #my writing #ao3 #archive of our own #logicality #prinxiety #demus #remile #royal #royalty #fantasy

[thatunhealthysideblog]

The Week of Hell

So the tests that I’ve been waiting for (for my stomach) are almost upon me. I’m officially less than a week out from said tests and due to the nature of them, it's required that I go off my prescription and over the counter stomach medications for a whole week. So that started yesterday.

I have to say, after having taken some sort of prescription for my stomach on a daily basis for almost two years now, it seems very strange to wake up in the morning and NOT take a pill. But I knew within a couple hours of being awake that this was going to be a challenge. It's been a slow build… It feels like every couple of hours someone is adding to a small pile of coals continuously burning in my chest. The “heat”, if you will, radiates in all directions and is nearly constant throughout the day. And as I suspected, my appetite has decreased somewhat.

Im kind of nervous about how ill I’ll get, so I’ve mainly stuck to foods that I know are “safe” - chicken, eggs, cooked vegetables, oatmeal, yogurt, etc. - and avoiding the usual culprits more than usual - coffee (cries), chocolate (CrIeS), chips and other deep fried foods (at this point I’m inconsolable tbh).

I think somethings come up in this little challenge that I'll have to explore more when I'm not under so much stress. Right now Im under physical stress (my body freaking out after being on a prescription and additional over-the-counter meds for distress) and mental distress (both directly related to the physical stress, but also the anxiety surrounding going to the hospital and actually having the tests done). And this has highlighted to me how strong the response is for me to stress-eat. All of the things I really shouldn't be having at this time, because they’d make me even more ill, are the things I want. To make things worse, if I had access to those foods I’d likely overeat which would also trigger getting more ill. Kind of a vicious cycle I was aware of but hadn’t thought about so much??

Yesterday I wanted McDonalds. Like, really badly. Gimme some fries and nugs omigosh! This morning I wanted to drink coffee so badly and this afternoon the flavour of the hour (several hours actually) has been sunchips or hickory/BBQ chips. I thought at first maybe it was dehydration, but since my appetite has gone down I've been on myself to stay hydrated. I've always been an emotional eater to some extent, but now that those things are completely off the table and I feel like complete crap it's a whole lot worse.

I feel like I'm caught in a cycle… 

As today felt worse than yesterday, I’m expecting things to possibly get worse-er as this next week goes on. We’ll see. I’m not entirely sure because I’ve never missed more than one dose of my medication in the last couple years. Maybe this is as bad as it gets. But based on how I was before I was put on meds, things are likely to get worse.

I guess Ill update a little more frequently over the next little while… helps to cope other than stress-eat. And I can look back and say for certain that it wasn’t just a nightmare and I actually did suffer through these days, haha!

#that unhealthy sideblog #emotional eating #stress eating #gi distress #reflux #chronic reflux #emotional health vs physical health #i want MCDONALDS #stress #medical tests #safe foods #meds #medication #or lack thereof

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 38

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- note for this chapter: a tiny smut scene, LOTS of discussions between them. btw he’s about to leave for his trip soon and then ill also skip a few weeks. was this chapter okay?

here are the ‘requests’ i added in this chapter!

Chapter 38 : His chapter

NIALL

I couldn't remember the last time I felt this happy with a steady girlfriend, or with a girl at all, so when she proposed to go ice skating, i couldn't say no. I was leaving soon and I wanted to spend as much time with her as i could, which resulted in basically being 24/7 together. I even followed her home when she needed more clothes or something and we also took our showers together. The only times we weren't together were pretty much only when we needed to use the bathroom but even then, sometimes, i would end up just doing nothing while waiting for her. I wanted to say I thought our commitment was too much and that our behavior was over the top but if I wanted to be honest, I didn't give a fuck about what it looked like. I wanted to be with her, so why should I stop myself?

"Can you even skate?" I asked, raising my eyebrows as she put her skates on.

She chuckled and I saw a cloud coming out of her mouth. It was cold, colder than we were used to for this time of the year, but she didn't seem to mind. She pulled on her beanie to hide her ears better and it made me smile a bit.

"Not really." she admitted with a shrug. "You know I suck at sports. But I thought it could be fun."

She got up and I did the same, searching for her hand to hold it in mine. We were both wearing gloves and I tried to squeeze her fingers as she pulled me closer to the rink. A bunch of people were already there and I was a bit annoyed to realize they were still playing Christmas songs even if we were in the middle of january. Did they want to kill us?

"Christmas songs never seem to end." I pointed out, groaning a bit and making her laugh.

"Oh come on, you love Christmas songs!"

"I'm overdosing." I just replied before slowly putting one foot on the ice.

Olivia was holding my hand a lot tighter and I realized she was trying to keep her balance. We ended up skating slowly together and the more time passed, the easiest it seemed to get. After a while, we were just skating slowly, still holding hands and enjoying the day. I noticed she kept glancing at our hands together and it sort of amused me.

"What?" I just asked, making her look up at me.

"Oh nothing." she replied with a shrug, her lips still curled.

"Does that bother you?"

I moved our hands up a bit to show her our intertwined fingers and she just shrugged again, shaking her head.

"No, no, I thought it would bother you though." she explained as I let our hands fall back between us. "You know, PDA and all."

"You know i'm not trying to hide you, right?"

Her smile turned into a soft one and she looked up in my eyes, glancing from time to time in front of herself to be sure not to trip. It made me want to kiss her.

"I know Niall, i've been around you long enough to know you just want to save this, to keep it private, and i'm okay with it, you know I am."

It was incredible how easily she understood me and I knew it was partially because we grew up together but I couldn't help but think it was also because our personalities just fitted so well together that we could just connect and understand each other. I was about to answer when she shrugged once again.

"As long as it's not because you're ashamed of me."

Her words hit me hard and I felt my heart jump in my chest from thinking she could believe that for one second.

"No way, no." I just let out, not really sure how to prove otherwise. "Look."

Without an other word, I brought her hand up, extending both our arms up in the air to show our intertwined fingers. She laughed but I could see her eyes sparkling and somehow, I loved it. She chuckled a bit and it's only when she almost tripped on her feet that I brought our hands down, trying to help her get her balance back.

"It's okay, Niall, you didn't have to do that, I trust you." she explained even if I could swear that my reaction reassured her. "Besides, you did sing for me in front of a public. That's hard to forget."

"Oh because you're trying to?" I joked, raising my eyebrows and pretending to be insulted. "That was unforgettable."

We had slowed down without realizing it and we finally stopped skating completely. She put herself in front of me, still holding my hand tight, and I sent her an amused smile as people kept moving around us.

"It really was the best moment of my life." she confessed so low that I barely heard. "Totally unforgettable."

I smiled more and bent down to kiss her but we both jumped when we heard someone say her name very close to us. She turned her head quickly before our lips could touch and her expression changed into a surprised one. I was a bit bothered that someone would disturb us but it quickly turned into annoyance when I realized who it was.

"Rian?"

I was not sure if she was happy or just surprised but when he hugged her, I suddenly felt out of place. I was pretty sure I was dating Holly when she started dating Rian and I remember being annoyed back then, too. He was too kind, too caring, too perfect.

"Oh my god, Rian, I haven't seen you since..."

He pulled away from her and laughed with a shrug.

"Yea I can't remember either, how have you been?"

They started chatting for a while and the fact that he ignored me didn't get unnoticed. I waited an other minute and finally coughed to get their attention before looking at him and sending him a fake smile. I was pretty sure he could read in my face that I wasn't super happy to see him but he didn't say anything.

"Horan, hey mate!"

He showed his hand and reluctantly, I slapped in it.

"Wherever Olivia is, Niall isn't too far." he added with a chuckle. "That's what everyone always said."

I held my breath at his words, a bit shocked that I hadn't heard that before even if apparently, all of our friends said it. It was even more surprising knowing that we were both taken yet our friends still took time to mention how close we were.

"I see it's still true!" he continued, realizing we weren't going to comment on it. "Still as close as you used to be?"

"Closer." I replied, searching for Liv's hand with mine and grabbing her fingers.

I saw his gaze fall on our hands and then he looked up with a cheeky smile. For some odd reason, I wanted him to lose that stupid smile.

"So it finally happened? I should have bet money on that." he joked, laughing a bit before my girlfriend joined it.

"Yea, it did." she just said before changing the subject. "What are you doing in London?"

"Oh, I moved here! It's been a few years actually."

He kept talking about what he had been up to in the past few years and I just turned to Olivia. She was staring at him, listening carefully to his words and laughing at his jokes, and my jealousy seemed to falter slightly. I tried remembering how i felt for her back then but all I could see in my mind was the first time i saw them kiss each other. I hadn't been jealous the way I was jealous now but it was still jealousy. Probably jealousy from seeing her happy with someone else than me, or jealousy because I knew she wouldn't be able to spend as much time with me as she used to. Either way, it was bad, and I had decided to focus on Holly instead.

"We should go."

I had no idea why I had said that but they both stopped everything and turned to me before Liv sent him a smile.

"He's right, it's getting late."

"Hey, give me your phone, i'll add my number and maybe we can hang out?"

Without thinking, I squeezed her fingers tighter as she handed him her phone with her free hand. It seemed to take forever until he gave it back and he got closer to kiss her cheek before shaking my hand again but it's only when he left that my grip on her fingers loosened a bit. I turned to look at her and I thought she would make a comment but she simply smiled at me and licked her lips.

"Let's go home, i'm dying for a cup of hot chocolate."

"Yea, good idea."

We left the rink and put our boots back before walking to my car in silence. I had the feeling I made things tensed between us but in the middle of the ride, she turned to look at me with an amused smile. I glanced at her and frowned but didn't have time to ask anything.

"Niall, I have no intention on seeing Rian again."

I shrugged, trying to show that I didn't mind, but it made her laugh.

"I noticed, you know." she started, making me frown more. "How you reacted around him. Even back then, when we were younger, you couldn't stand him."

"He was always sort of an arrogant prick." I mumbled with a groan, making her laugh even more. "I know he treated you well, and he really cared for you, and he was nice to you... but he was still an arrogant prick. And he still is."

This time, she laughed louder and it made me grimace but I couldn't help but enjoy her happiness and amusement.

"I give you that, he really is." she added before getting more serious. "And you clearly claimed your territory." she half-joked.

"I'm sorry, Liv." I apologized as I parked the car in my driveway.

I sighed as I stopped the car and we got out of it. We walked to the door and I unlocked it and after we put our skates and coats away, she followed me to the kitchen, sitting on the counter as she looked at me preparing us two cups of hot chocolate with marshmallows. She was swinging her legs and I noticed how her thick socks were rolled over her sweatpants. It made me smile more but I decided to focus on our drinks.

"You lost your virginity to this guy, didn't you?"

I asked but I already knew. Someone had told me about it and I had waited for her to share this information with me but she never had. I couldn't blame her, though, since I hadn't told her when and to whom I lost my virginity either. She wasn't answering and I finally looked up only to see her looking down at her hands as she was playing with her fingers nervously.

"Liv?"

"You were dating Holly and... Willie told me you had sex with her." she shrugged, still avoiding my eyes, and it made me sad. "I don't know, I guess I always had the dream that we'd do it together, so it sort of hurt me really bad."

"I'm so... so sorry, Olivia."

"No!" she let out, looking up at me and sending me a sad smile. "No, Niall, don't apologize, it's not your fault and you didn't owe me anything. I guess I just wanted to get rid of it too."

"Get rid of what?" I asked, bringing her her mug and standing in front of her as she took a sip.

"My virginity."

I stared at her for a few more seconds in silence as she drank more, making a grimace as she burned her tongue. I watched as she pushed a lock of her messy hair behind her ear and took a step closer, putting my untouched hot beverage on the counter. It caught her attention and she looked in my eyes again.

"The next day I saw Rian at a party and... yea, I invited him home." she admitted, shrugging a shoulder. "And we did it. And then we started dating."

I didn't know what to tell her and I just stared at her again, wishing I could take away all the pain I could see in her eyes. I regretted so many things yet I knew that apologizing wouldn't change anything and would probably just make her feel guilty so I just took an other step closer and put my hands on her thighs. My palms brushed on her pants and reached her waist as I tilted my chin up to look into her eyes.

"Do you wanna watch a movie before bed."

She sent me a fond smile and nodded slightly as her eyes moved from mine to my lips. I pulled her closer, her ass sliding on the counter and making her chuckle. She brought her free hand on my cheek, her palm very warm since she had held her mug for a while, and i smiled at her. She bent down slightly and our lips met as her fingers slipped down on my neck. Neither of us deepened the kiss. She just brushed her parted lips gently and very slowly against mine as we stared at each other.

"I'm a bit obsessed with you." she admitted in a low tone, the right corner of her mouth moving up. "I'd literally lock myself in your room with you and fuck for days."

I laughed against her mouth and nibbled gently on her bottom lip, making her smile more.

"Yea?"

"Oh yea."

I pulled away a bit and let my eyes fall on her lips as I felt her thumb rub softly on the skin of my neck. She wrapped her legs around my waist and pulled me even closer to her.

"Don't tempt me."

She started laughing and kissed me again before loosening her grip and letting me move back. She put her mug on the counter and got down before following me to the living room. We remained silent as I turned the tv on and the lights off and she brought a blanket on the couch. We ended up cuddling under it while a Christmas movie was playing. She was leaning against my chest, between my legs, and I let my fingertips brush gently on her arm, giving her goosebumps. I felt like we were exactly where we were supposed to be and nothing else seemed to matter.

She tilted her head up and I looked down, sending her an amused smile before she sent me a fond one. I moved closer and kissed her lips again. Slowly, she turned around and got on her knees, her mouth still attached to mine, as i let my arms rest on the back of the couch. She deepened the kiss and moved her knees on each sides on my thighs to straddle me. I gripped the couch hard with both hands when she pressed her inner thighs against my cock and groaned in her mouth. I couldn't stop thinking about her wet pussy rubbing against me and drenching her panties and I finally brought my hands to her face to cup her cheeks, pushing my back away to sit straight.

"You're such a little tease." I whispered with a smirk as my hands slid down on her sides to reach her waist.

I tried to slip my hand past the waistband of her sweatpants but she grabbed it and brought it back to her waist, allowing her lips to leave mine but still remaining very close.

"Don't move." she whispered as she started rubbing herself quickly over me.

I could feel my dick swell against her and I whimpered very low when her pussy ground against my tip. The friction was becoming too much and I started feeling an orgasm form in the pit of my stomach. It was unbelievable how quickly she could make me cum and I brought my hands to the bottom of her shirt, moving it up over her breasts. I reached in her back to take her bra off and grimaced in annoyance when I realized I was struggling. I was too horny and couldn't focus on anything else but how she moved over me. She chuckled and stopped moving to help me take her bra off and my eyes immediately fell on her breasts. I ran my hands up on her sides before grabbing both gently. She started moving again and I reached for one of her nipples with my mouth, running my tongue on it before moving to the other.

"Fuck, i'm so close." she whimpered, running her hand in my hair and pulling on it slightly. "Oh.. oh god."

My hands gripped her waist tighter, my fingers sinking on her skin, as I helped her move over me.

"Do it petal, cum for me, soak your panties just for me." i let out low in a husky voice.

Her grip tightened in my hair and she started shaking over me. I watched her for half a second but couldn't stop myself from reaching in her panties. Quickly, I rubbed her clit through her orgasm, making her eyebrows raise and her lips part. The sight was beautiful and the feeling even better. She came on my fingers and the whole thing was so sexy I almost got an orgasm too. She bent down to kiss me but I quickly put my fingers in her mouth and watched her suck on them, taking them completely in her mouth, as she grabbed my hand with both of hers.

"Dry humping has never been so hot." I admitted with a laugh as she took my fingers out of her mouth with a low 'pop'.

I let my fingers slide between her breasts, leaving a wet trace on my way as my eyes followed them down.

"You drive me fucking insane." I admitted before looking back up at her.

"Where do you want to cum?" she just asked, ignoring my comment, and without thinking, I moved my eyes on her breasts again.

My cock was painfully hard by then and when she got off of me, I groaned, wanting to just pull her back on top of me. She held her hand out and I took it before getting up too. She tilted her head and the smirk she sent me almost made me cum right then. Slowly, she got on her knees and unzipped my pants before quickly pulling them down and bringing my boxers with them. She took my cock with both her hands and started stroking it as I watched her but it didn't take me long to be close to my orgasm again.

"Fuck..." she let go of me and I started jerking myself off as she moved up on her knees, bringing her upper body closer to me. "I've been thinking about cumming all over your tits a lot recently."

She bit her bottom lip and cupped her breasts for me, tilting her head again and raising her eyebrows up.

"Please do it, i'm really craving your cum right now." she whispered. "I really want it all over me."

She looked so innocent and vulnerable that one of my legs started shaking as I came on her breasts. I groaned when I got down from my high, rubbing the tip of my cock in my cum to spread it on her more but focusing on her nipples. The feeling was amazing and I could swear I heard her whimper too. I was panting and my whole body was throbbing but I just closed my eyes, trying to get my heartbeats back to a normal pace.

"Come here." I said, bending down a bit to help her up before kissing her gently. "I'm really thinking about your proposition. Locking ourselves in here for weeks seems like the only solution."

She laughed against my mouth and i did the same, not really sure how long we spent just kissing each other. All I knew was that the movie was over when we pulled away and I took a step back.

"You need a shower." I pointed out, glancing down at her breasts and making her chuckle. "And so do i."

We cleaned quickly in very warm stream of water and ended up in bed again, the lights off and the room in complete silence. There were so many things rushing to my brain and even if I knew we had so many things to talk about, the only thing that came out of my mouth surprised me probably more than it surprised her.

"Did you love him?" I asked low, my hands behind my head.

I tensed at my own words and stopped moving but I could swear she could hear my heartbeats echo against my chest.

"Who, Rian?" she asked, turning her head my way. "No, not really. I mean, I liked him a lot, but it was nothing like love."

I just nodded but remained silent, feeling stupid for even asking. I didn't know why I had been so jealous earlier, when we saw him, and I would never stop her from seeing her friends, but I couldn't pretend I wasn't happy that she had no intention on calling him.

"What about you?" she asked in a soft voice, turning her whole body my way. "Which of your ex girlfriends did you love?"

My lips curled into a smile and I closed my eyes for a few seconds before doing what she did and turning my body her way to face her. I blinked a few times to see her better as my eyes got used to the darkness and I could read in her face that my answer was making her nervous. I brought my hand up and moved a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"I thought I loved a few of them..  very few of them." I pointed out, the right corner of my lips moving up as my eyes roamed on her. "But then I admitted to myself that I loved you and it made me realize that what I felt before, for the other girls... it wasn't love. Nothing felt half as good, intense and real as what I feel for you."

Her eyes seemed to flutter and she moved closer to press her lips against mine slowly and softly. I moved my arm around her waist and kissed her back very gently.

"Now that I think about it, I wish I would have lost my virginity with you." I confessed again in a whisper. "We were close, the closest I ever was with a friend, and I trusted you more than I trusted any of the girls I dated. We should have lost our virginity together, Olivia. I'm sorry I didn't realize that before."

She didn't answer but I knew she felt the same. It was too late, though, and it's impossible to go back in the past but at least, she knew I regretted it. If I had known back then what I know now, things would have been different. It was stupid to dwell on the past but it was important for me to tell her that I was sorry, even if I couldn't change it.

I kissed her again, my lips brushing against hers and feeling her warm breath on my skin. I had never felt like that with anybody and it was scary to think it was the first and last person i'd feel that way for but I knew it was true.

"I want to spend my life with you."

The way she had whispered made me shiver but her words made something jump in my chest. She was literally telling me she wanted me to be the last lover she'd ever have and the thought suddenly scared me. I could feel my heart thump hard and fast in my chest and I swallowed, unsure of what my answer should be. I didn't want to tell her that life isn't easy, that things and people change, and that we had no idea where we'd be in a year, even if it was exactly what I thought, because i didn't want to hurt her. Not again. I had hurt her enough before, she deserved to be happy now and today had been too perfect to end up on a bad note by stating ugly facts and inevitable truths. Plus, I loved her more than anything but I was still 22, and life was long and tough.

I pulled her closer to me and stared in her eyes for a few seconds, telling myself that there was no way I was ever going to lie to her, and just decided on telling her how I felt and what I was totally sure about.

"I love you, Olivia." I whispered back. "I want you to know that no matter what happens, I will always love you."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan writing #niall horan story #my fanfic #amc

[okyio-archive]

hey guys !! im so sorry for being absent for so long :+( !! it’s been a crazy couple of days and i really needed to recover after everything that has been happening. again i just want to say thank you for everyone who has been so patient with me. i’m going to clear these anon msgs + i’ll respond to all my private msgs&discord chats + check out what i’ve missed once i wake up tomorrow. i love you guys sm for showing love + support. i wish you a happy thursday :+)

sims related

Would u ever do an editing tutorial? like how u draw little doodles and stuff like that! If it's not too much fo a hassle. love you SO MUCH!! <3

hey nonny :+) please check the faq next time !! I’ve answered how i drew the little doodles there but for a full blown tutorial i’ve already mentioned that i’ll do one once i have more free time :+) !! thanks for the support love !!

What are your favorite brushes for edits?

i recently found one right over here :+) and i’ve been experimenting w/ em !! tbh i dont have a fav cause im always trying out new brushes out + seeing which ones i like !!! so im sorry if that doesn’t answer your question asjkdhf

hi!!! hope you're having a good day!! is it okay to use the sims from your sim dump in a story as long as you get credit? if not i totally understand!

thanks nonny for asking :+) !! yeah definitely !! you can do whatever you like w/ them !! i would love to see so feel free to @ me :’+) have fun and tysm for using my sims :’+)!!

personal questions

Can i be your friend?

ofc nonny :+) !! ill prob reply slow af but i promise you that i would love to make friends :+) so hmu whenever you feel comfortable !!

How do you deal with perfectionism? Or what ever that word is????

honestly, tk wrote a perfect post outlining what she does and it helped me out a lot as well !! so check her post out + hopefully it can help you a bit too :+) if you ever need someone to talk to, im here :’+)

would it be ok if I asked u for friendship advice?

ofc nonny :+) !!! just hmu off/on anon in my inbox or pm if you wish :+) im always willing to help as long as you’re a little patient w/ me since i reply quite late haha but im always here to listen + give my 2 cents :+)

I find it so hard to study, I get distracted so easily and sometimes it isn’t my phone :(

awh man nonny i know what you mean. i struggle w/ studying a lot and i’m a uni student haha. besides the typical tips you can find online, what i found is this app called forest (it’s on ios + android devices!!) to help me stay on task (whether it’s studying/chores). check out more information here. it’s been honestly helping me a lot + who doesn’t like plants??? 

I don't know who to tell this to and you seem really kind: I'm the pickiest eater I've ever met or heard of. It's just NO most food is disgusting it just makes me wanna barf. And everyone treats me like a 4-year-old child. Nothing cheers me up anymore. I think I have selective eating disorder and nobody understands :( People are being mean to me all the time because I don't like certain foods and maybe I AM just a 4-year-old child. I need help and comfort :( Because being a picky eater is hard.

awh nonny first thank you for telling me about that :’+) im really sorry if im replying this super late asldkjf. i honestly really appreciate that you opened up to me about it okay? i know this can be difficult since it’s smt so personal. i want to let you know right now that i’m always here for you + supporting you okay? i know it’s difficult when your surrounding group of people don’t understand / support. although i haven’t personally dealt with this, i would suggest finding a professional + see what their take on it? if it’s to the extent that certain food makes you barf, it’s def more than just “wow ur picky” yeuno? cause you physically can’t eat smt without barfing it all out. seek a professional when you’re more comfortable okay? you dont have to do it now but baby steps!! remember you’re not alone, im always here for you oaky nonny :+) every step of the way!! lmk + update me okay? i’m wishing you luck ily !!

my moms having her 4th child and like im really nervous abt it cause this is the first time im actually old enough to like remember it and take care of him and like im scared

!! nonny thank you for coming up to me + telling me about it - i honestly really appreciate it :’+) !! first of all: congrats !! i know things will definitely be different since there are responsibilities to deal w/ and added stress but remember !! to take it slow okay? it’s 100% okay to make mistakes. it’s 100% normal to feel overworked. there will prob be more little arguments here and there since everyone will be quite restless + more irritable but take it slowly + (literally) baby steps okay? if it gets too much for you, take a breather and come back to it. im sure your mom will understand if it gets too much for you. and besides - im here supporting and rooting for you too nonny :+) !! i honestly cant imagine taking care of another human being at this age either - heCk i can’t even take care of myself askdjhf but remember it’s a learning curve!! it’ll take awhile + there will be a lot of obstacles to huddle through but it’ll be rewarding okay? again, if u ever need someone to talk to, im always here :+) !! ily nonny!! stay strong

Hi! I'm really sorry to bother you rn, but I just really, REALLY miss my dog who passed away several years ago. She was like my sister... I related to her more than people & I could always rely on her for comfort. All I want to do is just hug her again, but I know I can't do that. I just can't move on. I love her so much. I'm sorry, but I need to tell this to someone, ANYONE, because it's really been keeping me down lately...(dog death anon cont.) I've been seeing a therapist since she's died, and I've been on several medicines which DO help, but only to a certain degree. I realize there's a certain part that I, myself, need to control (ie moving on). but like I said, it's hard. I haven't told anyone this, because I'm afraid of looking stupid for letting my dog's death get to me this much that it's required hospitalizations and such. I just want to see her again. (end)

!!!!! asdf you’re never a bother nonny !! dont ever thing that alright? i’m always here for you ready to listen no matter what (i’m just a super slow replier so i apologize for that askdhf). but first thank you for coming to me + telling me about your personal problems - i honestly appreciate sm. i’m honestly so sorry nonny... i can relate to some extent because i got my dog when i was in gr 7 and he was my only friend who i can go to to feel love + comfort up since i’ve been bullied since elementary school & never really had friends. i can’t imagine what you’re going through .. i’m honestly so sorry. don’t think that you’re stupid at all okay? i’m the last person on the earth to ever think you are. i’m glad you’re seeking a therapist right now !! however, i 100% understand if it’s difficult to move on - cause it is!! my grandpa past away 10 years ago and he was one of my best friends and he was really the only “father figure-like” role model i look up to. till this day my heart aches thinking about my grandfather and how much i miss him. similarly, i would definitely feel the exact same way w/ my dog if he passed away because i treasure him sm. so don’t be too hard on yourself about moving on. i know it’s easier said than done but different people vary on how long they mourn for. some can be 100% okay in a couple months while others takes years - and that’s 100% okay! why? because we’re human. there’s no need to rush in “moving on” - take it in your own pace. i know the pressure / stigma of others thinking you’re “weird/stupid” for being like this state further creates anxiety/stress in “forcing” yourself to rapidly wanting to move on. however, i urge to try your best to ignore what others might think + focus on yourself to the best of your abilities. perhaps distract yourself in finding a new hobby / doing smt that you love or smt new. it takes time to recover - no matter how long you take, no one’s rushing you oke :+)? ill be here every step of the way if u ever need me. it’s okay to have those days where you tried so hard but u end up at point A because after you go through that hurdle, you’ll be closer to your goal. take as long as you need - baby steps nonny :+) i’m here rooting for you oke? i love you so much. you’re a strong sweetheart and i know you can do it. 

#mail time #*a #ask #*n #long text #it's 4am i finally finished typing askdjfh #i also made an edit so watch out for that !!!! #im going to bed but ill reply to everyone once i wake up tmr #ily

[xxlovendreamsxx]

What the ever living....

Okay, first of all, the one who’s being rude here is you. And tbh, I’m pretty sure you’re the same person as the anon who sent me the ask, what with the whole “don’t wanna be rude or anything”. Not like it matters whether or not you’re the same person, though. 

Second of all, why in the world did you send me this via review to my story?? This literally has nothing to do with it?? Do you know how much of a dick move it is to do this in a review instead of sending me anon messages on tumblr, or a PM on FF? Reviews are for the stories, about the stories, about whatever you like or didn’t like. They’re not for you to vent about my tumblr posts, like????? 

ALSO how have I been offended by “literally anything lately”??? My blog is literally nothing but positive things, funny/cute shit that i love, my otps, and on the rare occasions some political posts or important social justice posts that i’ve felt the need to reblog. BUT ESPECIALLY, for almost three years now, this blog has been drama free (which, yay, thanks to you, im breaking the tradition rn, but w/e). So where have you been getting this “getting offended by literally anything lately” crap?

And how is saying “i’m not getting paid for this” and “i dont owe my readers anything” rude? am i saying they’re all ungrateful shits that don’t deserve respect??? am i saying that you should worship me because im not getting paid??? no! im literally telling it like it is. i do not get paid for writing fanfiction, and that’s not a rude thing to say. i do not owe my readers anything, and that’s not rude either. i think you’re probably misunderstanding the tone, tbh. i love my readers and they are precious, and most of them i will always treat with utter respect---but i do not owe any of them anything. 

because ultimately, i CHOSE to post my stories, not because i wanted to share them with the community for support, but because i liked what i’d written and i knew others would enjoy as well. i CHOSE to continue these stories. i CHOSE to take my free time writing for prompts and requests. and should i one day choose not to anymore, then that’s no one’s business but mine, and not a single reader will ever have the right to bash me about it because these stories would not exist if it weren’t for me and i do not owe it to anyone to finish them should i lose interest. UNLESS the readers commissioned me. and tbh, i have no idea why you decided to bring up how “no one said authors were supposed to get paid” because literally, we all know this??? no one expects to get paid??? the point wasn’t that i should be getting paid???? 

the point is that the fact im even writing and posting my stories at all should be appreciated and never be taken for granted BECAUSE im not getting paid for this. readers are enjoying our creations for free, because we were chill enough to share them when we could have kept them to ourselves or share them privately with friends. but because of reviewers like that one, clearly we aren’t appreciated the way we should be and we’re stuck here in situations like these where we’re apparently rude for defending ourselves and the work that we do (for free!) and for getting angry when someone acts entitled and tries guilt tripping us in giving them something we dont owe them.

i do not owe my readers anything. authors do not owe their readers jackshit unless they were commissioned (and even there, some exceptions still apply). 

ALSO “we all have lives”?????? ok why don’t you get back to me when you’re being pestered with self-entitled pricks basically demanding you to give up everything going on with your life just so you can provide them with faster updates because they “really can’t handle the extremely slow updates”. i have a right to not spend my every waking moment of freedom writing for the next update. so, yes, i’ll reiterate as an argument, i have a life. i don’t owe my readers anything. ill update when i want, and no one has the right to whine to me about it because i do not get paid for this and it was my choice to post it in the first place. 

this is unbelievable. 

#im done #im very done #sorry guys #this will be the last of this #i want no drama on my blog #and this is just so tiring like damn #further asks and comments will be deleted

[krykir-blog]

My Experience With Transitioning

fuck me im just copying and pasting what I’ve done up until now

Info already so right now i think im nonbinary but i think i might be completely trans idk (edit later in time: i can say for sure I am completely trans, not just nonbinary.), ive felt this way for a while and my bud sen helped me figure it all out bc i was hella confused and i felt very masculine. A year and a few months ago I cut my hair super short and realized that this was how I've always wanted it because oh my god if i ever grew long hair again id want to die, i hate it and i hated how I looked. So that was that and i was like that for a while and I think sometime during the summer of 2015 i figured out what I wanted to be called (ryan). I started out w/ having people on the internet call me that and it was awesome, but kinda weird having people in real life call me by my birth name and it was really odd. Then October came and my stepcousin was getting married- during that wedding was when i told my dad and stepmum i wanted to be called ryan so I consider that to be the time when I actually started transitioning. It took a painfully long time to get my mother on board to be honest, her boyfriend (who is now her ex) was actually down with it right away but of course he didn't call me or my brother that because it would've been awkward, but we had some late night talks about it frequently. When they broke up it was kinda iffy but I think it was soon after that happened that she started calling me and my brother by our preferred names. At a party my parents went to one night they told all their friends about me and my brother and we've been enrolled in a study, which is 6 MRI's total. I've already had 3 MRI's and let me tell you, they suck, but I think later next year I'm gonna have to get my next round- just basically contribution to help trans people or anyone taking hormones to transition. This year I got into high school and I'm going to a place that's pretty far away from where my last school was, so no one there knows me or that I'm female- I'm completely authentic and I think that's pretty cool, it's what I wanted. So far I think that's all you need to know lmao if I have more info to put down i probably will. Thank you guys for the support, i love you <3 8/29/16 First injection of testosterone. No changes yet ofc, but I found that I was hardly hurt by the needle so now I'm a lot more excited lmao. (Dose amount is currently 0.1 ML) 9/5/16 Second injection. Of course, no changes yet, so there's not much to say except this was my first time doing it at home. stepmum did it tbh, it still surprises me at how much it doesnt hurt lmao 9/12/16 Third injection bois. No really noticeable changes yet however i think i have a bit more hair growth from where the bellybutton is down to the nether areas which is still something and I'll take it xD I'm starting to think I prefer shots in the arm tho. Surprisingly they don't hurt as much as far as I can tell?? it's pretty neat lmao 9/19/16 Still no noticeable changes. I can now say for sure that shots hurt less in the arm than the leg, surprisingly enough at least for me lmao one month b o i s 9/26/16 (sorry for being super late with updating this one) still no noticeable changes yet, dosage is still small as all hell >> 10/3/16 No noticeable changes that I can identify, but I have a friend who told me that my voice is deeper. regardless of that, it's not at all by much at least to me and there's still nothing super noticeable and it's rather irritating. 10/7/16 Not a shot, but my first MRI after getting the three baseline scans before I got testosterone. I got my blood drawn more than I ever have and it got to the point where my vision became brightly dotted and my ears started ringing like mad, it was awful, i thought i was gonna pass out. But the MRI itself was actually a lot better than my last three scans, theyve made so many improvements to make it less anxiety inducing. 4/6 MRIs done, 1/3 blood draws done. 10/10/16 SEVENTH SHOT OF T I'VE BEEN OVER THE MOON TODAY THO 'CAUSE I'M GETTING MY DANK ASS FRIEND A BINDER AS fOR the actual T, I haven't noticed any super big changes but my friends are like "yeah jesus christ ur voice is deeper" so I GUESS THATS THAT I also started recording my voice after the sixth shot so ill keep up w/ that too as much as I can 10/17/16 Still no noticeable changes to me, however we got new needles and the measurements are different and it's weird but ye nothing super exciting to say I guess hhh sorry for being so slow at updating this rip 10/24/16 This time the needle really hurt and idk why but oh well. Still no noticeable changes besides more hair growth on my legs and the happy trail area. I compared my voice now to my 6th shot and there's no distinct difference >> i really wish my dosage was higherrrr Also for some reason I keep having dreams of me with longer hair?? it's really not okay :'D I don't recognize pictures of myself with long hair anymore tho so I guess that's something. 10/31/16 -ok so i dont remember getting a shot this day but w/e, im late to updating it- still no noticeable changes 11/7/16 SO I GAVE MYSELF A SHOT FOR THE FIRST TIME AND IT WAS AWFUL 1- I PRICKED MY FINGER AND IT STARTED BLEEDING A LOT AND IT STILL HURTS 2- WHEN I ACTUALLY PUT IT IN MY ARM I DIDNT PUT IT IN DEEP ENOUGH SO IT ALL STARTED COMING OUT AND I WAS BLEEDING A LOT IM SICK FROM SCHOOL TODAY AND I HAD DETERMINATION TO DO IT BUT I DIDNT DO WELL 11/14/16 soRRY FOR BEING AWFUL AT UPDATING i had a really shitty monday this most recent monday but its ok my friend brought their trans bf over and watched me and my borther put in our shots and it was chill no noticeable changes to report i dont think 11/21/16 Nothing special to report, the needle kinda stung tho oddly 11/28/16 AAAND MY DOSAGE IS NOW 0.2 BOIS I GO BACK IN 3 MONTHS AND ITLL PROBS BE UPPED TO 0.3 BUT IM EXCITED I loved the nurse who drew my blood lmao she was really cool, i love the people who work in that office so much. They're all so nice ;v; I have a bit more acne and my doctor said my voice sounded a bit deeper, so I guess I'll take it. Things should hopefully speed up at 0.2. 12/5/16 Second shot on 0.2! It didn't hurt as bad as the last one which is good~ I've been noticing more acne on my face nd shoulders which is also hella //well in progress terms it is 12/12/16 YOU GUYS MY VOICE IS GETTING MORE RASPY AND I CAN CRACK IT ALL OVER THE PLACE EASIER THAN I COULD BEFORE ITS NOT SUPER NOTICEABLE YET BUT IM GETTING THERE IM EXCITE SORRY FOR BEING SHITTY AT UPDATING THIS ITS OK 12/19/16 BREATHES NOTHING SUPER NOTEWORTHY BUt my voice iS noticeably going down- not a ton buT AGAIN ITS GETTING THERE ;V; My arm really hurts tho for the first time after and idk why 'cause the shot iddnt hurt at all 12/25/16 Not a shot but just a lil random update ;;v; MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ERRYONE BY THE WAY, I HOPE YOU ALL HAd a great day! sO onto the stuff Today I got an assload of money and I'm deciding to spend a lot of it on a packer and a packing harness. I already bought the harness but I'm gonna have my dad order the packer since there's no good ones on amazon hhhh buT YE IM PUMPED ILL HAVE A BULGE 12/30/16 HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS MY VOICE IS GETTING REALLY NOTICEABLY DEEP IM LITERALLY SCREAMING [link] 1/5/17 I GOT MY PACKER MOTHERFUCKERS ITS HUGE AND ITS GREAT AND IVE GOT A DICK NOW 1/9/17 This is the day I officially became male. This is the day I officially became Ryan. I never have to write my birth name ever again. I am so fucking happy. The judge was super super nice and I was anxious as fuck but it ended up super well. Voice is still getting deeper and im getting hairier in some places, it's great~

#transgender #transitioning #ftm #femaletomale #testosterone #updates #lgbt