#she tried to lighten the mood Of The Stuff and it wasn’t even insensitive it was just an awkward and bad move of a woman who | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ladyblogger-margie · 3 years

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Permit Pending - Thanksgiving

Pairing: Will Miller (Triple Frontier) x F!Reader

Summary: You learn a surprising truth about Will’s history that leads to a sloppy hookup in a bar bathroom.

Word Count: 1252

Rating: 18+ Only (Oral M!receiving) drinking

a/n: Can be read as part of the Permit Pending Series between Part 2 and 3, or as a standalone one shot. It’s basically just smut. Tom appearance.

Series Master List

You had been surprised yet flattered to be invited to the Morales home for Thanksgiving. Your family was out of state and it was nice to have a closer alternative. At first you had been nervous, you and Will hadn’t been together that long, and while you’d spent several weekends in a row with the guys and Maria, there was something so personal about the Thanksgiving holiday you thought. It meant something to you that Will had wanted you to be there with him.

After a delicious dinner, Maria, pregnant and exhausted, kicked you all out, and even though you had offered to stick around and clean up, she insisted you joined the boys at the bar for an after dinner drink. That’s how you found yourself sandwiched between Benny and Will at a booth across from Tom and Frankie.

Tom had been in a bad mood all day, but seemed to lighten up when you started a drinking game. Will was the designated driver so it was you and Benny versus Tom and Frankie. You slammed your shot glass down, finishing the game and Will declared you and Benny the winners. He gave you a kiss as a reward.

You were tipsy, but not yet drunk when Tom gestured to you and said, “I like her,” he finished his beer and continued, “She’s a lot more fun than your fiancée.”

You froze and you felt Will do the same.

“Ex-fiancée. She’s been gone four years,” Will hissed.

The tension at the booth was palpable. Will could feel you hadn’t moved as you sat next to him. He wished he could see your face, gage your reaction, but all he could see was your profile. He hadn’t told you about his ex. He wasn’t ready to talk about his PTSD with you yet and he couldn’t talk about his ex without having that conversation too. Tom has saved his life several times, he was a great military leader, but this was so far past the line he didn’t know how to react.

“Another round?” Frankie asked, changing the subject and breaking the silence.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” Will said, storming away to compose himself. He didn’t want to get angry in front of you.

You watched his back as he went to the back of the bar to the row of bathroom doors. You finished your beer when Tom sighed, “Shit.”

“Come on, man,” Benny said to him.

Tom looked ashamed when he looked at you, “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that.”

“We just haven’t talked about that part of his life yet,” you said, keeping your voice level despite the upset you felt deep in your stomach. How could Tom be so insensitive? Clearly this was a trauma in Will’s life, perhaps a side effect of his PTSD. Tom should’ve known better.

“I’m going to the bathroom too,” you said standing up and following in Will’s footsteps without waiting for a response from the guys.

You were right outside the door when Will opened it to head back to the table, his rage now under control. Before he could step out though, he felt your hand on his chest nudging him backwards. You pushed him, not hard enough to knock him over by any means, but purposefully and he followed your lead. He watched as you closed the door behind you.

“I should’ve told you I had an ex-fiancee-” he began before you interrupted him with a kiss.

“I don’t care about that,” you said, “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

He felt you pull at his belt, undoing the buckle before getting to work on his button as you kissed him. He felt himself harden under your touch and his breath hitched.

“I’m fine,” he said, though not protesting too much as he liked the direction this was headed.

You unzipped his fly and palmed him through his briefs, feeling him grow under your touch and your mouth watered. If his ex didn’t appreciate the man that she had, you had to show him that you were different and were not going to repeat her mistake. You were going to show Will exactly how much you cared for him.

Will watched you drop to your knees as you pulled him out of his briefs, hard and ready. You pumped him a few times, looking into his eyes. He licked his lips as you spit into your hand and pumped him again. He braced himself against the wall and watched as you lifted him to your mouth and ran your tongue up the underside of his shaft.

He left out a soft groan deep in his throat which he wasn’t sure you could hear as you took his balls in your mouth and continued to pump his shaft in your hand. He put a hand gently on the top of your head, desperate for more, his mind going blank to everything but you.

You pulled off his balls, a string of saliva stretching from them to your pursed lips. “You’re a good man, Will,” you said, still pumping him, “I’m not going anywhere.”

He told himself you didn’t know what you were really promising, that you didn’t understand why your fiance had left you, and that you’d probably leave him too. But for now, he let himself believe it could be true. That he could be with you forever. He let himself get lost in this moment when you said you’d stay.

You licked the precum off the tip before you took his whole cock into your mouth as deep as you could. You choked on it and you felt him shiver at the sound of you gagging. You looked up at him with his cock deep in your throat, your eyes beginning to water, then you started to bob up and down on his cock, sucking deep and hard. You felt his hand slip off your head to grip the back of your neck and you let him take control and fuck your face as you dripped salivia and precum out of your mouth.

You pulled off him with a pop, “I want you to cum in my mouth, I want to taste you.”

You saw his blown pupils, and his chest heaving and you knew he was close. You took him back in your mouth and tried to express how you felt about him though this sloppy, bar-bathroom blowjob. You hope he understood it as the declaration that it truly was. You wanted to be part of his life and that included the messy stuff.

When he came hot and thick down your throat you made sure to collect and swallow every drop. Licking your lips and wiping your face he dragged you up off your knees and crashed your lips together. You wrapped your arms around his neck when he pulled away to catch his breath.

“Good?” you asked, feigning innocence.

“Great,” he said, his voice breathy.

“Let’s go get me a drink,” you said, dropping your arms and grabbing his hand to lead him out of the bathroom.

Back at the table, you were now sitting entirely in Will’s lap, he was completely unwilling to let you go, desperate to hold onto this feeling for as long as he could. And if you could feel his erection through his jeans, he hoped you knew he was going to use it to repay the favor later when he took you home.

#will miller x f!reader #will miller #permit pending series #william ironhead miller x F!Reader #triple frontier fanfiction #triple frontier

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gdialex · 5 years

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Hello, Ms. ALEXANDRA TAYLOR. My name is Detective Booth and I’m handling this case. I don’t need to go into details; you know why you’re here, and we already have you down as a suspect in her death. We’ve got witnesses to corroborate and a budding timeline, but we need more information from you directly. Make my day easier and cooperate with me on this, will ya’? I just need you to answer these questions for me. Do me a favor and don’t lie – you’re talking to a trained professional right now, I’ll be able to pick up on certain things whether you realize it or not. Lying will only come back to bite your ass later on. Just some food for thought. Let’s begin.

alex didn’t break the rules; that was her thing. she always did the responsible thing, the practical thing, the right thing. she was dependable. i.e.: she wasn’t the kind of girl that you’d expect to see being questioned in a police station. maybe that’s why her palms couldn’t stop sweating––or maybe it was because she broke the rules everyday, and she just hadn’t been caught yet.

Q: I’m gonna’ start light. I hate interrogators who go straight into the hard stuff, ya’ know? I find it impolite. So, tell me a little about yourself. Give me your full name.

she cleared her throat and wiped her palms on her jeans before quietly murmuring, “alexandra penelope taylor.” she twisted her mother’s opal ring around her finger a couple times, looking up from her hands when the detective didn’t respond. he was looking at her expectantly, pen carefully perched in his hand, so she cleared her throat again and added, “i, um, i’m on the soccer team. my major is biochem. i don’t know...i’m not really that interesting.”

Q: Alright. Tell me your date of birth and age.

“august 29th, 1999––so i just turned twenty.” these were supposed to be the easy questions. she wasn’t sure why she could feel her heart jumping up her throat.

Q: Where did you grow up? What was your home life like? Tell me about your family and your upbringing. Give me your story.

alex shifted in her seat and reached for her ring again, stroking the pad of her pointer finger over the smooth surface of the iridescent stone. “i don’t really see how that’s relevant to morgan’s death,” she mumbled. detective booth gave her another blank stare, and alex sighed softly under her breath. “i’m from here. i grew up with my dad, my sister, and my brother. my childhood was pretty average, you know, peewee soccer, skinned knees, homemade volcanoes...the usual.”

detective booth arched his brow and stopped writing, “and your mother.”

alex set her jaw and tried not to look too defiant, “she wasn’t around.” booth started writing, and alex’s heart started creeping up her throat again as she went through every serial killer with an absentee parent in her mind, bottom lip tucked between her teeth. the detective waited for her to continue, but alex kept her lips firmly pressed together this time. she didn’t need to get into her family trauma in order to prove that she wasn’t a murderer.

Q: Tell me about the most impactful people in your life. I’m not picky – they can be good or bad impacts.

she wanted to protest the relevancy of the question again, but detective booth didn’t look like he was in the mood for her technicalities anymore, so she folded her arms over her chest and leaned back against her chair, “gerty cori, marie curie, audrey evans...” her cheeks flushed as booth cleared his throat, scratching the back of her neck. “i suppose if you meant people i actually know, that’d be my best friend shiloh sinclair’s parents. maura took me prom dress shopping and taught me how to use a tampon, and piers took me to cubs games and taught me how to fish.” she smiled a little at the popsicle-stained memories and bit down on the inside of her cheek, “...and shiloh, too. he makes me a better person. he makes me want to be good enough to be his friend.” she forgot for a moment that she was talking to the man investigating shiloh’s dead girlfriend’s murder. she quickly wiped the dopey, lovesick smile off of her face.

Q: What are your goals in life? What would be your ideal final ending? What would help you reach these goals?

“i want to be a surgeon. ideally, chief of my chosen field.” alex smiled a little and shrugged her shoulders slightly, “i’m kind of an overachiever. i already have a ten-year plan set in place, so i don’t really need to worry about how i’m going to reach my goals.”

Q: How would you describe yourself?

alex blinked a couple times and chewed on her bottom lip. she hated that question with every fiber of her tiny being. she knew what she wanted people to think about her, and she knew what people actually thought about her––but she had no idea what she actually was. she’d been playing pretend for such a long time; it was hard to remember which face was real. “responsible,” she finally said, brushing her fingers through her hair, “and tenacious. i’ve been told that i’m more than a little stubborn sometimes, too.”

Q: What do you do in your free time? What’s your idea of fun? What sports or extracurriculars are you in at Hyland University?

detective booth’s impatience be damned, alex sighed and pursed her lips, “i really don’t see how this is helping you figure out who killed morgan. i play soccer––does that make me a killer? do all psychos have a penchant for futból and science, or are they more into golf and chess?”

Q: Do you drink? Smoke? Take drugs of any kind? Answer carefully on this one, kid.

alex had to put a lot of effort into not looking guilty, into not thinking about the bottles of pills stuffed underneath her nail polish drawer. for someone who lied all the time, she was really bad at it. “coach would kick my ass if i jeopardized state.”

detective booth narrowed his brows, “is that a no?”

she narrowed her brows back at him and met his gaze, keeping her chin steady, “that’s an emphatic and resolute no.”

Q: Tell me about the relationships in your life. Friendships, romantic, everything in between.

she bit down on the tip of her tongue to keep herself from letting out a large groan. he was almost as bad as the shrink her dad made her see after her mother left. “i’ve been kind of seeing this guy. it’s not serious––and i really only have one friend. shiloh’s been my best friend for as long as i can remember. he’s the only person i can count on no matter what.”

Q: What’s the best thing that has ever happened to you? What’s the worst? Q: Let me throw in a fun one, lighten up the mood. Would you rather only be able to tell the truth or only be able to lie?

arching her brows, alex drummed her fingers on top of the interrogation table. she hadn’t been sleeping well, and she was beginning to let her irritation get the best of her. “are you using psychology as your main source of evidence ?? because it’s totally bullshit. you should really get your forensic team in here to ask me relevant questions that could actually catch a killer.”

Q: Did you kill Morgan Parrish?

alex folded her arms over her chest and leaned back in her seat, snorting, “has that ever actually worked for you?” detective booth didn’t look impressed, so she sighed and added, “no. of course not.”

Q: Let’s get some background information on this. How do you know Morgan Parrish?

it didn’t seem wise to mention all the ways that morgan had ruined her life before she was murdered, so alex twisted a strand of her hair around her finger and said, “we met on the cheer squad freshman year. we were friends, good friends. she kind of took me under her wing.” it wasn’t a lie. she just...wasn’t telling the complete truth.

Q: Explain the extent of your relationship with her. Was it platonic? Civil? Rocky? Romantic?

“like i said, we were friends.” she paused at booth’s almost isdecernatble frown, “we sort of drifted apart the couple months before she...passed on.”

the sound of his pen on paper was really doing a number on her heart-rate. “define drifted apart.”

“it’s pretty self-explanatory, and it happens all the time. life just got in the way, and we didn’t really have much in common after i quit the squad.”

“except her boyfriend.”

alex’s eyes went sharp for a brief moment before she painted a docile expression on her face, “we were all good friends, yes. ask anyone. we used to hang out together when i wasn’t too busy at the lab or with homework.”

Q: In your own words, describe Morgan Parrish to me.

“she was...unforgettable. a real force of nature, you know?” that wasn’t even a lie. it was one of the many things that alex was jealous of. it was no wonder why people gravitated to her. she had her own gravitational pull, and alex would always be stuck in someone else’s orbit.

Q: Would you say your life got better or worse upon meeting Morgan Parrish?

“depends on the day.” she tried for a wry grin, but detective booth didn’t look convinced, so alex added, “if it weren’t for her, i would’ve have met a lot of the most important people in my life.” she also wouldn’t have lost a lot of the most important people in her life, but that seemed irrelevant.

Q: What was your favorite thing about her?

“she was brave. she did whatever the fuck––sorry, she did whatever she wanted, and she didn’t care what people thought about her. i really envied that about her.” saying something nice about morgan left a bitter taste in her mouth, but she covered it up with a soft smile. for the first time in her life, alex was grateful for her baby cheeks. people always said that she had a trustworthy face.

Q: What was your least favorite thing about her?

“she...could be insensitive sometimes. she didn’t think about other people’s feelings when she really wanted something.” or ever.

Q: Where were you the night of her murder?

“i don’t really remember. probably studying––i’m always studying if i’m not at practice or the lab. it’s probably a safe bet that i was with shiloh, too. do people actually remember where they were on a random day of the week almost a year ago?”

Q: Where were you the day before?

“like i said, probably studying. i don’t really have much of a life outside of my major and soccer.”

Q: Where were you after?

alex just stared at him for a long time before he started writing again, hopefully picking up on the fact that she ,,, uh ,,, didn’t fucking remember.

Q: How did you feel about her passing?

“it was a tragedy,” alex repeated the party line numbly, flashing back to just after she found out. truthfully, she wasn’t sure how she felt. maybe she was a little relieved––happy, even––but mostly she felt sick, so fucking sick at the thought of being turned into someone that could be happy about the death of a person she once knew.

Q: What do you think about the way she died? Just as a refresher, Morgan Parrish was drugged, strangled, beaten, and then shot.

alex winced as she pictured all the blood and swallowed hard, curling her fingers into her palms. “i think...that no one deserves to die like that...no matter what they’ve done.”

Q: Did you make any sort of tribute to her death and put it on social m-

Another interrogator walks into the room. She’s holding a folder with your picture clipped to the front. She opens it in front of Detective Booth and whispers something into his ear. He shoots you a look and then excuses himself from the room. He returns twenty minutes later, features stony. He quickly writes something down on his notepad and then caps the pen.

Q: Change of plans. I’m going to scrap the questions I had prepared and ask you what I see fit. Where were you exactly the night Morgan Parrish died?

alex looked around the room wildly until her eyes landed on a very old picture of herself. she looked younger (( if that were even possible )) and frowned at the thickness of the folder. “i, uh, i just told him that i don’t know. i mean, i don’t remember. it was a long time ago.”

Q: Tell me all the details you can remember from that night.

dropping her head into her hands, alex massaged her temples and closed her eyes to keep the migraine forming at bay. she could really fucking use a pill right now. “like i said before, i was probably studying. maybe i was working in the lab. i’d have to ask my boss for the schedule––if she even kept the schedule from last year.”

Q: Were you intoxicated at any point?

“of course not. i rarely drink, and if i do i don’t get drunk. i’m not a moron; i have a lot of plans for my liver.”

Q: Are there any witnesses able to corroborate your story?

“maybe my co-worker steven rich...if i was studying, i might’ve been alone.”

Q: I feel like you’re leaving things out. Tell me all the details you can remember from that night.

“you can ask me as loudly as you want; that’s not going to magically make me remember a totally insignificant day.”

Q: … are you telling me the truth, kid? We got six other students we’re talking to today – sure would suck for you if one of ‘em was able to prove that something you’re saying is false.

“only six? i’m shocked. morgan knew everyone on campus. did you even check the greek life roster?”

Q: What was the last thing you said to Morgan?

alex’s smirk faltered for a moment, and she absently started drawing little circles on her kneecaps. the last thing she ever said to morgan was that she hoped that she dropped dead. sometimes, she still felt a little guilty about it. “probably that i’d see her on campus,” she finally said in a small voice.

Q: Have you ever gotten into a physical altercation with Morgan before?

she gaped at the detective for a moment and then shook her head, “of course not. she would’ve kicked my ass.”

Q: Have you ever fought verbally with Morgan?

“...friends fight sometimes. it’s not that weird.”

Q: Would you say you felt safe around Morgan?

alex would actually say that she never felt more unsafe than when she was around morgan, but she absolutely did not say that. instead, she said, “i don’t...i don’t really feel completely comfortable around anyone.” her lips twitched into a soft smile, “except for shiloh.”

Q: Do you wish you had never met Morgan?

tilting her head slightly, she pursed her lips together and shrugged her shoulders, “i wouldn’t be the person i am today if i hadn’t met her.” and who didn’t love being riddled with carefully implanted insecurities?

Q: Do you own a gun?

“what? no. i’m very anti-gun, did you know that in switzerland––”

Q: Have you handled a gun before?

she glared at the detective as she was cut off and tossed her hair over her shoulder, “obviously not.”

Q: Do you know someone who owns a gun?

“i’m pretty sure the president is carrying. why don’t you ask him if he shot morgan. he has quite the temper.”

Q: Have you gotten into physical fights before?

alex snorted and glanced down at herself, “yeah, ‘cause i look like the kind of person that thinks they could take someone in a fist fight.” she rolled her eyes as the detective waited for her to actually answer her question, “no. i’ve never gotten into a physical altercation––unless you count the time some girl broke my nose on the field, but i’m pretty sure the definition of fight entails that i fought back.”

Q: Is there anyone who can prove where you say you were on the night of her death?

“like i said about ,,, uh ,,, seven times, check with my boss. i’m pretty sure that i was working. her name is professor stroud.”

Q: Do you think Morgan deserved to die?

“no, of course not.” they really didn’t have the time to get into a deep discussion on the ethics of death, did they? because alex had some complex thoughts on the subject.

Q: Do you wish she was still alive?

“i don’t know.” alex let out a dramatically wistful sigh and shrugged her shoulder, “maybe she’s in a better place.”

Q: Do you miss her?

she blinked, surprised at the instinct to say yes, and chewed on her bottom lip. there was a time when they had been close. morgan was...awful, you couldn’t deny that, but she also had a way of making you feel incredibly special sometimes just because she was putting up with your miserable existence––or maybe that was just alex. “more than i ever thought i could.”

Q: Has your life gotten better or worse since her death?

“i don’t know. it’s just different. different different.”

Q: If you could bring her back to life, would you?

“that’s an extremely illogical question, and i refuse to answer on behalf of rationalists everywhere.”

Q: Are you hiding something from the people of Hyland? From your family? From me?

she wiped the sweat off of her palms onto her jeans, “nothing pertinent to the investigation.”

Q: Have you been telling the truth this entire time?

“yes.”

Q: Did you kill Morgan Parrish?

“no.”

#hylandtask #wow guess who got lazy near the end

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writingdummy · 7 years

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a helping hand

pairing: jeon wonwoo genre: fuff, angst; dad!au word count: 1500 + admin: jun a/n: god, i love wonwoo’s laugh. sorry for the giant gif, i love it too much. i hope this is what you were looking for, anon~

When Wonwoo’s wife left him in this world, all alone… there wasn’t much that could make Wonwoo happy.

Well, that didn’t include his son.

They named their son Sejun, and that was the last thing said by his wife before she passed away from childbirth. The guilt of his wife’s passing ate at Wonwoo everyday, but it would go away for the few minutes his son was trying to cheer him up.

Whenever Sejun noticed Wonwoo was sad, he would run up to him and give him a hug or he would sing a song for Wonwoo. The efforts put in by his little boy were never underappreciated. Wonwoo could always feel himself tear up a bit when he sang, since his voice always sounded so similar to his wife’s.

The days seemed to be longer and longer each passing week without his wife by his side. Even five years laters, each day passed by as if it was a century and his heart still sunk to the point where he felt sick to his stomach. He tried to swallow down his sadness for the day, seeing the excitement on Sejun’s face for his first parent-teacher night. Only a few days ago, when Wonwoo was informed about this day, he had agreed, since he had a pretty wonderful day. Now, after those few days passed, Wonwoo became sad all over again.

“Come on, daddy! Hurry!” Sejun yelled into his and Wonwoo’s one bedroom apartment, jumping up and down excitedly. Wonwoo laughed with his deep voice, hurrying out of the bedroom and pushing up his glasses.

“Okay, okay…” He mumbled, sitting down on the little bench at their front entrance and pulling on his shoes. “Look at you, already dressed up without daddy’s help.” He said, patting his son the head and giving him a soft smile. He could see that his son was a little flustered, since he was usually very baby-ish and complained about getting ready in the morning without Wonwoo’s help.

“Yeah, I’m a big boy now! I can even go to the bathroom without your help.” Sejun said, jumping up and down again excitedly. He definitely got his energy from Wonwoo’s wife.

“That’s right. You can. Good job,” Wonwoo cheered encouragingly. He quickly finished tying his other lace and stood up, shoving his phone into his pocket and patting Sejun’s back so they could leave.

The drive there was short and pleasant, since Sejun was singing along to whatever song was playing on the radio. Sejun was amazing at memorizing lyrics. Within two times of hearing the song, he could memorize half of the lyrics, which was impressive for a four year old.

When they reached, Sejun had no patience and practically ripped the belt of his booster seat off and jumped out of the car, running to the other side and bouncing while Wonwoo came out of the car and offered his hand to the young boy. He took Wonwoo’s hand and almost literally dragged him to his classroom.

“Sejun-ah, slow down buddy.” Wonwoo cautioned as they made their way to the very first classroom on the right, right after they entered the school. Sejun left go of his hand and went off to play with his classmates who had come with their parents.

The group of parents huddled together, away from the designated table where the teacher was, was huge. Wonwoo put his hands in his pockets and made his way over to the large group, standing outside of it awkwardly.

“Excuse me, is this the lineup to see the teacher?” He asked one of the mothers standing in front of him. The lady nodded while smiling kindly, and then going back to her conversation with another mom, who also smiled kindly at Wonwoo. He felt his heart warm a bit at how kind they were, then looking over to where Sejun was playing with his friends. His heart melted at the sight of his kid laughing his face off with his friends, playing with the toy scattered around the carpet.

Although the lineup was big, Wonwoo wasn’t very bored or irritated, since he rarely ever got to see Sejun in this sort of environment with other kids his age to play with. Because of this, the cue disappeared a lot quicker than he thought it would, and there were only a couple kids left from the few parents waiting in the line behind Wonwoo.

He watched as the mother he had asking about the lineup earlier thanked the teacher and stood up, walking over and taking her daughter out of the classroom. Wonwoo blinked, looking to the teacher who stood up to greet. He felt himself blush softly. She was clearly on the younger side, which was odd because he remembered his kindergarten teacher being an old lady. Wonwoo bowed to the teacher, coming and sitting across from them on the table and looking back to Sejun.

“So, you’re the much talked about Sejun’s father?”

Wonwoo’s head whipped back to the teacher and he smiled softly. “Much talked about?” He asked, chuckling softly at the teacher’s words. “I’m Wonwoo, it’s nice to meet you.” He introduced himself and then held out a hand for her to shake.

“I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you as well. You son seems to take a lot of interest in learning. He has a passion for reading, but also for singing. He’s a very fast learner.” She said, folding her hands on the table and smiling fondly at Sejun as well.

“Yes… he gets that from my wife.” Wonwoo mumbled, his smile widening a bit at the thought of his true love.

“I have a desire to teach him more than the kindergarten curriculum sometimes, because I feel like his potential is up here,” she said, holding her hand up to a height above her head. “But we’re teaching him down here,” she continued, moving her hand to a level below her head. Wonwoo nodded in understanding.

“I wouldn’t mind him getting an early start on grade one, but I’m afraid he’s going to grow up too fast…” Wonwoo explained. “I mean, wouldn’t every parent worry about that?” “Have you discussed it with your wife?” She asked, tilting her head at him.

Wonwoo’s eyes widened for a second, and then he looked down to the soft yellow table, frowning a bit.

“She isn’t here to discuss this kind of stuff with anymore…” He whispered, looking up to the teacher and trying to keep his composure. Her eyes widened and she covered her mouth with her head.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. That was incredibly insensitive of me.” She said, shaking his head frantically. “I shouldn’t ask questions like that.”

“No, no… it’s fine, really.” Wonwoo said reassuringly, patting her hand. “It’s something I need to get use to.”

She smiled gently and nodded in some sort of understanding.

“I lost my husband as well, so I know what you’re going through… probably more difficult for you though, considering you have a child with her.” She nodded her head in Sejun’s direction, but Wonwoo didn’t turn to look there. His eyes were trained on Y/N. Suddenly he felt as if they had this connection… understanding between the two of them because of what they experienced.

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” he mumbled. She shook her head at him.

“We learn to get by, right?” She exclaimed with a hearty laugh to lighten the mood. Wonwoo noticed just by observing that they had a lot more common than she had originally let on. “Anyways, your son is doing just amazingly. Why don’t you take your time on thinking about getting him extra work?” She asked, smiling and standing up to send him off with Sejun. Wonwoo stood up as well, nodding at her idea.

Seeing his father stand up, Sejun was already saying goodbye to his friends and running over.

“I will definitely get back to you on that. Thank you for the idea.” Wonwoo said, bowing to her. She bowed as well, smiling widely and looking to Sejun.

“Hello, Sejun-ah,” she greeted kindly, causing Sejun to giggle. He ran around the table to give her a hug, to which she returned the best she could since she was quite a bit taller than him.

“See you tomorrow, Ms. L/N!” He practically cheered, clearly happy to see his father and teacher smiling at each other. The two adults said their goodbyes, and Wonwoo took Sejun’s hand, leading him out of the classroom.

So not only was she beautiful, incredible, and understanding on his situation, but his kid loves her, clearly. That only made her all the more attractive. As they walked out, he only then noticed his heart beating a little quicker than when he first greeted her, which he couldn’t tell if this was a good thing or a bad thing.

The one thing he hoped for with this was it wasn’t just him wanting something to take his mind off of his wife. He hoped for something real again, and he knew that it would come with time.

Time to heal, physically and mentally. To finish the nights he spent crying himself to sleep, although he knew those nights would never go away…

He knew he could appreciate a helping hand though, and that it was almost worth going through all this mourning to have someone by his side once again.

So he waited.

pt. 2

#write-svt #wonwoo #seventeen wonwoo #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo imagines #wonwoo scenarios #wonwoo fluff #wonwoo angst #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #seventeen #pledis 17 #17 pledis

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dusty-cookie · 7 years

Text

Through The Valley - Chapter 12

AO3 Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10075958/chapters/25857774

Tags: @rickdixonandthefandomlifeposts @embracetheapocalypsewithme @kinkozan @lupienne @theblack-wolf @lovingzombiechaos@dragonracer @miiraal

Pairing: Negan X OFC

Word Count: 6337

Jesus smiled kindly at Negan and Lilly.

“It's almost dark. The road between Hilltop and the Kingdom can be dangerous at night and it's a long drive. We've got a tent to spare. And I'd sleep much better knowing you won't be out there in the dark.”

“That's some really fucking nice hospitality,” Negan said with a grin. Lilly was glad to see her leader being his usual cheerful self again.

Negan started to ask Jesus all kinds of questions about the Hilltop colony, as the three of them walked across the lawn to the area with the beer benches and picnic tables. There was a long line in front of the large barbecue grill, where a sheep was rotating on a spit roast. They grabbed some plates and joined the people waiting for their turn to get dinner.

Lilly was watching their dinner revolving over the fire in fascination and made a mental note to ask Marv to build a spit roast. The smell that wafted over was mouth-watering and Lilly was ravenous by the time it was finally their turn to pile some meat and vegetables onto their plates. She sat down with Jesus and Negan and immediately attacked her food like a starving lion.

“Someone’s got their fucking appetite back.”

“Uhm phee ing muh berra!”

“I’m going to pretend that you said something nice about my dick.”

Jesus was looking a little uncomfortable. Lilly couldn’t blame him. He wasn’t used to Negan’s excessive dick talk.

“I said I’m feeling much better. I’ve been worrying so much these past couple of days, it’s like a weight lifted from my shoulders. Thank you so much, Jesus, for letting us see Dr. Carson and for being so nice and accommodating.”

“You’re very welcome. There are already enough enemies out there. Best not to turn away friends in need.”

Dr. Carson joined them and reminded Lilly to take her first pill with her dinner.

“Looks like you are pretty fucking comfortable here, though,” Negan said after making sure that Lilly had downed her antibiotics with some water, “We’ve barely seen any undead fucks on our way here and no fucking alarms or anything all day.”

Lilly had a feeling that she knew where Negan was going with this and she tried hard to keep her face neutral while chewing her potatoes.

“No, the area is pretty safe. We do get some stragglers from time to time, but the Saviors clear those out once a week. I’m sure it’s the same at the Kingdom.” Jesus explained.

“Oh yeah,” Negan grinned, “Same at the Kingdom. It’s a pretty fucking great arrangement for you guys, though, right? I mean, I noticed that you’re not exactly the gun-wielding type.” He motioned to the steel walls, where a couple of guards were standing with their spears.

“We don’t have many fighters, that’s true,” Dr. Carson said with a frown, “But taking half of our supplies for themselves after forcing their help on us? I don’t quite see how that is supposed to be good arrangement.”

Lilly could feel Negan tense up next to her. She was relieved when Jesus addressed her instead.

“Did they increase their demands for the Kingdom, too? It used to be one third and then they changed it to half a couple of months back.”

“I don’t know of any specifics, I’m just one of the kitchen workers,” Lilly lied, “But there are rumors, of course, that the Saviors want more supplies for their services. It was a hard winter.”

“That’s true, but it was a hard winter for all of us,” Dr. Carson said in an increasingly louder voice, waving around the fork in his hand, “They can’t just come here and demand stuff. We’ve got people to feed. We should do something about it.”

Negan opened his mouth and was just about ready to start argueing, when Lilly put her hand on his thigh under the table. The gesture apparently surprised him so much that he forgot about people threatening his Saviors.

“It does look like you’ve got plenty of food right now, though,” Lilly answered instead, “I’m sure if you ever have any trouble providing for your people, you could talk to them.”

“Have you ever met them?” Jesus asked and Lilly shook her head, “It’s true that we have plenty of food to spare at the moment, but one more hard winter and we’ll be in deep shit. And there’s no talking to those people. They just take what they want. It’s true that they kill the walkers for us, but I’m having a hard time accepting that it justifies the amount of food they take from us.”

“I guess you should start fucking practicing with those fucking sticks real quick then,” Negan remarked. Jesus and Dr. Carson nodded, apparently thinking he had meant that they would have to fight the undead on their own if they decided to cut ties with the Sanctuary. But Lilly knew her leader well enough to understand the double meaning of his words. The Saviors would not accept being denied their tribute without a fight.

“Good to see you! Are you having a nice dinner? Jesus, Harlan, all good down here?” They all looked up to a man smiling down at them with brilliantly white teeth, wearing a clean and pressed dress shirt and a suit coat. He started waving at some of the people eating at different tables, not really paying attention to the small group he had just addressed.

“Yes, Gregory, everything is in order. Go have some dinner,” Jesus answered. So this was the so far suspiciously absent leader of the Hilltop.

“Wonderful. I’m going to sit with Earl today. Gotta make sure our blacksmith is happy. See you around.”

“I highly doubt that Earl will be happy about Gregory joining him for dinner,” Dr. Carson quipped and he and Jesus chuckled.

“Why the fuck are you keeping that fucking idiot as a leader if you all think so fucking low of him? Why aren’t you taking over, for example?” Negan looked at Jesus.

“It’s not that he’s a bad leader. He’s charismatic. He inspires people. He just doesn’t like to get his hands dirty.”

“Well I think he’s a bit of an airhead. He didn’t even notice two strangers sitting right in front of him,” Lilly noted, “I know you’re a big community, but a real leader should at least know everyone’s face. Ezekiel knows everyone’s name at the Kingdom and even where they came from.” Lilly didn’t exactly know if that was really the case, but from what she had heard of the Kingdom’s eccentric leader, she figured that it might just as well be true. It was for Negan.

“I think we can all agree that King Ezekiel’s leading style is much different from Gregory’s,” Jesus laughed and they all joined in.

It was already dark by the time they had finished eating and talking. They all got up to bring their plates to the table where a couple of people were busy washing dishes. Gina came up to them and handed them two flashlights and Lilly thanked her again before saying goodnight to a yawning Dr. Carson. Jesus led them to one of the tents.

“This is one of the family tents. It can house six people. But we don’t need it at the moment and I figured you’d be more comfortable if you don’t have to sleep with your feet hanging out,” Jesus grinned up at Negan, “I also put some blankets in there. The nights can still be pretty cold.”

“Damn, you’re a fucking considerate bunch.”

“I hope you’ll tell your King about it. You know, in case we ever need his help.”

“Abso-fucking-lutely!”

Jesus showed them the way to the outhouse and told them good night, before disappearing into the big house in the middle of the compound. Lilly excused herself for a moment to go pee and brush her teeth.

When she got back and ducked into the tent, Negan had already set out the blankets and was lying with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. Lilly crawled up to sit next to him and took off her shirt, boots and jeans, only to then put her boots back on before she covered herself with one of the blankets.

“Seriously? You keep your fucking shoes on while sleeping?”

“Always. You can never be too careful.”

“Heh. It’s going to be a damn fucking awesome sight if you have to run somewhere in the middle of the night with your naked ass hanging out.”

“If I really have to run somewhere in the middle of the night, my naked ass will be the least of my concerns. And I’m going to be faster than you, because I already have my boots on.”

He laughed and turned to his side, propping his head up with one arm to face her.

“That was a really fucking interesting day.”

“Yeah. I still can’t get over the fact that they let us in just like that. I mean, I’m grateful. But it is a huge risk. And that Gregory person didn’t even notice us. I’d kick your giant ass if you ever did something like that.”

“You wouldn’t be at the Sanctuary if I was such a pathetic fucking excuse for leader.”

“That’s true. Or I might have taken over from you after all.”

He laughed and then studied her for a moment.

“So what’s a fucking… what was it called? Hystomy?”

“Hysterectomy. It means they removed my uterus and ovaries. It’s the usual course of action for this kind of cancer, especially for someone so young.”

“Oh…” He thought about that for while. “Does that mean I can finish inside of you and you won’t get pregnant?”

“Jesus fucking Christ Neg… Nathan!” Lilly exclaimed and turned away from him, pulling the blanket up to her nose.

“What? I was just trying to lighten the fucking mood a little.”

“My mood was perfectly fucking fine you big oaf. God, you’re an insensitive fucker sometimes.”

“Aww, I’m sorry babe.” He sounded genuine. She turned to lie on her back and looked up at him. “Is that the reason you have a fucking problem with putting down kids?”

“Yeah. Well, part of it. It’s also why I snapped at Seth when he asked me if I’m on the rag.”

“Most chicks I’ve met always complained about their fucking periods. Like they’d be happy not to deal with this shit anymore.”

“Until it’s taken away from them by force.”

“Huh, yeah. Guess that makes fucking sense.” He looked like he was pondering over something again. As if he wasn’t sure how much he could ask her. But Lilly had already told him so much about herself, she thought she might just as well continue the trend, so she smiled up at him to show him that the topic wasn’t too uncomfortable for her. “Did you want to have kids? Before you got sick?”

“Yeah, I mean… I guess I wanted to at least have the option, you know? I actually didn’t think too much about it after I had the surgery.” Lilly remembered how her life fell apart. She had repressed these memories quite successfully for a very long time and now it all came rushing back to her. Her face darkened and Negan noticed immediately.

“Hey, we don’t have to talk about this shit…”

“No, it’s okay. I mean, it wasn’t my fault, right? I’ve never been seriously sick until then. I exercised a lot. I had a bit of an unhealthy obsession with pizza and I liked to have a glass of wine here and there, but still…”

“Of course it wasn’t your fucking fault. Cancer is a fucking bitch that can go fuck right off and fuck itself in the ass,” Negan declared rather passionately, but Lilly barely registered what he was saying.

“Tell that to my fiancé.”

“You were engaged?”

“Yeah. Emphasis on were.”

“Are you fucking telling me that fucker left you when you got sick?”

“Some time after my surgery.” Lilly sighed and put her hands behind her head. Now that she had started telling Negan about that time in her life, it just kept pouring out if her. “We met in college, moved in together. The relationship soon went downhill. I suppose that’s why he proposed. To mend things. I studied a lot, since I was close to graduating and I also worked as a teaching assistant for one of my professors. Brian always complained about me never being home. I really tried to make time for him, but whenever I wanted to spend an evening or like a Sunday with him, he’d just play video games all day.”

“What a fucking tool.”

“Yeah. Not a very nice guy, in retrospect. When I got the diagnosis I was so scared. But he acted like it was super inconvenient for him. He only visited me once in the hospital.” Lilly glanced at Negan who looked like he was about to punch something. She hadn’t even gotten to the really crappy part yet. “I got home and he was so distant, always going out with friends. So, when I felt better, I decided to fly to Michigan and spend some time with my family. I had hoped that a little distance would put things into perspective for him. That he would be happy when I got home healthy. I mean, some people just can’t deal with seeing their loved ones sick, right? But when I got back after three weeks, he welcomed me home together with his new girlfriend and all my stuff packed into garbage bags sitting in the hallway.”

“You gotta be fucking shitting me.”

“Those were my exact words when I opened our door, funnily enough. He told me in no uncertain terms that it was over. And because I’m pathetic I asked him why. So he explained that he had been unhappy for a long time and that the cancer had just been the icing on the shit-cake. That he couldn’t possibly marry me anymore now that I couldn’t have kids. That he had found Brittany, or Nancy, or whatever the fuck her name was and she made him happy. And that she wasn’t broken, like me.”

Lilly’s voice finally broke and she stopped talking so as not to burst into tears. No matter how often she tried to convince herself that she was over the whole thing, it still hurt to think and talk about it.

“Please tell me that motherfucker is fucking dead, so I don’t have to go search for him and make him meet Lucille.”

She released a shaky laugh. “I don’t know. He wasn’t exactly the survivor type. Though he would have told you otherwise of course. Besides, breaking up with someone isn’t exactly punishable by death. Even nowadays.”

“Well it fucking is to me. Fucking weak-ass motherfucker. A real man stays by his woman no matter fucking what. In sickness and in fucking health, right?”

“I guess I’m lucky I never married him, then.”

Negan kept grumbling, but Lilly was lost in thoughts.

“You know you’re not broken, though, right? Pretty fucking far from it. You’re a badass tough fucking bitch and this time I mean that as a fucking compliment.”

Lilly smiled up to the ceiling and pulled up her blanket again. She was shivering, both from the cold and from getting riled up talking about her past. She heard rustling beside her and then Negan draped his leather jacket over her.

“Thanks. Now you’re cold, though.”

“Nah, I’m good. Just don’t drool on it too much. Do you think you’ll be able to sleep?”

“Probably not.”

“Hmph. Well, you know where my dick is in case you get bored. Night Lil, I mean, Elizabeth.”

“Good night Negan.” Lilly whispered and rolled away from him. The scent from his jacket filled her nose. Leather and woodsmoke and Negan. She smiled to herself with a small sigh and tried to relax. It would be a long night. Maybe she could wander around a little with the flashlight. Although, on the other hand, that probably wasn’t such a good idea, she thought as her eyes grew heavy.

When she woke up again, it was with a small gasp before the brief feeling of disorientation passed. The sun shone brightly outside their tent. A rooster called in the distance and sleepy voices seemed to surround them. Lilly stared at the pale blue canvas of the tent wall across from her. Something heavy lay across her waist and when she looked down she saw that it was Negan’s arm. She weaved her fingers through his and sighed contently.

After a couple of moments, Lilly felt movement behind her and she tried to disentangle her hand. Negan seemed to have other plans, though. His fingers closed around hers and he hooked his arm tighter around her waist, pulling her to him until her back was flush with his chest. Heat rose in Lilly’s cheeks and goosebumps appeared all over her arms, when she felt Negan burying his nose in her hair. He inhaled and sighed.

None of them spoke. She didn’t know whether she should wish for it to stay that way, or if one of them should break the tension and the embrace before they did something one of them, or both, would regret later.

Apparently, Negan wasn’t plagued by the same doubts as Lilly. When she felt his nose and his mouth ghosting over the skin on her shoulder, her mind went blank and she lost herself in the sensation of his soft caresses.

His lips wandered over her shoulder and to her neck and she turned her head a little to give him better access. His hot and heavy breath fluttered over her skin and he stroked his hand up and down her arm. After a while, he slipped his hand under the tank top and gently grabbed her waist. Her breath hitched.

He squeezed a little and she put her own arm behind her head and into his hair and tugged to pull his face even closer. It was all the encouragement he needed to become bolder. His mouth latched onto the crook of her neck and her soft moan was followed by one of his own when she arched her back and her behind connected with his groin. The evidence of his arousal was now rubbing shamelessly against her. Both their breathing had become loud and erratic. Lilly could feel the wetness between her legs and her rapid heartbeat in her chest and his tongue and mouth and hand and it wasn’t enough. She covered his hand with her own and guided it further up until his fingers were splayed over her ribs, just underneath her breast. He rolled his hips, his hard dick grinding against her ass and Lilly wanted him so much in this moment, she felt like she was about to explode.

She started turning around to face him, when a voice called out outside their tent.

“Hello? Nathan? Elizabeth? Are you awake?”

It was Jesus. Negan let go of her and cursed loudly. Lilly scrambled out from under her blanket, took two steadying breaths and unzipped the tent. Jesus was crouching right in front of the tent’s entrance, smiling just as brightly as the sun that was shining over one side of the wall.

“Good morning! Did you have a good night?”

“We fucking had until you showed up,” Negan called out from behind Lilly.

“I’m sorry for my husband’s rudeness,” Lilly apologized to an amused Jesus, “He’s not a morning person. We both slept really well, thank you Jesus.”

“Good. Great. Uhm… I’m afraid I have bad news.”

Negan’s head popped up next to her so fast, Lilly wondered how a man his size could move with that much speed.

“Bad news? What do you fucking mean?” Negan demanded. Jesus looked incredibly uncomfortable.

“Apparently, word got to Gregory that we have two visitors, taking advantage of our doctor, asking for medication…”

“But, Dr. Carson gave those pills to me…,” Lilly protested.

“I know. It’s all just Chinese whispers. But once Gregory has his mind set on something, there’s no way to convince him otherwise. He wants you two gone immediately. I’m sorry guys.”

“Oh, so now your fearsome fucking leader suddenly does some fucking leading? And he doesn’t even have the fucking balls to come and try comparing dick sizes with me? Fucking asshole.” Negan was annoyed and Lilly couldn’t blame him. Apart from getting cock-blocked first thing in the morning, they now had to pack up all their shit and leave much earlier than they had anticipated.

“I really am sorry. This is my fault. I should have told him about you two from the start.”

“No, it’s alright,” Lilly reassured him, “I doubt that it would have made much of a difference. There was a reason you didn’t tell him, after all. You’ve been very kind to us Jesus. We’re grateful. We’re going to pack up and then meet you at the gate in a couple of minutes.”

They gathered their stuff -Lilly in silence and Negan grumbling about “weak-ass fucking leaders”- and then walked to the open gate of the Hilltop where they were met by Jesus and a disheveled looking Dr. Carson. They got their weapons back and shook hands with their hosts. Lilly thanked both men once again for their hospitality.

“Again, I’m sorry. It was nice having you guys here. Next time I’m at the Kingdom, I’ll make sure to come visit you two.”

“Please do. We had a great time here and I'd be happy to see you again. You, too, Dr. Carson,” Lilly smiled and she finally felt bad about deceiving these people. They had been exceptionally nice to her and Negan and if the circumstances were different, she really would have liked to meet them again.

Lilly and Negan walked down to their car and hopped in. They both waved to Jesus and Dr. Carson one last time while Negan turned the car around. Once they were behind the first bend that took them out of sight of the Hilltop, Negan stopped the car again. Lilly looked questioningly at him, but he was busy rummaging behind his seat, until he came back with Lucille. He looked lovingly at his bat, taking in every grain of wood and every spike on her barbed wire. He put his lips to her smooth handle very quick and then put her back on top of the blanket in the backseat.

Lilly chuckled and Negan grinned while he put the car back in drive and finally went back on the road to Sanctuary.

“Just making sure my lady is A-O-fucking-K. She fucking hates being separated from me that long.”

“Uh-huh. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re trying to make me jealous.”

Negan smirked at her and put his hand on Lilly’s thigh. It was like a bolt of lightning had shot through her body. How could he send her into a spiral of lust so easily? She felt hot and needy and told herself to get a hold of herself.

“And why would I possibly feel the fucking need to make you jealous after what happened this morning?”

“You’re right. I think we’ve moved past that.”

“How about we move even further?”

“What, right now? Oh no. No no no no. I won’t have sex with you in a car.”

“Why the fuck not? You were going to have sex with me in a fucking tent half an hour ago.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. The point is, the car is small and you’re not. Hell, I’m not exactly petite either. And when we fuck for the first time, I don’t want a gearshift poking me in the ass.”

“You can’t possibly fucking imagine how goddamn ecstatic I am that this whole scenario went from ‘if’ to ‘when’.”

Lilly grinned up at him and put her hand over his. They drove in comfortable silence for a while, which gave her ample opportunity to think about what had happened in the past twenty-four hours.

The friendliness of the Hilltop people and Dr. Carson’s diagnosis that she would be fine had lifted her spirits to a whole different level. Had that been the reason that she had given herself to Negan without so much as a second thought? She knew without a doubt that she would have gone all the way with him if they hadn’t been interrupted. Had she just been riding the high from a successful day away from home?

Not entirely, of course. Over the past seven months at Sanctuary, she and Negan had developed a close friendship. She had liked him from the very beginning and she had missed him when they hadn’t talked. He had flirted with her incessantly and if she was being honest with herself, she had always felt flattered about it. And yes, of course he was tall and strong and fuck, he was good-looking. She had thought back a lot to their very first encounter and how they had ended up in bed together. The memories of his lips on her skin and his moans in her ear had given her many spectacular releases during those long and dark nights alone in her bedroom at Sanctuary.

Lilly turned her head to look out of the window and smiled while she thought about touching herself to the thought of her leader underneath her. She bet he would love to hear about her fantasizing about him. She could feel the heat and wetness between her thighs again, but she tried to ignore the more physical reactions to their little tryst in the tent. She needed to focus right now.

There was one thing worrying her, of course. His wives. She didn’t want to be just a tally mark on his bedpost. But she didn’t know if the alternative was even possible with Negan. She knew he liked her and she definitely liked him, more than liked him, even. But she couldn’t possibly ask him to give up his entire lifestyle, weird as it might be, and demand he pursue a relationship with her. On the other hand, she didn’t want to fuck him once or twice in secret, just to have him tell her that they had to stop, or worse, that he was bored with her.

She sighed. She had successfully managed to darken her thoughts by overthinking stuff once again.

“Something wrong, babe?”

“No, I’m okay.”

“You know, I am pretty fucking good at reading people. And even though you are a damn fucking hard nut to crack sometimes, right now I know you’re lying.”

“Okay, I suppose it was kinda obvious. I’m just thinking about everything that’s happened lately.”

“Hey, you’re healthy. Or will be soon enough. We’re talking again, we had a day off, got some awesome fucking food, and I got to rub my boner all over your ass. So why the long face?”

“I’m not sure the boner-rubbing was such a good idea…”

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? I finally got in close fucking proximity to the inside of your fucking pants again and now you want to chicken out?”

“Is that it, Negan? You just want to get inside my pants?” Lilly didn’t know where her anger was coming from, but she was one wrong word from Negan away from ripping his head off.

“Right now? Fuck yeah! You want me to spew some bullshit about you and me riding into the fucking sunset together? You know me way better than that, Lil. You know I… I fucking like you, okay? You make me feel good. But right now, in this moment, all I want is to stick my penis into your vagina and not worry about what might happen afterwards.”

Lilly’s first reaction to his words was anger again, but she forced herself to calm down and read between the lines.

“I make you feel good?”

“Of fucking course you do. I told you, you’re the only person in the entire fucking Sanctuary that never asks for anything in return for their work. Or for being nice to me. Everyone else is always ‘Negan, I need some fucking Egyptian horse milk soap’, ‘Negan, I need my Vicodin’, ‘Negan, I want a bigger room, ‘Negan, I won’t suck your dick unless you find me a fucking diamond necklace’. What the fuck does anyone need a fucking diamond necklace for in the fucking apocalypse?”

“Cutting tool?”

“See?” He laughed, “That’s another thing. You’re funny. And apparently, for reasons I have yet to discover, you find me fucking funny. Do you know how long it’s been that I had a fucking conversation with someone that didn’t involve them rolling their eyes at me before you came along?”

“How long?”

“One year, five months, three days and about seven hours.”

Lilly went quiet and put her hand on his forearm as gently as possible so as not to startle him. Negan stopped the car in the middle of the road and hung his head. They were only about a mile away from Sanctuary. Lilly could see the imposing tower with the three chimneys on top at the end of the road.

“What was that conversation about? The last you had without them rolling their eyes?”

“I told her to keep fucking fighting and she told me not to make her suffer. To turn off the machines when it would become clear that there wasn’t anything the doctors could do for her. It wasn’t the last time I talked to her, but it was the last fucking time she could answer before they stuck a fucking tube down her throat.”

Negan was gripping the steering wheel as if his life depended on it. He was crying. And then it hit Lilly like a sack of bricks.

Cancer is a fucking bitch that can go fuck right off and fuck itself in the ass.

Just making sure my lady is A-O-fucking-K.

“Lucille…”

“You know what the really fucked-up part is? I couldn't fucking do it. I promised her she wouldn't suffer, but when the doctors told me, time and time again, that she wouldn't wake up again, I couldn't fucking do it. I let her suffer, because otherwise I would have suffered. And I keep thinking, maybe if I had done as I had fucking promised, maybe she wouldn't have turned. Maybe she could have just died peacefully, without coming back as this… this fucking thing. I was such a fucking coward. I couldn't even bring myself to put her down myself. I made some fucking kid do it for me.”

He was full on sobbing now and all Lilly could do was unbuckle her seat belt, wrap her arms around his bicep and lay her head on his shoulder. He cried into her hair and she whispered “I'm so sorry” over and over again.

After a while, Negan wiped a hand over his face and cleared his throat before he gently cupped her cheek, making Lilly look up at him.

“And now I've built all of this,” he said, much calmer this time, and nodded in the direction of the Sanctuary, “The Saviors, the wives, the other communities. My magnum fucking opus. Doing everything I can to make damn fucking sure I never give that much of a shit about anyone ever again,” he mused and then smiled down at her while stroking his thumb over her cheekbone, “And then you just prance into my fucking life and now riding into the fucking sunset seems like a real fucking nice option.”

Lilly smiled back him. Somehow his face had gotten so close to hers that she could have counted his eyelashes if she wanted to. He tilted his head a little to one side and she did the same to the other. He opened his lips and closed his eyes and so did she. She could feel his breath on her face, as shaky as hers. Their noses touched.

THUD!

They both jumped, nearly headbutting each other. Lilly looked around in panic until she saw the source of the noise. A walker was sprawled over the hood of the car, rotting hands reaching for them on the other side of the windshield. Two more came out from between the trees to their left, heading in their direction. Lilly and Negan both muttered some curses under their breath and Lilly scrambled for Lucille in the back and handed her to Negan before opening her door and stepping out of the car. She decided against taking her bow. It wouldn't have been of any use in this situation anyway, with the walkers being so close already.

Lilly took out her machete instead and went for the first walker while Negan was still busy unfolding his large frame from out of the car. The snarling monster had made its way around the front. Lilly opened her door all the way to use it as a barrier between her and the undead. She took a quick look around to make sure that there weren't any more of them waiting for their chance to have her and Negan for breakfast. Then she grabbed the door and pulled it almost all the way shut. The walker lost its balanced and Lilly sunk her machete into its decomposing skull.

It fell to the ground and she looked up to see how Negan was doing. He was holding Lucille over his head and then brought her down on the walker in front of him. The other one grabbed his arm as the first one fell and Lilly's heart stopped for a moment. But Negan kicked his attacker, it stumbled backwards and then its brain exploded with one mighty swing of Negan's bat.

Negan looked around for her, his expression fearful and she ran over to him.

“Are you okay? Still in one fucking piece?”

“Yeah. For a moment there I thought they got you.”

“Takes more than two of those fuckers to bring me down,” he grinned. Lilly really hoped his cocky attitude would not get him killed one day.

While they were trying to catch their breaths, Lilly suddenly heard the sound of motorcycles in the distance. She looked down the road that led to the Sanctuary and saw three people approaching on bikes.

“Here comes the fucking cavalry.”

It was Dwight, Jax and Connor.

“We saw your car coming down the road and then you stopped and those fuckers came out of the woods. Are you alright?” Dwight asked after kicking down his side stand and getting off his bike.

“Yeah, we’re good. Just had to take care of those things. Don’t want them to get too close to Sanctuary,” Lilly explained.

Jax walked up to her beaming and pulled her into a tight hug. Lilly looked over his shoulder to Negan, who seemed none too pleased about Jax’s public display of affection.

“Are you okay? What did the Hilltop doctor say?”

“I’m fine. It’s a kidney infection. Couple of days on antibiotics and I’ll be good as new.”

“Ugh, thank God. I mean, a kidney infection sucks and all, but, you know…” Jax’s eyes suddenly grew wide and he stared at her neck and whispered, ”Is that a hickey?”

“Can we pack the fuck up and move this riveting fucking conversation to the other side of the fence? I don’t want another one of those things to try and take a fucking bite out of me,” Negan snapped at them. He was right, though. It was a bad idea to stay out in the open like that.

Lilly and Negan got back into the car and drove the rest of the way home with Dwight, Jax and Connor right behind them. Negan was unusually quiet and Lilly wondered what was bothering him, but when he finally parked the car in the Sanctuary’s yard, he quickly squeezed her hand before opening his door and climbing out. She smiled to herself. They would have plenty of time to talk about what had happened between them, once they had made sure that everything at Sanctuary was in order.

After taking their backpacks and weapons from the backseat, they made their way to the front door, with their welcoming squad around them asking them questions about their trip.

They walked over the metal runway and down to the Sanctuary’s cafeteria, laughing after Negan had told them in his own unique way about the Hilltop’s leader and his incompetence. Negan and Lilly grinned at each other and the butterflies in Lilly’s stomach had just started to lift off, when there was a loud squeal, followed by several excited female voices. Suddenly, Negan was half hidden behind an assortment of naked body parts and mops of hair.

“Welcome back big boy!”

“What took you so long?”

“What did you get us, Negan?”

Enter the wives. Lilly’s heart sank and her face fell. The sudden realization of who she got involved with almost made her throw up. This was the life he had chosen. His magnum opus. She had been stupid to forget about all this because of a day off on some little adventure and him waxing poetic about sunsets. Five women. Five women he shared his life with. Five women that were giving him everything he needed. How could she possibly compete against that?

Her eyes found Negan’s and, to his credit, he looked stricken. She smiled sadly at him, but before he could say something, she turned around to Jax, told him she was tired and then disappeared into the Tower and to her room as fast as she could.

When the expected pounding on her door began a couple of minutes later, she pulled her pillow over her ears and continued crying into the sheets.

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thatsbrookie · 7 years

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Nov 13 - STRESS

This weekend was such a roller coaster.. I'm just sitting here thinking about all the events and I was like "MAN, I wanna write bout these events" So, here we go. Saturday was good. Except not really. Let me tell you some backstory.. (I had to Google to see if 'backstory' is one word) About 2 weeks ago, Greg and I were hanging out and he said he heard about some anime convention going on at the civic center on Saturday the 11th. He said he really wanted to go, and even though I am only mildly into anime I was on board. I like to support Greg's nerdiness. The next day, I went to work and told Morgan about it. She said she hasn't heard of it but looked into it, got hella excited and told Andrew that the four of us are going together. Side note: Morgan is really into anime. And she always says I am the one who got her into anime. (Ironic because I'm only mildly into it, as mentioned before) About a year ago we were talking about our favorite television shows and I found out she's never seen Death Note (One of my favs) So I demanded her to watch it. She loved it and she started watching more and more anime. Now a huge fan. From there, Morgan talked to Matthew about it (her brother) and he really wanted to go too. Matthew invited his best friend Molly to come too. So all 6 of us were planning to go and nerd out. Also, a couple days before I told Josh about it (Cause I know he'd be interested in it) and he said he was planning on going. Cool! So I'm excited. Then Friday, the day before, Greg comes over to my place to hang out. I'm cooking us dinner and he gets a call that some meetings got switched around and that he's going to have to be in his Pine Bluff territory for the majority of Saturday. He was pretty bummed about it.. Especially since it was his idea to go to the convention in the first place.. But I was like really upset. I don't know why I got so upset about it. Not at him, just the situation. And this has happened before. On multiple occasions Greg has had to cancel plans because of work, or even get called out to work in the middle of our evening together. It sucks, but it's apart of his job that he's on call a large majority of the time. I'm not sure what it was about this time that was especially upsetting to me. Maybe because I was looking forward to it so much.. So, the next day, Morgan, Andrew, Matthew, Molly and I all go to the convention. It was pretty fun. I tried to take as many pictures as possible to show Greg. I missed him. Then we went to go have lunch at Chick-fil-la. That night I was just hanging around the house with the pups and decided to try some of the wine I recently ordered. There's this site called Winc where you can order quality wine for good discount prices and have it delivered to your home. I had always thought about trying it out, but was always skeptical. Well, after months of being skeptical, I finally ordered some. I posted a picture of them a couple days. Super cute bottles. Well, one glass turned into two. Two into four.. Four into eight.. Next thing I know, I'm waking up Sunday morning on my mother's couch.. What the fuck. How did I get here? I walk home and I am SICK. So I spend the majority of Sunday wishing to die and recovered from one of the worst wine hangovers of my life. That night I went to Greg's house. I don't know why, but I was super emotional. I started crying and Greg, bless his heart, was trying so hard to be supportive even though neither of us knew what was wrong with me. He was trying to lighten the mood and cheer me up by making a "joke" but it wasn't funny. Very insensitive, in my opinion. So, we got into a fight and I left. Greg and I very rarely fight, so I was double upset. It's now Monday morning, I'm here at work and I feel like shit. My body is still pretty pissed at me because of all the wine and I barely slept last night. I was just so restless because of the unresolved Greg conflict. My mind was racing last night with all sorts of anxiety. Like how Christmas is 6 weeks away and I have done ZERO gift shopping. I don't even have money saved up to buy Christmas gifts. And Mom's birthday is 2 weeks away, I have nothing planned for that.. Speaking of mom, I can't remember how I ended up at her house on Saturday and I feel like I should be really embarrassed of myself.. Who knows what I said or did. God. Also, Greg and I have our New Years trip to Michigan. Every New Years Ryan and Gabby have a 3 day long celebration at their house. Greg always goes, and I'm invited to go this year. After looking at flight prices (CRAZY expensive) we decided to drive. We drove to Michigan before (for Ryan and Gabby's wedding), so we can do it again. We're planning on leaving on the 27th or 28th of December and coming back on the 2nd on January. I gotta start saving up money for that. Plus, I am going to have to have the pups boarded during that time, which is going to be pretty expensive. Ugh. I just get so stressed out with all this money shit. I was kind of thinking about taking off work on Thursday, the 16th. Because that's Brady's birthday. That's always the hardest day of the year for me. I feel like most people who have experienced death of a loved one think the anniversary of the death is the worst. I think the birthday is the worst, though. But after thinking about all this financial stress, I really need to work at much as I can.. I dunno. I haven't had a day off in a while.. I'll think about it Speaking of work. A couple days ago, big news has developed. Celita is pregnant! And it's not necessarily a good thing. Celita has been in a FWB relationship with this guy named David for a pretty long while. And apparently David is NOT happy about the idea of being a father. He is 25, in college and working full time. He says he doesn't have time to be a father and has been saying all sorts of nasty things to Celita, encouraging her to get an abortion and swearing the baby isn't his. Meanwhile, Celita is really trying not to let his cruel words get to her.. She has made up her mind to keep the baby. This will be her 4th child, she's 36, and she's dealing with it all really well. I feel really bad for her though.. She's told me some of the stuff David has been saying to her.. I can't imagine. She's really strong. I admire her For about 2 weeks now, yes, 2 WEEKS our work bathrooms have been out of order. The last week of October the sinks stopped draining and one day the toilets just started overflowing. It was terrible. Someone called building management, they came over and did something and we thought it was fixed. Next day, same problem. They came again, it was fine for a couple hours, then overflowed again. So we called professional plumber people, they came and did something. It was okay for about a day and half, but then all the toilets started overflowing again. And it's just been back and forth, back and forth.. I don't what the fucking issue is, but I'm getting fucking tired of it. Because I normally drink about 3 liters of water a day, so bathrooms are pretty important to me. We've been having to walk across the street to the Vantage tower whenever we need the bathroom. And it's really annoying, especially when it's raining. This whole text post has just turned into me bitching about life stress. I'm sorry, I'm just not in a good mood. At all. However, writing all this out has made me feel a little better Well, it's about to be lunch time. And before I go to lunch, I have a couple work things I absolutely have to do. So, I'm going to end this now. Goodbye Tumblr

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