#idk how to not see it as my fault

[disillusionmp3]

ahaha😎💯

#i haven't talked abt this w anyone yet bc it's so fucking humiliating #but my ex's corworker was in love w them and one time they asked me 'would u be mad if i made him believe i liked him back? it would be an #epic prank lol' #and i said it didn't bother me :(( bc i wanted to trust them and bc there had been a situation before where i had accidentally implied that #they might not be a lesbian and it was so upsetting to them and i didn't want to stir that up again #and the pretending to like him turned into actual liking him (probably already was more than pretend from the start even if they couldn't #admit it to themselves) #i really let someone cheat on me w my eyes wide open i feel so stupid and disgusting and ugly and dumb and small #idk how to not see it as my fault #and idk how to forgive myself!!!!!!!!! #crying so fucking much rn idk what to do #🍓

[queenlucythevaliant]

Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.

Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.

Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.

Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.

#i did try to draw that distinction in the original post but I didn't really go into detail #mostly bc i was trying to be concise and just focus on how the church talks to sufferers #so here's the long version #pontifications and creations #only thou art holy #also side note: there was someone yesterday who responded to that post with the suggestion that suffering is generally the sufferer's fault #and it got worse from there #just an absolutely rank response that had me immediately blocking that person and googling if there was a way to remove someone's addition #idk to what degree that person is an active member of this broader christian community we've got going on here #but if you see that post (and you'll know it when you see it) please as a favor to me don't interact with it #there were some lovely responses and additions to that post yesterday too #but that one made me mad #idk. to a certain degree i wanted to vent #they're blocked now though so whatever #anyway. I've sort of been percolating on these various thoughts for a few weeks #since i went to a really fluffy women's talk on suffering #and now i kind of want to give my version #I'm far from the greatest sufferer in the world. i am well aware of that #but as I've been sick I've just done So Much Thinking and reading about theodicy and struggle with God that i feel qualified to opine #unlike the giver of that talk #anyway #tag rant over #...for now #theodicy

[beeduoo]

originnssssss who remembers origins i Loved origins

Lowkey i ate with rhis actually no i didn't i ate wirh rhat ENDER EYE Why is it so rendered Hello

IGNORW RHEIR UGLY UGLY DESIGNS This was before they switched to their iconic Skins past e didn't know......

#loosely based off of this old thing it's under the Cut #origins smp #beeduo #beeduo fanart #idk what other tags to put i cant put C because this isn't C this is O..... but like do people even check those tags idk #actually no im scared i heard theres been like three failed origins revivals i dont want to interfere with their character ecosystem i was #only there for the first one😅 #i rewatched some origins streams a little while ago oh my god theyre SO FUNNY #DUDE DOES ANUONE REMMEBER THAT ONE STREAM I COUDLNT FIND RHIS ONE STREAM #IR EAS LIKE THE ONE WHERE TUBBO WAS SINGING SUGAR BY MAROON FIVE thats all i remmeber ANF ALSO RNE can i call you senpaaiiii bit thay shit h #ad me CRYING in 2021 Please i swear this happened imnot crazy but also they might have been separate streams actuallu i dont rememebr its #been wayyyyyyy too long #BUT IT HAPPENED I PROMISE Sorry i've been gone for a while ive been very busy lots of Things going on went to Six flags then jad a surprise #bday party then i had to buy shoes for prom then Go to prom and also i do figure skating and am out like every day idknt have Time im sorry☹ #had a crepe yesterday it was sooooo goood im like learning to drive too that shit is boring as hell my dad kept gettign 😑 bc i couldn't stop #yawning DRIVING IS SO BORING its not my fault😭😭😭😭 #ok what else ohhhh. y god i locked in SO HARD for this physics essay u guys dont even knowim getting ONE HUNDRED on that trust i just really #wanted to share ok i love you bge #WAIT ACTUALLT SORRU IM LIKE REMMEBERJNG THE ORIGINS STREAMS K WAYCHED #RANBOO WAS SO FUCKING FUNNT IN THOSE STREAMS TOO LIKE I REMEMBER NIKI WANTED TO SEE THEIR BASE and tubbo was like ooh maybe we can put like #water down here for you niki we need a water system and ranwas like Do we though?I WAD WAYCHING THAT .LIKE DAMMMNNNNNN OM LIKE GIGGLING WRIT #ING THIS RIGHT NOW I CAN HEARTHE CLIP HE DID NOTTT WANT HER IJNTHEIR BASE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #I NEED TO FIDN THAT STREAM WHERE IRS LIKE TOMMY AND JACK A D FHEHRE LOKE TALKING ABOUT DUOS AND THEN JACK SAYS THE MOST OUT OF POCKET SHIT I #VE EVER HEARD LKKE I LITERALLU HAD TK PAUSE. H PHONE AND BURST OUR LAUHJIMG MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOORRRRR DO U GUYS R EME ER WTF IM TLAKING AB #OUT IDK HOW TO FIND THESE STREAMS Oh my god u really Had to be there early 2021 that was liye the funniest era of mt life i wlild be #Tearing up from lauhjimg every day I MISS WAYCHING STREAMS LIVE CHAT WAS SO FUNNY I wishe it was archivedI WISH MORE STREAMERS KEPT CHAT ON #SCREEN i defiently understand why most didn't like Wyd when chats annouing ad hell but also Me 3 years later is interested in what the pub #lic had to say.... ok Now bye

[laniemae]

I really get annoyed when people see t2 Muu’s change in character and say it’s unnatural and came out of nowhere. Sparring how it was already heavily implied in t1 especially with crying b that’s not true? As someone with a very similar mindset to her it only feels natural that that’s the progression she went with after being forgiven. I often find myself flipping between wanting to be a pitiful victim hurt by everyone around me and a heartless perpetrator taking down people for being annoying, especially as I’ve had similar situations to her. Muu adapting this mindset after being forgiven is definitely realistic and speaks to me, as her forgiveness allows her to express a part of herself that she hates in way she feels as if she is subtly controlling everyone around her and who forgave her and follow her. So it’s really disheartening seeing people switch to hating her after everything and regarding her as simply cruel and manipulative.

#milgram #Muu kusunoki #I don’t think I’ve ever kinned a character this hard before #Idk how Yamanaka made Muu’s situation and mindset so realistic but it really comforts me seeing a character like this #But it really makes me sad when people dismiss muu with no proper reason and hate on her #After pain & it’s not my fault are probably the most relatable songs I’ve seen and it’s honestly comforting to me #As I have a character to latch onto who has the same mindset of victimising oneself then turning to hurting people #And claiming they did nothing wrong #This may feel weird coming from me but it’s so fascinating how a fictional character made me understand myself much more

[lord-squiggletits]

I think one of the most deeply fascinating things about Tarn is that as a character, as he victimizes others and is victimized, he's the embodiment of how a person can be both a monster and pathetic at the same time, like...... You look at how he ruined Pharma's life, tortured him and blackmailed him into becoming a mad shell of his former life; you look at his fanaticism and the brutal nature of his job as a professional murderer and torture, things like Grindcore. And then you look at his relationship with Megatron, how Megatron is Tarn's entire world, he almost kills himself when Megatron defects, literally WHO TARN IS exists because of Megatron.

Using Pharma and Megatron as two opposite character relationships Tarn has, it's as if he's a participant in some fucked-up cycle of violence. He victimizes, brutalizes, uses Pharma for what he can provide for him but otherwise never even thinks or cares about him. Simultaneously, Megatron also created Tarn as his puppet and slave-dog, except he never actually cared about Tarn and pretty much just groomed him to be a servant purely to make a point/hurt someone else. So Tarn existing as The Monster wasn't even some sort of momentous occasion or act of great significance; he was a means to an end to Megatron, he was nothing, he was just a pawn in a game of pettiness Megatron was playing with Optimus and the whole war. So too did Tarn use and abuse Pharma and then not give a single shit about him or what happened to him afterwards.

And it creates this fascinating portrait that I can only describe almost as, Tarn is a small man and it's only when standing in a bright light that his shadow casts long and terrifying. It's like you look at him and you see that the person who's simultaneously a monster to most is a literal nobody to the person who made him who he is (Megatron). And when you look at Tarn, it makes you contend with these completely opposing emotions of terror/fear versus pity and disgust. There's something in there, I think, about how violence is inherently corrosive both to the victim and also to the perpetrator. There's something in there about how some of the most vicious bullies are also the most sad and hollow inside without any real meaning besides victimizing other people.

Tarn makes me feel really interesting things and it's. He's just interesting.

#squiggposting #sorry it's rambly i'm about to go to bed #it's just that tarn fascinates him. i find him more pitiable than anything #but it's like. a monster that disgusts you and yet you feel sorry for him #like idk in my head i simultaneously see tarn as a victim of brainwashing #but also as just like the most fucked up pitiful guy ever #a lot of things he did were his fault and his actions. but how did he get there? #and it's crazy to me when one person can be simultaneously so fearsome on the outside yet so small on the inside

[authenticcadence18]

I miss the person I was a year ago. two years ago. more social. happier. doing more creatively.

#ya girl is just sad today #yelling into the void bc idk where else to yell #I was so much happier this time last year #even tho I have really good things in my life rn #I just think about like #April 2023 me :( #or! #fall 2020 me #she was living in constant covid anxiety sure #but she was also having the time of her life writing phinbella romance and sharing it with friends #now I haven’t updated that fic in nearly two years #and there’s friends I just don’t see much of anymore #which is no one’s fault that is just how life is #but it just aches #I just feel so sad #or 2021 me #she was posting so much art!!! literally living it up!!!!!!! #now well I mean #my newest pnf piece has gotten close to 500 likes on instagram which has never happened with my pnf art before #so that’s really cool #but I just #ugh #at least I have TTPD #I feel so disconnected from people which is the true reason I post art or fic or whatever #even tho I have lovely friends who I adore!!! they just feel far away #which isn’t anyone’s fault it’s just how life is and my own weird perception of the world #anyway #all this to say I do have a chfil chapter in the works still #maybe finishing that will heal me lmao #cadence rambles

[kenzan-kiwami]

to be completely frank i think most of the people i've seen with major complaints regarding RGG 8's story are forgetting that 99% of what they're saying can be applied across the whole series

#this is not aimed at anyone in particular i've seen these sentiments all over #but things like 'well the story was mid' ok well come back to me after you've replayed yakuza kiwami. no optional majima everywhere allowed #and things like the ending falling flat - sure. but so did 7's #the pacing in the end chapter + chekhov's failboy were like. huh??? #i'm never gonna call RGGS perfect but they're NOT regressing at all. #if anything gaiden and 8 have got me extremely hopeful for whatever comes next #like it's their 20th anniversary this year they've left so many loose ends in 8 they can carry on from they've got forever to keep going #MY only complaint is that they couldn't have retrofitted more of gaiden into IW but i can't exactly fault them for that #idk for all of the dooming i'm seeing i want to say something more positive about the game as a whole #even if this post is still pretty doom & gloom #people just let their expectations get way too high for this one game and i'm not even sure how that happened in most cases #it met all of mine - hell it EXCEEDED them. but i recognise i may be privileged on that front lol <- kashiwagi likers are eating so well rn #text #8 #again i don't mean to attack anyone in particular it's just a general frustration i've been having #and i only hope that if there comes a time when people play over again that they're able to dig further into the meat of the story #and recognise that this game isn't uniquely 'shit' or 'mid'

[marsbotz]

good news for all my haters: im not coming back. not properly. i think social media and being around ppl in general is destroying me so im gonna just focus my energy on other stuff

ill probably still be a little bit active occassionally but for now i think il just stick to posting art etc. im moving to sheezy.art (which is down for maintenance rn but opens for registration again on fridays!) bc the energy there is much nicer for me.. but ill still post on here and insta. im also gonna be working on building my own website again!! so bookmark it and maybe some day itll have cool stuff on it.... :]

#idk ill see how this goes but ive been like lurking here for a couple days and every time without fail it makes me feel shitty #may not be a permanent thing but i have a couple safeguards in place now to stop me from getting sooooo bad. i think #i deleted all the apps off my phone. which has helped a lot esp deleting insta for reels #and i actually made another blog for like if i ever go Cazy again. for like vents and stuff . altho if im not on social media at all it #shldnt be a prblem #i wont share that but u can ask for it if u want. tho unlikely ill post for a while idk #for the record my neocities has like nothing on it rn. its essentially a series of tests from when i started last yr #and got nowhere lollll.. but im hoping to have a lot of fun with it soon #lol this whole thing is a little stupid. and i feel bad but just know its all my own fault. my own issues etc #its happened b4 itll happen time and time again i think. so im just gonna part ways w it #from now on if im gonna overshare it has to be in a lengthy edited well written blog post !!!!!!!!!!! #oke. bye #i do actually have smth to post later on my rnm blog but whatevaaa #oh ill start up my queues again too

[theeblackmedusa]

when will i stop trusting fucking men

#they always trifling #cheated on and dumped and i'm angry about it #anger and sadness do not mix well it feels horrible #am i not good enough? what is the problem? #people always say it's the cheater's fault but it doesn't feel like that when you're the one who was just cheated on #and he filled my head with so much shit about how i was pretty and smart and tslented and funny but apparently none of that fucking matters #i just want to be good for something for once and i never am #idk i'm just gonna shut my phone off for the rest of the day #see y'all later i guess #personal shit #i aplogize for this rant i just have nobody else to talk to about it

[propertyofkylar]

FUCKING AGAIN BITCH I HAVENT EVEN FINISHED THE COMMUNITY SERVICE FROM LAST TIME

#fuck u kylar fuck u fuck u fuck u #also tumblr user hatkuu if you are seeing this this is YOUR FAULT. idk how but it is #fuuuuuuuck and i have been committing SO many crimes during my community service. im fucked #dol

[the-knife-consumer]

Forgot just how upsetting gloomed korok forest is

#idk. just this one sanctuary that was different from the rest in that all of these spirits only link and a few others #can see are offering you help and safety. care uniquely for you. a bed for YOU. YOUR sword. kept safe for 100 years for YOU. #thrown together shops just for YOU because nobody else goes here or even knows it exists. #and then you return and the people who cared so much about you dont even speak to you anymore #they cant speak. they just stand there #idk korok forest made me feel the most like i fucked up somehow #rito village was bad but still livable. if things got any worse then they would have to abandon home until it settled #but no one was in immediate life threatening danger #gerudo was really REALLY bad and people were in danger. just all crammed inside a bunker. no going into town because your #home doesnt belong to you anymore #and then the zora were ... idk felt the least pressing even though it definitely should be bc like. they breathe water. #if the water is gross theyll die. but idk something about how it was executed felt less terrible #maybe they outwardly expressed more hope? idk. same with the gorons didnt feel like there was a pressing threat #but korok forest is fucking AWFUL. god #idk. nobody in hyrule talks about it because they dont know there are people there. nobody else can see them so nobody knows #somethings wrong. with no lead into it finding korok forest the way it is just feels soooo much worse. #idk. on my first playthru i kind thought i fucked up and shouldve gotten there sooner. #it just feels like no matter what youre too late and its your fault

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

jeremiah and reeve in canon meetup WHENNNNN

#+ LONAN & JEREMIAH MEETUP WHENNNNNNN #sorry to sideblog ppl who are now seeing these thoughts TWICE LMAO #but THE WAYYY JEREMIAH AND REEVE WOULD LOVEEEE EACH OTHERRRR #HARRISONNNN YOU FUCK !!! lmao my fault sorry BUT ALSO #lonan would admire and enjoy jeremiah's company so much like he would like that man #he would be like harrison wtf why did you choose me lmaooo #how can I canonically get jeremiah to meet both lonan and reeve #he could realistically meet reeve if he's ever idk... in fucking new york (guess Who Else is there) #waitttt jeremiah post breakup novella in new york #why am I literally just coming up with ideas for the novellas I've already written #body back = me and my ex are living in the same city we broke up in #we cannot do this again. OR CAN WE!!!!!!!! #I love novellas I could write these for the rest of my life #TAG ESSAY OVER OKKKK #wait editing to add it is actually 20 million times more plausible that jeremiah and lonan meet considering #THEY BOTH LIVE IN DOWNTOWN LAS VEGAS

[guinevereslancelot]

most fucked up thing at my new job is there's only zero calorie sweeteners at the coffee station in the break room. three different kinds of zero calorie sweetener but no regular sugar because the assumption is that literally everyone is on a diet?

#is this because its a job dominated by women in particular??? idk #that's so weird #like sorry i can taste the difference and i prefer naturally occurring sugar from nature how is that not even an option #drinking nasty bitter af coffee bc i am So Sleepy but i refuse to use artificial sweeteners #they Do taste different and they're not even good for you im not doing that lol #also they got mad at me for telling one of the parents that we took one of the kids temperature and it was 99 and he threw up a little #when his dad came to get him yesterday and all of the other teachers were nowhere to be found #they were like tou shouldnhave had colleen do that #ma'am colleen went home before that and so did you #i should have left already too but waited bc the ratio on the playground was bad #anyway i did NOT say he had a fever i said it was 99 and to talk to the teacher inside #but the dad didnt yalk to her clearly then went home and scared the mom that he had a fever and threw up so she texted my boss freaking out #i literally just said he threw up a little and we took his temperature and it was 99 and to talk to the other teacher #which was all true and there was no one else there to tell him #anyway #apparently the person who had my job before me was a wacko who scared the parents with fake medical information or something #but that is not my fault and nobody told me that or not to tell the parents anything medical until this morning #ugh #also my supervisor is kind of a weirdo #she wanted to show everyone ~cute~ pictures of animals she has killed while hunting??? #and i said i didnt want to see #and she was like ~oh it's not dead yet in the picture~ #like okay but its dead now??? #she traps them first so its a cute little fox in a trap about to be killed 😭 #like wtfff #i know trappong predators is a reality but why take pictures like ohhh so cute then kill it #THEN show everyone the cute pictures like yeah isnt he adorable i killed him btw <3 #huh?????? #she has a bobcat tail on her keychain too she was giving it to the teachers and kids to pet like ohhh its so soft <3

[punctuation-completionist]

you don’t have to answer this ask but wow how are you supposed to be the bad guy fucking apologizing for reacting badly to being told to kill yourself?? i hate this website

well okay hold up i never said i was the bad guy. i said there were misunderstandings on both sides and that i was sorry for an issue in one part of how i handled it. just one.

#ask tag #not counting #like um. i do understand that maybe this person's sense of humor is way different then mine okay #but like. they said that they didn't mean it legitimately and once they saw it was haarmful they apologized #for me to say ''i am glad i understand your side of the story and you understand mine'' i am not saying i'm the bad guy #there's really no ''bad guy'' in this situation as i see it because the world is more nuanced then that y'know #like. sometimes people have a sense of humor that you can't pick up on. it doesn't mean you shouldn't state your point of view #and say ''that wasn't how i want people to talk to me and i also won't let you do that'' #also the only part i really ''apologized'' for was that i used a term for them that was uncomfortable #i assume for gender reasons. and i understand where that comes from. if someone called me ''girl'' while arguing i wouldn't like it #whenever i said sorry after that i did my best to try and word it in a way like ''i am sorry this happened but it's not my fault'' #like how when. idk. someone's grandma dies and you say ''sorry for your loss'' you're not saying that you killed their grandma #you're just saying that you feel bad that the thing happened but not that it's your fault #and yes. i do agree that the situation may have been fixed if they just said it was a joke but hindsight is 20/20 right? #anyways. that's my take on the situation. #and like. idk. if they apologized and told me how they saw it. i'm gonna believe them because i have had WAY more malicious people here #like idk. there have been anons who have said wayy worse and there's no discernable reason for why they would #like that one anon who told me that i should get my arms chopped off or something. idk. i deleted it before i could commit it to memory #and that was on purpose #but like. my point is. there's worse people. and if i focus all of my energy about being mad over a person who made one joke in bad taste #idk just seems like a waste of time #at least that's my perspective on the situation. never said i was the bad guy. just sorry it happened #also sorry it happened so late at night for me! i need an ibuprofen and a bagel now

[jakejeffreyperalta]

girls will literally be happy until their brain randomly convinces them that all their friends hate them because someone's text was a little TOO serious sounding which means they find you ugly and stupid and hate you with a burning passion

#how i love being a person who thinks all the time and has nothing to think except for thoughts #also there is literal crack in gracie abrams's voice wtf #i know you're a fault line. but i'll break too. #I SEE YOU EVERY NIGHT IN MY SLEEP ANTICIPATING EVERY BAD DREAM LIKE FALLING WITH A KNIFE YOU CUT DEEP YOU CUT DEEEEP #anyway i literally hate myself a lot right now and i think im so ugly and stupid and nobody really likes me #and my problems are generally smaller than other peoples' #like idk #its invalidating when you're complaining about something and someone's like 'well at least you dont...' or if im complaining about school #and someone's like at least you dont have ____ subject #like. ok. remind me never to say anything to you ever #its also so invalidating when you're trying to explain to someone how you are and they're like 'but you're literally happy' #i just end up feeling so stupid and idiotic #maybe because i am but. you know. like how do you even reply to someone saying that to you

[woadisme]

st5 theory: el finds vecna in will’s mind!

This is a theory for how El will enter Will’s mind to find Vecna at the beginning of st5, and how that might play out with Will’s powers getting revealed. I’m not sure if it will make total sense but hopefully enough sense for other people to weigh in!

Recently I’ve seen some videos (from @_stfaves on tiktok go check it out fr!!) about how they have already filmed part of s5 in which Will gets cursed. The highlights from those videos is that Noah was filming in his finale outfit at Rink-O-Mania, Lonnie’s actor was at s4 table reads, and ofc the infamous picture Noah posted wearing a harness with his finale outfit. This points to him getting cursed and reliving the events at Rink-O-Mania and the abuse from his father, before the time jump. In fact, it would have to occur on the same day that the Cali gang returns to Hawkins, because of his attire.

However, when we left off in s4, Vecna’s base of operations was pretty badly destroyed, he was badly burned, and Will said that he was “hurting.” Basically, Vecna is wounded and the place from which he attacks is unusable. Plus, he wouldn’t have any apparent reason to curse Will like that, since the purpose of cursing the other victims was to open gates. Or, at least, it doesn’t seem as though he will strike again just 2 days later, while he is wounded.

Now that our team knows that Vecna is still around but he is badly hurt, I think that they will want to strike back as soon as possible, to prevent Vecna from rebounding at all. That is when Will or El proposes that she looks for the piece of the Mindflayer/Vecna that is in Will. We have already seen El do this with Billy in s3. (Bonus if we get protective Mike again, this time not wanting to put Will in danger, plus worried that Vecna will be able to find them like Billy did.)

So I imagine that El’s search in Will’s mind plays out very similarly to what we saw with Billy. I was rewatching that episode recently, and it really reminded me of what we know of Vecna’s mind from s4. I couldn’t find screenshots of when he was skimming through various people’s trauma before Patrick gets a nosebleed, so just look at the scene with Max compared Billy’s mind.

It’s the red and the darkness and the smoke and the lightning… Plus, now we know the reason that El had to encounter these moments of trauma for Billy. That is where Vecna thrives, how he targets his victims. Max says herself that he uses people’s memories against them, but only their darkest ones. She says, “It’s like he only sees the darkness in us.” So, as El goes to find him in Will, it makes sense for her to witness some of his past trauma, likely from his dad.

However, this does not explain Will’s finale outfit at Rink-O-Mania. This is where my theory might get a little bit sloppy but hear me out. Will gets Vecna’d from within his own mind. This will take a lot of exposition to explain.

This relies on the assumption that Will has had powers from the beginning. I think they must have occurred spontaneously, or however 001’s happened. That is, his powers didn’t come from 001 like El’s did. He is special, but his powers (if he has them) are obviously dormant. There were some weird things going on in s1 during his time in the Upside Down, but it’s not clear what his powers actually are. I think that Vecna knows, or has suspicions, so he formed an incredibly strong psychic connection with Will when he took him and kept him in the Upside Down. I think his goal with the Mindflayer was to control Will without killing him. Vecna says that all of his victims are still in his mind, but he wanted El’s power externally. He wanted her to join him, so he probably needs her strength. If he could get that from Will without having to convince him, by simply taking over his mind, that would be ideal. And, although the Mindflayer was exorcized at the end of s2, Will still shares a psychic connection with Vecna.

Thus, the manifestation of Vecna in his mind, I assume, will be a bit different. It doesn’t have a hold on Will’s behavior, but I think it could be actively suppressing his powers. When El finds it, she will see the red smoke, the traumatic memories, but the eye of the storm will not be a location, like Brimborn Steelworks in Billy’s mind. I’m not sure what it would be exactly, but I think it is a perfect opportunity to draw another parallel with this scene!

The key of this part is that El’s interaction with the Demogorgon was the catalyst for the gate opening. So I think that El interacting with whatever exists inside Will will be a catalyst for Will having his Vecna moment. Suddenly he is thrust into his own worst memories, rises from the ground like Max did, is literally suffocated by his own trauma until something breaks. Not his bones, but whatever is suppressing his powers. Remember that focusing on a memory that makes someone angry and sad is what strengthened the power and control of 001 and El? I think that Will’s powers are tangled up in all that mess and El disturbing that releases Will’s powers. Just like her disturbing the Demogorgon created a path between the Upside Down and Hawkins.

#it's all about the psychic connections #then maybe a time skip for el to help will learn how to use his powers? #maybe this weakens vecna even more so that is why they have time? #idk how they are going to explain 3ish years of nothing happening in the apocalypse but I'm excited #side note what if el finds out that will loves mike while she's in his mind #bro oh my fucking god #byler #she sees the 'it's not my fault you don't like girls' scene?? #oh no #stranger things #will byers #will Byers has powers #eleven #vecna stranger things #st5 #stranger things theory