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#idk ive been thinking about it in my free time
fad3d-f3rn · 8 months
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uhm brainstorming that bramblecrow au, kinda wanna make it a new prophecy rewrite!
the prophecy cats would be: crow, feather, tawny, and bramble (and storm tags along) and in this au crow is a lil older so theyre all kinda besties
theyd also get some name changes like ex. Crowfang, Brambleheart, Tawnyclaw, and Featherstream (Stormfur keeps his og name)
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skunkes · 6 months
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ok posting it here bc im not sure if its going to stay in the doodle page
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jackklinemybeloved · 1 year
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went into this episode excited to see ylfa and the beast interact and crossing my fingers for a good elody and gerard union and came out with an existential crisis about these young nihilistic women running themselves into the ground and destroying everything because they don’t know what else to do
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1o1percentmilk · 10 months
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i love looking at people's aesthetic tags because theres usually some sort of theme going on
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camelspit · 7 months
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succumbing to the demons and dnfing a book for the first time in years 😔
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scarletcomet · 1 month
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scrolling through instagram and it's making me want to die
#i know instagram doesn't represent ppls real lives#but that doesnt change the fact that i don't have many friends who care about me#and almost everyone my year is graduating and celebrating#i am so fucking lonely. i don't think any of my school friends miss me#24 days self-harm free but i might say fuck it and relapse tonight#why though? i guess i just need some way to express how im feeling inside. or maybe it's to punish myself or because im feeling worthless#it's been over a year now since i first reached out to professionals for help for this depressive episode#over a year and im still as lost as ever. i know im doing so much better than i was but i still feel so awful every single day#i feel like i still need to be doing a lot better before i can go back to school#i feel so stuck and hopeless. i know I've made so much progress but i don't feel as if ill be able to make anymore progress#i feel like I've hit a wall and ive tried everything#my therapist told me to just keep eating sleeping and getting movement in everyday and be patient#ive been going on walks every day for like 2 weeks now and i dont feel any difference#seeing my psychiatrist wednesday and im hoping she will have an idea of what to do#i hope it's not just slightly adjusting my meds or even just trying a different antidepressant (not many left i haven't tried)#i also worry that im not bad enough for more intensive treatments like ECT or ketamine#if she tells me that i just need more therapy or another group i might just fucking end it#idk like i kinda feel like im fine and there's nothing wrong with me but at the same time i always am feeling so fucking depressed#i have had so much improvement but honestly part of me wishes i was still actively suicidal#idk what to do
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orcelito · 1 month
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i miss akechi goro so much. maybe even enough to finally finish that ladue chapter 3
#speculation nation#ladue shit#listen hes such an asshole and i NEEEEEEED to channel his voice for a bit again#if this urge persists to tomorrow i'll crack open the fic again. for a little reread.#this will satisfy only approximately 53 people (the total subscribers to that fic)#which ok that's actually a good few people when i think about them as actual people#but it's the least amount of subscriptions i have out of most of my multichapters#EVEN STILL. it's a matter of pride and self-satisfaction.#and god fucking damn i have 18k for chapter 3 already written. i literally just need to close the damn scene up#it's been over a YEAR NOWWWWWWWWWW like holy fucking shit. i need this OUT ALREADYYYYYYYYYYY#ladue chapter 3 i will free you into the abyss. i cannot promise more than chapter 3 but i can promise a chapter 3 at least.#i had a whole plan for the fic but idk if i'll ever be able to write it#considering it's taken like. ... years. between chapters.#it took me 2 years to post chapter 2 and it's been a year now since then. ugh.#see the thing is chapter 3 closes the initial arc of them starting to date. and then there's more stuff.#maybe i'll keep it open just in case the urge strikes me to continue it eventually.#and if it never does. i might make a 4th chapter that outlines the eventual plans i had for the fic. so that people know at least.#ive seen that a Few times for discontinued fics.#....but the thing is i dont want to mark any of my fics discontinued!!!! theyre all my darlings!!! i want to go back to them all eventually#i'll just have to see. if a chapter 4 ends up taking several more years. well. maybe it'll be time to call it there. who fucking knows lol#i'll try to get chapter 3 finished sometime soon though. i really want to have it out already.
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narelleart · 2 months
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I kind of want to be a tumblr again.
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rapidhighway · 11 months
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i have to go get a pen
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mukamibabe · 2 years
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Hi!
Maybe a scenario on Karlheinz and Richter getting addicted to their s/o's blood? Like they had her blood once and ever since became addicted to it.
ok... because i'm not sure if you meant karl and richter separately or not so.. i present you with all three options: karlheinz, separate, richter, separate and then both! karlheinz and richter being addicted to their s/o's blood. i.. just got another thought of them ,, 'accidentally' getting addicted to eachother's s/o's blood's(?). ? i dont feel like im phrasing it right. and if that was terrible grammar? i don't have an excuse other than - sometimes i'm dumb sdhfksdf anyways. i may post that last idea in another post, kinda depends if anyone wants it/?? but for now!!:
also. it killed me to actually write short scenarios for once lmao also if the cuts bother anyone just let me know?? im not new to tumblr etiquette but its been a while jdskfhsd if anyone has issues with it please tell me bc i have no idea
karlheinz + richter sakamaki getting heavily addicted to their s/o's blood. (both separate and also. not lol)
umm, for content warnings i guess, there's really not much to any of this but is more like.. a mental dive into like.. their sanity during this ?? ahfdss i almost want to say it gets yandere-ish, but honestly i'm not sure. dialovers has really confused me with such lmao
if this isn't to your liking/what you preferred, i'll rewrite to your liking!! still not sure if i'm making sense but its 4 am. yea i know i write everything at 3-4 am buuut.. everything still comes out ok right??? DSjfhdsf idk i feel like it also came out more of like. a poem or something. hfhghd just let me know ok?? thank you for the requests as always <3
edit: this might seem a little sloppy ? maybe? hopefully not ??? i ended up writing this a while back and coming back to something after a while .. is tricky. i still really hope this is okay!! i need to get content out hjgfdsf busy times ;;
karlheinz
He wasn't sure how it happened. He could recall when, however. As cheesy as it may be, Karlheinz' first taste of them was, for some reason, one of the things he'd craved the most since a long time. After he had gotten just a taste of their blood for the first time, it almost drove him mad with how much he wanted more. Not only because controlling that itch is difficult (though not exactly a struggle for a more powerful vampire such as himself), but also because he couldn't put a finger on why. Why did their blood taste like nobody else's he's had? It was almost annoying with how Karlheinz' thoughts were busy running constantly, the taste stuck in his mouth yet, there was none of it.
It was dangerous. For both of them.
If the king started to lose himself even more, which he already was, for some reason he couldn't piece together, which then added yet another thing to his mental, and physical torment. Something in him snapped that very first bite, and ever since, the man has felt himself lose his grip on both himself as well as reality. Even if he had indulged, the more frequently he did so, the more likely death was to approach his beloved.
And for whatever reason, even daring to think about living without them was painful. He felt as if he should keep them isolated, protected from his desires that only got greedier day by day. Was it fear? Karlheinz did not believe so, but what he did believe was that this had to end. Before he truly went mad. Before they die. In which Karlheinz would tear them apart, savoring their delectable, deadly blood for the last time. Perhaps it'd be better that way. If they no longer existed in the world, it would make things so much easier for Karlheinz.
This likely wasn't love, Karlheinz knew so already. But did it matter? As long as he could keep them to himself, with no one to interrupt.. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad. For it to just be the two of them, his sweet little thing that makes the man want to succumb constantly. 
To be rid of them was definitely the best option, if both Karlheinz and his precious prey held any value for their life. This sudden downslide of his sanity was a first, and every possible way he could think of for handling it did not please him. If Karlheinz kept them, they’d be completely drained after a point of time. If he disposed of them, there’d be an emptiness to Karl that couldn’t be filled. Letting them live but keeping a distance from Karl would not work, either. The thought of anyone else drinking their blood was almost... painful.
There was another option, however, if such thing was possible. 
To turn them. To stake his claim over them forever.
There were to many options. None of which he wanted to pursue, really. He wasn’t sure about any of it. He wasn’t sure how they managed to beguile him in such a way.
What he did know was that this obsession he had over them- the way they had him completely spellbound, somehow- was frustrating. And, it was definitely not going to last for long.
richter
In the perspective of this brooding vampire, love at first sight was nonexistent. The way he treated his prey almost said otherwise, though it certainly wasn’t love. Nor did it have anything to do with sight; rather, it was taste. He had always been an obsessive man, an obsessive lover. It was almost inevitable for everyone he managed to get close with. The number of such is low, for sure, especially for being someone his age, but regardless, this has happened before.
Unlike his awful brother, Richter could expect this. He foresaw it the moment he even considered drinking their blood. It wouldn’t be the first time, and, if they are able to survive his obsession, which was already pretty intense, then hopefully it’d be the last. It also wouldn’t the first time he’s said such a thing.
To his own dismay, he knows this should end. He’s not concerned for himself, but his beloved, rather. As odd as it may seem, the man has loved before. His view of love may be just as strange as the rest of his family, but did it matter? His love also just so happened to be one of the reasons he was thriving, both figuratively and literally. Blood was a powerful thing, and after so many years, Richter could admire it, at least slightly. At the very least, he was thankful. 
However, in this case? Their blood was purely his. He knew this, yet, he worships it. He worships them, for being his, for being such a bewitching creature. Maybe it wasn’t just them, perhaps it was just his nature to dive deep into any sort of attraction he develops. Maybe it was something else completely. 
He knew what he had to do. It would be merciful. The ‘humane’ thing to do. 
As if he had morals. 
His love was not safe near him, and truthfully, it was a genuine concern whether or not they’d survive Richter’s never-ending hunger for everything they had to offer him. Blood, body, soul. But, he wasn’t strong enough to do so. They were his weakness. 
And he planned to keep them for as long as possible.
+ bonus karlheinz & richter 
Again. 
Of course.
Fate was not kind to Richter, and he was aware of this. Yet, it seemed the world was not content with allowing him to not compete for love. 
If this was even a matter of ‘love’. It was definitely arguable- he enjoyed their company, sure, but whether their company beat their blood taste? There was a clear winner, for now, anyways.
Yet again, the younger Sakamaki must fight for what he desires. Because, naturally, his elder sibling yet again had no need to fight for anything. It was them. The one Richter had grown ..attached to, putting it lightly. And what does Karlheinz do? Swoop in and try to seduce them into his own arms?
It was horrid. But, unsurprisingly, not the first, and definitely wouldn’t be the last. It seemed to be the way the world worked- Obviously fate favored Karlheinz over Richter. Surely.
Karlheinz did not believe so. Was there an issue with seeking out what you desire? Karlheinz knew what good blood tasted like, had sampling plenty throughout his life. He just had an eye for it, you could say. Apparently, this was something he had in common with his brother- the dark haired man had a knack for picking out good prey, something Karlheinz couldn’t deny. So, why wouldn’t he try to get a taste? 
In Karl’s eyes, if they truly were a good little pet, they wouldn’t need to even think of any options. Why refuse him? He could show them a world so much better than any way his brother might have already.
Unfortunately, as lovely as it may be, at least for Karl, the two brothers can’t fight forever. Eventually, one of them will give up, despite both of them sharing yet another similar characteristic- determination. Ambition. Stubbornness, even. 
It’d be a constant tug-of-war over the prey, and at some point, their toy might lose themself before they choose one brother over another. Neither Sakamaki will allow for it. They belonged to them. Not both, exactly, but with the rate in which things were happening, neither were going to give up any time soon.
Perhaps all three would just have to get used to endless sharing.
#HGdfshgf more about putting things under read mores: i know it's good to do so where like. . there's like. mature/triggering content#and also longer content. i just have no idea what's *too* long and what's not lol#i mean? i dont think anyone's annoyed by it and i'm 100% overthinking but shhh let me#but also dont lol thanks#its terrible and awful!! and a waste of my time!!!#cindy said :) tantrum time#no honestly not really jsdfhsdf im just tired and abusing the tagging feature. and using it as my diary lmao#also.. ive been fixated on other things. dl is still here i promise#its actually providing me lots of inspo so thats fun#honestly i'm just trying to figure out how to balance my free time more#life requires lots of work and im just ! living Jsfdjdf i want to keep myself occupied with other activities that im fixated over#first one being : genshin#the other one is a secret but its super dark. like very. anyways#yeah that's where ive been#then?? then i just fell into naruto again somehow lmao#it always happens to me :'((((#FJDHFJDSFH#right now the fixation is on sasuke. for some reason. umm#KHFdsfs#honestly idk if i like this but i just needed to post something#or else i'd get eaten up by guilt#i hope this is okay ;;;;#Diabolik Lovers#yandere diabolik lovers#like i said i feel like i went with a completely different style with this one ..?? i dont think i love it but.. whatever#karlheinz#karlheinz sakamaki#karlheinz sakamaki x reader#richter sakamaki#richter sakamaki x reader
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thelostboys87 · 9 months
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bro the post grad "what the hell do i do now" is so real
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manlymothman · 10 months
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sigh
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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...
#🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭#this is dumb. like i have a lotta steps to go bc i can even consider this a possibility but i met with one of the ppl#im talking to for a phd. hes from a big impressive uni and his research is so fucking cool#and he thinks my cv is competitive for scholarship and he wants to support me as a student#so 🥺#i did not sleep much. i was having stress dreams plus i was a lil dehydrated lol#and i was watching a talk he did over and over until i got why he was so excited about it. bc it was real fucking cool once i got it#and we talked for like 80min abt our interests and potential projects. and now i have to take some time and start a proposal#bc im gonna do at least 2 scholarships and the deadlines are happening pretty fast. so rip my free time#but like it could potentially include genetic engineering and adaptive evolution so like so so cool#i mean its a lil risky bc he is only just establishing his lab. so its not like hes had a bunch of students but i think at this point#even if hes not so hands on i can probably drive myself forward#we'll see what happens. it would be super fucking cool to do some genetic engineering nonsense. and fucking adaptive evolution#ugh and get to live in the uk again 😭 i miss the gray english skies#so yea thats 2 potential projects im really invested in now#so like. it depends on if i can get the scholarship. which will be intensely competitive#so idk. we'll see. and ive got a meeting with another guy monday#but its the dude from Arizona and i dont wanna live there so im hopefully the project isnt as cool... but i think it kinda is so rip#ugh. its been a wild day. im so tired.#but happy. but also sad i wont have as much free time for drawing#but again happy bc im gonna learn and up my writing skills and chase my weird wild dreams :-)#unrelated
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kulemii · 1 year
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i never really realized until recently that i could write smut for myself in the 1st pov and not go to jail. i am a free woman
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mallowaj · 11 months
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yall ever watch a movie from the 80s / 90s with the most in your face queercoding ever seen, load up its tumblr tag hoping to see some gay person saying the exact same thing, but theres NOTHING?!! like, was it just me??? who read into this???? its so baffling everytime man, because how on earth did NO ONE think the same thing and go on tumblr to talk about it. I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#phil speaks#i watched the shawshank redemption yesterday and. man.#i dont think redd or andy were necessarily in a romantic relationship or nything like that#BUT#the relationship they did have felt deeply queer with the whole becoming “institutionalized” thing and whatnot#and im not saying that to overlook the corruption of modern prisons / police in general#(i mean that LITERALLY goes hand in hand with the queer experience as well lolz so its fitting)#but i think that that same institutionalization can be applied to the queer experience#my favorite example is when redd is finally honest with the board and tells them exactly how he feels about himself / his time at shawshank#it felt a LOT like coming out especially with how his life goes after doing so#like yr telling me this guy had to change who he was after doing something that broke a societal norm then adhered to that norm + /#expectations of others for so long that he lost himself and only found himself again when a man who went against the norm to be himself /#entered his life? and then befriended him and learned to be unapologetically himself which ultimately lead him to an even more difficult /#path of self-acceptance but once he did accept himself and broke free from expectation he went to live the rest of life out with the SAME /#man who sent him down that path!??!?!??!#THAT FUCKING QUEER.#QUEER AS HELL EVEN.#idk i was vry invested in this movie for no particular reason an i was flabbergasted that no one else read into it like that#so sorry for the rant but i HAD to talk abt it bro#ive been thinking abt it nonstop#anyways#andy felt very aro to me especially with the whole “that doesn't make you a murderer. a bad husband? maybe.” thing that went down#the way his character expresses love is very platonic even with his wife#also. with andy being aro. i dont think its much of a stretch to think redd and him are a qpr#like youre really gonna send this guy to go dig up a letter asking him to come live with you in mexico that is buried under the same spot /#where you and your wife “made love” and you make sure to note that he cant know whats inside of that letter until he essentially comes out#making sure that theres a committment???#LIKE DAMN#if that isnt a proposal of some sort idk what is#this has been phils queer reading of the shawshank redemption
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matchandelure · 2 years
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thinking about tkrb once again...
#idk u guys something clicked in my brain and now im rewatching katsugeki for the...6th??7th time??????#mostly for the mutsu scenes and the tsuru scenes and the yagen scenes and the first unit scenes and the tsurumika teamup at the end and#oodenta being so cool during the thunderstorm and literally throwing the enemies with his hands and hhhhsodufhdh#and aaaaaaaa i actually discovered ufotable through katsugeki!!! their animation reallly is yummy aaaaa#maybe i'll rewatch hanamaru after too...need some of that lighthearted good stuff to balance things out yknow#ive also been reereading the anthologies and keeping up with the new manga!!!#tourabu that has elements of the supernatural...youkai... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa its everything#and mononoke's creator is working on it!!! truly amazing#idk sudden feelings and yearning for tourabu again i just love it alot#something about you. and these tsukumogami you have the power to summon. fighting off the enemies in this war waged against time and#history and just. u kNOW ITS LIKE A BIG FAMILY#hanamaru has made me cry before bc they're all just#swords many with such long illustrous histories and those arent always the...prettiest#but the way they learn to slowly adapt to human customs. the lighthearted banter and daily lives they live in the citadel#and THE FACT THAT WE GET SOOOOOO MUCH FREE REIGN OVER THE SANIWA SINCE WE ARE THE SANIWA#THE TINY AMOUNT OF LORE GIVES FOR SO MUCH ROOM FOR CREATIVE FREEDOM#just..udhudhksdfgshdkjghdsldk i love tkrb#comfort series. i love it the same way i love pokemon#i remember discovering it back when zoku first started airing... so like. 2017-early 2018#maaaaan its been a while hUH?! TO THINK WE GOT MIKA KIWAME THIS YEAR#I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD HAPPEN#i mean i knew it eventually would have to but i always thought it was this big huge far away thing#but i love mika kiwame cannot wait to send him off i still...need to prepare stuff#the great invasion event a few months ago really shook me. THE WAY THE OPENING LOADING SCREEN GOT ALL GLITCHY#ALL THE SCENES WITH MIKA NO LONGER INCLUDING HIM#HIM LITERALLY VANISHING LIKE. WHAT NO WHERE R U GOING#AND THE CUTSCENE AT THE END WHERE OUR STARTER SWORD FUSED WITH MIKA AND IT WAS SO PRETTY!!!!!#ok rambling time over im signing off and going to bed gnight#willows rambling branch#willow rambles about tkrb
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