#idk why it took so long to make them

[toobittoquit]

Chaos! Chaos!

#idk why it took so long to make them #jevil #deltarune #undertale #pixelart #perler #perler beads #gaming #artkal #etsy #art #fuse beads

[bittwitchy]

Joker (2019)

#jphoenixedit #joaquinphoenixedit #joaquin phoenix #joaquinpedit #filmedit #please don't claim as your own/edit in any way. thank you. #dcedit #dcmultiverse #comicsedit #moviegifs #joker #jokeredit #usermarina #yknow what. the quality was higher before i uploaded them to tumblr. but given how zoomed i am and how long it took #to figure out how mpv worked so i could cap on it #bc vlc cant handle 2160p videos that arent fn/af apparently #we're gonna be fine w it #why fna/f in 2160p works but NO other film does??? idk. ig bc fnaf isnt 10p whatever tf that means #will vlc ever update to make 2160p in other films work??? idk. hopefully bc i dont wanna learn new things #mine.

[dennisboobs]

.

#the reason cisswap lesbian macden does nothing for me is bc i get my dose of lesbianism from canon charden <3 #i say it (jokingly) all the time but i think if the sunny fandom was more open to charden y'all would have more fun #everything ppl do with macden to make it ~more fun~ is literally. already there with charden #macden is a lot of fun in its own way but if i want butch/femme lesbians i have charden already-- #this is literally why i ship both. if i want to fuck around with gender i can throw charden together #if i want to fuck around with weird codependent loser roommates i can throw macden together #they have different dynamics and both bring different shit to the table #also idk such a massive part of dennis is his (often unapologetic but still stifled) more 'feminine' gender expression #so making him a cis woman who likes being feminine is like. yea. that sure is. cis woman dennis. #as someone who has an extremely complicated history w expressing femininity or anything that is even seen as being remotely femme #it doesn't grab me #the genderfuckery is not there #but TRANSBIAN CHARDEN???? YEAAAAAH #i think mac being so focused on upholding traditional mascilinity IS a very interesting dynamic to have next to. you know. dennis. #wheras charlie could not give less of a fuck #i think gender exploration with macden would take a completely different form but still be extremely interesting for both of them #but there's a lot less initial acceptance and a lot more hiding on den's part #especially if the two are in a relationship #because mac coming to terms with being gay took so long so dennis being at all feminine or even transfem is like #mac needs to do. more introspection #which is an entirely different set of issues to charden gender exploration where like #charlie being nonconforming. not shaving. not caring abt using she/her pronouns. being nontraditional in every way and not giving a fuck #would be absolutely fucking absurd to dennis who is very conformist after she comes out #and would probably be content to conform to whats expected of her as a woman with mac IF she did manage to come out at all #bc dennis would have to actually manage to come out. instead of hiding the fact she's trans > looking at carmen and the way mac treated her #i think both paths have additional challenges and that's. you know. whats interesting. #is cisswap den butchy? does she hide her masculine interests? is denise transmasc...?? #cisswap mac being butch is like. you know. nonconforming so it doesn't quite do the same thing as canon mac either #mac being Traditional and catholic and having to push past homophobia (internalized and externalized) to be himself is. pretty huge #would cisswap mac be a tradwife. like. thats sort of the equivalent

[mtt-burger-emporium]

thinking about chara and the implications of the line "chara hated humanity. why, they never said..." like ok i KNOW something was happening at home. chara baby you didn't deserve that shit i'm so glad you fell down a thousand feet in a cave hole and right into the arms of people who would keep you fed roof over your head and would never raise their hand against you. "eradicate humanity" you're 10 years old how about eradicating your shitfucked surface fam by calling cps first

#soda.txt #chara #(ok idk if this will work but LEEEENGTHY discussion of child abuse below) #ok listen hear me out on this- i know the initial interpretation is a sui attempt WHICH I ALSO AGREE WITH- BUT LISTEN #i believe there was something else going on leading to the whole ''eradicate humanity'' bit and the obvious answer is an unsafe homelife #well. at least for me. #being around people (or perhaps adults) who hurt you and make you feel unsafe in a place where you should be welcomed with open arms and- #a promise of care would probably make any child feel like all of humanity was (in simple terms) cruel and uncaring #so hearing about somewhere they could GET AWAY FROM THAT? of course they'd take that opportunity and run. #chara was just lucky enough to fall into a place that pulled them out of the ideology of ''all of humanity is cruel'' #because the dreemurrs were kind and patient enough to take them in and give them a new family #and wouldn't anyone want that? #for the part of The Plan (the buttercups) i think.. i think that one was formed by the idea that chara felt obligated to- #pay the dreemurrs back for their kindness. not that the dreemurrs would have made them. just by their own mental code. #what better way to pay a kind family back- one that took you in and cared for you like one of their own- then by forming a plan to- #set their people free? #they've been stuck down there for so long. they've wanted to feel the sun for SO LONG. why not give yourself up to grant that dream? #idk if these thoughts are coherent. LOL sorry i kinda just started saying words huh #but its ok. #feel free to ask me questions ab my interp of chara btw teehee ^_^ i love talking about chara they're my favorite theyre so silly #ok now for the proper tags on this bitch #chara undertale #chara dreemurr #child abuse mention #suicide mention #tw child abuse #safeutdr #OH ANALYSIS TAG UHHH UMM #🧪lab notes

[anotherpapercut]

working with children really will make you examine your thought processes and emotional reactions like nothing else. I've found myself being so much more thoughtful in my daily life about how I respond to my emotions and environment, as well as the reasoning behind why others behave the way they do

#yesterday i got really frustrated and overwhelmed at one point because this one little girl keeps getting really upset when she cant help me #like shell ask to help and i wont have a task (or ive run out bc shes already helped) shes capable of so i tell her that #and thank her for being thoughtful and helpful. admittedly the first time this happened i was really frustrated w her already #bc she had made a huge mess doing something i told her not to do and then didnt want to clean it up and she only came back #and asked to help because her friend had been helping me. so i was like girl. you didnt even clean up the last mess #but i also had nothing for her to do. anyway she started screaming and hid under a table so then her friend did it sith her just. because. #idk kids will see their friend freaking out and they do it too. and i understand it but my god. i dont deal well with really loud noise #and she did it again yesterday. i let her help me and then i ran out of tasks and she started crying and saying i never let her help #and for some reason there were like 6 other kids in there all wanting to help so then several of them started freaking out #and i could not handle it. i literally told my coworker like im about to cry right now lmao #and later the little girl was like wanting to hug me and talk to me and acting like nothing happened and i found myself wanting to withdraw #like i was feeling like i wanted to avoid her and not speak to her or be cold but i also knew i didnt want to treat her that way #and i took a couple minutes by myself and thought about why i felt that way‚ what the effects of that would be‚ and how the kid felt #and i really just had to remind myself that she was feeling just as many emotions as i was but that shes only had 6 years #to learn how to manage them and deal with them in a productive way. she wasnt trying to upset me. she wasnt trying to make me mad #she was just dealing with her emotions in the only way she knew how. and im an adult and if she can get over it i really need to get over it #long ass tag story sorry

[hdmiports]

GUYS 🤭 they’re mawwied 😚👉👈

#🔅 #I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM #i missed making fat sims idk why it took me so long to redownload my presets and shit

[synthshenanigans]

Ive remade my designs for HMSW! Ive had these brewing since early-mid may so im happy to finally be done with them lol. Mind Soul and Whole will come out eventually as well (hopefully) (also maybe less human looking designs at some point)

Heart Redesign!

Headcanons + Stims below!

(Btw, the stims I put are ones I think that fit, but are also ones that I have since I know those the best. But I'd be happy to hear any other ideas!)

Stims/Habits:

• Arm and Wing Flaps

• Has a chewy biting necklace (in the shape of a Heart or Moon)

• Bites fingers/skin

• Tapping on arm (heartbeart rhythm of course)

• Twirling and playing with hair

• Makes that lil noise at the end of The Whole World and You

• Fidgets with his hoodie strings, the beads on the strings and lose threads on his clothes and scarf

Headcanons:

• Also uses the name Juno

• He/They (I don't know many neopronouns, but i feel like Heart would use moon based ones and maybe flower or petal based ones?)

• Are the marks on their chest cool marks, normal scars or trans scars? Sure! I flip between which I believe but I think all are interesting

• Deer tail and ears are very expressive! Tail wags like a dog when excited

• Is very warm and likes to be warm. Wears hoodies and scarfs to be toasty

• Fear of Thunder and loud noises

• Has sewn in hearts on his hoodie sleeves

• Likes taking care of small plants, mainly succulents or any hanging plants

• Uses the lil emotes. Like :) :D and :> or the more detailed bigger ones like ´･ᴗ･` ￣^￣ and (づ￣ ³￣)づ

• Only one that can play the saxophone in the trio (THA is the only song with an actual sax in it so I think it makes sense)

• While Heartaches are his main pains, they also have shoulder and back pains

• Also has sometimes gets really tense and shakey. (made a fic talking bout this if your curious)

• Loose and soft movements. Only really moves fast when angry (arguments and fights with Mind)

• Much more aggressive than Mind. While Mind never strikes first, Heart still has some marks (mainly bruises) from him

• Very touchy and affectionate. Sometimes just randomly hugs Soul or Mind

• When sitting next to one of them, enjoys/feels calmer when touching them. Like leg lightly touching or holding onto their arms or hands. Just likes being near another person

• Likes Pokemon and life sim games (stardew, animal crossing, sims etc.)

• Hates being alone and in the quiet. Even when angry at Mind, they still prefer to stay in the room with him.

•Hair can change looks based on emotion!

-Sad: Goopy & Drippy

-Angry: Flame like (oddly feels cold)

-Happy: Poofy and Cloud like

-Fearful/Startled: Spikey and Sharp (when jumpscared/startled, small pieces can shoot out like a porcupine)

-Affectionate/Calm: More curly and poofy.

#this took so long idk why #just took forever to make a design im confident with #Also plan on making more creature like designs for HMS as well! #just don't expect them to come out soon #Mind Soul and Whole should come out soon #i hope so at least #this took so long i hope it doesn't get buried #chonny jash #chonnys charming chaos compendium #cj heart #cccc

[waterfallofspace]

Little mostly positive waterfall ramble/rant under the cut~ (warning, I do swear a lil haha~ and feel free to ignore ofc!~)

Finally got the dumb panic-induced false confidence nerve to tell one of my only two in-person (well, one province over, but USED to be in person till earlier this year) friends about The Kink. I've told a handful of internet friends before, but never an actual real life friend I might have to see in person one day.

He actually took it really well, my other irl friend (of 15 years, his girlfriend, known him only about 3-4) would not want to know, we just don't have that type of relationship, she doesn't have that comfort level, but me and him have always been able to have deep and honest talks~

I was. Honestly scared out of my fucking mind. We were in call, but I typed the messsage and then IMMEDIATELY deafened until he read it, but once I got back we had a good talk, he asked a few questions, we made a few jokes, and overall the mood didn't change at all.

I'm honestly always so worried people will think I'm getting off to them sn--zing every time... or anyone else who does... which, ofc, just isn't how it works, but he didn't even consider that. (and made a few joking-yet-honest comments that even if I did get off to him snzing, he wouldn't honestly care. Which knowing him, is completely true~)

Anyways, this is a bit of a random/personal thing to post, but I've been so deeply ashamed of this part of me for so long, and then only recently started feeling more comfortable, and I've been toying/struggling with the idea of telling him for almost a year now, so to finally do it, and get such a good response... honestly it just feels so good. I don't think anything's gonna change in our dynamic, or get weird in any way, and that fills me with so much relief. (and yes, he knows I have a tumblr, but he promised not to search for it thank GOD)

#waterfallrants #waterfallrambles #waterfallpersonal #thats not a tag but now it is! because this is my blog! and i can do! what i want! #actively using it as a journal at this point but you know what i dont care #im out of my mind right now- literally just got off call my heart is POUNDING #but he took it so well and was like 'oh- that's it??' #the only time he was like 'woah what thats a bit weird' was when i told him how long ive felt this way (since lil child) #but otherwise he was so supportive (in his own 'makes jokes about it but gives genuine comfort with them' way) #and honestly it feels. so refreshing?? that now he.... i guess TRULY knows me?? like- knows this side of me. knows ME me #idk guys please feel free to ignore this honestly might even delete it later idk but im just kinda exhausted in a good way #it was a good talk (liek we always have) and im honestly not sure why i was even so worried in the first place ToT

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

im sorry if u find these annoying but ur fic recs r rly so so good do u by chance read dokyeom fics? could you rec...hehhee

I'm such a liar but I did finally get to this!

Fresh Eyes by @/sluttywoozi When I tell you this one had me cheesing the whole time... This fic is so cute Seokmin is so cute in this. It isn't really smut but it's gotta smutty themes and minors definitely shouldn't interact but it's really cute

Also Not a Baby by @/sluttywoozi this is straight smut where seokmin gets back at y/n for calling him a baby it's really good

A Very Tiny Crush by @/beahae is a cute lil fic where y/n is makeup artist for a show Seokmin is in? It's got smut but highkey i was here for the plot it was SOCUTE

Along for the Ride by @/theboymeetsevil we have hoshi being an absolute menace about the fact y/n thinks seokmin is hot and highkey just trying to set them up, and the smut in this??? SO good

Color Me Crazy (for you) by @/rubyreduji I don't know why y'all keep asking, just read JJ's whole masterlist like he is always going to end up on every single one of my recs THIS IS A FLUFF AND ITS SO CUTE y/n breakdown + seokmin dying y/n's hair?? it's so cute

Guilty Pleasure by @/number1mingyustan pardon my vulgarness I do not know how to word this other than Seokmin masturbates to porn that he made with y/n like... need I say more?

And bonus this little smut drabble by @/softforhao (there is nothing soft about this drabble)

#I had never reblogged a single seokmin fic prior to this post #NOT A SINGLE ONE #but now I'm slightly educated so #also I'm so sorry this took me so long #I accidentally got myself into making stupid childish bead bracelets? #And it's all I've been doing #Also #someone ask me to rec minghao fics #just so i can rec this one blog i just found #cause i have to be discreet man #also i've been reading a weird amount of minghao fics...? #like maybe five it's not a lot but idk man it's kinda a lot #b: 익명 #I hope you like these recs? #They were all good reads #also genuinely I like doing these fic recs I just don't know why you like them #cause i am so bad at this #but it's fine if it's just y'all who see this

[taruruchi]

Taruchi's Birthday SSR Voicelines

Hi hello <3 Yup, it's my birthday, meaning mini taru's birthday too! I wanted to do something in time for my birthday, and this was the shortest and most appealing idea I had so! Yeah! Though I have a drawing, I just have to get around to finishing it...

@linawritesocs @scarabiaa naturally, your ocs are here

When Summoned: Whoaaa! It looks so pretty here! This is all for me?

Summon Line: I've never had a birthday quite like this... I'm really happy I'm celebrating it with everyone!

Groovy: I'm so thankful I had such a great party. I can't wait for next year now!

Set to Home: I look nice? Thank you! You too!

Home Transition 1: Seth came in the second it became my birthday, with a tired Minnie behind him. Hehe, I'll have to do the same thing on their birthdays.

Home Transition 2: My birthday is the one time a year I can ask for my favorite foods and have a high chance of getting them. You better believe I'm taking advantage of that.

Home Transition 3: Surprised the students from Ignihyde actually did something for my birthday? Me too! Though I'm happy to announce Ramshackle has Wi-Fi now.

Home Transition/Groovy: I've never enjoyed parties too much, but this one was really fun.

Tap Home 1: You liked the music at the party? You can thank Ivy! She has amazing music taste.

Tap Home 2: One step out of the dorm and I got tackled by Ace and Epel... Deuce got them off, though. Thankfully their present wasn't broken bones.

Tap Home 3: Riddle very kindly offered to throw a birthday party in Heartslabyul. I sadly had to decline since I already have one, but I promised to be at the next Unbirthday party.

Tap Home 4: Hmm... I won't lie, as much fun as I'm having... I kind of miss celebrating with my family.

Tap Home 5: Y-You're giving me another slice of cake? I'm sorry, I really can't eat that much, even if I wanted to.

Tap Home/Groovy: Can you believe Azul arranged all this? He said that it was as payment for... uh, before, but I'm kind of worried... It's strangely kind of him.

#☆ taruchi's writings ✍️ #dude maybe i should just do this for all my ocs' birthdays??? #i love them lots but i feel unmotivated to make drawings and vignettes <//3 #anyway idk why it took me so long to post this. i finished it yesterday i just didn't type it out

[softer--apricot]

.

#all of a sudden realized that I love my secondary partner #could definitely fall in love with them but for now just happy to be #i have a thing about telling people (and animals tbh) that i love them #idk where it came from exactly but like. even when I brought home my puppy I was liiiike. you're so cute and soft and baby #but I don't love you yet! like a baby puppy even cares :p #idk idk I don't think I'm going to like. say anything. literally took me 3 months to say it to a literal puppy #nearly a year of seeing someone simply isn't enough for me #especially because there's like. clarifying. I love you but I'm not in love with you but I could be? how awkward #we also early days had a long conversation about telling people we love them. in which we both take our time saying it #and are put off by people saying it too soon #I just feel like we haven't spent enough time together to say it maybe... we're both busy people with other relationships too #anyways. wanted to vent a little but don't really have anyone I can share this with so #related but not. my work is hiring and we're a really small group of people and I'm anxious about it #I'm sooo standoffish with newbies and idk why and I do want to make friends but I don't but I will because small close-knit group

[safifonhasstrel]

Besties please don't hurt me but I cannot for the life of me get into the pjo show, no matter how hard I try looking at all those pretty gifs. I know the actors are lovely and talented and I wish them all great success but I as a person have a very hard time dealing with changes and boy did the show make a lot of changes. Like I am sorry but that's not percy Jackson that's literally will solace 😭 and I just can't deal with that. And I TRIED seeing it as an alternative universe but so far I just CANT. Maybe one day

#like idk which mental illness of mine makes it so hard for me to deal with changes #just wanted to get my 5 cents out of the system in case anyone was wondering why i haven't engaged in the fandom yet despite being a huge #fan of the books #took me a long time to accept the tvd show as an alternate universe too #but i still prefer the books because i knew them first #no matter how cringe they are #but that's another topic altogether #shut up anna

[orcelito]

Ok triple vaccine is kicking my ass. Now. I am.now grateful that I scheduled it with a day off after

#speculation nation #negative/ #i will be real this is genuinely one of the worst pains of my life #but to.make matters worse. my period started :/ so im dealing with first day cramps of Those #i got only 4 hours of sleep bc despite taking a melatonin i just Could Not Fall Asleep #my feet and legs were so very cold that even 45 minutes under a hot pad still hadnt warmed them #it took hours before i felt like i could remove it. idk how long exactly id finally fallen asleep #but june wouldnt stop crying until eventually she came up to bed #and poor sweet girl did her normal thing of climbing on me. which is usually fine. #but she stepped on my arm and. hhhhhholy shit lmfao That had to be one of the worst pains of my life. #like a 7 or maybe even an 8. right now doijg nothing id say its a 5 #i need to take ibuprofen but i need to get some food in me first #which. oh yeah. i got out of bed to try to eat a bit so i could take some ibuprofen. ended up lightheaded as fuck #had to sit down several times. until at one point i got hit with a spell so bad i was Convinced i was gonna throw up #sat beside the toilet with a cold sweat as i waited for the nausea to subside. #i was gonna have corn dogs for a small meal. they r in the microwave even. but rn i am.just gingerly sipping on an Ensure #with a plastic bag beside me lol. just in case. bc i dont fuck with nausea risks man i am.not puking on my floor. #eurgh why did my.body decide to make things worse for me.... this Sucks #emetophobia/

[boomerang109]

what if capitalism is making the one job i thought was possible for me feel unattainable not because i haven’t literally been doing it since age 13 but because it’s not well paid enough so until you get into a higher position you have to work multiple jobs and i knew that i always knew that but. fuck. why is adulting going to be so exhausting. what if this really is the best time of my life? being a depressed college student? what if it’s downhill from here?

#I love my quiet getting high nights cause they let me unlock my thoughts #i HATE my quiet getting high nights cause they let me unlock my thoughts #like bestie I was just watching critical role why did I pause it to write this down #anyway in other news I have a ten hour tech day and I’m ✨scared✨ #technically it’s nine and a half though because they moved the call by a whole half hour #and honestly I’m going to get breakfast for meal swipes so I might end up being late cause breakfast doesn’t open until 10 #but like fuck if I’m gonna try to make food here #I want to pack my bag tonight but also I just laid down after doing dishes and I’m exhausted #I’ve had such a long day too I had two normal classes (one of which I basically led the class. I interviewed two professionals in front of #the whole class. FUCK I probably need to send them a thank you email. that’s gonna be a tmrw issue or I might draft hifh but like not sendin #but anyway after that I had one hour for lunch and then three hour lab which was fun!! because we went ride pooling but like we walked a #shit ton and in the sun #oh and my roommates must’ve forgotten I come with today cause they left me behind (which is totally fine cause I didn’t get up but it did #mean I had to catch the on campus transport and that takes forever and so I was late to meet my friend for breakfast and dining hall was #closed so I had to get food elsewhere which literally cost the same as the dining hall in the morning which is dumb but it took waaay longer #anyway hifh boom takes tumblr diary entries too seriously idk why I channeled my whole life into this post lmao #i think it’s cause I’m self-isolating HARD (despite being fairly social at the moment? it’s a surprisingly cool balancing act im pulling off #quite well as a busy bee) so I felt the need to pretend to have human connection without actually breaking my self-imposed isolation lmao #boom blogs high

[oatbugs]

my mental health has tanked so insanely idk what 2 do lol

#bc of my grades last yr and also on the assignments ive submitted this yr my uni has faith in me #to somehow catch up on 1.5 terms of content (lectures and everything) including those of modules i took that were clearly #above my paygrade (AKA took 3rd yr modules as a 2nd yr bc i thought im built different. heart emoji ♡) #however my mental health is still so bad that i dont think its possible #so i spoke to smn abt it and they were like u can take some time off to recorver n then come bavk #and its like #ok 👍 but that would require spending several months at home. w my parents #so im worried i wont get better when im around them yk #anyway my mental health has nosedived a few times over the last 2yrs but never for this long #and there was always a reason but this time its so out of nowhere ?? like why have i been like this for several months lol #the thing is if i don't take a break rn and try to power thru i don't think im build SO different to be able to make up on like #4 missed exams and assignment and also do all the other exams in exam season and get a 1st #and i rly need to get a 1:1 idk #built**

[waywardsalt]

Hi! I hope you’re doing good in life! So it’s spooky season so I have an ask related to that. I don’t know if you play horror video games, watch horror movies/shows, or read horror books, but if you do, I have to ask: What is the most disturbing book, or video game or show/movie that you’ve played/watched/read? In my opinion, there is two types of horror: the ones that scare you, and the ones that traumatize you. If you can think of any book, movie, or game that really kind of fucked you up, I’m curious to know if you feel like answering. I hope you have a good day and a good life.

Hey, I’m doing good and I hope you are too!

the answer ended up being really long lol

Woof, this is honestly a pretty hard question, since I can't really name any horror (or otherwise) media that actually left me kind of fucked up for a bit, at least not to the degree where it affected me for a while. I probably haven't been really fucked up by anything since I was a kid, so I'll try and recall what a few things fucked me up back then...

Off the top of my head I know that two different spongebob episodes got me bad, the first being one with that tunnel of love thing (tho tbh i havent seen it in a while so it might still spook me today) and the one where i'm pretty sure for whatever reason squidward gets locked in some small locker and has some kind of fucked up dream, whatever that was. I remember there was an eagle in that one. the eagle terrified me. (i looked them up, and the first episode is titled 'tunnel of glove' and the second is 'squidward in clarinetland'. with how badly that second one got to me, i'm surprised i ended up learning to play the clarinet at all)

other than that, i think the courage the cowardly dog episode 'the house of discontent' got me pretty bad, too, but i think everyone who saw any amount of that series as a kid has at least one episode that got them fucked up.

there's probably a handful of scooby-doo stuff that got to me when i was a kid, but i could not name any specifics (asides from charlie the robot's original episode, christ) because i think i managed to see just about every bit of available scooby media around that time.

nowadays stuff still does kinda fuck me up, but it's usually only for brief bits of time. the most recent example I can think of is cowboy bebop's 20's episode, pierrot le fou, which is honestly some great horror, especially how it uses the show's typical format and flips it on it's head, but i wouldn't necessarily say it got to me because of it being scary, more because of the way the ending disturbed me for a bit. it was the only episode that had me stop afterwards and really look into it for anything other than clarifying a character's gender, lol.

the endings of both neon genesis evangelion and end of evangelion had me shaken, the latter more so than the former, but not really due to horror aspects, though. i did have to take a walk after finishing end of evangelion. i don't really watch horror movies, i just... read the wikipedia plot descriptions of them.

honestly, i think some of the more popular youtube analogue horror series have gotten to me worse (likely due to the fact that they can get a bit more fucked up than, say, a tv show or movie), specifically the walten files (which i did watch) and the mandela catalogue (which i just watched wendigoon's vids on), and those two and mostly because facial distortion is generally just an incredibly effective form of horror imo. a lot of the time (esp with the childhood examples) the way i was 'fucked up' was that id be in be visualizing the stuff that scared me, and both the mandela catalogue and the walten files had me doing that for a bit.

now that i remember it, i was really scared of fnaf when it first came out. i first learned of it second-hand from seeing some other kids looking into it, and the bits and pieces i put together about it really scared me.

honestly, it's usually straight-up disturbing sequences or imagery that gets to me the most, and i know my limits well enough to generally identify and avoid that stuff, which is probably why i don't have too many recent examples. i've got one or two examples of non-horror movies that fucked me up as a kid, but that's mostly because they were wildly inappropriate for someone of my age (at the time) to be witnessing, so that's a different sort of topic.

i mean, i think i generally have a decent tolerance for fucked up stuff in media, anyways, i mean, i enjoy berserk and haven't really been too upset or disturbed by what happens in it (look theres some nasty shit in there im not saying its not that bad) so there's definitionally some kind of line that media needs to cross to really get to me nowadays, or it just needs to be a specific kind of fucked up. books generally don't do that for me so i don't have any book examples. no games, either, though shadow mario and the haunted house segments in super mario 3d world scared me so much that i had to make my mom do the levels for me, and i'm pretty sure scooby doo: first frights scared me a bit when i first played it on ds.

other than that, though, I just think that, in pokemon x, the story that an npc tells you during your first trip to route 14 and then the strange office building encounter with the animation-less hex maniac creeped me out pretty bad.

yeah, it's kind of hard for me to think of anything (recent) that actually really fucked me up or anything. most stuff just scared me, never really fucked me up or figuratively traumatized me in recent years.

#asks #zeldanamikaze #salty talks #i think for media to really fuck me up there has to be some kind of intense emotional aspect to it or have some specific visual stuff #my enjoying of berserk is proof that it takes specific stuff to really get to me. the way i tested if id be fine reading berserk is so #fucked in hindsight. i straight up looked up the two most infamous eclipse chapters online and read them to make sure id be fine #what the fuck. i just dove in head first fucking god #anyways yeah. like berserk is generally fine for me but cowboy bebop episode 20 did have me a lil fucked up. its so good #ive been looking more into horror stuff recently and i have a lot of respect for (well-executed) horror games like damn. i wanna play #silent hill 2 so bad. it's a really interesting genre when pulled off effectively on a level deeper than just 'oh look at this scary thing' #anyways. i recently watched mononoke and its not really horror just kinda unsettling. its so fucking good #tbh tho there are some fanfics ive read that did actually fuck me up (which is why i kinda have an aversion to angst) #but i didnt want to talk abt those bc i dont want to name names or anything. theyre good fics they just affected me pretty negatively #generally its more like. freaky irl things that fuck me up but thats not fun to talk about its just like. depressing #sorry it took so long to reply to this i hadnt really sat down to write it or anything an just. couldnt think of much lol #anyways ig bottom line is that its more likely for non-horror stuff to fuck me up? or its gotta be specific stuff idk #i played a few hours of portal 1 at a friends house years ago and for some reason it creeped me out a whole lot #strangely enough i dont think scooby doo mystery incorporated fucked me up when i first watched it #i think there was like 1 episode that scared me more than the rest but it was never too bad #and that show is regarded as likely the most actually scary scooby thing. its rlly good #im pretty sure scooby doo was my first (or one of my first) special interest #also (similarly) i dont really get nightmares too often my dreams are just kinda really weird most of the time #i did actually have like. a scary dream recently but i dont know if id fully call it a nightmare