#idk wht im saying im just talking

[samgelina-jolie]

Tommy POV of a stoncy au would be so funny like the timeline as he knows it being:

- Jonathan beats the shit out of Steve

- Steve calls him and Carol assholes and ditches them

- He sees Nancy and Steve on a date at a cafe two weeks later and hes like "whatever not my problem what mistakes you make anymore"

- THEN he catches Jonathan and Nancy holding hands looking awfully close and he almost, almost wants to warn Steve but he doesn't

- AND THEN he catches Byers wearing one of Steve's favourite sweaters (one he wouldn't even let Tommy borrow) and sporting a huge hickey while grocery shopping.

- The final straw would be him walking past the Byer's house one morning for whatever reason and he sees Steve AND Nancy crawling out someone's (he knows who's) bedroom window??

- Tommy goes home and screams into his pillow and vows to stop paying attention to Steve for his own sanity.

#stoncys not really my thing #personally i think if it was gonna be itd be jancy n stonathan with platonic stancy lmao #jonathan using his pansexual charms and freakish wiles to bag not only the most desirable girl in hawkins but the most desirable boy too #jonathan has two hands #steve 🤝🏻 jonathan 🤝🏻 nancy #idk wht im saying im just talking #stranger things #stoncy #steve x jonathan x nancy #tommy hagan #steve harrington #jonathan byers #nancy wheeler #show: stranger things #ch: tommy h #ch: steve harrington #ch: jonathan byers #ch: nancy wheeler #dynamic: steve/nancy/jonathan #ship: steve/nancy/jonathan #dynamic: tommy/steve #i might regret writing this later

[astral-nautical]

suckening liveblog bc i dont wanna spam my friends lol

spoilers ahead!!!!!!!!!!!! going to put all of episode 1 in one post :O

i didnt expect emizel to be pronounced tht way tbh!! em-ee-zel...i expected emi-zel if tht makes Any sense

oh emizel got daddy issues? sad. wait he runs a GANG?

the arts fucking insane dude im so happy they worked w so many people for this

oh hello soda :O bro has some transgender energy already like. who dresses themselves in stuff w their name on it if not someone who picked their own name?

GANG WAR,? i love emizel i dont know if this is the rightr vibe or not but hes giving me 'punk kid whose pretending to be in a gang' and i love him for it

smash bros commentary is so funny omg

oohhh vampire time soon???? fangs gonna BITE

'sometimes i just say shit and idk what it means' SAME SODA.

ohhhhh nooo this is not gooooood. oh em ur getting fucked uppp

FIRST COMBAT WOOOOO omg the music is fucing phenomenal i love u nathan hanover

oh my god this is fuckjign insane NO SODAAAAAAAAAAA

ayo ? kiss time ig. NAHHHHH BITE TIME

wat the fuuuuuuck What the fuuuuuck LMAO FUCK DOUBLE BITE??????? CHOMP CHOMP MOTHERFUCKER

FRENZY CHECK??????? oh here we go dude vampire timeee

so emizels fucked. ANYWAYS ROMANIA

bizlys character art looks like hes abt to cry lmao. sad little twink

im so fond of this guy and hehasnt even talked? hes so funny. why are you so well dressed AYO EYESHADOW?

SHILO IS SO FUNNY I LOVE HIM? oh no his accent is so cute. cute as in like a stuffed animal is cute not like attraction. im aroace

is shilo like? rapunzel? is he not allowed to leave his room ?

hes so funny im so fucking endeared omg

"WHAT DOES A VAMPIRE KNOW ABOUT FENCING?"

oh he IS rapunzel he's never met a mortal!! why is his mother never letting him out :O

oh....he wants a book on birds :,) he wants to read abt pheasants....

HE WANTS A PET PHESSANT I AM GOING TO START CRYING

shilo is a manipulative little BASTARD i love him he can do no wrong in my eyes forever and always. my wet and pathetic cat that i hold so dearly

ohh curious boy curious boy...doing this he should Not b

oh fuck shilo's mom so much i have a bad feeling abt her alreadyyyyy

my bbg...run away flee this place get OUT god i fucking hate his mother she caused him so much shame he's frenzying :((((

'both of you will take me to the darkened door, or i Will Scream." shilo you are my favourite forever and ever

ARTHUR.......OH HIS DESIGN IS COOL AS FUCK

kitty kitty cat :O give me their name rnv ITS A GIRL oh the little kityt noises im going to pass away

void...is she smarter than arthur lmao?

FUCLFUCKFUCK COWBOY VAMPIRE IM SHITTING MYSELFNSJFDJS

arthurs so cool hes like if rumi had a goth phase

fucking What is arthurs deal whts he looking for here. hello

SHILOAPPEARING IN THE AUTO SHOP IM GONNA LOSE IT. GUARD HELP THERE IS OIL ON MYHANDS Who is that.

"i believe in you. you are my special boy<3" shilo is such an asshole i adore him

emizel is here :O the trio are meeting up lets gooo

how did i COMPLETELY miss arthur can control shadows what the FUCK. what the HELL. ARMS OF THE ABYSS?

THE SHOEHSHFJAKGK

"i ask of you to calm down" "...i flick my other shoe at him."

"GREFGOR WE HAVE TO GO EVEYYONEW IS BIG AND TRYING TIO KILL EACH OTHER :(" shilo i adore you.

"uh. Pretend i am dead." (collapses)

this is beyond fucking funny. emi and arthur sorting themselves out while shilo has a panic attack and fakes being dead like a fucking possum

NAH THEY END THE EP THERE? THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY GOODBYE

in conclusion shilo is my newest bbg and my discord server profile is already fanart of him. god bless

#just roll with it #jrwi #jrwi the suckening #the suckening #the suckening spoilers

[monkeymelly]

Hey!💞 i know you said you’re really bad at writing😭 but i was wondering if you could do a mean!mike wheeler x f!reader i doesn’t have to be very long but could you a reader gets bullied by him she kinda likes it he notices. you can go on with the rest😅 you don't have to reply its just theres like 0 mikey writers

experiment

Hiiii ill do what i can doll love your idea

also this was rlly rushed idk wht im doingggg

Warnings:smut oral f receiving fingering lmk if theres more💞

〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎〰︎

Mike wheeler was different from the others.

you were one of the prettiest most popular girls in the school you could pull the whole basketball team if you wanted you didnt even need to try.

Except for mike. He was the most horribly infuriating person you had ever met.he would have a mean comment mo matter what. you got a good test score? you fucked the teacher. you got a answer wrong? bimbo whore there was no winning with him occasionally he'd pull on the straps of your bra and flick it on your skin to get you attention and compliment your outfit or your stationary. weather he was degrading your intelligence or objectifying you his attention was all you needed.

Your little challenge turned into a tiny crush when allyour older friends would talk about what them and thier boyfriends would do to eachother youd think about doing them with mike his long fingers stroking your hair wrapping your neck or deep inside of you all the other boys were merely play things but in your head mike was already yours.

fortunately you were failing one of your sience classes and mike was assigned your tutor so you invited him over yours, he was surpisingly smart for being such a "badboy outcast"

The doorbell rang and you practically hopped downstairs from your room to open the door leading him into your room.

"ok what are we starting with sir" you say jokinly "sir?" looking quite shocked "you are teaching me arent you?" cocking your head to the side "oh yeah sure" he responds absentmindedly. you guys carry on studying the atmosophere becoming more jokey and comfortable over time talking about popular people in your school -mostly you gossiping about all the shitty things youe friends do to his- untill your ability to never shut the fuck up got the best of you "ya'know you could be pretty popular if u didnt hang out with those guys," which was already a bad start, "probably runs in the family getting in with the wrong crowd i mean look at nancy for examp-" from the moment you said his older sisters name hes mood changed his hand grabbed your jaw and sweezed your cheeks together "watch your fucking mouth stupid bimbo slut." his brows are furrowed and hes got that signature annoyed mike look on his face sending shockwaves directly to your puffy pussy just feeling his presence gets you riled up "yes sir sorry sir-uh-mikey" you mutter he laughs in your face "no way!" his perfect lips spreading into boyish grin "you fucking liked that!" freeing your jaw from his grip "no i didnt stupid" his hand slithers under your skirt and grabs your clothed cunt the hole gapes around his fingers as he rubs a soft sigh escaping your mouth.

He slips his hand under the elastic waist band, tracing circles on your clit. "Is this ok, princess?" he whispers. You nod quickly, letting out what you think was a whimper. He flips your skirt up, pulling your perfect panties to the side, almost hypnotized by your pretty pussy. "Fuck," he groans. "Look at you, you're soaking." His fingers sloppily slide over your slit, making you clench on nothing. "Please," you beg breathlessly. He pauses , halting his movements. "Ah ah ah, baby-" you imterupt him swiftly correcting yourself "sir, please sir touch me need it so bad" He licks a strip im between your folds "anything for my girl" swirling his tounge around your clit sucking and slurping your hand sits in his hair pulling he groans against your cunt sliping a finger your little uh uh's egging him on "please sir just one-one more,fuck its so good, one more finger daddy" he laughs deeply "we switching up our names now slut? thought you'd be looser than this since youve fucked the whole basket ball team." he adds another didget curling his fingers deep into you "nuh uh sir they lie i promise daddy your my first." he can tell shes close buy how tight shes clenching his didgits her words are coming out wrong and her legs start to shake a lil you let out a pornographic cry and mike coerces you through your orgasm sucks hes fingers when hes done making sure to get every last bit of your juices he cleans you up and you snuggle for abit untill he has to go but before he leaves he spins around says "next time im gonna make you squirt, n thats a promise."

lets just say your definitely passing biolgy.

i couldnt b bothered to correct this so srry for the spelling mistakes

#mike wheeler x reader #mike wheeler x reader smut #fanfic #x reader #mike wheeler #stranger things smut #eddie munson #steve harrington x reader #stranger things #michael wheeler #nancy wheeler #will byers

[evilmancer]

ok just need 2 get this out of my system so. dump. tlaking. chit chat even. uhm frost king is evil wizard's son , made with magic !! i dont have a specific way he got made with magic yet but im kinda thinking on his crown

maybe his body just formed from that then ykno. tjats that he is snake like-ish like his dad. ok? he got like snake skin but not snake snake super snake skin if that makes sense, its just a bit similar (like evil wizard's snake eyes!!!!) -> then . then painter is necromancer's son i havent made a super huge idea abt it me and my brother were just in vc once and he said "frost king is evil wizard's son then painter is necromancer's son". we laughed from there so thats where dat came from. but i hav no idea rough idea is just that he was a little magic experiment . lik e school project for reference but he wasnt an actual school project obviously

little idea i had a bit ago is that necromancer is also an artist so both he and painter r artists wow. # father son bond thing. -> cyclops is both evil wizard and necromancer's son!! yay!!!!!!!!!!! ok we didnt wanna leave cyclops out from frost n painter so we were like evilmancer fankid slash j n then it formed from there. he doesnt have any 'origin story' in my mind so thats just the concept - yay relationships. relatthet erelations hip the relastionshi p belo 4 belo industrial prince and frost king are dating. yay. it was originally a joke as most things here were just because me and my brother didnt like them but then we were like! ok wait it kinda makes sense industrial prince for some reason just?? has a telescope that just oh so happens to be right at frost king's castle window like whts up with that AND THEN frost king looks OVER to industrial castle like why!! why! whats ur reason man??? (i mean obviously its just to connect the lvls together plot wise but i think about it too hard)

i think theyre sweet anyway, loserness togetherness makes luv win forever who agrees! (talking to a wall)

evilmancer my number one. ok # theyre like literally implied anyway, do i have to say much (cough . necromantic pack looks around wide eyed) theyre literally always together i could ramble on and on abt them but ill keep that for another day. another post.

conehead groom and cycloooppss. ok theyre just bestfriendsin the game but whatever. theyre reallly reallly close under assumption of every painting in cyclops fortress i think theyre really cute i dont rlly have anything else to say about them besides that? ill probably add more abt them in the future but 4 now theyre just silly little guys in mymind

(heres just a little doodle of them . like the rest. feeling nice.) ok no more relationship section just misc stuff -> painter looks up to orange princess a bit and thinks shes really cool, drawing her often for her silly little behavior and of the like. no crushing really jsut "wow!! shes really cool!! i like her!!" if that makes sense lol -> frost king and blue knight were friends pre-barbarian war (like. the war in general not the level ingame)

(old doodle showing them off, they were like bffs but they were blocked. # blooxked. so they had 2 stop talking but they were like omg hi during ice castle lvl ok) -> medusa babysat frost king when he was younger , idk if i REALLY wanna make that my headcanon-canon-super canon but the idea is cute 2 me. she taught him abt stuff like flowas. alrhgt. -> conehead groom and painter r like # artists in their own ways n that makes them bffs. painter makes art for ch groom's music and ch groom makes music for painter's art. cyclops is happy that his bf and brother get along its sweet. all nice. uff ok im done i think thanks for reading

#the evilest wizard rambles #castle crashers #evilwiz's art #i think art tag works idk lol #blue knight #evil wizard #frost king #necromancer #cyclops #conehead groom #industrial prince #painter #ohh im so crazy 4 this game u guys dont understand i cant do it anymo #ok no im lying i can do everything. everything that ever existed ever

[puppyyboyy]

vent kinda???

ive been taking my meds consistently and im more sober with the weed shit, i really dont know why my emotions are still shit!!!! im gonna talk to my therapist about it all and then up my medication bcuz this sucks. my last day of school is may 30th and i have 2 exams next week. im definitely failing the algebra one,, the other one is biology and im pretty good at that?? i dont understand punnet sqares tho. those are so dumb. actually wht does school exist. and then next year when im 16 my sister says she will hire me bcuz she is a manager where she works and she can drive me to work with her but im scared to get a job. im a slow learner and im really lazy and kinda a bitch to people i dont like!!! like she works at a fast food place so what if i get a costumer thats on my nerves and i say smth rude. like??? im so!! and im gonna be so overwhelmed i think. but idk i can change and i can grow ig so i think im just overthinking! ive beeb clean with self harm for a while also, i think the most self destructive thing ive done is like, procrastination with school. i have 9 missing assignments in biology, 5 or 4 in my personal health class and 1 in algebra and 3 in my other class!! IM SO OVER THIS!!! i cant do anything good!! im so fucking stupid and pathetic why am i so dumb oh my fucking goddd.😞😞 ima kms istg

#vent! #leos rants

[noelashe]

maybe as a bad gamer i should actually "invest?" in patho 2 first idk if it's easier to atleast understand or what apparently its still a "hard game" But i'm ok with hard games if they're easy to understand? Like lobcorp was difficult to learn and yea the final boss requires an insane amount of effort i still havent beat it but it still did not feel nearly as hard when i begun to understand it. Patho it's like there's so much...Strange vocabulary rhat's the shit that trips me out like i had trouble understanding anything spamton was saying for example. Oh god i'm talking about like 5 different games at once. It's strange vocabulary plus UI i'm not used to just like gosh it's so hard to adapt most the time im not undersatnd ing wht people sauy im struggling real hard to though....I wanna experience pathooooo

[lqfiles]

oh and about the friend fallout,, i don’t even feel bad nor do i think i want to reconcile ever because im just angry at how things were handled and it’s now clear to me that he lacks a backbone and the lack of communication and confrontation skills is somehow worse than mine,, all of my (three) friends r saying im not at fault but ill always feel like i was in some way but the gist of it was literally just that his partner told him that they thought i didn’t like them. and he kept that information to himself instead of trying to resolve the problem, he kept hanging out with me and talking me like normal because we were basically best friends (i can’t imagine being friends w someone if ur partner thinks theres animosity towards them regarding said friend) and i didnt know they thought that up until i brought up that the partner removed me as a friend on FORTNITE 💀💀 all this bc of fortnite……goofy ass…. anyway he went on saying like it seems it’s just a misunderstanding and they felt like you weren’t talking to them when we played together and i noticed other things too (didn’t tell me what the other things were) then we were just radio silent for all of april until i noticed yesterday he broke our mutual on ig so i finished the job, broke our tiktok and fortnite mutual so its basically over. im not sad over it because i don’t want to be friends with someone who’s in a codependent relationship and can acknowledge it and not see the problem with it… the whole thing feels very much like middle school drama we are GROWN mfs are ab to be in their 20s bruh…

—🪼

this was sooo long sorry but i can’t help it i have a need for gossip….

this is DEFINITELY not your fault. first off, why wouldn’t your friend ask you if you dislike his partner when finding out about that worry, it was never that serious to keep it to himself like what 😭 a quick “oh what do you think of x, be honest” would’ve done enough but instead he pretends like it isn’t an issue (even tho like u said his partner felt some type of way about u) secondly, the fact that YOU had to address it instead of him or his partner is strange because it was them that had an issue with you at first (without telling u) and you having to find out there is something up through fortnite is unserious as hell omgg this can’t be real 😭 thirdly, it doesn’t seem like you were looking for problems at all, seems more like you were trying to figure out WHT the problem was and he brushed it off before he completely ghosts you and silently removes you, i’m sorry but it was NEVERRRR this serious istggg??? both of them are very immature for their age, this is such a small issues that could’ve been resolved easily if both of them just were upfront with you 😭😭😭 it’s clear that he chose his partner over you too which.. okay.. but at least have the guts to say so :/ i’m sorry fren you deserve better people in your life than that and i believe you did well by removing him too. funnily enough i had something very similar happen where i didn’t talk to a friend for a day because of something they did that turned me off and then i check my private insta and find out she removed me with both her main and priv 💀💀 finished the job as well and haven’t talked to her ever since either (even tho we’re in the same class) AND FUNNILY ENOUGH she was also codependent on her partner 😭

i was talking about this with a classmate today about how i don’t think i could ever put a relationship above friendship.. it sounds bad but like idk i believe friends are more reliable than a relationship that requires a lot of trust in each other

#asks. #from 🪼 anon #gonna put a read more cos i don’t want my response to clog the dashboard hsjdhsj #FUCK YOUR FRIEND #our stg!yenle moment.. damn..

[spncvr]

Hi! I saw your post bout being stuck on a paragraph of your fic bout remus. I'm not much of a writer, but from what i saw- it already was so much more informative about remus' dynamic with other characters and that's amazing!

It really depends on what plot you've got in your head but maybe follow it up with what you think this particular reader has interests in, maybe talk bout the readers passion and then proceed onto how they'll meet or how their connection overlaps

Maybe follow it with an interaction at a concert, or reader being also musically inclined that she'll possibly be the puzzle piece remus lacks in completing his masterpiece (his muse per say) or just reader being a colleague, or another singer who he secretly admires bc of their work (can also be worked into becoming his rival in playing their shared cherished instrument)

Honestly idk, sorry for rambling (and if none of those are wht you thought of- dont feel pressured to change them, I truly trust your storytelling) but you're work has so much potential and i wish you the best!

-🍃

HEY BEAUTIFUL I LOVE YOU SM UVE OPENED MY THIRD EYE BLESS YOU I LOVE YOU MWAH

i also genuinely have to remind myself that this is the internet and people see shit i complain about because tell me why i saw this and went “HOW DO THEY KNO— oh yeah i posted ab it” ERRRMMMM N E WAYSSSS😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

anyways thanks pookie this really DID open my third eye and im writing rn (i should be studying for my indo lit test tmrw but ill be fiiiineeee) (no i wont) (i promise ill study) (pls dont kill me)

#c won’t shut up! #nonnie #🍃 anon #ive always wanted ro have an anon emoji thing on my blog #im very lonely i fear #what i lie i cant shut up if someone payed me to #sorry to all my irl friends #who thankfully dont know just how chronically online i am #why am i yapping in the tags #okay bye

[wheeboo]

I MISSED U MORE OMGG talking to u is fr the fav part of my day ure so sweet 😭 IM GLAD URE DONE W THATT, i hope things get less stressing for u and make sure to take loads od restt u deserve it U DESERVE ALL OF THE RELAXATION IF NOT MORE SO TC OF URSELF 💗💗 and I've been alrightt, just a bit stressed w studying for mocks and finishing my hoshi fic 😭😭

AHH CAN I SAY I LITERALLH CRIEDDD WHILE READING IT IT WAS OS WEET AND THE WAY U DESCRIBED EVEUTHING??? RANIA U WRITING GENIUSS I SWEARR 😭💗 im so glad i didn't miss out on anything else or i would've had a full on break down fr omgg 😓 wait now i wanna know what the fav fics you wrote are, drop tje links rania im ready to cry baee ✊

this is gonna be so random but i need to know 😭 whTs ur fav go to comfort food, what wld u bring to an island if u werw stranded and what's ur fav song to sing in the shower (i sound like an interviewer but we ignore that 😭)

FAV PART OF UR DAY ?? nah ur too sweet n kind omg that means sm to me i LOVE talking to u too 🥺🫶 thank u my love wishing u all the luck w studying and ur mocks !! just know i’m rooting for u, always remember to take breaks n look after urself too!!

NOOO U CRIED?? 😭💔 srsly i’m honoured to make u feel such emotions omg :<< and omg fav fics ive written … i have lots of them but hmm if u wanna cry then i recommend ukiyo but if u wanna read cute fluff i recommend my catnaps series! but anytning in my masterlist with a heart is my personal fave 🫶 if u do read them lmk all ur thoughts too !!

comfort food is def ramen ofc i’ve been recently obsessed with the buldak carbonara ramen. hmm i’d prob bring a survival book tbh gotta know what we r doing n collect resources along the way yk 🫡 (i know my ass wouldn’t survive on a desert island anyway OWJSJJS) oh god singing in the shower is my LIFE. i sing all kinds of songs tbh so i don’t have rlly have a fav, but i get back into singing songs from the greatest showman every few months (idk if you’ve watched it it’s a musical and it’s amazing!!) n i specifically love singing the song tightrope 🫶

hbu?? lmk ur fav comfort food, what u would bring to a deserted island, and song to sing in the shower!!

#mimi! #rozisisme #friends ༊ #answered

[pensamientosazulesyverdes]

what the hell is wrong with me? and when i say this i fukin mean it. what the hell is going on? i really dislike this feeling (not hate, hate is too strong and too bad). but i really don,t like feeling like this, feeling like i do not recognize me, that im loosing myself, that im always shouting down my thoughts, and just replacing them with some fuking ugly ass shit puke hell repulsive reels.

where did all the thinking, all the.. ¿philosophy? all the wanting to be better, all the HOPE, YES, THE HOPE FOR SOMETHING BETTER TO HAPPEN, where did it all go?

anyways, sometimes i feel like im better without that 'hope'. like that wasnt hope it was just disconforment, like pure hate for everything i was and i did. it was tiring, but also i really wanted to get out of there, so i was always thinking and analazying myself, it felt so intimate, i liked it. and, however, apart from that, where did all the meditation, the talking with the universe, the smelling fresh air go? WHERE DID IT ALL GO? I FEEL LIKE IM FUKING DYING, LIKE IM FUKING FORGETTING EVERYTHING THAT MADE ME, ME. THAT MADE ME HAPPY, ALIVE, RELIEVED.

WHEN WAS THE LAS TIME I WENT TO THE ROOF OF MY HOUSE AND SMELLED FRESH AIR AND THA KED THE UNIVERDR FOR EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE? i felt like my life was shit but at those moments i had a lot of things to be thankful for, and it reslly made a difference, i feel like i dont do anything special now. like i work and then i come house, and if i dont hang out with anyone i just idk watvh my phone? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? I HATE ITTTT. like i get it, im way more busy now than a year behind, but I STILL HAVE FREE TIME AND I KNOW THAT VERY WELL. LIKE I DIDMT EVEN WROTE ANYTHING FOR NEW YEARS EVE, WTFFDDDD THAYS NOT ME. LIKE I COULD HAVE HAD TIME.

and i know than in another time in my life i would have like planmed some shit like well from now on im going to fuking stop using my phone and everytime i open a reel i will just fucking drop my phone and that kind of stuff, but the wordt part is that im not doing plans for getting better and happier and prettier im just living like a fucking npc LIKE WTFFFFFFF. like i have no motivation or any strongness ¿? for standing up for fucking besting my comfort zone im just libing in there and letting it be AND I CAN NOT LEAVE THAT SHIT BE.

another thing that it's like so fucking weird is like im feel that im also loosing my sense of style, i dont know how i want to dreess, im just letting my body and life decide my style, like i should be the one deciding every fucking aspect of myself, i dont know waht haircute would suit me bc defentmutely not the one im using with my new waves taht came out of nowhere, but i just kind of let it be AND I CANTTT I CANT LET IT BE THIS IS NOT ME THIS IS NOT THE GIRL I WAS LIKE 3 YEARS AGO AND I DONT FUCKING LIKE THAT SHE WORKED SO HARD TO BE SO PRETTY AND IM JUST LIKE IGNORING IT???

i know how this stops. this stops being the same girl i was when i wanted to be thin and pretty, and i did everything in myself for that.

this stops being the same girl i was when i wabted tu live in the moment and leave my fucking phone, and i suffered, i went through states i didnt know existed, i felt awkward, uncomfortable, boring, but i did it (even tho afterwards it all went to hell bc idk i just got bored/tired)

this stops being fucking determinate, knowing wht i want. and what do i want?

i want to leave my phone alone, i definetly dont want to spend time watching reels on my free time like i really really dont want that

i want to start reconecting with my enviroment and thoughts again, feeling the breeze, being thankfull, and really trying to become better everyday, and to control my mind and thoughts like i was trying some time ago.

i want to really focus on my self, my needs, desires, and image.

so, what i am gonna do?

maybe i will try spanish now, fucking cansada del ingles. que voy a hacer ahora entonces?

voy a volver del trabajo. y no voy a abrir un puto reel. cada vez que vaya a abrir un reel, por mas que me duela, que se sienta totalmente extraño, lo voy a dejar a la mierda, encontrare cualquier otra cosa que hacer, pero BASTA DE REELS. en serio lo digo. dios son la 1 d la mañana pero buenooo era esto lo que necesitaba, reconextar conmigo y mi mente, por mas aue mañana me arrepienta. no escribi propositos d año nuevo y bueno, lo hago ahorA, jamas es tarde. jamas. jamas es tarde siempre estoy a tiempo.

ok; nada de reels, encontrare mas cosas en las que ocupar mi mente, hasta volvere a leer, no se, pero tengo que estar presente.

ademas, ese tiempo libre me va a dar tiempo de pensar en mi.

en agradecerle al cielo.

en pensar, disfrutar el aire.

llorar de felicidad.

y tambien pensar en mi, en mejorar mi fisico, mi apariencia.

que quiero ahora???? necesito los plasticos para hacer la iontoforesis. tengo que comprar eso. es un deber. tambien la oxibutonina, porque sentirse incomoda en una misma no es una opcion. si funciona la iontoforesis, ljego de vario tiempo me hago los piercingd que quiero, pefo antes, mi pelo.

tengo como 'peoposito' encontrar lo que mejor me siente, tal vez deba ir a la peluqueria, idk, tengo que encontrar la mejor opcion. pero en mi tiempo libre lo lograre.

mi mayor proposito este año es superar el miedo el re puto miedo que odio que detesto con el alma y no me deja vivir. pero es algo demasiado profundo para tratar ahora, es tarde y debo dormir.

como siempre, se empieza por metas cortas. mañana voy a llegar a casa y no voy a ver reels. voy a volver del trabajo y no voy a ver reels. ni jugar jueguitos. ni perder el tiempo con el cel. promesa. y veremos aue deriva de eso

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

the new rules thing isint avalable in my area yet sobs but ill listen to it when it comes out asap

and i js have to cry about this bc yes but school is so stressful and ngl joshua (and my fav soloist my lover junny) are the only 2 keeping me going😭 (not talking about my #1 bsf and my cousin ik they wont see this but them too) but joshua literally has me acting crazy in the most not smutty way i swear. i look at joshua or see his name and i GASP like its that bad and i think my shuarot is worse bc school is getting harder overall <//3 it took me listening to idubilu 100 times and junnys invitation 100 times to not have a meltdown while completing some venn diagram. why is this so long 😭 idk why im semi ranting like this but like its that bad where nothing makes me feel relaxed except watching joshua (svt) and junny😭 i need serious help tbh and like its so bad i cried to fml and fire I EVEN CRIED WHILE WATCHING WHATS MY PROBLEM+MMO 😭😭 sobs this is so long why am i ranting like this

BUT HOW IS THE JOSHUA FIC GOING!?!?! im definitely patiently waiting for it and im super excited BUT TAKE YOUR TIME NO PRESSURE but like ur fics are always the best n i js always have to reread them bc theyre js so good

- 🤤 anon which def should be 😭 anon atp bc wht do i use sm of that emoji LMAO

IM SORRY ITS NOT AVAILABLE THERE YET OMG I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT WHEN YOU CAN THOUGH CAUSE I AM THOROUGHLY ENJOYING IT THE HOSTS OF THAT PODCASTS ARE SO NICE AND FUNNY

You’re so funny but I’m so sorry that school is so stressful 😭 Remember happiness doesn’t come from grades but from booseoksoon <3

BUT I UNDERSTAND THAT IM NOT LIKE THAT RN WITH AN IDOL BUT I HAVE BEEN THERE ITS KINDA LIKE FRUSTRATING LIKE I NEVER KNOW HOW TO MANAGE THAT FEELING

I’m really really sorry you’re having a hard time I hope your mini rant made you feel better 😭😭 it sounds like school is so stressful :( CRYING TO FML IS REAL BUT CRYING TO FIRE 😭

I actually have a funny story(?) but when i was having a lot of bad days a few months ago i had just gotten back into the song fronting by svt and you know in vernons verse were he goes ��igeonun front hallae” and then there’s a little sassy “no i don’t” in the background? I used to like tell myself while i’m crying that my breakdowns weren’t very “front hallae” of me 😭 i have a video of it somewhere if you wanna see 😂 … imagine face reveal but its me sobbing and saying front hallae HAHA

BUT IM SORRY YOU ARE HAVING A HARD TIME AND IF YOU EVER NEED TO TALK I AM HERE CAUSE I AM HARD TIME TALKER TOER PRESIDENT ACTUALLY

WELL I CERTAINLY HAVE LOOKED AT THE FIC…. IT IS NOT COMING… BUT OTHER THINGS ARE 🫠 IT IS IN MY TABS THOUGH DW IT WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN UNLESS SOMEONE CLOSES MY TABS

#b: 🤤 anon #BRO ARE YOU ALRIGHT 😭😭 #I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER #ITS A BAD SEASON FOR IT TOO #ITS GONNA BE OKAY I PROMISE SCHOOL IS THE WORST BUT YOUVE GOT THIS I PROMISE

[yk-im-no-good]

omfg

ok tbh my (1) follower DONT READ THIS ACTUALLY ILL END MY LIFE AND PUT YOU ON MY SUICIDE NOTE. im being emo under the keep reading

tbfh ive locked myself in my room since like 5/6 pm idfk. but it's cause I DONT KNOW i was and still am in such a poo mood. liek first my mom promised me yesterday she'd take me to the laundromat today so i can wash my plushies MIND YOU I WAS GONNA PAY FOR ALL OF IT (which isnt sm cuz it's just a bunch of fucking QUARTERS so i wasnt gonna b paying a shartload). and pos NEVERMIND cause she's too tired which is! ok well im not mad she's tired cuz ever since my brother and his kids moved in everythings been 100x stressful for everyone especially her. but idk. maybe it's on me for not seeing this soonerbut she acted like she had no idea wht i was talking abt like...ok...and then she was like "later" BUT LATER NEVER CAME. and then my niece broke my pride fan and idk i didn't get mad at her but i was upset asf cuz THAT SHIT MEANS A LOT TO ME ? like idk i got it at my first pride festival w diana and even if it's just cheap plastic it still holds sentimental value to me. so after tht i just went into my room n listen to sad music which made me even MORE SAD . so i started crying. and den i was like ok well fuck it tumblr theme customizing time. so i did tht and liek. throughout the entire time ive been in my room my niece has been banging on my door, my nephews kept trying to get their dog to fight manchiis thru the crack under my door until i yelled @ them to stop. and den my niece kept banging at my door and i ignored it bc liek. SHE ALWAYS DOES THT EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR EVERY LITTLE DAY. and most of the time ill go along w it cuz liek whatever dude. but i fr didn't wanna be bothered bc i was upset and didn't wanna lash out @ anyone . and then she stopped then liek. in the middle of tumblr customizing my brother knocked on my door and asked if i wanted to eat, i said no LOUDLY CUZ I KNOW IT"S HARD TO HEAR WITH MY MUSIC. and then he left me alone for five mins and then he knocked on my door again and was like vale i cant walk. but i didnt even process w he said cause i didn't even fucking hear him. so i was annoyed and walked out and i see him at the end of the hallway laughing and i go in the kitchen and everyones staring at me giggling. and he was like see she came ^___^ !! and my SIL was like omg she did hehehehe. and even my mom was there laughing. and i felt so fucking embarrassed idk like it felt like they were treating me like a kid. and my brother asked if i wanted to eat again and i was like NO . cause what the fuck is wrong with you like actually. dont fucking humiliate me like that bc if u fr cant walk im not gonna be there for u bitch !!!!! and then my niece started chasing me and trying to get into my room and i was just like . no. and then i started crying again but you know i kept at it for my tumblr theme idgaf. coding this custom cursor through the fucking tears idgaf !!!!!!!!!!! and then my mom called me out to the laundry space asking if i could help her move some stuff for a garage sale into her trunk. n i was liek ok. and then my brother comes and looks at me and asks my mom what she's doing. and then he pats my head and asks if i need help w something and i flinch away from him and say no. then he starts helping my mom with the stuff like picking up 3 of the big ass bags of stuff . and i go back in my room cuz i don't want to talk to him i dont even want to be fucking near him. and then i started crying in my room again. and tbh idk if it's bc im on my period or what. but liek im in such a bad fucking mood

[eeby]

Thinking about my home country after seeing a post that initially i thought was kinda cringe

Like i dont think i have the "right" to have a love/hate relationship w it bc i literally do not live there anymore the last time i was there was in 2014 and ppl there have actual problems and i have my own separate problems

Like the cringiest thing i did from this impulse to reconnect was post on reddit abt like. Slavifying lgbtq+ terms and everyone called it cringe because there's no need. My anxieties about culturally assimilating into my host country have no bearing on the lives of ppl whose host and home country is my home country

and even still, i feel this dread when i think of wht i've lost by coming here, or perhaps its a kind of grief. Dread for the future because honestly what isn't there to dread ablut it. Dread because i know one day i'll go back and it'll be a strange country to me and i'll feel just as out of place as i do here

And it's silly to feel out of place here imo. I've assimilated. Hell, if it weren't for my accent people would think i was born here.a this one Andy Robinson quote comes to mind like "of course you're not a freak you're a white guy" comes to mind or it was different sorry i do 't remember it perfectly

And this feeling is either entriely within me or it manifests in others because i go do some balkan shit ior say smth about my home country or talk about what i eat at home.

Wrapping back tk my main point i just feel its silly of me to still feel so much shit about my home country when i've pretty much perfectly fit in here. My brother said it himself, i'm not very <our culture> and fuck my thoughts are even in english and so much of how i see the world is affected by growing up in canada

and of course the fact that im very out of touch with what life is like back "home" if i can even call it that anymore. Like i read the news and such but none of that affects me.

Idk i should sleep. Gotta get up at 6 tmw to catch the 7:00 bus to uni so i can attend a lecture at 10. I fucking hate this housing crisis shit. Also didn't buy my bus pass still and it's really annoying because i told myself i'd get it today but then i forgot. What the hell?? I had two whole days to get it and then i just didn't. And now i have to pay 40% more than i would have.

[gothiero]

every once in a while i'll go down a tumblr rabbit hole of blogs who don't really have a theme ,, they just kinda reblog whatever. they just exist. and like. it's funny to look at their bios and try to read them and its like the most unreadable shit youve ever seen. not because of what it says but because these people will just make it like. hot pink text on a purple background. or like. light yellow text on a white background. or some shit like that. like how do you see that and go "yes this is readable and doesnt make my eyes wanna fall out of my head". people perplex me

#tw body horror #i guess #idk im just saying things #i feel like im forgetting to do something or talk to someone or something and i dont know wht #and so i am making tumblr posts #ouggfhhh its 2 am i shouldve gone to sleep 3 hours ago when ***** *** ******* ** ** ** but NOOOO i have to be difficult #lol ........... 🤨👍 #daron shhh

[butchez]

sigh ... a lot of the conversations abt godot on here kind of bother me but idc enough abt godot to wanna add anything to it .

#i might make a post abt it anyways cos im an aqua mars but HMPH . #jude talks #well . if i dont make a post . wht i wanna get across is that its common in colorist narratives to paint poc as misogynist #to like . compare them to the progressive lightskinned characters .which is definitely what aa3 does #and that brand of feminism really shldnt be taken at face value right cos its fucken racist #but like ..... godot in story is still definitely a misogynist like even outside of the english translation. right #and wht upsets me is that whenever theres a discussion abt his misogyny theres NEVER any discussion abt the colorism behind that writing #and whenever theres a discussion abt the colorism its usually dismissive of the misogyny #like idk cant we talk about both . theyre pretty clearly connected #also idk how much of this in specific is like. just my interpretation but i feel like godot in the eng translation at least is like . #clearly coded as hispanic . which rly rubs me the wrong way considering how like flirty (?) he is with mia idk . its stereotypey #DAM ended up rambling for 8 full tags maybe i SHOULD just make a post #oh um edit: my third tag says poc where it shld say darkskinned people . oops

[immren]

i feel like i have to constantly stop myself from complaining about fire emblem bc . its fire emblem. its :poop:

#sometimes i think abt the mlm options and i sigh so heavily #and how they treat mentally ill characters #im just talking abt fe3h bc i have no interest playing any of the older games #i just want to say that dimitri and jeritza bother me a lot. like #IDK ok im not. gonna go on a tangent again #txt #actually i will #like its Sure Something they made characters with '''scary''' mental illnesses and made them very violent #(scary is in quotations bc im being very sarcastic bc ppl believing that sort of thing is so stupid) #jeritza with DID and has a serial killer alter....... Really..... #dimitris psychosis being treatted like that... i guess tht could be blamed on the story telling and faerghus's lack of actual therapy LOL #faerghus's whole thing about their society basically encouraging violence and shit like that. idk #i guess i can see /why/? dimitri would act like that bc of the environment hes in. and like nobdy seemed to have any idea whts been going on #except like felix. but felix is felix. tbh dedue mightve known as well . i only know bits and pieces abt AM through fandom mitosis #oh my god i have no idea if i make sense. this is pure rambling everyone