#i've been feeling a bit burnt out lately so this was kind of fun

[commanderfloppy]

I always get WAYY too entertained by those dumb videos on like instagram where people will make makeup palettes based on characters or objects by color picking, so I thought I'd try doing it myself.

Here's a Link one I made, might make more later, making fake makeup palettes is very fun and therapeutic.

Here's some templates I made for this, hearts, circles and diamonds

#Link The Twink #my art #?? #I don't think this counts as much as my art #since It is mostly just me making circles and coloring a little #i've been feeling a bit burnt out lately so this was kind of fun #If I Was good at names I think I'd give each of the colors on this palette a name #if anyone does use these templates please tag me I love seeing these #also if this many colors overwhelming you can cut off the side and just do the 9 with 4 picked colors in each corner #I just added some more for additional colors #so like for me on the side I did his hair highlight and glow for a fun sparkle palette

[fatuismooches]

Hii Smooches

I've been feeling burnt out a lot lately and thought about comfort from some of harbingers

Like, Dottore's segments all stop their work to comfort you. They bring you food, water and things that they think can make you happier. Original, not knowing about how you're feeling, gets annoyed, but quickly warms up after learning the reason. Also, if your bad mood was caused by someone.. Let's just say you won't be seeing them again

Pantalone's love language is obviously gift giving, so that's what he'd do. But don't think he'll try to just buy your happiness. Pantalone let's you lay on his knees and will listen to whatever you're dealing with right now and you'll chat, while he gently strokes your hair. He has a very calming voice, you might even fall asleep while listening to it. Or he'll order his servants to run a hot bath (I completely support anon who said Pantalone enjoys non-sexual nudity)

Sandrone may look like she doesn't care about anything, aside from her work, but she does. I think she's not very good with emotions or comfort, but Sandrone tries her best to help you and her automatons will gladly help her do that

Ah, Arlecchino, Arlecchino... Her first reaction to you feeling down would asking who was the reason (and if it was indeed a person, then, well, it's pretty much the same as Dottore's). I think she's also not the best at comfort, but also tries her best. Arlie might take you to Heart of Hearth, thinking playing with kids there will help ease your worries or take you to theatre

Ajax cooks your favorite dishes and entertains you with water animals. He seems very touchy-feely, so he won't let you go from his grasp until you feel better

My thoughts are messy and my brain refuses to think properly. No thoughts, only comfort from villains who are soft for one (1) person

-👾

Hi 👾 anon! I'm so sorry you're feeling burnt out, it's really a horrible feeling :( Please make sure to take time to do something fun and comforting and rest too! I hope you feel better soon. And thank you for this comfort... it made me feel better too.

The clones would be telepathically communicating with each other, telling each other what to bring and what to do for you 😭 Do they normally get annoyed by the loud thoughts of others? Yes. But do they care right now? No, because your comfort is their top priority right now. Rarely do the segments see you like this, and they have literally never comforted someone before so... they will be running around themselves trying to figure out what is the best way to comfort you because they have no clue. It's kind of funny because they're dropping stuff in front of you with no explanation in hopes that you'll feel better... Primettore would be annoyed like you said at first, and then he'd ask you why you didn't come to him when you were feeling this way. He would let you sit in his lap as he stroked your hair, allowing you to rant about your problems if you felt comfortable. And yea, if it so happens to be someone... looks like Dottore's next test subject has been found!

Ah Pantalone... he knows gifts and money can make one happy, but you deserve far more than that. You deserve all of him, and all of him he shall give to you, if that makes you happy. Literally everything about him is so comforting... his scent, warmth, touch, voice... you will feel even a bit better by the end of it because of the sheer amount of attention he gives you. Just let him into your worries, he will take his beloved's troubles very seriously. If you don't feel up to taking care of yourself, he will make sure you're well pampered, whether that's taking a bath with you, helping you dress, brushing your hair, and etc.(Pantalone non-sexual nudity REALLLLLL, he's kissing all over your body fr)

Sandrone... this will be a hurdle for her, one she's slowly overcoming though because she really does love you. She's mostly around her robots and Automatons, and they don't really have feelings or emotions... and she herself neglects her emotions so this is new territory for her. She doesn't exactly know how one goes about comforting another, but she bases it on what you do for her. How you try to pull her away from her work when she's clearly tired, how you bring her water and snacks, how you hold her and let her rant about how incompetent her co-workers are... naturally, she doesn't do this as good as you, but she's trying. And her Automatons would definitely carry you two as she takes you for a breath of fresh air.

As you said, Arlie isn't adept with comforting either, her way of helping is more getting to the root of the problem and then solving it for you. Then you won't be as stressed. And she will try her best to help you, and if it's a person... the Knave is the right person! She's not good with words, she's very to the point and won't sugarcoat things, so that's not her expertise... Arlecchino's more action-oriented and will do things for you instead, despite her very busy schedule. (Baby Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet moment) She'll take you to the theater with the best seats and let you hold her hand the whole time :(

If you want physical affection for comfort, Childe's your guy. He will not let you go normally, but when you're like this it just amplifies much more (as long as you're comfortable) Ajax will always have a hand on you - shoulder, chest, thigh, your own hand, etc, as a means of comforting you. That he's here for you, and you're not alone. While he's cooking your comfort foods he will definitely talk the whole time if you don't feel up to it right now... the water fishies get me every time 😭 he's so flipping cute he won't stop until he gets you to smile

#smooches talks #👾 anon #dottore love notes <3 #pantalone love notes <3 #arlecchino love notes <3 #sandrone love notes <3 #childe love notes <3 #ur thoughts and my thoughts are same fr villains being soft for that *one* person >>> best comfort #something abt them being cold and uncaring but when it comes to you they're trying their best...

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Rejected Requests Pt. 16

Hello everyone! I am unfortunately back with another set of Rejected Requests (Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3, Pt 4, Pt 5, Pt 6 , Pt 7 , Pt 8 , Pt 9 , Pt 10, Pt 11, Pt 12, Pt 13, Pt 14, Pt 15)

I understand this is very disappointing for many of you. I promise it has nothing to do with you, and mostly it’s just because my brain has decided it doesn’t want to cooperate.

I will post the rejected fics below the cut. I want to give you the opportunity to ask another Writer (check the list of Writers seeking requests here!) For some of you, I've already heard back from someone who agreed to take over your request!

Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of experience with schizophrenia, so I wouldn't feel comfortable writing this fic. I wish you luck, though, and I hope you can find someone who can write it for you.

As much as I love Spencer teasing a blushy Reader, I don't have any particular ideas for this.

I'm the furthest thing from a pro athlete, so I'm afraid I wouldn't have much of a reference point for writing something like this!

I've never been great at writing shy Readers, and it's only gotten harder as I've gotten older 😅

I haven't been able to motivate to write a non-CM fic lately, so I'll have to pass for now! I still love me some Chip Taylor, though. I get it.

Absolutely adorable visual. I am, however, currently wedding planning myself (surprise!) and the idea of having to deal with that stuff in my escapist fantasies is a bit too much for me right now!

Ah, this is so fun, but it doesn't seem like something I could write very much about. I wish I could watch it as a video, though!

With all my medical trauma, which is currently a problem in my daily life, I'm not sure I can struggle through a request. I already have a couple requests I'm still considering that are similar, so keep an eye out!

This is such a lovely idea. I haven’t been feeling angst lately, but I know a ton of people always do. I’d love to see this classic one done!

I’ve thought about this idea a lot since I got this request. I might eventually write it, but I don’t have any inspiration to write it down right now. It's also super general, so I could see multiple great pieces coming from it!

This is such a cute request but I don’t have any concrete ideas for it. I hope someone has the inspiration to do it justice!

I’m afraid to get burnt out on Hotch’s daughter fics (only a few people know this, but… I do have a potential series for a Hotchner!Reader…). This is a wonderful idea, though. Definitely funny.

Ah, this would definitely spiral into a massive series for me, lmao. I unfortunately just don’t have that in me right now… but someone else should write it so I can read it 🤭

NSFW REQUESTS, MINORS DNI

I'm not too big on voyeuristic/getting caught situations, so I'll leave these wonderful ideas to someone else!

This is such a fun, niche little kink request, but I'm just not inspired enough to write something like this lately. I hope someone can do it for you, though!

This is simply not one of my interests. I think it's too similar to those "getting caught" kind of situations for me. I know it's pretty popular, though, particularly for submissive men!

I always struggle with as-smart-as-Spencer Readers. I wish you luck, though!

Ah, hybristophilia... I think I'm too far away from Protege to be able to go back to those kinds of kinks. I haven't been in a Dead Dove mood for a long time. Godspeed, though, friend. I feel you.

I got so many very specific female oral receiving requests in a row 😅 I burned myself out on the blurbs. This would have to be a much longer piece, which I'm just not sure I'm up for. Who doesn't love a flirty Reader, though?

I’m personally not a big fan of as-smart-as-Spencer Readers. I’m also not the biggest fan of lawyer Readers because I do enough of it at my day job 😭 it sounds like a lovely idea, though! And thank you for all the kind words ❤️

Songfics are super hard for me, unfortunately 😓 Especially if I don’t know the songs, which I don’t know either of these.

Sorry, friend! My request guidelines say I don’t accept requests involving cheating. I hope you can find someone who can write it for you 🫶

Thank you everyone! Again, I'm so sorry I had to reject these requests. I hope you can find someone else to write them for you!

#answer #answered #rejected requests #anon request #spencer reid requests #Spencer Reid prompts #cm writing challenge

[writingmysanity]

One year back on Tumblr

So, I am a little late on this since my one year mark was on the 21st. I originally wanted to do something fun for my one year anniversary but I realized that I just am burnt out at the moment. I am sure that you've noticed the lack of content- and I am sorry. I am hoping soon.

Instead, I've decided to make a post for some of the highlights since I've come back to tumblr. I've met so many wonderful people that I know that I wouldn't have had the honor to meet otherwise. I just want to list some of my mutuals and also artists and writers I've had the opportunity to find and interact with that i think you should all check out their content if you haven't already.

I am going to separate this by fandom lol because I love you all but I tend to lose myself in trying to remember everyone sometimes.

The Witcher first because it is what gave me the inspiration to come back and share my random bits of writing with you all.

@seidenbros steffi, beloved, you are truly the sweetest and kindest person ever. I have been blessed with your presence. you have been one of my biggest sources of encouragement and defiantly a huge enabler. you have listened to countless rants and ideas of story ideas that didn't always take off but that didn't stop us from ranting about them and fleshing them out to the point where they may as well have appeared, fully written and perfectly edited.

@cosmos-coma hello, sweetheart <3 one- happy belated birthday once more. I am so angry with myself for having gotten it wrong. Thank you for the light youve brought to my life. our letters and just being able to have someone to talk about the random craziness in life has been the absolute craziness of this world and our lives has been amazing. thank you for everything youve done, your unending adoration for my mini me who is the epitome of chaos but makes for some hilarious stories. I love our friendship more than words could ever properly express.

@queenxxxsupreme Kacey, you're probably my biggest enabler. you are an amazing writer, and an even better friend- even if you don't feel like you are sometimes. you've helped me through more than you realize in the last year that we've known each other. I can't wait to enact our plans to run away to another state and be cryptids in the woods and sell fancy cheese to rich people by the sea shore.

@daughterofautumn Goose, I haven't known you quite as long as the others but you have definitely sewn yourself perfectly into my life. your chaos and crazy energy fuels me daily. you and your obsessions (inadvertently dragging me into said obsessions) make my entire day. i love your energy. not to mention the absolute chaos that is your life. please sleep more darling, and drink plenty of water. I worry.

Arcane next!

this fandom was one that I defiantly stalked in silence for at least a month before I finally gave into the brain rot specifically for a wonderful person who amazes me with the depths of the love and kindness Shes shown to everyone who has the absolute pleasure to engage with her.

@grumpyoutlaw Grumpy, my beloved- my muse. you have been nothing but an absolute delight, a light, the very heart of this fandom. your art was what brought me into your orbit but your kindness has kept me around. writing that first piece for you was possibly the most spur of the moment but also the greatest domino that has affected the sheer amount of community i have been honored to encounter. thank you for everything. I adore you so much!

@thedreamlessnights Jams. I don't even know where to start. thank you for being so wonderful to me. your vampire fic was pinnacle for dragging me into this fandom well before i even fully committed to the fandom itself. and you followed me?? before I posted anything?? it always baffled me. you claim it was vibes lol and ill take it. you're an amazing writer and friend and I cant believe i get to call such an amazing, open, supportive person my friend. the space you've opened for everyone who wishes to let them have space to be themselves has been a blessing on my day-to-day life.

@sherwood-forests darling, I know we haven't spoken much but you are defiantly responsible for my Silco brain rot. I took a chance on your dragon fic and I cant ever recommend it enough. not to mention how kind you are?? you are the real treasure! thank you for encouraging me and being a light for everyone in the fandom.

@cedarcia DARLING. where to start? i can't believe you follow me and i cant believe I've been given the chance to be your friend. your talent is almost as impressive as your heart. you're always the first to hop on the train to try and help someone the best you can. I cant wait to visit and dress up like pirates to go sailing.

@thehistoriangirl first and foremost, your rants your T A G S... darling they give me life. getting to freaking out over our blorbos and stories we are working on (with a sprinkle of life outside fandom) has been amazing. bouncing ideas with you has never been boring in any capacity and the only thing i know to expect when i see that I've gotten a message from you is sheer just E N E R G Y and i LIVE for it. it is unmatched. not to mention you are 100% an enabler. ahaha

@mariana-souza getting to know you, in the short time that I've gotten to, has been amazing. getting to see how much work you put into your work- both art and writing- has been motivating to say the least. i love that we are able to just scream about things together- how you always seem to know what questions to ask when were talking about each others WIPs. your art is what brought you to my attention, and I am so glad I made the decision to interact with you further.

Shadow and Bone/Six of crows next!!

somehow, i feel like this fandom is simultaneously the smallest of the fandoms i find myself somewhat active in, but also the most tight knit.

@maliciousbrekker Cal. I don't know where to start- you are a wonderfully talented person and so very kind to everyone (also, I am sorry about dragging you into arcane in the middle of your SOC love <3) you are so relatable and i cant help but laugh at something you've posted at least once a day because S A M E. i know we aren't super close but just knowing i have such a wonderful mutual like you, who has on more than one occasion reached out just to check on me, i appreciate you more than you know and seeing your name pop up in my notifications always brings me joy.

@ell0ra-br3kk3r @sophierequests-trashblog I adore you both, I am sorry that we don't talk more often, you are both so pure and i love the interactions that we've had, even if they've been minimal. your amazing writers that i cant ever get enough of. thank you for being so welcoming into the fandom even if I've only ever written one piece to it in total lol. <3

there are several other moots that i just haven't gotten to engage with much at all, but i see you! in my notifications every day, and it makes my day every time. @insult-2-injury @astudyincontrasts @uniquedeerwitch

and of course- I can never forget my friend @rainbowpitofdoom you have been around for so long. we have seen each other grow and change and learn. you are honestly one of the best friends I've ever had and just getting to know you as a person has made me a better person and i need you to know this. I love you lots, Chesh and i don't know where id be without you.

every single one of these lovelies are wonderfully talented and just amazing people. they are writers and artists and they are a delight to know and get to engage with- i promise. if you ever need something new, or just to read something again, please! give them some love. they deserve every bit of it.

I love you all, and if you ever ever need anything please do not hesitate to reach out. even if its just needing to talk to someone. i truly thank every lucky star out there that ive been lucky enough to meet you all.

#ru speaks #i love you all so much #i am so appreciative of you all #for your love and support since ive come back

[broken-clover]

12- Belonging

Tbh I just like having an excuse to toss in as many fandoms as I want now.

Despite the fact that I've written several things for Frontier now, and despite the fact that everyone has a relatively straightforward character, I still don't feel like I have a very good grasp of how to write the characters. It also doesn't help that this time I intentionally tried to do something not in canon, so I don't have much to base it off of. I know Koichi's little personal arc revolves around his brother, and he shows up pretty late into the plot, but I wish he had gotten to interact with the other characters a bit more, I think there was a lot of potential for fun dynamics. Just in general being a sixth ranger has gotta suck a little, you show up when everyone's good buddies and had a lot of their growth already happen before you were there. You didn't get to do all the dramatic friendship bonding

-

The most alienating thing wasn’t that anyone shunned him, it was how tightly-knit they were on their own.

It made sense. The five of them had been traveling as a group for…days, weeks, months? When he asked, none of them seemed quite sure of the answer. It had been long enough to grow close, though, that much was obvious. By the time he had arrived, they were already deeply familiar with one another. How could that not make him feel like a bit of an outsider?

Watching the nightly routine the first few times had been…interesting. Was ‘puzzling’ a better word, maybe ‘unsettling?’ That didn’t feel right either. It had been so jarringly mechanical. Seemingly out of nowhere, everyone had stopped in the middle of the path they’d been going down for the last several hours. No words, no gestures, nothing to indicate it was happening. Unwittingly, he’d continued walking for a dozen or so steps before someone decided to cue him in.

“Uh, Koichi, where are you going, dude?”

He turned slowly, looking at them oddly. They did the same back to him. He pointed off into the distance behind. “Are we…not still going…?”

It was approaching dusk, so it wasn’t a monumental shock, but, again, nobody had mentioned anything at all.

“Aren’t you tired, too?” Koji asked.

“W-well, I guess, I’m just a little confused. You all stopped out of nowhere, so I wasn’t sure what to think.”

“Tommy’s tired.” Zoe shrugged. “He starts walking like that when he’s all burnt out.”

“Yeah, and Takky over here gets that squinty look in his eye when it’s too dark to see far. Usually a good sign that it’s time to crash for the night,” said JP.

He stared at them in silence. None of that had been obvious to him at all. Was that normal for them?

Camp was set up with a similar level of efficiency. Koichi fumbled behind them, trying to figure out how to make himself useful. Much like the walking, there seemed to be some kind of silent system that he wasn’t privy to. How they automatically split into groups, how they went off in their own separate directions without so much as a word. Every time he spoke up to ask a question, he couldn’t escape the feeling that he was performing some kind of social taboo. Were it not for his fear of coming off cold, he would have merely sat in the corner and not interrupted.

Dinner, at least, was a little more lively. Even if he didn’t talk much, he could bury himself in others’ chatter. They were a lively bunch, that was for sure.

“Heh! Y’know, at least this time, the plant wasn’t the thing trying to kill us!” Said Zoe, ruminating on their last misadventure with the beanstalk. “I mean, it’s still a bummer we couldn’t save it after all, but at least it wasn’t another Woodmon incident.”

A ripple of semi-amused laughter passed through the group…except for their most recent member. He tilted his head. “...Woodmon?”

“Oh, uh-” Takuya looked at him sheepishly. “It’s- it was this thing, a while back, you weren’t there-”

“Takuya and me weren’t there, either! But they told us all about it when we got back!” Added Tommy.

“Oh.”

“Well, hey, if we’re talking about killer trees, I could go all night about Cherrymon!” JP said with a grin.

The conversation picked up steam again without much effort. Koichi stayed quiet. While they reflected on old incidents, he continued to be terribly confused. Even for the times that sounded awful and unpleasant, they still laughed. Was it stupid for him to think about it so much?

He volunteered to watch the fire first. He’d made a habit of it. Falling asleep was something he had found difficult to do for a while. The urge to do so just didn’t come. Half the time, someone had to insist he get some sleep before he even tried to lie down. It was easier to make himself useful and keep an eye on things while everyone else slept.

Zoe had been insistent on joining him. Said something about it being bad for him to sit all by himself. The thought crossed his mind that she may have been suspicious of leaving him solely responsible for everyone’s safety. Of course they wouldn’t trust him with something like that, they’d only known him for a fraction of time that they’d known each other.

He prodded at the fire with a long stick, trying to catch a cluster of dry, dead leaves with the kindling they currently had. Zoe had busied herself with reinforcing the little barrier of rocks that surrounded it so it couldn’t escape.

She glanced up from her work. “You okay?”

“Don’t worry, I’m not tired yet.”

“Not what I meant.” The corners of her mouth turned down. “You just seem a little bummed out, anything I can do to help?”

The fact that she was automatically offering surprised him. Still, “No, I’m fine. Thanks, though.”

Zoe nodded, going back to her work. Koichi wanted to just leave it at that, but he found himself curious. “What makes you ask?”

“You don’t talk much.” She replied. “You don’t have to if you don’t wanna, it just seems like you don’t know what to say a lot of the time.”

He didn’t have an answer. Nothing useful, at least. “I guess I just don’t have anything to add.”

“Well, you can talk about stuff you like, if you want!”

“Thanks, but…” a puff of cinders floated from the fire’s top. “I feel like I don’t belong here. I’m glad to be able to meet my brother, but I don’t think I fit in with the rest of you. All your stories, all the things you’ve already done. I have none of that. I can’t share that with you.”

To his surprise, Zoe didn’t look put off. She just smiled with patience. “You don’t need to. Nobody expects you to, we’ve only known each other for so long!”

“You’re not…bothered by that?”

“Nope!” The girl scooted closer, propping her arms against the dirt. “Seriously, do you have any idea how long it took me to get used to these dorks? We really weren’t friends at first, we were all just trying to survive. The only reason we get along so well now is because we’ve already worked out all the stupid little stuff.”

“...Really?”

“We argued over the dumbest things, Koichi.” Zoe nodded sagely. “It’s a good thing you weren’t there for that. It was embarrassing.”

Something about her tone of voice made him chuckle. “I’ll take your word for it.”

“Seriously! We were so dumb about it!”

Maybe she had a point. He’d heard plenty about how much Takuya and Koji had bickered with each other before, and he thought they were stubborn enough as they were now. The others must have had some stunning patience.

“Besides, I’m learning more about you, too! I’ll get there, just like I got with the boys.”

“Hmm. What have you already figured out?”

“Well, you stay up ridiculously late, for one. I gotta stay up and make sure you don’t fall asleep! And if you do fall asleep, someone’s gotta make sure you don’t roll over onto any rocks.”

An oddly sweet sentiment. He could appreciate that. “Anything else?”

“You get all squirmy when Koji goes off somewhere and doesn’t bring you. It seems like warm weather doesn’t bother you much, I don’t know how wearing long sleeves in this heat doesn’t make you sweat, it drives me nuts! Uhh, and you tie your shoes really tight so the laces don’t drag like Takuya’s do. And this isn’t something you do, but whenever he’s out of earshot, JP keeps calling you ‘Koko.’”

“I’ll…have to ask him about that one.”

“I swear I’m not making it up. He likes his nicknames. He calls me ‘Zee’ a lot. Takuya’s ‘Takky,’ and I guess Tommy is already a nickname, so it was only a matter of time before you got one, too.”

“What does he call Koji?”

She paused in thought. “Y’know, I don’t know! I think those two just insult each other.”

He couldn’t say for sure, but Koichi had a feeling that if he hadn’t muffled his laughter, he would have woken up the whole camp.

#frog writes #comfortober #digimon #digimon frontier

[kenziejustquietly]

Lent & Asceticism Journey: Journalling

Tuesday, 20 February

I slept in ever so slightly today, knowing I had nothing to worry about and would be working late. I was in a sunny mood when I got up, had coffee, and started on my tasks for the day.

I listened to a video essay on Stoic philosophers and how they are misinterpreted by men a lot of the time. It was good but a little tacky in its production. I prayed a little, no effect. I took a refreshing shower and put on some makeup, as I was going in to the office.

Connor dropped me off and we went the long way. Rachel was going to come and say hi but she couldn't because Charlie overslept. I had laksa soup and burnt toast for lunch, I ate while I worked.

I worked really well today. I actually did some overtime just because I was enjoying setting up hubspot so much. The board approved the cost for me to go in and reactivate our account. I feel competent and happy that I'm included in the board meetings sometimes. After it concluded, I stepped out into the sunlight and walked while listening to music. I felt joy.

Grace was fun today. Sometimes I think she thinks I am a bit stupid though. Probably because I'm not as good at the job as she is and it might get annoying. But her dog Lou was in all day too which was extra lovely. He's such a nice dog. He barked at Wade who got a massive fright and it was very funny.

Dinner was literally beans and rice - the most ascetic meal so far. It was fine. I saw it as purely functional. I'm starting to count calories though, so I better watch myself because this was never, ever supposed to be about my body. I don't know why I started again.

I read more of Sorrow and Bliss. She's not the kind of unlikable bitch I enjoy reading, but I'll keep going for a bit. It's been compared to Fleabag and I think I get why. It's acerbic.

I purchased a new hair dryer since my one sucks, and I'm going to repurpose it for acrylic pouring, which will be awesome fun. I'm feeling a bit more put together today. I've taken a lorazepam and Haku and Connor are with me in our bed. It's warm and I feel happy.

#journal

[thewritersafterglow]

how to actually meet your writing goals: the guide we all need

Intro

hey everyone! today's post is inspired by all the super fun struggles i've been having during nanowrimo. i still don't know if i'll win or not... i guess we'll see. anyway, hopefully these tips can help you actually meet your goals for progressing in your writing <3

Be realistic

this might be a bit hypocritical for me to say, considering that i am attempting to write a f*cking novel during exam season, but it is very important thing to keep in mind.

when you're sitting down to plan your goals, think realistically about the week/month/year ahead of you. what are your commitments? what other things will you have to put time into? are there any other activities that you will have to prioritize?

based on all of these things, you need to choose a word count goal that makes sense and is something you can actually achieve in that time frame. there's a difference between challenging yourself a healthy amount and setting goals that you'll never be able to achieve.

Plan, plan, plan

yeah yeah, i'm aware that this is my advice for everything writing related but, what can i say? it's the key to staying on top of writing. you have to figure out how you're going to divide up the word count so that you hit the goal, while still staying realistic and not pushing yourself too hard.

there are loads of websites you can use for this, such as nanowrimo.com and pacemaker.press - or, you can just do the math yourself if you really want.

this step also involves deciding which days you're going to write more and less - for example, i always set more words to be written on Fridays and Saturdays, since i can stay up late those nights without worrying about school.

Staying motivated

i know, i know. "we all want to stay motivated, Rayne, but it's not that easy." i'm aware of that, don't worry lmao.

i have a whole post on how to stay motivated, but here's the general gist. the main way to keep yourself motivated is to have an internal motivating factor. this means something that is not at all influenced by external factors. for example, an internal desire to become a published author.

however, it's useful to have external factors that can help amp up your willpower to write on days where you might be a bit more tired. for example, watching writing videos/content of authors, pinterest boards, playlists, aesthetics and more!

How to handle an "off day"

this is what can really throw you off from writing. you have one day where you feel like you can't write anything... and then another... and then another. suddenly, you're twenty thousand words behind where you should be and-

but that doesn't have to be the case! having off days is okay, and honestly? it's kind of necessary. but the main point is not to let that off day throw off your stride.

if you have a day where you can't write (not enough time, too tired, burnt out, etc), try planning out your schedule for the rest of the month/whatever time frame so that you still hit your goal. ex, maybe you're going to write 1.2k every day instead of just 1k, for the rest of the month. replanning your schedule can make having an off day feel much less overwhelming.

Outro

thanks for reading through this post! if you don't know me, i'm Rayne H. Olivia, the admin of this account and the founder of the writer's afterglow.

here on instagram/tumblr, i post daily writing content/advice, and i also have a podcast called "the writer's afterglow" (available on spotify, google podcasts, and my website in my bio!)

if you want to see more of my content + stay in touch, please consider following my account! if not, i understand, and hope you have a nice day :)

keep writing,

Rayne <3

[mikauzoran]

What kind of requests do you take / can you do?

Hi there! Thanks so much for the Ask. ^.^ Sorry for the delay in response. I just finished a writing competition in July/August, and I was completely burnt out and didn't feel like touching a computer for two weeks. ^.^;

I'm actually not sure what kinds of requests I can do. That's the beauty of the thing, though. I don't know for sure until someone asks me for something.

Sometimes the request doesn't vibe with me and I don't end up doing it. Other times I say no originally and then write the story after all a year later. Sometimes I'm really inspired by the request and do it right away. Unless I'm doing a prompt giveaway event, I'd put the standard wait time at a few months. (I have a huge backlog of my own ideas, and unless a prompt really enthuses me, I tend to default to working on my own projects because I'm usually really excited about the things I come up with.)

I'm a bit like a monkey's paw too. ^.^; What I write usually turns out a little different than what the requester had in mind, but people usually end up really enjoying what I come up with, so that's a part of the fun too. I might come up with something you like better than what you were expecting.

I'm assuming that you're familiar with my work and enjoy it; otherwise, you wouldn't be asking about requests, so you kind of know what I've done in the past. (Anyone not familiar with my stories can check them out here: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikauzoran/works .)

Adrien is my favourite. I usually default to Adrien-centric stories if no one intervenes. I've written all kinds of pairings and characters, though. (See my short story collections: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2674243 .)

I like hurt/comfort, mutual pining, late night conversations, platonic bed sharing, identity shenanigans, and mentally revisiting places from my travels in my work. Again, I've written a lot of other troopes too, but those are some of my favourites.

I guess some general things that I don't do include:

1 ) Sad endings - Hurt/comfort is my jam, but I have to have the comfort. I need a happy ending (or at least a hopeful ending); otherwise, I can't do it. XD I enjoy my angst, but things have to resolve well in order for the angst to be cathartic.

2 ) Akuma fights - You guys don't want me to write akuma fights or action scenes. I don't enjoy them, and if I'm bored writing it, you're probably going to be bored reading it. I love stories where people sit down and talk about their feelings. XD I'll happily use an akuma attack as a plot device, but I'm just not interested in writing the actual fight itself.

3 ) Explicit sex - I'm fine with implied sexual content, but sex is gross, and, like akuma fights, doesn't interest me. I'll leave the smut to all you allosexual people out there. My strengths lie elsewhere. XD

4 ) Character Death - This is kind of like number three above. I'll kill off minor characters offscreen or in the past for plot and character development reasons, but I really don't like stories where people I'm emotionally invested in die right before my eyes, so it's not the kind of thing I write.

So, yeah. I hope that answers your question. ^.^ Thank you again for the Ask, and sorry again for the late response. I was really wiped out from writing so much in July and August. I haven't been touching my computer lately, and I just started writing again two days ago. ^.^;

#Ask #Ask Mikau #Miraculous Ladybug

[asavt]

Another cookie squad Headcanons

Featuring Sparkling, Vampire, cellphones and the Espresso and Madeleine Story of how they came together. Consider it an AU now baby!

-As a note, when I say the squad I'm mostly referring to the adults, so no worries about Walnut or Creampuff useless I mention them too

-Each one of the squad has been in Sparkling's bar at last once. There's no need to say who has been there the most. Sparkling has a time every time someone besides Roguefort comes, because to him it's mostly like "Oh I'll finally know the continuation to the burnt toast accident or maybe the cat catastrophe? Maybe a new POV of the--"

He practically knows a lot of what happens in between the squad.

-As another note, Sparkling's bar is called Milabo (You know, like the song from Zutomayo of the same name, which, btw, I relate a lot to Latte)

-*A great part of this “AU” is kind of inspired by the song. Part of its lyrics and vibe.

-Vampire is there most of the time when the squad visits the bar (it's almost as if he never leaves the bar and this is definitely not me low-key putting sparkvamp in this oh no--) Sometimes the fakes his sleep to listen to the things others say (Which is how he knows most of Rogue's pan-ic).

-Walnut has been in Sparkling's bar too, but at day and for case-solving purposes only. Sparkling will give her some alcohol-free drink for free sometimes (mostly because he gets along pretty well with the nut family and because Almond usually pays him whatever he serves her).

-If the squad had cellphones (and probably an app like discord because.), their group chat would initially be called "Coffee mage appreciation group" and then be changed to "Coffee bean appreciation group"

Coffee Bean: Can we please change the group name and mine?

Guided by the Devine: No <3

Coffee Bean: Fuck you.

-*And they all would dedicate half their time to make fun of Almond but with love.

-Espresso has been mistaken for a dark mage before by Almond. It was how they meet actually. Almond had pulled him to interrogate him and got a long lecture on the differences between black magic and coffee magic.

-Madeleine gets along rather well with Roguefort. Rogue seems impressed by Maddie’s acting skills.

-Madeleine is currently living with Espresso. Out of his armor most of the time. He usually takes care of keeping the house clean and preparing meals (He never really had to cook before but the first dish he made wasn’t bad at all). Sometimes he will tag along Almond in the detective’s work, or Almond will ask for his help.

-I’m still unsure if I want the Almond/Roguefort/Latte to be romantic or platonic. But honestly? Both are good. Latte is pretty close to Almond and Roguefort but not in the way she is with Espresso (that makes them look like siblings jkashduawhu). Perhaps I’ll keep it platonic.

-The Espresseleine/Madespresso story of how they came together, because I seem to not be able to write it down JSHALDHUIWADWA-

--It happens after the Puppet Show mini quest. Madeleine starts to ask for Espresso's "assistance" in different mission that are given to him. Angel is there too, of course.

--During these missions is that Essy clarifies that no, they are not friends, no, he does not like Madeleine. Bringing up the knight begin too prideful and self-centered if not all then most of the time.

--Is not until one of their missions goes wrong, were Angel is knocked out and Espresso (seeing and knowing that if Madeleine is knocked down too they might not be able to go back to the kingdom ever) pretty much receives a rather big attack for Madeleine is that he kind realizes the facts given by espresso true. All while he is carrying Essy and Angel back to the kingdom, running and exhausted too.

--Clover begin kind of a mediator between the two (I want to see more of my son--)

--"Devine, protect us" Should happen too after this. An scenario like, Madeleine coming to think something like "I'm the shield, the one who goes on the front line and receives the blows for those who can't, always looking straight ahead... but if I am doing that then who watches my back? Who do I rely on and trust to take care of most enemies so the damage received is not overwhelming...?"

Power of team work baby!!!

--As a note to this, Maddie getting his cape damaged as well as his hair. So, you get short hair Maddie~

(I've been drawing him with short hair in secret now I have an excuse to show)

-- "You...cut your hair..." *Madeleine touches the points of it with one of his hands, pensive* "...pft it'll grow back!"

--There's also this "Search for your own light" thing between Angel and Maddie. Angel encouraging Madeleine to do so. Maybe Madeleine giving his best wishes to them for their wish to fly before they decide to part ways.

--Madeleine trying other ways to befriend Essy. Which at first Espresso mistaken as the knight usual attempts to befriend anyone he sees out of habit and attention seeking, but once they realize the feeling is completely genuine, Espresso is rather perplexed.

--"You can't just befriend people by buying them gifts (although I do appreciate them)" "Then what?" "hmm..."

--Said gifts used to be rather expensive things, simple though. Eventually Madeleine settles to just pass by Espresso's place, give him any food he had bought that day (which usually is glazed donuts), ask if he needs any help with something (getting a vase, materials, moving things), and if not then he just says his good byes, best wishes and silently leaves. (A note on the "silently leaves": Madeleine is pretty much used to speak loudly and enter loudly anywhere, he still does this at this point, but when it's about Espresso he is a bit more quiet, a bit showy over his entrances still, but less loud, and he actually knocks the door)

--Madeleine eventually manages to go out with Espresso to other places that aren't some place in the forest full of enemies. Probably after some more visits to his place and more calm talks between the two, Madeleine brings up that Espresso tends to act a bit cold or distant towards a lot of people, and that, although he understands his discomfort at begin in public spaces or too long out of his work, he should try and open up a bit. This reminds Essy of a certain friend he hasn't seen in some time, and from whom he keeps getting letters.

--Shenanigans.

--There's still some bickering between the two, always with a playful undertone though.

--Espresso explains Madeleine, one time the knight has gotten Espresso wrapped in a blanket burrito again and got him to bed, that sometimes, no matter how tired he might feel, he is simply unable to sleep. Part of a headcanon of mine that coffee magic has this side effect on it's users, prolonged usage of this kind of magic will induce a high caffeine kind of state, which on the long run can fuck up the user's sleep schedule. Madeleine understands this, but remains stubborn about keeping Espresso in the bed so at last he can get some rest from his work and clear his mind a little, the idiot falls asleep in the process and Espresso doesn't try to wake him up.

--This happens several times after, neither of them thinking of the implications of not begin bothered by the sudden closeness they share until it's too late.

--Espresso realizes first that he has slowly, yet nicely, fallen for Madeleine. I think I talked about this before but I'll do it again: Is in one of the times Madeleine has gotten Espresso to bed to get some rest, Espresso not begin able to fall asleep and Madeleine doing again. Is while he thinks of how he has gotten to know Madeleine for real, not the Knight Commander from a noble family or the Chosen by the Devine, but as he is, that he comes to think that "Ah.... I love him" and he remains calm about it.

--Espresso doesn't overthink it, just thinks that, if Madeleine ever got an interest in him, he would surely show it. So he waits. Even if in the end his feelings aren't mutual he knows he'll do just fine remaining friends.

--Madeleine realizes not many days after. And the realization hits him like a truck. Alone in his place and probably in bed looking at the ceiling thinking about Espresso. Once he realizes and thinks about it a bit more his face gets all red and chooses to scream in the pillow.

--He would think about telling Espresso as soon as he can, after all, he doesn't want his feelings to make their friendship weird. He values it, a lot. Maybe because his friendship with Espresso it's the first one where he genuinely wanted to become friends with someone.

--Espresso takes the confession calmly, gets all flustered after they kiss for the first time.

--As a few extras of this: Madeleine goes back to the Republic, asked to be seen by his family and Espresso goes to Parfedia, where a few students have applied to his class to his surprise. When they see each other again is at Parfedia (Madeleine sending a message to Espresso beforehand about his arrival) -there was this one drawing I did once of Maddie running to hug Espresso, something like that happens-. Madeleine gets very clingy for some reason, which they speak later and comes out as “Home doesn’t quite feel like home…” “Why is that?” “I don’t know… maybe I’ve become used to be around you”

--Espresso lets ends up letting Madeleine stay with him until he either feels like returning to the Republic or is called back, whatever happens first (though none will happen for maybe a year or a little more).

--Ends with Madeleine meeting Latte and Almond.

#Headcanon time baby! #The cookie squad #Espresso Cookie #Madeleine cookie #espresseleine #madespresso #Roguefort cookie #Almond cookie #Latte Cookie #Sparkling cookie #Vampire cookie #Walnut cookie #Bar gays

[ghoste-catte]

I was curious what advice would you give to someone new to writing fics? I've been wanting to get back into it but haven't seriously written something since high school. I hope this isn't an annoying question or anything!

Not an annoying question at all! I'm just a little worried that I won't have terribly good or useful advice. To be honest, I also sort of stopped writing in earnest right as I finished high school, and didn't pick it back up until my late 20s. It's certainly an adjustment! But I think the few things that really helped me get back into writing fic as a hobby and something I spend quite a bit of time on would be:

Write for yourself first, then find your other motivations. My original inspiration in getting back into fic writing was that there just were not that many fics I liked for my favorite pairing, and I wanted more of them, and I especially wanted more with the tropes and characterizations I wanted to see. I think at the very core of anything you need that internal spark that drives you. At the same time, for me at least, if I just relied on my own drive, I would not get much done; I need some external guardrails. So having people send prompts, or writing for particular events, or writing stuff for friends really helps me to get my ass in gear and finish stuff. That may not be the perfect motivator for you, and that's fine! You just gotta figure out what is.

Be open to inspiration. Anything and everything can be spun out into a story with the right tweaking. Obviously stuff like music is a classic inspiration source, but I've also pulled ideas from poetry, from memes, from Reddit threads, from YouTube videos, from rambling conversations on Discord and from real life to make fics out of. So many times, someone will post a silly Twitter screencap, and I'll think, There's a fic in this. And a lot of the time, there is! Research is a wonderful thing, but so is serendipity. If you're out there actively looking for ideas, eventually one that you like will stumble past you.

Find your community. I can genuinely say I never would have finished more than one fic if I didn't have fandom friends to talk to about even stupid headcanons, to bounce ideas off of, and to encourage me (and to encourage them in turn!). Discord has been a godsend, and some of my closest online friends are people I met in the GaaLee discord server. As I've gotten more comfortable as a writer, I've also joined general writing servers and Reddit communities and have found them immensely helpful on both a motivational level (bingos, sprints, owe-me challenges) and on a craft level (plot workshopping and writing ethics and live grammar help). It's a lot easier to think about fic ideas and hash through problem moments when I have a constant stream of fandom-related chatter coming from the little people who live in my phone! Ao3 is an amazing website, and it's great as, well, an archive, but it isn't social media by design. If you want conversation and human connection and cheerleading, you've gotta forge out and find it.

Make it a habit ... If you want to produce anything longer than a couple hundred words, you really have to set aside time for it. And writing is just like knitting or dirt biking or painting little model figurines: the more you do it, the more easily it comes. When I was first getting back into the proper swing of things, I committed myself to 30 minutes of writing per week. Just 30 minutes. I didn't even hit that goal every week, but there were tons of weeks I got on a roll and went over that amount, and by the end of the year I'd written over 200,000 words. I used to spend an hour laboriously tip-tapping out 200 words, but now I can easily blow through 1k in a 50 minute sprint. It's all about training that muscle.

... But don't make it a chore. With fanfic, you aren't doing this as a job, and you aren't ultimately doing it for anyone other than you. That means you can take breaks when you need them, you can set deadlines and then fail to meet them, you can write stuff and then decide to never post it. When you start getting burnt out, when the practice loses the joy and energy, stop. There's no 'hustle' here. In our capitalist society we're so trained to push past our limits and keep going even when it hurts us, but the hobby you do for connection and relaxation and whatever else shouldn't be like that.

Ignore metrics. Sometimes stuff isn't gonna get hits, or kudos, or comments. There are some basic 'rules' as to the stuff that does and doesn't get traction, but every time you post something it's a roll of the dice. If you're focused on watching that kudos counter tick up, you will get bummed out fast. And any writer will tell you that the stuff you think is your best work will never be the stuff that gets the most accolades. So you have to find something else to give you a sense of success. For me, it's watching my wordcount go up in my stats and those occasional comments where someone has a lot to say and that one person who always leaves me a <3 emoji (and, shout out to @egregiousderp, having someone to have long one-on-one conversations with about the stuff that never made it to page).

Don't strive for perfection. It's really easy to want your first ever fic to be a complete showstopper, the best fic fandom has ever seen, hitting all the tropes and the ideas and the characterization that you just know fandom is missing and would be everyone's top favorite if only it was written. This is a trap. No one fic can be all things. Most people who want to write an epic as their very first venture will not see the end of that epic, because they haven't put in the practice hours to make something on that scale work. That's not to say you can't start out with a big, sprawling multichap, just don't expect it to be the greatest thing since sliced bread if you're just starting out, and be okay with abandoning it for greener pastures if you get to that point. Think of the first time someone makes a vase out of clay or bakes a loaf of bread. That's never their best vase or their best bread. If they keep up with it, they'll make more and better vases and loaves. Likewise, your first fic is probably not gonna be your best fic. See it for what it is: your launchpad.

You can't edit an empty page, but you can over-edit a full one. This kind of spins off of #7, but if the words aren't there, you can't fix them. Daydreams and headcanons are fantastic (and god, how many times have I wished for a speech-to-text engine that projected my falling asleep thoughts onto a Google doc for later perusal), but they aren't fic. If you want to write fic, you've gotta get comfortable with the idea of sloppy outlines and rough first drafts. You can't build a house without a frame and you can't build a man without a skeleton (I mean, you can, I guess, but he'd be one floppy man). The nice thing about fic is that it doesn't matter if that frame is structurally unsound or the skeleton has 18 too many bones, you can clean that up in the editing process. But you can't start hanging curtains and arranging furniture in something that doesn't even have walls. That's the process. But! Also know when to set down the editor's pen and say, "Okay, this is good enough for government work", and call it done. ("Done" doesn't have to mean "posted", but it does mean, "I'm done picking at this for now, and I'm gonna go write some more stuff".) Over-editing can make stuff seem laborious and forced, and it prevents you from actually improving. To continue belaboring the house metaphor, you can spend your whole life rearranging furniture in just one room, but the end result of that is a pretty narrow existence and a room with a lot of footprints and tracks in the carpet.

Write shit down. When you have ideas, jot them down--in a notebook, in a Google Doc, in the Notes app of your phone, in pen on the back of your hand. You think you will remember that brilliant line of dialogue or sparkling snippet of narration or genius plot that came to you in a dream, but you Will Not. Write it down. Write it down. Write it down! There have been so many times when a fic was completely saved by past!me having written down my shower thoughts about what happens next in the fic, that present!me had completely forgotten about and was floundering over.

Have fun with it! Try different stuff. Try stupid stuff. Try experimental stuff. Do stuff you've never done before that you aren't sure will work. It's important to get comfortable with your niche (for example, I know I'm never going to be the sort of person who writes intricate plots of intrigue or super long 100k epics or detailed battles), but you can't find that niche unless you explore lots of different niches! Figure out what you love and what you absolutely hate, and then keep doing the stuff you love.

Okay, so that was actually TEN things, but ... I hope you still found this helpful. Feel free to send another ask if any of this was confusing or unclear. Good luck with your fic writing and, if you want, send me a link to what you've written once you've written it! I'd love to read it.

#answered #anonymous #writing advice #i guess? #am i qualified to give this? #no #but im doing it anyway

[woozisnoots]

hey alex, i'm kind of in need of an emergency request :/ i've not been feeling well at all mentally for the past few weeks and its been eating me out from the inside. it may be symptoms of being burnt but yeah. i was wondering if could you write something with jihoon and him comforting you by taking your mind off the thoughts and distracting you with little things such as talking or showing you what he's working on? the little things can be completely up to you to choose c: - lissa

hi baby 🥺 i’m sorry i know this is late! >< exams has me 🦀 crabby this season but i know how stressed you’ve been lately and i wanted to make sure you got the jihoon you deserve !!! and ofc, i’m always here if you ever need to talk it out with anyone 💓

𝙤𝙣 𝙖 𝙩𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙙𝙖𝙮

° pairing: jihoon x reader ° genre: fluff ° summary: you’re stressed, blessed and jihoon obsessed. ° word count: 1080 ° warning: none! ° a/n: [unedited]

masterlist!

a typical thursday night for you and your boyfriend is as follows: both of you having no where to go but jihoon’s study since it was the only place to provide quiet and facilitate creative freedom. on the far end, jihoon has his eyes glued to the computer screen as he has one hand hovering over the whites of his keyboards while the other grips the fret board of his guitar. while you on the other hand, tap your apple pen on your temple staring at a half blank canvas on your iPad. for legal reasons, sadly, this was all for school.

you swear the idea came to you in the morning but just as the day went on, the picture slowly started to drift away like your will to tolerate the amount of assignments your professors love to give. going into to art school, you would think the semester would fly by doing what you love.

but there’s a line between an occupation and a hobby; and lately, you’re too worn out to know the difference.

you abruptly turn off your iPad, almost slamming the deice hard on the couch. you were done for the day. this sucked. ask any artist, musician, or writer what it’s like to be stuck in a creative block or burned out, if you will. it is anything but a good time, and this was only just the rise. it’s late, you’re tired, and you desperately want to go home and sleep it off.

after relinquishing your anger, you cross your arms over your chest as you slump down onto the cushions, not noticing your boyfriend look over at you.

“everything good over there?” the concern in his voice makes you pout.

“no,” you replied honestly, not putting anything past him. “quite the opposite actually. i’m mentally exhausted. i have no idea what to draw, and even if i do draw literally anything, it’s probably gonna suck donkey ass.” the memory of

“so like, ass ass?” jihoon’s hysterical laugh now fills the room while you take a few seconds to register what he said. finally realizing the joke, you mutter a ‘oh my god’ under your breath before throwing the nearest plushie his direction.

“can you shut the f-” your words are still overpowered by jihoon’s laugh, not bothering to finish your sentence. besides, the sight of him catching the medium sized elephant plushie and hugging it so tight to try and suppress his giggles makes you forget what you were going to say anyways. “you’re real lucky that you’re cute as hell.”

“not as cute as you and your button nose.” you practically roll your eyes out of your sockets at jihoon’s remark, gagging at the sight of him being intentionally adorable. he only does this when he knows you’re upset. you let it pass though, like you always do since you’re one of the only ones he acts cute to.

“well, if you’re not particularly doing anything right at this moment, how about you come over here and help me with this melody?” jihoon rolls his chair out to create a space for you to come over.

“you know i know nothing about music right?” you say doubtfully.

“come on, all you gotta do is choose between these two samples. i have it all set up, you just gotta tell me which one sounds the best” he prompts to you.

eyeing your iPad at your feet, you stick out your tongue in annoyance. well, it’s not like he was wrong. you definitely weren’t revisiting your assignment for awhile. but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t add a little bit of fun in the mix.

“and what’s in it for me?” the palm of your hands find the edge of your jawline, patiently waiting for your boyfriend’s answer. he’s always quick to find the catch to your antics, it’s just a matter of what he’s willing to offer.

“let’s see,” he says as he mimics your position with his elbow resting on his desk and his hand meeting his cheek. “a free ride back at our place, food on the way there, and…”

he rolls his eyes to the ceiling, displaying a full face of concentration. all his options sound deliciously appealing, but you need something more to cure the never ending trauma that dawns over you so the obvious solution is purposely wait a little longer to see how far he’ll go for you.  

“a back massage? and extra kisses?” jihoon finally concludes.

“in addition to you cleaning up the laundry on your side of the bedroom,” you add, proudly smiling.

“deal.” with that confirmation, you gladly prance over to stand beside jihoon, letting your hands press against the desk to support your stance.

jihoon, however, stares at you with a look of immense confusion. “what are you doing? i have a spot reserved just for you.”

now, there are technically only two available places to seat at his studio. granted, it is a snug studio to begin with but you can make room if you’re creative; unfortunately, yours was running out at the moment. there’s a single sofa, essentially for you to fully stretch out your limbs as you worked, and a single wheely chair for himself.  

but this time, your boyfriend apparently wasn’t about to let you uncomfortably lounge around on your feet even for a second. no, he thinks his lap is a much more comfortable place.

“i lied, i’m almost done with the song. i just wanted you near me,” he whispers near your ear as he securely wraps his hands around your waist.

your usual self would have made a snarky comment at his sneakiness, but his attempts to make you feel better prevail and you lean your head to the side to meet jihoon’s.

“well now you get kisses to go with it,” you turn your head slightly to face him, cuffing both his cheeks so you can clearly see the array of brown shades in his eyes. ones that could take you away for hours on end and make you feel like you never left reality.

your face relaxes as you feel the warmth of jihoon’s hand gently placed on top of yours. what started off as a bad night, the thought slowly dissolves from your mind the longer this moment lasts. and with a delicate kiss to seal your boyfriend’s lips, you move on. thankfully, with life in your favor and jihoon by your side.

#seventeen #seventeen fluff #woozi #woozi fluff #caratwritersclub #jihoon #jihoon fluff #seventeen fanfic #woozi fanfic #seventeen scenario #woozi scenarios #seventeen imagine #woozi imagines #seventeen au #woozi au #seventeen x reader

[pumpkaaboo]

Here's chapter 1 of the Revolutionary Girl Utena/Neon Genesis Evangelion crossover I've been working on with @nerd-dot-jpeg! It's been really fun to work on so far! Full text under the cut.

“Attention, due to the special state of emergency declared for the Toukai region and the surrounding mid-Kanto area, an evacuation has been ordered. Please proceed to your designated shelter immediately.”

Utena stretched nervously, bouncing into a lunge with her left leg forward, then her right, before standing up straight and pulling her arms to the side one at a time, relishing in the weight of her thick black jacket. She grunted with exertion, then sighed, leaning back against a nearby telephone pole. “She’s late…”

For once, the city’s streets and monstrous buildings of concrete, glass, and steel were silent. No cars honked in tune with the screaming of their drivers caught in a traffic jam, no neighbors shouted at each other from their windows, and all the speaker systems that usually blared a cacophony of arguments for why Utena needed countless products she had never heard of only repeated that same toneless message in perfect sync. Not even the pigeons were around to make noise.

“Attention,” the message looped, “Due to the special state of emergency declared…”

Utena pulled her long pink hair into a ponytail. Then she took it out. She kicked an empty soda can into the air, bouncing it between her feet. She made a game out of not letting it hit the ground, before finally sending it soaring to a perfect landing in a nearby trash can. She gave herself a moment to celebrate her shot, but the excitement faded quickly, leaving only a gnawing anxiety behind. Then she put her hair back up.

“Maybe she got delayed by the Angel… I should be out there, doing something… I came all this way to help, but I’m useless now!”

With a growl of frustration, Utena sprang back to her feet and started doing lunges again.

Suddenly, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. She whipped around, and met the gaze of a girl with dark skin and long violet hair that cascaded down to her waist. Her green eyes seemed to almost glow in the afternoon light, and she stood perfectly still in the middle of the intersection, the heat distortion causing her form to waver like a mirage, a trick of the light. Something about her seemed familiar, somehow.

For some reason, she reminded Utena of a doll.

Perhaps it was the way her arms hung limply, languid, at her sides, perhaps it was her empty expression, perhaps it was the fact that Utena had been staring at her, frozen, for at least twenty seconds and she hadn’t blinked-

“Attention, due to the special state of emergency-”

Utena jumped, the announcement snapping her out of her trance. She glanced up at it, then back at the girl, who hadn’t moved. She took a step forward. “Hey-”

You need to get to an evacuation shelter, she wanted to say, it’s not safe here, but she was cut off by the sounds of a revving engine and the screeching of tires against pavement as a bright yellow car skidded to a stop in front of her, almost tipping over itself in the process.

The driver’s-side door opened, and a woman in sunglasses and a red military jacket leaned out. “Sorry to keep you waiting! Utena Tenjou, right?”

Utena blinked, then nodded. She stood on her toes, leaning to the side of the car to try and catch a glimpse of the girl again, but the intersection was empty save for the steaming tire tracks and smell of burnt rubber.

“Something wrong?”

“Nothing I just… I thought I saw someone.”

The woman followed Utena’s gaze, then shook her head. “Well, whoever it was, they must have left. I hope they get to a shelter in time… You should get in, by the way. I hate to rush you, but, well… unforeseen circumstances and all that.”

As if on cue, a thunderous boom rang out from somewhere in the distance, as a shockwave rippled across the city. Utena stumbled, catching herself on the car. ��Yeah, you’re right. Sorry I had to make you come all this way at such a time… it’s rotten luck, really.”

The woman grinned. “Don’t worry about it. I’m Misato Akagi, by the way, and I’ll be your commanding officer from here on out.”

Utena nodded, climbing into the passenger’s seat and buckling her seat belt. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Akagi.”

Misato groaned. “Please, Ms. Akagi is my wife. You can call me Misato.” She took in Utena’s poorly-disguised shock and laughed as she pulled out of her “parking space”. “Let me guess: first time you’ve ever met a real live gay person, huh?”

“I- well I mean- I’d heard of- and of course there must have been some that I just didn’t know they were- but-”

“Don’t worry about it. Just treat us like you would any other couple and we’ll get along fine.”

Utena nodded. “Got it, Ms. Misato.”

“Hey, you’re getting it! By the way, I need to make a call now that I have you, but is there anything you need to say first?” Utena shook her head. “Great, this’ll just be a couple minutes.”

Utena took this as her cue to tune Misato out and stare out the window. Just over the mountains, she could see a couple of silver dots moving through the sky.

“Hey, Ritsuko, it’s me. I have the Sixth, and we’ll make it to the car shuttle train in about twenty minutes, assuming the Angel doesn’t fall right on top of us, of course. Make sure it’s ready.” Some muffled words came through the speaker, but Utena couldn’t make them out. “Of course I don’t doubt you, I just wanted to check to be safe… oh, and make sure Ohtori knows we’re on our way, too. He’s been quite vehement about making sure this one gets to HQ ASAP. Love you too, see you soon, bye!”

Misato hung up the phone with a loving sigh, her eyes taking on a relaxed softness as they returned to the road. Utena glanced at the phone, then back at Misato. “Your wife?” she asked.

“The one and only Ritsuko Akagi, the sharpest mind this side of the Andromeda galaxy. God, I love that woman.”

I can tell, thought Utena. Now that she’d had a bit of time to get accustomed to the idea of two women being… together, she could appreciate what the romance had clearly done for Misato. She fought back a pang of envy at the adoring expression on Misato’s face. Maybe someday, when I find my prince…

They drove in silence for a few minutes, barring the occasional shockwave from the battle with the Angel raging on in the distance. A blinding light cast the entire valley they were driving through into shadow, but it was gone as quickly as it came, leaving nothing but a plume of smoke behind.

Utena shifted in her seat. “I hope the pilot’s okay…”

Misato grimaced. “It’s Saionji-san this time, he’s tough, he’ll be fine,” she said, unconvincingly. The silence, which before had been uncomfortable, was growing unbearable. “So!” Misato said, clearly in a desperate attempt to break it. “From what I’ve read in your file, we actually have a lot in common!”

“Really?”

“Yep! Antarctica, Second Impact, right?”

Utena stared. “You too? I didn’t realize anyone else…”

“As far as anyone knows, the two of us are the only survivors, and we were both kids whose parents worked there. Kind of a weird coincidence, don’t you think?”

“Definitely. Um, if it’s not too forward of me to ask, how long were you…?”

“Oh, I wasn’t in cryostasis like you were, so I didn’t lose any time. Luckily, the protective capsule my dad put me in got found floating out at sea before I died of dehydration, but as a result of my experiences, I was unable to speak for several years.”

“Oh.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it. It was a long time ago, and I’m totally fine now!” Misato flashed Utena a grin. “What about you? What’s your story? If you feel comfortable sharing it, that is.”

“Um, this is going to sound kinda silly.”

“Don’t worry about it! This is a bonding exercise, anything goes.”

“Well… it was a prince.”

“Wait, what? What was?”

Another shockwave tore through the car, stronger this time, or maybe they were just closer to the source. Utena cried out in alarm, and she could see that Misato’s hands had tightened on the steering wheel.

“After the wing my parents were in collapsed, but before the big explosion, there was a prince who came to me. Like, right out of a fairy tale. He was shining, and he smelled like roses. He told me to never lose my strength or nobility, even when I grew up, and then put me in the pod and sealed it. Um, but my memories of that day are pretty fuzzy, so I don’t really know where he came from or… anything else.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it, seven years in cryostasis will do that to you.” Misato flashed Utena a reassuring smile.

Utena returned the smile, and then, emboldened by Misato’s encouragement, continued. “Well, after that, I decided that I wanted to become a prince who saves people just like he did for me, so I started dressing like a boy, and I adopted a chivalrous lifestyle… and well, here I am now.”

Misato’s eyes shone. “That’s so cool! It really gives me hope, you know, that people still choose to be brave and kind to each other, even after everything… oh, and by the way, the school you’ll be attending has a mandatory dress code, but one of the perks of being an Eva pilot is that you get to wear whatever you want, so you won’t have to fight the teachers on the whole uniform thing.”

“Really? That’s a relief.” Utena rubbed her fingers absentmindedly, protectively, against her jacket’s thick sleeve, enjoying the texture. “My last school had this crazy guidance counselor… I swear, you put one toe over these invisible lines people made up about what boys and girls can and can’t do, and everyone loses their minds.”

Misato winced. “Tell me about it…”

“Oh! Oh right, of course you’d know all about that-” Utena flailed around verbally once more, suddenly remembering Misato’s… situation. “Sorry, I just forgot-”

“Hey, no worries. I guess you could say we’re birds of a feather in a lot of ways, huh?”

“...Yeah, I- I guess we are.”

“By the way, how would you feel about-”

Whatever Misato was about to say next was cut off by another shockwave, this one even stronger than the last. But this time, instead of dissipating harmlessly, it was followed by an avalanche of boulders thrown into the air from when a nearby mountain had- oh dear god, it had exploded.

Misato shouted with alarm and slammed on the brakes, just barely avoiding a crash with the boulder in front of them. Several more impacted with the road behind them, trapping the car right where it was. A roar shook the mountains, and the pair slowly turned their gazes toward the source.

There was an Evangelion standing there in a combat stance, prog knife in hand, its metallic chassis gleaming blood-red in the harsh afternoon light, with green and gold accents shimmering like stars through the heavy smoke rising from the ashes of what used to be a mountain. And standing across from it…

“That’s an Angel?” Utena asked, horror keeping her voice from rising above a whisper. Misato gave a terse nod.

The thing was titanic , almost half the size of the mountain that it and the Eva had just wiped off the face of the earth. It had six sinewy arms and no legs or head, and a red orb portruded from its back. It roared once more from its many gaping, salivating jaws, one at each shoulder and probably several more where Utena couldn’t see, before making another charge at the Eva. The massive robot sprang into action, dodging the Angel’s hands and slashing at it with its prog knife again and again, but was repelled each time by some sort of shimmering orange field.

“I… I’d seen the videos, but…”

Misato didn’t take her eyes off the fight. “Nothing can prepare you for the real thing. I’m sorry you had to find out like this. We need to get out of this car; it’ll be of no protection for us if either of them hurls something — or, god forbid, themselves — over here.”

Utena nodded with agreement, and together they exited the car and climbed on top of a nearby boulder, hoping for a better vantage point. Utena pulled her knees to her chest. “So that’s gonna be my duty next, huh?”

“If we survive this…” Misato’s voice was barely a whisper; she didn’t seem to have noticed that she had spoken aloud. “You’ll be added to the rotation of pilots for Unit R05, yes.”

“Ah.”

They sat together in silence for a few more minutes, watching the fight. The combatants seemed to be at a sort of standstill, with the Angel unable to pin down the Eva for long enough to bite into it, and the Eva unable to pierce the Angel’s strange orange shield.

Misato’s eyes narrowed. “Saionji’s sync rate must be down, if he can’t get through that A.T. field. Argh, I knew we should’ve prepared Miki instead, but he insisted-”

The Angel got a hit on the Eva's face.

There was a moment of sudden, deafening silence.

And then the Eva screamed.

Giant steel-plated arms grasped at its head, metallic and organic screeches blending together. Blood-red spikes shot out of the chassis, fracturing it in several places. Misato cursed and whipped her phone out of her pocket, hastily pressing a few buttons. The face of an intense-looking blonde woman popped up on the screen, with a white hospital room in the background.  “He’s been the pilot for too long, psychological contamination is setting in! R05’s going berserk!” Misato shouted.

“We know that!” the other woman hissed.

“So what are our options?”

“We’ll have to shut down R05 and send D10.”

Misato sucked in a breath. “No… Anthy’s still injured! She can’t pilot in her state!”

“Do you have a better plan?” the woman shot back.

MIsato glared at her feet.

The blonde woman turned to her side. “That’s it then. Anthy, you’re being deployed.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Utena gasped in horror as a wheeled gurney came into view of the camera. There was a girl on it-the same girl she had seen in the intersection, but her purple hair was curled into a tight roll all the way around her head, and she wore a pair of round glasses, and almost every inch of her skin was covered in bandages, some of them already showing red with blood soaking through. The girl seemed to mentally steel herself, before sitting up with a soft cry of pain and slumping against the blonde woman’s side, panting.

“No!”

All eyes turned toward Utena.

“I’ll pilot the Eva! That’s what I’m here for, right? You can’t make her do this!”

Misato met the blonde woman’s eyes. “...Could that work?”

She thought for a few seconds. “If we perform a full shutdown of R05, we could buy the Sixth about thirty seconds to get into the entry plug before it restarts itself and resumes its berserk rampage. Of course, that would be thirty seconds of total vulnerability…”

“We could distract it by sending military jets to bomb it,” Misato added.

“That could work… but there’s still the risk of the Angel realizing what we’re trying to do, or a stray bomb hitting the Sixth.”

“Then let’s leave it up to her. Utena, are you sure you want to do this?”

Utena hadn’t broken eye contact with the strange girl. Those green eyes, shining with pain and fear and despair...

“I’ll do it.”

The girl’s eyes widened with shock and, perhaps, a spark of hope.

Misato closed her eyes. “That settles it, then. Ritsuko, I hope you’re prepared to line everything up quickly, because we’re going to need that time. Utena, I’m going to need you to watch R05 closely. Try to predict where it’s going to fall, because you’re only going to have thirty seconds to get into the entry plug, where its spine meets its neck. Once you’re in there, you’re going to find Saionji unconscious in the cockpit. He’s wearing a pair of triangular metallic hair clips-those are the neural interface, you’ll need to clip them to your own hair, as close to your head as possible. Got all that?”

Utena nodded, her stance tense with determination. “Good. After that… Well, from what I’ve heard, piloting an Eva is sink-or-swim. There isn’t really any advice I can give you, since I’ve never done it myself… so try to swim. Good luck.”

Misato returned to her phone and started barking orders, and Utena slid off the rock towards where the battle was raging on. The spikes piercing out of R05’s chassis had started dripping a red liquid that steamed when it hit the ground. The metal at its shoulder blades bulged and cracked, and she could see an eerie purple light shining through the fissures.

One drop of liquid hit the Angel’s hand, and its howl of pain shook the entire valley. The hand melted away completely, leaving a stump at the wrist. The spots on the ground where the melted flesh had landed turned green, and if Utena looked closely, she could see thorny vines growing out of them.

Utena returned her attention to the Angel. Maybe, without its hand, we have a chance… her thoughts were cut off when the Angel flexed its arm, and two more hands grew from the stump. Oh. It can do that. Okay. The Angel screeched from all of its mouths, and as R05 lunged at it, caught the mech’s arms with two hands each, and began scrabbling at the Eva's chestpiece with its free arm.

With a keening cry, more spikes shot out of R05’s chest, catching the Angel’s shoulders and causing it to stumble back. The Eva took a few steps backward, panting. There was a sickening crack , and Utena could see that the fissures in its back had grown a bit larger, the purple light spilling out a little bit brighter.

Misato cursed. “Its wings are about to erupt! Ritsuko, we need those reinforcements now! ”

“They’re on their way!” And sure enough, Utena could hear jet engines approaching rapidly, Something streaked toward the Angel, and an explosion rang out. The Angel stumbled forward and whipped around to face the squadron of fighter jets that were flying towards it. It let out a roar, and sprinted away from R05.

“Utena, go! ” Misato shouted as the Eva, seemingly about to charge after the Angel shuddered to a halt, then collapsed onto its side. Utena sprang into action, sprinting towards R05 before it even hit the ground and vaulting onto its wrist, before climbing up the arm. She pulled herself up onto its back and began making her way towards the entry plug as quickly as she could, taking care to avoid the red spikes, which she could now see were black at the base.

Another explosion from the Angel’s battle with the jets rang out, and Utena cried out in alarm as she fell into a crouch, clinging to one of the fissures in R05’s armor to keep from falling off. It was emanating some sort of strange energy, and Utena’s hands were starting to go numb. She pushed herself back to her feet, wincing as she tried to massage the feeling back into her fingers, and kept going.

She had just barely reached the entry plug when a shudder ran through the Eva, and it began to move its arms into position to push itself back up. Utena gulped, then twisted the release on the emergency escape hatch on the entry plug and slipped inside, shutting it tightly behind her.

And not a moment too soon, for an instant after the hatch was sealed, she was suddenly vertical, flung forward into empty space. Then she hit some sort of uncomfortably warm liquid, and didn’t even have time to gasp for breath before she was submerged. She coughed and sputtered, but after a few seconds, realized that she could breathe in the liquid almost as easily as air. It was orange, and transparent, thicker than air or water but not gelatinous, and it smelled like salt, with a faint hint of something acrid and sickly sweet. Fighting down a wave of disgust, Utena swam deeper into the entry plug, towards where she could see a chair suspended in the liquid.

Sure enough, just as Misato had said, there was a boy floating there, unconscious, his dark hair swirling around him like a kelp forest, with the triangular neural interface clips attached close to his scalp. Utena gingerly undid the clasps, then with both clips clutched in her hand, shoved the boy (Saionji?) up away from the seat. She settled into it, and somehow, the chair seemed almost made to fit her narrow frame.

Alright, R05 , Utena thought, it’s just you and me now. Moment of truth. With a deep breath, she affixed the clips to her own head.

She was enveloped by the scent of roses.

A heartbeat later, she was nearly bowled over by a wave of sensation and pain. The walls of the entry plug around her flickered , and suddenly displayed the scene of the battle, as if she were seeing through R05’s eyes. She could feel the spikes protruding from the Eva's body just as though it was her own, along with waves of pressure pounding at her shoulder blades.

Utena couldn't suppress a cry of agony, and she curled up in her seat. She could see R05’s movements jerk to a halt as it adjusted to this new connection. Emotions tore through her, somehow more intense than they were normally. Pain, confusion, fear… familiarity? Something about this, about being so close to this monstrosity of steel and fluid felt… right , somehow. Forcing herself upright, Utena reached out and stroked the wall of the entry plug.

“Hey, it’ll be alright,” she said, in the most soothing voice she could muster, “I’m new here, and I don’t really know how to do this, so we’re going to have to work together, okay?”

The Evangelion had stopped moving. It stood at attention, and even though Utena knew on an intellectual level that it was just a robot, it almost seemed… hopeful? “I know it hurts, I’m so, so sorry. Please, just work with me here and it’ll be over soon, I promise.”

Utena felt a ripple of some emotion — was it acceptance? Relief? — and then, suddenly, the pressure at her shoulder blades receded, and the limbs of the Eva became her own. Utena smiled gratefully. “Thanks, bud. Now let’s go kill an Angel.”

Together, they turned their attention back to the fight. Two of the planes had crashed to the ground already, a third was missing with no sign of where it had gone, and the Angel stood on four of its arms, the other two flailing wildly into the air, occasionally extending far past where its bones should allow and requiring a plane to make a hasty dodge to avoid it. “We need to get it to leave those planes alone. Can you do that?”

As if in affirmation, Utena felt her attention directed towards R05’s wrist. A small gun was embedded there; not strong enough to do any real damage to the Angel, but enough to distract it enough to give the planes enough time to retreat. She lifted R05’s arm and fired.

The shot hit the Angel right at the edge of one of its mouths. The thing stiffened, and turned towards them. “Hey wait, how does it see us if it doesn’t have any eye- AH!” Utena’s sentence was cut off by a scream as the Angel charged them, slamming into R05’s chassis and knocking them both back. One of its shoulders collided with the Eva’s forearm, and she gasped in pain as its swordlike fangs dug in. It’s not real , she tried to convince herself desperately, as she felt the fibers of her muscles severed and teeth grinding against her bones. It’s just feedback, it’s not your pain…

But it was R05’s.

Machine or not, R05 felt pain.

A newfound determination welled in Utena’s chest. I can’t let this continue, she thought. I’m fighting for both of us, now.

She clutched the prog knife in her free hand and drove it upward. It crashed into the orange forcefield, sending splinters of pain up Utena’s arm, but she kept pushing. She felt a pulse of energy shoot out from R05’s core, and suddenly, the knife’s blade slipped through the field, right into the monster’s shoulder.

The Angel howled in agony and released her, but Utena didn’t retreat, instead springing back to (her? The Eva’s?) feet. She grasped the knife in both hands and brought the blade down on the orb in the Angel’s back again and again, until she felt something crack underneath the point. She dug the knife deeper, and the orb suddenly lit up, brighter than the sun—

She and R05 were thrown back by the explosion, they hit the side of a mountain, their heads impacting painfully against the rock, stars danced before their eyes—

It smells like roses, Utena thought.

Then there was nothing but darkness.

#revolutionary girl utena #rgu #neon genesis evangelion #nge #shoujo kakumei utena #sku #utena tenjou #anthy himemiya #utena x anthy #misato katsuragi #ritsuko akagi #utenanthy #my writing

[pastelpaperplanes]

hey i've been kind of burnt out by tf fandom because a lot of drama that's happened lately so i just wanted to say thank you for being a cool and positive person; i get stressed just from seeing some people's usernames (i block but they still show up) but when i see yours i always know it's either going to be some neat art or a headcanon or something nice, ty for that

aww anon you’re too kind, I’m glad my art and rambling has helped out a bit

Please take care of yourself anon💕 I’m sorry certain things around the fandom have left you stressed, but please remember that fandom is supposed to be fun—the great thing about social media is you can control/curate your own experience, good for you for choosing to taking yourself out of those stressful situations by blocking! I know that for some people that may feel like a hard decision, but for the sake of your mental health and stress levels I’m sure it will only help you in the end so you can try and have the best positive experience you can manage!

Don’t be afraid to take breaks from media or your fandoms if you do feel like it’s taking a toll on you. If you feel like your online experience or time in the fandom IS causing you that level of stress, it may be time to take a break for a bit!

Fandom will always be there, people will move in and out, new content will always be there, and you can always go back and forth to view content without having to engage in the community of it all if that makes sense. Your experience is what you make of it, have fun with the time that you spend going around your fandoms—and know when to take breaks when you need it.

I hope in time you can feel less stressed anon! Ty again for the kind message and take care

#I’ve definitely had moments where I’ve wondered why some have blocked me/or if I should block others for whatever reasons are relevant #to those people #but what I’ve come to acknowledge is that there’s no shame in taking yourself out of those situations #you don’t owe others an explanation for blocking them and vise versa #ig in summary of it all: block and move on! #don’t dwell on it bc the availability of that option is there SPECIFICALLY to prevent that #keep yourself healthy! #asks #important

[trivialoveclub]

2020 Year in Review!

hey! i was tagged by the absolute angel that is ⚘ @unefleurofferte ⚘(tysm my love! 💞) for this 2020 tag! first off (even tho it's the middle of january already 🤡) i wanted to wish everyone a happy new year! not to get sappy 💀 but even tho i don't rlly talk/interact that much, it brings me a lot of happiness seeing u guys on my dash 🥺💗 i genuinely am supporting and rooting for you all and i wish u guys all the love and kindness in this new year bc you deserve it babes 💖

Rules: answer the questions about 2020 and tag some people to pass it on!

5 Fav Films You Watched in 2020

🎬 Soul (2020) "Your spark isn't your purpose. That last box fills in when you're ready to come live."

🎬 Onward (2020) "I never had a dad, but I always had you."

🎬 Klaus (2019) "A true selfless act always sparks another."

🎬 Diecisiete (2019) "You think I'd be doing all of this if I had no heart?

Maybe you're trying to get it back."

🎬 East Side Sushi (2014) "You know behind every great restaurant here, there are great latinos, in the back, in the kitchen, hidden. Prepping the food and making you all look good. Well, I don't want to be in the back anymore."

5 Fav TV Shows You Watched In 2020

📺 Like in The Movies (2020) "Do you ever feel like you're not the protagonist of your own story?"

📺 Given (2019) "Do you have anyone you like, Haruki-san? If that person suddenly disappeared from this world, what would you say?"

📺 Banana Fish (2018) "My soul is always with you."

📺 Masterchef Junior (2013-) Not a quote but Gordon Ramsay always says the dishes has "finesse" and now i can't stop saying it in everything 😭

📺 Next in Fashion (2020)

5 Fav Songs You Listened To In 2020

🎶 UGH! : BTS 🎶 "You're allowed to be angry, but bothering someone else's life, I don't like"

🎶 Fuyu No Hanashi : Given 🎶 "Just like the snow that hasn't completely melted in the shade I continue on with these feelings inside of me."

🎶 So Beautiful : DPR Ian 🎶 "My love is turning kinda gray / My heart is looking the other way."

🎶 PSYCHE : Joohoney 🎶 "All of the world pay attention"

🎶 Stay Tonight : Chungha 🎶 "Tell me what you wanna do, run away or stay tonight"

Top 5 Albums of 2020

💿 Map of The Soul 7 : BTS

UGH! ⏯ Black Swan ⏯ Inner Child

💿 Fatal Love : Monsta X

Sorry I'm Not Sorry ⏯ Nobody Else ⏯ Guess Who

💿 Ungodly Hour : Chloe x Halle

ROYL ⏯ Forgive Me ⏯ Lonely

💿 Mixtape [ PSYCHE ] : Joohoney

PSYCHE ⏯ Intro (Ambition) ⏯ DIA

💿 Chromatica : Lady Gaga

Replay ⏯ Sour Candy ⏯ Alice

Top 5 Books You Read in 2020

🤡 🤡 🤡

...i haven't read for fun in years 😔 i used to read a book every single day :(( but! i already have a list of ones i want to read so this year for sure im gonna be that girl again 🤧💅🏼

💌 How did you spend your birthday this year? 💌

uh hahaha 🤡 suddenly i can't read 🤡

well...i had to take my drivers test but i had no idea how to park so i mean obvs i was gonna fail 💀 so i got super anxious and then had a breakdown in the back seat when it was getting closer to my turn 😭 my parents had to reschedule it and take me home. i felt like such a disappointment. so it started off absolutely horrible, fortunately the rest of the day was a lot better but oof 🤪

💌 What was your most memorable day? 💌

i honestly cannot remember anything 😭 it's like one big blur but ummm...probably finishing high school! i felt like i could finally breathe 🥲

💌 What was your most memorable meal you had this year? 💌

hmm...ooo probably when my abuelita made us a bunch of paches de papa 🥺 i ate them for a whole week and i loved it entirely...my heart is pache shaped 🤧💘

💌 Did you find any new hobbies or interests in quarantine? 💌

hmm i don't think i got any new ones but i did get to be reminded again on how much i genuinely enjoy making food and like decorating/personalizing things! ☺💖

💌 What was the last big event/thing you remember doing before covid? 💌

uhhh i honestly can't think of anything? i literally don't go out 🤡 like im in chilling in this quarantine lifestyle bc nothing has changed for me 🤪

💌 5 good/positive things that happened to you in 2020? 💌

🌱 i finally escaped high school! 🎓🎉

🌱 i decided to take a gap year and the burnt out student inside me feels like she can finally exhale

🌱 i can't remember if it was in early 2020 or late 2019 but anyways I GOT MY DRIVERS LICENSE 😝😝 i honestly...do not know how i got it...i took 15+ minutes to park (as u can see your girl didn't learn her lesson) but bless that man for passing me i hope u have a beautiful life sir 😭💖 however i have not stepped in the driver's seat since then 💋 i refuse 💋

🌱 i honestly would say watching Soul 🥲💗 i've always been obsessed w my meaning and purpose in life and that movie rlly just hit home for me...i think about it everyday and im literally starting to tear up right now so let me just stop 🤪

🌱 hmm honestly just being home 💗 i now have an excuse to stay in all time and that brings me so much peace in my heart 🤧

💌 Biggest messages or lessons learnt from this year? 💌

that there's a lot to live for. and i rlly want to enjoy it? and like w the gap year i still feel guilty and still feel like im wasting time and not being productive (love being a capricorn 🤪) but im trying to not think like that...and the fact that Soul came out and it's whole message is literally like life is beautiful and it's meant to be lived 🥺 it rlly like...set that for me u know...there's so many little things that truly make me excited about life and i want to enjoy it and after those 4 years in high school of constant work and stress and losing my entire mind maybe i actually deserve it 🥲 so um yeah..sjdkajd

💌 And what are you most looking forward to in 2021? 💌

a lot ☺ everything honestly...wow omg that's so weird asjakjd ahhh 😭😭💘 [insert that paul rudd who would have thought not me meme] but i wanna do sm much!! bake and cook and learn to knit! and personalize my clothes and READ! and watch movies and shows! and i'll also be going back to school so i rlllllllllyyyyyyyy want to learn how to manage my time bc my procrastination truly fucked me in the ass in hs 🤡 but yeah im excited ahh! ☺

And We're Done!

oof my memory is so awful i feel like i can't remember anything that happened in 2020 🤡 this ended up being a bit long 💀 so if u made it to the end...thank u for reading...ily 😚💌 besitos for you! 💞

tagging these cuties 💘: @moonlattae @fluorescente @glossierjoon @ardores @star99 @jooniephoria @ahearthrob @catboyjm @yoongidisease @violetmoonlits @koyan @stardustyoongi @7blueside @m1amor @sobsyub @m8nstruck @souheii @1okyos @virgomoon @alevchaan @jihyoist

#i wanted to tag a lot of people ☺ but of course if u don't want to do it u don't have to! 💌 #thank u again dear for tagging me! i honestly rlly enjoyed it! 💖 #and if anyone checks out the music/shows/movies i hope u like it! 💌 #oh and i added the spotify link to the album if u click on the title! 💃🏻💃🏻 #tagged 🥰

[chivesout]

Hii Gabe idk what to ask but feel free to tell me anything :D

hiiiii uhm. what's been on my mind lately. ok here's something:

i need to start consuming more political/social issue related media. being into mcyters has sorta made me shy away from it for whatever reason (i think i burnt myself out earlier this year when i was basically hyperfixated on breadtube if any of y'all know what that means). and while that was a cool time with lots of growth, it also gave me a horrific amount of anxiety where i would start seeing EVERYTHING through every social lens known to man. it was like i had these xray goggles for Problematicness and it ate away at my mental health sooooo badly.

so then getting into mcyt right after a like. 2 week long hasan obsession (yes i was a hasan frog before i was a dream stan fun fact) was SUCH a change. mostly because mcyt fandom has in many spaces a very... immature? reactionary? approach to both criticism of ccs AND how other parts of the fandom react to said crit... like i kind of just gave up thinking critically for a bit. which was fine and good and a much needed break but now i'm like. i need to watch the 10 or so khadija mbowe videos that i've put in my watch later and never gotten around to. i need to start thinking about social issues in my real life and how i can help people around me.

in general i tend to either be really into a fandom (where i end up kinda... well not excusing but perhaps not being as critical as i would normally be about whatever it is i'm a fan of, out of emotional self protection) OR i tend to be really into social issues and just thinking about the world critically 24/7. and i sort of switch between the two every once in a while.

#tbh hasan is sorta a midpoint between my normal breadtube and dnitwt #(which is the side of twt i ended up on) #bc hes more dirtbag left than a lot of the ppl i follow #more-like-reyna #gabe.txt #ask

[yn-dere]

La sorcière • Y!K.TH

Synopsis: The goddess Ashtoreth seemed to have found her worshipper.

Ship/s: Photographer!Taehyung x Antagonist/seductress!Reader

Warning/s: Angst, Yandere/Dark themes, Manipulation, Mentions of killing, Bored and mean reader.

(Note: this takes place in the late 19th century)

'It is not the quality of the desired object that gives us pleasure, but rather the energy of our appetites'

~ Charles Baudelaire, The end of Don Juan

A dejected summer, that's what it was. The suffocating air that leaves you sweltering in your corset but I am anything but, naked on my cold feet with a cigar between those gentil fingers, sluggishly looking out from my apartment window into the florid affluent streets which were once quite and reserved. The sounds of playful squabbling, the occasional delightful squeals of children, the ecstatic laughter of women did nothing to soothe that covetous feeling throbbing at the pit of my stomach. Nor did the family of stars splattered all across the dark night sky with the dazzling moon nowhere to be seen. They seemed to be mocking me with every sparkle, impersonating my woe by disappearing this second only to come back and laugh at my face. Oh well. It hurts my chest as I exhale out the smog; I forgot that I even took a drag. Not even smoke can replace that void in my lungs now.

This moment is slightly pleasant though, accompanied by the crisp breeze that blows in through the drapes, strong enough to make my locks flutter and trigger my cigar to litter on the window railing (that I'm not bothering to clean anytime soon) but not enough to take the glum away with it. The only thing that found me pleasant enough to return. And... the troubled men that found home in my cosy and welcoming bed. Neither of them were guaranteed.

Thinking about men, I glance back into the dark room to spot the man I chose for the night. Blissfully sound asleep between my covers, with a small but radiant smile adorning his regal face. He really emulated the beautiful night sky, the baby constellation spreading across his portrait in the form of les grains de beauté. The way the light reflected off of his unblemished face puts la lune to shame, almost looking as if it is it's own light source. His beauty truly was bewitching and I would've felt envious of it if I didn't know any better.

If I didn't own an enormous dressing mirror in the corner which kept reflecting the street lights back onto my eyes; it was adorned with pink crystals, fresh roses and myrtles, white feathers and burnt out incense that left behind a soft but strong scent. It truly looked like an altar for venus herself, towering over me to have me take a look at the highly sexual, supremely confident, alluring female that offers endless pleasure and a bit of... danger. At least, that's what people men see. And I agree with it. I know the expression does sound like something that would come out of Narcissus' mouth as he stares into his reflection but can you really blame me?

It's the huge impact left on me by years and years of society misjudging me as just another pretty face in the crowd. No matter how hard I worked on something, it would always be de-emphasized. All the blood, sweat and tears only to be wasted because individuals couldn't see the nimble brain past the pleasant portrait. I wanted to stand out, and I did at times but.. not in the way I wanted to. But soon enough, I began to convince myself that maybe this isn't so bad at all, and wearily...

... I accepted it.

I accepted my place in the stupid community as one of those women, a blood sucking succubus is just how they saw me to be exact. Mind you, I've never stood sturdy in any of my subjects until I slowly started to abuse my power and it made me feel competent and sure enough I felt powerful enough to destroy families, to get someone to chase me so feverishly that they lose control but I guess I was never that valuable to keep nor was I important enough for someone to actually care about me. The only difference between your pompous narrator here and a poor mistress is that I don't have a fickle of hope nor do I really care enough about a particular visitor to be left heartbroken.

It still kills me to feel impotent at the end of the day (or the start of the day, when they leave me with nothing). I feel like THE FOOL, a frail dog chasing a car....

....But as the lonely sun finally decides to set to rest and the family of stars gets more discernable with every shimmer against the dark and misty horizon; I, once again find myself repeating history as if my life's a record on the phonograph. But as one get sick of listening to the same song over and over again, there's a momentary pause... and then an appalling revelation; it's seems as though you've been singing the most important part of the song, the chorus, wrong.

And suddenly I can grasp it all..

.

.

.

You see, lust is what makes one take a glance at you. Temptation is what makes them throw caution in the air, when they know they shouldn't. But is it really enough to keep the attention on you? Is the beauty really enough for the sirens who beckon sailors to their destruction? If that was the case, wouldn't mermaids be able to do the same? Love is-

"...h-hey?"

That deep voice...

Then suddenly, lean icy fingers grabbed my arm and pulled me back into reality just when I started inching through the darkness in my mind.

Oh God. How did I not see him wake up? Especially with the mess he made in an effort to get up from the bed? One of the pillows accompanied with the sheets are on the floor... those velvet covers are really hard to wash. I will never forgive him for that.

But my irritation soon turned into embarrassment when I pondered over how crazy I must have looked, naked while just staring into my mirror with a cigar in hand. Or what was left of it, the soft ash on my fingers, my bare breasts and one of my thighs.

"Is everything a-alright?" He questioned. I looked down to his palm which was still holding my arm with a firm grip. He followed my gaze, his eyes widening slighting as he quickly let it go. "I m-mean, you were kind of dazed off or something. I thought..." he muttered after clearing his throat in a futile attempt at ceasing the stuttering. "Yeah.. I was just thinking about something" I replied as I looked up at his eyes and his orbs that were just suffering with nervousness and uncertainty were now swimming in curiosity. I couldn't help but let a giggle get past my lips. He hummed in response as his brows furrowed. "about.. this." I uttered, feigning a bashful look. His brows furrowed even further, creating small lines on his otherwise smooth forehead. "What do you mean by "this" ?" He seems to have forgotten his tense stance and the risqué side of me wanted to bring it back so I tried. "Our liaison, everything we did and...." if it weren't for the pin drop silence in the room, I would've never heard his breath hitching as he waited for me to continue. "Us." I finished with a whisper...

... After what seemed like an eternity of waiting for him to answer, my patience wore thin so I couldn't help but gently poke his chest. It surely did broke the trance he was in and the cute timid man was back. "Uh- I- uhm" he stuttered, looking at everything but my presence. I slowly started to feel the disappointment building up in the bottom of my stomach. Why do I when I didn't even expected anything else? If this is the only way it can go for me, why not have a little fun? I couldn't help but let out a smirk which I covered in a second, hoping he didn't see it. "I might be quite racy at times but I don't just do this with anyone. I thought I told you in the tavern that if you are to leave, leave already..." as soon as I finished bluffing the sadness in my voice, I casted my eyes downwards at his feet as I anticipated the same white lies but they never came. I awaited the "I will never leave you", "you're the best thing that ever happened" or my personal favorite one " I have a wife and kids that I love very dearly" but he didn't say anything. And just as I was about to look up, the smooth dark honey voice cut me off.

"And I thought I told you that I didn't want to follow you back home for whatever fleshly pleasures you had to offer.." the hint of disappointment was evident. This was a new one to add in the book, eh? "But because my precious cameras are all in vain without your figure and your lively soul.. like an empty canvas to an artist with no references or muse." My ears couldn't help but perk up as he continued, " Sure, they might not be too good at capturing the enigma that is you as the films only render in shades of grey which evidently fails to recognize the different shades of your blush and the undertones, but this is all that I have..."

It's his time to wait as I, for the first time, didn't know what to say. He opened his lips once again "I would be lying if I said I didn't gravely fell in love the second I took my first glance at you months ago. Love at first sight was never my thing but you cleared all my doubts about the idea". I wanted to mock him and tell him about how lust in first sight is a thing, not love but I rather chose to humor him. "That's what they all said..." I slowly look up at his face, looking at each and every feature carefully leaving out his mors than intense eyes. "Who are "they"?" He asked with a slight fury in his voice and the sharp edge of the words spoken almost gashed my already tainted soul. I wish I didn't faked the courage and take a glance into his orbs since I saw the immense anger and hatred through his narrowed eyes as he scrutinized my very existence. I withered uncomfortably under his glare, already regretting opening my mouth without thinking.

"You seriously didn't just compare me to those men, did you? After everything I've done? After I got rid of those hideous women that had nothing else to do but spread nasty rumours about you because the same husbands that couldn't get it up for them were lusting after you? Because they couldn't hold their husbands accountable so they were threatened by you?" He took a sharp but shaky breath before continuing, "Or after I got rid of those men who bonded over their heinous fantasies about violating you?..." I cover my mouth, I feel like throwing up. Not because I don't want to/can't believe it but because this is alot of information to take in in a few minutes. I heard him sigh and his voice suddenly changed from being gruff to soft in a second as he saw my terrified look, "you see these hands, sweetheart?" He said in a slightly coaxing voice as he laid his large hand on top of mine, "They were only used to clicking pictures of everything beautiful and developing them but now, they're stained with shed blood of anyone who dared to lay a finger on you.... You made me this way. You made me so empathetically challenged. You did this."

Me? Me...

I did this. I made him this way.

"How could you have been so blind?"

How could I have been so blind?

Maybe I didn't give myself enough credit.

And as he continued to stare into my frame with such adoration that it reminded me of what I was thinking about before he startled me by waking up...

As I was saying previously, lust is what makes one take a glance at you. Temptation is what makes them throw caution in the air, when they know they shouldn't but it's still not enough to keep the attention on you. Love is. It is the greatest weapon of all. It's the most exceptional power that you can have over someone. Making them do what they never thought they ever would do, act in ways they might've mocked previous to meeting you, taking up any space in their mind that was left for rationality and instead plaguing it with sweet obsession. Not even fear dares to compete with love when it comes to power. If anything, they go hand in hand. It truly turns a mermaid to a siren.

Wow. It's not the family of stars that I envied, who would want to look like some aliens just jizzed all over the sky? I was made to be la lune, who with all her blemishes littering her skin still stood unfazed as her admirers wrote poems about her beauty. It's not the homely women that I envied, I have always been quite sophisticated but I just wanted to belong somewhere.

I wanted power over someone or something.

And the thought of me making this man do the most vile acts of crime that humanity cannot even begin to visualize in their brains flared up the familiar feeling of ascendency and competency but this time? It was about to stay. Why? Because he is to stay.

I softly smiled at that thought and slowly held my small hands up to his face to caress his cheeks. The shyness got to him as he squeezed his eyes shut to relish in the contact without having to look at my amused face. I could feel him slowly shaking under finger tips, his face was warm unlike the rest of his body. The effect that my small gesture had on him is unlike anything I've ever seen or experienced. This isn't vulgar, this is sensual. And sure, what I feel might not be love but it has one thing in common with it. It's a drug. A high we're both on, and not even my cigar, my only companion for so long can compete with it.

Let's see how long this lasts before I drain all life out of him... or maybe, this is forever but I doubt. Then again, he- wait a minute... what's his name, again? This is going to suck. As I was saying, he does like to surprise me so let's hope for the best.

"Okay, let's just forget we met like this... hello, my name's y/n", I reached out for his hand to shake with a small smile on my face. He erupted into giggles as he took my hand, "Nice to meet you y/n, this is taehyung." Taehyung. Oh taehyung. And suddenly the cheerful atmosphere turned into something sinister as I pulled him in.

"Taehyung, I am like a raging flame.. don't be a moth and get too close or I might destroy you" I whispered in my raspy voice, the smirk that played in my rouge lips being incredibly devilish along with that red unnatural glint in my eye.

"I want to be destroyed."

#yandere #bts #bts x reader #bts yandere #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #yandere bts #yandere bts imagines #yandere!bts #yandere taehyung #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #jeon jungguk #yandere!taehyung #taehyung x reader #taehyung x y/n #taehyung x you #bangtan sonyeondan #bangtan #bangtan boys #bangtan bts #bts imagines #taehyung imagine