#idk we’ll see how i feel tomorrow but i am leaning towards starting 2 i just miss her so bad

[vigilskeep]

don't get seduced by the da2 siren song and skip awakening, think of Sigrun

i’m sorry the captain of the siren’s call is luring me away...

#I’LL COME BACK FOR YOU MY LOVE... #idk we’ll see how i feel tomorrow but i am leaning towards starting 2 i just miss her so bad #i will come back and play awakening whatever happens it would just be like not rn #i dont want to like. just be pushing through it wanting to play 2 you know

[wrens-aviary]

Trust Me Chapter 2

Hello. Welcome to chapter 2. I hate making websites with html. School is not fun idk why I do this to myself. Sorry that’s unrelated. Here is the next chapter. I am making this like the same time as the movie.

Playlist for chapter 2: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_WXTMoBYYTO0edlpRY4Gr_EeEvnQ-RzS

I open my eyes and stare at the wood ceiling above me drenched in darkness. I’m not sure if I was really asleep or if my eyes were simply closed as my mind wandered. I am not home, but is there really a place for me to call home? Maybe this is the closest I have. The Couffaines seem nice, and Anarka knew my mom. They were friends. Mom. As I think of her my hand reaches to the chain around my neck. This ring is all I have of her. I’ll never take it off.

As I shift in the bed I feel quite... stale is the best word to describe it. I’ve been wearing the same clothes for two days. I didn’t have time to change after going to the hospital and after the plane ride and nap I just took I feel gross. I stand up and move toward the door unsure of the time. I quietly slide my door open and move toward the main deck needing to feel a little less caged.

I breath in deep. The air outside is cool and crisp. It must be late in the night as I can see the stars so clearly. Staring up into the sky I hear the soft strumming of a guitar. I move back toward the stairs and climb past the control deck to the upper deck. Luka is sitting in a chair on the other side of a ping pong (table tennis) table holding a guitar. He looks so peaceful. The music he plays sounds melancholic. It’s beautiful, just like him. What? nope? I didn’t just think that? 

“Did you sleep alright?” He asks without looking away from the water or stopping what he’s playing.

“Not sure,” I respond as I walk to the railing and lean over looking out at the water. The way it reflects the stars is mesmerizing. “Why is it so sad?” I question the tune he’s playing.

“I wouldn’t say its all sad.”

I look back at him and our eyes meet. He smiles softly as my expression remains still. After a moment I turn to look back at the water.

“There’s a girl,” he starts, “she is a friend of my sister, and I like her, but she’s in love with someone else and even if she doesn’t realize it yet I already know that she can’t let him go.”

“And she knows how you feel?”

“Yeah. She’s known for a while. She’s been saying recently she want’s to move on, but I know she’s not ready. I told her to think about things while she’s on her class trip in New York, and I’m afraid that when they get back tomorrow she’s going to tell me what I already know.”

I feel sorry for Luka but it sounds like its best for her to admit things now than string him along only to admit later that she can’t love him the way she loves this other boy. “I hope that she can be as honest about her feelings with you as you were with her. No matter what happens it would be best to make future decisions based on the truth. Even if she can’t let go now she may still want to try and move on with you, and at that point it becomes your decision although...” I pause questioning if I should share my own thoughts or if he’d rather not be swayed in this decision... “I would never want to waste my time loving someone who may never love me back,” I whisper the end, but I am sure he still heard me.

I turn away from the water and move toward the stairs and Luka, “You all wouldn’t happen to have a shower on this boat?” I question lightly hoping to ease the tension in the air.

“Yeah,” he smiles as he moves his guitar and stands from his chair. He’s taller than me. As I look up at him I can’t stop myself from thinking how pretty his eyes are. And in this moment... my stomach growls... yeah... it sounds like a whole ass whale just fucking signaled that I haven’t eaten in over 24 hours. As I look down in embarrassment hoping that my face isn’t completely red I hear him giggle softly. Holy shit. He just giggled and I think it was the cutest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.

“Sorry, I was so nervous on the plane I couldn’t bring myself to eat anything so I’m a little hungry,” I explain smiling at him shyly. Honestly if that giggle hadn’t given me the strength to persevere I probably would have just curled up into a ball on the deck and died right there.

“How about I show you were the bathroom is and heat up some food while you  shower?” Wow he’s so thoughtful and amazing... AND IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE GET A GRIP GIRL HE LITERALLY JUST TOLD YOU HE LIKES HIS SISTER’S FRIEND!

“Yeah, that would be really nice. Thank you so much Luka, but you really don’t need to make anything. If you show me where the kitchen is I can make something for myself after I shower. I wouldn’t want you to have to cook just for me.”

“I was kind of hungry anyways so it’s fine. How do feel about spaghetti?”

“Perfect,” I say smiling at him.

“Great!” He begins to move down towards the lower deck and I follow. We pass by a kitchen that I hadn’t noticed before and move back towards the rooms. Just past the rooms Luka slides open a door and turns on a light. It’s a small, but nice looking bathroom. I’m rather surprised how little clutter there is in the bathroom given the state of the rest of the boat. “There are clean towels under the sink and we all use the same shampoo and bodywash, you can use a small wash rag from under the sink for now and we’ll get you your own loofah tomorrow. There should be an unopened toothbrush in the cabinet above the sink as well. I’ll be in the kitchen whenever you finish.”

-in the shower-

As I wash up I can’t help but admire the soap the Couffaine’s use. Luka must always smell really nice. That may be the creepiest thing I’ve ever thought about another person ohmygod please I need to stop. I am only thinking these things because I’m trying to distract myself from the shit show that is my life in this moment. Yeah. That’s it. It’s not like I could actually like this guy. I barely know him he’s just being nice and I’m feeling lonely that’s it.

As soon as I step out of the shower and begin to dry off I realize I didn’t grab any clean clothes from my room.

“Crap,” not even a second later I hear a soft nock at the bathroom door. “Hello?”

“Hey y/n, I realized after I started cooking you may not have anything to change into so I grabbed one of my tee-shirts and some sweatpants for you if you want them.” 

Ohmygod is he a saint? wtf this boy is not even real I swear.

“Yeah, I’ll take you up on that,” I respond as I wrap my towel around me and slide the door open half way hiding most of my body behind it and leaning a bit to see Luka holding a small pile of neatly folded clothing... is he... blushing??? Wow that’s fucking adorable.

“Thank you Luka,” I say as I reach out to accept the clothing he’s offered to me. As he gives them to me our hands touch and I swear my entire being got a whole two degree’s warmer.

“I’ll go wait in the kitchen. The pasta’s done so I’ll just split it into two bowls.”

“Yeah I’ll be there in a minute. Thanks again Luka, for the clothes and for cooking, and everything else really. You’ve treated me really well since I got here. It means a lot to me,” I say as I look to the side of the doorway unable to keep eye contact with the boy. As I slowly look back to him I see him smiling at me. He really does have a sweet smile. “Anyways, I’m gonna change now,” I say as I realize that I’m standing before Luka still wrapped in a towel.

“Yeah, I’ll see you in the kitchen,” he says as he turns around and I slide the door shut. Is my heart beating fast? I don’t know anymore. As I begin to pull on the clothes he handed me I feel much more comfortable. The tee-shirt is black, soft, and just a little baggy on me, and the sweatpants are the same. 

After towel drying my hair a bit I hang up the towel to dry and exit the bathroom turning the light off as I go. I walk toward the kitchen and find Luka sitting at a kitchen island with a bowl of spaghetti sitting before him. He seems to be writing in some sort of notebook as he waits.

“Hey,” I say as I slide onto the barstool next to him and look at the bowl in front of me. There’s still a bit of steam coming off of it.

“Hey, I hope the clothes aren’t too big,” he responds as he sits the notebook down on the counter. I only saw a bit of the inside, but it looked to be staff paper. He must compose a lot of music he was working in the back of the notebook.

As I look up from the notebook I meet his gaze and realize I hadn’t responded yet, “Oh yeah they’re great actually. I always prefer loungewear to be a bit big on me.” He nods in response and we both begin eating. It’s a comfortable quite as we sit there eating together. 

Before I know it I’ve finished my bowl and I feel quite full. I look up to see that Luka has also finished eating. He’s smiling at me.

“Thank you. It was really good,” I smile back at him.

“No problem. I’m usually hungry so if you ever want to eat with some company just text me.”

“Oh... I don’t have a phone,” I respond and he looks a tiny bit surprised. “My father didn’t like my mother and I having access to people other than him.” At my explanation Luka furrows his brows. He looks concerned. “He’s not a very good man. That’s why I’m here. My mother is dying, and if I stayed there he would have controlled me the same way he did her so she sent me away.” I reach up to stroke the ring on my necklace as I speak. “Apparently our mother’s were friends when they were younger. They were even in a band together.” I smile as I imagine how happy and free my mother must have felt back then.

I sigh as I lean back in my chair and place my hands down on the counter in front of me. Luka slowly moves his own hand over mine and holds it. We look at each other and as he smiles at me and squeezes my hand lightly he speaks, “I’m glad you’re here y/n, and I promise I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you’re happy here.”

“Thank you Luka.” I don’t know who this other guy that his crush likes is, but he must be a superhero or something because I don’t think any normal person could outshine Luka Couffaine.

After helping Luka clean up we head back toward our rooms.

“How about I take you out tomorrow to get anything you need?” Luka offers.

“I’d like that. Thank you Luka... I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight.” I say before sliding open my door and slipping into my room. Just before I close it I hear him respond with a soft goodnight.

As I lay in my bed and drift off to sleep I find myself thinking of the soft sad tune that Luka was playing earlier on the upper deck. It was beautiful, but I hope that it will change. Luka deserves to be happy and I want to hear him play a song that is warm and hopeful because that is how he makes me feel.

#luka couffaine #luka couffaine x reader #mlb fanfic #mlb luka #mlb #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanfic #miraculous #miraculous lb #miraculous luka #waptrustme

[timelordthirteen]

Killing Time 4/?

Detective Weaver/Belle French, Mature

Summary: A Woven Beauty Law & Order-ish AU. Written for Writer’s Month 2019.

Chapter Summary: Flashback: Weaver and Belle get a start on the case.

Notes: Meanwhile, back at the hall of justice... You didn't think I was going to give up the bed sharing goodness that soon did you? ;) Okay, I am in the next chapter, but I need to balance present with past. I might try alternating chapters if that seems reasonable? IDK. I'm winging it here y'all. For the Writer's Month prompt #7: sports.

Warnings: Nothing much for this chapter, just the usual references to the crime. Please see AO3 for complete warnings and tags.

[AO3]  Previous: [1] [2] [3]

12 weeks ago...

“Sports? Seriously?”

Weaver rolled his eyes and dropped his head back to look up at the ceiling before he turned around. He pointed at the television mounted on the wall of Belle’s office with the remote that was still in his hand.

“You said ‘no news channels’ because they’re too distracting,” he snapped. “Movies with guns and explosions seemed inappropriate, and if I have to listen to another home renovation show I’ll fucking shoot something. The city only pays for basic cable. That makes our choices the Weather Channel, that will repeat the same useless, and probably wrong, forecast every half hour, or...”

He paused to gesture exaggeratedly at the TV as though he was displaying it on a game show. “Premier league.”

She huffed and stalked to her desk. “Fine, but keep it down so I can think.”

He gave another brief gaze up to the ceiling and then set the remote back where he found it, echoing her with a quiet but annoyed, fine.

“Court today?” he asked, noting the slim, navy pencil skirt and suit jacket she was wearing, with what she always referred to as a ‘standard issue’ white blouse.

Belle sighed audibly and dropped into her desk chair. “Yeah. Branson’s lawyer is filing everything he possibly can, so I spent all morning fielding that, and then I covered a continuance this afternoon for Mal. But starting tomorrow, my caseload is officially down to just this.”

She swept her hand towards the stacks of boxes and the large, blank whiteboard.

Weaver stood by the leather sofa, his hands on his hips as his eyes moved over the veritable mountain of evidence they had to go through. All they’d managed that first day was moving things around in her office and dragging the largest whiteboard they could find up from storage. That had been trickier than anticipated when they discovered it wouldn’t fit in the elevator unless they squeezed themselves into the corners and put it diagonally. Of course that took them a solid fifteen minutes of arguing to achieve.

If they couldn’t even get setup without being at each other's throats, he wasn’t sure how weeks of building a case was going to go.

“Where do you want to start?” he asked finally.

She frowned and sagged a little in her seat. She was already tired and done with today, but they needed to get started sooner rather than later. This case was the kind that could make or break a career, and there were far too many victims and victims families depending on her, a whole city in fact. It was something she kept trying not to think about, but that succeeding in keeping her up half the night.

Stretching her arms up, she bent to one side and then the other, trying to work out the knots in her spine before she answered. “The board?”

He nodded slowly and then moved to the whiteboard. There was a large pack of markers sitting on the ledge and he wasted no time in opening it and dumping them all into his palm before turning and holding them up like playing cards for her to see.

“Pick a color, any color.”

He wagged his eyebrows, and she laughed in spite of herself. “Red.”

Three hours and thirty dollars in Chinese takeout later, they had managed to get through one half of one box, and about a third of the information they had on victim number one.

“Oh come on!” Belle exclaimed, popping up off the sofa and bouncing on her bare feet. She’d ditched her heels almost immediately, and then her stockings about an hour into their work. “I cannot believe it’s going to end in dual red cards and a fucking tie. What the hell?”

Weaver watched her, bemused, and leaned back on the sofa. “I told you not to cheer for bloody Arsenal.”

She shot him a glare and then sat down, reaching for one of the takeout boxes. The chopsticks rattled around inside it, and she tipped it towards her to find it empty. “Did you eat the rest of the noodles?”

He held up his hands, feigning innocence. “Don’t look at me, oh, Queen of the Spicy Peanut Sauce.”

Her feeble swat at his leg only made him snicker. He relaxed against the sofa, and watched her from the side as she stacked the containers and tucked them back in the plastic bag they’d been delivered in. They’d spent so many nights like this, both at work and at home. If he closed his eyes, it could almost be four years ago, when another case introduced them and eventually brought them together, but there were far too many miles between then and now.

Weaver had lost the leather jacket minutes into their work, and rolled up his sleeves. It should have distracted her all that much, but for some reason it did. There was a weird intimacy in seeing someone be comfortable in your presence and your space. She wondered if he thought the same of her, and then pushed it aside, dumping the bag into the trash bin by her desk, and then turning to face the board. She read over what they had posted and arched her back, pressing a hand against her spine in a vain attempt to crack something.

Overall, it was going to be a fairly standard case board, with a picture of the first victim, a woman named Molly Macreedy. She was everything people loved about cases like this; she was young, pretty, and full of hope. Even her name sounded good, with a nice little bit of alliteration that made it easy to stick in people’s minds. It was a sad but true fact about anything like this, it helped when the victim was likable. They’d taped a picture of her at her college graduation under her name, written in red, and listed out all the particulars of the general crime scene, and a brief timeline leading up to when they believed she was killed.

That was the crux of the issue.

Nick Branson had been caught red handed - quite literally as his hands were covered in blood - trying to dump the fifth victim’s body. Later, they found Henry Mills, unconscious and tied up in Nick’s apartment. It was easy from there to tie Branson to the others, but his lack of confession meant they needed to work out the details of each murder on their own. DNA was great, but it wasn’t always enough. People wanted to know the where, when, and how. They wanted the existence of the DNA explained, and, in their minds, why any of it happened in the first place.

As if it was possible to find reason in something so senseless.

“Penny for your thoughts,” Weaver said.

His voice was soft, and Belle blinked, only just realizing that he’d turned off the television. She sighed. “I’m not sure they’re even worth that.”

He ran the back of his up and down her arm, shoulder to elbow, a light soothing motion. She wanted to lean into it, let his knuckles press just a little harder and ease some of the tension she’d been carrying all day. That was something he’d always been willing to do for her, a neck rub here, a foot massage there, purely for the sake of touching her and being close to her.

“There’s just so much,” she said finally. “I don’t know, you know? How to get through all of it.”

Weaver resisted the urge to put his arm around her. He knew she meant more than she was saying. It went beyond how to physically get through the boxes and folders and reports. It was how to survive the whole exercise, how to read about blood, injuries, wounds, and causes of death, and go home at the end of the day not feeling like you’d been through it yourself. It was how to live with it, and how to move on from it when it was all done, if any of them every really did in this job.

He swallowed and let his hand drop to the sofa, a hair’s breadth from Belle’s. “The same way we always do.”

Except that was a bit of a lie. Sure he’d probably finish of most days with a scotch, neat, but it would be at Roni’s instead of home, and there wouldn’t be a second glass with red wine in it for Belle, or the comfort of cool sheets and a warm body. But they would both still understand, still be able to look at each other and know from the dark circles and endless pots of coffee, the toll it was taking on the inside.

“Yeah.”

Her voice was barely above a breath, and then he felt something touch the edge of his hand. He glanced down to see her pinky brushing against his, and he turned his hand over to catch it between his thumb and index finger. She looked down suddenly, and then her eyes flicked up to his face. He tried to hold it back, but his lips twitched in amusement anyway, and she smiled.

“Sorry.”

He shrugged, letting go of her finger, somewhat reluctantly. “Don’t be. You always fidget when you’re thinking.”

“Yeah,” she said again, her head dropping for a second. Then she looked up, her stare fixing on Molly’s picture as she took a deep, steadying breath. This was the most civil they’d been to each other in a while, and also the longest amount of time they’d been in the same room. They didn’t even sign the divorce papers together, just shuttled them back and forth between lawyers.

“We need a plan,” she said.

Weaver pushed to his feet and walked over to the rest of the boxes, still neatly stacked under the window of her office, organized by which ones went with which victim.“Divide and conquer?”

He looked back at her over his shoulder at Belle, with raised eyebrows. “I’ll do the timelines, you do the lab results?”

“And we’ll do the autopsy reports together?”

She sounded almost hopeful, as if looking at the grittiest details together might lessen their blow on the psyche. It wouldn’t, but at least they’d weather it together.

His mouth curved crookedly. “Whatever the lady wants.”

#rumbelle #rumbelle fic #woven beauty #woven beauty fic #my woven beauty fic #killing time #fic #i has a banner now

[bloodpacks-archive]

Is Our Bond Ionic or Covalent?

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: You and Peter hate your chemistry class, but studying together is fun

Warnings: None? Maybe one swear word, the impending doom of school coming tomorrow, fluff?? Lil bit of pining idk

Note: I only wrote this because my school starts tomorrow and I’m honestly gonna cry. Also this teacher is 100% a real teacher I had last year (he was the worst please help me) If i see him again this year I’m gonna scream

If there was one thing you knew, it was that you hated this class. It wasn’t that science was the worst thing in the world, or that you didn’t understand it. The reason you hated 10th Grade Advanced Placement Chemistry, with all your heart, is because the teacher was easily the most boring, over-explaining, put-you-to-sleep-while-explaining-reactions person that could have possibly existed. Luckily enough, your lab partner, Peter Parker, agreed. Throughout all of class you two would pass notes back and forth about just about anything. If flirting happened to be a common occurrence, neither of you pointed it out. Secretly though, you hoped Peter realized what he was doing as much as you did. A few of your favorite conversations are as follows:

When you had just gotten back from a family trip to Hawaii:

I’m so jet lagged and none of these notes are making sense. Why is he talking about physics?? Isn’t this chemistry??

I can text you my notes tonight and- oh my god why are they catapulting a monkey

Is that fake?? I can’t tell. Also I AM in the right class, aren't I? CHEMISTRY?

Oh god. Ok we’re back to reactions… nevermind… can someone tell him that we already know the formula for water

Not my job, you can raise your hand and deal with his lecture

Technically, we’ll both have to deal with his lecture and… oh my god is Izzy honestly asking ANOTHER question

Shhh Parker, calm. We’ll get through this. We just have half an hour to go

HALF AN HOUR?

When he walked in late to find you half asleep:

Hey y/n, really that bad without me?

Pretty sure I almost died of boredom, thank god you’re here. Where were you anyway??

Ortho appointment, gotta keep my perfect teeth looking perfect.

As Mr. Olson droned on about single-replacement and double-replacement reactions using a ballroom dancing analogy, you sat at the lab table alone. Peter was no where to be found, probably doing something with the Stark internship, and leaving you to die in this Godforsaken classroom. You sat on your stool, absentmindedly doodling when you heard the door to the classroom open.

“Mr. Parker! There you are! Care to explain why you’re late?” Olson said, stopping his ballroom dancing explanation mid-sentence.

“Sorry sir, Mr. Stark needed me,” Peter answered, slowly slipping his way through the classroom to get to his seat. Olson sighed before returning to his stupid analogy. If you were to say you weren’t concerned for Peter and is undying commitment to the Stark internship, you would be lying. It scared you half to death, you could see the bags under his eyes and were there bruises on his arms? It terrified you, you liked the guy. He was nice, funny, smart, he deserved to have an easy life. Stark industries, however, didn’t seem to agree and was determined to work him as hard as it could.

Stark keeping you away from class for the third day in a row? Peter, what’s going on?

It’s nothing, y/n. We still on for studying tonight?

As long as Mr. Stark doesn’t keep you away

Oh come on! That won’t happen I promise

Oh sure, Peter.

Peter gave you a sorry look for the last comment. He had missed at least three study nights in the past 2 weeks. So you were left to study for the tests the next day alone. The test tomorrow was in this class, and you were in desperate need of someone to study with. Once again, it wasn’t that you were bad at chemistry, it was simply that Olson loved to throw curveballs. And a whole lot of them. An obscure rocket that was mentioned once at the beginning of the unit? Yeah, you’re gonna need to know the name of it, when it launched and where. Due to these terrible questions, the highest grade in the class was held by Peter himself. A 94.32, barely an A. You stood close behind, 94.02, .03% away from an A-. To say you were stressed was an understatement. Besides, any alone time with Peter you could get, you were going to take.

When the time rolled around for Peter to come to your apartment, there was only quiet. You sighed and took out your notebooks, looking over notes upon notes and highlighting those that seemed important. You knew this would happen. The Stark internship was much more important than some girl he probably didn’t even like. You were midway through the unit when you heard a knock on your door. You raced your way down to the door with a smile plastered on your face and opened it to be met with loose curls and brown eyes. Your heart practically burst out of your chest at the sight.

“I am so sorry that I’m late, I took a wrong turn and was completely lost,” He said, shaking out his hair that was now wet.

“Is it raining out there? Come on, get in here. I’ll get you a blanket,” You grabbed his wrist and brought him into your bedroom, throwing and grey blanket over him as he got out his textbook and notebook. “I’m gonna go make us some popcorn, you want anything to drink?”

“Just water is fine, thank you so much, y/n. You’re the best person on this Earth I swear.” Your heart swelled with pride at the statement, but you covered it up with the sympathetic smile you gave him before leaving your room to make the popcorn and grab the waters for the both of you. You walked back in and set everything in front of the two of you, sitting down across from Peter.

“Ok, I think I’m good on most of this stuff, but is there anything we should know?” Peter asked, leaning forward to grab a handful of popcorn, brushing his hand against yours as your reached forward as well. You fought back the blush that attempted to make its way up your neck.

“Guessing from past experiences, everything. But in all actuality, you missed single and double replacement today, you can borrow my notes from that. There was also some stuff on combustion that you missed if you want to look at my past notes from that,” You pushed your notebook towards Peter while continuing to do the study guide that was online.

“Why don’t I just do the study guide with you, come over here,” He said, pulling your computer over to his side. You rolled your eyes and scooted over to where Peter was sitting, putting your laptop so it rested on his left leg and your right leg.

“If you don’t know anything, just tell me, alright?” Peter nodded before leaning into you to get a better look at the computer screen. You felt your skin heat up as you continued to scroll through the guide, each of you spewing out answers and Peter occasionally asking you what something was, which lead to you giving him a short explanation of it and an entirely too stupid trick in order to remember it (Combustion, bus, in a bus you feel like you’re running low on oxygen, it’s a reaction including oxygen!).

By the time you were nearing end of the study session, Peter was practically in your lap, and your arm was supporting the two of you by resting behind Peter. You hadn’t entirely realized how close you were until you looked over at Peter, “And of course you know about covalent and ionic-“ Your voice trailed off when you looked at him. Those stupid brown eyes were going to be the death of you. His hair was still a mess from the rain, one strand resting in front of his eyes.

“Lost for words, y/l/n?” Peter whispered, moving ever so closer to you.

“Just a little bit,” You teased, pushing the strand of hair out of his face before closing the gap between the two of you. The kiss was awkward, noses bumped into each other, whispered laughs were in between each breath and the angle wasn’t the best, but it was perfect. All too soon, you pulled away, “What about Liz?”

“Who?” Peter said, before pushing the laptop to the side so he could just hold you.

“It was about time you made a move, Parker,” You said, laughing and putting your head on his shoulder.

“I could say the same to you, y/n.” You laughed and kissed his cheek, seeing a blush creep up his neck.

“Ok ok, back to studying. Ionic and Covalent bonds, what’s the difference?” Peter laughed before returning his focus back to the computer, letting the space between the two of your continue to get smaller as time passed.

The next day, Peter passed you a note.

Date tonight at my place? I have a Spanish test…

You muffled a laugh with your hand before writing out a quick of course, might want to prepare for that test before i come over though, can’t promise we’ll do much studying… Star Wars Marathon instead?

Peter practically fell off of his stool in excitement and you laughed before seeing Mr. Olson turn around to give you a stern look. You mumbled an apology only to look over and see Peter smirking at you. Maybe 10th Grade Advanced Placement Chemistry wasn’t the worst class in the entire world after all.

#tom holland #Tom Holland x Reader #Tom Holland Imagine #Tom Holland Drabble #Tom Holland Blurb #Peter Parker #Peter Parker x Reader #Peter Parker Imagine #Peter Parker Blurb #Spider-Man #Spider-man homecoming

[taytaybooks]

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MUSICALS THREAD #2: AMÉLIE

In the previews where they each hold a prop on a pole and then all together the props assemble the fly they all sang about ahhh😍😍 it’s so clever

PROLOGUE: TIMES ARE HARD FOR DREAMERS

The instrumental- it’s so soothing

“I can see the world I’m dreeaming…all arouuund me”

The change from soothing instrumental to jaunty music 😍

WORLD’S BEST DAD

“As my heart fills with love” The “ba bums” and “ahhs” after that line to show her heartbeat ahh and how everyone (the ensemble) hide behind the door and comes out when they sing the “ahhs” for the heartbeat and how they dance oh this show is too much😍

“We can keep her heartbeat stable

Your school is the kitchen table now”

“Would you like to name him?”

“Fluffy”

*looks of disdain and confusion*

WORLD’S BEST FRIEND

The instrumental at the start😍

The fact that a grown man wears a fish costume on his head and sings onstage I mean wow😂

“Listen to your crazy mom droning on now I’m her bla bla bla bla bla” lmao

“Your parents are crazy

But you can count on meeee” the dancing in this scene oml and the fact that a man dressed as a fish holds a smaller fish and smacks it on the ground so it “flops around”

When the instrumental turns slow again😭 And it’s meant to be a sad part but the fish is scootering around on stage singing “goodbye” in a warbled voice😅

WORLD’S BEST MOM

“We’ll be spending the day at Notre Dame” I love how this is sung

“Now the whole world of Paris picks up speed” I love the way everyone on the train moves forward and backward to show the train’s movement

The “ahhs” before Amandine prays for a son

The nuns/holy people with outrageously huge hats😂 And then the holy person with a dinosaur head on his head😂😂

The dummy hitting Amandine and killing her😂😂 and the chalk on the backdrop depicting a dead silhouette with “mom” next to it

Her dad memorialising the mom with a gnome she hated😂😂😂

TIMES ARE HARD FOR DREAMERS

PIPPA SOO IN GENERAL TBH

“All of these towns I’ve never heard of racing paaaast”

“It isn’t what I have, it’s only what I have in store

That matters now, the past can only fade!”

“And I might be a dreamer

But it’s gotten me this far” this resonates with me idk why

“My own museum full of paintings I look through!

Where everything is clear!

It isn’t where I am

it’s only where I’ll go from here

That matters now!

And I am not afraaaid!

As everything I’ll ever need appears

This is how my world gets maaaaade” especially that last note😍

The set change right before the song finishes😍

GOING ROUND IN CIRCLES deserved to stay on the cast recording☕️🐸

THE COMMUTE

“Stopping atop St. Martin’s canal

Skipping a stooone”

“She cracks créme brûlée”

“And how many couples in Paris are having an orgasm right at this moment! ….Fifteen!” Because every Broadway show needs some nasty in there

“Later this evening her life will chanaaange”

THE BOTTLE DROPS

THE FACT THAT A FRIENDS CLIP IS PLAYING ON THE TV SET AHHHHH

Honestly the instrumental to this song and like every song is just so beautiful😍😍

“Fingers slip, a bottle drops, and falling in slow motion”

The instrumental change😍😍😍

“Slowly crack the treasure open”

“A watch that’s waiting to be wound

A treasure waiting to be found

I am Howard Carter stepping into Tutankhamen’s tomb” ahhh

And while the ensemble is speaking I love the small “Give back the box” and “I have to try” in the background

“If I did I could be like Lady Diiii!” That note tho

THREE FIGS

is so jaunty oml yes

“You’re my best friends inside the Seeeeeine”

“Figs all in a BUNCH” the way he says bunch cracks me up every time

“Figaro is bluuue

There’s nothing on his plate

What’s Lucien to doooo?

He finds the guy a date!“

THE GIRL WITH THE GLASS

“Why is it that someone so young and so full of life spends every night alone at her window?

…Unless all her friends are dwarves and I can’t see them"😂😂 good old Dufayel

“Are you an artist?

Every day I come to a canvas with palette and brush

and I ask myself the same question” shit just got deep guys

“Paintings, these paintings"😍

“But in the end it always comes down to…heeeeer”

“But the girl with the glass looks away”

“Just a young girl who doesn’t belong to anywhere,

anywheeeere or anyoooooone” this really shows how lost Amélie can be and its relatable af TBH

HOW TO TELL TIME

“Look down, Monsieur Bretodeau, doooown” I love how she says this honestly😍😂

“On the ledge, a metal box”

“Unlock the box”

“Here’s how to tell time

How to tell time

How to tell time

How to tell time

How to teeeeell

A cognac please!” This whole part is sung so well ahhh

TOUR DE FRANCE

So jaunty and upbeat I love it

“Listen to the squeak of the bakery cart

Leaving a trail of breadcrumbs”

“Looking through the glass

focused on the feast in the grocery window” I love the way she sings this gah Pippa you angel😍😍

“An envelope opens

A cat in a hallway

A filament flashes, flickers and dies

And there goes a hat

Thrown in the air

Thrown in the aiiir” The ensemble around them and the jazz hands ahhhh

“I can feel every stranger in Paris just waiting to collide

How a heart can pull like a moon as we circle each other

Then crashing together

We end up open wide"😍😍

The "ahhs” before she sings “I can see everything clearly now from heeeeere”

GOODBYE, AMÉLIE

The video showing Amélie doing good around the world😂😂😂

The fact that it’s sung be an Elton John lookalike like whattttt and also how the lookalike has a glittery suit and purple hair😂

“We’re an ocean of rowboats you decided to save” I just really like this line

The “oohs” in the background ahhh

Oh, where will we go

Oh, who will appease us” the way they sing this😍

“Saving orphans!

Stopping fires!

I’ve got the high notes and

I’m singing with the choir!

YEAAAAAAAH!” SHE GOT THE HIGH NOTES ALRIGHT DAMN GIRL

BACKYARD

“I’m thinking of shaving my head

And I really want to try crack” ok the fact that the Pippa Soo said this is explanation enough

“Dad you should come and visit me”

“Nope” so blunt😂

“You’re coming with me” cheeky Amélie

The gnome getting excited about going with the Stewardess mmhmmm

WHEN THE BOOTH GOES BRIGHT

I love how the ensemble dresses up and ‘takes photos’ during the song

“There’s the girl you were

There’s the trip abroad

There’s your father’s smile

There’s the face of God” this has like a really cool nostalgic feeling to it

“There’s when she said yes

There’s the next ten years

There’s the loneliness when she disappears” nostalgia and sadness😍

“What’s the use of trying to hide

Or tearing yourself in two” This seems literal and metaphorical and I love it

SISTER’S PICKLE

“You have to give it back to him. Or you could imagine relating to someone you never meet, build no relationship. Become a nun!”

*actually dresses up as a nun as a disguise to give the book back to Nino in a FUCKING sex shop ok then Amélie*  

“Can I help you?”

“No just browsing"😂😂😂

BASICALLY THE WHOLE SONG LMAO

“He’ll think that I’m a nun

And I am not a nun

He’ll think that I am chaste

And I’m not that chaste

Or I could run awaaaay

Leave his book on the shelf

By the lube and the lingerieeee” out of context this is very weird but I love it😂

“It’s hard to go unseen

At least in this instance with so little distance between” I love this because everyone tries to hide the bad parts but you can’t really do that once you get to know someone well which is sort of what she’s afraid of, but not really?

“I’m not finished with the boy- I mean the book

So I will hold him- hold it till tomorrow” mmhmm girl suuuure keep being in denial sister

And that part at the end where the instrumental changes and ahhhh

“This is so weird” haha no kidding Nino😂

HALFWAY

THIS SONG IS A MASTERPIECE

The instrumental gahhh I swear this song makes me cry

The red fabric backdrop with the equations and waves projected onto it is so cool😍

“But whenever the boat gets halfway there

There is always halfway more”

“In my mother’s schoolhouse

There was always halfway to goo

To gooooo”

“I hear you breathing"😂😂😂

“Who are you?”

“I’m a mystery wrapped in an enigma trapped in a paradox disappearing into thin air”

“Me too"😂

"Little boat, big ocean

I’m the girl with the copper spyglass

who prays that today she will spot her shore

All at once a lighthouse

All at once through the copper spyglass

A light telling me to lean in on the oar

I start to row

But before I can get anywhere

From point A to point B

I am at that kitchen table

where I’ll always be at sea"😍😍😍 this part always gets me when I’m feeling lost and alone and I love the visual projection of it with Amélie moving towards Nino and the sailboat projected onto the red fabric moving towards him too, but then both the boat and Amélie stop and move back away from him ahhh😍💔

"Little boat big oceaaaan” ahh Pippa why is your voice so magical

WINDOW SEAT

“Unsuspended in mid-air And I can see everything from here”

“If I could reach you from Machu Picchu

Then I would say everything I would give anything” this is sweet even if it’s fabricated haha

THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE GNOME

Basically the fact that a grown man is dressed as a gnome and singing this fucking song lmao  

I love how they project the Polaroids for the audience to see

Also the fact that the flight attendant/stewardess and the gnome have a little romance going on

“I admit he looks good as a guard

But I want him back in my backyard”

“Do you see that crack in his clay”

“His black paint’s fading to grey”

“Travelling the world is tremendous

But for a garden gnome it’s gotta be hard” poor guy just wants his damn gnome back man

“The stewardesses, they always wonder, doesn’t matter where I roam

She asks "are you one of Santa’s elves?”

And I say “ma'am I am a gnome”

“Back before these feelings made me feeeel thingsss” this is so relatable honestly

“Dad this is Suzaaaanne” girl I see you😂 but seriously Amélie is so pure she matchmakes her own dad and boss gah

THIN AIR

“The frame tries to hide you

Just like a disguise

But I know that face

From the look in your eyes

So I’m reaching out to you”

“Whooooo are you now

When all youuu have is thiiin aiir around youuuu”

“It’s easy to vanish when no one’s around

Your footsteps fall silent as snow on the ground

And I may be hammered but I can hear my heart pound

And it’s reaching out to youuu

Reaching out to youuuuu”

As I’m typing this I’m realising I very well may just be in love with the whole song….

Also ADAM CHANLER-BERAT

“It’s too easy to disappear these days

There you go but nobody sees it

You leave a photo behind for a stranger to see

But now you’re so close I swear I can feel you

No more stories just show me the real you

And I promise that I’ll let you see the real me” awwww Nino😍

“So who are you now

When all I see is a face that hides way love until

You’re alone in a place you

Hide away until you’re alooooone

With thin aiiiiiiiiiiir

Arouuuuund you” 😍😍😍especially how the first line is sung

WRITING ON THE WALL

Amélie’s disguise when she spray paints the quote lmaooo😂

So this song is pretty short but it sounds so ethereal and beautiful😍

Like honestly who would even think it’d be a random as quote from an aspiring writer😂😂

BLUE ARROW SUITE

SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SONG I LOVE IT WITH ALL MY HEART

The soft, magical sounding instrumental after “bring five francs”

“Here on a hill

There sits a great cathedral

Where I’ve left a trail

That only goes so far

Here I can keep him moving forward

And keep things as they are

Halfway to love

And just close enough

To Sacre-Couer"😍😍😍 it’s so beautifully sung and the words ahhh

"I know my heart Is speaking with a murmur

Making the sound that only I can hear

All I can manage is a whisper

Of this heartbeat trapped inside

Here in this place

Grant me the grace

To be amplified” and then the instrumental changes ahhh it’s so beautiful

The hats the ensemble in the carousel are wearing😂😂

“Maybe I can try and stay

Just stand right here

Here he comes!

Screw that!

Run away!” Amélie is forever relatable and so cute😂😍

And then the “ahhs” after the last verse (if you saw my Anastasia post you probably realised I have a thing for “ahhs”)

THE LATE NINO QUINCAMPOIX

The fact that she’s so paranoid and has such an overactive imagination that this whole song is basically her imagining a scenario where he gets hit and almost dies

The part where the ensemble joins in😍

“Current flows through Nino’s arteries

Which stops his heart

As train parts tear his limbs apaaaart” lovely imagery😂😂 and their reactions lmaoo

“Who has time for a guy like that

For a guy who doesn’t know

How to tell time

How to tell time

How to tell

Ahhhhhhh"😍😍 when Nino arrives and everyone else goes crazy lmao😂😂

A BETTER HAIRCUT

The instrumental is so jaunty?upbeat? Idk I just know that I love it

"Everything was going perfect

In the circus

Until the day he dropped me

And then dropped me for the tattooed lady”

“She broke her leg in seven places”

“I did"😂😅 the usual you know

"And it seems that every single guy I know

Has another lady on the side show”

“You know our girl’s a fragile egg”

“Don’t break her heart”

“Or break her leg"😂 this whole song goes from funny to sweet lmao

"She’s not a waitress who will take your order”

“Bring your food or fill your refills”

“Except when working at the Windmills” 😂😂 when they forget she actually works as a waitress lmao but very good message, this musical is/was gold😍 I miss it so much😭😭

“Can you prove?”

“That youuuuu are a looooover for the ages

Can you proooove that”

“Youuuuuuu are not highly contagious"😂😂😂

I love that they shove him & his table out of the way so they can dance

"Love is just another diagnosis

Like bacterial vaginosis” Oml this song kills me 😂😂😂 WHO WROTE THESE LYRICS

“I love her and I don’t know her name” Nino is such a sweetheart awww

“All the while while love infects us

The side effect is that love connects us” this extended metaphor is weird af but it works so well and I love it because it also manages to give us all a great message😍👏👏

STAY

THIS SONG IS SO CUTE I LOVE IT

“But don’t expect me to play fair”

“I hear you coming

What can I do to

Drown out this drumming”

“No turning back now that you took the breadcrumbs

And I lost the way

And arrows fall out of thin air

If I could just find the right words to say

Would you stay right there

I like you right there”

“Stay where you are

Safe enough range

Try to move closer

You’ll only get halfway

Pin down your heart

Put out the flame

Don’t come any closer

But don’t move awaaaay”

And the canon effect of Nino and Amélie (he kind of like echoes her?) in “stay where you are” and “pin down your heart”^😍

HALFWAY (REPRISE)

“Is it true that you’ve solved Zeno’s paradox?” I love the way she sings this gah

“I have to do more than stay”

“Even though I am always halfway there”

“I could meet you there halfway” I ship them so much

AND THEN THEY KISSSSSSS

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE

AKA THE SONG I WOULD SELL MY SOUL FOR ITS SO BEAUTIFUL

“Where do we go from here

Now that you are standing by my side

After all there’s more to life than holding you” 😍😍

“After all there’s more to life than we can see

Will there be troubles?

I don’t know

Will there be sweet things?

I hope so

Will there be time to keep on dreaming when this dream is over?” This is so realistic ahhh I want to legitimately cry, such a real and beautiful love😍

“What happens when you can’t hold on

Or when I can’t hold on to you?”

I love the faces they make when taking pictures in the photo booth😂

“What’s gonna happen?

I don’t know

But whatever happens

Here we go

What’s gonna happen

And where do we go

From here?” A perfect ending to a perfect musical that deserved better❤️

Other Threads

Anastasia

#amélie #amélie musical #amélie broadway #broadway #musicals #musical theatre #this musical deserved better #broadway musicals #pippa soo #phillipa soo #adam chanler berat #what i love about musicals thread #amelie musical #amelie

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 4 | “ladies and gays.......the games have OFFICIALLY begun “ - Adam

I was immune three times so far this season. Three times. and FOR WHAT? I'm so screwed if I don't win this immunity challenge. I know I'm a weak link, so if I don't win this, hopefully *dan* doesn't either cause I might have to target him to save my skin. This is where I'm really gonna have to be social over the next day, cause my ass is quite literally on the line right now. I'm not getting 18th-16th, screw this.

ladies and gays.......the games have OFFICIALLY begun, at least for me but hopefully not just for me or uh i might be in trouble... but anywho, another brain went home sorry to this person and right when we all thought a swap of some sort was coming, BOOM a twist of all twists... EVERYONE is going to tribal, that means after this vote, we're gonna be down to 16 people just like that. But before we get there we have to get through immunity and tribal first, i saw that time was one of the tiebreakers and was doing nothing better so i figured lets get this challenge with, its counting how hard can it really be, once again however i completely underestimed my stupid bitchness! i was all the way into the 400s almost through before i MESSED UP .... TWICE ... so in the end i somehow still got 211 which i guess we'll see if that was decent, i dont think ill win but hopefully im just not last. This also means its time to start talking game, i hope no one is scared to talk game because im absolutely not. I'm not here to just sit in the shadows right away, I started messaging just a couple of the people i feel ive built some small connections with and just start to plant seeds about the vote coming up, i dont wanna throw any names out there until at least after we see who wins immunity, but as of now, connor might be a first easy boot?? either that or thats just what people are telling me to blindside me...idk im also still completely shook that the idol is out there, so i really want to vote out whoever has it so i can try to find it again.... but the only problem is i have no idea who has it, it could very well be someone i trust just keeping it to themselves like i wouldve...so we'll see, today is the calm before the storm, and i can tell you the storm is right over the horizon on its way to cause chaos for the beauties because we've been sitting pretty for far too long (pun intened), tomorrow after 9 once we see who wins, thats when i predict at least for me alliance chats and plans will hopefully start coming to fruition and uh hopefully its not me 

When you survived that vote out when you thought you were leaving https://media.giphy.com/media/5GoVLqeAOo6PK/200_d.gif When that twist comes out where three people all leave in the same round https://media.giphy.com/media/W7RVlWfc1O9gY/giphy.gif It's moments like this that make me realize that I should have tried to convince Devon to split up Autumn & Duncan last round. Because if Isaac was here, I could have easily gotten Devon and either Duncan/Autumn on board with voting out Isaac. Now we have to go to tribal AGAIN where we have to vote out a daddy :'( I'm still up in the air about what I want to do. Part of me is thinking about doing 2 options. 1 would be to utilize Devon to split up Autumn/Duncan. OR, I can align with Autumn/Duncan and vote out Devon. It's obvious that Autumn and Duncan are a duo, and I'm almost 100% certain that they'll tell Devon to vote me and me to vote Devon. Doing so gives them full power on who to send home, so I think my best bet is to vote with Devon this round. If Devon is as with me as he says he is, then the vote should tie. If Autumn/Duncan decide to vote me out over Devon, then I would hope Devon allows it to go to a tiebreaker. If they vote Devon, then I might just flip my vote and send Devon out of the game. Devon is a "i'm 100% loyal" type of person but at the same time, he also said the same things to me that he said to Duncan. So I don't trust him 100%. I wouldn't be surprised if the three of them just decided to vote me out. If I happen to win immunity, I might actually consider allowing Devon to go to a tiebreaker. I don't have anything to lose by having Devon and either Autumn or Duncan duke it out in a challenge. Devon sucks at challenges so he'd probably go home anyways, but at least the chance at staying is better than nothing. My goal is to win this challenge first and foremost. I hope that if I win that I have some power or influence in how this vote turns out. Given that I have a 25% chance at being voted out, anything can happen.

its literally so sad to see that the daddies have to go to tribal council. i made sure i didn't f*ck up in the immunity challenge and hopefully i have a good shot at winning it. Granted i survive this vote regardless, its going to be amazing to see the other tribes go to tribal council and test their tribe dynamics.This is like the equivalent of giving everyone a survivor wake up call. Just because we've been sucking doesn't mean we get to be spared by a swap.  No one deserves anything, you have to earn it. Worst comes to worse I would like to think I have to make fire against scott or devon, which at that point if i lose then i would have done everything i can to stay in this god forsaken game. I'm leaning more towards wanting Scott out but obvi if he wins immunity i have no issue voting for Devon. Can you imagine us not swapping after this and then having to go to tribal again!? Its starting to get quite comical that we've had to play so much already and we're not even close to merge. Wish a bitch luck i guess 

Waiting for these results really has me terrified about how I did. Personally, I like to think I did well in that challenge. Not to toot my own horn or sound cocky, but I spent some time practicing beforehand. I went on a word doc and just kept typing numbers a few times. I also practiced breathing techniques so that I wouldn't let nerves get the best of me when it came to the challenge. AND I also played some mantras in my head to remind me to stay focus and not eat into stress. My mantras include "slow and steady wins the race" and "take a deep breath, go with the flow, just do your best, and show what you know." I also gave myself a time limit as to how long I could spend on each part. I allowed myself 13 minutes to go up, and 17 minutes to go down. I wanted more time going down since by the end my hands would get tired and having little time at the end leads to stress/a potential mess up. So I'm glad I paced myself out with it. I was really scared that my challenge wouldn't count at first because my internet froze up right as I was ending. Luckily, I took the time to take screenshots with time stamps on them just in case something happened. Cause at first I was told "you didn't complete it" and that had me PETRIFIED!! Like I desperately need to win this otherwise I'm gonna get voted out. But luckily my screenshots came through and they accepted my score of 533. If I win this immunity, I have a good chunk of power in deciding who gets voted out. And on top of that, there's no immediate consequences for my decisions. From the looks of it, it seems like Autumn and Devon did really bad in that challenge. I'm hoping that Duncan doesn't do better than me. As for this vote, I think Duncan/Autumn are definitely going to vote together. Which means that I need Devon and I to stick together for this vote. If I win immunity, then I am 100% on board with voting with Devon this round. Autumn/Duncan are too strong of a duo and they need to be split up. Otherwise if we're still together on this tribe, I get the boot soon. I realize after this that I need to work on getting new allies in this game. If I can make it up until a swap, I think I have the potential to go far. I plan to make new allies with whoever is on the swapped tribe, and I'll mention that brains tribe is dead and if they need me to prove my loyalty, I'd be willing to vote out the other two remaining brains. We'll see what happens though. If Duncan does win immunity, then I might feel out to see if Duncan/Autumn are honest about voting out Devon and if I get the vibe that they are, I'll jump on that just to get myself to the swap. Ideally, I want Devon around since I know he'll be loyal to me, but this is a situation that is far out of my control. So, let's hope I win immunity this round!

Are all the Socotra people going to leave or like…? RIP Isaac truly, what a king! I am completely expecting a swap soon just because it makes tons of sense numbers wise? I hope we don’t because I have footing on this tribe which doesn’t happen usually so ghfjdksla

So after results, I’m mentally preparing myself for a swap because it WOULD happen yknow? Well this new twist? Has me gagged, gooped, shook, quaking, and confused all at the same time so yay for that! But yeah, it seems we’re having a nice little triple tribal feature tonight so get your popcorn folks cause the show is about to start! This twist does have me sorta shook just cause 3 people are leaving this round and we’ll be at F15… so in my head, this only confirms the fact that someone is gonna come back in the game at merge cause why wouldn’t the hosts do that? Well, I’m keeping an eye out for it all (and for Selener ofc)

Did I want to win this immunity challenge? Yes! Did that happen? No! Is that a bad thing? Honestly, not really! Like I am not the type of player that likes to be on people’s radars whatsoever so not being a winner of this game’s first individual immunity challenge is not something I can particularly mad about! Amir winning is cute like I love that for him <3 Adam did have me spooked that he was winning because he kept mentioning slightly high numbers BUT him and I did about the same so yay for us! While this vote is gonna be messy most likely, I do feel pretty secure and safe? I hate that I feel that way because I stay being caught off-guard when I feel that way but I’ve really focused on getting to know everyone here and letting the strategy come later so yeah (‘:

okay so today was about tying up lose ends. I had to clean up anything that could be used against me, and the main issue in my game right now is that i have built a great relationship with adam and i want him to stay, but my alliance does not want him to stay. My options are to save him with my idol, or convince my alliance to keep him, however, both could completely destroy my game. all 3 of them want adam gone, and its not worth it for me to go against all their wishes and it could make them doubt my loyalty, instead im going with the plan to vote adam out (i am so sorry u dont deserve it). However, i told augusto that adam told me about numbers at the bottom of the cast reveal. I realized that now there is leverage against me, that he or adam could use, so i have told the rest of the alliance about the numbers that adam found, hopefully to show them that im insanely loyal nejkwnfke even tho im not. But now, if i go againt adam, he has no dirt on me at all, and i can go through with the alliance's plan. Furthermore, I have a relationship with both austin and aj, so if adam goes, thats fine, ill just get closer to austin. Replace the relationship. Austin is also way less likely to lie or be a rat than adam would. if i could be swapped onto a tribe with duncan and autumn from the brains, i might just have to scoop them up! but i know autumn and ali are close

Me when I found out I won individual immunity at today's tribal and had the overall highest score out of every person in the game: https://media.giphy.com/media/1kIvUyWrdz88GKgtON/200_d.gif I was NOT expecting to do as well as I thought I did in that challenge. I expected to have won within my tribe, but not beat every single person in the game. i hope this challenge doesn't put a huge target on my back. I'm so happy that I won! Based on the mood of the camp right now, it seems like I needed to win. The only person who spoke to me prior to the challenge was Devon. Duncan's talking to me now, but I feel like it's only because I won immunity. I strongly believe that I needed this immunity otherwise I would have been voted out 3-1. Or at least a 2-2 tie if Devon is actually with me. But knowing that I play a major role in this outcome is a beautiful thing. If there was any tribal that I needed to be immune for, it would be this one. As for what I am thinking for tonight's tribal, I think that Autumn/Duncan are going to vote together this round. So this means that I could either vote with them to eliminate Devon OR I vote with Devon to cause a tie and have a tiebreaker challenge take place. Do I think Devon has a shot at winning this challenge? Honestly no... But I think voting with him has some added benefits. The first one is that it shows to everyone in the game that I'm about loyalty this time around. Secondly if he loses, it allows for me to make connections at a future swap. I can state that Autumn/Duncan are an obvious duo and that I have no allies. Showing off that look could help me gain new allies within the other tribes. Plus if Devon does win the challenge, then that's an ally I have going forward and I can state that vote as a move I made in this game at final tribal. Granted I've made moves so far in every vote during this game, but this is one that I can really emphasize towards me winning. But another reason I'm leaning towards keeping Devon is in the event that a swap doesn't happen and we lose again! By showing Devon that he almost left last round, I think he would 100% remain loyal to me for the rest of this game. However, it doesn't mean that I'm not open to hearing out other options. Devon does suck at challenges, so voting him out could be a good thing going forward. Plus I know for a fact that he's shady since he preached the same things to me that he said to Duncan. So I don't appreciate how he isn't being 100% truthful. Personally, I just don't trust any of the brains and need to jump on another tribe's bandwagon. I hope if I can make it to the swap that I can try to gain some new allies around here. Because I need people to make sure I get to the end. For now, I'm just going to hear everyone out and weigh out all of my options moving forward. I need to do what's best for Scottica going forward.

Whhhhaaattttt? Me uploading a confessional before 4 minutes before the next day??????? What a twist!!!!!! 

Anyways, the vote has come down to Devon leaving this round. Which doesn't surprise me, I expect Duncan/Autumn to not want to vote each-other out. Knowing that these two are unbreakable makes me want to work with Devon. But then Duncan also made the point that Devon comes off as the least threatening. Which is also true, he's the only one on our tribe who hasn't made it to the FTC yet. This has me thinking "let me talk to Devon about the tiebreaker challenge so he can figure out who he thinks he can beat" So I went into a call with Devon tonight basically expecting him to be down for a tiebreaker challenge against whoever he thought he could beat in the challenge, but ended up leaving the call actually wanting to vote him out because of how annoying he was throughout the whole call.... Me: "Hey Devon, Autumn and Duncan are 100% going to vote you out tonight. I will vote with you, but I need to know who you think you can beat in a tiebreaker challenge because if I vote with you, you need to win this challenge. Otherwise, I'll be public enemy #1 if you lose" Devon: "Well I think I could beat Duncan in a tiebreaker because he's throwing my name out there to try and get me out. Also, I've been completely honest with you this whole time so I hope that you'll vote with me tonight because I was going to go to the end with you. Anytime I was under the hot seat in Guyana, I made sure to win that challenge." Me: *looks at Guyana's wikia to see he won 1 immunity challenge and read confessionals about how he's a liar, a backstabber, and can't be trusted* The whole time he kept asking me who I wanted out and I'm like "none of the politics matter this round" Why? Because if it's a 2-2 tie, it comes down to how well you do in that challenge. Like I tried to tell this man he needs to bring his A game in the challenges. And he isn't even seeing that as a factor. Personally, I think Devon has a better chance at beating Autumn in a tiebreaker. Duncan performed better in all of the previous challenges so far. So the fact that he isn't really seeing this on a challenge performance level and more of a threat level shows that he doesn't see the severity of this situation. Chances are we will swap next round, so I can try vote Devon out and use connections to say "hey, I'm next to go on this tribe please align with me" in an attempt to get new allies. Plus Devon's paranoia really has me saying forget the whole tiebreaker plan and vote him out. UPDATE: I had to stop typing this confessional because Duncan called me to tell me Devon told him about the tiebreaker challenge and in all honesty Devon is a dumbass (sorry Devon) like his lack of perception in this game is TRULY astounding. Duncan and I basically spent the time bonding over his lack of sincerity and that Autumn is better for a swap. And with the performance he's putting on tonight, I'm ready to vote him out. I just have to hope we actually swap because if we do another tribe challenge and we lose AGAIN I know I get the boot. Also, I realize more and more that Devon really sucks at challenges and there's no way he can beat Autumn or Duncan at a challenge. So I guess I'm voting him out this round and then HOPING this doesn't come to bite me in the butt at the end. Sorry Devon. I wish I could have kept you, but you should have kept your mouth shut to Duncan & Autumn :/

... yeah I don’t think I can vote out Adam. Which is a shame because I made a promise and an alliance chat with Austin. But realistically Adam is a better player to keep around. He’s more easy going than Austin and more vengeful against the Brawn tribe which is definitely something worth keeping around. Also I accidentally just made an alliance with him. I really need to stop doing that before I start to face actual repercussions for my actions. Austin didn’t tell me his plans to vote out Connor so in my mind that’s sketchy as fuck. And I know he just got voted out of a game and I’d feel like a prick for voting him out. But we don’t have room for doubt in our tribe alliance. What if he’s trapped alone with Connor on a different tribe? Can we trust him not to vote for him? What if we merge and he feels the need to go off script? Will he just fuck off and do his own thing? And sure Adam most likely has an idol but he won’t have it forever. Sooner or later he’s going to have to use it and wouldn’t we be better off if he used it for us rather than against us? Then we can go in for the kill with his weapon down the hatch and our trust in his back pocket. Now I just need to express this to my teammates with out sounding like a psycho or a loon.

*sarah maclachlan playing in the background* hello ladies and gays, my name is adam, and welcome to..... my survivor funeral. In all my times playing tumblr survivor, the same situation has just ironically always happened to me, the very first tribal i partake in, my name ALWAYS gets thrown out there and i almost go home, but i somehow weasel my way out of it, and i think this time may be the one that finally gets me and stops me dead in my tracks this is gonna be a lot of tea so buckle up and get your teacups gorls, so basically immunity ends, i lose whatever i came close but ive never been one to need to rely on challenges to win, except maybe i did need this one, anywho after the challenges i go around and try to pick some brains, im hesitant about throwing a name out there but i did innevitably mention connor's name only to augusto/amir and austin mentioned voting connor to me first, i did say i felt disconnected to connor to austin first but i didnt say anything about voting him out first, anywho so im sitting here thinking...ok this seems too easy especially because i messaged other people aka augusto/amir and literally was getting no responses from them right away?? like im not an idiot, im of course assuming theyre plotting against me and normally im just being paranoid but NOT this time because AJ comes to me, because little does everyone know aj is definitely a friend of mine so he mentioned to me that kendall allegedly messaged this group chat they had the other day from the challenge i WILLINGLY sat out in, and was like "so obvious alliance without alex or adam and lets vote one of them out xD" like ooh ok you got me, congrats the only way you can play survivor successfully is by creating an alliance of circumstance that has nothing to build off of, its so frustrating the ONE time i really come into this game playing, like ive messaged and genuinely tried building relationships and for them to basically just all of the sudden be null and void over nothing??? it irks me i wont lie. It dissappoints me, and honestly upsets me. Im not an outwardly emotional person usually but im kinda upset over this? i know its a game and i shouldnt be taking it personally, but for me to have started building connections with people like augusto and amir and for them to just throw me down the river just because i wasnt included in their group bothers me. i guess i know its the name of the game, but what really upsets me is ive been TRYING and then theres people like connor who aj has said wasnt even ON the other group call for long at all and made no contribution??? but youre gonna vote me out.......someone who genuinely wanted to work with you people and am here to do so??? i guess on the bright side i can take some flattery if i leave first because aj said if they vote me over austin its because they view me as a bigger threat than him.....which they are 150% right to do so, however....they dont know im a threat!!!!! like i said some of these people havent even tried to get to even know me so how can you try and make conclusions about me already?????? AND YALL ARE REALLY SO DIMWITTED YOU THINK ID WORK WITH JAKEY ON THE OTHET SIDE BECAUSE I KNOW HIM???? what part of i voted him OUT last game, he NOR i have played since which shows you how traumatic it was, like i know he's against me already so im 100% not wanting to work with him. but guess what, if by SOME miracle i survive this tribal, and i would really need a miracle, if a swap comes soon i am 100% going to flip because augusto? dead to me. he can stream jlo for all i care. amir? sorry to this man who i barely know and tried to work with because we had a brief tumblr history together, which i barely knew him then either, clearly i made the right call not associating with him often, kendall, she's perhaps the fakest of them all, she basically messaged me and when i said what were you thinking she said "ive heard austin and connor but i DONT want to vote austin" so in my mind i know its really me or austin so good job, you just told the person you want out that you want them out. my plan now is to simply try to survive right now, and if that means having to vote austin out its what im gonna do, but aj himself has told me amir/augusto would be open to working with me had i proposed some type of alliance to them, so thats my next plan, i hope i can make them want to work with me over kendall/connor, and the 4 of us form a REAL alliance, and if they want austin ill vote austin, at this point i switch into flight or fight mode and as much as i love a good fight, i have to keep my claws put away for this one,  no one knows how BAD i want to just call out all of this tribe for lying right to my face and keeping me in the dark for no reason other than a pure coincidence, if they vote me out ill tell them off as i walk out of course, but i really dont want to blow up ajs game and i want this plan to work.... so ive got to shut my big mouth right now and try to outplay as much as i would like to just outscream them all right now.. anywho, its not looking good for me. i have about a 45% chance of survival i feel like, so send me all the positive energy you can because a bitch needs it, god speed yall and ill see you on the other side one way or another...

ugh one last thing i forgot......if im really voted out first and get that cirie hvv treatmeant because in my mind i just WANT to be her.......lets omit this time! no need to update the wiki, we'll press delete and pretend this moment never happened because thats how im going to treat it especially these FAKE ass PHONY ass people. FRAUDS. all of them. like i get it, im a fake bitch at times obviously like thats the game but im not used to people being fake to ME like it hurts especially when you think youre feeling real bonds with people..... i- lemme not start going on and on again. im not a quitter, im a tough cookie, ive had way worst problems in life ive figured out on my own and luckily im not completely alone with aj unless he's just been playing me which then OUCH that would hurt 1000x more but i genuinely dont think he is, at this point i trust him with my life in this game because i feel like he's my key to staying. i need him, and i need augusto/amir, even though they've hurt my feelings and i want my revenge, i have to compose myself and play my cards right, this is a war, not a battle, and while i may lose all at once, i have to play the move i think will most best keep me here one night longer ...  

oh gorl ok i promise LAST ONE i just have to get this off my chest! ok so, after thinking about it and smoking a nighttime bowl i'm less UPSET about the possibility of me going home first on the beauty's and now i'm just more confused, augusto did message me back and was saying he'd be interested in my proposed alliance however he could easily be lying to me since he's been lying to me already this whole game however i have no choice other than to try this hail mary, i also think i'm gonna try to plant doubt against kendall because she directly told me she was basically voting me out, so i'm gonna go around and tell people she refused to vote austin out, because she did say that, and hopefully they don't just give in to her bidding. i can't really be mad, we won't be singing amigas cheetahs tonight, but i'm gonna turn my frustration into work, i see multiple scenarios in my head the moment i start to feel the one i'm in is heading south so right now my only chance of making it through is pushing this alliance and testing the connections i've been trying to build, wish me luck if i hear something good from amir there might be a glimmer of hope? probably not but i'll absolutely try just for the good edit of a dramatic tribal dahling 

So first off, fuck Skype. Because if Skype wasn't a laggy ass bitch, I would have won that immunity. But it's fine because I don't think I'm going anywhere just yet. It's been very refreshing to have multiple people come up to me and say they want to work with me. Like Jakey obviously has been the person I've been able to talk to openly since Day 2. And I knew Dan and I had a mutual bond that would allow a good amount of trust, so it was nice to see that become much more evident when he came to me to talk game. Now I have Jordan and Ali who both said they want to work with me / guaranteed not write my name down. And Liam is hardcore pitching to me and actually making a lot of sense. So now even though I thought I would go for Liam this round, I actually think I may push for Lovelis to go. It's a weird thought that the person I just finished a game with would be the one I'm going to probably vote tonight, but it may make the most sense for my game. I admittedly also don't think everyone voted out is going to get eliminated. My guess is one of them survive and then we have a swap with 2 tribes of 8, but we shall see!

It’s tribal time y’all! My alliance (me, Amir, Kendall, Connor) had the idea of adding AJ to our circle as it would be super easy to do so as we all are in a challenge chat together which is nice. I do really like AJ now like we’ve really connected these past few days and have had a little duo-bond going on so this 5 person alliance is the best chance for us to get even closer in a game-sense. We all went on call and discussed the topic of Adam versus Austin. While AJ and Amir would prefer to keep Adam, Kendall prefers to keep Austin. I’m genuinely on the fence because I like both of them and they both like me a lot? I tried to rationalize it in a game sense of Austin is slightly more transparent and easier to read while also having a weird social game that would keep one of us over him in a swap scenario. Adam, on the other hand, is probably more dangerous long term as he could cause more damage and his relationship with Jakey is very up in the air in terms how it affects us in a swap. So for the immediate future, Austin would be better to keep around because of a swap but thinking about the long-term, Adam could be better as he could be a shield? It’s interesting like this vote really is about weighing instant gratification versus delayed gratification and seeing which helps us out more?

While on our 5 person alliance chat call, AJ ended up revealing how the idol system works which…. YAAAAASSS we won! A thing that concerned me is that he said someone had already found something which is likely Adam considering he had told Amir about the numbers thing beforehand? That is just my gut telling me that though but it’s something we gotta think about hmmmm… very inch resting.

Not Kendall and I making an alliance with Austin ghfjdsk, it FINALLY happened but it’s kinda silent so far? I’m kinda side-eying Austin as when I talked to him about the vote, he had only mentioned Adam to me whereas he mentioned Adam and Connor to other people so it’s like… do you REALLY trust me? I don’t really know anymore, it’s something to keep in mind though!

We had agreed on voting Adam and not gonna lie, I feel awful about it from a personal standpoint? I really really like Adam like we have so many similarities and common interests so I’ve really grown to appreciate our bond. Adam had mentioned making an alliance with me, him, Amir, and AJ and told me that he wanted to ask me how I felt about that before he told the others because he really values my opinion which made my heart cry. To make matters worse, he told me how he feels he can FINALLY experience a game where he has genuine people he likes to work with and cause damage like AHHHH I feel so bad because a part of me wants to keep him but my loyalty to my people is outweighing that? Like I do genuinely want to keep Adam because he’s amazing and I would feel awful voting him out because I think he’ll take it the most personally from me and I don’t want to be the cause of someone else’s pain/sadness ever yknow? Ugh, it’s just a lot and I probably seem like an emotional mess but I think I have to put more value in my head over my heart in this game and this could be a start? 

I went to bed sad about having to vote Adam today and I woke up to Kendall wanting to call me. We go on call and debate whether the fact we wanna vote for Adam to begin with and we were both kinda like… we honestly don’t? Not just because we like Adam but Austin is not being as transparent or present as we would’ve hoped so it kinda helps us make our decision for us? I did tell her about Adam’s alliance proposal because I also want to be as transparent as possible and even flipped it in a way that we can make Adam feel extra comfortable with a false majority so if he does have an idol, we can keep him from ever playing it. Not just that, but we can also convince Adam to vote Austin instead of Connor like he wants to by us falsely stating Connor helped out tons in the challenge and while he won’t be completely active, that’s to our benefit and not a detriment at all. We then got on call with AJ and he agreed with our points so yay for saving Adam? I’m genuinely happy with this especially since Adam does benefit my longer term game and I love him so <3 

I am SHAKING right now. It's obviously come down to either between me or Liam L, and it sucks! I didn't want to vote out Liam but my hand has been forced at this point! He's been on away all morning so I've made my move, trying to hit up Ali, Jordan, Jakey, TJ, even Dan (who answered me then went on away c':) I THINK I've done a good job of speaking as to why I'd like to stay? Jordan is keeping me updated and TJ said he will as well, so I hope they're telling the truth..

Since it's been awhile, there are a few things to go over: 1. The alliance between myself/Scott/Duncan/Autumn has been so successful so far. We survived three straight tribal councils after losing three straight competitions. We didn't waiver a single bit from one another and that is so rare in Survivor. 2. Going into this round, I thought my only chance was to enter a tiebreaker against Duncan and try and win in a competition. I pleaded to Scott for his vote, but he was skeptical. 3. With my back up against the wall, I confronted Duncan in hopes of flipping his vote. As a result, a chat between myself/Duncan/Scott was created. 4. As long as Scott/Duncan aren't playing me, this could very well be the fourth tribal council in which I survived with my name being mentioned in three of them. Slithering doesn't always work, but this round has been the toughest one to date. 

it's still day 9 and SO much more has already happened... i could be writing to you from the grave with this, but i think, maybe just maybe, i might have a shot at staying now. its so crazy how fast this game really changes, last night i was in a horrible mood (so SORRY  to everyone i dragged in my last confessionals my feelings were hurt and i was moody i take it back! especially telling augusto to listen to jlo that was just CRUEL. howvever it was because i thought it was game over me, i saw this major alliance form right in front of my eyes that i was on the outs in, and with the help of AJ, i was able to just maybe infiltrate and create my own counter alliance with some of the people from that majority who just might like me a little bit more. Even if i get voted out tonight, i can go out with my head held high now because even if these people are playing me, ive tried my best and attempted to make some form of a move even if the move is just saving myself, i wanted to maybe work with austin but however i dont see it in the stars for us anymore This is why ive worked hard on maintaining steady social relationships, this right here, because today i made an offical alliance chat with Me, AJ, Augusto, and Amir, and while i definitely still have my doubts about Augusto/Amir, right now im stuck with them. If i want to survive this vote, i need to see if i can trust them, if they are legit about being real to my proposed alliance instead of their other one, theyll vote with me tonight and we'll take baby steps and go from there. I absolutely have been playing the pity card, with all of them and even kendall. I'm making sure people think im just this nice funny person who wants to play the game and have a shot, which is true, but im willing to do anything to stay, its just funny to me how last night i was having a breakdown over everyone saying im a threat and wanting me out, and i didnt completely get it at first, but you know what if the vote really doesnt fall on me tonight and i somehow survive, then maybe theyre right and maybe i am a threat if i can help to flip this whole tribe in a matter of hours. I even begun platning seeds against kendall because i know she was throwing my name around and you most certainly wont get away with that sis. I begun telling people she refused to vote for austin, because she did, she foolishly told me that and now im gonna use it against her. I dont think I can pull off voting her out this round, i need to focus on saving myself, but just know she's awoken the beast and i have her in my future sights. pray for me yall, im playing every single card i can in what could be a hopeless last ditch effort. But i think my odds of staying may really be going up, unless these people are just THAT good at being fake then....they got me gal. 

This tribal council is really about to raise my blood pressure huh? Its crazy cause I am quite confident I am not going home tonight, I would say most of the tribe as well feels that way and most i think should. As far as im concerned Myself, Dan (whose immune duh), Ali, Jakey and even TJ knows that its gonna be one of the Liams. Liam is aware that hes at risk cause hes been innactive and is throwing out lovelis name. Lovelis, I think doesnt know hes at risk, which is dumb cause he has not had a good social game so far and just thinks its easy on Liam. It might not be though, Liam has been ramping up his game a bit to try to stay safe (my advice to him of course) and I think it may be working. Obviously I know I can trust Liam and in most other circumstances i think I would work with him without question, however because this is a main season and he played in survivor jordan pines, its such an easy link to us that I just worry how it might affect ME down the road. Obviously if I can keep Liam safe tonight I will, but I am not fighting a hard fight to keep someone who may eventually be a detriment to my game whereas lovelis could be a lot of different possibilites. Im unsure where the road goes now, I think I am gonna call with my alliance of Ali Jakey and Dan later to try to think of a name, we just need to make a decision between the two already so I know which i should be priming up to be a goat for me and which I should cut loose haha.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1LHsOiuD0RNMuor24fzziE04b_iTVsFRD/view?usp=sharing

okay so my video confessional is uploading but i think liam lovelis is doomed! he seems like a king but he needed to put in work to stay this round and i dont think he did unfortunately :(

well, in a sick turn of events, we did NOT swap tribes! in fact we were punished for god knows what as all tribes were required to go to tribal, so immunity was individual! the challenge itself was HELL and i am not going to talk about it other than the fact that i literally could've won if i didn't fuck up the second time. thankfully amir won, so i'm happy! going into tribal, however, i was in the mood to vote either austin or connor. i've kinda connected with everyone else on the tribe totally to the point where i don't want to vote them off right now, and while both are amazing, i ain't really CLICKING with them like that. but to be fair, they both have outside priorities like work and school so i can excuse the lack of conversation. i assumed initially that it was going to be a matter of no one wanting to step on any toes, so there'd just be a bunch of "oh i haven't heard anything yet" and beating around the bush, BUT kendall swooped in and declared our challenge chat from the last immunity (which consisted of her/me/augusto/amir/connor) an alliance, to which we all agreed. obviously i wasn't gonna turn it down! these were people who i really vibed with! it just sucks that someone like adam was a victim of circumstance and isn't able to be able to be apart of the alliance. we all (bar connor) hopped on call to discuss a vote and while it seemed like austin was gonna be the initial vote based off of what everyone was saying, ADAM ended up being the target that night. i played along and just went with it but i knew i had to do something since i wasn't gonna let adam go out like that. i tried to wave the caution of a potential idol play by bringing up the tomb system and how i cracked the code (per adam's hard work), but at the time it only pushed that vote further! we were under the impression that adam was throwing around connor's name, but on the contrary it was austin from what we've gauged. adam went to augusto i believe and brought up that he's heard connor, which only could've came from austin! this is where the conversation itself started to take a turn, so the vote went from adam to adam(?). everyone dispersed and like 5 minutes later i called adam DJKALSJFKJ. i had to let him know what was going on! he, of course, began panicking and started plotting on how he'd bounce back from this and i was a little weary at first. one thing i didn't want him to do was throw me under the bus or snap, it wouldn't his or my game for that matter. so i suggested he try to craft an alliance with myself, augusto, and amir. while he doesn't really trust the latter and plans on flipping in the event a swap comes, i knew that it'd be way harder for the vote to NOT be adam if he put them in this kind of position that austin isn't offering them. i went to sleep and when we woke up, kendall proposed another call! thankfully, she suggested flipping to austin, to which augusto and i agreed, because honestly adam does NOT deserve to be the first person gone from this tribe. so like that the vote went from adam to austin and things were pretty cemented, with it not changing as of the time i'm writing this. we're currently under the impression that austin is voting connor, which is fine since we got connor's blessing to keep his name out there since we DID here it, and it's best to keep adam feeling safe. ugh the way i was expecting a HEADACHE this morning if things didn't start the change like oh brother... bless up. p.s. chrissy hofbeck let me DOWN. i love that queen but she replied to my dm for the first challenge which was almost over a week ago today?! wow chrissy. 

So we're just a couple hours until tribal; essentially the whole tribe has agreed to do Lovelis at this point, and now somehow Lovelis knows that Liam had been targeting him. A couple people think that Ali is the reason why, but there's a chance it was me who actually is at fault because I confirmed it to Lovelis after he asked a second time, but I'm not going to full out admit that there was a chance that it was me (other than explaining the first half of my convo) because people doubting Ali is actually going to be kind of decent for my game. Ali is a huge threat moving forward and I trust Jakey, Dan, and Jordan more than him at the moment, so if it poses some doubt... it may not be the worst thing in the world. Russell hat might be out today ;)

okay so i have a video confessional uploading but i unfortunately think liam lovelis is going home! i love him so much he is so lovely, but i think he didn't put the work he needed to, to stay. would love to work with him in a different game, in a different situation but am sad it wasn't to be. i love my brawn men and i'm SO SAD that we are probably going to be separated. also im so sick and alyssa is gonna wonder who the old crone wheezing on call is and its me

So I won immunity hehehehe we love being masc and winning comps. But anyway I’m happy I’m safe going into the triple tribal. It’s all I really wanted. Should be an easy vote. Lovelis is just like not around enough. And he’s connected to TJ, so it will be nice having TJ somewhat to myself without distraction? That’s probably not actually the truth but let’s pretend it is. 

Adam wants to make an alliance with me and Augusto and Aj, but like, fuck. It’s too late. The 3 of us are already with Connor and Kendall, but Adam is being genuine and honest with us and it’s just really sad that this is the way this has to go down. If I was in his position I’d be so sad, so it’s making this game hard, but the logical part of me knows that eliminating him at this moment is the right move . I haven’t played these games in almost 3 years, and I know that you have to be a predator in this game, not prey, and you can’t let your emotions stop you from positioning yourself as best as possible. Do what u gotta do and feel bad later ! But for the record, I do feel damn awful for this , sorry adam

What in the fuck I literally woke up and my alliance wants to KEEEEP ADAMMMMMM KDJDJDSNSJSNKDNDKDDNDND AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CANNOT TELL IF IM HAPPY OR PISSED OFFFFFF I can work with Adam, and I can be tight with him, but the alliance known that Adam told me about numbers on the blog and i made ppl think he has the idol, so as long as Kendall Augusto and Aj don’t spill those beans to Adam, him staying is still okay in my game, this just puts me in a slight risk zone, it’s a loose end And I don’t really know how to go about it I’m not gonna try and convince them to remove Adam when he obviously trusts me Kendall is a damn crackhead I love her tho like in a weird way I really do trust her??? I feel like I can read her pretty well I literally can’t go to sleep without my alliance changing fucking everything I CANT SLEEEEP ever again huh Chile... tbis is our first vote and I’m ??  

is it against the rules to go to my alliance members houses one by one and jump them?

Amir u stupid ass bitch... dipping my hands into too many cookie jars i got close with adam and then distanced from him cuz he was leaving and now i got to get closer again cuz hes staying. but adam likes me and augusto the most on the tribe i think me and augusto are the closest with everyone on our tribe and that makes him my biggest social threat, but hes also my closest ally so like this is good at this stage, we have a lot of pull

okay so this twist is crazy and i'll like properly articulate my thoughts tomorrow but all i want to say is everytime autumn messages me i get such a rush of seretonin - wow do i stan her.

These are my pre-triple tribal thoughts https://youtu.be/18jIBeTw_lY

Well well it seems these bitches haven't got rid of me yet. I don't feel they will give me a chance to actually be back in the game but I'm gonna fight my ass off to try. I love the game and I dont go down easy.  I'll kiss ass or do whatever I have to do to save myself . Tumblr survivor gods please please please be with me 

hey you guys its me adam and im coming to you from the survivor afterlife because they succeeded and just voted me ou- wait.... wait a minute, wait what?? the hator beauties DIDNT vote me out?????? GORL i am counting my blessings that my dumbass somehow survived the first vote, ESPECIALLY after finding out my name was not only thrown out there, but that it was a LOCKED plan. Literally sent me into a whole tizzy and caused me to doubt my self worth because i felt so bad about my gameplay but BITCH, i still got it. Yes, the rumors are true, you CANT kill a bad bitch. MANY THANKS TO AJ. I absolutely give credit where credit is due, if it weren't for aj telling me about the plan to get me out, i never would have played as hard as i did today, before i went to bed last night i basically talked to everyone, kendall/amir/augusto and was just making sure they all heard me out, i played up big time that i wanted to just be here for the team, and how BADLY i wanted to be able to play with loyal people, especially when i made the alliance chat for me/amir/augusto/aj because aj told me they did say theyd be open to an alliance with me so i think me doing all that and then of course aj's impact from the inside definitely lead everyone to change their minds and so then today the plan was shifted to austin i didnt want to vote austin honestly, but at that point it was me or him and my instincts always are fine with it, AS LONG AS IT AINT ME. PERIOD. They absolutely made the wrong choice though, because especially LEARNING all the information i did, ill never trust a single person on this tribe again, except aj, and i will absolutely be looking for the cracks and to possibly flip in. also after tribal , we got bombarded with this twist, SOMEONE IS COMING BACK FROM ONE OF THESE 3 TRIBALS???AND WE'RE ON A ONE WORLD BEACH NOW??? gorl its time to get to WORK, immediately upon entering this beach with everyone, austin messages  ALL the beauties swearing he wants to work with us still if we bring him back- but then goes and messages EVERY other person, and here's the best part- INCLUDING THE OTHER PEOPLE VOTING TO COME BACK IN AJFSDKH LIKE WHAT HE ASKED DEVON TO VOTE HIM BACK IN I WAS SCREAMING austin, thank you for showing the beauties we made the right choice, and hopefully we pull it off and you dont come back, sorry nothing against you though!!! im immediately leaning towards bringing devon back, because well the brains are just not really a threat at the moment and the last thing we need is braun gaining a number on us. Austin also told me my name was an option for the vote from tribal, which i completely was aware of but had to act like i didnt know because i didnt want aj exposed, HOWEVER now that austin has brought this up i can freely mention it to whomever now, so i immediately bring it up in my chat with amir/augusto and lemme tell yall.... ive never heard a silence quite this loud. whats wrong? yall dont wanna be honest with me about having a whole alliance just to conspire to vote me out????? this was a test from me, i gave them the oppurtunity to come clean and they refused. it shows me i clearly cant trust them, but again, until i know what the hell is going on in this game now, im stuck with them until i can make a move against them. kendall also came to me saying "hey can i ask you something" so i go sure gal whats the tea and she asks me "was i an option for the vote because austin said i was" so i was like omg no! of course not!!! because realistically she wasnt, even though she absolutely shouldve been for daring to raise her tongue against me IM ONTO YOU SIS... i know exactly what shes doing, she knows austin is telling me i was an option so shes probably hoping by telling me that i wont believe austin, but silly girl, i already knew about all yall's trifling ways!!! anyway, send fucking help we need it, the beauties are the FAKEST group on this island. im having better conversations with people from the other tribes i dont even know during this one world twist... also was able to catch up with jakey....that was interesting, we always have great convos because like we just know each other so well, and he's acting like he's forgivven and forgotten about challengers vs. champions, but i know him well enough to know he's NOT going to trust me this game because well...if i were him i absolutely wouldnt trust me either, we're kinda like parvati/amanda in hvv. Ill keep him on my backburner, incase we swap and im with him i at least want a fighting chance, if i HAVE to work with him but i probably will end up having to target him because i know him all too well and how he plays, its dangerous for EVERYONE. (but mostly for me, which is what's most important) 

Of course it wasn't a swap! That would be too easy!!!!!!!!! No we had to make it as dramatic as fucking possible and vote some sap back into the game!!!! UGH Well, at least this gives us all time to scout out the competition. And believe you me it has taken a lot of will power to not compulsively make another alliance. I mean, I did, but like with Jordan Pines so that doesn't count. I have reunited with my Survivor Dad Scott, my pizza molester friend Liam, former Gorlley Duncan, and my former arch enemy Jakey. I say former but Jakey clearly doesn't see me that way. He still had me on block and allegedly the first thing he messaged Adam was if "it was safe to unblock me". Like dude, Neverland was 4 years ago get a grip. I mean yeah, I'm playing up the arch enemy aspect on my side but that's more for my own amusement/Adam's loyalty. I genuinely didn't have an opinion on him anymore. I mean, I do NOW but I assure you it is purely built on self defense. Admittedly, I wasn't on my best behavior during that time and I will apologize for it but damn dude keep my name out of your mouth. Speaking of people who won't shut the fuck up, we have Austin!!!!!! He has made a point to swear loyalty to Brains, Brawn and Beauty. Which I get you have only 24 hours to find safety but like do better. He also told Adam that we were targeting him at first tribal council, which is admittedly accurate but also incredibly inconvenient for the rest of us. Luckily Adam seems to hold us in higher regard plus I miggghhhhhtttttt have lied to him a wittle wit in order to make him doubt Austin. 9:49 PM Hey can I ask you a question? Adam, 9:52 PM omg of course 9:53 PM Was I an option for last tribal? Adam, 9:53 PM omg 9:53 PM It’s okay if I was but you have to tell me if my name was written down Adam, 9:54 PM absolutely not??? like im not even joking i did not HEAR your name once or even consider you myself and if anyone else did they never said it to me did austin tell you that? I know every season I'm very insistent on how evil I am but I genuinely believe this season I've crossed several ethical boundaries. Like damn, I voted out my first game ally, I tricked both AJ and Adam into thinking they are in a position of power, and now this bullshit? I genuinely hope that this doesn't blow up in my face cause it very well could but if it doesn't... well now I have a spare ally. So obviously Austin is not coming back under any circumstances. Which leaves the two other schmucks: Lovelis and Devon. Lovelis has yet to message me anything and Devon has been a fun conversation. So... as you can see this is going to be a very tough call. I am going to have to pray on it :/. What's that Survivor Jesus? You think we should save Devon? Ehhhh let me talk to Survivor Buddha first, I'll get back to you. 

just as much i know yall wish i would shut up these people CONTINUE TO TRY ME AND PUSH MY BUTTONS AND I CANT TRUST ANYONE CLEARLY SO I HAVE TO COME HERE TO RUN MY BIG MOUTH basically, i wake up this morning and while i know austin is just on a beauty tribe crusade throwing us all under the bus to try and get the votes back in, which i completely cant blame him for anyone considering we all did blindside him, HOWEVER i decided to message him again this morning and try and get some more tea out of him, i figure if he's hear i may as well hear him out now, in no way shape or form do i plan on voting for him to come back into the game, but i want this information for my own good, so i decide to ask him who all was telling him to vote for me and what was said, and he tells me that kendall, amir, and augusto all said my name AND that apparently they were calling me a rat too?? now, i know, he's desperate so he'll say whatever, but i firmly believe there's usually a little truth to every lie, so upon finding this out i decide im sick of holding it in, so i message augusto and amir to basically call them out. i wanted to play it very carefully because once again its a test of trust, are they gonna be upfront with me and let me know i was on the chopping block, even if they were considering voting for me as long as they told me, id possibly be able to move foward with them, but again, just like last night, i mention it today and i get LIED TO. augusto wants to play dumb and say "omg i never said that! why would i ever say that about you?!" well idk, why would you act like you're my friend and wanna work with me only to join a super alliance behind my back and make a plan to vote me out? he's lied to my face now more than once and so with that, CANCELLED. Amir at least told me he heard my name but guess what he obviously wasnt gonna do it, which is still a lie i know they all agreed to my name because of aj, but at least amir didnt completely undermine my intelligence and lie to me about it. THESE PEOPLE REALLY THINK IM ADAM THE CLOWN, ADAM THE FOOL, ADAM THE DUMMY WHO CANT FIGURE ANYTHING OUT, WELL GUESS WHAT BEAUTIES. I DID. i completely feel like sandra on the villains tribe, i cant STAND these people anymore and what annoys me more than them lying to me, is them thinking theyre clever enough to trick me with this stupid ass lie kendall made up about how austin was saying the vote was on her like gorl plea we still have a few hours on this one world beach, so i decide now is my time to START planting seeds to make my move. i have to be extremely careful here, because while the beautiues have completely enraged me and awoke the beast within, im absolutely gonna return their fakery with absolutely fraudulentism. yall wanna lie to me? ok game on, ill lie 10x as hard to you now. i obvioulsy want to just blow my top and make them feel stupid because i know theyre lying, but i have to be smart, for all i know after this person comes back, we could very well head to our same tribes still, or i end up with a beauty majority and i need them to think im with them .. BUT GOOD GOD PLEASE GIVE ME A TRIBE SWAP, AT THIS POINT ID PROBABLY GET MORE STIMULATING CONVERSATIONS WITH TREES THAN THIS TRIBE. Whoever told them they were beautiful people actually lied to them because theyre all UNQUALIFIED to be on the beautys. at this point i want devon to come back, ive had nice little convos with him and im trying to talk to all the brains to be quite honest because, if it were up to me, i would absolutely flip and work with the brains if they would allow me to work with them because clearly i cant trust the beauties???? HELL, I MIGHT EVEN HAVE TO WORK WITH JAKEY IF HE'D TRUST ME JUST BECAUSE I OBVIOUSLY CANT TRUST THEM??? the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and at this point, the beauties are my enemy. im really hoping my big mouth doesnt get me in trouble because i could be talking to these brains and they very well could go behind my back to the other beauties and im voted off soon, but im hoping they just realize based on the convos im trying to have with them, that im absolutely open to flipping, the beauties may be the devil i know but id rather go home trying to make a move rather than just sitting on the bottom waiting to be picked off, and if the beauties think im gonna just be that person, they made a grave mistake in not voting me out then. If youre gonna throw my name out there, vote me out because i guarantee once i hear it, ill never trust you again. in conclusion, this video about sums up how i feel about the rest of the beauties: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_iM4Z8FkQg

Jeff Probst Voice: And meanwhile on One World Jakey teaches Kendall how food delivery works. djfadklajdkfajkfdjafklds; I feel like a bit of an ass. Me and Jakey talked it over, turns out neither of us entirely remember what our feud was about. We also agreed to be a secret duo while playing up our 'alleged" animosity. I'm keeping him at arms length because I don't entirely trust him but he's easy to talk to, and who am I to decline a free ally. Austin meanwhile continues to spiral further. I feel kind of bad honestly but not enough to save him. He apparently told Adam that we called him a rat? Which, we did a lot of things to Adam but nothing directly disparaging his personality. He's a really pleasant and nice person, he's so pleasant and nice everyone else in the alliance was super reluctant to vote for him while his name was on the table. Which was kind of infuriating at the time but now that we are dealing with this shit storm it's a nice quality. Devon is laying it on thick with me. He has said shit like "I'm rooting for you in the VL" and " I obviously want YOUR trust more than anything in this game" okay that one in hindsight could be a reference to needing a vote. On the other hand he's been very straightforward about not making any promises and I really respect that. It's interesting how everyone wants him back, including the people who voted him out. Which makes me curious, did they plan for this? Lovelis is still a non entity... tribal is in like an hour and fifteen minutes you think he'd pop in with a sup or something? In terms of the idol talk, Jordan and I have compared notes. I told him that Adam probably has it and he told me everyone on his tribe knew about the numbers. So... if we switch it up or go back we can double check and look to see if it's there. I don't entirely trust people on the outside. Don't get me wrong I get along splendidly with Brain and 4 out of the 6 Brawn players seem to enjoy my company. But my loyalty first and foremost belongs to the beauties. You know that, I know that, now let's keep them from figuring that part out. ;)  

okay so, i survived my first tribal. my anxiety was really acting up and i like astral-projected during it, but i survived which is what counts. i've tried to take today off because i dont want this game to be ali has an emotional meltdown the entire time and i think im doing okay. anyway SO liam lovelis went home and i really like him but its also like, he really was not putting in the work to stay, and i really respected Liam M's hustle! so it was what happened, and him fighting Liam M was kinda mean JASKDF like idk what he expected Liam M to do instead, it was just the way things shook out. okay and then we have this crazy twist.. the hosts really really said you are anxious? time to get anxious-er. so we are voting either devon, austin or lovelis back into the game. lovelis has fully gone ghost (at least for me), and i think he is kinda done with the game so i think its gonna be between austin and devon. i think devon is who is going to come back, he is handling this perfectly just chilling and being straight up. otherwise so the people i have spoken to since is: Duncan - a king!! he is one of my oldest org friends, he has a different energy now, am determined to prove to him i'm not annoying anymore - loved that he admitted to me he used to find me annoying Augusto - he is really lovely, already clearly MEGA social which is really scary! i like him a lot tho could be a good person in a swap Devon - seems like a king get good energy from him. think he is painting austin as messier than he is and is spreading the narrative of austin making deals but im not fussed austin- seems sweet but idk if he has handled this round right AJ - a king i like his energy!! but yes hopefully devon comes back and i get a good swap... that we pray for

This was such a simple game when I just had me and my cute lil alliance of 4 and that was just 2 days ago.So much has happened in the past 2 days. -Our alliance of 4 creates an alliance of 5 with aj included. -Adam makes a 4 person alliance of me aj and Augusto. - the vote goes to Adam and we all tell everyone it’s Adam, and then it’s changed to a Austin - Austin wants back and to end the beauties. Also exposed us to Adam -Devon wants to come back but brains also want him back, -Duncan wants to work with me -duncan is super tight with Scott and autumn and wants me to get close to them - I’m getting close to jakey, and building a bond with Jordan and dan. - an interesting dynamic is that Duncan doesn’t like Ali, Duncan loves autumn, and autumn loves Ali. - Adam and jakey are also at odds 

OH MY FUCKING GODDDDD I JUST ... HAD AN EPIPHANY AND IM PROBABLY BEING INSANE, but i think... i think that adam and aj are super close and have a final 2. The vote was originally adam, but the night after we told aj, adam compaigned hard and we all changed our minds. Furthermore, they both knew about the idol system. FURTHERMORE, adam was like "i feel like im missing out on so much" during the unscramble challenge but he had no way of knowing we were all on call. They both know l'shei, they both have the same emoji in their name, they both just replied to me saying something similar at the same time. It is basically all coming together in my head and long story short, we fucked up. Augusto, connor, and kendall have no idea how much we really fucked up but this all could be me making shit up but idk idk ahahahahahahhahahahhahahahaha we r FUCKED AJ HAS AN ALLIANCE WITH ME AND AUG KEND CONNOR IF HE TOLD ADAM LMAAOOOOO WE R FUCKKEDDD

WHEW this game, this game. Y'all have taken me on so many emotions in the past 48 hours I couldn't even stop to processing winning Survivor Reels lmaaaaooo. Y'all really had me do that ugly counting challenge, where I messed up twice and ended up with 5 points only for my Skype to stop working for a good 2+ hours. Then Scott won immunity, which meant I had to kill either my dad Duncan or my bb Devon, which was super darksided. THEN after all that and saying my dramatic ass goodbyes, y'all pull out a buyback??? https://i.imgur.com/kQ6umpV.gif BUT ITS OK BECAUSE NOW I GET TO KEEP BOTH AND THE DADS ARE STILL TOGETHER!!! Devon is staying and we been knew. You know I love him if I'm not even mad that he voted me so everyone remember this moment cause that's usually grounds for dismissal in my world. But ugh I'm so happy y'all don't even know. I've really hit it off with a few people too so I'm just feeling myself. I fucking love Augusto we are the same person no lie and I'm also a big fan of Adam, Jakey, and Amir. So even if I get separated from the dads, I can make this work. I'm ready to swap and I just gotta keep misting man after man which I can definitely handle https://media1.tenor.com/images/fe32b9e859965acabe245a41b77e2153/tenor.gif?itemid=4608580

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBquewn3tnw

#BackWithVengeance

[survivormontenegro]

Episode 11: “Recalibrate How I’m Playing This Game” - Caeleb

okay I'm writing a long confessional then going to bed.

Jules was robbed. I was really gonna idol them when Jones/Caeleb told me Jules was getting votes, but Jules was only getting 5, and I naively thought both that Jason wasn't going to flip and Tom wouldn't self vote AGAIN ASKDLJFAF.

I'm frustrated because I love Jules. Jules was robbed and deserved better than having to deal with Alex who like will tell Jules they made a mistake and ugh. I'm frustrated that I didn't idol Jules, even though it wouldn't have been smart and would've put me in a tough game spot, its just all super tricky sigh.

in other news, Jones/Mo/Mitch need to go. I'm super proud of Mo for doing something (like genuinely) and not playing passively, I defo underestimated him, but him and Jones have way too much sway on this tribe, tied to Mitch who is clearly able to work people.

I think a good end-group for me would be Me/Benj/Tom/Julia. I really really like Caeleb but he actually is playing super smart, so I really don't think I can have him sticking around much longer.

I think a good new bootlist is: Jones > Mitch > Mo > Jason > Caeleb

I'm just frustrated because Jules was robbed and really did not deserve that, Mo/Jones are too powerful, and now so is Mitch. I'm gonna idol one of them out, and I'm going to love doing it.

Holy fuck what the fuck that worked. Ok so here’s what just went down, Jules said to Jason that she’d be fine voting out either me or Mitch. People were leaning towards Mitch. We had like 20 minutes left and we started discussing and I threw out to Jones, what if we get Jules out, but she kinda ignored it and carried on with the Mitch plan. Because Jules has a lot of connections I can understand why Jones would be hesitant. So then I throw the pitch rob Caeleb and Mitch throws the pitch to Jason and they’re both on board. But that would of only been five people. Meaning it most likely would of tied so we were like ok I guess we’ll just vote Mitch. BUT THEN BENJ GETS ONLINE and he’s like “Yeah I’ll vote Jules.” SO I SCRAMBLE BACK TO CAELEB LIKE WAIT VOTE JULES WE HAVE THE NUMBERS. SAME WITH JONES AND JASON. WE GET JULES OUT. Which of course is sad because she’s literally a sweetheart and she’s super funny, but she had so many people in her corner and her and Ali combined was a scary combo. BUT I MEAN I HAVE A COOL GAME MOVE IN MY POCKET NOW THAT I DID (with Mitch) BUT WOW ME.

Whew chile!!! I must admit that vote was VERY scary and VERY hectic. I thought for a moment my game was ending. Thankfully my social relationships with people allowed me to stay and send the person who was targeting me home (Jules). Now this is GREAT for me because i trusted Jules the least on the merge tribe. The communication thing never worked out between the two of us but i still find her to be a very nice person :). In regards to the vote, Mo/Caeleb, Benj, Jason, and Jones all voted to save me. To me, I feel like this means im in a really good position because everyone likes me enough to SAVE me. Up until 5 minutes before the deadline, I thought i was done for. I gotta be careful with who I work with in the future because my threat level is rising. People in touchy subjects saw me as the one who thinks they are running the game but are not, but man is this far from the truth. I'd like to say that although I didn't know what was going on COMPLETELY, I still pretty much helped/forced the target onto the person who went home. Ian- Told Alex about how I suspected Jason and Ian of being a duo (correct assumption according to ali) and everyone ended up splitting between the two (I did not care who went). Alex- I pushed very hard for alex to go because he was so dang controlling and i found that very threatening. Jules- targeted me first but I never trusted her because of how little we spoke. When she decided to target me it was the icing on the cake. Hopefully these next few rounds are smooth sailing because we NEED easy votes for at least a little bit.

okay so i am trying SO hard for immunity, like its not even funny. i think i have 100+ points right now, with more videos uploading and with more planned photos tomorrow. immunity would be SO sweet, because that'd guarantee me a spot in the F8, and with my idol F7.

in other news. if i haven't said it enough, it must be said again. BENJ IS SUCH A KING. like today he told me he wants to go to F4 with Julia and Tom. I truly, truly could have shed and wept real tears. That is exactly the F4 I want, like EXACTLY ,and Benj agrees, and we are going to make it HAPPEN.

He also wants to separate Mo/Jones this round... and like honestly, I'm so down. Like I think he wants to vote off Mo versus Jones which I think is a bad idea, since Jones is a better talker and more of a threat, but his argument about Jones being a shield makes some sense.

my ideal bootlist moving forwards for the season, although it requires like julia/tom to stick with me and benj pretty tightly, is:

Mo/Jones > Mitch > Jason > Mo/Jones > Caeleb > F4: Me/Tom/Benj/Julia

and also since i love doing this for no reason, this would be my ranking of those left if i was to go to jury this round:

Mitch > Jason > Jones > Benj > Caeleb > Julia > Mo > Tom

Mitch is SO savvy, and so likable, and I could see as a definite winner, having survived so much. I can't decide if Jones is a threat because she is just so likable, or if she is actually palying super well, but I have both her and Jason very high in my opinion. Benj is so smart, I feel like he probably isn't considered as such by the other threats, but I hear him talk game - he is super woke. Caeleb is actually playing a very smart game too, flipping back and forth. I definitely underestimated him in early merge, his MIND. Julia I think is super game-savvy, just her style gets in her own way sometimes. Mo I feel like definitely did stuff last vote, but I see him as Jones' shadow/goat right now so would need to see much more. Tom I'm stuck because him self-voting twice I think almost definitely excludes him from winning so its hard to tell how I'd feel about him in an FTC. the main thing is that... we shall see.

BUT I AM WINNING IMMUNITYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Sending this now bc I forgot. Jason beat me in reward OOPS but I can still possibly win immunity,,,,,? Maybe?

Eek me at jules being voted out, honestly i didnt really know what was going to happen at that tribal for the sole fact that everything started moving whilst i was asleep but im kinda shocked that it ended up being jules.... Like i personally wouldnt have made that move right now maybe in like 2 more rounds. Its quite scary the fact that mitch got so many people to turn on jules when i thought she was quite the loved player. So I've gotta keep an eye out for him he's probably playing the best game atm but i think ill try to take him out sooner rather than later

I think I might have to recalibrate how I’m playing this game. I honestly didn't think I was all that close to Jules so her cursing me kinda surprised me. SO, that means I think a lot of people are gonna be cursing me in the upcoming rounds. Not that I am planning a lot of blindsides, I just feel a lot closer to the people actually left. Julia might be the only one that wouldn't curse me at this point, but also she might because she doesn't like me all that much. And being cursed a bunch might put a really large target on my back too.

y'all i just found another idol im SCREECHING. and its a boujee one too, a sapphire idol. I'm so AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, i know where 2/3 idols are for sure, I'm truly screaming.

This was me an Mitch on call when we realized we had the numbers to vote out Jules

heres the thing, i prefer the selfie scavenger hunt when im on a team because that way im motivated to get stuff done out of fear of letting everyone down. where as by myself, i let myself down all the time. ali is scary good at comps and im lazy.

ALI FOUND THE MERGE IDOL AND ITS A SAPPHIRE IDOL AHHH!!!

IM SO HAPPY FOR HIM/US BUT ALSO LOWKEY PISSED BECAUSE I GET ALL THE BRIDGE STEPS AND THEN HE GETS LUCKY AT THE VERY END LMAO. AGAIN.

BUT OH WELL ATLEAST ITS NOT SOMEONE ELSE!!

And if I had any doubts (I never had) about him betraying me before I have 0 now.. u like have to really trust someone to tell them u have 2 idols LOL I could literally expose so much right now

BUT IM NOT GONNA WOO!!! BEST DUO IVE EVER HAD! Like I know it will be hard to beat him at the end but idc I want that duo story for us

Literally an idol magnet king I knew I chose the best ally on day 1

sapphire idols sound kinda annoying tho cuz u cant choose who its played on . like what if ur plan actually works and u idol the person u wanted gone LOL

lowkey would rather a normal idol ?? anyways ali went off in immunity and its final 9 idk who will go but I kinda want like mo gone (king) but we have no strategic bond so.. plus he will slip by to the end otherwise

I doubt that plan is gonna work tho cuz idk how to lead votes!! im flop sheep!

Update on idol hunt - I'm killing johnny

Update apparently I’m running a vote KSKSKKFMFMFFK take back EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT NOT NEEDING POWER LMAOOOO

ok so Storytime

I’m talking to Tom at like 5:00-6:00 ish, and he says he hasn’t heard anything but he’d be down to vote Julia if other people were voting Julia (at this point this is the only name and it was said by Tom and that’s it)

At this point I tell Mo what Tom said (Bc tom and I were talking about Mo) and he said he wasn’t surprised Julia’s name was brought up

Talk to Mitch at like 7:00 ish and he’s apparenrly being targeted by Ali and for whatever reason I have this hero complex and I wanna save him all of a sudden?? I also feel like he’ll be a big shield down the road that everyone else would want out over me so it makes much more sense to keep him? SO I tell him about Julia.

I Run to Mo, tell him about Julia plan he’s on board. MOs talking to Caeleb, and Jason wouldn’t go behind Mitch’s back. So that’s already 5 people I think voting Julia, 6 if we include Tom and 7 if Benj also knows. Which I’ll probs tell him.

So ya??? Turned an idea into a plan!! I’m doing that y’all. Idk?? I’m proud. I don’t need need this much power after this round or else my ego will be the size of my dick but!!! Idk guys I’m proud of myself.

(Literally only 35 minutes later)

Literally having a stroke tonight laid ease

Uhm apparently Tom/Jason/Ali had an alliance and were trying to get me out and tried throwing me under the bus to Julia and tried saying shit I didn’t say,, so ya,,, :)

Tom tried twisting it like I was the one who threw Julia’s name out bc apparently she’s inactive? Which is cute,, I said jack shit about that. So ya.

Um I’m voting Tom tonight now. I’m an indecisive bitch tho so it might change but. Fuck Tom. We gotta break up this alliance apparently. Julia’s the only person that’s said shit to me this whole day about what’s happening so I’m more likely to believe her than anyone else sooo ya. Fuck Tom. Fuck these men.

[janovec]

putting this below the line bc it’s so long lmao

tagged by @ruinsrebuilt​ who is the sweetest sweet and we are also happily married if you don’t follow ash i pity you

i’m tagging @freyja-sonaan @buckcompton @bullrandleman @webgottrash @georgeluz @dustyjumpwingz @johnhalls

sorry to everyone who was already tagged!!!!!

LAST

1) Drink: water you know i stay #hydrated

2) Phone Call: my mom

3) Text Message: answers to statistics homework lmao

4) Song Listened To: chariot - gavin degraw

5) Time I Cried: sometime this week in my sleep i think ://

HAVE YOU EVER

6) Dated Somebody Twice: nah

7) Been Cheated On: no

8) Been Kissed By Someone And Regretted It: eh kind of

9) Lost Someone Special: i’ve lost my grandfather but we were never especially close so it was hard but for kind of different reasons

10) Been Depressed: :(

11) Gotten Drunk And Puked: oye yes multiple times

THREE FAVORITE COLORS

12) burnt orange

13) indigo

14) grey

IN THE LAST YEAR

15) Made New Friends: yeah

16) Fallen Out Of Love: no

17) Laughed Until You Cried: yes but a lot of those times i was laughing because i was so fucking confused about something so they were also somewhat tears of confusion

18) Found Out Someone Was Gossiping About You: no but i’ve definitely been worried about it

19) Met Someone Who Changed Your Life: i think everyone you meet changes your life in some way, but yes i think i have

20) Found Out Who Your True Friends Are: pretty much yeah. being away from most of my high school friends for a year showed me who really matters and also helped me figure out who i’ve met at college is actually a good friend

21) Kissed Someone On Your Facebook List: not with in the last year  came back to edit this because i realized i did kiss my second ASM for sister act but it was just a peck bc we are friends lmao

HOW MANY/MUCH

22) Facebook Friends: 1,059 sorry i’m trash??

23) Pets: none :((( my parents don’t like pets and i can’t have a pet at school

24) Want To Change Your Name: i don’t like my name a ton but it is a part of what’s made me who i am, because of how i’ve been perceived and also just little things like always growing up w/ people misspelling it and stuff so i don’t think i would ever change it, though i do try to ask people to use my nickname when i can

WHAT

25) Did I Get For My Birthday: my birthday is tomorrow so we’ll find out!!! i did order myself a stage management clipboard that is supposed to come in tomorrow though so that is kind of like my gift to myself lmao

26) Time I Woke Up: i set an alarm every 15 minutes starting at 7 so i could get up for my class at 8:30 this morning but i just turned them all off and decided to sleep through my class and instead got up at 9:30 for my spanish class instead ://

27) Were You Doing At Midnight: working on statistics hw, having a minor breakdown in my res hall’s cafe lmao

28) Can’t You Wait For: sister act!!!, classes to end, transferring to the music school (fingers crossed)

29) Was The Last Time You Saw Your Mom: like 2 weeks ago

30) Was Something You Wish You Could Change About Your Life: I wish I had an easily attainable career goal

31) Are You Listening To Right Now: my “songs i heard and liked” spotify playlist

32) Gets On Your Nerves: people sharing articles they wrote on the odyssey on facebook when they are just... Bad like i’m all for people writing what they want and sharing their opinions but i read these articles and i’m like.......you have so many grammar errors and did no research why do u do this

33) Talked To A Person Named Tom: like in my life i think i have idk the most recent time i have though haha

34) Is Your Most Visited Website: probably facebook and tumblr

35) Elementary School: washington??

36) High School: whs 

37) College: university of michigan

38) Hair Color: like a reddish light brown???

39) Long/Short Hair: short, a bit above shoulder length

40) Crush: eion bailey and kate mckinnon

41) Do You Like About Yourself: my passion and dedicatoin

42) Piercings: 3 in each ear

43) Blood Type: AB

44) Nickname: aj, alafral, zelski, big mama, baby hands

45) Relationship Status: single yall hmu

46) Zodiac: pisces!!!!!!!!!!!

47) Pronouns: she/her/hers

48) Favorite Show: band of brothers has been for years and always will be lmao. but i also love orange is the new black, but that’s not even near the same level as BoB

49) Tattoos: none yet!! i have lots of plans but i want to do the disney college program and you can’t have any visible ones so the only one i may get before my junior year when i plan to do that is on my ribs i plan to get my zodiac sign and my best friend and gonna get hers too

50) Left/Right Handed: right

FIRST

51) Surgery: none!! i’ve had lots of scares though and i’ve gonna lots of stitches before and stuff lmao

52) Piercing: traditional ear piercing

53) Best Friend: anna

54) Sport: soccer and dance

55) Vacation: holy shit no clue?? maybe the bahamas?

56) Pair Of Shoes: also don’t know but i remember having like red ruby slippers i loved

RIGHT NOW

57) Eating: nothing (i probably should tho damn)

58) Drinking: water

59) I Am About To: watch my statistics lecture that i missed 

60) Listening To: ultralight beam by kanye west

61) Waiting For: sam to pick me up for rehearsal

62) Want To See: sleep no more on bway!!

63) Want To Get Married: if i ever find someone :/// but yeah one day

64) Career: i don’t have one rn, hope to have some kind of career in theatre production because i’m planning to get a bachelor in theatre arts but fuck i have no fucking clue yall im jus out here like always

WHICH IS BETTER

65) Hugs/Kisses: honestly i was gonna say hugs but probably kisses, hugs from close friends always top everything but when it’s a hug from someone else i feel far too uncomfortable and kissing is fun lmao

66) Lips/Eyes: eyes

67) Taller/Shorter: i am short so i love anyone taller than me

68) Younger/Older: i feel like i usually like being around people older than me?? but i don’t think one is better

69) Romantic/Spontaneous: i’m a hopeless romantic but definitely spontaneity

70) Nice Arms/Nice Stomach: hm idk i don’t really pay much attention to either?? 

71) Sensitive/Loud: i’m like..both and everyone i like to hang out with are both i don’t think one is better than the other

72) Hookup/Relationship: relationships, i’m okay with like making out with random people but that’s about as far as i’ll go you know

73) Troublemaker/Hesitant: i feel like i lean more towards troublemakers but not necessarily recklesness

HAVE YOU EVER

74) Kissed A Stranger: yea oops

75) Drank Hard Liquor: .....also yes

76) Lost Glasses/Contact Lenses: don’t need them!!

77) Turned Someone Down: yeah 

78) Canoodling On A First Date: nah

79) Broken Someone’s Heart: ...if i have i didn’t know

80) Had Your Own Heart Broken: somewhat

81) Been Arrested: nope

82) Cried When Someone Died: no

83) Fallen For A Friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

84) Yourself: rarely

85) Miracles: generally no

86) Santa Claus: oye

87) Kisses On A First Date: no

88) Angels: i believe in something like them i think

89) Love At First Sight: not really

OTHER

90) Best Friend’s Name: abbie her url is nebulaempresse but i’m not gonna tag her in this bc she’ll make fun of me lmao

91) Eye Color: hazel/light brown w/ some greenish which i think is p much hazel

92) Favorite Movie: forrest gump!!!!!

#tags #about me #anyone else is free to do this and say i tagged you!!!!

[survivorkomnata]

Episode #3: "I’m probably the biggest threat rn because I’m gay" - Isaac

My tribe seems to hate me so that’s amazing. I understand the sentiment behind it or lack thereof. Whatever though it just seems counterproductive to blast me like that when I, and the other tribe who chooses who goes to exile, can see it.

Welp, we lost again, but last night I ended up getting rid of Shea who could have been a threat to my game and proved to be very strategic so good riddance. Right now Imm in an alliance with Fede, Stephen, Luke and Jake. And we will have to either decided to eliminate TJ or Alyssa and tbh i’m leaning more towards Alyssa but idrc tbh.

We won the challenge!!!!! Woot woot. Me and Jess have made it to 61 on the idol search! We're gettin close kids! We also strategically chose to send ratboy back to the basement!! He may find some advantage there but at least that makes tribal more difficult for everyone else!

we won immunity ✨ im so excited because tribals are stressful and now im not sure what would happen if we did attend. i feel pretty safe with the connections ive made as of this point buttttt as always, you never know.

i think there may be a swap tomorrow. it said a live challenge and all but im not rlly sure... maybe both??? swap at 14 seems reasonable too but i feel like itd be too long. but yawls could do that and then merge at 11 or smthing. either or, if we do, i hope im not swapfucked LOL.

also fuck the idol system. its so hard 4 me likeeee i always only last two steps before BZZT’ing. 😔

And so starts another round of "how the hell do I keep my name out of people's mouths?" Right now, I think the obvious vote would be to do Miguel, but there's still a lot of question in that. So do I want to make that move and be the driving force behind it, or should I play more conservative to guarantee what just happened to Shea doesn't happen to me.

Dear Confessional, I am writing to you today to confess my sins.

I really want Daniel GONE. I thought he would be someone on my side since he's the only person aside from Tim I knew prior to this game. However, he's super underwhelming. He's busy so I understand but the effort just ISN'T there. I've been trying to build some sort of connection based on our prior relationship and it's just stale. Tim expressed that he had some interests in targeting him to if we lose so I hope that time comes because HOMEBOY HAS GOTS TO GO. Him and TJ WILL work together and that won't be good for me. TJ ain't no bitch. He's gonna target me as soon as he can because of Guyana.

Speaking of Guyana.. Tim! I love Tim. I'm really enjoying getting to know Tim but he's acting so paranoid lately. Today he asked me ONCE AGAIN not to share our idol search.. Why would I do that? 1. It decreases MY CHANCES at an idol. 2. I don't have anyone on this tribe I like enough to help find an idol with BUT TIM. I know he has his doubts about me and that's ONLY normal but I hope those doubts sink like the Titanic SOON.

Tim and I are getting CLOSE in that idol search. We are half-way there. I know he's going to try and make sure I go before him in these searches to see how far I've gotten. It's going to be a mess whenever one of us gets close to the idol. I'm kind of regretting agreeing to idol search with him because that idol isn't going to JUST BE my idol and I'm a greedy bitch.

Do I think a swap will happen? Probably. I can see it happening if our tribe wins one again. Am I prepared for it? NOT AT ALL. I kind my new tribe. My new tribe makes me feel safe. I am safe when I am away from TJ and Alyssa.

So I just found the hidden immunity idol and I’m like ????? SHOOK???? Like in the game right now I’m probably the biggest threat rn because I’m gay but ALSO because I’ve been to the basement the most. Tbh Blame my fucking idiot tribe. They legitimately blasted my ass in a public place where the other tribe could see? Like OF COURSE they’re going to send me back after that. I can’t let anyone know that I have the idol. Some secrets just have to be taken to the grave. I can feel my game slowly starting to turn around, hopefully I can persevere and give the underdog story I’m meant to give 😔✌🏻 I’m literally sobbing because my tribe just HATED me and now I have another form of safety besides Takagi.

I am sooo confused rn about what being loyal actually is. I am not the kind of player who pits people against each other but rather the one who tries to keep his allies together to make progress in the game. I am only as strong as my allies so I do require solid,smart allies to enhance my game. I do believe I have found such allies in Zach, Stephen and Ally but the only problem is even though we have an alliance together there seems to be some mistrust and we are not working as a group. Ally wasnt interested on working with Zach for the idol and now Stephen and I exchanged notes to figure out that Ally has been working with both of us for the idol hunt. Stephen also came up with a plan which makes us stay one step ahead of Ally in the hunt and I am going with it so that I could build some trust with Stephen. I would have rather preferred us to be open and just worked together on the hunt as a group.

I am torn on how to handle things coz there is no other option but to lie / hide things from one person so that I could be loyal to another. I would like to be loyal all the 3 equally as of now but unfortunately thats not even an option. I do consider Zach as my #1 now but it sucks that I have to keep things away from him. I just hope I could somehow come out of this unscathed.

This seems to perfectly fit the Escape room theme of this game as you have lot of choices to decide from but you will never know which is the right path until you reach the destiny.

It’s a tough round for me, being limited during a challenge and potentially another isn’t good for me but I’m pushing through. I still have my alliance to fall back on and I’m hoping no scheming is going on behind my back but idk I’m getting some sketchy feelings from my tribe, this tribal should be interesting and show some true colors. Hopefully I can make it through to the next round and show my tribe that I will be there when they need me.

This is such a hard week for me after the drama of last round. Goddd I said I wanted to lay low and be drawback, but when people are so laid back it's really hard!! This might be my last confessional. I've decided against creating more chaos. I'm laying low and hoping that the alliance doesn't betray me. Some people are being quiet, some others are being VERY quiet. It's scary. If I leave, am I leaving this game with the head high, satisfied with my game? No. I should have played differently, I should have sticked with the plan. I shouldn't have bitten the bait so easily. Am I doing the right thing by lying low after last tribal? Probably not. We'll see. There are still many hours left…

My mental state is finally more stable and I'm less worried about school taking up my time, yay!

I think going forward I want an All-Canadian alliance, cause I love those people the most. That being said, I'm not gonna be the one to divide lines...at least not until whoever else voted me goes home!

So FUCK playing a quiet game. Usually my MO beginning games is to stay as quiet as possible but uhhhhhhhh it's not looking like the social plane of this game is going to allow that. With Shea popping the FUCK off last round, everyone on my tribe has been suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuper fucking quiet about this vote. Like.... absolutely silent. Which is like???? Cute and all????? But it's literally 6 hours before tribal and we have 0 names out there for elimination. UNLESS of course mine is somehow being thrown around??? But I doubt it because me + TJ = Duo and I have heard TJ is a VERY loyal ally. We've done nothing around camp to indicate that we're close so I wouldn't be surprised if they went to him with a plan to get me out. And I also have faith that if TJ knew of a potential plan to get me out, he would tell me. We just need a jump on a name at this point. So insert MYSELF. We have 5 people on this tribe and TJ is 100% on my side. I feel safe with Stephen and Jake, and that's majority for me. So I'm literally gonna be like that pots and pans lady like "I AIN'T GET NO SLEEP CUZ OF Y'ALL, Y'ALL AIN'T GONNA GET NO SLEEP CUZ OF ME" and be loud as F U C K about who I want out and where I want this game going. Like tbh.... I'm not even 100% on the name I'm throwing around? We just need SOMETHING that isn't me or TJ. And the bottom of the list on our tribe for me is Miguel sooooooooo ya know here I go. TJ is 100% on board, Jake seems like he is, and Fed is giving some push back. I think ultimately Stephen will do whatever TJ and I ask and if jake is on board, we don't need fed anyway. Let's just hope no one's lying to me and I don't get turned on for TALKING....

also can we talk about how i'm the only woman on this tribe? And also the only one DOING ANYTHING. Girl power, amirite?

These past few days I've tried to lay the ground work to get this idol somewhere in my grasps. I figured out that Karth and Ally were searching for the idol together while I was also searching with both of them, and came up with a plan with Karth to tell a itty-bitty lie to Ally in order to make sure one of us gets the idol. I'd really like to find the idol myself since a swap could separate me from Karth, Ally and Zach which I do NOTTTTTT want right now. Ever since I started searching for the idol with Ally, I've become a little less worried about her/Zach/Jess potentially being a tight group, since she doesn't seem to be cooperating with them to find the idol.

Strategically, I don't really know where Tim/Liam/Daniel stand. I wanted to make an alliance with them a few days ago, but I don't feel like I really need to anymore, and they don't seem all that interested in getting super in-depth strategically in the way I want from my allies. I think if we lose, Liam or Daniel will be voted out for being inactive similarly to how Timmy was. Tim and Jess have at least been active socially and I think down the line I could work with them more closely. Liam and Daniel either feel really comfortable not getting strategic with me right now, or they don't care. Either way kinda makes them look sketchy to me. Daniel especially since he was in the minority at the first vote.

OK HMMMMM ignore my previous confessional... Either this people are amazing liars, I'm incredibly blind, or they really believe I'm not snaky.... what door would it be? Cause now they started throwing names, and they seem interested in having me voting with them........ Okayyy I can work with this. Now the question is... Do I lie like last week and continue with my pizza hut character (ty Shea for the inspiration) or do I become a good boy? Hmmm

Once again Alyssas the target, it sucks because she’s awesome but i get a “good player” vibe from her and that worries me. Alternatively I can pull Alyssa, TJ and someone from the Abscondants and vote out someone else.... or maybe I should just play it safe.

We won another challenge woooo. I feel bad I wasn’t able to help, but I have just been unexpectedly busy lately. I’m still trying to keep in touch and connections with most of my tribe so when we do lose I’ll be safe. But really there isn’t much to say when we win and all get along!

So today I decided to LIE to Tim about how far I got into the idol search. I just need to keep at LEAST one search ahead of him to secure this idol. HOWEVER, pretty sure there's going to be a swap either this round or next round and alll my beautiful progress will be LOST. I feel bad about lying but I can't SHARE the idol. This is a risky move because it could possibly ruin shit with TIM so I'm scared shitless..

Also? I have an alliance now? Of: Me/ Tim/ Stephen/ Karthik? oh? I'm down with that but I don't trust Stephen not to spill to others. But when offered an alliance you CAN'T say no? right? it's NOT POLITE.

Ok so first here is my video confessional. I said 13 people left when I meant 15 but meh it will be ok.

https://youtu.be/8xbwx-pruN0

Ok so MAJOR TEA INCOMING. I just pulled a powermove by approaching Stephen about forming an alliance. He suggested it be a group and I suggested Karthik and Jess, my two closest allies as of now. ITS LIT. We're just waiting on Karthik to wake up before we make the group. We love a powerplay making King called Tim. I just hope this doesn't backfire.

thank FUCK shea got voted out... now i can go back to forgetting his unfortunate existence on the same planet as me. i wish i knew the tea from last tribal tho. obviously he’s a messy POS and based off tribal answers he came for my fave argentinian fede so... glad he went

here’s some thoughts about my Quest To Find the Idol sorry it’s a screenshot i can’t copy paste on mobile https://imgur.com/a/T9UccpS

as for my relationships with the tribe,,, i rlly love karth. he’s an angel. i like stephen but i don’t trust him. zach and jess r skinny legends. i had a nice chat with tim yesterday and he’s super funny!! the only person i don’t rlly talk to is daniel, so if we go to tribal before swap he’s who i’d want out for sure.

i’m kinda nervous about a swap but also hopeful. i feel like i have good relationships on my tribe and i also feel like i’d be open to making some w the other tribe too.

i’m gonna be high as hell for this 24h challenge so pray 4 me

20 minutes till tribal? Definitely enough time to flip on my alliance and change the vote. Yeah, its fine. its fine. definitely. So alyssa and tj had a dnm with me each, and now i feel like out of the tribe its better to vote out Fed, and jake may be the 4th vote we need.

Federico is voted out 4-3.

#escapenow #episode

[survivor-switzerland]

EPISODE 5: BACKSTABBING ME BEHIND MY BACK - ABEL

ok so if we lose this next immunity challenge i kinda want brett out. he's a huge fucking threat that needs to go. i don't trust anyone enough on this tribe to make that move happen but im also pretty sure he has an idol because of the tasks challenge. i know that someone on that tribe has an idol so. guess we'll see.

max needs to go. he's rubbing me the wrong way and tried to tell me i didn't need to study for my exams and implied i can do the challenge? bitch don't fucking tell me what i can and can't do. i sure as hell CAN and WILL vote your ass out.

Yeah so Trent goes with 5 votes for him and 3 votes for (QUEEN) Renee..

I'm happy that the OG Monte Rosa members did not lose a number during the tribal and now Luke comes in to the Monte Rosa. Putting back the OG tribe ratio back to 4v4.

I wanna know how these last two votes went so bad! Both of them had been 5 - 3. I wanna know who got C'iere out because I wanted to work with him SO bad! And there's this vote where it was 5 - 3 again... What a time to not have a third eye or whatever.

Anyway I've been bonding with Ashley Sarah and before the vote she told me that Logan is friends with Daisy and stuff. Hmm Logan is becoming a bit dangerous for my taste, I'm still weary on that alliance that Tyler suspects of Logan, Nick and Dom. I need to continue spreading my network of information because if that tight alliance of three is legit they're dangerous!! But I'm gonna continue and be the friendly person I am because that is the foundation of my mad social skillz!!

This current tribe is the purrfect (oops) time to solidify something with Ash and Brett! Me and Tyler need to rally our own army if we're going to go against Nick and Logan's.

Now in my previous confessional I mentioned how I wanted to work with Zack, but now... I kinda don't wanna?? Idk after composing myself a little I feel frightened by him plus he turned his status on skype to "away" just because I talk to much? asdfghjk buddy if you wanna stop talking then come up with a lie, jeez that's what I would do. So right now I've just been quiet today since I've gotten self-conscious lol.

So we're doing a music video and I'm quite excited on how this turn out. The song were doing is something from Eurovision which I don't know what that is but I just went along because I've got nothing better to suggest, unless if this tribe was packed with otaku's I'd probably go at it. One last note, I'm going to the beach for 4 days tomorrow so wohoo for me!!

Ciao!

I'm now on the Monte Rosa tribe! Since coming back from Exile Island a few people have asked me "what happened" which is code for "did you find an idol?" and like...I don't think these people realise that the idol clues are literally relevant to the challenges HOW am I supposed to have gotten an idol when I couldn't do the challenge on Exile. It makes me laugh that these people apparently don't realise that but oh well. This tribe is pretty cool, I feel well connected so hopefully it goes well for me. Daisy spilled her guts to me about how Logan betrayed her at the last vote and lied to her so I know I have Daisy in my pocket again. Logan and Nick are obviously working together but Logan would more than likely choose me over Nick so I'm cool with that. Renee doesn't really speak to anybody but I know that Zack would expect me to look out for her so I'm going to do that as best as I can. Zack and Renee will be trouble if they meet up again so it might be time to take Renee out sooner so I'm conflicted about what to do. I'm Abel's only friend so THAT'S fun, he trusts me a lot. Benjamin and Lily are from OG Monte Rosa but I think they'd work with me if push came to shove.

My Tatzelwurm and I are doing well, we love that we got a round to sit and do nothing but I need to survive 2 more rounds until it can hatch and help me win this game.

The dreaded music video comp ugh how I feel right about now

I'm super nervous about this tribal. I feel like there's another swap coming up after this round or the next one. I need to start talking to people more but like I have a gut feeling that people are going to want me out. If anything they should want out Tyler for not doing... anything.

ok so i talked to zack and he doesn't have an idol. or so he says. it'd be stupid to not tell me because im literally trying to save him. but i know that i need to keep my mouth shut because this is literally the same situation that happened last time. i really want to work with zack and jev but at the same time, I'm here to win. I'm trying to beat my old placement. God i hope we just fucking win this immunity challenge.

whew... I really hope our music video wins? I'm not entirely too confident in my position in the game at the moment, even if I do have some loyal allies. And plus, this kinda scenario was what killed me in Solomon, so I don't wanna deal with the same scenario again, but just slightly further into the game.

Here's what i was venting about sorry.

so Ashley sarah and I may flip to jev and zack

at least making it 4-4

but what might also happen is I might try to get the 6 monte rosa to split 3 and 3

by planting a seed of doubt by telling them zack or jev has an idol

or at least telling them that I think they do and by being safe by splitted 3-3

Ashley sarah and I would vote opposite ways

so for example

me brett and ian vote for jev

ashleysarah max and tyler vote for zack

But Ashley sarah and I don't actually vote for either of them, instead we vote for Max/Brett making the vote 4-2-2

but that would take a lot of work and convincing

Thank GOD we won that immunity challenge because I feel like I'd have been in trouble had we not won, so thank you Monte-Rosa for serving Valentina teas with your lip sync!!

I

am

so

tired

of

Daisy's fake ass pretending to talk game to me when she throws me under the bus to everyone here. Our conversations go nowhere bc she talks in circles and won't ever be straight up. Also her handwriting is ugly. Flop ass flop.

Ugh! This game man. I just can't wait until it's all done and I never have to talk to these people again!

Ok, so Abel, Renee, Logan, Ben, and myself blindsided Trent last round... I am really glad it worked because it hopefully means that we should have a majority going into this round. Immunity is this ugly ass music video challenge... so I record me doing the entire fucking excruciating lipsync and then Logan forgets to edit me in the video :( I am not gunna hold it against him because he def put a ton of work into editing but I was really made. Since I lied to Daisy and Lily last round I had to mend some bridges this round. I try and tell Daisy that Logan and I were looking out for her because it was either Trent or her. Also I really want to have those bonds, especially with Lily down the road... you never want somebody in the game who will never work with you. So we lose immunity AGAIN and end our asses back at tribal council :/ I think this should be a fairly simple vote because we can just vote out Daisy for being a crazy ass messy player who legit throws names out the wazoo whenever we lose an immunity competition. However, I have this sneaking feeling that somebody might be trying to pull a blindside TM tonight, maybe Luke? I just hope im not the target of get blindsided... I think i have been playing a very lowkey game upto now, not the traditional crazy antics of my other ORGs, sure I have generally good connections with all my tribe mates, but I dont think thats enough to land my torch in the snuffer for a couple of rounds. I think this game has bigger fish to fry before I get served with a side of tartar sauce.

The time is here. I finally get to face Daisy in the face. The one who's been backstabbing me behind my back. This ends tonight. With hopefully...her blood...on these hands.

Honestly I'm probably going home but if I don't I need to CHILL OUT. Too many people are coming to me for plans with votes and I'm not here for it. I don't want to be seen as someone calling the shots, regardless if I am or not.

WHEW I WAS LOOKING AT THE WIKI AND ORIGINAL MATTERHORN IS TRULY IN SOME HOT WATER. 4 of us have already gone home and tonight it's looking like a 5th may be leaving so AHHHHHHHHH I brought it up to Renee and she was shook so. Whew.

I've been approached with two different plans tonight. One plan is to vote out Daisy and the other is to vote out Abel. I think I'm leaning more toward where the numbers are tonight and voting out Daisy. It's great for my game because people think she has the advantage (teehee) and she's also paranoid and doesn't trust me 100% so.

I'm predicting the vote tonight to be:

Abel - Lily, Daisy

Daisy - Luke, Abel, Renee, Nick, Logan

and Benjamin is in a gray area right now because nobody knows what he wants to do. I'm hoping this goes right because I'd be 4/4 for voting in the majority and controlling the vote teehee

So we win immunity again woo!!

So I'm now in an alliance with Ashley, Tyler and Brett!! Woo my faves!! Right now we're trying to figure out if there's indeed a GIANT pre-made alliance in this game. Ugh pre-mades... Anyway we think that Logan is the one running it and he has his hands on Nick, Dom, Daisy, Lily and Luke. That's dangerous as hell and if there is a pre-made well it needs to be killed like right now!!

So it seems like tonight it's either me or Abel. Daisy vs. Abel: The Showdown! Basically, I thought I had my numbers for Abel. I had me, Luke, Nick, and Lily and all I needed was Logan or Ben to have that majority. Ben's not answering me, so I talk to Logan and tell him to just be honest with me and tell me whether he's voting with me or not. He says he doesn't know yet, but it might be me tonight and he thinks people are lying. Which means that he's now gonna try to figure out what the majority actually is, and he might vote with me he might not. Ben gets back to me and says he's heard Abel. And right now I'm confident about Lily voting with me, maybe Ben because it seems like he's been busy. But I'm nervous about Nick and Luke. Luke is trying to comfort me and reassure me everything will be fine, and I can't tell if this is similar to when he would reassure me when I was just being overly paranoid, or if this is similar to when he reassured me that Abel was going home pre swap. Also I've barely talked to Nick, and he totally lied to me last round. So he could easily be lying again. Apparently Renee is voting for Abel too? Which shocks because I was told that they're a pair. I don't know, maybe she's just trying to make sure she doesn't get votes again. Or maybe she's not actually voting for Abel. I have no idea. I'm just scared, and I feel like anything could happen tonight. I hate going into tribal feeling like I have no idea how the votes are gonna fall. It's nerve wracking.

EPISODE 5

Now Trent's gone. Great. Literally the only two people I was excited to play with have already been gunned down and I didn't get to share so much as a hello with them. It's rather depressing. I'm going to do everything in my power while I am in this game to avenge both Keegan and Trent. The good news is that with so many of original Matterhorn destroying one another, we are now up 10-6 and now I only have 6 people left on my kill list.

There has been a lot of speculation as to how original Matterhorn's hierarchy was. The first two votes were unanimous, but in the tribal council in which Ci'ere was voted out, three votes were cast against Abel. Ci'ere was the first, obviously, and I'm thinking at this point that Trent was the second--and likely the reason original Matterhorn didn't attempt to draw him in when they were swapped an even 4-4. Now it's just a matter of figuring out the third vote. Furthermore, there were three votes against Renee, leaving two players in the minority of last night's vote. Did all of original Monte Rosa and Renee vote out Trent? Or were there fractures among Monte Rosa's votes? There's a lot more uncertainty about where you actually stand in the game when you haven't attended a tribal council. I'm really curious how everything is going to unfold.

The challenge was uh...it was a god damn music video. Shoot me in the face. I immediately volunteered to sit out only to face the revelation that Luke was on Exile and had now joined the new Monte Rosa, so we were EVEN and I couldn't fucking sit out! After pushing host Amanda into a vat of monoxide, I relaxed and was able to focus on the win.

How Music Video Challenges USUALLY Go:

1. Literally everyone has different awful taste in music and pushes for something they like to be the song of choice.

2. No one agrees on anything.

3. No one wants to be the editor (and can you blame them?)

4. 7/8 people begrudgingly learn a song they don't care for and roll their eyes through their entire recordings.

5. Shitty de facto editor puts together a slapstick, shoddy video.

6. The judges brutalize.

How Music Video Challenges SHOULD Go:

1. First establish the editor. Without an editor, you don't have anything--this is the most important step to the entire thing and really should be the only thing considered at the beginning.

2. You let the editor pick whatever fucking song they want and you shut the fuck up about how much you hate it for the sake of unity and in gratitude that you're not stuck with editing said video.

3. You film your scenes enthusiastically.

4. The editor, who has gotten their way with song choice and everyone has treated with a modicum of respect, is passionate about editing said video and puts together something actually passable.

5. The judges only brutalize slightly.

I want the above steps to be circulated to literally everyone who will ever play Tumblr Survivor or any similarly formatted series because I feel like people don't understand this formula and will continue to make asshats of themselves because of it.

So Maximilian stepped up to be the editor and that was the first time since this game has started that I've ever appreciated Max. Max fucked up in the scavenger hunt. Max was useless in endurance tasks. Max has just been generally useless. So the fact that Max stepped up to be editor, a major key role in this challenge--all the respect in the world. I could not be more grateful to Max for this. Max chose a rather annoying song by a Swiss artist, but it was a good song choice because if you're like me and don't want to learn the words to an annoying song, there is a lot of instrumentation and whistling in Sebalter's "Hunter of Stars." I did find it funny that Max chose a song with chorus lyrics: "Want me to go 'cause you think I'm lying." It's not lost on me.

I told the team that it would be cute if we were to all wear red/white in coordination with the colors on Switzerland's flag. I don't recall how many of these goobers actually complied with that, but for me, I had a blast with it. I remembered that my Harley Quinn shirt that was a part of my Halloween costume is those colors and it struck me that it would be fun to dress as Harley and have the baseball bat as a prop. In my first take, I attempted to fake-hit my phone with the bat, but I actually ended up hitting it dead on and I bashed my own phone! It made for a very funny music video closer and an excellent gif, but that was not my intention! Zack made the gif and I love it so much. I told Zack, "You are my favorite Matterhorndog." The rest of the scenes went much easier and I used an umbrella and a pinata in addition to the baseball bat as props. The following day, I learned that Tyler Fennessy was unable to participate and I printed out his picture and shot another whistling scene while I was at work, in my suit, at my hotel's lakeside patio.

All in all, Max edited a really fantastic video and they killed their scenes as well--the lip synching and violin playing as on point. I think my scenes were great and Ian was a terrific dancer and lip syncher as well. It was a brilliant team effort.

Can we talk about Monte Rosa's video for a second? Yikes. Renee was so cute and animated and I feel like I would really like her personality--that is all of the positive critique I have on that video. The guys were all terrible. Lily was terrible. Daisy...she really needs to reconsider her lipstick. I've gotta say. She looked like an extra from Glee. Logan's interpretive dance was ridiculous, but he has a pretty smile. The whole thing was an utter mess. And I feel Logan's pain. Finding someone to edit the video SUCKS. And if Logan had been voted out, I would have been pissed on his behalf. As far as I'm concerned, if you step up to be editor, especially if it's because no one else can be bothered, you are IMMUNE from being voted out. The loss cannot be put on you. So points to Logan for actually doing things and points to Renee for being cute.

The original Monte Rosa members on New Matterhorn are now 5-0 in challenge wins. Ashley Sarah, Dom, Ian, Maximilian, Tyler, and myself have never had to attend a tribal council in the first five rounds of the game. It's kind of awesome, but not being involved in votes really makes it difficult to cement bonds. Tyler finally got around to pitching the idea of an alliance to Ashley Sarah and now we are an alliance of four with Ian rounding out the squad.

A few things were discussed in this new alliance of four, titled "H4rmony" (I hate the name, but I don't care):

1. Ian believes Lily was one of the two who didn't vote out Trent last round due to a voting confessional that looks like something Lily's said before.

2. Zack has allegedly told Ian and Tyler that he believes Ashley Sarah has a hidden immunity idol--it makes us believe that he is actually in possession of one. That and/or the huge advantage that came with throwing the endurance tasks challenge.

3. No one trust Logan.

4. We want to keep a line of communication open with Jevvon as a potential wild card.

5. According to Tyler, Zack claims Dom has approached him about having an alliance including Dom, Tyler, Zack, and Ashley Sarah.

6. Everyone seems to have something going on with someone except for Maximilian. Because of this, I volunteered to speak with them to see where their head is at.

So I went and talked to Maximilian and conversation literally could not have gone worse. Max was already someone I found it very difficult to talk to and this conversation just made that concrete. Conversing with this loser is EXCRUCIATING. It is so bad. Max has this air that asserts their intelligence is higher than others (but with no actual credentials to speak of). And they're just so standoffish that I left the whole conversation feeling super uncomfortable. My strategy in speaking to them was to start with pleasantries and then ease into how never losing a challenge has lulled me into a sense of security I shouldn't have and I've found it difficult approaching people because I've been warned about a massive pre-made that exists (that last part actually is the truth).

HIGHLIGHTS

Max: "I've gotten to a point with this community where shouting about premades is a surefire way to get me to vote you out the next round, to be honest."

Me: Yikes. Well you can write down whichever name you like, Max."

Max: Not threatening you. It's just the pattern I've developed."

LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? Who fucking says that? Jesus Christ that was so uncomfortable. This asshat is non-committal and wants to just sit on their ass while this whole game happens around them. You do you, Max. But you know what's not good game? Not playing ball with someone attempting to play ball with you for no apparent reason. Zack might very well have an advantage or an idol to use if we lose the next challenge. I have a simple solution and Tyler agrees with me completely: play up that we are splitting the votes between Jevvon and Zack (3-3-2), forcing Zack's hand in using their advantage/idol, but actually voting out Maximilian, someone no one will be playing an idol on (4-2-2 or 4-2-1-1 or some variation of that). Even though I'm a Neda in nature, the Ika Wong can and will come out from time to time. And I'll take a shot at this guy when he least expects it. And I won't miss.

#ihopeiseeyounever #confessionals

[survivorsolomonislands]

Episode 1 Part 2 “Hit the Ground Walking” - Matt

So I’m just doing the challenges, still struggling to keep my social game up, and I’m getting the feel that everyone is going to be leaning towards Star to be voted out first, assuming we lose, because most people have been mentioning that he is the most quiet, and honestly, I’ve only had a mini conversation with him. I still feel pretty confident with my relationship with Jacob, and then closely behind are Willow, Lily and Luca, and I think I can definitely maintain as many relationships as humanly possible. I get this weird feeling we’re either going to swap at 18 or 16, and hopefully merge at 13 or 12, so I’m going to try to not be too commanding, and let other people take the strategic lead, even though I do think I’m one of the most strategic guys here.

WHICH reminds me, I need to find a time to look for the idol, but it needs to be a time that I don’t think anyone will realize I’m looking for it, especially since Lily gave me that clue to the idol, so I’m just hoping that it can lead me a little closer, but I highly doubt I’m going to find an idol this early, but it’d still be pretty cool to get it, but I doubt it’ll happen this early. I might even not look, but Lily might ask me about it. It’s also crossed my mind that Lily could easily just be giving this clue to countless people, and I’m not the only one, but why the fuck would anyone ask someone else if Lily gave them a clue to the idol, because then people are just going to think that I’m close to Lily, so I can’t do that :X. We’ll see how I can take it from here, but hopefully the attention can be turned onto Star to start this game. I doubt there will be sides or anything, and this first vote should be relatively unanimous ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

If we’re being honest here, I genuinely don’t care if we go to tribal council…. Obviously you can’t throw a challenge like this, but the more you go to tribal, the more comfortable I’m going to be with my relationships, so I think I can make this WORK

Whew! So being on vacation is really fucking me up. I can't really help with the challenge, and I really have never been on a tribe that won this challenge, so I'm really nervous. I think me not helping will put a target on my back when/if we lose. Beyond that, I'll give a rundown of everyone so far. Karen. I love her to the moon and back. I would love to go all the way with her, but she can get scary or become a liability down the road. We'll get there when we get there Lexi/RTP. I'll do these two together because they're p much the same to me. Us three and Karen are in an alliance, but I really don't feel comfortable in that alliance. It's Karen's alliance, not ours. We're all closer to Karen than we are to each other, and that makes me nervous. Right now, I could be helpful, but down the line, I need to cut them before they cut me. Mitchell. Out of everyone in this game, I've talked to Mitchell the most. I really like and trust him I'd love if we become official allies and can work together for a long time, and maybe even stay friends after the season. Dana. See Mitchell but less so. We've talked a lot, and she's really nice and I'd love to work with her. Chrissa. I trust her to an extent. I know she might either be a vote for me or against me, and that'll just come with the votes. Gotta talk and keep her in the loop to make sure she votes with me. Linus. I? Can't? Get? A? Read? On? Him? And? It's? Making? Me? Lowkey? Mad? Matt. Can anyone hold a conversation with him? Because if you can, please tell me your ways. Every message he sends. Just. Stops. The. Conversation. And I. Have. To. Keep. It. Going. It's exhausting. Zak. See Matt, but at least he occasionally offers something I can work off and the topics are generally more interesting.

If we loose this challenge let it be known that Star did nothing. He hasn't even talked in our tribe chat, and he didn't even vote for any of our choices for the challenge. 

oh shit i forgot to give my cast assessment! okay lets see um 

Daisy - I talked to her before a few times, pretty neat gal 

Jacob - Seems nice, havent talked to him nearly as much 

Everyone else on my god damn tribe - Whomst'd've'nt'ly are you people The other tribe - Basically the above except I love Karen and wish I was with her

https://youtu.be/JRuj_xcOAsY

Donate to my cause @ help.dana.make.friends.org

RIP TEMOANA and RIP ME

I was just CASUALLY about to enjoy a lit slice of carrot cake and now my life in this game is in shambles.

Honestly I know I just submitted a confessional, but I felt that we were going to lose. I just knew it was coming because so many of our submissions were trash.

Right after we found out about the loss, Matt messaged me and wants to try to pull in Ryan and Chrissa (who I haven't spoken 2) for an alliance and then I want to pull in Mitchell and Linus. Matt immediately wanted to make a chat and I was really standoffish about it because I don't want to be involved in initiating that and moreover idk how these people would all feel about that yet since I barely know them. I also started talking to Matt and Linus the way I talked to people in Kiribati- like "oh i want to do whatever everyone else wants" and lame shit like that so that they won't see any incentive to have me voted out (and hopefully nobody else will either) if I can be manipulated so easily (which I can't, but I want everyone to fully buy into that). Also I told Linus he was my closest ally (which is so tru at this point) so he'll feel close to me and want me to stay.

AND LITERALLY AS I MAKE THIS CONFESSIONAL WE ALL GOT ADDED TO A GROUP CHAT. maybe things are looking up for me in this game? But who can say. 

Basically I don't want anyone to think I'm playing the game at all or being too forward. It's good though- because Matt just reached out to everyone under the sun to make this alliance official as fast as possible and then Ryan created the chat so it really shields from making me look too active or problematic. Ryan also asked what we want to do for the vote and I'm going to stay as quiet as possible.

This leaves out Monty, Zak, Lexi, and Karen- the latter three of whom I haven't spoken to and couldn't care less if they go at this point in the game. I planted the seed with Matt that Karen and Lexi are friends- but truthfully idk anything about them really.

Hopefully things are going to be chill for at least 1 vote. That's all I can hope for at this point. Also let me apologize now for how annoying i am in both content and quantity of these confessionals. This game is too real and I have too much time on my hands. 

God, I have no idea what to talk about for this confessional. We won the first competition which is awesome, I was impressed with how well the tribe worked together, hopefully, it is something we continue to do. My biggest worry coming into this season was my social game, I am not the most outgoing person so I knew that could hurt me in the long run but so far I think I've done okay at talking to people. An alliance was even formed so that's pretty awesome, cause I don't feel like I'm at the bottom of the tribe and I think we'll be solid until merge or swap happens but who knows. 

Well of course we lost the challenge because why not lose. Tribal council got me stressing cause I need more stressors in my life. Luckily I am p sure I'm in a solid majority alliance and we just added Linus and Dana who I can vibe with and Zak seems vibable also and I kinda just threw Lex under the bus because why not? I just wanna be in power tbh.

M SO EXCITED THAT WE BEAT THE VETS HOLY HECK!!! Especially since they're experienced since they've played before and we haven't, I don't know how to explain it, but this victory feels really good!! I think our strategy of voting for the post we thought was best worked really well! Oh also Isaac said we weren't ahead by much until the last judge, so thank you to whoever the last judge was! The vets had some good posts, but some of theirs didn't make sense. I could be wrong but my guess is that they decided to assign a topic to a different person? I don't know, and it doesn't really matter, all that matters is that a newbie isn't going to be the first boot! 

Ok so tea time. This tribal is going off! So I've been talking mostly to Karen and Mitchell about this vote and even though I want to work with both of them, they're playing on opposite sides right now. Karen wants zak out, and Mitchell has been telling me Lexi and Karen have been thrown out as ideas. So initially, Karen said Linus was saying Lexi, so I suggested Linus, but Mitchell really didn't want to do that. Instead, he wants to vote Lexi which is bad for me because I'm in that alliance with her, Karen, and rtp. So I "agree" to vote Lexi and 10 minuets later Mitchell is like "uhhh, Karen's name is being brought up now too" and I'm thinking that if I have to lose one, BYE LEXI! So I'm trying to keep him voting Lexi while trying to get votes NOT for Lexi OR Karen, and preferably for Linus. So Karen and I agree that chrissa is probably a good bet and we make an alliance chat with her. We ask who she wants and she's kinda hesitant with Linus, so we say we've "heard zaks name" (we didn't mention that it was from eachother). So we roll with zak and tell the Lexi/rtp chat about the plan. So that's 5. We need one more for majority. I also have the idea of trying to get someone from the other side throw their vote, so we end up in a 5-4-1 situation, but that seems harder. So 6-?? Is a better bet. Karen and I think Matt is a good option because he seems more old school, which is what our alliance seems to be leaning towards now. (Me? Old school now? This is crazy. I guess it's been two years since kiwayu 🙃) So that's our plan right now is to vote zak with chrissa and Matt. But with Mitchell I have options and if all hell breaks lose tomorrow, I can vote Lexi in a last ditch effort to save Karen. In all this, i just hope my name never comes up 😬

So ! I've had food poisoning and just tried eating for the first time in almost 48 hours - it was terrible and now I feel like I'm gonna die again! Anyways!

I was MIA for the entire challenge due to not being able to stay conscious, but that was no reason to sweat - the pre-merge is where my game shines. I'm able to reel in allies, assume a controlling position without appearing too threatening; not to sound cocky, but I was the instigator for most if not all of the pre-merge votes I went to on both of my prior seasons, so I'd like to think I've got some skill at this game. Hopefully I cant translate that to the post-merge this time around!!

Anyways, I stumbled into a 4-way alliance with Chrissa, Matt, and Ryan - I like it, but Chrissa is hard to talk to and I feel like Ryan is the type of dude who's going to overplay and be paranoid all the time, so eh. Matt is probably my closest ally at this point. I think we're on the same page about a lot of shit. And anyways, that 4-person alliance allowed itself to form a 6-way majority with Dana and Linus. Dana I've got trust and a good relationship in, so yippee; and while Linus worries me, it's better to keep him close than far at this point, since we seemingly do get along with each other.

In terms of target, we settled on Lexi early on. I like Lexi, but it seems like an easy vote and she's made no effort to talk to me so... goodbye!!! But then the target shifted to Karen out of nowhere??? Personally I would've been worried to do so because of Linus' friendship with her, but he seems okay with it, so fuck yeah - Karen's got out-of-game connections so getting rid of her works for me. BUT THEN fuckin Chrissa comes out of nowhere wanting to target Zak and get this... she doesn't want Monty to be mad at her for voting off Karen so she threw Zak's name out there and gave Monty something to run with. Chrissa, that's just dumb for a couple reasons. First - Zak has nobody in this game and can be a number for us. Particularly, I feel very close to Zak and know that his loyalty lies with us, or better phrased, with whoever isn't coming after him. Second - You wanted to target Zak so Monty wouldn't get mad that we're targeting Karen... red flags????? If there's such an obvious, tight pair, you want to separate that, not give it the opportunity to fester and grow. It feels like common sense to me. Third - Without Karen, people like Monty and Linus suddenly become more open to us because someone they're close with is gone. Like... c'mon.

Karen and Lexi haven't talked to me, I've had some chats with Monty and I've been open with him that from what I've seen it looks like it'll be between Karen and Lexi, and I've got complete trust in Zak that I feel is replicated. I don't think I'm in trouble right now, but this vote is being more stressful than it should be just because nobody can fucking sit still.

Idk... maybe people will think I'm tryna play too many sides and boot me first for that??? But I don't see it. Let's keep it simple. Hopefully I don't die. xoxo

So Ryan tells me what Monty made a chat with Karen, Lexi, and the two of them last night to target Zak, which proves to me that my sticking up for Zak has ostracized me. I knew that Karen/Lexi/Monty were tight, and the fact that none of them have brought Zak's name up to me really shows something, in my opinion - I'm on the outs with them, and that's fine, because they're on the outs with me too.

...bUT THEN OUTTA NOWHERE CHRISSA POSTS IN THE TRIBE CHAT THAT SHE WANTS US TO VOTE HER OUT??????????????????????? what the fUCK?????????????????????????????????? is this all some kind of fucking PLOY???? i don't get it but... WOW WEE

So a clusterfuck of a tribal this is. I suspect something fishy to happen bc a group of people are like out to get me for no reason, monty/Karen/Lexi but everyone was telling me I have nothing to worry about and the majority want Lexi or Karen gone because the two of them are really tight with monty and people don't like obvious groups. Then, Chrissa announces she wants to fairplay bc shes so stressed, and that should easily save mine/karens ass (whichever one of the two of us who ended up getting voted out) but I genuinely feel like something is still up. I kinda want to throw my vote at Karen bc she was really gung go about getting me out, but Matt is dead set on voting Chrissa now so idk if its smart to just do it alone. Either way I'm expecting votes tonight but if Linus, Matt, and Mitchell are telling the truth I'm fine. I'm just really idol paranoid. 

Well I guess it's true what they say about Survivor, it's unpredictable af. First we were gonna vote Karen then Lex then Karen then Zak then Karen and now by ride or die has chosen to die, Chrissa and I were so solid I had so much trust in her she had shared with me her idol clue and all the stuff Karen had discussed with her and I was like shit this good, but all of the sudden I come out of class and she is checked out and I have to respect her wishes. I don't know what this means for the future tbh I'll keep you posted. And i wanna snag this fricking idol just so I know nobody else has it. 

Us Rookies won the first immunity! This is such a nice feeling to have, knowing that you're safe whatever happens. Our tribe worked well as a unit and we beat the Veterans by 10 points.

Still, knowing this I think it's super important to underline how useless Star was for us. Why join an ORG if you're not going to talk/participate? I think he'll be the first person to go if we lose.

I'm back bitches! Everyone's least favourite 4th player because probably no one knows who the hell I am! My tribe is honestly a total mixed bag so far. They are god awful at communication for challenges, that first one was a disgrace (I sucked too though so I can't yell at them too much). Losing the first comp isn't terrible though as now I can strategize. I'm making plans within plans. In Myanmar I was always on the outs during the tribal phase, but now I have my alliance with Dana, Ryan, Matt and Mitchell, and Chrissa of course, but she's quitting qq. Within that I basically have a final 2 with Dana, and I'm trying to also become the go to ally for Ryan and Mitchell. Zak isn't actively coming for my head too which is also a plus, and he even came to me when he was worried there was a plan to blindside him. My big target right now is Karen, she keeps saying in the main chat to meet her irl, which is cool since we're in the same city, but if people think I have an irl friend in the game that makes me a huuuuge target. Grr I just wish Chrissa wasn't quitting.

so I wanna make my last confessional for this game if i go which hoping i do I died for queen karen that should be attested that part of this is because karen being first boot? insane, I love my tribe but i am in so many games, and this game is too much side seasons are easier like no one is ever this split in a side season week 1, that scares me and either way i vote i would be pissing someone off i vote zak i piss the majority alliance that was started with me, and if i vote Karen i piss Monty off and i know this is a game but i want to work with Monty it's been a goal to actually have him not stab me in the back, and i don't know why they'd want Karen gone week 1 first who is Karen going after Zak, not any of them, she isn't a danger to them Matt has seemed to never trust Karen and as much i love him i can't agree Karen is pretty loyal if you work with her not against her. I know though they think it's easier to pull zak in but if i betrayed Karen and Monty pulling monty in would not be easy this may seem like i am a coward but this is week 1 lol and i don't want this high of game play week 1 when i am loyal as fuck.

Before I become the official first boot of Soloman Islands, I figured I might as well actually submit a confessional because I need to make Callie proud of my dedication.

So to start off, I might as well say that I have no idea who half my tribemates are and that is really saying a lot because I have no life so I should know everyone but some of these people are so obscure that I haven't even read their wiki pages like what?? I was actually trying the first day to have a social game with some of these people but I literally can not do it.. I hate small talk.. I hate my wifi... I hate everything about the social aspect of Survivor which yeah I know, like why I am here then, but the school year is almost over and I was bored and when I am bored I become a fucking idiot and sign up for games. So above everything else that I hate about everyone else, I hate myself the most because I put myself through this when I clearly should not. Anywho, so yeah I tried to actually respond but sadly my wifi died out because of ****** (happy end of jtia day!! - mark ya calenders) and it was just not loading anything besides like... nothing. I think Monty and Linus (is that his real name? I hate Skype names literally they confuse me so much.... is it even a he... idk) messaged me once it died but its still saying "Updating Conversations" ctfu so who the hell knows. Though Karen was smart and texted my stupid ass instead of dealing with the ugly Skype messages so at least I am aware that I will be the first boot - always be self aware kids... numero uno tip from me btw is to say everything is going to happen so you do not look stupid when the worst happens, has not failed me yet and I look smart at the end so win win? Yeah anyways.

I am in this alliance with Karen, Ryan, and Monty aka the first four boots and I am happy to lead our alliance to victory of that name because if I go down I am deadass bringing my entire tribe down with me... I am that petty. I am even more petty about the fact that this is all happening because someone who isnt in the fucking game is controlling this vote even after the fact that someone ASKED to be voted out... who is that petty? someone who damn well knows who they are and needs to collect themselves but that is all I am going to say on that matter. But yeah thats just how I feel about this entire thing? Yes I am not the most "active" person to ever play this game but it is also a two way street and the ugly ass people who are insisting on voting me out have not tried to message me either so really who is at fault here....?? Certainly its the both of us (again be SELF AWARE emphasis on the self btw).  I told Karen I wasn't a social player and she asked me to explain Palawan but literally I sucked there too ctfu dkgsj BYE I DEAD ASS HATE EVETRYONE GOODNIGHT

#thequeenstaysqueen