#ignore that ryan looks kinda fucked

[arashikages]

quarry doodles

#jacob with the fattest ass award #go king go #the quarry #dylan lenivy #ryan ezrahler #jacob custos #kaitlyn ka #laura kearney #max brinly #my art #art #radioheads #ignore that ryan looks kinda fucked #i dont know what im doing

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Being in a relationship with Kure Raian...

You’d think that Raian, although he’s the black sheep of the clan, would be as obsessed over strong people and fighting as everyone else is - Just like Karla is obsessed over Ohma not because she likes him, but because he’s strong and could produce strong offsprings and whatever - But Raian isn’t that way. 

In fact, even if people like that catch his eye, he would fight the urge to march up to them and strike up a conversation - Rather, if he does find strong people, he might just beat them up.

But there is something that would make Raian all hot and bothered - And that is getting ignored.

Yeah, that’s right.

Raian would literally spontaneously combust if he wants someone’s attention, and he’s getting blatantly ignored or brushed off.

That’s exactly what happened when his younger sister, Fusui, brought over one of her friends. At first, he didn’t care. You were just some pretty face, like many, many others he’s seen... But somehow, your aloof personality and the resting bitch face you were sporting, a complete opposite aura from Fusui, who held the most cheerful grin on her face - Okay, he was intrigued. Not only that, but from what his sister said, you were just a normal person - A cute, little rabbit in a den of lions - Yet you seemed completely at ease and unafraid.

In an instant, Raian found himself towering his large shadow over the spot on the grass where the two girls were having a picnic. He had that psycho grin of his ever present. Fusui greeted him cheerfully, though she sweatdropped, realising that he might be so bored that he wants to scare her friend away. 

Y/N simply gave him a lazy wave of her hand - Her attention was still on Fusui, and she didn’t once break the flow of their conversation. He frowned. Not even a hello? How rude!

Raian’s voice became louder, but also grittier, like the sound of nails scratching a blackboard. He was throwing the most random profanities, and telling Y/N about his latest assassination mission he had, hoping to creep her out with the gore details - Much to his surprise, the small girl casually got to her feet and looked, incredibly bored, into his eyes.

“Hey, Ryan, where did you get this shirt?” Raian blinked, his smile dropping immediately, feeling the girl gingerly pick the hem of his shirt and feeling it. “It feels like cashmere. Is it cashmere? It’s really good quality.” “My name is Raian, you bitch! Get it through that thick skull of yours!” Fusui immediately reprimanded him for insulting her friend - But the insult fell on deaf ears. “Tell me where’d you get it from, Kevin. I kinda want to get one myself.” her hands slowly traced up to his abdomen, but Raian was so flustered up and irritated by getting called such weird names, that he didn’t notice. “I SAID MY NAME IS RAIAN, ARE YOU DEAF?!” he was shouting so loudly, that Y/N could have sworn her eardrums ruptured. “It would be better if the store had an online site - I don’t really have much time to go shopping myself. Actually - Do you think I could have it delivered for Kure Miguel?” Fusui was sure her friend had a death wish, but at the same time, it was kinda hilarious seeing her brother so worked up over his name. “WHO THE FUCK IS MIGUEL?!” his screech was so powerful that he’d put a Banshee to shame. “Dunno.” Y/N shrugged and pushed Raian into the small water pond right behind him. The water barely reached his waist as he was sitting in it, a lilypad on his head. “I’ll kill you.” his voice was so ominous, low, dark, menacing - And solemn, above all else - That Fusui’s heart froze in fear for her friend’s life. “WAIT, NO, RAIAN DON’T ---” but Y/N was laughing so cutely, that Raian stopped abruptly, glaring down at her. Instead of killing her, he threw his arms around her, hearing her groan. “I~ Got~ You~ So~ Weeeeeeeet~ ♪ Babeeeeeeeeeee~♪“ Fusui has never seen her brother like this - She could just stare in complete disbelief. “Technically speaking, I made you wet, Fritz.” the girl put her palm over his face, pushing him away from her. “Now you’ve done it.” Raian grinned widely. Y/N realised his master plan, and she sighed in defeat. “You’re gonna throw me in the water, aren’t you?” he let out a ‘yup’ sound, before he threw her in the pond. If the water was any higher, he’d have jumped with her - But with how little it is, she probably would have barely gotten wet at all. He was laughing so hard, his sides were aching, but he couldn’t stop. She looked like a wet, grumpy dog - Until she, too, started laughing. “Alright, alright, you got me. Good one. Now help me up, psycho.” Raian missed the mischievous smile on her face, and as he crouched down, extending his hand for her to take - Only for her to tug on his hand and have him fall in the water again. “You’re the psycho, not me!” the two looked at each other and started sniggering like two idiots. Fusui just stared at them, perplex, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from them. Did Y/N just manage to tame the Black Sheep of the Kure Clan? Something that not even their Patriarch could do? “You owe me your shirt.” she said blankly, stopping her laughter abruptly. “Any time~♪“ Raian nonchalantly took his shirt off and let it fall on her head. “...Okay, I might have just sabotaged myself.” she sighed, getting up and out of the pond. “I was supposed to have a sleep over. I don’t have any dry clothes anymore.” she stole a glance at the man. “I suppose I can’t stay over anymore. What a pity. Time to get home, I guess.” she shrugged nonchalantly, waving at Fusui and walking towards the exit of the large garden, only to feel herself being picked up bridal style.

Raian had taken her to his room and threw at her all cashmere clothes he had, while Y/N could barely hide her amusement. Clearly, she could wear some of Fusui’s clothes, after all, they’re around the same frame and they are friends - Or she could borrow the clothes of literally any woman of the Kure - Silly boy, so easily tricked. Or maybe he wanted to be tricked? Either way, Y/N found this, by far, the most hilarious situation she ever faced.

By this time, Raian kept bugging on Y/N and Fusui for the whole day, and during the evening, at dinner, Erioh and Karla and her brother had them all eat together. Y/N looked at her friend, her eyes pleading, embarrassed at the get up she was wearing. Suddenly, the whole joke was ruined and she was the one being tricked. How can she possibly go eat dinner with their 1000 year old patriarch and the rest of the family, when she’s barely wearing Raian’s shirt, and albeit long enough to reach the middle of her thigh, it was still improper. Raian didn’t give her any time to beg Fusui for a proper change of clothes, for he grabbed her wrist and dragged her and his sister all the way to the table. He was also still shirtless, so it only made things worse.

Y/N kept her head down the whole time, hoping that her face wouldn’t betray her embarrassment. Karla, Sarla and Fusui were talking casually about their assassin work, Y/N threw some comments here and there, the old man was quiet, and Raian was... Being Raian, and wolfing down a shit ton of food. Until Karla suddenly noticed there was no more water, and the fight for who would be the loser to bring another water carafe started. It genuinely felt like all the Kure children were going to put down the chopsticks and start a brawl to the death - But Y/N broke the tension. “Ah... There’s no more water. This food is so good, but it got me so thirsty... Can you please tell me where the kitchen is, to get more water?” before the old man could blink, Raian had already returned, and was pouring water in Y/N’s cup. “Oh! Thank you, Jericho!” ... Jericho? Erio had no idea what was going on, but he was genuinely impressed by how this outsider managed to quite literally manipulate the most rebelious clan member to do whatever she wanted... And prevented a war. And he was also shocked when he saw Raian placing his small rice bowl over her face, and laughing like an idiot, to the point he was rolling on the ground like a manic.

Y/N slowly removed the bowl from her face and used a napkin to clean all the rice, and she sighed. “Alright, I suppose I deserve it.” her nonchalance was genuinely so weird for all these proactive people. “Your stomach is going to hurt if you continue rolling like that.” she warned. “Also, it’s not nice, playing with your food. What are you, a kitten, Abraham?” Raian straightened up immediately and glared at the girl, watching her continuing to eat without sparing him a single glance. “WHO THE FUCK IS ABRAHAM?! AND I’M NOT A FUCKING CAT, YOU STUPID BITCH!” he shrieked loudly into her ear, but she didn’t flinch. Instead, the hand in which she was holding her own rice bowl slowly made its way to his face. Raian’s whole face had rice all over it, and Y/N wasn’t removing the bowl. “Take this off me, bitch, or I snap your neck!” that is what he said - Or, at least, what he tried to say, for the rice kept muffling him. “It’s not nice to speak like that, especially in front of your family... Or... To me. You really made me sad...” her voice was pouty and upset - Erio couldn’t believe the power she had over him, and as far as he was concern, this was the first time they met. By the looks of it, everyone was still in shock. “Y/N....” she slowly took away the bowl from his face, and with perfect precision, used her chopsticks to take a single rice grain from his face, and taunted him by eating it.

The whole room was quiet. They were preparing for the girl’s funeral. That is, until they saw her turn her head to the side, biting her lip and her shoulders were shaking. Raian’s face also suddenly split in a wicked grin. Suddenly, a few rice grains started falling off his face, and Y/N couldn’t keep herself in check anymore, and she started laughing, and so did the psycho. Y/N took another rice with her chopsticks, and they ended up laughing even harder. “Weirdos.” Fusui smiled wryly, completely surprised that her friend was getting along with her brother better than with her. “Y/N’s going to be our new sister, Fusui! I want to take care of your babies with Raian! I bet they’re going to be so strong!” the laughter stopped, and the atmosphere changed immediately. Y/N looked down, her face red with embarrassment, whilst Raian immediately wiped his face and glared at Karla, shouting at her for being an idiot. After this, no other fun moments happened, and Y/N returned to Fusui’s room.

Surprisingly, Raian doesn’t always act like he’s fucked in the head, nor is his voice harsh and loud. Late into the night, he sneaked into the girls’ room and woke Y/N up, and with a playful smirk, he urges her to follow him outside, and he takes her back to the pond. The two didn’t speak much, and just gazed up at the stars for a while. It was a serene and comfortable silence, though there was a certain tension between them, and neither spoke. It was weird. 

Raian would take off his warm jacket and put it over her shoulders, as she was still wearing just his cashmere shirt - He knew it would be chilly outside. He knew he wanted to see her, but he had no idea what to say. Karla’s comment really threw him off his grove, and it seemed to have done the same for Y/N, who was able to purposely get a raise out of him so many times in a single day, to the point that he was so hot and bothered that he’d have claimed her on the spot. A hundred times, and more. But that vanished completely, and now he annoyingly felt like some kind of awkward teenage boy, and he hated it.

“Hey, Bruce Lee.” Y/N’s voice wasn’t challenging nor provoking, and though it irked Raian to be called by a wrong name again, the softness of her voice only made him grumble. “Do you know how to put 100 babies in a single bucket?” “Huh? What the hell are ya on?” he snapped his head at her, looking with a weird expression on his face.  Y/N turned to face him, and her smile grew, as if she was trying not to laugh at herself for the stupid joke she was about to reveal. “In a blender.” 

Raian stared stupid at her, eyes wide, unblinking - He almost looked as though he was analysing the very milimeters of her ever growing grin. Raian’s humour was shit. Dark jokes that involve carnage, or simply shock value... Maybe even a shit joke, but with a good momentum delivery... And Y/N’s joke seemed to check all the boxes.

His laugh resounded so loud through the Kure village that the two actually heard “SHUT UP” scolds right back. Y/N was trying hard to stifle her chuckles, but to no avail. “You’re actually kinda cute when you laugh.” “What’s big and smells like shit? GENOCIDE!” he was choking from laughing so much, while Y/N’s mouth twitched. Shit joke, shit delivery.  “Your joke was about as bad as your sense of humour, Jose. But it’s fine. I’ll be the funny one of us.” she looked away, shrugging nonchalantly. “If ya call me by another name ONE! MORE! TIME!!! I swear, I’ll fuckin’ kill ya, babe!” he sneered at her with a glare. “Do it, Dennis.” Y/N found herself being roughly pushed to the ground, though her head didn’t collide, as it was carefully pillowed by his palm. She did not see the starry night, but his face - Handsome, and so impossibly close to her own. He sniggered like a mischievous demon. “You’re trapped, babe~♪ What’cha gonna do now~♪?”

Y/N blinked, realising the situation she was in. Not only was she trapped in those big and warm arms of his, but his body was also almost flush against her own. They were so close, that she feared Raian felt how fast her heart was beating against her chest... And against his own also.

But Y/N’s response was unexpected - Gingerly wrapping her fingers into his cashmere shirt... Did he choose it intentionally? - She pulled herself up to plant tender kiss on his lips. For a maniac, he had very plump and kissable lips. Eventually, she pulled away and laid back on the ground, shyly looking at the completely unresponsive boy.

Kure Raian, the Demon, the Black Sheep of the Kure clan - Was blushing like a highschool boy with a crush. How is he supposed to react? What is he supposed to do? Just -- What just happened? He is so lost that he’s making Y/N uncomfortable with how he’s staring at her so intently.

“U-Uh... Wh-What do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?” hearing her voice, albeit, shaky and unsure, unlike before, brought him back to reality. “What?” he breathed out. “...Fucked.” Y/N’s smile was so nervous and awkward. “Marry me.”

Since that night, Raian began his “Marry me” gimmick - And though it was obviously a gag, he half-meant it every time he said it.

Nobody ever believed that Raian would ever have a proper relationship, considering that everyone ostracizes him for being a merciless idiot, but the way he’s unintentionally simping SO hard for you is almost hilarious. How you learnt to tame the beast that he is, it’s a complete miracle. The Clan literally watches you, leaning at the base of a tree, reading leisurely, and you bait Raian into doing whatever you want, like - Make you a lemonade, or have him go get an ice-cream. All the weirdest things.

But if that wasn’t shocking enough, the fact that that boy can actually stay STILL for more than 5 seconds at a time, was absolutely fascinating. The patriarch would sit on the porch of the house and watch Raian sitting with his head on your lap as you absently play with his hair - And he actually stays there, and doesn’t laugh, or speak a thousand words per second, or throws profanities - He’s just laying there, a passive smile on his face, and living in the moment.

What a fascinating creature.

Raian always tells you all the most gruesome details of every mission he goes on, hoping he would creep you out - But you just nod at him dismissively and tell him to go on with his story.

Raian loves to show off when he’s training, knowing perfectly well that he’s attractive, wearing only his fighting shorts, with sweat dripping all over his flexed muscles... And then chases you around the garden to give you a hug, knowing you don’t want his disgusting sweat all over your clothes.

Fusui becomes your literal best friend, though you’re wary of Karla and her obsessive comments - She’s a good girl otherwise. Generally, you get along well with the clan, but both you and Raian agree that you need a break from them, so you crash at your own, away from all the madness the chaotic assassins dwell in.

When you’re hanging at your home, you feel more comfortable to act a bit more intimate. Don’t be fooled by his brashness, if you get together before he’s like - 20 years old, he’d probably brush off the idea of going any further - Unless you initiate it, then he’s game.

He just likes to be the best at everything he does, and while he was born into a family of fighting and killing, being intimate is something completely different, and it annoys him that he’s not a God from the very beginning - Although, he makes up with his eagerness and his absolute love of touching each and every part of your body and teasing you with a ton of kisses. He’s actually a natural, and the cute faces and sounds you make are his fuel, especially when he surprises you.

When you get intimate, he’s not afraid to experiment things and easily picks up on the things that you like and you don’t.

He also loves kissing you until you can’t breathe anymore.

Kisses with Raian are careful and soft at first, but quickly get deeper and more passionate, and he starts kissing and nipping at your bottom lip, licking and sucking on it before pulling you even closer to his body.

The problem is, he loves hugging you from behind and nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck that he forgets he’s not always at home, in private, with you only, and he starts nipping at the soft skin on your neck.

The inside joke of calling him different names continues well into the years, and it confuses most people - The problem is, you often forget what names you used, and he teases you by pointing out you called him the same name twice in a week.

He wants to see you wearing his shirt at home and preferably nothing else underneath, while he stays topless and purposely flexes, to the point that he’s ridiculous.

Raian is incredibly playful, even if it goes borderline genocidal, it’s just how he is - And you always make fun of him for trying too hard.

Years after you met, he gets in the Kengan Annihilation Tournament, and of course, he refuses to go unless you’re with him - And honestly, how can anyone complain, considering you’re the only thing keeping him somehow stable? Though, you sometimes have the bad habit of letting him play around a bit too much.

You also kinda laugh when he’s threatening and playing around with Lihito in the bathroom, though you also scold him for dragging you in the men’s bathroom and unintentionally being forced to see that idiot’s... Privates.  

You’re also a bit irked by his unnecessary sadist show against Mokichi, especially as he’s called out your name, and you wanted nothing to do with him killing the only guardian of a little girl.  

When you scolded and refused to speak to him until he apologised, he got angry as all fuck and went on a rampage, and despite the Kure literally pleading to you to make him stop - You didn’t.  

Surprisingly, though, he was humbled in the second round by Tokita Ohma - And you mentally thanked the brunet for being strong enough and putting a dent into Raian’s ever-going berserk attitude.  

 Though Ohma was in a coma, Raian woke up soon after, and he found in the infirmary, alone with Mokichi and Ohma.

The room was quiet, save for the beeping of the oxygen machines, and you refused to even look at him, which angered him.

But then you explained why you were pissed with him, and also, why he lost so pathetically - And though he wanted to snap your neck for scolding him, he also knows she was right, not that he’d admit.

During the coup d’etat, he threw all of his frustrations into mass-killing, but once again, his bloodlust made him lose focus, and he got injured again.

Though you didn’t say anything, you did patch him up - He was so silent, that it made you realise he was actually reflecting on his downfall.

And you kissed him.

Over the course of almost three years after the Kengan Tournament, when Ohma comes over to the village to life and train with them, you can see Raian focusing more, and though the brutality is still there, he can actually control it.

Ohma became a trusted confidant and good friend of yours, and the two of you could comfort each other with the two Kure obsessing over you.

Raian’s gimmick with the marriage thing was amped up, though it was more or less to make fun of Karla... Not that she’d realise.

Over the years, Raian made sure to actually teach you how to fight to defend yourself, despite priding himself with being being so powerful that she’d never get herself in danger.

When you reveal Ohma to the world and go visit Koga and Ryuki at the hospital, you see Raian had climbed up the 5th floor and was mocking the young boys.

So you went up to him and pushed him off.

Everyone except for Ohma gawked, afraid for his life.

You just show him the selfie Raian sent you, while he was falling - He was pulling an overly exaggerated kissy face.

Dork.

He was a bit annoyed with how empathetic you were, comforting or cheering every fighter (except for Akoya) for their matches, so he keeps you caged in his arms, teasing you with small comments and kisses to your neck and cheeks.

To stop himself from going ape-shit from the wait leading to his own match, he snatched your hands and would absently play with them or kiss them.

Though the whole Worm thing was worrying you - You didn’t want anything bad happening to the family, or these Kengan people. They all looked like good people. 

But then Raian’s match came by and he was fighting Alan Wu, a clear enemy.

You pulled Raian into a kiss, more or less to have the time to warn him not to lose his cool and actually focus on the match, not on his bubbling emotions.

He just grins and brush off your worries, saying he’s a changed man and what not.

But then he gets threatened with a knife, sees Edward Wu in the hallway...

And he rips Alan in two in a split second, running after his arch enemy.

You stare at the mess left behind that was once a person, and you curse out loud - Raian’s lost it and he’s gonna get in trouble.

You don’t care that Alan was killed, but you fear Raian and his impulsiveness might get him in such a tight situation that he might get himself killed.

Even though Erio and the other two are there.

You and Ohma look at each other, and together, you pick Karla and rush to look for Raian, ready to potentially help him in a fight.

Only to see Kure Erio on the ground and dying.

Raian was sitting on the ground, livid with anger, feeling defeated.

They should have won with no casualties! So why the heck did the old fart use himself bait?! And why wasn’t he strong enough to kill those fuckers without the need of aid?!

He was filled with so many feelings of self-hatred and anger, that even your arms around him, or your comforting words couldn’t drown them out.

You held his hand throughout the funeral and comforted him for days on end, but Raian was still bitter.

Since then, you took a more active role in searching for the Worms - You might not have been a fighter, but you were smart enough to come up with plans and do the brain work for them.

Since the patriarch’s death, Raian visibly mellows down, at least around you, and he finally realises how fragile life can be - And if even that old man, who was the strongest man he knows, who was the first Fang of Metsudo and whatever... If even he could die... What about someone like you, who’s such a fragile little bunny? What if he’s not there to protect you? Not that his presence mattered when Erio died. And, worse - What if you’re used as bait to get to him? What if you get killed in front of him?

Being an assassin means that he’s seen and done a lot of cruel things himself, so he puts all the worst in front.

The night of the patriarch’s funeral, you hold his body close to your own, his head on your chest, and you play with his hair, allowing him to vent his anger with any profanity he might feel the need to spew.

But his silence is far worse than all his anger.

During that very night, Raian came to the realisation of a lifetime.

He pulls you into a tight embrace, and hides his face in the crook of your neck, so you wouldn’t see the single tear of sheer self-anger and regret.

 And in the most broken, vulnerable voice, you hear him voice the words that he’s been meaning to tell you for so long, but stopped himself, thinking he’d sound weak or something that didn’t matter anymore.

“I love you.”

---------------

Being in a relationship with Wakatsuki Takeshi... Being in a relationship with Yoroizuka Saw Paing... Being in a relationship with Kure Raian... Being in a relationship with Tokuno’o Tokumichi... Being in a relationship with Kano Agito... Being in a relationship with Gaolang Wongsawat... Being in a relationship with Gaoh Ryuki... Being in a relationship with Narushima Koga...

#kengan ashura imagine #kengan ashura x reader #kengan ashura #kengan omega #kengan omega x reader #kengan omega imagine #kure raian x reader #kure raian imagine #kure raian #kure karla #kure fusui #kure erio #tokita ohma #kure sarla

[pessimisticpigeonsworld]

https://www.tumblr.com/crushingthebroken/741170379192745984/the-fact-ryan-condal-keeps-hitting-with-the?source=share

I think there is a lot of bias in this analysis, what is your opinion?

Yes, there's definitely a lot of bias here; op is so clearly a pissy TG stan. This analysis is rife with observation bias and just plain misinformation. I do sympathize with some of their points though. Op is doing something I've seen a lot of TG stans do: projecting the issues in HOTD onto Rhaenyra.

HOTD is a pretty bad adaptation, full of inconsistent characters and just plain fucking up the characterizations of the people. The Velaryons definitely suffer more than most other characters from this. They made Rhaenys rather antagonistic to Rhaenyra, turned Laena into basically nothing, made Laenor a deadbeat dad, and Corlys is just kinda there.

However, op's complaints about the Velaryons' representation show their bias very obviously. They don't complain about Rhaenys' characterization until she's supporting Rhaenyra. They don't talk about the issues Laenor's running away brings in, just about how it makes the Velaryons' support of the Blacks confusing. They complain about Corlys not being hated for offering Laena to Viserys, but don't acknowledge how the show purposely aged Laena down to younger than Rhaenyra to make Corlys look worse. The most damning however, is how they complain about how Corlys didn't care about Vaemond's death.

Vaemond is killed both in the book and the show, both times because he was slandering Rhaenyra and calling her sons bastards. Daemon kills him both times (with Rhaenyra's approval in the book, which was a slay tbh). Corlys doesn't care in either occurrence because Vaemond was attempting to usurp Corlys' line and his chosen successors. Op choosing to ignore the actual truth of the situation shows they just hate Rhaenyra and are bitter HOTD didn't go all the way with making the Velaryons disloyal to her.

Moving on to their complaints about Rhaenyra's portrayal, another thing I agree with to an extent. HOTD made Rhaenyra into a much more passive character than she actually was. They made her virtually inactive politically, removed her approval of Vaemond's execution, and made it so she was unwilling to go to war until Luke's murder. They showed their benevolent misogyny. However, op isn't angry about the sexism of this portrayal or how they nerfed an interesting and fun character, rather about how she does fewer morally ambiguous and questionable things. They're upset that HOTD made it harder to say Rhaenyra is an evil bitch without revealing the misogyny of TG.

Op also complains about how HOTD doesn't condemn Daemon enough while actually portraying how awful Aegon, Criston, and Vaemond are. This shows how op isn't actually using media literacy. Condal and Hess constantly condemn Daemon and went out of their way to make him worse than he is in the book. Daemon didn't murder Rhea or abuse Rhaenyra in the book, those are things they added to make him look worse. Meanwhile they actively defend Aegon raping women and go out of their way to make him more "sympathetic".

Op also sympathizes with Criston, because apparently him being held accountable for his own decisions is wrong. He chose to sleep with Rhaenyra, he chose to murder Joffrey, he chose to dedicate the rest of his life to ruining hers. Criston isn't a good person, he isn't a victim, he made all his choices and can't accept the consequences of them.

Op also reveals how they are very anti Valyrian by throwing in a spiel about how Daemon is a neo-nazi and the Valyrians are fundamentally evil for utilizing slavery. Yes, slavery is abominable, however, criticizing Daemon and Rhaenyra for wanting to hold onto their cultural traditions that have nothing to do with slavery or human exploitation isn't wrong. If every person was expected to abandon their culture just because the culture has morally wrong practices, no person could ever hold onto their culture. This applies to the other cultures of AWOIAF, including TG's precious Andals who tried to literally murder any religion other than the Faith. Daemon valuing his culture is the least condemnable thing he's ever done.

Op also complains about how Otto is portrayed as being an awful person. I have to say, a TG stan wanting to defend Otto is new to me, but not very surprising. Of course Otto is portrayed as bad and the head of the greens, they took away all of Alicent's agency and had to give it to someone. Otto is a raging misogynist and only cares about power, that's all there is to him, but apparently he's more sympathetic than Rhaenyra for some reason.

In conclusion anon, yes, this is an extremely biased "analysis". Op hates Rhaenyra and is upset that Condal and Hess didn't go out of their way to make her the primary antagonist of the show. Apparently it isn't enough that they outright defend a rapist and made the Velaryons completely nonsensical. TG stans are ridiculous and are driven purely by hatred of Rhaenyra and/or House Targaryen, op is no exception.

#anti team green #anti team green stans #anti aegon ii targaryen #anti criston cole #anti otto hightower #rhaenyra targaryen #anti rhaenyra antis #team black #anti hotd #daemon targaryen #corlys velaryon #rhaenys targaryen #laena velaryon #anti targaryen antis

[hineygorerage1]

Hey could you do a prompt of us texting one of the CKY crew a dirty message in front of the rest of the guys and what they'd do once they got us alone after maybe?

(the band and the others) 💕💕

Prompt: texting them “I’m not wearing panties, come fuck me.” In front of the crew

Fandom: CKY

Bam: *ding* hm? … fuck- uh.. hey, (your name), could you meet me in my room for a sec?… please? (He got you alone and had you pinned to the bed for hours taking every inch of him until you couldn’t feel your legs)

Ryan: *ding* oh, Jesus! What’re you texting me now!?— oh… hey, guys, could you leave for just a sec? I gotta.. take care of something. (Once he’d gotten you to himself, he made you sit on his lap and tell him every detail of how needy you were for him and how bad you needed him. Then he took note of all of your fantasies and slowly fulfilled them as he fucked you against the couch.)

Dico: Yeah!! So basically I had raab in the cart- *ding* huh? Oh, it’s from (your name). gimme a sec. (He read the message and immediately shot a glance at you before hiding his phone screen. He spent the whole night slowly teasing you with gentle touches and once even putting his hand up your sundress to see how wet you were. He loved it, especially since you were so responsive. After so long of teasing you, he finally took his opportunity once you were alone, and bent you over the table. He fucked you senseless.)

Raab: *ding* hm?- wait, uh.. guys I gotta— (he texted back, “kinda busy. Can it wait?” To which you responded by going to the bathroom and taking a picture of how wet you were, “no.”. Before you know it, he was in the bathroom with you, undressing himself and helping you take off your sundress before taking his hands and putting them on your tits. He bent you over the sink and covered your mouth, holding you in place. He wanted you to see how pretty you looked in the bathroom mirror when he fucked you, which he did. Hard.)

Rake: dico, shut the fuck up! You totally didn’t do that!!- *ding* huh? (Rake pulled out his phone and checked the screen, eyes widening immediately. He began slowly typing, “pretty girl, don’t tease me.”. You felt your stomach twist before looking at him with a more desperate look, spreading your legs shamelessly for him to see. Thankfully, only he did. Once he saw your wet needy cunt, he stood up and grabbed your wrist to pull you to a empty room. “You really want it? Ask nicely,” he lifted your chin. You proceeded to ask politely for him to fuck you, which he absolutely did. He was passionate and hard, but made sure not to hurt you. Once he finished, he took time to pleasure you so that you could do the same.)

Jess: *ding* hm? You need something? (He glanced at the screen but paid it no mind. It made you bummed out and even needier, which he ignored as well. After the party, you were alone in Jesses room, sitting in his bed. He walked in and immediately stopped in his tracks at the sight of you, laughing. “Aw, are you upset?.. Jesus, take off your dress and quit pouting.” He undid his pants. After you were both undressed, he got you on the bed and laid down with your legs spread. As he fucked you he explained that he didn’t wanna ruin the party by going and fucking his loud girlfriend, which was fair because you moaned loud.)

Chad: *ding.* Jesus Christ, you’re so annoyi- (he looked up at you excitedly before replying, “come sit on my lap,” he patted it subtly. He made sure no one was looking before pulling your dress up on the back and pushing his dick into you. You had to sit there pretending like he wasn’t subtly fucking you. “Just keep quiet, baby..” he whispered in your ear before using his other hand to hold your hip in place as he grinded into you. As everyone left to watch bam do some tricks, he immediately began pounding into you on his lap, holding one hip and using his other hand to put his fingers in your mouth. He had you begging for more in tears by the end of it, which he didn’t give you until later that night.)

Deron: *ding* (he didn’t say a word, but quickly saw your text. He looked at everyone else and rolled his eyes. He texted back, “you can wait. If you really wanted it THAT bad, you’d ask me yourself.” And he put his phone on silent. You took the hint and walked up to him shamelessly before asking the same question, ‘deron, I’m so wet.. can you fuck me please?’. He looked embarrassed by you doing that in front of everyone but stood up anyways and grabbed your wrist. He yanked you into a empty room and pinned you to the wall. “Are you a moron?!?! Why would you do that?!” He shouted, looking down at your thighs, he put his hand up your dress and his hand was immediately soaked. “Jesus, you really were needy..” he whispered to you before pulling his pants down to his knees and lifting your legs to his hips. He fucked you against the wall until you could barely think.)

#chad i ginsburg #cky #cky crew #deron miller #jess margera #brandon dicamillo #cky2k #cky3 #ryan dunn #bam margera #raab himself #rake yohn #request prompts

[milfgyuu]

I haven't sent one of these in a hot minute! The last gifset had me thinking: Sincr it's 🎃time, how about assigning the typical horror movie roles/tropes to Seventeen? Like, we already know Mingyu is The Hot Girl that Dies First™️ 🤣 (grouping them is also fine!)

HELL YEAH, it's spooky time!!!!! I am popping these under a read-more jusssst in case there are some sweet angels on my blog that may be sensitive to the themes or aren't into the horror genre <3

but if you're into SVT and horror film roles/tropes, read below!

Cheol - is surviving. idc. he's giving Chad Michael Murray in House of Wax like he definitely is kind of the asshole with a seedy past in the movie but it's also the reason he is making it out alive because he's fighting back. mf is running around with a tire iron and a gash down the side of his face and he's PISSED.

Jeonghan/Minghao - is taking things a little too...unseriously. like "why are you guys freaking out? ooooh he's gonna getcha!" probably even finds himself getting caught or injured and laughs when everyone gets mad at him because "it was just a joke, omg u guys". definitely turns out to be the killer in the end.

Joshua - god, sorry, but he's the handsome, sweet, innocent boyfriend of the female lead who gets absolutely gutted by the killer in the first half of the movie. Like he is the letterman jacket-wearing jock bf of Drew Barrymore's character in the original Scream. He was truly a bystander but boy is he pretty.

Junhui/Hoshi - He's just a side character but the whole audience loves him! and then he gets kidnapped and disappears halfway thru the movie so everyone assumes he's dead but just when the killer is about to whack the main character he shows up out of nowhere and knocks them out with a fire extinguisher to save them. he's a hero, baby. he still might get got tho :/

Woozi - can we get fluffy for a sec? i know it's horror tropes but this is Thackery Binx from Hocus Pocus, ok? he was kind of a little shit and then he got turned into a cat so now he's chasing around these three idiot kids trying to help them stop the witches from eating all the kids in Salem and he's perpetually irritated at his lack of opposable thumbs bc if he had them, he could just do it all himself.

Wonwoo - he's the dark-knight detective on the case. he's scary, kinda shady, and is likely doing a ton of illegal shit to find leads and force information out of people, but he's not a bad guy. He's been on the case for over a decade and lives off black coffee and cigarettes. definitely makes it to the end and has a hand in taking the killer down.

Mingyu - ok, yes, i still think he's the token slasher-bimbo - like he's the opening kill before the title sequence BUT alternatively, he's the martyr...he's the character you end up loving and then you have to watch as he sacrifices himself so everyone else lives & we love/hate him for it. We weep for him. We write alternate ending fics for him.

Seokmin - Sigh, he's the dad who buys the super-haunted house in a paranormal horror flick. He can't afford to move because he poured his life savings into buying the house. Shit keeps getting progressively worse. His dog chased something into the woods and never came back. His kids are possessed. His wife is floating in the corner and making weird noises. but he's hot - like ryan reynolds in Amityville.

Vernon - bro, he is actually Darry from Jeepers Creepers. I literally can't explain this to you if you haven't watched this CLASSIC and those of you who have seen it...you get it. Like why tf is he ignoring Ms. Dabney????? she's trying to save him and he's like...ok weirdo...i'm gonna go check out that hole where it looks like bodies are being dumped...bye.

Seungkwan - he's not going in that fuck-ass house dude. he's not doing it. he will stand guard with whatever makeshift weapon he can find and he's talking mad shit about everyone and their stupid plan the whole time he's waiting. he is, however, a good friend, and he will run into the house the first time he hears someone scream. is soooo pissed when he finds out it was over nothing and now he's stuck with everyone else in the death trap.

Chan - he is the planner, the optimist, the strategist. he is getting everyone the hell out and he's got the brains and balls to pull it all off. like, my boi is setting traps as if he's Freddie in Scooby Doo. He is pissing the killer off left and right. definitely gets himself in a pinch - almost meets his end - and still, somehow finds a way to live.

#svt imagines #svt scenarios #svt #seventeen #classic horror #svt drabbles #svt misc #tw: horror

[slashingdisneypasta]

... With some asks answered, are you alright if I ask what The Roo Gang would be as yanderes? Go ahead and ignore this if you want to of course! 😅

No no, I loved this! XD

Warnings for: Yandere behaviours, sexual assault and harassment, kidnapping, etc.

Kingston:

Kinda??... Chill??? Kinda.

Like, he wouldn't hurt you. He wouldn't touch you in an inappropriate way. And he likes it when you fight back; he thinks its cute and you're the coolest person ever. So he wont fully kidnap you or anything either- as that'd take the fun clean away!

But he w i l l n o t leave you alone. Every time you get home there's a reminder that he's thinking about you~ Like a bouquet of flowers, or chocolates and a note teasing you that these are your favourites, doll!- but did I drug them?, a new piece of furniture (for me to sit at when I come over to see you~ ), etc.

There will also be never ending attempts to blackmail and threaten you into being with him (Just one date! A movie! I'm not askin' you to marry me, just come out with me- just give me a chance.), but basically telling him to fuck off will get rid of him. He wouldn't actually send you to jail, or get you kicked out of your house, or fired or anything!!- you both know that!!-

So yeah, chill sorta?? You can brush him off. But you'll be brushing him off for ever.

... unless of course you start dating someone else, then he'll have to get serious. To protect this cute little thing, you two have with eachother~ ^^

Rena:

Rena is eager. XD What little sense of dignity and pride for herself she had before, is gone- now she'll do anything to have you. And almost anything for you (Anything- except let you go of couse).

She w i l l catch you (She'll drug your drink, she'll seduce a flunkey or two into kidnapping you for her and then kill them to prove they meant nothing for her and she's all yours *cough*, she'll chain you up in the basement she set up all-pretty for you~ ^^ ), she will keep you, and she will get rid of anyone looking for you.

She's kinda like Baby Firefly in Mommy mode actually XD She likes to feed you, dress you, bathe you- just in general be super sickly sweet to you.

She's also kinda like Greasy in yandere mode, though. And... you know. She wont be able to keep her hands off you.

Ryan:

Okay he's my favourite. YOU DRIVE HIM C R A Z Y. Like, man, he is the m o s t sexual yandere here. He's demisexual, and he is i n l o v e with you. He's the type to stand over your sleeping form and jack off.

He hates himself for it, but what can he do? You're the bitch for doing this to him. Could you not fucking look at him?? Jesus fucking christ.

So yes- he's also m e a n. He wont kidnap you or anything like the others; in fact he'll try to keep you at a distance, but you still cant manage to shake him. This rude guy is a fixture in your life, no matter what you do to remove him. Go to a different grocery store?? He's there growling that you followed him. Different bus stop? Turns out he lives nearby.

He calls you a stalker, a creep, obsessed. Spoiler: He's deflecting. He's all those things, he's the one consumed by you, and he's blaming the hell out of you for it. He'll spend every waking hour that you see each other being awful and grumpy towards you and then when you're asleep?? He's squeezing his cock and gritting his teeth, pumping himself slowly and fighting to stay silent so you don't wake up and see him in the dark, in your bedroom.

[faceless-mirror]

Chapter 4: Rhythm and Rhyme

In a world where vampires are actively trying to fit in with humans, coexist safely and help each other, Vinny and his ESV(Emotional Support Vampire), Ricky, are getting to know each other and learning more and more. Adapting to the life in the contract they both signed, and are living with. As they do they border the line between Friends.... and Lovers.

Tags: @cookiesupplier @phxntxsmicgoricxl @jilliemiw86 @undead-ahead-wh0re @abiomens

Ricky had been with Vinny and the band for the past few days. Day one- Vinny knocked it out of the park. Even Chris had been stunned by the effort the younger threw into it, and tonight was one of the nights Vinny finally came out to socialize with everyone glued to Ricky’s side. Ricky’s arm was thrown over Vinny’s shoulder lightly, talking to Ryan as Vinny played on his phone. Baby steps. Little things. 

He smiled a bit at him out of the corner of his eye he could see Vinny was playing a rhythm game on his phone. It was clearly one he had picked up to distract himself. “Vinny- it’s nice to have you with us,” Ryan said making the drummer look up with those sweet green and brown eyes that felt like a forest kaleidoscope.

“W…what me? Oh-”

“It's really nice to have someone new… you also seem cool. Ricky’s been bragging you up.” Ryan commented taking a hit off his vape that smelled of strawberries and cream. “Sorry, I haven’t said much before now.”

Vinny looked up at Ricky lips slightly parted. “I… thanks.” he said turning his attention back to Ryan, “I’m still getting used to everything so it’s no big deal,” he assured the other guitarist. “It’s kinda weird being around everyone and everyone’s so talkative,” he admitted meekly, a small flare of anxiety picking up that was quickly handled by Ricky. 

“Nah…I get it,” Ryan admitted warmly to him, smoothing his hair back as she shot a smile at him warmly. “Aren’t you like… twenty?” he asked making the transition to a full conversation at least a minor bit easier for the younger.

“Yeah- Yeah, I am. I know I’m young…” “Not saying it's bad… it's impressive because you’ve mastered drumming the entire show in what… three days? Dude. That’s crazy.” Ryan pointed out, “You’re a helluva good drummer, man. We got lucky.”

Vinny was silent his lips parted in shock unsure how to accept such a compliment. “Th….thanks,” he whispered stunned before there was a noise from the kitchenette where Chris was opening the fridge to get a water bottle. 

Vinny fell silent instantly, anxiety almost drowning Ricky in the moment. Chris and Vinny hadn’t been getting along the best, not for Vinny not trying. But rather Chris’s stubbornness of dislike purely because Ricky liked Vinny as did the rest of the band. Chris knew he should be happy about it… but he couldn’t. He didn’t like seeing Ricky with this person, this willowy drummer. Seeing Ricky watch over him with those soft blues. 

The drummer swallowed as the Guitarist pulled him closer, taking in all the anxiety and stress he could. He would keep him safe. Ricky was ignoring Chris despite feeling those eyes on him and Vinny. 

“So like- you had a band before Motionless right? You mentioned it a few days ago. What kind of music was it?” Ryan asked clearly interested making Chris set his jaw trying to ignore the flare-up of frustration.  

“Oh, it was… trap music mostly. I really loved it…” he admitted, “But i fell out of it pretty fast.” Vinny answered as Ricky rubbed his back feeling the grief boil up just a bit. He had read the report. He could understand, the grief that Vinny was trying to process was… so much. Too much.

“Why’d you stop?” Chris finally asked, walking over to sit beside Ryan, who merely shifted some to make room. 

Vinny smiled sadly, trying not to overthink. “I… we were… my friend died.”

The bus fell silent. Chris swallowed. He wasn't trying to be a dick this time. Fuck. The grief that filled the room… you didn’t have to be an ESV to sense it and Ricky moved to kneel in front of Vinny, cupping his face and smoothing his hair as he fed off the grief to lower it. The youngest looked into those glowing blues breathing slow and steady, grateful, and sniffled a moment, breathing again after a minute. “T…thanks.” “No problem… wanna go for a walk to clear your head at the rest stop?” he asked to which Vinny immediately agreed. 

Chris looked at Ryan, who just watched Vinny sadly, “If you ever need to talk, Vinny, we’re all here… we won’t judge.” he promised, to which Chris nodded. 

“I wanted to apologize honestly.” Chris sighed, knowing he needed to at least try to get along with the drummer. It wasn’t Vinny’s fault Chris was a moody bitch lately. It shouldn’t be his problem either. He was smart enough to admit that… even if he hated it. He ran his fingers through his black hair averting his gaze as Vinny turned his full attention on him.

It was silent for a moment before- 

“I accept your apology. You didn’t know about anything… so I can’t blame you for wanting to know… it would have been nice to have been given more of a heads up before being told that the drums were set up for me to audition with first time meeting you though… I would have liked to warm up.” he explained softly, though it turned into a quiet ramble.

Ricky smirked at him. Gods… Vinny was a sweetheart. He may have problems but he was sweet when he was given a chance and Ricky adored it. But he wouldn’t fall in love. He had to remember that. He was nothing more than a stepping stone in Vinny’s path to recovery. 

He couldn’t resist rubbing Vinny’s cheek before standing up and sitting back down as the bus fell to silence again. It wasn’t long before they pulled into a rest stop and Ricky guided him outside with a gentle smile. “Let’s stretch out a bit. How are you feeling…?”

Following closely, Vinny smiled at him, “Sad… but also a bit happier… I missed talking to people. Ryan’s really nice. I didn’t think he would be so friendly just looking at him.” he mentioned softly, “Chris surprised me too.”

“You’re not the only one.” Ricky mumbled softly as they started to walk.

#vinny mauro fanfic #vinny mauro fic #ricky olson fanfic #vinny x ricky fanfic #ricky olson fanfiction

[puprlebrotato]

Ozpin is an ageless motherfluxxer: An rant essay

I have no idea how to start this but let's go-

So beyond most of the huntsmen/tress (why were'nt they just called hunters RT what the hell-) students, we have no Brothersdamn clue how old most characters in RWBY are.

Most peopole wouldn't care about that because they're sensible

If you couldn't tell, I am not most people

So one day, I decided to finally try mark out how old some characters are, using, of all people, "(Formerly Dr)unkle" Qrow Branwen

If we start at his first year at Beacon, he would (probaly) be 17, since that's the standard age most initiates are (ignoring the possblity of him being older or younger since he pulled a Blake and joined despite being a criminal so he probably didn't give a damn about the age reqiurement).

Flashforward to graduation, when he and STRQ finish their fourth year. Qrow should roughly 20 or 21 now.

From here on it's kinda iffy but, assuming Tai adn Raven have Yang right then, Qrow should, in Vol. 1, be 38.

For a refresher, out current math is 17 (First Year) + 4 (Academy Years) + 17 (Yang's life).

Now, what does this have to do wiht Ozpin looking nohting like his goddamn age?

Enter Peter. Fricking. Port.

According to the man himself, Port was a TA (teacher's assistant) during Qrow's first year. Now the math for this is even MORE iffy than the "Tai and Raven bang upon leaving beacon" math, but hear me out.

IF we work backwards, Port has his career of Huntsmaning beforeing being hired by Beacon, entering as a TA. Low balling at 4 years of experince, Port is likely 25 when Qrow is 17 (which also means Port is 8 years older than tai which makes the whole joking in his home thingy odd but also funny but whatever) [also the math of this is 4 years of exp + 4 years of beacon + 17 years leading to entering beacon]. Adding Qrow's four years and Yang's age, Port is 47 as of Vol. 1.

That's... okay. Personally he looks older to me, but this is just a 'low ball' estimate.

Now, with all of this figured out

What in the ever loving FUCK do I do with Ozpin.

This is VERY speculative, so take this with a micro-fucking-scopic amount of salt, BUT

Oz is (probably [notice I've been saying that a lot?]) headmaster when Port is a TA and Qrow's a first year. Now, one would assume Ozpin is WAY older than Port. HOWEVER, Ozpin is also said to be the youngest headmaster in Beacon's history, so who fucking knows how old his wizard of oz ass is. For clarity's sake, let's say he's Port's age. That's probably wrong, but let's just say so because why not.

If you're paying attetnion, that would mean in Vol. 1 Ozpin is 47. Fourty-fucking-seven.

Do me a favor and look up a picture of ozpin for me. Ignoring his hair, look at his face. Look at him.

there is no way in hell ozpin is forty fucking seven

I know people who are entering the prime of their life, hell I'm fsamily with people are well past the prime of life. THAT MAN IS NOT ENTERING HIS FIFTIES.

If that's fifty then Maria must be over a damn 100 I just- I dont- AGH-

[Please wait: having ragful technical dificulties]

Now, this could just be a design thing. I mean, come on. It's RWBY. It's an american anime, no one ever looks their freakin' age in anime.

Or, Ozpin and his aura and immortal magic BS have done what no skincare company in the world can do and has achieved Ryan Reynolds levels of not aging.

that is all, I needed to get this out of my head. If you're reading this as of posting, words of the immortal Samuel Jackson, "Go the Fuck to Sleep"

#I made this at 2 am instead of sleeping #I apologize if this is incomprehensible #rwby #ozpin #qrow branwen #I need a drink ironically and unironically #this timeline makes no goddamn sense #also this means if Cloqwork is true Qrow has a big age difference kink #have fun having that idea in your head fuck you have a wonderful day/night bye #I need a nap

[lover-of-mine]

"I do think the show kinda wrote themselves into a corner with them and I can go on a whole separate rant about that" can you elaborate on that?

tldr: the stakes are too high now so it's easier to keep playing with the tension than resolving it.

Okay, so, I do joke they had a plan when they casted Ryan, but I actually do think they were just playing with the chemistry between Oliver and Ryan up until the moment they decided to retcon the well to make the will a thing. I do think both Ryan and Oliver like to play with their chemistry too, I don't act but I'm guessing it is fun to play with what you can do with another actor you have the type of chemistry they have, but when you look at season 2 and most of season 3 as a whole, ignoring a few moments we like to hang on to, they are two friends who really trust each other. Season 3 does up the stakes, but it was early enough they could swing it either way even more with the way they are not as close as they could be during most of season 4, a lot of things about the 2 of them are left implied, and it makes sense considering both of them had explicit love interests that season.

But the shooting and consequences are a real turning point for the way they are being portrayed, its less unintentional, less reliant on the chemistry between the two of them, it's more on purpose, the way the shooting scene was filmed and framed, the choice of words, the slow-mo of them standing there, the impression they give you that they have their eyes locked across the pavement, Buck saving Eddie alone, having Eddie ask Buck is he's hurt, Buck saying "I need you to hang on", the way Buck steps up with Chris without knowing about the will, the way we find out about the will, the choice to have that be something Eddie has been hiding for over a year, creates something on purpose with the two of them that actually allows them to play with putting buddie in season 2 and 3 in a different light, it implies a level of planning when you look at the whole show. Season 5 we have them talking more on screen, we have Eddie basically asking for permission to break up with Ana, the wording in that scene also feels really on purpose to make you look for hidden meanings if it ever came to it. And there are things like Mitchell clocking that hurting Eddie is more effective in controlling Buck that's also something you can come back to and repurpose later. There's the choice to have Buck being the person who actually gets through to Eddie with making him feel comfortable in his own life again, and having Buck being the person Eddie opens up about his trauma to begin with. And then we have literally everything about season 6. Season 6 actually allows me to change the perception of the whole show and write a 4k words rant about how Eddie has been in love with Buck since season 3, because they make a very conscious effort to paint Buck, Eddie, and Christopher as a family unity, the dinner on the premier, Buck baking cookies for Chris to take to school, the 3 of them hanging out on the loft while Chris does his homework. And everything about Buck's death and the episodes following, Eddie mirroring Buck during the shooting after the lightning, Eddie acting like a grieving partner, Chris being the person who makes Eddie go and see Buck, Buck knowing he can run to Eddie's when he's overwhelmed, whatever the fuck was mixed feelings.

But since now they can very easily add context to previous seasons to make them seem planned even if they weren't, there's a whole new level of expectations about them together. Because it makes it look like the people who have been shipping them since season 2 are right, so right now the showrunners have the chance to make what could objectively be one of the best slowburns in television history and add the fact that it's a queer relationship and they have the chance to do something that will make the show go down in romance history in a way. But realistically speaking, it's hard for them to make that relationship a reality. We have 7 main characters, we see 4 of them get together, so we are invested in them, we have Karen being introduced to us when Hen screws up, which makes us sympathize with Karen so we are invested in henren even if Karen mostly exists to be Hen's wife, and we have the other two being heavily shipped together since the beginning. But the thing with Bobby and Athena and Chim and Maddie is that they don't work together, so they don't have to acknowledge bathena and madney every episode, because if we are not seeing them together there's no real expectation for the episode to do something to remind us they are together. That won't work with buddie. Considering the way they are partnered in the field most of the time and they are on the same shift and how high the expectations around them are because of the way their friendship was constructed, they would have to find a way to make the relationship known every episode. And let's face it, most television shows really struggle with keeping slowburns together after the buildup, and the buildup with buddie is high, because they get used to working the tension and once the tension is resolved they drop the ball so we end up with unnecessary conflicts and breakups that make no sense just to add tension back in so the relationship will be interesting for them to write. And we joke that Eddie baby trapped Buck and that they act like an old married couple, but they literally already have a canon legal document tying them together, they very explicitly co-parent Chris, they are very clearly comfortable in each other's spaces, so that makes the usual tricks to keep slowburns interesting won't work, because honestly, I think that even a friends to married thing with them isn't that farfetched. Raise the tension enough in the lead-up to getting them together and they could have them flying to vegas to get married and most people just accepting it. But that's not good for their storytelling because 911 is not the buddie show and there is all this expectation that could end up with them deciding that writing them as an established couple is more complicated to deal with than just leaving them simmering forever.

Because the thing is, one good push and you get them together, they can trip them into a relationship at any time, really, just sit them down and let them talk about their feelings and accidentally confess to something, or turn up the flirty banter they have while they're alone and let them trip into each other, put any of them in danger and have the other snapping, like literally any of the hundred contexts we have of getting together fics about them would work at this point, but the issue is not getting them together is keeping them together in a satisfying way.

#i hope this makes sense oaksoaksaoksaok #i really need a tag for asks #anon 😌 #911 #does this count as #911 meta #? #aospalspalsplas #buddie thoughts

[boston-babies]

Chris knocked on the door and sighed when he saw Tanner answer “oh fuck me” Tanner smirked “oh goodie, back for more verbal berating?” Chris rolled his eyes “I’m here to see my kids Tanner” she crossed her arms “you saw them on Thursday” he nodded “well that’s kinda how being a parent works. You see your kids every day or in my situation as often as you can. It’s a holiday weekend and I want to spend time with them.”

She smirked “you don’t live here anymore” he growled “it’s still my home with my wife Tanner, move”. She rolled her eyes and stepped aside but made one last snide comment “there’s a surprise in the kitchen for you”

Chris ignored her and walked past her and headed straight for the kitchen. Sitting at the table was Zac and Henry talking and having coffee but at the island he saw you and Tom sitting across from each other talking and you laughing at something Tom had said and Chris saw red “what the fuck?!”

Ryan had been wandering into the kitchen, texting on his phone, with his spoon from his yogurt earlier hanging from his mouth and looked up immediately after hearing his father. He slowly turned and started walking back. “Nope, not getting caught up in that” he muttered to himself.

You looked away from Tom and right at Chris “I thought you said you were coming around noon for the kids?” He shrugged “yeah well I decided to head over early. Why the fuck is he in my house?” You rolled your eyes “he stopped by to say hi and I asked him if he wanted to stay for breakfast” Chris put his hands on his hips “I told you I don’t want him around my kids”. Tom stood “he has a name you know-“ Chris snapped “you need to sit down and mind your fucking business” Tom walked closer to Chris “and what are you gonna do about it?”

Tanner ran in and sat next to Henry with a shit eating grin “oh good, I didn’t miss any of the good stuff”. Henry didn’t take his eyes off of the situation in front of him but still softly spoke to Tanner “sweetheart I think it’s best if you and y/n go to the den with the kids” Tanner saw his genuine concern and nodded. She walked over to you and pulled you away to the den.

Tom smirked in Chris face “this is good. Honestly because you keep pulling shit like this and I’ll be able to swoop in and take her from you with no issue. I can’t wait to wife her up and rub it right in your face. Especially if I can convince her to pop out a few more kids with me”

Zac and Henry stood as Chris lunged for Tom and rushed over to stand between Chris and Tom to prevent anything happening. Zac held his hand up “he’s not worth it man, let it go!” Henry held Tom back but looked back at Chris “Zac’s right Chris, don’t let him rile you up like this. It’s what he wants”

Chris took a deep breath and looked right at Tom “get the fuck out of my house and stay away from my family” Tom nodded “I don’t think I’m going anywhere Chrissy boy. See I let her get away once and I’m not about to do that again” Chris shook his head “Jesus fucking- you were sixteen years old! Move on! Besides, aren’t you married with kids of your own you jackass?”

Tom crossed his arms “yeah we were sixteen but I was in love with her-“ Chris cut him off “oh yeah well cheating on her is a great way to show her you love her” Tom snapped “you would know wouldn’t you? And it was a mistake! I tried getting her back then suddenly she met you and I didn’t exist anymore! But I knew eventually you’d fuck up and then I could make my move. Now I get a front row seat to blow up your life further” he laughed “oh man, I can’t wait to get your kids to hate you too. Can you imagine? They hate you so much that they start calling me dad? Damn” he laughed and Chris lunged again with Henry and Zac holding him back “you son of a bitch!”

You walked from the den to the kitchen to check in on the situation and your eyes widened when you saw the scene in front of you. “What the hell is going on here?!” Tom suddenly looked surprised “I have no idea, we were talking and he just lunged at me”

Chris pushed past Zac and Henry and stood between you and Tom “you’re going to stay away from her-“ you grabbed Chris’ shoulder “what the hell Chris?!” He shook his head and looked back at you “no pretty bird, I know how bad this looks but you have to trust me on this. You need to stay away from him” you shook your head “Chris-“ he turned and faced you fully “look I know I fucked up but I have no reason to lie to you about this”

You looked back and forth between Chris and Tom and chewed your bottom lip. After a moment you looked down but spoke quietly to Chris “the kids are ready to go, just make sure they’re back in time for dinner”. Hurt flashed across face “y/n..come on..” you looked up at him with hurt prominent in your eyes too “please Chris..just go”

After a beat, Ryan walked in again but this time he was holding Teddy and Brayden, Brandon, Will and Lily were behind him “wow, you can cut the tension in this room with a knife”. You wiped your eyes and walked over to the boys and gave them each a kiss “have fun with daddy today okay and be good please. Ryan I’m talking to you” Ryan feigned offense “I’m always well behaved mama”

Chris nodded and walked over to take Teddy from Ryan “I figured we could go to the aquarium for Teddy today then after we can do what ever you guys want to do then we can go get lunch” Brayden’s face lit up “oh can we go to ReelHouse for lunch?” Brandon shook his head “what is it with you and ReelHouse?” Brayden looked offended “uh are you kidding? they have the best food ever”

Chris nodded and let out a small laugh “yes Brady, we can go there for lunch” Brayden lifted his arms in excitement “yes!” Brandon facepalmed at Brayden and Chris shook his head in amusement “head out to the car guys, I’ll be out in a sec.” The kids said their goodbyes one last time and went outside. Chris readjusted Teddy in his arms and looked at you “can we please finish talking about this later?” You walked over and gave Teddy one last kiss and smiled at his giggle and looked up at Chris “you need to go now. You don’t want to keep the monsters waiting”

The hurt flashed in his eyes once more but he just nodded “I’ll have them back for dinner” and with that he left.

[knoxvilleforever]

could you do something with the mtv cribs jackass episode? :)

not sure how to turn this into a hc so i’m just gonna ramble about it

first let’s discuss the look johnny was totally serving in this episode. that man showed up ready to tour steve o’s disaster of an apartment and he said i’m gonna give them something to look it. i want to curl into his side whilst he’s sat on that couch but also trying to not think about what stains could be below me.

oh steve o. the beer cans. the unbridled chaos. words cannot explain the many thoughts i have. but steve o looks cute whilst he’s showing off his shit show so they don’t really matter.

chris. i dread to think about what goes on in the backseat of that car but i know i want to be a part of it. it’s so fucking hilarious to me that they went on mtv cribs and he didn’t hesitate to show off the car he was living out of. i want to spend an unnatural amount of time with chris in that car.

bam always made me laugh because he seems like a proud little kid showing off the room he decorated by himself without his parents input for the first time lmao. honourable mention for the skateboards on his wall

ryan. mr i hate paperwork so i’m gonna ignore you til you call me dunn. his pool table covered with bills is truly iconic. the mattress on the floor. the fur coat. i want to kiss his cheek and curl up on the mattress of the floor with him because yeah it’s kinda gross but also cosy. i’d do it for you ryan.

#johnny knoxville #steve o #chris pontius #bam margera #ryan dunn #knoxvilleforeverwriting #jackass #mtv cribs Jackass #mtv #mtv cribs #jackass thoughts

[bazwillendinflames]

No Future Club (Dylan/Ryan)

Contains spoilers for The Quarry! (It's set after the events of the game, in an everybody lives ending, although most references to what happen are vague)

After surviving a night from hell at Hackett's Quarry, Dylan and Ryan find a moment of quiet to catch up. (1130 words)

Read on Ao3

Even once dawn had passed, it took several hours for the cops to round up the rest of the counselors, scattered across the camp. A few bodies, covered in white sheets, had been wheeled out of the depths of the woods, but none of their friends. Dylan was grateful for that, at least, in the aftermath of the worst life of their lives. 

“Hey.” 

Ryan’s voice, smooth as always, startled him. He took a seat at the edge of the ambulance besides Dylan. The relief washed over him - another one of his friends, safe and accounted for. 

“Hey. Good to see you.” 

Ryan held up his hands. “They didn’t cuff you.” 

“Kinda hard to, considering-“

Dylan waved his hand, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in the other arm, where his wrist now ended. The mix of Kaitlyn's painkillers, shock and adrenaline that had kept the pain managable had worn off, and the ache was getting harder to ignore. At least Ryan made for a good distraction. 

Ryan looked at it too, a little guilty. “Yeah. Shit. Has someone looked at that?” 

“Well I’m not hanging out in this ambulance for the fun of it.” Dylan cradled his injured arm against his chest. “Someone checked it already, and changed the bandages. It fucking hurts though.” 

“I bet. Sorry man.” 

“You did what you had to.” They'd seen the other option after all, and it hadn't been pretty. “What about you? Did you get out alright?” 

“As much as I could have,” Ryan confirmed. 

He was splattered with more blood than the last time Dylan had seen him, hours earlier, but otherwise looked uninjured. Despite everything, he had still held onto his trusty earbuds. 

“What about the others? No one will tell me what’s going on with them.” Ryan asked. 

He'd seen most of them pass by, with handcuffs of their own. The cops were trying to round them up and question everyone, but they were either understaffed or had underestimated just had bad things were. 

“They’re okay. Well. They made it out at least. Emma and Abi were in the bunker. Me and Kaitlyn hid out in the kitchen in the lodge. The cops heard at least two people yelling out in the woods, which must be Jacob and Nick. So that’s most of us.” It felt reassuring to list it all out.

Ryan looked relieved. “That’s good. I don’t think I could bear to lose anyone else.” 

“What about Laura? Did she make it okay?” He asked. 

Ryan sighed. “Yeah. We both did. She’s taking a boat out to the island to find her boyfriend. Wouldn’t let the cops tell her otherwise.” 

“Is that a hint of jealousy I detect?” Dylan teased. “You gotta be careful. It’s always the cool, mysterious ones that break your heart the hardest.” 

Ryan raised an eyebrow. “You wanna go there?” 

“You seemed pretty eager to follow her into danger, that’s all.”  The easy joking tone Dylan had spent all summer perfecting was coming in handy. Although one look at Ryan’s face was enough to make it clear he saw right through him. 

“I was trying to protect Chris.” Ryan looked down at his hands. Like the rest of him, they were splattered in blood. “But, uh, he didn’t make it.” 

Dylan didn’t push. Mr Hackett was one of the bodies that had passed by, along with his two kids. 

“Shit night,” he said. Even Dylan could tell when the time for jokes had passed. 

“Yeah. Shit night.” Ryan said, quieter. “And after it all, Laura just wanted to see her boyfriend. I can’t blame her. She did it all for him really. I didn’t want to be alone after all the shit we saw tonight.” 

He was definitely sneaking a look at Dylan during that. And maybe he’d only noticed because he was sneaking a look back. 

“Didn’t feel like shooting your shot though?” Dylan asked, trying to lighten the tone. 

“Not with her,” Ryan replied. 

“Oh.” 

“That’s it. An ‘oh’?” He asked. 

“I think I’m going into shock again.” Dylan made a show of gripping his chest with his good hand. When it was clear that Ryan was unimpressed, he let off. “Sorry. Continue.” 

“I know I can come off as kinda, stoic, or brooding or whatever. But I um, notice stuff.”

Dylan ducked his head. “This is going to get really embarrassing huh?” 

“No. I noticed that any band I mention that you would make fun of me for being weird and hipster would end up on your little radio show.” Ryan smiled a little. “It was cute.” 

“Okay, I was kidding around before but now I’m really going into shock.” 

Ryan rolled his eyes. “This is why I didn’t, like, do anything. You tend to kid around a lot.” He shrugged. “Besides, every summer since I started coming here, there’s at least one romance that ends like Jacob and Emma.” 

“Really living up to the guarded bad boy thing.”

“Really confirming my concerns about you not taking my feelings seriously,” Ryan said. The cool and collected vibe was gone and its place was frustration. “Dylan-“ 

“I know. Sorry. I’ve never had a boy like me back before,” he admitted. “And I do like you. Which you know. Obviously. From the music. And me and Kaitlyn creeped on a lot of your parasailing classes. And I really wanted to sit by you on the minibus and share your earbuds.” 

“Maybe things would be different if we did get to do that,” Ryan said. “I think I’d have liked that.” 

“Yeah. Me too. I’m glad you said something.” 

Ryan stood up, the motion causing the metal cuffs around his wrists to click together. “Shuffle up?” 

“Sure.” 

Dylan made room and Ryan repositioned himself on the other side of him. With the little motion he could manage when handcuffed, he managed to free and untangle his earbuds. 

“We’re sort of in a bus,” Ryan said. “And I’m pretty sure you never played Cult Damage.” 

With an earbud each, they sat together, vaguely punk music playing faintly. Not that Dylan could focus on the music. 

“Why did you want to swap sides?” He asked. 

“Oh. Makes it easier to reach.” 

Ryan held out his hand and slipped it in Dylan’s own hand. It was a little awkward - with the cuffs restricting his movement and the blood - but he held on tight. 

“I hope we get out of here,” Dylan said. “So I can call you.”

Ryan didn’t say anything back, his eyes closed, seemingly lost in the music. But he squeezed his hand. 

It was a moment of peace, after the horrors of monsters, before having to find answers for the cops, and all they could do was hold onto it whilst it lasted. 

#the quarry #the quarry supermassive games #the quarry spoilers #Ryan Erzahler #Dylan Lenivy

[wack-ashimself]

The Barbie movie is the most meta thing ever made (fuck you deadpool).

Spoilers.

First…15-20 minutes, I was not feeling it. Way too much atmosphere for a place we knew we’d be most of the movie. But I think it was to more trick you (which it does, a lot) that the movie is going ONE way, then goes another. There were many times foreshadowing was so in your face, you wonder why they even did it. But then you realize (again) it was a trick: think you’re so smart cuz you see something coming cuz it was a red herring! They didn’t give a FUCK you knew about it; here’s some other weird fucking twist.

It was funny. I just watched strays (also with farrel) and that movie had like….5 solid laughs. Rest were just dick jokes. Barbie was significantly funnier. I almost am irritated because I had to rewind it a few times cuz sometimes it was good 1 liner after another, no pause, so you don’t even have enough time to finish laughing at the first one to let the humor of the next one sink in. I LOVE THAT> It makes a movie rewatchable. Top 3 funniest? 3-almost anything will farrel said. I feel like his was partially improvised, and it worked. It so fucking worked. Like, they’re chasing Barbie out of the lobby, get stuck by a short jump-able gate, screams for a keycard, THROWS it at the gate like a madman, freaks out that they can’t get thru (again, JUMP-ABLE), it suddenly opens, and he runs like a bat out of hell. He gave it to this performance! THE BARBIE MOVIE, and Will Farrel brang his A-game. 2-Ryan Gosling. His overall performance too. Cuz I NEVER find him funny in anything (even his SNL skits), but he was so SO fucking over the top that, even when it didn’t work, IT WORKED, ya know? Like it was so tongue in cheek cheesy, you almost were choking on the gouda. Do you know how hard as an actor it is to overact, intentionally, but to make sure it doesn’t look like it’s overacting? Not even going to name a specific moment; I’m just glad he made me finally laugh (the Nice Guys was overrated). 1-MARGOT FUCKING ROBBIE. Cuz she was hilarious as the straight/dry humor. Deadpan, kinda. And she had SO many fucking great lines when she came to the real world (dark comedy-when she first arrives and realizes she’s objectified like it NEVER happened before). Fav moment? Easy. Near the end, given up, Weird Barbie finds her. She straight up says something the lines alone ‘Now I’m ugly and weird like you’ but NOT in an insulting way, more ‘that’s life now.’ And Weird Barbie’s reaction? OMG. I was trying to be vague so you can watch it, read (or reread) this and go ‘OH YEAH!.’ Like I made some fair observations but didn’t give enough details as to ruin the joke. I needed a good laugh, and this movie delivered.

Now, why is it meta? Best way I could say it, HONESTLY? It’s like the movie took a mirror to the worst in (typically USA) men, shoves it down their throats (in a comedic way. As the saying goes ‘If you’re going to tell somebody the truth, you better make them laugh, or they’ll kill ya’) and does the same to women, but more their weaknesses than worst aspects. I see why men hated on this: it is 100% pro women, men fucked everything up, etc. I ain’t wrong cuz in the end, I thought they would give the Ken’s fair representation in the Barbie government, but NOPE. SO…how does that make them better than men? Do I believe the real world would be better with all women in charge? For the most part, yes. I genuinely do. But I don’t think they’ll solve everything. And I don’t know if making sure a particular type of people having no say in the world around them is a good thing. But fairly, I’m also the one that says rob billionaires and drop them on an island to rot so….I ain’t saying I have the answers. But the Barbies (MAJOR SPOILER) taking back their city from the Kens, cuz the Kens were…ignored and not heard, but then not giving them any way to be heard in the government (or even housing….) is a MIXED ENDING at best. NOT HAPPY. ‘The Kens brainwashed the Barbies.’ HOW? And how do you know it wasn’t just the one? Cuz the other Kens, in the end, chanted after Ken like…copies. It felt like the Barbies were all original, but the Kens weren’t. Maybe they were brainwashed too. It felt hypocritical to open with Kens not having houses, Barbies all in dream houses, travel to the real world, experience real things, Ken became pro male freak, takes over Barbieland, somehow brainwashes the Barbies (I don’t even think HE knows how he did it), over claims what is his (doing 100% what Barbies did to Kens. Just returning the favor), Barbies outsmart them (turned them to war. I liked that. Smart), take back full control, and they change NOT A SINGLE THING FROM THE START except the Kens can have one LOW LEVEL representative. Were Kens the good guys? NO. Were the Barbies? FUCK NO. So cheering on it going back to the same is….sad. Kens-still no where to live, no voice in government, nothing has improved. I just feel like that ending was saying ‘Hey. A world where women treat men exactly like men treat women would be better, but they would oppress in a similar fashion, but it would be better!’ is a weird fucking message to end on. I just wanted the men to get housing, and SOME in government (not many. I’ll admit-they went nuts, but when you have NO power and are given ALL power-you go crazy.)

That’s what I loved/hated about this movie. They went into the lore, but then at the same time went ‘fuck lore. Our house, our rules’ so they could do anything, but explain NOTHING. Like my fav DUMB/GENIUS moment in the movie was when Farrel, lead of Mattel, is trying to explain why Barbie coming to the real world is not a good thing and all (ALL) he says is ‘It’s just bad! It’s a bad thing!’ Loud, over and over, arms flailing. So they CLEARLY wanted to gloss over that. Which is cool but…that’s like an ace up the sleeve: you can only play that card SO many times before we know you’re cheating.

The END ending was….ultra meta. Go watch andy weir’s the egg on youtube. No joke (NO JOKE) that philosophy/spiritual concept matches….like…..60% with the ending (more visually if you watch the right one). It’s a MIND fuck. Summary: her creator says she’s an immortal idea, wanting her to live every life, but she wants to go down and live her single life. For her. Her way. Girl power. Lol It’s…awesome. Then they end with a FANTASTIC punchline out of nowhere that I REFUSE to ruin. IT’S A PERFECT ENDING JOKE. PERFECT, I TELL YOU!

So I gotta say: not what I expected, but only in the best of ways. I knew it would be funny, but not THAT funny in THAT many ways. Ultra political/social on many issues, and I was cheering on every one. Toxic masculinity sucks, self doubt (and a society that pushes it) sucks, men can cry, crying feels good for everyone if done right. Like, SIMPLE things MANY ADULTS do not admit to. That’s why I like this movie: appear like it’s for kids, market it for adults, simple for kids, cuz SOME ADULTS DIDN’T LEARN AS FUCKING KIDS. This is what I call a smart dumb movie. It dumbs down smart stuff for dumb people, but, keeps enough smart stuff in for smart people so they don’t feel like it’s one big fucking lecture. Cuz it is in a way. We all need to change, and this movie pushes that narrative. Fuck one of my fav quotes that I already posted was how all life is is change…

Barbie: 8.9/10.

(Not a 10/10 because the singing and dancing was not my thing, and outside the very opening & dance/fight number, it felt unnecessary. Also the plot holes/ending. Seriously, I would’ve given it a near perfect despite everything else, but the fucking ending of Barbieland. She SAYS she’s not a fascist <tho she admits they control the currency….>, but an oligarchy by any other name is an oligarchy. Seriously. And then they shrug off the years of shunning Weird Barbie. Just….this movie felt like ‘girl power! Don’t hate anybody. BUT you can treat people less than you if they’re not a Barbie.’ WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE IS THAT!? If I was a kid trying to find a moral lesson in this, it would be an aneurysm can be caused by a movie.)

Fav part? The entire lecture(s) (WAY WAY too much to quote. I was going to, but it encompassed good part of like 5-10 minutes. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG THAT TAKES TO TYPE?) the mom gave to the brainwashed Barbies. I have never wanted to be a woman: biologically to socially speaking, you guys are treated, worldwide, second to men. I actually believe the average bigot is more hateful to a woman than to someone of a different race. I understand why (see above. Men are conditioned by other stupid fucking men.) But….I swear to you on my soul….her original lecture (then with her added mini lectures added in) gave me the weirdest…pride. Like, I always knew you guys have it bad. As I said: I HAVE NEVER wanted to be a woman (and I am even talking if only biologically speaking. God dam, you got the short end of the stick. Periods, cramps, menopause, pregnancy. More prone to a lot of cancers. Dying at birth!? HOLY FUCK!!! Side note-USA has THE HIGHEST pregnancy deaths for a first world nation.) But….this movie made me realize the…benefits to being a woman. I NEVER SAW ANY. You guys love more than men, by far. Help more than men, by far. But are treated so fucking poorly and…I don’t know why you don’t rise up and kill a few billionaires. YOU ARE MORE THAN CAPABLE. Lol Just…I dunno. I always knew what GOOD women brought to the world. I just could never appreciate having pride being a woman when it’s so-fucking-difficult in this world we live in. But I get it now, I think. Maybe because of how unbalanced this plane of existence is to women, when they get thru (not if), there’s a strength few men can attain. Let alone respect. If men can’t do it, they think it shouldn’t be done. I want to say thank you women. I have always tried to appreciate you (except the stupid times I wasn’t), but I guess I never saw/appreciated your female pride. I never liked the word pride. To me, it has be earned. And no one chooses to be a woman. But maybe cuz you were forced into birth lotto, and had the odds against ya, you still came out on top, ya know? I dunno. I just….few things actually INSPIRE me anymore, and that did. It was saying something I deep down knew, but needed it said in a monologue so I could see the whole picture. Cuz I knew everything she said, but I guess when it is ALL laid out, you feel the weight of the whole blanket of the concept instead of a corner. Kudos. I am glad this movie exists. I think it will help a lot of people. Sadly, one of them being the pro-Israel Mattel male CEO a lot…

and I’m not gonna go off on the Israel thing. Just…it’s like being pro-USA: it just means innocent people are going to get hurt for greedy people. Weird note to end on but fuck you; my blog. I’m a Barbie bitch! Lmfao That will piss of some CIS straight white guys being I’m one of them…for now. WHO KNOWS> Maybe the movie made me GAYYYYYYyyyyy. Lmfao No. The whole time I was more focusing trying to remember where I knew everyone from: FUCK TON of famous people in this movie.  HAHA. Should make a Barbie bingo to play during this movie. Not a bad idea…

#barbie #movie #movies #movie review #movie reviews #margot robbie #ryan gosling #will farrel #mattel #michael cera #israel #deadpool #spoiler #spoilers #meta

[juicypassionfruit]

Need To Change

Summary: Bam is stuck in his toxic ways. 

Gn reader

Warnings: Swearing, Toxic Bam, Implied smut

Bam woke up sweating, his long hair sticking to his forehead. The blanket that covered him was quickly kicked off. It was normally freezing cold in his room, the change in temperature woke him up from a deep sleep. He got up and walked over to the window. As soon as he opened it the morning air cooled his body instantly.

Memories from last night flashed in his mind. Her eyes gave him that look he couldn't resist, the curve in her lips when he whispered sweet nothings into her ear. The sounds she made when he brought her back home. The argument that took place after he told her she should go. Last time he let her stay and he couldn't possibly let her stay over another night. Bam didn't know why he treated Jenn this way. It wasn't always intentional, sometimes it was just easier. The image of tears coming down her face didn't leave his mind. Couldn't leave his mind.

It was normal for them to go through a bad phase. Where one moment he is completely obsessed and the next he wants nothing to do with her. He can admit that it wasn't healthy but he does love her or at least has some love for her.

In a few days they'll be talking again and go back to the way it was, Bam knew that for certain. He knew she'd never be able to stay away for long and maybe, for some twisted reason, that's why he acted the way he did. Why he'd take her to places she liked, just to remind her they weren't dating and probably never would.

Bam was wide awake with no chance of going back to sleep. The sun was beginning to rise and the birds were chirping louder and louder, making him even more annoyed than he already was. It seemed like today was gonna be one of those days. 'Fuck' he mumbled to himself and went into the bathroom to get ready.

He'd be lying if he said it wasn't peaceful, the quiet house in the early morning, but it was too quiet for his liking. If Bam had to be up so did everyone else. Downstairs he grabbed a pot and a pan and ran back upstairs to April and Phil's room. He was fighting the urge to laugh while opening the door. As they quietly slept, the only sound in the room was the pots and pans banging together. "You guys are wasting the day away, c'mon it's already six-thirty!" April sat up quick with a gasp, "Bam!" Phil woke up confused as ever but went back to sleep when he realized it was just Bam being Bam. It made him feel slightly better. He hunched over and laughed, leaving not too long after that.

Skating seemed to be the solution to all his problems. Mad? Skate. Sad? Skate. Constantly arguing with the person you kinda love but treat horribly? Skate. It was the easiest way for him to get rid of his frustrations, and anyway, he always needed more clips. For the rest of the morning, he skated. He filmed himself since no one was awake at this time and his friends probably wouldn't be till the late afternoon.

Bam sat on the edge of the drop reviewing his videos. As it got later in the morning, more and more kids showed up to skate. The once empty park was now filled with mostly kids and some adult skaters. He decided that filming a few more clips should be good then he'd leave. When he stood up he saw three of his friends walking toward him. The watch on his wrist said it was ten-thirty. "A little early for you, fucks isn't it?"

Ryan, Raab, and Dico stood at the bottom of the drop and looked up at him, "Bam this is the earliest you've been up since elementary school." Ryan pointed out making the other two laugh. It was an exaggeration but true for the most part, he hasn't been up early for no reason in years. His not-so-subtle change in behavior was more noticeable than he'd like. In all honesty, none of them wanted to be there, but a very concerned April called all of them to check on Bam.

"Can you move out of the fuckin' way so I can skate?" He ignored the mocking waiting for them to step aside. This was his usual attitude when skating especially when he was determined to get some footage. They moved out of his way and watched him dropdown. Bam was doing good until he tried to grind the rail, losing his balance and falling face first to the ground. His board rolled backward towards his friends while he lay on the ground groaning in annoyance and pain. Dico kicked the board back to him, hitting his foot. Bam jumped back onto his board to redo the trick. After falling again he stayed on the ground. The guys walked over to him and stared at him as he lay on the ground with his eyes closed.

"Dude, what the fuck is your deal?" Ryan asked lighting the cigarette that sat in his mouth. Bam opened his eyes and sat up hugging his knees. "Nothing" Clearly it wasn't just 'nothing' but Ryan didn't push any further. "Okay. Let's go fuck with Don Vito's car" Smoke blew from Ry's mouth and into Raab's face who waved it away. Dico stood there plotting what to do with the car and how they'd destroy it this time. Ryan extended his arm to help Bam up. He took it and they walked out of the park.

Back home Bam felt a little better. Being around his friends distracted him from his thoughts. The plan to ruin Don Vito's car was a success, to say the least. His car was in millions of pieces, completely obliterated. It felt wrong but Bam was actually happier after destroying the car. Not only was it fun, but the reaction of his uncle was priceless. He was red in the face yelling at him about yet another car he had broken, which made it even better. Phil and April scolded him of course and made sure he'd get him a new car.

The next few days consisted of Bam losing sleep from thinking too much. Leading to a crabby exhausted Bam, which no one liked. Jenn still hasn't called or texted and the thought of her being done with his bullshit made him sick to his stomach. His friends were over how he was acting, never feeling sorry for him once. Ryan made sure to put his two cents in and let him know that it's the least he deserves for treating her so badly. It definitely made Bam stop feeling sorry for himself, but it still hurt she never called to end it.

The guys came over constantly, checking in on how he was doing and getting annoyed when his behavior wasn't improved. They did all they could do by getting him out of the house and giving him pep talks. In the middle of the guys setting Bam right, she called. They've only seen him move that quick when someone had a snake near them. He sat there and let it ring for a few seconds before answering, "Hey, what's up" The casual tone in his voice was the complete opposite of how he was feeling. 'Was she calling to end it officially?' "Hey, I've missed you" She spoke. Relief filled his body and a smile appeared on his face, "Yeah? I've missed you too"

Ryan rolled his eyes and groaned, Raab and Dico chuckled at his reaction. "How could they still be a thing?" Ry whispered loudly to them while Bam laughed and made plans with Jenn. "Maybe they're perfect for each other" Dico shrugged and Raab shook his head, "Definitely not. he deserves someone slightly better, she did cheat on him."

"Yeah, do you remember what he did to make her cheat?" Ryan shook his head in dismay. Raab instantly remembered and laughed, "Ohh yeah. Jesus get those two away from each other."

Immediately Bam's attitude was different. Knowing he didn't lose her for good felt great. As he hung up he laughed to himself and thought about him going crazy not talking to her for a few days. "I like her. Really like her. I mean I was going insane!"

"Noo Bam!" His friends booed him, strongly disagreeing. He waved them off and started getting ready for his not date.

Jenn made plans to go to the bar and then some underground concert later. Bam of course was for it, most of his nights out were like that.

She got there early and told him to meet her at the bar. Still not wanting to seem desperate he arrived a little late. About five minutes late. Ryan laughed when he told him he intentionally wanted to be five minutes late and not a minute later.

When he walked into the bar he looked around for Jenn. Bam spotted her playing pool and started to walk over to them. As he got closer, some random walked up to her and kissed her. Jenn made direct eye contact while kissing the greaseball she was with. The anger and hurt he felt was too much. He began to stomp over there, but a strong hand grabbed his shoulder stopping him. "It's not worth it, man" Ryan wasn't wrong but he wanted to feel the self-satisfaction of ending it and making her seem like the bad guy.

"C'mon Bam. It's better this way." With a slight nod and sigh they walked out. Ryan laughed to himself and patted his back, "Dude, there's plenty of people in this city."

"Yeah, whatever"

~

It's been weeks since he left Jenn. Constantly fighting the urge to not call or text her. Bam's been bummed out but fine for the most part. He actually tried to move on and hung out with a few people, but they didn't make him feel the way she did. It seemed like no one had what he was looking for, although he didn't really know what he was looking for. Bam's mentality was if he found the right person he'd know immediately.

After a while, he realized that he had better things to do than be sad over Jenn. Bam had his own show in the works and he was already in Jackass the show and the first movie. It almost felt wrong to feel sad when he had so much to appreciate.

The relief everyone felt when Bam finally acted like his usual chaotic self and not the forced chaos he created. April knew it was all because Bam snapped out of whatever was going on but when Ryan took credit for 'getting' Bam back, she couldn't help but laugh with everyone.

To celebrate Ryan decided it'd be a good idea to take Bam out. Their favorite bar had missed him especially when it's been a full month since he's been their last. They guys couldn't be paid to stay away for that long.

The four guys walked into the bar laughing. Raab and Dico ran to their favorite table like little kids. Ryan shook his head and walked over to the table with Bam. A round of their favorite beers was set on the table after a few minutes.

On his way back from the bathroom, Ryan was stopped by a girl and her friend. The smile on his face grew while they talked. From their seats, Bam had the perfect view of them. Dico and Raab would have to turn around all the way to see Ryan flirt, which Bam made sure they didn't do so it wasn't obvious he was staring at them.

Ryan walked back to the table acting as if nothing happened. "What'd they want?" Raab asked and he just shrugged, "Well one of them thought I was good looking and the other was interested in Bam, but I said he wasn't looking for anything."

Bam threw his hands up, "Dude!" It was a surprise that his best friend didn't act like his wingman. Normally when they went out and two best friends approached them or even just one of them, they knew what it meant. "I didn't know if you could handle any kind of relationship with someone, even if it's just one night." Knowing he was probably right, he didn't argue it.

The night continued on like normal as they drank more and more. Before any of them knew it they were completely drunk, all except Ryan who was the designated driver.

The next morning Bam felt sick. His head and body aching from too much alcohol the night before. He walked downstairs and grabbed a glass of water taking two tablets of ibuprofen. As he recovered he started to get ready to go skating.

It was a slow day at the park, not too many people were there despite it being early in the afternoon. Bam skated around, doing little tricks as a warm up before getting into the harder ones. He enjoyed recording his progress and the cool tricks he could do but today wasn’t one of those days.

He dropped down from the drop and did a small trick as he went up the fun box. As he was coming down he bumped into someone. They both fell off their boards and onto the ground. “Fuck” Bam groaned.

He sat up and looked at the other person laying beside him, “Sorry. I didn’t see you” Bam got up and extended his arm. They took it and said it was okay.

Bam was attracted to them instantly. “Im Bam Margera.” He smiled

“Im Y/n” They returned the smile. The two made small talk and watched each other skate around. Both enjoying each others company, since they were the only two good skaters in the park.

It was early evening now. The sun was getting ready to set and it was getting colder by the minute. Y/n decided it was time to go home. “Well, Margera. Its been fun but I better get home. See you around.”

“Yeah. See ya.” Y/n started walking away and out of the park. Bam didnt wanna miss his opportunity to not see them again so he skated after them. “Wait”

“Can I get your number? It’d be cool to hang out again.” They smiled and gave him their number. Bam smiled and they went their separate ways.

It was now night and Bam found himself with no plans. There was nothing to do it seemed like. Ryan and the others decided to stay in and relax. Bam felt restless and in need of something to do.

The idea to text Y/n crossed his mind. ‘Were they even awake?’ With nothing to lose he sent them a text. While he waited he started editing some clips. His phone buzzed and he checked it immediately. Y/n was awake and bored just like him. He had no specific plan in mind, but he told them to get ready and meet at the park.

He put on a hoodie and his shoes and left the house.

The park was closed at these hours but it was an easy meeting place and they didn’t necessarily have to skate there, or skate at all for that matter. Just being out and doing something was enough for Bam. Y/n arrived a few minutes after he did. They sat on their boards and talked for a while.

“Hey, I know a spot we can hang out at. We can go if you want?” Y/n suggested and Bam smiled loving the idea. They both got up and he followed them on his board, excited to see where this spot was.

The streets were empty and quiet, minus the sound of their boards rolling in the middle of the street. It was dimly lit, the streetlights only lighting up so much. Cold wind hitting their faces as they skated.

After skating all over the city and walking miles through too many bushes, they made it to the place Y/n was talking about it. It was hidden away pretty well. They sat on top of a grassy hill with the perfect view of the small town. Bam could see the lights turning red and green, and the orange streetlights. It was so pretty. “Wow” He said to himself, but it was loud enough for them to hear.

“Its my favorite spot to go. You better not tell anyone about this or ill have to kick your ass” They said laughing. Bam laughed and promised he wouldn’t, making sure to add they probably wouldn’t be able to kick his ass. They continued talking and enjoying the view.

Bam glanced at Y/n and smiled. When they noticed they blushed, “What?” He shook his head but didn’t look away. They were already pretty close to each other but it still felt so far. When he finally looked away, Y/n looked at him. He looked so pretty. He was pretty, all the time. “Bam?” Their voice was soft, almost embarrassed to say anything else.

He looked back at them and smirked. Knowing exactly what they were about to say or ask. Without hesitating, he placed his hand on their cheek and leaned in close. His lips ghosted over theirs. “Is this okay?” He whispered and Y/n nodded. Wanting nothing more than to feel his lips.

Bam gently placed his lips onto theirs. Y/n’s hands wrapped around his neck pulling him closer. He pressed his lips onto theirs a little harder, making sure they’d feel how bad he’s been wanting to kiss them. The kiss got more intense by the minute. Desperately needing more of each other.

He pulled away to catch his breath. Y/n looked up at him through their eyelashes, “Do you wanna finish what we started?” Bam let out a breathless laugh and nodded leaning in to kiss them again.

~

They both laid beside each other staring at the stars. “Now what?” Y/n looked over at him. Bam looked back at them and smiled, “Can I take you out on a date?”

“That’d be nice” They smiled

The two decided it was time to go home and Bam said he’d let Y/n know when their date was.

The next morning Bam made sure to tell Ryan all about Y/n and their day plus night together. As long as Bam wouldn’t treat them badly, he was all for this new person that he had yet to meet. Bam swore on everything that he wouldn’t go back to being as toxic as he was when he was with Jenn, and that was enough for Ryan.

#bam margera #jackass #jackass fanfic #ryan dunn #johnny knoxville #steve o #chris pontius #bam margera x reader #raab himself #dico

[slashingdisneypasta]

Alright after your amazing Terry ask, I gotta know. How would your Roo's react to the Toon Patrol coming onto THEM?? I have to know for research XD

FOR SURE XD

Kingston: ah yes, our beloved token straight XD

Greasy: *trying to keep a neutral face and not laugh. He wants to see how far Greasy will take this, this is hilarious*

Psycho: pal, uh... sorry but... you're not my type... *trying to be delicate and not get his skin mauled*

Stupid: ... you're gonna haveta show me what you got down there, and I'll consider it. (Someone slap him 😅 He does like pegging, so he truly is considering it (he can ignore the fact it's a guy), but h o n e s t l y Kingston?? Be respectful!! 😅😂🤦‍♀️)

Smartass: *deep breath. Puts a hand on Smartass' shoulder* ... if only you were a girl. -No no no wait! Come back!! You'd really be perfect, I'm not fucking with you on this!!--

*earnest, calling at Smartass' retreating back* I wish you did. But you do nothing for me!!

Wheezy: ... alright, what'd you have in mind? (I think wheezy just turned kingston- )

Rena: the short answer is yes-

Greasy: ... you're that little club girl's toy, aren't you? ... drop your pants. Mhm, yeah right here, I'm not joking~

Psycho: *looking him over* ... alright, you got me hooked. I'm intrigued. Yes, lets do its. Where do ya wanna do it? Whadaya into, little freak?

Smartass: Ohhhhhh no. No. Your little guys are all on the fucking olympic swim team, and I'm not going through that again.

Stupid: 😏 Let's go, baby boy.

Wheezy: ... love to, daddy, but I feel like this is a trap. (SHE REALLY DOES. SHE CANT SHAKE IT XD Like, he's so hot?? But he's one of t h e m, and a sneaky unassuming one at that. So... it pains her, but its not gonna happen 😂)

Ryan:

Greasy: Nope, get out of my face Creepy. ("It's GREASY") No, it's not.

Psycho: (Psycho can follow him around as much as he likes, Ryan doesn't mind XD But they ain't fucking. He'll just be going about his business when Kingston asks, kinda fucking concerned, why the scary spiky one is following him, and Ryan just? Like? Shrugs??? 😅😅😅😆 He doesnt care XD And now Kingston is on edge XDD And ontop of that Rena keeps FEEDING THE CREATURE- )

Smartass: ... Thanks for the offer, but nah.

Stupid: (Similar to Poppy, Ryan will totally fuck Stupid! He'll show Stu what he should be looking for. Ryan is like training wheels *cough* and no he doesn't mind. He already had the love of his life, he ain't looking for anyone else special. Maya was all the special he needed)

Wheezy: Sure. (Doesn't even think twice. Wheezy's hot and they're friends.)

And *cough* well y o u k n o w which of the toon patrol lottie would be with. Although, since Shiny became a true oc of yours and Greasy's mate I've been exploring a Wheezy train of thought (like, instead of greasy getting jealous when lottie comes home from the navy, its wheezy but he doesnt do anything about it. Its wierd between them for a lot longer)... but I also love them just being a close family duo. And I still like Grottie ^^

#thank you for this ask!! it was fun!! XD #poor smarty- he got nothin XD

[somewhereinthepines]

dunno if you were asked this before but what you most favorite dynamic out of all your supermassive ships?

i don’t think, that i answered it on such a scale before tbh. i’ve been asked about my supermassive otps separately tho, so like mmmm….

idk. i can’t say, that i have a specific favorite among all of them. each pair has elements that fascinate me, and while they all have smth that tangles them together, they’re also fundamentally different. i look at chris x ryan, and john x andrew, which at first glance is what i’m calling a caretaker + their silent, younger companion sort of gimmick, but they’re also go deeper than this, and there is very big difference even in how chris & john handle situations or how andrew & ryan react to things. how andrew will always be more pushy, and how ryan essentially can enter yandere mode, where andrew seem to be just kind of prone to violence of less motivated, less personal kind…..or even a big separation in how chris always tries to cling to imagery of a good person, and john is just kind of embraces the fact, that he’s not a decent man. still, chris somehow fucks up more royally bc of it all vs john, who’s just kinda goes with the flow lol. and then, the roles of who defends who in both ships are reversed. in the quarry, ryan canonically goes out of his way to pretend like everything around him doesn’t scream ‘my mentor isn't who i think he is'. it's so plain. so into your face, yet rayn being unresponsive, being abrasive. and then, he also gets hella passive-aggressive, once someone suggests that he's in denial (he is lol). in LH, it’s john, who canonically closes eyes on andrew’s mishaps and stunted disturbance, downright to forgiving him accidently killing angela (in some routes). i talked in more detail about john & chris’s differences and similarities here. but while they do share the same roots of dynamic, i feel like it evolves into its own category along the way. so honestly, even between those two, it’s kinda impossible for me to pick which is the most preferable or interesting. bc they both are! i'm a sucked for complicated pinning & favoritism, that makes person pick side based on their own selfish pref rather than logic. i love how creepily easy it is for ryan & john to endanger others, if it means that they can keep chris & adnrew 'safe and sound'. i love how this is their first, organic reaction. the quarry kinda messed it up toward the end, but y'know lol. it's the narrative point / the main intent, that counts with me. and where LH wasn't very shy about andrew & john being a 'thing' in whatever way, you might see it....like them being stuck together as oddly 'similiar' unlucky folks or as john being there to mislead you, well, they still were very *cross fingers* like that. in the quarry, you have to actually look a bit more closely to see how much of plot is revolved around ryan & chris's relationships. around ryan trying to save someone, who is in fact, was partly to blame for everything. but honestly, this is what i like about the quarry vs until dawn. at least, chris had someone, who did try to see the best in him. vs until dawn, where by unpopular opinion, i always stuck feeling like josh deserved better friends. i can't watch the prologue and not think, that aside from sam, the rest of josh's friends actually suck tbh. including chris, bc dang, he just abandoned him like that. for a girl..........so while josh did messed up thing, i struggle to feel any sort of sympathy for anyone, but sam in that game. naturally, some characters grew on me and chris was even my fav back at the time, but i don't and cannot respect a half-assed commitmet he showed josh. like man, be more like ryan, dude. point a gun at weird looking gal, that suggest that she's about to kill your camp leader. be like john, and literally ignore safety of everyone, but yourself and that one, young dazed student that you like lol. chris from until dawn is too weak for it. even non-existent dr hill was more devoted to josh vs his best bud. i mean, it kinda sucks, when your mental illness is the only thing, that agrees to keep you company, bc your bff wanna gets laid and just forgets about u. it's realistic tbh, don't get me wrong. but it still stings lol.

*clears throat* sorry, tangled lol.

anyways then, we have the other 2 ships, which are kind of opposites of one another. i mean, dulie & dalim do have similar narrative bits, esp since both pairs have power imbalance as its main trait. but where du’met x charlie will always be a predator/prey, with prey barely being able to do anything against its pursuer, in dalim it's never fully established, who 'controls' the situation in the end. bc realistically, salim would kick dar’s ass, if he saw so fit lol. and the funny part of their relationship is that dar is completely unaware lol. he seems to consider salim to be weaker, more naive and less likely to fight against his commands, since he's kind of a kiss-ass lol. it never occurs to dar, that salim can rebel against him. and if/when salim does, dar basically instantly gets angry/absolutely enraged with him, bc how dare he lol. in dulie, du’met kind of expects charlie to struggle and whine, and cower, and try his hardest, so he’s not holding it against him. he even humors him kinda. still, it's where the big diffence is. charlie is du'met 'prey', whatever intentions he has for him are always 'justified' inside his own mind. dar would only hurt salim, if he goes out of line. he won't randomly harm salim, or consider doing it, even if he might have such impulse. like, i do believe, that he does have them. still, where charlie being du'met 'favorite' means, that du'met would exact more pain and fear on him....with dar, it's the opposite. he would try to keep salim from harm's way, at least to some degree and he certanly won't treat him as poorely as he treats those other people, who are unimportant to him. canonically, out of the whole unit, dar only searching for salim. he's not sorry for all those wasted lives, it seem to barely register with him even. more so, he's actually allows salim to stick in the background for the most part, when he shots around like a maniac lol. it must mean smth comming from a war dog like him. also i must say, that dar & du’met, while both clearly sociopathic, still have very, very different stans there, not to mention, that even their sadism is kinda different too. not even in level, but also in how they apply it. they both clearly love hunting down people. they both enjoy the thrill of chase. but dar in a way uses his position, the situation he’s in as an excuse for it. while, du’met is just like that lol. salim & charlie are also opposites. there is SO very little to connect them by. besides, a very surface level things, such as them being the low-key hyperfixation/main companion for antagonists, and then how they both wander around with a lighter. so once again, its kinda impossible to pick between them, bc they represent very different things, and the characters themselves have way less in common up close vs the chris/ryan and john/adnrew. 

taking all 4 ships into account is like examining 4 of your favorite foods. it’s not the matter of which you prefer more, it’s more of what you wanna eat at the moment lol. the silver lining of all my supermassive ships be that they all have a specific brand of fixation/care/pinning/longing for one another. and they usually all have smth, that makes it difficult to approach those relationships/feelings. at least, for one party lol. but it’s kinda impossible to shove them all into some check-box tbh. i mean, it will be very hard to fit let’s say, caring chris, who tries to be good to ryan, even when he scolds him, and dar, who backhands salim, the second he fails to answer him fast enough. or compare andrew, who can push john around and shut him up by mere suggestion of disagrement, and charlie who would most likely fell on his knees and suck du’met off, rather than risk invoking his displeasure. even if simply bc du'met is capable of murdering him lol.

so idk, i can't name the most fav one tbh. i love them all for their own reasons. not to meation, that there is so many ways to explore obsession and other bits, that i love in each ship in its own way. before, i assumed, that i might have a secret fav, but looking at it now, i don't think that i do, haha.

#asks #long post #du'lie #dalim #chris x ryan #john/andrew #and look josh is kinda there too in between it all lol