#i'm not even sure it will be successful

[sonnetnumber23]

Good Omens Season 2 Rewatch

I’ve started a rewatch of GO2 and I’ve got two main purposes:

1)      Find the reasonable proof and explanation that Aziraphale was not a complete stupid arsehole in the last episode, and all that had reasons – and therefore help my girlfriend and myself to make peace with this ending which we’ll have to live with for a very long time if not forever.

2)      Get into the material more properly to write my own fix-it fic. I really need one for therapy reasons and I want it to be a something I believe in.

Since writing is a very lonely process and I want to discuss things or at least shout into the void rn, I’ll comment on what I see and feel along the way if I feel like it. If anyone reads it, please be aware of the spoilers and forgive my mistakes – I’m not going to proofread it. Also feel free to discuss things with me too if you like. I wish us all to get the show renewal very soon.

1.      Before the beginning.

Okay, I’m with you, guys when you rage against the rewrite of the canonical meeting scene, and Aziraphale being the first to fall in love. I believe them when I see it, but I don’t like it. (*insert the Doctor Who gif here*)

Crowley is downright stunning in this scene despite the ridiculous hair. The way he marvels at his creation as if it’s his child and something entirely separate from him at the same time – that’s just incredibly moving, and I can see how Aziraphale is immediately drawn to him.

What struck me unexpectedly during the second watch was that…

From Aziraphale’s POV, it was him, Aziraphale who led Crowley to his Fall.

Not Lucifer and not even himself. It was Aziraphale who first made Crowley question the will of the Almighty. If it were not for him Crowley wouldn’t ask those questions that got him into trouble.

I mean, of course that’s not true. Crowley would have learnt about the limits of the universe eventually even without Aziraphale, and his constant urge to doubt things and think for himself would have brought him to Lucifer.

But in that moment Aziraphale has just seen the perfect angel exercising God’s will and a moment later – after his words – that angel started to doubt the Almighty.

Azraphale with all his experience at shoving the unpleasant thoughts away would certainly convince himself that it wasn’t his fault. But deep down he’d blame himself – if only just a little – for Crowley’s Fall.

Can’t that too be one of the reasons why he so desperately wants to unFall Crowley??

Don’t know about you, but I’d quite like that.

***

Aziraphale: “I’m very good at forgiveness. It’s one of my favourite things.”

Flash forward to “I forgive you”, ugh L

I do hate that line in the last episode sooo much. However, as a person who makes a lot of mistakes and often asks for forgiveness, this is what I think:

People who very easily forgive people are often those who wish that they were forgiven themselves. Aziraphale if desperately insecure and self-conscious (which I will address to in other episodes), and he compensates for that trying to be part of the system and a community and by claiming that he is the good one. Unlike Crowley he actually has very shaky beliefs about what good and evil are. That’s because he has this learnt truth and he has something he feels deep down. And they often contradict each other, but since he knows (deep down) he’s not a truly good person, he doesn’t trust his own guts more than he trusts what he knows.

So he actually craves forgiveness and approval himself, which is why he’s so quick to forgive people around him – even those who don’t need his forgiveness.

***

Crowley: “You have three reasons for calling me: you’re bored, you need to tell someone about something clever you did before you pop, or something’s wrong. << That’s one of the facts that prove that they both learnt very little after the Armageddon’t. They’re still the same weird sort of friends, only now they can meet more often without the fear of being punished. But they still haven’t talked anything through, Crowley still sleeps in his car, and they both aren’t sure what the other one think of their relationship. My darling idiots. T_T

***

When Crowley comes back after the talk with Beelzebub he apologizes even though his previous words were “Aziraphale, what have you done?” He has nothing to apologize for here and yet he does, because only this way he can be back at Aziraphale’s side. It’s such a parallel with S1’s scene where Crowley comes back to the bookshop after the bandstand argument and apologizes even though it was Aziraphale who said they were not friends and much more.

It’s interesting because while Aziraphale is eager to forgive because he feels guilty deep down, he doesn’t like to admit his fault – he remembers all the times he did. Crowley on the other hand is ready to say he’s sorry, maybe because he knows that he is right but he’s doing it for Aziraphale. He needs Aziraphale too much to let a little thing like apology stand between them.

*

Other things:

“It’s called hot chocolate. You drink it.” – a parallel to “It’s sushi. You dip it in soy sauce.” I love it so much that this time Aziraphale got to introduce Gabriel to some earthly delights.

*

Gabriel: “Well, I expect it will be fine. Most things are fine at the end.”

Oh yeah? Are they, Neil??

*

So funny that when Maggie thanks Aziraphale and says he’s an angel, and Crowley asks if he’s been doing good again, Aziraphale starts to deny it as if it were something embarrassing. :D Also lovely that Crowley actually wants to know – he loves Aziraphale being Aziraphale. I think this season I can finally agree with David Tennant saying that it infuriates Crowley that he loves Aziraphale. It has always seemed a bit far-fetched to me, because I’m sure Crowley came to terms with his feelings a while ago. But in this season you can see that it’s not about him being angry with himself for loving Aziraphale. He’s angry at himself for loving what Aziraphale is – all his trusting-believing-in-good self. :’D He hates that this is the part of Aziraphale that often both hurts him and puts Aziraphale himself in danger, and yet it’s the part that he loves.

(Which makes me think: if Aziraphale turned down the Metatron’s proposal and chose life with Crowley away from all this, and then started to lose his angelic features and beliefs, due to the disappointment in himself, wouldn’t Crowley feel like he’s losing Aziraphale, and it’s his fault?)

*

Crowley is the first in the scene after he sees Gabriel to use the word “we” and “us”. He Thinks of them as an item. Then he’s the first one to switch to “what I need…” He feels so threatened here; he feels that “they” aren’t as important to Aziraphale as to him, so he tries to hide his own feelings as if he only thinks of himself. Oh, Crowley! :’(

*

Aziraphale: “If you refuse to help me, then of course…” He’s such a manipulative bastard, I can’t. The fact that he tries to use the same weapon in the last episode... ugh.

***

Okay, this was only one episode yet, and it took forever. And I’m not even mentioning the bits I simply loved or those things which I’ve already read about in other people’s posts…

Oh my!

#good omens 2 meta #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens #i'm not even sure it will be successful #but it's easier for me to think straight with a keyboard under my fingers #long post

[petersthree]

I love when tragedies are like... (in/sp)

#successionedit #succession #successiondaily #useroli #useraudrey2 #tuserlena #tuserdi #usernicolee #tuserbeth #angelspotlight #userbrina #userahay #userlex #kendall roy #shiv roy #roman roy #janie makes stuff #*gifs #(decided to keep roman in that /didn't save anyone/ even though i'm not sure about it #bc he's out of his cage but what does he /have/ who does he have who's in his corner? he's a freed dog but #maybe in the way that colin is or maybe he's a repeat of ewan - or maybe he'll get better we don't know! but #the potential for hope or tragedy is equally likely despite his smile) #succession spoilers

[homielander]

shiv's motivations for voting to pass the gojo deal are so layered and i don't think they should be dismissed in favour of any one interpretation. shiv desperately grabbed on to a lifeline for her relationship with tom. shiv was the deciding vote and she couldn't bear to hold the crown only for a moment just to place it atop her brother's head. shiv knew she would have more influence as wife of CEO rather than sister of CEO. shiv absolutely hated seeing kendall crystallize into logan before her eyes, especially when he made roman bleed ("and if we did kill him we get to go to bed") -- succession has always been about siblings so of course she tried to free her brothers before her child. shiv still thinks she can raise her child with all the material benefits of being the daughter of waystar CEO while doing better by her, whatever that means. and all of those things are true

#shiv roy #succession #succession spoilers #ok i'm sleeping #wait i know i just assumed tomshiv baby is a girl but like. i'm right #also i have seen many people say shiv did it purely out of spite and i will say #i don't think they would have had dialogue about shiv saying she's tired and they should all rest #or panned to shiv looking at roman's face fresh with blood #or shown shiv tearing up over her conversation with tom at the beginning of the episode #or had her say 'i cannot stomach you' which has pretty obvious connotations even in the context of succ #or had shiv make up her mind precisely when kendall said the andrew dodds confession was a lie #if her motives weren't meant to be read as ambiguous. they would not have put those things in there without reason #shiv leaving the room may have been impulsive spite but what came after was more complicated #it's also not even wholly altruistic it's just cold admittance that they don't have It. she thinks she does #and i'm not sure why the sentiment that they can't take it but she can surprises anyone #she's literally always seen herself as the exception

[clowndensation]

the thing is roman is literally my primadonna girl my goodtime guy my empty husk of a man who's hollowed himself out to become a better receptacle for daddy's love. except daddy couldn't love him, because roman didn't do a good enough job scraping the last of his entrails out, so he had to go back in with a scalpal and a bucket, fake molars grinding against real ones, until all he's got left inside him are the pieces logan wanted him to keep.

but of course logan dies, and roman (hollow) is left with a hole that needs filling, and no idea what to fill it with. and he tries his family's love, but when has his siblings' love ever filled anything up? when has it done anything but hollow them all out even worse? and so he tries gerri's love, but he carved himself out wrong for that, and she won't fill him up anymore. and so he turns to the bloated corpse of his father, still warm, and he gorges himself on that.

and now roman (rotting) is finally something other than empty. and if every time he opens his mouth, he regurgitates logan roy, then all that means is that he gets to fill himself back up again afterwards. and roman roy (dying) would take the decaying carcass of his dad over the hollow failure of himself any day.

#SORRY for being a roman roy walking corpse enjoyer. i love when he's at his most desperate and least real. unfortunately. #anyways don't even worry about it. i'm sure he'll be fine #all this is okay and a good coping mechanism actually. he'll bounce back. you'll see. #succession

[larrylimericks]

17Feb23

“Yes lad!!!” for Ni’s song! Hello, lovers! Just wait until Louis discovers Recent noteworthy acts (Which may merit congrats?) By the curly-haired one of his *brothers*.

#larry #louis #louis tomlinson #niall #niall horan #nouis #louis posted to his insta story congratulating niall on the release of heaven #which is so lovely and so pure #but also makes it so apparent and so sad #that he can't publicly acknowledge harry's successes #even when harry just won the literal highest honor in music #but niall did post in support of louis' album #so maybe he's just returning the favor #but still #limerick-lt #february 17 #2023 #i'm sure the grammy sex was hot

[tearlessrain]

seriously can catastrophes stop happening for five minutes my brain is already fried from the ones we're already experiencing

#I fucking. missed d&d tonight by accident #I straight up forgot #and just didn't show up to the session #my sleep schedule is absolutely fucked #I should be sleeping now but brain won't shut up #my creative output is the lowest it's ever been and I've been in some level of depressive funk since like early january #I am just deeply unfathomably exhausted #like mentally and spiritually #all the time #my memory and sense of time are both shit #my spelling is worse than it used to be for some reason?? #I really don't know what to do to make my brain start functioning again it's frankly worrying me #I couldn't even handle college so it should come as no surprise that I'm reacting poorly to the world being a perpetual screaming trash fir #and yet #idk it's been hitting again lately that I have never succeeded at anything in my life and just keep tripping and falling up for some reason #fucking everyone is in hell right now and with my overall success rate I should be dead in a ditch but I'm actually doing spectacularly #due to a series of improbable accidents and weird circumstances that happened to turn out in my favor instead of completely fucking me #aside from the looming spectre of my various failed attempts to have some kind of life trajectory #it just doesn't feel like this can keep up forever #like surely at some point the luck has got to run out I can't just keep living like some kind of folkloric trickster archetype #but my motivation and sense of purpose kind of died after the last failed attempt so I'm still just here #doing whatever this is #maybe I should drive out to the coast #maybe staring at the ocean would fix me I've been away from it for too long #I mean it can't make me worse #I should wait until further into summer though so I don't have to drive back in the dark #everyone around here has trucks with those goddamn LED headlights and I've got a little sedan that's directly in their blast zone

[cakebatteronabrickwall]

I’m still at a loss as to what happened to roman, I’d like to hear your interpretation if you could

I’ve been trying to answer this for a bit now and I’m just going to cut to the most important part of my interpretation, so feel free to ask again if you want more. 

Basically, I keep coming back to the No Real Person Involved narrative Succession introduced in season 2. When does the story apply NRPI and who to? The waiter and the cruise ship victims. What do they have in common? Abuse of power. The waiter’s death is swept under the rug, because Logan Roy can make it so; the cruise victims and their sexual abuse becomes meaningless in the face of a media empire. 

But Roman also is told “you are not a real person”. He is told he remembers the dog cage, the defining thing of his childhood, wrong. He tends to make jokes refering to sexual abuse about himself (whereas the violent language of sex other characters use is reserved for business only), but nobody fully reacts to these comments with more than “wtf?”. The narrative essentially places Roman on the same level as the abused women on the ships; the violence from within the Roy family reaching outwards and coming back around.

The SA jokes, especially, are tricky territory, because at some point you have to make a decision whether they should be taken at face value or not. Here is the thing though, to me they all have an eerily similar theme- Telling the therapist about Connor SA-ing him? The comment about the camp counselor fucking him? The hostage situation ending in SA? The whole “if we agree on a wrong thing it’s not actually wrong” (which is seriously not something someone just comes up with, like, that thought has been there for a while)? The cut line of “trust me” “that’s what men say before they rape you”? Taking the leap from “well connected” to pedophilia? It becomes a pattern when you look at it like that.

Now, Roman says he was sent to military school after he “went weird” which might give us pause at this point, because wtf does that even mean. There is an empty space here. Yeah, maybe Logan sent Roman away because he was sent away as well and thought it might make him “stronger”. But maybe he just sent him away, because Logan always sensed something about his son that wasn’t right. And maybe, just maybe, the parallel of the cruise victims being silenced and a child being sent away to be silenced even starts here. Maybe Logan knew to sweep something under the rug before Kendall's accident.

Oh, and military schools- one can only guess what goes on behind closed doors. You essentially have authority (even paternal) figures that can do just about anything. 

What happened to Roman? Probably nothing, right?

#try answering like a normal person difficulty level 1000 #sorry about that and i mean it i'm sure i forgot 50% of my actual thoughts so if anything is unclear keep asking me please #also obv not claiming any of this as objective in any way #i literally changed my initial point of view on the csa theory as you can tell #not even getting into the 'he made me breathe funny' of it all #succession #roman roy

[aetherixs]

when shiv comes back from that first phone call with tom and immediately enters “i’m fine lets just keep going” mode but roman says PAUSE THE DEAL WE NEED TO TALK TO OUR SISTER i almost died

#i'm so happy they're working together now #and actually caring for each other #they didn't even know it was a business thing at that point #but they were like #no shiv is upset lets make sure she's ok #and then it leads to one of the only successful deals on the entire show #fills me with joy #succession #succession s4 #succession premiere #kendall roy #siobhan roy #roman roy #succession spoilers

[bitchthefuck1]

I will never understand the fanfic impulse to take characters with thee most coo coo bananas codependent/nuanced/toxic/insane relationship and turn them into love interests #1 and #2 in a generic romance novel. like what is even the point anymore

#i don't just mean 'bad' relationships that they're trying to romanticize or sanitize; this happens all the time with 'good' relationships #with some funk or flavor to them where they sand off all of the things that actually make them interesting and compelling #and you're just left with this bland ball of nothing like they're generic couple no. 4 in a clothing ad #like girl why are you even here then?? what was the appeal for you that made you want to write about these people in the first place??? #you've taken all the flavor out??? #it always reminds me of that one screenshot someone took of a tag on a succession fic that was like 'logan is a good dad au' and its like #okay well why are we here then? like that changes so much about the characters and the story (and also like the entire point #the show is making about power and abuse) that you might as well write about literally anyone/anything else bc you're sure as shit #not writing about these characters anymore #and like. there's nothing wrong with enjoying bland or formulaic romance i'm not gonna find you and come to your house #but if that's what you're into then why do you even like these people??? #to be clear i don't mean 'take them and place them neroses and all into a suburban home to watch them chew the wallpaper and #confuse their neighbors' that's completely different

[brittlebutch]

a lot of people seem to use Entry #60 as 'proof' for the crux of the "Brian didn't care about Tim, he was Taking Advantage of Tim's conditions and Forcing him to work as part of totheark" thing, but honestly when you think about it there's no possible way Brian could have possibly orchestrated that series of events, like you almost have to interpret that as a baffling group of coincidences

#N posts stuff #mh lb #it's not like Brian has loads of mutual friends that he could ask to call Tim out one night; Tim's departure right as Brian showed up #just has to be a coincidence ; second yes. Brian does steal Tim's meds & that's a dick move but it's almost safe to assume #that Tim and Brian had been sharing prescriptions back in S1 - that's why the pills were at Brian's house that time Jay broke in #even if Tim no longer remembers that agreement it's not like Brian is brimming with other options so i can see the throughline of it #but there's NO way that Brian knew that 1) Tim was going to immediately turn around and come back home OR #2) be in the throes of an attack when he did so ; there's no Possible way he planned for that -- even if you Could assume that like. what #Brian 'knows' the operator is following him & Somehow orchestrated an encounter 1) no that doesn't make any sense and #2) that Still doesn't make any sense bc Tim has been Plenty Close to the Operator before w/ almost no negative effects (like in #Entry 17 when it's Right behind him) so there's no possible way Brian could have predicted that would unfold this way #sure it's weird he sets up the camera in the closet before Tim comes back but that Could Have been something unrelated #after all sometimes Brian DOES deliberately put himself on camera so someone knows he's responsible for something #or maybe he even planned to leave the camera there for later but it doesn't make Sense to interpret that as him Knowing what would happen #like don't get me wrong i'm not trying to say Brian is a pinnacle of ethics and moral behavior lmfao but also it's like #a kind of incomprehensible argument to make that he was Responsible for Triggering Tim's seizure that night when for all the #information Brian had on hand when he broke in he'd think Tim probably wouldn't be back home until much later #(''but the Creators Clearly intended'' yeah sure but since the creators also failed to establish a coherent series of events that SHOW #it then like. the intent doesn't matter anymore; sure they scripted the events in close succession but that doesn't mean they #scripted Intent & if they meant to then they did a bad job portraying it to the point the supposed intent is meaningless sorry lmao) #and EVEN IF you get this far and you're Still like 'but tim went after Jay and Brian would've Known he'd do that' like. no he wouldn't #because in Entry 18 when we see Tim have a seizure the first thing he does when jay approaches him after it is Run Away #so Again there's no consistent throughline of behaviors that Brian could have Possibly known about to orchestrate jack shit

[clowndensation]

there’s a question to be asked i think about to what extent “getting out” can be conflated with “being saved” in this show, and what freedom actually means to any of these characters.

like you can argue that shiv saved ken by voting against him on gojo, but what if your intent behind saving someone is to inflict a worse punishment than if you’d just left them trapped? can a child weaned on poison survive on milk, or are you just sentencing them to a death by inches, starved of the only thing they know? and if you save someone specifically because you know that being saved is the worst thing that can happen to them, is that kindness or cruelty? at what point does a good thing become a malicious act?

and you can say that roman is finally free, but what exactly is he free from? the company? his father? does unlocking a cage mean saving a dog, or are you allowing him out on the street knowing there’s a kill shelter nearby? if the driving anxiety behind roman is that he’s an idiot and a failure—that he’ll never amount to anything, and trying will only lead to pain—and he’s finally cut loose once all of those anxieties have crystallized into cold hard fact in his mind, what has he actually escaped from? if the cage is in your mind, is it even possible for somebody else to unlock it?

the fundamental truth of a tragedy is that even being saved can be a death sentence, if the characters are incapable of escaping the thing doing them the most harm (themselves and their childhoods)

#'what about shiv' if i think about shiv i'm going to kill myself. she needs her own post. there's too much there to get into. #anyways seeing a tremendous amount of At Least Roman Is Free <3 tags that have me going. right. for sure. free from what? #because it's certainly not the intense amount of self disgust that has driven him in circles this entire time. #i fear he may feel the weight of alienation on his soul for the rest of his life. and he won't even try to alleviate it anymore. #and ALSO the idea that shiv went out of her way to save kendall as an act of like. altruism. like it was a sacrifice on her part #which i feel is a very toothless perspective on shiv and the psychological torment that's been weighing on her essentially since birth #like her choice in regards to gojo is one of the meatiest most harrowing bits of character work i've ever seen #and while of course there was love inside that action (because nothing these characters do is entirely divorced from love) #i don't think it was necessarily a kind or forgiving or sacrificial love #like this was an intense vitriolic snapping from a dog that has been kicked by her dad all her life. #and who absolutely refuses to accept that from her brother (because that would mean acknowledging that kendall takes the mantle of Dad- #and that she's subservient to him. which is the one thing she absolutely will never do #because it's a level of degradation that's finally a step too far) #anyways. um. insane season that i still can't look at directly or i'll perish on the spot. #succession

[isfjmel-phleg]

🍽🍽🍽🍽

#random personal stuff #whining ahead feel free to ignore #Thursday nights used to be a lot of fun #somehow I feel like they've devolved into something stressful even though I don't think I'm doing anything different #I stress myself out making a full dinner for 3-4 people #try to convince the temperamental TV to stream our show #politely listen to conversations that are often hard to contribute to #wash a mountain of dishes after everyone goes #they always seem to have a good time! that's the important thing #not sure what MY problem is though #this should be a lot more fun than it has become #maybe I just have a bad attitude #the guests are happy and that's the point #it is my job to facilitate this get-together that we wouldn't be able to have otherwise and thereby provide social enrichment #it's successful it should feel more successful than it currently does #anyway enough of that good night everyone

[thedreadvampy]

not to be a dick but if you've been through actual university level art school and you still think that it's unreasonable bullying to be asked to push yourself or experiment with different art styles or to have aspects of your artwork criticised by people you asked for an opinion. what was the point of art school for you exactly?

when people say shit like 'my art school tutors told me my art was bad bc it was too anime and cartoonish ☹️' that may be true but I'm not gonna lie what I suspect happen is they told you 'you should work on developing a solid foundation for any art style you choose by pushing yourself to try more representational art Anne getting comfortable with ways of seeing and understanding images' and what you heard is 'NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO DRAW CARTOONS EVER AND YOUR WORK IS WORTHLESS'

and furthermore I suspect that you were really annoying in crits and took any even slightly negative comment or suggestion as a personal attack even though literally the point of art school is to learn to take and grow from constructive advice from your peers.

shout out to the girl on my undergrad who burst into tears literally every crit for three years even though about the nastiest thing anyone said to her was 'it might look cleaner if you rubbed out any of your pencil lines after inking and also used a clean rubber while sketching.' and guess whose art didn't improve at all over three years and whose technique actively got sloppier while other people were moving forward in leaps and bounds? yeah.

there were people who started uni as the best in the class and ended as some of the worst bc they just weren't prepared to listen to criticism or change how they did anything. and there were people who started out very mediocre and went on to produce incredible professional work to a high standard bc they listened and were open to change. and that's got nothing to do with who was more painterly and who was more cartoony or whatever it's just. when you ask advice and get something you don't want to hear do you chew on it and try it out or do you dig your heels in and do more of the same?

and like I'm not saying there's anything wrong with sticking to your guns and doing art the way you want to do art and the way that brings you joy. I'm just saying if you don't want feedback, teaching or advice on how to improve I'm really not sure what the benefit of art school is that you couldn't get several thousand pounds cheaper by staying home and drawing there.

(and I'm also saying if you come out of art school like BOOHOO NOBODY LIKES MY STYLE AND MY ART IS WORTHLESS you might. need to pull yourself together and say either I'm committed to this style regardless of whether people like it and I'm going to keep building on this style and make it amazing, or I want to make art that's more like the work people like and I value, what could I change to get more where I want to go? but if you lie down and say waaaaaah it's so unfair that my art is bad and everyone else is just more talented than me then bullshit. by the time you've graduated art school talent is not the deciding factor in the quality of your work. it's a question of your willingness and capacity to put the work in, take criticism, understand what you want to achieve, and slog through trying and failing to get a certain effect until it improves. professional level art is not an innate talent it's a trained skill, and some people might start further along the path than others bc of their talent, eye or training, but the distance between someone who's talented but unpractised and someone who's less talented but puts a lot of thought and work in closes extremely rapidly. it can be disheartening but if you want to do this professionally rather than for yourself you gotta feel your frustration, have a good scream and cry about it, then get back in to figuring out what you need to build on. bc we're all guilty of sometimes going HOWEVER HARD I WORK I'LL NEVER BE AS GOOD AS MY PEERS but no offence if you just lie down and give up where does that get you? if you just start going 'actually you should all feel bad for not liking my work more' instead of making your work more appealing or finding the right audience for it, that's on you not on anyone else. what was the point of art school????)

#needless bitching time #i just. i don't understand why you'd pay thousands of pounds a year to get constructive feedback #and then spend the year treating any feedback as a personal attack #save your money my guy of you want to do it on your own and you don't think other people have anything to tell you #then don't pay 6 grand a year to not listen to other people's advice #saw three consecutive art posts on here of ppl being like MY TUTORS TOLD ME NOT TO DO ANIME ART BC THEY JUST DON'T GET ME #WHY ARE ALL MY PEERS DOING BETTER THAN ME DESPITE US ALL GRADUATING AT THE SAME TIME #friends it's not bc you do anime art it's bc they tried new things and learnt new skills and you dug your heels in bc anime is What You Do #but like. successful cartoonists and anime artists are ppl who've at least had a crack at life drawing and realism #to know what they're stylising and how #I'm sure there's some teachers going NO ANIME EVER but I'm p sure most of your tutors were actually saying #don't just do anime bc it's what you know how to do. try other styles bc even if you're bad at them you'll learn something #it's not just anime like. ppl who come in only doing photorealism are pushed to stylise more. #you should be pushed out of your comfort zone. different styles. different media. that's not where you're being asked to END UP. #it's a LEARNING PROCESS #like a lot of my direct tutelage was like. pushing me to do looser more gestural blockier art #use an a6 piece of paper and a fat marker pen for life drawing #or no lines only blocks of shadow #or use a 3 colour palette with no midtones #or draw 30 thumbnails in a minute #and the art i made like that SUUUUUUUUUCKED. and it's meant to. it's not meant to be how you work from now on. #it's meant to help you identify what you're missing and where your blind spots are #and what you can incorporate into your work moving forward #red said

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also was revisiting a little bmc bway interview ft. william last night & him saying his favorite part of the show was probably doing the agtikbi reprise scene on the couch at the party & mentioning the Nonverbal aspect of jeremy & christine's interacting / communicating there & a way of exploring/depicting Love & Affection in a way you don't always see everywhere and like aaaarghhhhh so true good lord that specific scene. and Again the bway obcr version Existing and being like that, it's just like. winded exhale yeah obsessed 5ever thank you all

#sooo true so true.... #bmc #love putting it right in like the eye of the storm #both of them basically just having had these breakups & with jeremy that means mitb scene And [all of that A Time he had prior] #also now reflecting on how you know obviously he was Not ready to hear it w/michael & ofc he was affected by what all Just happened #but it's also like probably the worst time to be very pushy even with the best intentions & thinking it's Urgent & right abt all that lmao #but jeremy's Just had like whoops autonomy revoked ten ways to sunday from two different squip figures like #even [being correct! having jeremy's wellbeing in mind!] behind trying to yank him into some outcome; he's gonna be like Not Again #& ofc the sunk cost re: his squip & he has not had time to catch his breath like literally; not in a place to Confront Shit #if even his missed bestie is; from his perspective here; not at all comforting & not giving him what he feels is a real option.... #& anyways ofc we can sympathize / understand them both b/c that's what the show is giving at all moments re all characters #all this to say like jeremy & christine like having such a time being very at sea very uncomfortable but then having This moment #and the refreshment & relief finally of having this successful genuine connection & relative security being with this person rn #love & affection for sure....just say what's on your mind....lord first of all that they improvise those Noises every night. i'm gonna cry #second of all imagining not knowing how that scene goes & the pause & jeremy like [augh] & then christine just Yes Anding. aaaugh #head in hands haven't even relistened for a moment despite all this reflection. the downtempo quiet reprise waaah #it's Pretty killer to sit & chat with you....it's pretty killer for me too....sooo true Not getting this everywhere always & Waaugh ;;m;; #and wasn't even thinking of it as a joke like [and talking about devote specific focus on the Nonverbal aspect of such a scene: im putting #my hands on the shoulders of that & keep drawing a deep breath to start talking abt it but instead going Whew & making Expressions] #i.e. the significance of my nonverbal response as per conveying emotions & thoughts lmao. and just....You Know

[stewyhosseini-bf]

one thing I will say that I kind of miss about the previous seasons is how the episodes used to feel a bit more self-contained, like their own little movies, which I'm kind of missing a bit in s4. lucy prebble at one point in the succession podcast described it as them having a sitcom-like feel to them, because each episode is built around one specific event; and while that's definitely still there in season 4, the way each episode does truly pick up almost exactly where the previous one left off time-wise, and the way that Logan's death and the children's grief is the red-thread that closely connects the episodes, kind of makes it feel like one long movie rather then 10 separate episodes. which is interesting and makes sense considering the focus of the season is supposed to be the children dealing with logan's death and consequent absence, and it's puts a slight spin on the formula they've used for 3 seasons and I think they've done that really well - so it isn't even a critique on my part, but I personally still really loved and kinda miss the way the episodes each felt more like their own thing, previously, ig

#i think this is one of the reasons the show is sooo rewatchable to me. there's some kind of event for anything #and the way the events happened felt a bit more natural with them being days weeks or even months apart previously #while now it does feel like a not-insignificant amount of time is dedicated to explaining why there are so many Events this season #like sure they've explained why we have norway after the wake and then investor day and the election soon so election party and the #funeral and etc and it all makes sense but i also don't really like the fact that there needs to be explanations for all that #its a bit of a pet peeve ig. like i just dont really want to have shiv explain to matsson #why they're still doing investor day i feel like they could've cut that #minor gripe. but yeah #succession #this also sounds like i'm saying there isnt a red-thread that connects the previous seasons . which is not what im saying obviously #but yeah. im probably over-explaining myself. the episodes used to feel more self-contained which i liked. they feel more connected #now which i also like but i miss how they used to feel as well

[sage-nebula]

Maybe I am not very good at much of anything, and maybe I am not good looking, and maybe I'm socially awkward and introverted in the extreme and have a difficult time maintaining relationships for those and other reasons, but at least I do my best to be kind and I think that counts for at least a little.

#thinking about how i am steadily moving toward death with every passing second #and how i am surviving and doing ok but am i successful in the ways that matter? #will i ever be? #if i died tomorrow what would there be to say abt me? do the people i love love me just as much? #there will come a day when my next breath will be my last and i don't know when that is #but i am already 33 so. it's closer now than ever #and will be even closer tomorrow. and the day after that #i've been alive 33 years and i'm not sure i'm worth much of anything #i guess it's better to be forgettable than hated but. doesn't feel like much of an accomplishment