#ill calm down after this

[delta-piscium]

Steddie | 1.7k words it is (swedish) midsummer so I wrote this based on my favorite old tradition because I can and will make anything steddie, so like glad midsommar (happy midsummer)

“What are you doing?” Steve asks as he follows Eddie to the hallway where he’s frantically putting on his shoes. 

“I almost forgot,” he mutters under his breath not acknowledging Steve at all.

“Forgot what?” 

“I can’t believe I almost forgot.” 

“Eddie,” Steve says a little louder, more adamant.

He does look up at Steve then and almost looks surprised to see him. As if he’d forgotten he was there, as if they haven’t been hanging out for hours. 

“Oh,” he says. “Uhm,” he squints at Steve who waits for him to continue, to explain. He doesn’t.

“Yes?” Steve implores because he would really like an explanation. Eddie had just abruptly stood up halfway through telling Steve about some folklore he’s using in his new campaign, just cut himself off mid-sentence and walked off. Steve doesn’t think it’s especially weird or demanding of him to have questions. 

“Did you have other plans that you just now remembered?” Steve frowns, starting to feel unsure when Eddie still isn’t saying anything. It’s just past eleven at night and Steve doesn’t know what plans those would be but he had showed up unannounced earlier in the evening so it’s not impossible that Eddie had plans that Steve interrupted. 

“No, no, no,” Eddie assures him finally breaking his silence, “it’s- okay it’s a little silly but I read this thing researching and I want to try it.” 

And well, okay then.

Steve raises his eyebrows and waves his hand gesturing for Eddie to go on. 

Eddie’s cheeks turn a light pink and he resolutely looks somewhere above Steve’s shoulder instead of at him. 

“Midsummer, which is today, is supposed to be this magical night and there are all these traditions and old myths about it.” 

Eddie glances at Steve and he smiles. Tries to show he’s listening and wants to know whatever thing Eddie read about. 

“And well, okay so there’s this one tradition where you pick seven different kinds of flowers before you go to bed and then put them under your pillow and you’re supposed to dream about who you’re gonna spend your life with.” 

Steve blinks, wasn’t expecting that and doesn’t know what to say about it, so, he blinks again. 

“Maybe it’s dumb, but with all we’ve seen magic and folklore don’t seem so far-fetched and,” he shrugs, “I wanna try. And like, it’s close to midnight and I don’t know if that’s a rule but I don’t wanna risk messing it up.”

“It- huh,” Steve frowns slightly and looks at his shoes then back at Eddie. “Yeah alright, let’s do it. Can’t hurt right?” 

His voice is light, like it’s not a big deal and just a fun thing Eddie read about because that’s what it is, isn’t it? But something about it settles deep in Steve’s gut. Makes it feel important in a way he’s not sure he could explain if he tried. Maybe it’s just the fact that Eddie is getting so worked up about the possibility of dreaming about the person he’s gonna spend his life with when Steve maybe a little bit wishes it would be him, but like, only a little. 

Eddie looks at him with wide eyes like he didn’t expect Steve to want to join, like maybe he expected Steve to make fun of him for wanting to do it. But then something seems to switch in him and a slow smile spreads over his face and he gives Steve an exaggerated once over. 

“Looking to find your true love huh, Harrington?” 

“I thought you said it was the person you spend your life with, not the same as true love necessarily.” Steve quips back because technicalities are easier to argue over than answering that question, especially when Eddie is the one asking.

Eddie shrugs. “Different sources say different things, sometimes it’s true love sometimes it’s who you marry.” 

“Well, then I guess we’re both looking to find our true loves?” Steve hedges, drags Eddie down with him if they’re gonna go there. 

A soft look passes Eddie’s face before a responds, voice quieter. “Guess we are, yeah.” 

They pick their flowers in silence, something about the magic being broken if you speak. Walking around the edge of the woods behind Eddie’s trailer a couple of feet apart, every once in a while coming together or crossing paths. 

After, Steve stands in between Eddie’s trailer and his own car. Holding on to his bouquet of seven flowers unsure what to do. He could go home, he should go home, but he doesn’t want to. He did have some beers hours ago and if he was allowed to speak he’d use that as an excuse to not drive and ask Eddie to crash on his couch. Right now he can’t though so he sighs inwardly and turns to his car. 

He makes it about two steps before a hand reaches out and grips him around his free wrist stopping him. When he turns around Eddie is giving him a look that very clearly says ‘stop being stupid’ and jerks his head towards the trailer silently telling Steve to go with him. He doesn’t let go though and uses his grip on Steve to drag him along like he can’t be sure Steve will actually listen and follow. As if Steve would ever not follow Eddie. 

They quickly get ready for bed. And again when Steve walks toward the couch Eddie grabs him and shakes his head. He waves his arms around a bit like that’s supposed to explain anything but Steve isn’t too bothered about an explanation anyways and easily follows Eddie to his bedroom. 

They’ve shared a bed before but always when they’ve been drunk or high so this feels different. Steve is a little glad they can’t speak or he’s sure he’d blurt out something way too revealing about it all. 

He avoids looking at Eddie as he tucks his flowers in under his pillow, knows Eddie is doing the same next to him. Is aware of it only being an old myth from a region halfway across the world but there’s a weight to it. Something real and tangible. 

He expects it to take a while for him to fall asleep like it always does. For him to twist and turn and lay awake until the early morning. For once though, that doesn’t happen. With the weight of Eddie next to him and to the sounds of his soft breathing and small movements, Steve falls asleep.

And he dreams. He dreams of big brown eyes and bright laughter. Of wild hair and warm arms embracing him. He dreams of growing old next to someone and how every wrinkle on their face tells a story of their shared love. 

He wants to stay in the dream forever, desperately tries to hold onto it even as he floats into consciousness. He turns and groans, gets a mess of someone’s hair in his mouth and nose and that’s enough to startle him into full wakefulness. 

Eddie grumbles next to him, clearly also just waking up. Steve looks at him, with his wild hair and his big brown eyes that are slowly blinking open and of course. Of course, it was Eddie he dreamed about.

Their eyes meet and Eddie freezes. Eyes widening as he looks back at Steve. 

“Oh,” he says. 

And yeah, oh.

“Eddie?” Steve asks, unsure of how to bring it up, to ask about it. If he even should? 

He puts on a teasing smile, even though he feels like goo inside, but making it lighthearted is all he can think of because what if he’s taking this whole thing way too seriously? Jumping to conclusions? 

“Dream of anyone?” 

Eddie nods and looks away, “I did.” He says it simply, voice careful. 

And maybe it isn’t just Steve.

“Who?” He asks, dropping the teasing tone. 

Eddie swallows and looks back at Steve. “The person I wanted to dream of,” he says and it’s not really an answer but he’s looking at Steve so intently he thinks it still might be. 

He thinks about Eddie’s quiet but delighted surprise at Steve wanting to join him yesterday. About Eddie dragging him first into his trailer and then into his bed. How they’re so close on Steve’s side of the bed and Eddie must have drifted towards him in his sleep.

He bites his lip to stop his smile from spreading too wide, there’s still a chance he’s misinterpreting things, “yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

“And who would that be?” Steve asks, leaning in even closer until he feels Eddie’s small puffs of breath across his face. 

“You,” Eddie whispers but Steve hears it clearly. 

He takes a moment to bask in it, to let it wash over him before he responds.

“That’s good,” Steve tells him eventually and Eddie’s eyes are so wide and open, and so pretty, “because I dreamt of you.” 

He knows it’s cheesy so he doesn’t give Eddie time to respond, just leans in and closes the remaining gap between them. Slots their lips together. Eddie gasps into the kiss, grabs Steve by the hair, and pulls him in. Makes all these cute noises that make Steve want and want and want. 

He shifts, goes to put his leg in between Eddie’s to move on top of him and get a better angle. But he only gets halfway before Eddie grabs his hips and twists them around. Pushes Steve flat on his back and straddles him. 

He grins down at Steve. 

“You think the Scandinavian magic worked or was it just dream psychology and wishful thinking?” 

“Does it matter?” Steve asks, way too earnestly. But like, they’ve just spent this whole time doing some true love magic so he thinks it’s fine, “got what I wanted.” 

“It’s forever though,” Eddie points out, bending down to bite at Steve’s jaw, “if we believe the old Norse people.” 

Steve hears the question there, thinks this might be Eddie’s way of asking what this means to Steve. His way of telling Steve this isn’t just a hookup for him.

“God yeah,” Steve exhales, “I fucking hope so.” 

He feels Eddie smile into his neck and grabs his hair, uses it to pull him back and steer him into another kiss. 

#listen I wrote this today while actively celebrating midsummer during any break i had so lets just hope it makes sense and isn't riddled #with mistakes but if it is i can only apologize... #literally me with anything ever 'but what if it was steddie tho?' like damn del calm down #posting this after midnight tho so just shhh about it okay? ive been busy busy #me: ill work on my wips #also me immediately: *writes something else* #but it was for the occasion so #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #dels steddie thoughts #my writing #stranger things #steddie fic

[mementoasts]

i'm obsessed with sixth fisherman daigo

#WHAT IF I SAID THIS IS THE SECOND CUTEST DAIGO AFTER EMO DAIGO...... TIRED DISHEVELED DAIGO FISHING WITH HIS GAY UNCLES..... #SHES JUST SO CUUUUUTE AND THE TURTLENECCKKKK AAAAAAAAAAA #there's so much going on man so much so much i'm still feeling ill abt the summit. and have yall SEEN the jjk leaks #AND SEPARATE WAYS IS TOMORROW IM STILL FEELING FERAL ABT THAT TOO AAUAGUFUH #ok ok im normal im normal. hey what if masato showed up in 8 wouldn’t that be cra-- OOKKAY CALM DOWN SHAY IM NORMAL #rgg #dojima daigo #yakuza #like a dragon infinite wealth #the void given form

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the picnic table scene

#this isnt going to make sense to literally any of you for a long time and im sorry about that #but FUCK was i writing this morning #man. man man man man Man the motivation Hit #this fic might get done after all... #i need. to go sleep. OUASGAHSAKJSNCADCLSKDVMS; #THEY MAKE ME INSANE THEY MAKE ME INSANE #YALL ALREADY KNOW WHO IM TALKING ABOUT #THEY MAKE ME CRAZY AGH AGH AGH #ok. ok. ill sleep. and we'll see if the scene holds up when my brain is Refreshed #absolutely unprompted #throwing myself to the ground and howling #who do i need to BITE #oh 7 am me we're really in it now #literally getting myself too worked up. im. Emotional. i almost feel like tearing up #if that was something i could do lmao #fortunately crying does not come easily to me but in my heart im like. idk. Sobbing #anyway in order to calm down im gonna go think about something that makes me equally insane #which is the OG reason i designed a butterfly look for howdy. yass!howdy's origins <3 #slamming my face through drywall ok bye im off to crazyville where i can catch a layover to sleepytown

[significant-ace-nnoyance]

headcanon that after bloodbending in tartarus percy is more sensitive to feeling the water in blood meaning that he can sometimes feel annabeth’s pulse quicken when she looks at him or when he tucks her hair behind her ear or says something sweet

#can you tell i’m mentally ill about them #based on that one kanej scene #where nina says kaz catches his breath every time he sees inej like it’s the first time #(kaz autocorrected to jazz i just want to share that) #also i feel like percy wouldn’t say anything about it he’d just privately smile to himself each time #OR annabeth would be starting to have an anxiety attack someday and he’d realize before she said anything and help calm her down #and afterwards she’d be like wait how did you know my heart was beating too fast #and he’d be like uhhhhh soooo 🙃and tell her all embarrassed and bashful like #and she’d find that’s so sweet like tell me you don’t want to jump off a bridge thinking of annabeth finding out abt that #and that her heart still skips a beat around percy after all these years #i feel physically ill typing this #percy jackson #annabeth chase #percabeth #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo <3 #percy series #percy jackson and the olympians

[gobstoppr]

[mild gore warning]

[WIP]. my hands r tired. hopefully tomorrow ill want to finish it (im so bad at finishing something if its not that same day).

#art #wip #uhhhh #gore #cw gore #cw animal death #? #yeah thats close enough. #yeah uh. i got annoyed from my parents earlier n couldnt relax so. i mad angst art of a fish #it did help calm me down.. #this is my first time drawing gore and shit. im still trying to get that depth to the wound ykno #this is all being made in one layer so ill have to add blood on top after im happy with other parts of it #pleassssssseeeeeeeeee god let me be able to finish this tomorrooowww

[mcdannowave]

When you get frustrated ‘cause your sister decides to listen to your husband’s advice rather than yours.

#h50 9x23 #face palm #annoying #hawaii five 0 #reaction gif #steve mcgarrett #alex o'loughlin #(look at that neck. Danny could bury himself there for a whole night.but Cmd McG can't show up at work w/ hickeys xD) #(of course. that doesn't stop Steve from 'nibbling' Danny's body bc he's a possessive neanderthal.and maybe.some bites too) #Danny don't complain 'at the moment' bc he's too busy having his bliss.but after? #''Oh.My.GOD! Look at this Steven! it looks like i was attacked by some creature!!''..Danny gesture to his body.after he leaves the bathroom #''Oh?Those are just some love marks.Danno.I know u like it--'''...''That's not the point u putz.I can't even take my shirt off for days'' #''C'mon. its not that bad''...''/not that bad?/Look at this scratches on my back!The position.What do u think people would realize I did?'' #''That u rode a very hung stallion and it was amazing?😏''..Danny closed his eyes.Steve knew he was counting to 5 to calm down #''Okay.okay.I'm sry..okay?''Steve got up the bed.'Ill be more careful.but u gotta show me some hints that we going too far or rough.okay?'' #Danny knew Steve for yrs.and it was true.They knew what the other liked.and communication was fundamental for their relationship #''Okay''Danny simply put.light smile on his face.'But now.U're going to take the kids to this saturday beach event while i watch tv here'' #''What?!I thought u said u would do it?After i promised to take charlie to training the whole month?'' #''Well.You break u pay.my friend. I can't show up shirtless there the entire afternoon full of people.specially w/ lots of kids'' #''But Danno--''...''No.It says it's gonna be a 37C degrees.i'm gonna cook w/ a shirt.Don't forget sunscream.Love you'' #And w/ a kiss. Danny put his robe and got out of their room for some food downstairs. While Steve still looked astonished #After recomposing himself.Steve actually wasn't frustrated.It was worth it.Both the amazing time w/ his love.And spending time w/ the kids #mine #headcanon tags

[lover-of-mine]

I think we really need to stop ignoring Eddie's flavor of abandonment issues because it's very interesting.

#911 #thoughts thoughts thoughts #ill elaborate later #after i slept now that ive calmed down enough from the fact that my computer #CAUGHT ON FIRE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

[pekodayz]

right after i ordered dd. got notif. stared at it, felt tears on my face. duffleeeee?!!!! ty so fucking much for the beautiful gift of my idiot , aini @duffledunce

#SHAKING U #I NEED TO CALM DOWN OR ILL GETBA HEART ATTACK?!!!!! #i already went insane in dm but fr ty so so so so so so so is so sososososososososososososos much #it was like static in my ears and the only thing i could hear was my heart beating #me and the phone were the only 2 in existence #holding my head idc if my food gets cold ive been staring at this f #THANK U SOEEEE MUCH #LOVE #THANK U DUFFLE AUGHHHHH #i didn’t even know what to do after like do i pace around the house 1 lap or just die #boxofgoodies

[bitemygigabits]

I hate. HATE. That if you have an invisible illness, going to an instacare or hospital or ANY new doctor where you haven't "proven" yourself to them (fuck that too by the way) you have to basically DIE in front of the medical staff, and not just die, but die in a way that is "believable" and "couldn't be faked" in order for them to believe you are suffering and give you the good medications that will actually alleiviate your suffering.

Fuck this whole stupid system and the war on drugs and everything that has led humans to judge others to be undeserving of pain relief and medical care until they have suffering so severe even a baby can tell they are in agony.

#bitemylip #chronic illness #chronic pain #i dont talk about this stuff a lot but #im incredibly fed up right now #i had to go in 3 times and after suffering for 3 weeks i was finally given an opiate with a lot of suspicious looks #and it helped calm everything down and i improv3d within 24 hours #only had to take three doses and am now off it already #no worse for wear #almost a month of suffering #and for what #fear i was drug seeking or faking it #im so angry. this isnt even the first time this has happened

[baladric]

all i am saying is the drifter literally cannot die because the god of death has just enough juice left over from the immortal cell’s theft of its entropic dominion for death (jackal) to put the drifter in a handy little resurrective time loop, qed the howl we hear every time the drifter dies in battle, after which he’s immediately returned to the last save point—prone, and visibly exhausted as he hefts himself to his feet again, almost as if he physically feels like he has just been very badly hurt, as if he remembers it. and then—and then—though his quest has been fueled at its core by the desire to cure his worsening sickness (which, sidenote, seems pretty resultant of hyper light as a power in itself), what happens at the end of it all, when death’s powers are returned in full?

it lets him go, because there’s no cure for the symptoms of mortal hubris

#magic as a corruptive force... my beloved..... #like obvs knowing the creator the drifter and the guardians' illnesses are an exploration of chronic illness and that sword of damocles #of knowing you could go at any moment and choosing (being forced) to continue anyway #but??? #MAN idk #the drifter seems to get sick -after- coming to the land of light?? #like in the opening scene he starts coughing after landing in the middle of the devastation #like i think the land of light MAKES him sick #and i think hyper light originated in the immortal cell's corruption #or at least makes him vulnerable to it #hence him staggering and coughing when you use up your dash stamina #hhHHHH man idk idk #i need to calm down but my brain is just TICKIN #hyper light drifter #hld

[offlineblues]

gosh i can't sleep at all. i just keep thinking about That Character. Vector snuck up on me and definitively became my first favorite in this series (along with Kaito)

he's so irredeemable and poisonous and bad to the very core and i love it way too much. i love evil guys wahaha...

his warped heart and soul were still believed in, though... by Yuma... wah... it's really good... i'm being plagued by him (positive)

#caroblogging #i think i'm going to be ill bc ZX is messing me up #a once kind prince who accepted his twisted fate and the darkness #it's so good i can't calm down at all after watching today #can you be a fan of a fictional character that a fictional character made up (Rei)

[note-boom]

I was thinking about BSD's female characters again (as one does) and being mildly frustrated that a lot of their trauma comes from being controlled by an outside male source....and then it hit me.

Almost EVERY BSD character has a past and trauma rooted in being controlled or having a lack of control.

Atsushi under the orphanage headmaster. Akutagawa under Dazai. Kyouka under Akutagawa (and keep in mind Koyou helped get her out in the end). Yosano under Mori. Kenji losing control after his best friend dying. Chuuya under the government and then the Port Mafia. Koyou losing control over her freedom thanks to the old boss. Ranpo having no control over his own self and having been isolated from the world. The Hunting Dogs under the government. Sigma under the DoA and the Book. Even Dazai a little (more on that later).....just this persistent theme of people not getting control over their lives.

And you know what that sounds like? Characters in a story being manipulated by an author.

We have this persistent theme of literature and writing and books throughout BSD, after all. And this incessant use of a character having a tragic past rooted in lack of control or losing control and being manipulated by some superior force screams (to me at least) literary imagery. And what's most interesting is that Dazai both is a character and a manipulator.

Of course he's not the only one pulling the strings, as we know. But he does eat up a BIG part of the narrative, I think...a character who previously had no will to seek out anything to do (and thus adopted the values or reasons of the people around him) trying to craft a narrative of his own after the death of his friend. A character essentially trying to become the author (the light novel Beast just makes me wonder more about this, tbh). But also one whose story is told through the stories of other characters.

And what I find interesting about that AND Beast with regards to Dazai is this page from Vol 17...

People writing. The writer including their own self into the story. Being both a character AND an author and in that sense taking control of your own life and your circumstances....

I'm not sure where I'm going with all this, but I just wanted to really point out that part of a lot of the BSD characters' narratives have to do with this lack of control over their own lives....and we see the ADA full of people trying to take back control. Kunikida and his ideals, Yosano and her healing, Ranpo being the agency's core, Atsushi trying to save people, and Dazai trying to become the author in other people's lives if he can't be the author of his own (his inability to die, you know?).

So my question honestly is just what's the deal with that? Am I making mountains out of molehills or seeing themes and motifs that aren't there? And if not, what does the existence of the Book say about these characters struggling to write their own narratives? (Or the narratives of others, in Dazai's case). Just....literary imagery in BSD and the "toxic" relationship between the author and the character....

#yes my ponderings are always a bit of a stretch #blame my sleep deprived mind for that #im gonna make it even more a stretch though #by saying that koyou a female character helping kyouka write herself out of the control of others also feels literarily significant? #its the BOOKISH THEMES #the way all these characters seemed trapped under something greater that guides their actions #even mori with natsume's tri-something scheme #you ever wonder if natsume also kind of serves as an audience for the lives of the characters? #something something i am a cat being a book about a cat watching society go about in its nonsense #and something about the audience being able to influence the characters through their own interpretations #as i clearly am absurdly doing please forgive this #truth be told tho there are so many angles one could take on bsd and this is why ill always kick past me for getting into unfinished media #also yes this post came after me pondering the female characters post i reblogged (both of these are queued so no clue when it will appear) #of course there's a lot i havent considered...such as the postwar angle and philosophical one #man i think way too much about a stupid manga that decided to protect author thirst into a supernatural genre.... #does this kind of poking about even fit the depth this manga is trying to go down to? #oh well i said what i said and this is ultimately a blog where i release my unhealthy fixation on bsd in attempts to calm it #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd musings #bsd theories #too lazy to tag all the characters #rambling in the tags sorry #bsd manga spoilers #manga spoilers #bsd spoilers #spitting nonsense #oh...tho shoutout to fitzgerald for the person controlling him being two women...dead daughter and wife #yup there's more in the reblogs because i have no self control

[skitskatdacat63]

Sorry guys for being completely unhinged this weekend 🙏 but I can't help it and I refuse to be normal about it

#its been a good weekend what can i say #but like seriously i think this has been the most exciting and insane wknd of my life #like in terms of my interest and hobbies it has been fucking nuts #ive been so deranged thank you mutuals for putting up with me ilysm <3 #ive screamed like actually fully screamed at the top of my lungs at least three times this weekend #(the end of that quali session and then josef winning the 500 and then the tomgreg moment) #but i feel like ive just been on crack this whole weekend #its just been insane event after insane event and ive just been completely unhinged ! #but its been so much fun i dont think ive had this much excitement and fun in my life in so long #(bahrain probably hsjdjfkf) #okay anyways i need to have like at least 24 hours to calm down so bear with me #AND I STILL HAVE TO WATCH BARRY'S FINALE FUCK #but then after ive recovered from this eventful wknd ill be back on my bullshit!(gifing old stuff lolol) #okay just need to scream bcs i really just dont feel normal at all at the moment #like so many times this wknd ive had so many moments where ive been shaking and heart pounding and sweating #took like 50 years off my life but in a pleasant insane way #great fun i am having :D #again love you guys <3 #catie.rambling.txt #oops must add: #succession spoilers

[opens-up-4-nobody]

hi so so sorry if this sounds genuinely deranged but I need to know did you write a fanfiction in like 2014 that was set during ww2 where zoro from one piece was sent to a japanese internment camp and sanji went to conversion therapy I remembered it recently because it blew my mind at age 13 and I had to reread it + need a kind of where are they now with the author so if that's you 1) what's your stance on the fic today 2) how much of the research was done during writing and how much did you just know beforehand and used as inspo 3) did you have any ideas for where the other characters ended up because I did always wonder if like idk chopper overcame the trauma of being in the war and also just what usopp's situation would be in general what with the political climate. once again. if you didn't actually write this fic so sorry this must look like the ravings of a crazy person. godspeed

Hi. Uh, yeah I did write that fic. I would have been like only 17 at the time. I did do A LOT of research, like the fic was basically an excuse for me to research Japanese internment and WWII history in general bc I thought it was super fucked up. I was absolutely hyperfixated on the topic and my parents probably thought i was nuts for my ability to talk at length on this particular area of history. I just finished skim reading back through the fic and woof. What a bleak fucking story. I was very cruel to everyone. It's frustrating bc I think it's an interesting and compelling idea for a story. But to me it feels like: here is all the research I did and also characters talking in what feels like a too modern way. Plus, I was 17 and didnt understand people very well. I wish I had the energy and motivation to rewrite it. Although, I forgot I used to do song lyrics at the start of each chapter and the tonal dissonance of Owl City lyrics at the top of a chapter of harrowing events around the time of WWII is unfathomablly unhinged.

#as for where r they now? i forgot the last chapter was like fuck u nothing matters life goes on sanji probably died of lung cancer #like jesus dude calm down. i think now id give them a bit of a softer ending #like i mean sanji still prob dying of lung cancer but he lives a long life with zoro and thry make the most of the time they have together #and i mean when u see horrific things in war i imagine its something u never really get over but i think the crew members that became #soldiers go on to live fuffilling lives and usopp finds a stable and relatively well paying job. gets married and lives happily ever after #god. its so frustrating to me that ill probably never rewrite this. it could habe been so good #but i just dont have thst kind of energy. i do think abt this fic more than almost all my other tho #im glad u liked it anon. its a fucking unhinged fic just from the perspective of: rural ohio teen wants to research a fucked up aspect of #ww 2 history and decides to write a fucking fanfic abt it. like bro what why. but idk weird weird times #there could have been themes and exploration of trauma and adversity. complex relationships. but no u get cringe written by a child #and now at the age of nearly 26 i am old and tired. christ thst was almost 10 years ago. i was a whole different human #weird the fanfics that stick with u. i have many i think abt from hs. wonder where the authors r now... #unrelated #i also forgot that in the authors nots i was like: if u r a n4zi fucking kill yourself. #which i standby but i was not expecting to see thst in the notes of a one piece fic i wrote as a kid good god

[whywontuluvme]

Onto a lighthearted cdrama now, and very much needed,and what on earth is Duan Jiaxu's problem?!!! He really has the nerve to give Sang Zhi that birthday gift like it was perfectly normal!!!

The audacity of this man.

No because look how soft he looks and then BAM episode 16. Really was not prepared! (Not complaining though).

Edit: PLEASEEEEE HE DIDNT KNOW IM SCREAMING AHHHH

#i swear im developing a breathing problem because of this man #like what #i know for a fact he knew what he was doing #he really does have a facade of that good guy going #no cos honestly i started watching cos of how sad Moving got and then he does that snd i have to pause it cos me going from balling my eyes #out to trying not to scream in front of my family is messing with me #like duan Jiaxu i did not expect this from you #but thats completely my fault because episode 15 had us hinting of you and your audacity #after my heart calms down ill go back to watching it full well knowing ill be pausing and rewinding #episode 16 #cdrama #hidden love

[thethingything]

well we hit a 10 on the pain scale for the first time in about a year and a half and I'd like to never do that again. congrats to this migraine for making it into the top 3 worst migraines we've ever had

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #vent post #I want to know what the fuck triggered one this bad because holy shit #it's calmed down a bit after having a bunch of caffeine and laying in a dark silent room for an hour and a half #it's also giving us flashbacks to the other two that were this bad which sure is an experience #even with the pain not being as bad I still feel so unbelievably ill