he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
5K notes
·
View notes
hey i know your post about your mom was mostly just a personal vent, but i have to say, do you realize that also happens with trans girls and their fathers? literally happened to one of my friends. i’m not trying to downplay your experience or something but i found it strange that you seem to think this is something that only affects transmascs
i have one question for you: so fucking what?
i don’t doubt that trans girls have experienced similar things and yeah, that’s bad too, but what the fuck does that have to do with me and the specific things i’m facing as a result of being a trans man? i never said “look at this thing that happens to ONLY trans men and NO ONE ELSE,” i just said “hey, isn’t this thing that happens to a lot of trans men, including myself, fucked up?”
i would also like to point out that what you’re talking about is in fact a different (albeit similar) thing. the way cis people treat trans people can differ dramatically based on the cis person’s gender because their commitment to gender roles is, like, a major part of problem. the specific way a cis mother reacts to her trans son’s transition is often going to be very distinct, while a cis father will likely respond to his trans daughter in a different but equally distinct way.
what i’m talking about is a very specific kind of ownership and control and self-victimization and total lack of boundaries masquerading as love and care and maternal concern that cis women (i would argue white cis women in particular) project onto their transmasc kids when we do literally anything to our bodies. i’m talking about a phenomenon which is closely related to the way moms often pass eating disorders onto their daughters (or children they view as daughters) because they see a body that looks something like theirs and project all of their insecurities and ideals onto it. i’m talking about a form of parental transphobia and projection that’s specific to the dynamic of a cis mother and her child who was “supposed to” be her daughter.
if you’ve never felt that, you’re not even remotely qualified to tell me shit about how i should be talking about that experience, and if you couldn’t recognize that experience when you read my post, i’m guessing you probably haven’t experienced it because the replies to that post made it very clear to me that anyone who has experienced it firsthand immediately knew exactly what i meant.
like, yeah, cis dads also project onto their trans daughters, but are they likely to have a reaction like running away with actual tears streaming down their face? do you expect them to passive aggressively make comments about how sad their kid’s transition makes them, how it’s such a difficult emotional time, how it’s so tragic because their kid’s body was so beautiful before? do you think their go-to transphobic reaction will be weaponizing their emotions? i’m sure there are some dads out there who are like that, but i think we can agree they’re in the minority because that’s not how cis men are taught to react and parents like this tend to be pretty damn committed to following the gender roles they were taught.
and even if i’m wrong and our experiences are exactly the same, let me reiterate that i never said this was an experience exclusive to trans men. all i said is that it happens to us. that’s just a statement of objective fact.
this started in my life when i got my hair cut short for the first time almost a decade ago and it has not stopped since. i’ve watched my mom cry over me changing my name and respond to being asked if my happiness matters more to her than my name by saying “i care about both”, i’ve watched her melt down in a mall over me getting a suit for prom and give me the silent treatment for days after, i’ve heard her plead with me to stop t because it “looks unnatural” and she’s just so “concerned for my health”, i’ve watched her stare at me post-op and say “my poor baby” over and over like she’s looking at my corpse in a casket. i’ve watched her turn herself into the victim of every single aspect of my transition. i’ve had to live with this for 9 years and spent the early years of the pandemic literally locked in a house with it. this has been my entire adolescent and adult life, and the question of if i’ll have to cut her off someday (and maybe never see my cat or my little cousins who i love more than anything in the world ever again as a result) haunts me every single day.
who the fuck are you to tell me how to talk about that?
226 notes
·
View notes
#1 thing i'm most afraid abt in the revival is the candace characterization actually bc we are in a paradox here
fact: candace's endless torment was part of the backbone of the show, one of the constants that kept the plot structure going. phineas and ferb must always do something new. candace and doofenshmirtz must always lose. any exceptions to these rules can't be permanent. status quo must be upheld.
fact: candace against the universe's character development seemed to finally be breaking this cycle. candace isn't alone anymore, she's letting go of her obsession to see the support that was always there for her and thus she's escaped her sisyphean cycle. to go back to the old status quo after this would be massively unsatisfying.
fact: the reboot is supposed to take place AFTER candace against the universe.
so what do we do now
155 notes
·
View notes
i really like how trimax constantly emphasizes that vash's kindness is a choice, a deliberate and powerful one. it contrasts him so well to knives, who's so disdainful towards humanity as a whole. but vash actually interacts with people and is involved in society. and, by extension, he's been hurt by it so many times. but despite this he chooses love everytime and defends humanity.
meanwhile, knives has never participated, always seems to watch people from a distance. still, he makes claims about the cruelty of humanity, and he uses the idea of human cruelty to justify his actions, despite the fact that he's likely never directly been victim to it the same way vash and the other plants have. not to understate the whole tesla situation, but he assumes that he has the authority to decide the fate of humanity, even though out of every plant he's probably not the one who's in the position to make that sort of decision. (and frankly, it's not a decision any single individual should be making)
so this moment is so poignant, though vash might not be directly talking about himself we know it applies to him, we know how much violence he's suffered. it's written on his skin (his shirtlessness in that scene is very pointed). and we know that knives hasn't really experienced that. and knives is ultimately very self absorbed, he assumes he knows what's best for the plants and what they want, so he uses them to achieve his goals without consulting them. unlike vash, who as we see in the finale, has made efforts to communicate with the plants (communication and connection is such a big thing with vash!) he's familiar with them, and they him, and that's one of the reasons they seem more willing to follow vash's path than knives.
the difference between vash and knives is that vash sees everyone as an individual with inherent value. knives is unwilling to do this and he turns groups into monoliths, refuses to see individuals or nuance.
one of the big ideas of trigun is that conflict occurs because people don't see those around them as individuals. so what really saves the day isn't guns or firepower, but understanding between people. vash helps facilitate this understanding between humans and plants because they're all familiar with him, he's put a lot of effort into getting to know everyone! and with everyone he meets he embodies the idea of love and peace, helps them believe that cooperation is possible.
255 notes
·
View notes
i hope it's ok to do this because i know youre a fan of tma but there's a pretty long piece of investigative journalism from some fairly wellknown names in audio drama about rusty quill and their behavior towards their employees and producers of shows on their network that i think is worth reading medium[.]com /@newtschott /whos-afraid-of-alex-j-newall-ae3a67f3a5e1
oh man. this is extremely disappointing, to put it lightly. i never really kept up with the workings of rusty quill itself, so i apologize now to anyone who got into the magnus archives because of me and decided to support rusty quill financially as a result when it appears that at the very least they've been very incompetent with how they manage their company and treated their staff unacceptably. if i'd been aware of this, i would have tried to make people aware of what they were potentially getting into. i'll definitely have to think hard about whether i want to engage with the planned magnus protocol sequel at all (even through piracy or something), let alone talk about it on my blog :/
i'm going to link the article here since the link you gave me in the ask didn't work for me. i recommend reading the whole thing to anyone who decides to check it out, and paying attention to the author's requests not to harass or 'cancel' rusty quill for their actions, but hold them accountable and be aware of their flaws.
637 notes
·
View notes