#idk. I’m just kinda feeling some things about it

[mysterycitrus]

oh man i thought i was the only one getting Kinda Sick of redondo’s inability to draw more than one and a half types of facial features (all of which are Wide And Muscular)

like he’s objectively a good artist, i’m just… he’s never drawn dick in a way that looks right to me

ive never been a massive fan of redondo’s art because it’s kind of the metaphorical cherry-on-top for how reductive tom taylors nightwing is. i don’t think it’s controversial to say that the layouts and style (as well as the writing) are very similar to fraction ajas hawkeye, but redondos art just feels really….. idk. sterile? which is a really really weird thing to say about a comic set in bludhaven. where’s the grit?? the grime?? why does everyone look like they’ve had the pores airbrushed??

aja’s style is very distinct and like… textured. it’s purposely minimal so when he focuses on on the details it’s easily legible to the reader. there aren’t many artists who can successfully go through a whole issue of a comic with almost no dialogue twice over and still portray some exceptional storytelling. like this is so gd good

but regardless of ajas style, i think those kind of page layouts are much more successful with artists like leonardo romero, who does draw characters distinct to each other, and also does really great splashes

even ignoring that tho, and ignoring that dicks skin colour is literally blinding white, i also haven’t ever liked how he’s been drawn and how everyone looks so similar. idk like technically he’s very skilled, but his art reminds me more of expensive corporate advertising than comic books

#hater hours SORRY #nightwing #dc comics #the ask and the answer

[caiusmarciuscoriolanus]

I’m about to literally yeet myself off of the bear tumbler until after I watch season 3. Like most of you guys are really super cool and I’ve had some genuinely awesome conversations about meta and characters with really cool mutuals. That being said.. SOME, AND I MEAN SOME NOT ALL, ARE WAY WAY TOO INVESTED IN THE PERSONAL LIVES OF THESE ACTORS AND YOURE NOT SEPARATING THE ACTORS FROM THEIR CHARACTERS. This I feel like mostly applies to Sydcarmy (as I’ve observed). Like I said, SOME of you want sydcarmy to happen so bad (which is fine) that you would go as far as to push the same narrative onto the actual actors. Why do you care so much about what they do? Why speculate on the nature of their relationship? Why hate or obsess over it? If they haven’t come out and said “yeah we’re a thing” or some shit then it’s not really anybody’s business what they do or don’t do. Whether that would be together or separately as their own people. I completely understand the love for shipping the characters but literally leave the actors alone.

And also while I’m at it, I think having favorite ships is fine and shipping in general is fine, but I’m almost kinda to the point where I’m tired of digging through all the shipping content for the bear (all ships really) to try and get to the actual stuff people post about individual characters, plot lines, meta. Like yes, I think shipping is fun and I generally don’t have any thing against it all, it’s just that at this point within the plot the relationships and priorities of characters feel like they need individual focus. We literally ended last season on close up contemplation for each individual character within the show. They are all trying to grasp their own personal struggle with the chaos and all feeling different about it. There needs to be more of that. They all have stuff to work on individually. I just don’t think we need these characters forming romantic or intimate stages to their relationships with each other or others until they settle the situation the storyline took us through last season. I may be the only person that feels that way but idk🤷🏻‍♂️ like I need so many other plot points explored before any sort of romance or intimacy. I need carmy to fucking get his shit together and figure out if he wants to do this restaurant shit. I need syd to do the same thing just in a little bit of a different font. I need Richie and Carmy to fix their shit. I need to see what Marcus is gonna do. I need carmy and Nat to lay more of their Mikey shit out on the table. I need more syd taking the reins and being acknowledged for said effort. I need Carmy to call his fucking mom. I NEED CARMY TO JUST FUCKING SAY SOMETHING AND IT NOT BE A TOTAL DEFLECTION. BRO I NEED HIM TO LIKE ACTUALLY INTAKE OXYGEN FOR A MINUTE. AND I KNOW THERE HAS TO BE MORE MIKEY FLASH BACKS. THERE ALSO HAS TO BE MORE WORLD BUILDING IF THATS THE CASE. WE’RE ONLY TWO SEASONS INTO THIS SHOW AND THERE IS SO MUCH MORE SHIT I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT.

#in other words I would rather they slow burn the shit out of any potential romantic relationship #than to just throw it at as all rushed and shit because they have so much shit to answer for #the bear fx #richie jerimovich #the bear #carmy berzatto #mikey berzatto #sydney adamu #natalie berzatto #neil fak #marcus brooks #like I’m sorry to rant but #and this is coming from someone who literally loves shipping #like please just take a whole chill pill until season 3 and see how it plays out

[spacemancharisma]

.

#vent #so today I talked to my mom about some csa stuff from my very early childhood #and it was a good and necessary talk and she didn’t do anything wrong and it’s not her fault #but at the end she was trying to lighten the mood cause obviously but instead of just like. drastically changing the subject #she tried to lighten the mood Of The Stuff and it wasn’t even insensitive it was just an awkward and bad move of a woman who #almost certainly has autism so I don’t take it personally or hold it against her #but I’m ngl it did kinda fuck me up #like. this isn’t stuff you can joke about if it didn’t happen to you. #and it just has me feeling weird to have had someone joke about it #like it’s not a big deal but I do just feel. kinda nauseous #at having had it made light of #idk. I’m just kinda feeling some things about it

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Those Beyond The Wall

sequel/companion to The Space Between Worlds, set a decade later

character-focused sci-fi set in an area divided in two, the rich protected city on one side and everyone else in the post-apocalyptic desert

follows a woman who works under the Emperor in Ashtown, keeping the peace

when mangled bodies start showing up with seemingly no murderer, she’s tasked with finding the cause, and finds out that it’s the result of corruption spanning both cities and multiple worlds

explores oppression and messy revolution, police violence and apartheid

bi & polyamorous MC

#Those Beyond The Wall #aroaessidhe 2024 reads #space between worlds sequel!!! honestly I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it….. In general I enjoyed it and I think it had #a lot of important things to say but also maybe highlighted some weaknesses(?) in both books? #or - I guess just the fact that the sff stuff (which skews a little more magicy here) is kinda small scope relative to its potential #and more there to serve the plot and characters. Which actually maybe is the point. idk- there's def mixed reviews lol #it has a messy unlikable MC (like actually - when half the weak ass reviews are saying the MC is annoying you know they are Actually a #complex character) and some interesting relationship dynamics #it is pretty solidly a sequel - I wouldnt read this without reading TSBW #cara does show up in here& tbh her characterisation felt quite different to me? unsure how I feel about that? but maybe it's the biased POV #also to be clear: polyam MC; not a polyam romance or anything #(there's - kinda a romance? or various feelings floating around and she 'ends up' with someone. feel like i would have liked that to end #more subtley but that's probably my personal taste lol) #man some of the 1 star reviews of this are kinda.....just racist though. can we get some measured critique in here #as I said i am not entirely sure how I feel about it but not quite in a way I can articulate.... idk! i think it's worth the read tho #it's maybe one of those revolutions that feels solved a little too easily in the end - but then also is it solved or is it just that the #narrative has to end at a certain point

[dumb-doll-lips]

So the guy I was today, has the fun mix of taking control and being rough w me, but also makes me feel like he feels lucky to get to be w me. Idk how to describe it. But like I notice it from the comparison to other men, but like how he compliments me and my body def feels like he’s like maybe appreciating that he gets to fuck me more. I feel that from some other guys too, but it’s such a consistent thing w him. And it’s def nice.

#like kinda think some guys I’ve seen before like intentionally didn’t compliment much bc of things being casual #if I did even the slightest fishing for something I’d get it #but they never just said anything #I feel sure in one case it was bc of the causal and seeing other people kind of set up #i got the feeling he wasn’t as about that #so I think that played into him trying to keep things w us in a little box #idk #I just like rambling about what I’m thinking #tag are for stream of consciousness-ing imo lol #slutting #🍭 #was 🍹more in the tags

[nat-without-a-g]

I don’t speak up about it much but sometimes I feel like this

#like I’m more of a lark fan and i still feel like this hdfjsdfhksj #i just got here too so idk if things are skewed #i just need to make sure people know that sparrow does not hate his children #dungeons and daddies #dndads #dndads season 2 #dungeons and daddies season 2 #sparrow oak Garcia #kaseyskat’s post about his thoughts on the relationship of sparrow and hero got me thinking about this #i wasn’t sure whether or not to tag her in this tho #kinda wanna let them have some peace #Nyx if you see this i love your work (DNDads thoughts) #also same pronouns 🤝

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

the reason i’m not afraid of aging is because i want to be a hot middle-aged man who has a toxic yaoi relationship with another middle-aged man

#u know i used to be so afraid of aging until i realized that i want to be a dilf. now it’s kinda exciting #i realized recently that i could never picture myself living past my twenties until i pictured myself as a man #but like. i want to be a man and a woman and nothing and everything #but like. i’m cool with how i look now for the most part idk if i would want to transition physically at least not rn #and rn i still dress fem enough that everyone goes straight to she/her #and i like she/her but it hurts rn #bc some of my family has switched to they/them or it/its and it’s just so soothing #but family that knows i don’t like it still use she/her and phrases like ‘daughter’ or whatever even more often on purpose #and it hurts bc i don’t really feel the need to change the way i dress/look but i know everyone assumes she/her #when they see me in a dress or skirt. even w how very not-cis my fashion sense is #but also i fucking hate pants which is a separate thing (prob autism tbh) and even if i wore pants they’d still use she/her #thinking of changing my name to something very masc so i can confuse people enough that they’ll stop defaulting to she/her #and i haven’t told ppl outside my immediate family so idc if they use she/her but i’m fucking pissed when ppl in the family do it #anyways side note when i was 12 my ideal gender (b4 i knew about being non-cis) was a floating consciousness w no body #or a plastic-doll-like creation that’s smooth all over #… i still want to be a floating consciousness actually lmao. it would be great #back then i hated being a girl but i didn’t know there were more options and also i was socially isolated (didn’t leave home for like 2yrs) #and my mother was openly transphobic whenever the topic was brought up so that was my only real experience #but i didn’t really internalize it other than the fact that my mother would be rude if i ever happened to be not-cis and guess what? she is #anyways it’s like 2am and also i’m only awake bc i was captivated by a sugar daddy middle aged gay fic for a show i watched like 5 episodes #for 2 years ago #sorry for rambling in the middle of the night lol #gn y’all

[rosaacicularis]

“i want to spend the rest of my life with you, scar,” grian said slowly, constructing the sentence carefully, trying to perfectly articulate exactly what he was trying to say. “but, i can’t give you what you’d want.”

“how do you know what i want?” scar asked, it sounded more like a desperate plea, for something, for grian. he took a step forward, closing the distance between them a little bit more. “i want you, i don’t care what that entails. i just,” he paused for a second, shrugging helplessly. “i can’t lose you.”

#idk what this is??? #but it would not leave my brain!! 😁 #i have no idea what the plot would be around this??? but that’s for me in the morning to figure out 😘 #future me is going to hate present (then past) me so much but it’s fine because i don’t care <3<3 #perhaps like…. watcher grian trying to save scar from his world of hurt #life series grian feeling so bloodthirsty but knowing that that’s not how scar goes about it #just throwing out some ideas for myself <3 #see! i’m not totally awful 😌 #hmmmm… weird conceptual thing that i’m sure i’ll remember in the morning!!! what could go wrong if i don’t write it out 😁😁 #anyway into the drafts this post goes for now #it’ll see y’all in the morning #EHAT WAS TWO AM ME ON? THISNIS KINDA GOOD #i could make this qpr scarian 👀 like aroace grian sure that he can’t give scar what he wants meanwhile aroace scar is willing to love #grian in any way to still have him <3 #scarian #desert duo #hermitshipping #snippet

[radiation]

I liked about half of Tunic. very pretty and had great level design, but the fighting mechanics were not consistent enough for the level of precision it demanded of the player. exploration was incredibly well done but the combat TO ME was something I just suffered through to enjoy the rest of the game. and then when I got to the boss rush I just uninstalled it. the combat felt so bad to play that when it felt like the developer was saying "here, you love this right? great news, you get way more of My Awesome Combat System" it felt insulting.

i think a lot of it is banking on Zelda nostalgia, but I've never played a Zelda game and I was coming at it through the lens of "this is an isometric soulslike" instead of "this is a challenging zelda-like" which made me have a bad time. i also did not think the gameplay meshed with the plot very much, for a game that was touted as "just like outer wilds."

also to be fair, I didn't engage with any of the meta-puzzles, because to me there weren't enough lore tidbits or hints of things lurking beneath the surface to make it seem worthwhile. it was just for the completionists or language nerds (laudatory).

.

#Ohhh interesting. I feel similarly in that I loved about 3/4ths of tunic but ultimately took issue with the execution of the final puzzles #They are meant to be very difficult but when a hard puzzle that feels integral to the game starts feeling like #Not only terribly unreasonable to solve but unreasonable in that ‘ARG-y’ kinda way — you’ve kinda lost me #I get that’s the intention but I personally don’t see the fun in it. Even just trying to solve PART of the endgame puzzle myself #Was like. impossible. Like actually badly designed and just left me really unsatisfied #I was actually mostly reallh satisfied with the combat so I’m interested to hear you say that #But I also did have to look up guides on how to beat some bosses LOL. Boss rush was annoying #I also have no Zelda nostalgia but i loved it because it felt exactly like playing an untranslated Japanese game and only knowing katakana #And recreating thr excitement you get by being able to piece simple things together over time in an unintended backward order #IDK … I am taking up so much of the tags but I like ur thoughts on it. Feels parallel to my chunk of criticism but in a different direction

[chibishortdeath]

Hmmm I kinda want to make a side blog for RPG Maker game development related things to be able to talk to more experienced people in that community, but at the same time I both don’t really think I’d get much attention and don’t want to accidentally spoil my own game (^^ ; ).

I have a rough story, concept doodles, a tileset, some character sprites, an enemy that walks around but can’t initiate battle yet (if I even decide to have a battle system), a couple rooms with some events, and a functioning run button, but I’m still lost on how to do much else at the moment. Especially since this program has the ability for scripting, meaning I’ll probably have to learn and actually retain another coding language.

So, I’m not very far at all lol. Idk how well that’d go over on the established fandom website, but eh.

#text post #incoherent rambling #project update #game project #I’m still also debating whether or not I can actually even make a proper horror game too #It’s the rule of like just being a horror fan doesn’t make you good at horror being afraid of something does? ya know? #I am trying to go with things that scare me personally but it’s been difficult #either things aren’t concrete of concepts enough or are wayyyy too oddly specific to make anything about #which is quitter talk I know but how does one translate the childhood heebee jeebees of watching top ten gaming videos past bedtime 💀💀💀 #or like the way too broad general fear of lack of control without making it too on the nose or too vague #truly a balancing act writing is #kinda ironically I am also a little bit less afraid of hospitals after having been to one for myself rather than family members #which makes things both more and less difficult??? #on one hand I have better references for them now but on the other hand I’m desensitized to it 😔 #I think I get used to things a little too easily for a lot of things to stay scary #the thing was a scary movie the first time I saw it and now it’s a comfort film #funger was a very scary game until I first died and reloaded a save with little consequence and now it’s just a spooky but fun rpg #but then at the same time thinking about a movie studio logo before a movie that scared me as a kid cause there was a monster in it #still gives weird left over shivers but actually seeing it doesn’t anymore for some reason #I feel like that’s how it’s worked with most things I’ve ever been afraid of in my life besides concepts like death control or idk drowning #ugh writing is HARD #but actually making a functional and fun to play game is harder oh my god do I not know how to make puzzles #I have made swivel chairs that can be knocked and walked over but that’s about it and idk what to do with that knowledge lmaooooo #and I don’t want the entire gameplay loop to be read text search room get key repeat cause that’s boring #I have also desperately tried making a stamina system but there’s not much help with that online especially not in the rpg maker forums #the no necroposting rule sucks all the threads for questions I have never get answered and never will cause no one is allowed to due to age #anyway idk what to tag this probably won’t get seen since it’s not my usual anyway but eh whatever I’ll think about this #hopefully I remember the passwords to two blogs 💀💀💀

[theloveinc]

Ok at this point like . How are we feeling about other people adding shit onto your posts?

#LMFAO NOT A VAGUE NOT HOSTILE #my therapist just keeps telling me to remove ‘but’ from my vocabulary so I can acknowledge when things are hurtful but may be unreasonable #to be upset about #but I’m just wondering bc I stopped doing that when it seemed like people got a little miffed about permission and asking and first and stuf #but now I feel like we’re doing it again #and idk how to feel #adding our own thoughts I mean #esp when the person doesn’t follow me and I really like their writing and wish they did #they followed me on ihb like two days before I switched blogs #and just didn’t ever follow me here #which I’m not expecting ofc no one has to follow anyone #but recently I’ve felt a little like :( bc I feel kinda disconnected from other writers #and have lost some other moots I liked too and idk why #idk and it’s a ME problem to be sensitive #but it’s on my mind (and it’s on my mind? idk) #anyway lol #just a lil ranty rant #caitie blabs

[recallthename]

.

#I am so annoyed rn #and I’m trying to find the space between swallowing it and completely freaking out #the thing about being me is normally people ask things of me and my brain is like ‘it is my job now to do this thing’ #regardless of my actual feelings on the matter #and I’m trying hard lately to… not do that #but idk how without feeling like I’m going to another extreme #I just consider being generous and picking your battles very valuable? #but then I’m like ‘bitch why are you considering playing dnd with your friends a battle?’ #anyway I’ve died in every combat encounter we’ve had including twice in the most recent one #I’m playing a class that I already wasn’t interested in and only chose for party balance #and my dm put restrictions on which subclass I could pick cause she thought some were op #and is now reaching out saying she wants to nerf me cause she thinks I’m to op #yes the girl who was dead for literally the entirety of our last combat encounter is too op #playing one of the THREE subclasses she recommended #I just don’t even know what to say #it’s especially frustrating because she can’t 1) wait and see if it’s actually a problem #or 2) come to me and say ‘I’ve noticed this and I’m worried’ #she’s just like ‘this is what we should do is that cool’ #i love dnd but man I kinda wish I wasn’t playing dnd with these people

[danielnelsen]

there’s so much i wanna do this week/month/etc but i’m just too sick, i have no energy, i can’t sleep, i’m constantly nauseous and headachey and on the verge of a migraine, i’m stressed and irritable and impatient and panicky…….how tf did i survive nearly 5 years of high school untreated if i can’t even manage this when i don’t have any major obligations rn

#at least i finally got my meds so hopefully i feel a little better soon #although i’m now on 20 pills per day which is Just Great #whenever i’m in remission it’s nice to just. forget sometimes that this can happen at any time #kinda wish i had the typical kinda chronic illness that people talk about with ‘flares’ #or at least triggers that i can plan around #the other times have all had an easily identifiable stressor tho tbf. idk what caused this one #the first time was whooping cough and the next few were all very major life stressors like my cat dying right after i started uni #and i think also towards the end of my honours thesis? #but this…….there’s no major stress right now. nothing wildly beyond normal #i’m a little concerned about my joints tho. they’ve been so much worse than normal the last few months #so i’m kinda worried i’m developing rheumatoid arthritis (also an autoimmune disease and it runs in the family specifically) #so if that’s happening then it could set my thyroid off? probably should get to the doctor at some point #obv i’m seeing my endo for thyroid stuff. but i should see my gp and get her to run all the autoimmune blood tests again #i’ve done that before but it’s been a few years and my ankles and knees are so painful i can’t even walk properly a lot of the time #BUT I JUST WANNA DO THINGS I ENJOY AND I CANT AND I WILL CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT #‘oh you’re so lucky you don’t have as many obligations because you’re chronically ill’ ha ha ha please swap lives with me immediately #personal #but seriously. i wasn’t diagnosed until i was nearly 17 and we can trace it back to whooping cough when i was 12 #so it was the last half of year 6 and then all of years 7-10 and the start of year 11 of just being. uh. ‘very lazy and complaining a lot’ #and TEACHERS joking about me and my sister (who was dealing with an arguably more severe undiagnosed disease) missing so many classes #wow so funny pdhpe teacher who’s supposed to be teaching is about health #and the thing with being a mentally ill teenager is that hyperthyroidism can just look like a very severe anxiety disorder #so i didn’t go to the dr until i was too sick to go to school at all. and luckily had a good dr who did a blood test #i’m just rambling now because i can’t sleep and i don’t wanna lie here doing nothing #might go play pvz or something. that’s been keeping me entertained

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

i get a lot of family friends or neighbours saying “you’re so impressive” and i get similar things from other people when i tell them what i’m doing and idk how to be like “nah it’s nothing” bc they always think i’m being humble or something but i just genuinely cannot conceive of the compliments they’re giving me. my essay was just nominated for an award and i appreciate that people like my work but that’s it

#this is not me bragging or being like ‘look at me im so cool but so humble’ i just genuinely cannot feel like it’s anything else than a #‘yeah i did well’ kinda thing. but not in the way people are making it out to be. like yeah this means it’s a good essay ig but that’s it #people talk about me and I’ll get my mums friends going ‘your mum told me you’re doing [xyz]. thats incredible’ and idk how to be like #it’s just what im doing. its no more special than anything else really #I don’t want people to expect some sort of genius when i walk into a room because i’m not. i don’t even know what i’m doing #i get worried people are gonna expect someone and then a 5’2 brunette with glasses is gonna walk in and be completely average as well as #painfully awkward. im worried people will think im some sort of highly achieved savant or some shit and im not #idk. it’s just been a week. im excited my essay is nominated but more because it’s a good essay and i like the acknowledgement #not because it’s Oh My Goodness Your Essay Is The Best And So Impressive And You Should Be So Proud #vent tw #kinda

[sluttyten]

After I eventually finish this Haechan fic (s2g I don’t know why it’s getting so long 😂) and after I finish the rest of unholy, I’m gonna force myself to keep to a word minimum and just write something short because I can’t keep doing these long fics 😭

#I do this to myself lmfao #NONE of these things were meant to be this long but for some reason?? they are #I’ve got 4 parts to the Haechan fic rn #and it’s 71.5k in length and I’m not done #it’s definitely slow burn by the way #and I could cut that word count by like a quarter probably except the way that I wrote it I feel like adds an additional layer to the story #so I want to keep it in but I don’t technically really need that quarter/third of the story #but it adds to it!! I still don’t know how I want to post this either #obviously not in one big chunk because that’s fucking daunting to see a one post fic that’s like almost 75k #and the order I want to post it in because I can kinda change the order up from the way that I wrote it #all I know is that this fourth part I just finished has to be fourth #but the first three are kinda sorta? interchangeable #and now I have to write the fifth part but idk exactly how I want to write it #but I’m almost positive it’s gonna be the final part #but the fourth one is 25k by itself 😂 #this is what I mean tho #I need to write a nice short 5k piece #or several like 5k and under smutty things about various members #I like to think I can just squeeze these out but then damn it takes me like two or three months because I just keep adding onto them and #evolving the story as I write it smh #I gotta go I need to keep writing and also eat dinner

[skhardwarevers1]

spent two hours studying and I’m STILL thinking about Cassie

#For a lot of reasons…like it’s interesting to know that she knew (and was married to!!)the person who kinda fucked up a lot of peoples lives #And also I’m just thinking like how’d they meet #Like Koeia always has been a science girly and I love her for that. #But how’d you end up with like the most superstitious definitely believes in the supernatural paranormal girl to ever exist #(And technically she is justified in believing that since some of it IS true…but some of it isn’t or are misconceptions) #(Which once she does find out more about she thinks is really cool. She would dedicate herself to studying these things I swear) #Like Koeia you literally created Moon and you married someone who believes In horoscopes #(Nothing wrong with that really…I just think they’re kinda stupid if you whole heartedly believe and follow horoscopes and astrology) #(Like you won’t hang out with people because of their signs kinda astrology crazy) #(Cassie is very mild with it like she’s THE girl to go too for that type of stuff cuz she knows a lot but doesn’t follow it like a religion #(Like I said she doesn’t follow anything in specific she just does things) #Anyways I feel like at some point everyone who knew them was like “you’re telling me they’re getting married??? Those two???” #Cuz they’re completely different!!! Like not even beliefs and morals wise personality wise too #Idk it’s crazy to me that like. They worked out so well for so long. Like I wanna say probably around 20 years? #I don’t ever confirm exact ages of my characters ever so I’m just estimating based on an age range I think they are now #And an age range I think they were when they got married #S.K brain dumps