Tumgik
#idk. maybe im just insane. maybe its the drugs. ive felt this way for. a while but who knows?
ergativeabsolutive · 1 year
Text
Utena gives me the weirdest feeling of deja vu. I love it, but it shouldn’t do that. Not like this.
2 notes · View notes
allamericansbitch · 10 months
Note
Can you maybe (only if you want to) rank Taylor’s albums and maybe also explain why you’d rank them like that?
oh okay ill try
evermore - my beloved, i love how every single song has such a strong identity if that makes sense. like there's this common debate that evermore is the better album but folklore has better songs? i think folklore has a strong identity as an album but the songs dont as much as evermore. every song is so unique and lives in it's own world and i LOVE taylors voice with real instruments and her storytelling is peaked here.
folklore - everything that i said about evermore basically but slightly less. i love the vibes she was able to capture and the whole album paints such a picture- i've always felt like taylor is at her strongest when she's doing something new and this being such a new place for her (genre and writing wise) shows how refreshed she must have felt.
speak now - the most dramatic, messy and honest album in my opinion. its so late teens/early 20s to me in terms of subject matter and i love when she uses some rock influence in her songs and theres so much guitar in this album i love it. also the fact that it's entirely self written insane.
1989 - a modern classic. this also strengthens my theory that taylor is at her strongest when she's doing something new and challenging. i cant believe the first time she tried pop she came out with style, ootw, blank space, etc.... like wtf. the lyrics arent as poetic as one would hope but there still good and very impressive.
fearless - my baby. there's just something so bittersweet about this album and it's so solid. there's not a lot i would cut (from the standard version... vault tracks are different) and its so wholesome and full of whimsy. i love the production on it too, i think it works with her voice so so well and it's aged beautifully.
midnights - okay heres the thing, every criticism ive seen about this album makes sense and i agree but for some reason after seeing it live... idk i like it a lot. there definitely are skips and i get why people were just unimpressed truly... but some of the songs are so insanely catchy and i like the way her voice sounds... cant explain it.
red - i think this album is really good when you're in a certain place in your life or a certain mood, it's not an everyday album for me. i think it has some of her best ballads/slow songs but the upbeat ones lack for me. the best ones are holy ground and state of grace tbh. plus with how long red tv is... it's a bit overwhelming.
debut - she's cute but she could be improved upon and it's her first album so we can cut her some slack, i love iomwiwy, tim mcgraw, picture to burn, should've said no, our song, etc. she has standouts she's nice.
reputation - this is where we go into the negatives outway the positives. this production is way too much for me, like i said her voice sounds it's best with real instruments underneath is to me- so this really fake manufactured production just doesnt work. it also aged sooo badly to me. this album live is a different story tbh but recorded it's just not my fav. when she's performing it live she adds real instruments and im praying that she does that with the rerecording because it helps so much. the only songs i would literally die for her not to change is lwymmd, dress, so it does, and ready for it. i think dont blame me is so overrated and dont understand why people love it.... im sorry. it's so basic to me... we've seen the whole 'your live is my drug' this so often and the production is basic too... i feel like anyone could be singing it.
lover - my god what this album could have been. this has some of her best and some of her worst. my list of complaints is long. i dont like the production- same reasons as reputation, way too fake and clunky. some of the lyrics are.... wild. the setlist is strange, i would cut like 4 songs tbh. i love cruel summer, inthaf, sygb, lover, london boy and false god.
7 notes · View notes
brothalynchhung · 1 year
Text
2022 overview
(istg ive been doing this for 10 years frnfiesfjeiss)
Hmmm lets see where did i start 2022
oh yeah tbh this year didnt really “start” for me until like april
because everything before april was just me working at that last stupid ass fintech 
what a waste of time honestly
but i did just get paid for doing nothing LOOOL shout out to my sis?
honestly since the beginning i knew it was just a stepping stone to moving out of to into dxb altho the transition and whatever isint easy and i still dont like living here 
but yeah i think i was playing guitar gyming, going through an ed ( i miss my slightly skinnier body but getting back there i think.. fml) and just idk hating work a lot
like the way i hated that job was insane if my sis wasnt there too i woulda bBEEN fired i did nothing but sit on the sofa there an browse pinterest and apply to other jobs and watch movies aoirNhaguiraehgubna
oh well tbh that whole job itself was a waste 
i applied to a crazy amount of jobs and had mad interviews
then got am lol after months 
shoutout to expo? lOOOL all my calls from them happened there im deaefiwfnjf 
i miss expo LOL that was also a big 2022 thing 
common grounds brr reading brrr
orange hair to blond hair to silver hair to platinum blonde brr to pink rip miss it kinda
my hair fried as shit 
oh yeah i also went to mecca this year brrr 
honestly that was an amazing experience mecca and madina was so beautiful i felt so at peace there
except for fighting the guards there cuz of the covid bullshit .. but whatev fuck em 
holy shit actually this year was a lot
i prayed there cleansed myself etc etc 
then i came back and i got a job at am LOOL
then i went to cali LOOOL
which was a ego death existential crisis of its own 
my whole life i dreamed of cali / LA and then hated it?
but also i realized yeah i really need to drive to survive in america
which kinda made me hate it lol 
venice beach was rlly nice like cali beaches r beautiful 
but like i envisioned it i went there alone and then felt hella unsafe the whole night there 
im sorry but it is not the 80s anymore 😭? lMFAOO OBV mfs were on DRUGS 
smh 
i saw jana there! that was cool also finally went to astro burger and fairfax 
thrifting there was ass
overall LA dissapointed me but i got high and ate good mochi which was cool 
OHH also i went to smokers club fest which was like the best music festival i ever been to
THE WAY I MANIFESTED THAT LMFAOOO I USED MY fintech MONEY TO GO THERE LOOOOOL 
also i guess shoutout to nadim for coming and basically driving me / us there cuz honestly if he didnt idk how the hell i woulda got there / back
but LMFAO BRR SUCCESSFUL TRIP
oh wait i forgot so yeah after my 16 hour flight and hours of walking around dt LA then to venice and walking all of venice someone tried to rob me at like 11 pm on the LA metro nice! nice! i was also high as shit! nice ! nice! lMAOFEFKEROPIGJERIS
good thing im a very good high functioning stoner? also my phone was plugged into my powerbank so my phone just went flying out both our hands and i just picked it up IGOT SO LUCKYY LMGOOOO WITHOUT IT IWOULDA BEEN FUCKEDDD imagine all the pics i woulda lost omfg naiufhrguiherguerh anywho thank god i didnt lose it kgriojgsrigjsr 
i didnt even see the guy at all omg egroghtiughrtjg
anyways after that i finally saw zaina after like 4 years in sf 
i guess sf was cool like it was normal majority of it i was just w zaina then could only go to the city w nada 
i mean honestly travelling and doing things is alone is always kinda like.. whats the point? but i dont think sf or LA are good for solo travel?LOOL 
but i guess that confirms i dont want to live in cali? i liked the nature and ppl there but uhhh idk maybe if i drived? idk fuck us lol 
im just happy i got to go to smokers fest lol
anywho i came back and then moved into my new place in ad and started working at am 
actually technically my first am meeting was in sf at like 4 am and i slept through it lMFAEOFJREIFJ  
but yeah then i started working at am 
i met that dumbass who i worked w for like 6 FUCKING MONTHS dealing w her ass and babysitting her dumb ass
i didnt even kno she would be there but whatever 
i tried to b cool w her but on god ive never met a more stupid human ever 
thank god i have a brain and im cultured and have critical thinking skills like THANK GOD IM ME 
then the whole j shit happened honestly dont want to talk or think about it anymore
tldr is i was mad lonely and its been so long since i talked to a guy that was a dumbass misogynist arab that the second i did i wasl like oooo 
and the fact that ivana also described him didnt help fueled my delusions 
even tho she said it wasnt him i didnt care cuz im a dumbass
then that actual dumbass fueled me more 
but honestly shout out to me telling her about ivana cuz if i didnt she wouldnt have led herself to her downfall which meant i woulda had to keep working w her lMFAOOO she stressed me the hell out on god 
but yeah anyways honestly all that was just bullshit im just sick an tired over the gl shit
unfortunately all that delusion and bs made 2022 a horrible fucking year cuz i was mentally stressed and depressed and having breakdowns left and right
but at the same time made me rlly passionate for work which helped me pass my probation w flying colours
now the mf think we cool when i highkey HATE his ass now 
seriously drained the fuck out me after all that bullshit im like a somber dead zombie now 
never NEVER i deadass 10000000 mean it this time am i ever going crazy over someone ever again
gl better love me and reciprocate or NOTHING im not sacrificing myself ever again FUCK no 
also worst bday of my life seriously unless i DIE theres no way my future bdays can be as bad as i spent the one this year 
it literally makes my blood boil because i did not deserve that 
basically after may my whole life became work and it was horrible i had ppl messaging me and irl asking me if i was okay like it was a complete 180 from yp i did nothing in that job to fucking EVERYTHING LIFE CONSUMING BULLSHIT in this one
hence why im now over all this bs and over working and over extending myself for this job , once 5 pm hits BYE also not working extra or more than i have to fuck yall this is just one job im still young i got my whole future ahead of me
work smarter not harder is my moto end of the day i get my money i get my exp and we go up this isint my end all and i can ALWAYS do better
not saying im not grateful for this job i rlly am but the way i approach it now is gunna be mad different in 2023 cuz i cant do that shit to myself again
but since im 10000000% over that bitch it should be easier
now my focus is just to do the shit i need to do work on mysself and personal goals, manage the mf i need to manage and travel 
which is another thing shout out to them for all the travel i did this year lMFAOO
like yeah my bday sucked ass but right after i got sent to helsinki which i loved moomin world brrr
then i went to copenhagen to see amin e and i love denmark too
except for throwing up before my flight to london hmmm
also ididnt know they smoked there that might be my future city fr LMAO 
then i went to london which was fire i missed that city its like a european ? british ? toronto LMFAO but cooler imo less shittier weather
chilled w p and k 
got high 2 brr 
european loud is weird lol 
i saw j there and  was ocnfused as to why i felt nothing yeah no SHIT bitch the mf ugly and boring as hell 
really need to constantly remind myself who the FUCK i am and what im capable of omfg 
the way my confidence and self-esteemed dropped this year
now i have no energy for none of that i just dont give a fuck about nothing anymore 
being in london was coo w money tho ugh shout out to having funds
also i got a ps5 this year best purchase ever
i think at this point i just wanna save now like meh i guess there is things i want but idk 
i dontt knowwww
after london was more bs ass work
went to seattle which i actually liked lol more than cali 
i was just happy to exp fall weather 
RECORD SHOPPING SEATTLE WAS INSANE
oh i ddidnt rlly mention how much records i bought this year LFMSIOERGJEFE 
london and copenhagen thrifting was IT and so was record shopping
but seattle was x10 better jfc 
i think i have almost all records i want? except for a few but ill get the rest this year i guess 
after seattle or i guess during idk that dumbass got fired brr karma 
went rogue on events still sends me 😭😭😭😭 mf if only u KNEW 
i think at that point i was just exhausted like from travel and what not i just wanted to stay at home and gym
too much travel = i was eating weird and not gyming so idk 
im getting back on track now but smh
 i read a lot this year which was good
movies was okay 
finished the most paintings this year
got into oil pastels and 3d sculpting 
my gym is fuckkk amazing except i miss my old pilates teacher and boxing teacher fml 
consume by chase atlantic took over this year for me LMFAOO smfh 
went to SA again hated it annoying 
yeah by december i was drained as hell from work like i still am 
shout out to sam still for being my only friend this year STYLL 
oh yeah nadine came love her 
z came too but honestly meh .. lol ? the d apple picking thing cheeses me out but whatever 
like how u actively friends w someone who shits on me and then go on smthing that was our thing w them?
so done w bum ass canada honestly no intention of going back there at all
another thing to like im kinda over all my canada friends like yeah yall are still my friends but i dont care anymore im not letting the past drag me back 
im just not allowing myself to suffer anymore 
hmm wat. else
yeah idk this year was just swallowed by work
sole was ass met amine felt ass about it 
 i need to do something w myself that i genuinely gaf i need to put myself out there more
i need saturn to move the FUCK out of aquarius that what the fuck ineed
now that that bitch is starting to move im already starting to feel better
but now i gotta wait styll until fucking march for that sooo 
overall like hard ass year high high and low lows 
im still grateful for myself + life and happy i get to save money and make money and gain experience and travel 
im just hoping next year i can do a good job at work normally and be happier / more balanced and make stuff that i genuinely like 
i just want to be happier this year
also i bought tickets to japan SO IGEIRUGHESRUGYBHESUYRN LMFAOOOO YEAH A BITCH GON BE HAPPY SHE BETTER FUCKNG BE HAPPY 
2023 will be better 
4 notes · View notes
steveharrington · 4 years
Note
what do you think are the problems with how the kids are written in s3?
okay to preface this some of these problems arent really Problems they’re like. nitpicks. and a lot of them are just a matter of opinion based on my perception of the kids so im not trying to like trash this season skdfjsdlkfj 
max: i had the most beef with max’s storyline bc i think its the most like. egregious flaw of the season. im Not talking about her being teamed up with el, i thought that was actually great and one of the best parts of the season. im talking specifically about her dynamic with billy. after watching him try to beat up lucas and then actually beat up steve only like 8 months before the season you’d think, realistically, she’d be cautious around billy. in season two she was obviously scared of him, like in the car when he grabbed her arm and she was visibly terrified, so it makes absolutely no sense that in season three she’d be willing to sneak into his room and make all these justifications as to why he’s just a normal teenage boy. ive seen people be like “she was just in denial, she didn’t think he’d really kill anyone!” and like........yeah maybe? but she did watch him almost kill steve. their relationship is just so much more casual and like....friendly? compared to season two which like severely sucks because it sorta just erases any trauma max would have relating to her brother being violent and aggressive and prone to just attacking her friends. it was all part of this weird backpedal the duffers did to convince us that billy actually isnt That Bad and therefore deserves a redemption arc. as someone who really related to max in season two because of that sibling dynamic, it sucks. 
mike: i think they took the whole “mike is a brooding asshole” thing way too far this season, and they have no real justification for it. in season one, mike is a fucking sweetheart. he’s selfless to the point of literally jumping off a cliff for dustin. he has a line where he’s specifically like “you’re All my best friends and i dont prioritize any one of you over anyone else.” in season two, he’s obviously moody and irritable, but that’s because he’s Insanely Traumatized. he formed a really close bond with el and then watched her fucking disappear into who knows where, he doesn’t know if she’s alive or dead, he’s terrified for will, it makes sense in season two why he would be so perpetually angry at the world and everyone around him. in season three, though, mike is in a pretty good spot. will is fine, el is fine And he gets to see her, his literal biggest problem at the start of the season is that he’s scared of hopper and his middle school relationship is in turmoil. it makes No Sense that he’d completely brush off will and then basically be like “fuck you gayboy” when will brings this up. like since when!!! does mike have such little regard for his friends!! it serves no purpose other than drama and it destroys basically his core character trait
will: obviously he was just like completely sidelined this season. i think it’s good that he has a storyline about feeling alienated from his friends as they grow up and he tries to cling to his childhood and the things that feel normal to him. my only complaint is that they gave him like, one episode to explore that storyline. also i really don’t think will would have so much outright contempt for el. like i get what they’re going for, i get that it’s part of his conflicting feelings about his own sexuality and his dynamic with mike and stuff, but el isn’t just a random girl to will. there should have been a little more nuance there imo
el: honestly don’t have that many problems with el’s storyline this season. i Loved the idea of her exploring an identity that isn’t just what other people think of her or expect of her, loved her hanging out with max, i even liked her investigating the billy thing UNTIL they just used her as a prop to make us feel sad for billy. but overall i think she had a really good story in season 3
lucas: again. severely underutilized. lucas is kinda just becoming comic relief which really bugs me because he was amazing in season one when he actually got to have a story arch that wasn’t just like. having a crush on a girl. i do appreciate that lucas had like 50 moments of heroism. idk if that was like, an accident, because they never really explicitly discuss it, but there were multiple moments in season 3 where lucas basically saved everyone’s ass. would’ve liked to see more of him and erica because she’s, yknow, his little sister and they barely interact the whole season. 
dustin: ok ok ok OK OK dustin is complicated this season because they kinda did a complete 180 with him halfway through the season. i was Really vibing with dustin for the first like, five episodes. dustin has always been written as kind of a lonely child, even within his group of friends, and so i think it’s natural that he have a season away from them. the sweetest thing about steve and dustin’s relationship is that dustin has always felt to some degree like an outsider in his own group (in season one he’s already come to terms with the fact that mike likes will and lucas more than him) and so it’s doubly sweet that he befriends this “cool” “badass” older kid who’s actually super lame and he can be lame with. and for the first half of season three, they really cashed in on that bond. dustin and steve wrote to each other while he was at camp, they have a secret handshake, he Literally says the words “you die, i die” like it’s an intense bond that’s only natural from someone like dustin who is so intensely loyal to his friends and finally has someone who he can consider to be His Own. but then the moment steve and robin get taken by the russians it’s suddenly like a switch is flipped and dustin is just. annoyed and exasperated???? he’s not really in a hurry to get help, he’s not that concerned when steve is like laying on the floor with his face absolutely smashed to hell, he’s MAD at steve when he tells him that he accidentally gave up his name UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF DRUGS like it’s insane. the scoops troop storyline as a whole has this really weird, kinda disturbing, comedic tone and i think this just falls under that. they ultimately decided that dustin being an exasperated keeper of two stoned teenagers would be way funnier than dustin being genuinely concerned that his favorite person just got his shit absolutely wrecked. also, the suzy thing was weird. 
37 notes · View notes
enbies-and-felonies · 2 years
Note
yeah!! i fucking hate the hallucinations, when theyre all like "hey your definitely in an actual situation rn" amd not just "woooghhhh spinny colorssss". even if its like a good situation! like one time i got married to gee way and that sounds good right? like sure its like a wierd cool dream but fun? fuck no. bc then you come down and you have no fucking clue wahts real and whats not.
i fuckin never take saliva for that reason. i like psychs. theyre fun and dont make me insanely hungover. but fuckin saliva man. literally everytime ive taken it, i have the situation hallucinations and its shit idk why i took it today.
why do i sound so sophisticated rn sbdbd. idk i feel like im using bigger words than i usually do and i dont knwk why fhsjs.
also also i have more blow and im rlly tempted to take it but i dont rlly want to but i also feel like im gnna if not tonight then like when i wake up all hungovet and pissy and want smthn to give me think and not hurt and idk what to do abt that :D
xx❄️
being in situations where you're left not knowing what's real can leave you feeling really fucked up, i get why you hate it
honestly i don't know enough abt drugs to say whether that last part makes sense, BUT. given how you just felt and ALSO the fact that we're both trying to avoid our bad habits...👀 (lighthearted) i think ideally you should dispose of it without doing it at all tonight OR tomorrow bc it is. gone <3
but considering that's kind of unlikely, maybe just don't do it tonight. be gentle on your body and give it a chance to rest before you do it again
1 note · View note
stillwooozy · 3 years
Text
i need to kick this drug habit. its bad.
Benzos benzos benzos. Fck those buggers. And alcohol. I keep on telling myself to ween my usage. Whatever
I miss...... people i ounce new. Fictional people. Maybe they are just projections of real people
I miss them. all i want is someone to hold me and tell me that they understand the insanity of it all, that they were there too, that im crazy but its ok cuz they are crazy too
Ive been thinking a lot about how i dont even want forgiveness. I dont want to SPEAK of “my canon” - doesnt matter what did or didnt happen. I just wish there were ppl i connected with that felt the same. Ive been thinking of Armin a lot. I miss him. he was my friend & he didnt WANT anything FROM me. Ive never experienced that. Mikasa too but that makes me feel guilty
Idc its so stupid. Its not really about the characters themselves, its the archetypes they represent, that is my theory
This isnt a canon call. I think its impossible ti find anyone. I can only feel if i click w/ people when irl. I cant click w/ a person or like them alone. Its all fake. Thats okay but its just ... not the way i work
I misss my ex. A part of me pretended she was my Historia or something. I wanted to think i could protect & provide for her.
But once things got too rough. Once communication began to slip. Once i was scared. I couldnt move forward.
I think i still love her. This is really dorky but i was driving w/ my sister today and she had the aux and was listening to doja cat
And my ex looks a lot like doja cat. And i think doja cat is so fucking hot. And i started to CRY in the car. Over DOJA CAT TALKING ABOUT HER TITS. my sister laughed at me. Idc it was humerous but i think i still love her. It isnt even just that she is beautiful but we had THAT chemistry, THAT chemistry i can only dream about between myself & fictional characters. We were a power couple- just in our own eyes. Idk if she misses me too. I have held back communication. Shell be better off without me, or i have to tell myself that
Maybe i just need an older man who will treat me like a pet, a respectable pet. I cant have my equal or it falls apart. I need to be below someone.
No i hate that too. All options suck
I never thiught id really DATE a woman and enjoy every second of it before her. She was beyond all gender & simple lust for me.
Maybe i was rigjy about jer orchestrating the end. Or mayeb she really was having a mental breakdown. I still dotn know if she lied about birth control or not. Idc. Her body her choice. But i was so AFRAID. Isnt that allowed? That isnt why we broke up. Everything hust went down hill agter. Probably my fault. A stronger man couldve handled it better.
Im nodding i think. Fck. I just took more benzos. Im not going to die granted but in worried.
I dont want to ho back to aot-verse... i just need to meet ppl who understand HEAVY it feels to be me. To be them. Its heavy to have these knowledge memories taht are ovjecyively silly bur controll so much of my life
0 notes
This is why we can't have nice things Gabby. Please read if you have time, just sharing my thoughts a little.
Got assaulted by my sister over a pair of leggins, if she had just let it go i could have looked tomorrow but she had to punch me when i asked her to leave. And i did find a pair of leggins i can't remember if they're mine. So i did the only thing someone salty af would do, marked them with my initials, shoved them in her face and told her they were mine. But as my sister is the biggest failure in humanity i know she still believed they were hers. But it looks like i won for now, She acts as she owns everything in our house including the house itself, she owns 95% in our shared bathroom because she places her million of things on every available space there is and i have one tiny shelf, there's like no reason for me to have anything nice because she will take it. i'm so enclosed and store everything in my own room because sooner or later that shit will disappear. She's disgusting, annoying and the litteral worst type of person there is. So utterly selfish, stuck up, can't think for her self kind of person. And me as her sister is only good for serving her, there's so much fucking wrong and fucked up things with me because i'm not living up to her standards in what a little sister should be. Because apparantly i'm suposed to humor her and agree with everything she says...is she fucking insane? Just because i like sitting around in my underwear and play videogames and my room is "boy-ish" and i only care about essential hygene products and clothes rather then lots of lots of makeup and being a godamn fahsionista i'm not "normal". She calls herself a feminist but shoves that gender role bullshit down my fucking throat. Like different opinions doesn't even exsist in her dictionary, she is correct, she has the only will. Ofc she will think that because she only values her own opinion and can't respect anyone elses. She's like an obstinate fucking toddler and idk how to deal with this. So this scenario when mom bought her some soda, like a 2 L bottle. The one mom bought me today is 1.5 L. I would not say anything because maybe the store only had that soda, or maybe mom just grabbed one, or she didn't remember what she bought and is really tired from work and i'm just glad she didn't forget to pick that soda up from the store. But oh boy, my sister though, she would have screamed bloody murder at mom then start a fucking civil war with me because she wants half of what i have then. I'll still come out with less because she thinks she deserves more. Because it's unfair, well newsflash asshole, life aint fair. It annoys me to death how unacceptable she is of someone having more or better then her..... I don't fucking understand how she thinks, shes so stupid and overdramatic.... She has no fucking shame or compassion or humanity and it's honestly so sad that it is this way. My family is litterly the weirdest collection of selfish, racist, homophobic, biggoted cheating assholes i know and all i can say is thank fucking god i became nothing of that, thank god i don't drink, smoke, do drugs or is a garbage piece of human shit. I have a bad example of pretty much all bad there is in my closest family. I mean, i became a ball of anxiety and depression but hey thats waaaaay better then some fucking redneck biggoted asshole. My family is like a bunch of hardcore christians in a way except it's for the swedish lineage. YOU CAN ONLY BE SWEDISH IN THIS HOUSE. is basicly what my parents say aka i'm banned for speaking another language or things they don't understand or want to hear. I love my dads argument that only retarded fucking toddlers speak english. I would call that a gifted toddler u piece of shit. AHHH MAN, they hate me for being so "cultural" just because i can speak like 3 languages and some fucking latin, because i'm not interested in swedish culture. Because i'm different. Like i said different and different opinions is a bad thing here. And i'm not suprised parents don't understand anything whats going on the times and this world. Stuck in their little rutine and safe bubble of their work and home. Ofc they wont think anything different because they dont get involved with something else. As someone who invests in a lot of time on social media and see a lot of whats going on the world and different cultures and opinions, ofc i would have a broader perspective and way of seeing things. Thats not gonna change. I'm not gonna force any parents to see my way because thats a shitty thing to do. But i just wish, if someone bothered to read all this shit. No matter what, why can't parents be supportive, you don't need to understand it, you don't need be a part of it. Why can't u just tell ur own child like "ohh u wanna do that thing, well good on u! And have fun" is that too much too ask? Supportive parents could change childrens lifes, because no matter what happens you know mom and dad got ur back. So why is it that people like my parents cant even talk to their own kid unless its to relay information about something they have planned, or when they want me to do somethint. They dont ask about me, how im doing or what im thinking. It's probably been 10 years since i last trusted my mom to tell her anything i felt. And ive never talked to my dad that way unless its to defend myself for some bullshit. They cant even remember the names of my friends ive had for the past 7 years. They honestly couldnt give 2 shits about me as a person and it breaks my fucking heart having to deal with this shit. In like 90% of my conversations with my parents its either an argument or im lying trough my teeth to make it seem like im fine, that everything is fine. Because i can't trust the bastards with even my life, which why i fear for my godamn life everyday that they will get tired of me. Which is hella unfair seeming as my sister is barely employed and works like 3 months a year the last 3-4 years. For now i'm being forced to get a drivers license so i can get a job. But when i do get a job and make a decent wage im gonna move into town which litterly makes my cars useless as monthly bus card is probably cheaper then maintaining a car and paying for a parking spot and i would have to look for an apartment with a garage....no thanks..and everyday....just a parking spot at work would be like 1/3 of my salary. Because thise things aint foe free. But i guess i'm gonna be glad once i have a drivers license, even if i dont use it. But i am petty as hell that theyre gonna force it on me and not my sister. If you actually read this you deserve a godamn gold star. Or like an entire cake.
1 note · View note